Say You Love Me
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Writer Arizona Robbins loves to put her feelings into words...but can she put her feelings into actions when she meets an adorable new barista? Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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This day is really kicking my ass. I mean, most days kick my ass but this one? The worst. It's been a while since I've suffered some major writer's block but here I am, in my local coffee shop, and suffering like never before. I'd have thought yesterday's book launch would have given me a little motivation to break down that wall I seem to have hit, but nothing is working. Nothing is happening. Maybe I need to take a few weeks off. Maybe I should close my MacBook and settle back in my seat. I love watching people. I love seeing how they interact with one another. I could sit in the window of this shop all day and I wouldn't tire of it. I could watch people's lives on a daily basis. It's just who I am. The love. The fighting. The gossip. Maybe it's what encouraged me to become a writer, I don't know. Maybe it's what I was born to do. All I know right now is that my writing isn't happening and there isn't a lot I can do about it.

Last night was pretty amazing, and spending it with friends was all I could have hoped for. Childhood friends and my family sharing my special evening with me was a dream I'd always hoped would come true. Since I left college and pursued a career in writing, it was all I wanted. My name on the spine of a book. It was hard and at times I never thought it would happen but last night definitely happened. It happened…and now it's back to the grindstone. Now it's time to get my next hit novel out there. It won't be easy, just like last time, but it's what I love. It's the only thing that keeps me sane at times.

"Hey…" A voice pulls me from my thoughts and I look up from my blank screen. "Can I get you a refill?"

"That would be awesome, thank you." Giving the unknown woman my best smile, she takes my cup and leaves the space we have just shared. She must be new around here. I spend most of my time at this coffee house and I've never seen her. _I'd have remembered her._ Focusing back on my work, I breathe out a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose. _Come on…give me something._ I genuinely have nothing right now. Nothing but terrible writing.

Slamming my MacBook closed, I place my head in my hands and run my fingers through my hair. I can feel a headache coming on but it's only early so it's not the time to sleep yet. It's not the time to lock myself away at home like I do most nights and drink a bottle of wine. Wine is my favorite friend lately. It's the only thing that is always there for me lately. My friends have their own lives. My friends have their own work commitments. They don't need me to bitch and whine at them when things aren't going my way. The just don't need the drama of me in their lives.

"Excuse me…" The same voice startling me from my thoughts once more, I straighten my shoulders and sit upright. "Y-Your coffee." She smiles. _That's a pretty smile._

"Thanks." I sigh.

"You looked like you could use a little something extra so I threw in a Blueberry muffin." Lingering a little, I'm not sure what she wants from me. I'm not sure why she is still in my personal space. "Sorry, I just…" Glancing down at my newest book, she picks it up and runs her fingers over the front. "Have you started this yet?"

"No." I smile. "I haven't had time."

"You should make time…" She smiles. "I read half of it before I left for work this morning." _Okay, she doesn't look the type to read raunchy lesbian novels._ "You won't be disappointed."

"Maybe I'll give it a whirl tonight with a glass of wine." I smile, my dimples popping. A light blush creeping up her face, she drops her gaze and steps back a little. "Thanks for the muffin."

"N-No problem." She waves off my comment and gives me a small wave. "Enjoy…"

A final smile from me and the unknown brunette heads off back towards the counter, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again. My cell buzzing at the side of my laptop, I glance down and find a familiar name flashing on my screen.

 ** _Taking you out tonight. Pick you up at ten. T x_**

 ** _I'm not sure I feel up to it, but thanks. Az x_**

 ** _I'm not taking no for an answer. Be ready at ten or I'll drag you out in your pajamas. T x_**

Rolling my eyes, I lock my cell and place it back down. I really don't want to roam the streets of New York tonight. It's cold and I'd sooner be home trying to begin what I should have begun a few weeks ago. My publisher won't wait forever, and she has made that clear on more than one occasion. Lacing my fingers around my coffee cup, I sit back, cross my legs, and take in the hundreds of people walking around outside. Only the glass separating us, I feel a million miles away.

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Glancing over myself in the mirror, I'm satisfied with what I see. I'm looking pretty hot tonight, and I've only dressed like this because I know my best friend will be trying to get me hooked up with someone. She usually is, so I may as well just play along, right? Grabbing my cell and my keys, I slip them into my purse and straighten out my very tight, very small black dress. _Why do I wear these heels?_ I know I'll be barefoot by the time I'm heading home later tonight, but it's Friday and maybe I will just meet the woman of my dreams. Not likely, but we can all hope. Don't get me wrong, I love to play around and yeah…I do occasionally bring a girl home with me, but it hasn't happened in a while. It hasn't happened because I've been too crazy with my writing to allow myself to let off some steam. Maybe a one night stand will help me to do just that. Maybe I'll wake tomorrow, satisfied…and my new book will just flow. _Yeah, because you are that lucky._

Shaking myself from my thoughts, I head for the front door of my apartment and slip out into the hall. It's about to hit 10 pm and I know how much my best friend hates waiting around. Good thing she doesn't read my novels, huh? She would be waiting for a long time. Hitting the elevator call button, I step inside the carriage and it takes me down to the entrance to my apartment block. Teddy is waiting outside for me and as she catches sight, she rolls her eyes and checks her watch. Flipping her the finger, she shakes her head and I step out onto the street. "It's barely even ten, Teddy…chill out."

"So, maybe you could get here for 9:55 and then I wouldn't have to be mad at you." Tugging me down the street I furrow my brow and we cross the street. "You look good by the way."

"Um…thanks." I laugh. "Who have you set me up with this time?"

"Now, I figured you would say that so I decided to change it up a little tonight." She slows her pace and I fall into a more comfortable step with her. "We aren't going out to find your next lay tonight, Arizona."

"Oh." I shrug. _There goes my night of fun._ "So, where are we headed?"

"Strip club." She states as we cross another street.

"Sure we are." I shake my head and laugh. "Where are we going?"

"I just told you…we are going to a strip club." She deadpans. Studying her face, she isn't lying. She is really taking me to a strip club. "Move your ass, Arizona."

"Um…" Gripping her wrist, I stop her in the street and she turns to face me. "I'm _not_ going to a strip club."

"Yeah…we are." She counters. "Stop being such a prude and go with it." _Prude?_ If only she knew what my novels entailed. If only she knew what I wrote about. She would be horrified. "Look, think of it as my celebration to you for the launch of your book."

"Thanks but I really don't want to go to a strip club."

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "Think of all the hot women."

"Yeah…and think of the reason why they are doing it." I scoff. "They don't all want to be there you know, Teddy? They don't all _choose_ to do what they do for the fun of it."

"So…we'll figure out which ones are doing it for a career and go from there." She shrugs. "Come on, just try it. Give it a little time. If you really don't like it, we will leave, okay?"

"Fine." I sigh. Dragging my feet as we make our way down a street I'm not familiar with, I come to stop outside a dark building and honestly, I hate this. Why would anyone want to watch women dance around a pole because it's the only choice they have right now? I mean, sure…some do it because they want to, but some don't. It just doesn't sit well with me. It's making me feel uncomfortable just standing outside this building. Dropping my gaze, we head inside and Teddy pulls me towards the bar. "Just a water for me, thanks." I smile and she wrinkles her nose a little. "What?"

"Why the _hell_ are you drinking water?"

"Because I feel bad enough being here, Teddy. I don't need alcohol to play with me even more tomorrow morning when I regret my life choices." I shake my head. "I just…a water will be fine, thanks." Glancing up, my eyes take in the decor around me and I'm pleasantly surprised. This place is amazing, and not seedy at all. Nothing about this venue would even indicate that women are being exploited. I hope they aren't, and this isn't your average slime ball dive, but I'm still not too sure about this place. Maybe after a little while here I'll feel a little more comfortable, but right now…I'm undecided. This club is filled with beautiful women, and honestly…they look anything but sad and desperate for a little cash. They look like they are well looked after. They look thrilled to be here. _Maybe I was wrong about this._

Brought out of my thoughts by a nudge in the side, I turn my attention back to Teddy and she has two bottles of wine in her hands. "Water my ass." Giving me a knowing look, she points to an empty area and I follow her through the growing crowd of men and women. "Come on, I may or may not have booked us a VIP section."

"You mean you had this planned all along?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Maybe." Shrugging, she rounds the table and drops down onto the expensive leather couch. "Sit back and relax, Arizona. You deserve this…and you definitely need this." She winks. "Just let your hair down. Stop feeling bad."

"But-"

"But nothing." She cuts me off. "Did you really think I'd take you to some back street bar?"

"I guess not." I smile as I pour us both a glass of wine.

"My best friend only deserves the best." She smirks. "Maybe I have a little something else planned for you this evening…" She trails off.

"Like what?" I furrow my brow. "I think you've excelled yourself tonight, Teddy."

"Oh." She raises an eyebrow. "So, you _are_ enjoying yourself?" Swallowing hard when a gorgeous blonde grips the pole in front of us, I give her a slight nod and my eyes fix on this beautiful woman. She's not my kind of woman, but I'll take what I can get right now. Too much fake boob going on for my liking. I like my women natural. I like my women exactly how they were created. This, though, this is a welcome change from sitting at home on a Friday night. I won't lie. "Mm…thought as much." She laughs. "Enjoy the show, Arizona…you've worked your ass off this past year, and I'm proud of you."

"Mmhmm…" I nod. "Dinner would have sufficed, though…just for the record."

"Whatever. Dinner can be eaten whenever." She states. "This is so much more fun."

"You know…" My mouth falling open slightly when the blonde in front of us bends over, I clear my throat and smile. "…I think you could be right."

My eyes fixed on the mesmerizing view this enticing blonde is providing me with, I sit back in my seat and take my glass of white between my teeth. If I don't I'll smile way harder than I should. My eyes could burn through this woman right now given half the chance, but I know…no touching. No touching, only looking. Looking is good enough for me right now, though. Looking will provide me with some hot dreams tonight when I climb into bed alone.

A little saddened when the blonde disappears from in front of me, I narrow my eyes and internally criticise the guys on the other side of the stage who have just called her over. Checking out what else is on offer, I catch sight of a brunette who is walking our way. She has her eye on me, and honestly…she's all kinds of hot. The blonde was hot, but this woman? Wow. Out of this world. "Whoa…" I breathe out.

"Mmhmm…" Teddy agrees. "And, she's all yours for the next thirty minutes."

"Excuse me?" I almost spit my wine all over me. "Did you just…No! No way, Teddy."

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "Go and have a little fun, Arizona. Jeez, you are so uptight lately."

"You're telling me you have set up a private dance from this woman?" I ask, my tone low as she is about to reach the pole the blonde has just had her body all over. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, and it cost me a small fortune, so…"

"So, get a refund." I shake my head. It's one thing to be sitting here and watching these women, but a private dance? No. That is crossing one very very fine line. A line I would never cross. Whilst I'm out here with everyone else, I'm not exploiting this gorgeous woman. While I'm out here, I don't feel like a creep. "Teddy, I can't…" I drop my gaze.

"Sure you can." She winks. "I'll be right here waiting for you." She smiles. "Just keep those hands to yourself."

Being pulled up to my feet by this super hot woman in front of me, she pulls me away from the table I've been sharing with my friend and we disappear into a private room. "You know, I've been watching you since you walked into the club." Her voice low in tone, I have to take a minute to center myself. I have to take a minute to remind myself that I cannot touch this woman. She is here to dance, and that is all. "You're new here…"

"Y-Yeah." I smile. "Look, we don't have to do this," I admit. "I'll pay you, but the dance or whatever, it just…you don't have to do this."

"What if I want to?" She narrows her eyes as she pushes me down into a seat. "What if I want to dance for you?"

"I-I, uh…" Her breath washing over my ear, the scent of her shampoo sends me crazy, and right now I'm not sure I'm even breathing. "What's your name?" Surely it's appropriate to ask since this woman is now grinding down against my thigh.

"Never mind what my name is…" She flips her hair and turns her back on me. Her ass now in my lap, I've never felt the urge to touch someone as much as I do right now. "How about I just give you what you want."

"S-Sure." I swallow hard. Turning once again, I look deep into her eyes and furrow my brow. Why do I feel like I know this woman? Why do I feel like we've met before? I want to tell her that she has beautiful eyes, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear it. I'm pretty sure she doesn't care, either. My breath hitching as her breasts press against my own, I close my eyes and allow this woman to make me feel amazing without even truly touching me. I know it's been a while since I've had another woman in my bed, but I'm throbbing right now. I know I shouldn't be and I know that me being here is just all kinds of wrong, but I'm struggling to pull myself away from her right now. I'm struggling with everything since she is making me feel so damn good.

I'm the romantic kind, but this woman is making me want to just drag her back to my place and have my way with her right now. I know it will never happen, but maybe this isn't going to be my only experience in this place. Maybe I'll come back again. If only to see her. I feel like I know her, but I've never been to a strip club before so I doubt it. She doesn't look like the kind of woman I'd have ever hung out with before, but there have been a few. Maybe too many to remember.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. This fic may not be to everybody's taste, but if those of you who are willing to read this want some more, let me know. Since I'm about to wrap up two fics, I figured I'd get going on my list of ideas….**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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I can't believe the woman from the coffee shop came to the club a few nights ago. I knew I shouldn't have taken on a second job. I knew I should have just stuck to what I know. I mean, I don't need the money. I'm making a ton at the club, but I just wanted something a little less sexual and a little more normal for my weekdays. I wanted something that I could use when people ask me what I do. The word stripper doesn't often go down well during conversations, and even though I'm not embarrassed about what I do…it does prevent me from getting to know people a little better. It does prevent me from finding a girlfriend or someone who I can share my weeknights with. I love my job at the club, I really do…I just thought it would be a good idea to have a little downtime in a peaceful setting during the week. I only work the club Friday and Saturday, but the money I make is enough for me to live off. More than enough, actually. Maybe I should ditch my job through the week. Once she tells people who I am and what I do, I'll probably be asked to leave anyway. Once people know I'm a stripper, they won't want me serving them and their kids during lunch. I know exactly how it goes. They're not offended by it until they are faced with it. It doesn't bother them so long as my hands aren't on their food or drink. _If only people knew the life I lived and who I am, huh?_

I appreciate that she acted stupid when she realized who I was, but I'd sooner she just made it known that she recognized me. I mean, surely she did. Surely she knew who I was when I was grinding down in her lap. Surely she saw who I was and that's why she asked my name. I don't know and I hope I don't see her again when she seeks out some good coffee. I'd like to think that she doesn't come here often, but she seems like the type to sit around all day tending to her business. She seems like one of those who spends their lives on their devices and nobody else gets any of her attention.

Honestly, I'm a little disappointed that she turned up at the club. I thought she was kinda hot when I met her in here, but now that I know that she enjoys the private dances and the main events…I think I'll steer clear. I didn't make conversation with her for nothing. I didn't bring her a little something extra for the sake of it. I guess I just wanted her to see me. I guess I wanted to be noticed. She has the most adorable smile, but I didn't see that from her at the club. I didn't see the kindness in her eyes as I was removing my bra for her. She just...I don't know. She looked like all the others I dance for. The men and the women. Everyone comes to the club for their own reasons, and I guess the blonde isn't any different. Maybe she's having problems at home...I don't know. Maybe she is struggling in her personal _or_ professional life and she needs some kind of escape. It's usually why I'm paid $400 for a thirty-minute session with a stranger off the street. It's usually why they watch me make them feel good.

 _I just thought she was different._

Glancing up from the cup I've been drying for what seems like forever, I find that face in the queue of people waiting to be served. I find that blonde hair sitting perfectly around that gorgeous face. Dropping my gaze, I toy with the cup in my hand and think about helping my colleague out. I really don't want to, but I can see him struggling with the demand for coffee right now. Releasing a deep breath, I decide to get this over with now. I decide that it's better to get that look of disgust from her sooner rather than later. Why wait around?

The queue getting smaller with each other, the unknown blonde steps further forward and I find her standing in front of me. "Hey, what can I get you?" _Maybe I'll play stupid for a little while._

"Cappuccino." She smiles, her eyes fixed firmly on my own. I can see her trying to figure me out, but I don't think she recognizes me. How can she not recognize me? I mean, I guess I do look a little different without all that makeup on, and clothes, of course…but still, I expected her to know exactly who I was. I don't know if I'm relieved or offended right now. Handing over a twenty dollar bill, I give her a smile and place her order. Handing over her change, she shakes her head a little and drops her gaze. "Thank you."

"What's your name?" I ask.

"Excuse me?" Her brow furrowed, I realize I've just asked her the same thing she asked me when I was grinding down in her lap.

"F-For your order…" I stutter.

"Oh, right." She gives me a slightly nervous laugh. "Arizona."

"Your order will be with you in a few minutes, Arizona." Giving me a nod, she steps away from the counter and I sense a slight blush creeping up her face. _She genuinely has no idea who I am. Wow!_

Wait…Arizona? My mind working overtime, I'm trying to place her name but I'm at a loss right now. Arizona isn't a common name, that's for sure. I don't imagine there are many in New York. Watching her walk away with her order, she takes a seat in her usual spot and pulls out her MacBook. _Oh my god…_ I gave a writer a lap dance. I don't even know what to feel about that.

I mean, her novel has kept me in a different world since I read it, and I'm already on my second time around. Like, I cannot put that book down. I just can't. _Oh god, this is embarrassing._ I've never been worried about my weekend job before, but right now…I'm mortified. I mean, it may not even be her, but I think it is. It's why she was so nonchalant on Friday when I suggested she read the book. _Way to go, Minnick. Asshole._

Rounding the counter, I slowly approach her as she is powering up her laptop. What do I even say to her? _Hey, remember me? The stripper who made you wet a few nights ago…_ Ugh, this isn't good. Maybe it _is_ a good thing, though. She won't want her fans to know that she was at a strip club, so maybe she won't out me. "Hey, um…sorry to bother you, again." I smile as I step up behind her and she glances up at me.

"Oh, it's no problem." Her eyes finding mine, she turns in her seat a little. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, yeah." _She still doesn't recognize me._ "Are you, uh, are you her?" Pointing down at her copy of the book I've been reading, she gives me a smile and a slight nod.

"That is me, yes."

"Wow, awesome book." I take a seat beside her and she furrows her brow. "Oh, sorry." Standing, I back up a little. "I'm sure you're very busy. I, um…just let me know if I can get you anything else."

"Thanks, uh…" Holding out her hand, she's waiting for a name.

"Eliza." I give her a genuine smile and take her hand in my own. They're just as soft as I remember them being. "Great to meet you, anyway."

"You know, it would be kinda nice if you wanted to join me for coffee when you are on your break…" Studying my face, I don't want her to recognize me anymore. I mean, I never did, but I was offended earlier. Now I just want this woman to see me as I am now and never how she saw me on Friday night ever again. "If you're not busy."

"Sure. That would be great." Checking the time, I have a little while before I'm due my break but if she is still here later, I'm totally taking her up on that coffee. "I have an hour before I'm due to take five."

"Then I will see you in an hour." She smiles.

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Grabbing the two coffees I've just ordered, I make my way back to Arizona's table and give myself a moment to compose myself. I've never really been drawn in by anyone before, but she has something about her. I know I accused her of being like the rest of them when I saw her this morning, but she's not. At least, I don't think she is. She seems to be quiet and closed off, and that is not what I saw the other night. Sure, she offered to pay me even without a dance, but she was still at a strip club. She was still in that private room with me. She didn't seem comfortable there, but she also didn't stop me from dancing on her once I got going. Once she was in the mood, she was more than willing to stare at my ass and yeah, when my bra came off, I saw her eyes darken. Just like I see time and time again in the club. That doesn't mean we can't be friends, though. I wouldn't expect anything else with her. Why would she ever want to date a stripper?

Setting the cups down to the side of her work, she glances my way and gives me a genuine smile. "Hey."

"I wasn't sure you would still be here," I reply as I sit down beside her. Her perfume is a little intoxicating, but I have to keep it in my mind that Arizona is nothing to me right now. One day a friend, maybe, but that's where it ends. I'd never put someone through that uncertainty that seems to follow strippers around. I'd never expect anyone to understand or be accepting of my job. Never.

"I spend most of my time here." She shrugs. "Thanks for the refill."

"No problem." I smile. "Do you think maybe I could get my copy signed if I bring it by?"

"I don't see why not." She laughs. "Have to keep my fans happy somehow." Throwing me a wink, I can't help but feel like she is flirting with me. I'm all for a little flirtatious behavior, but I don't want to get my hopes up here. I don't want anything to come of this for it to fall apart when Arizona actually realizes who I am. Because she will. One day she will remember or she will see me in my other job and then it will all fall apart. "So, how long have you been here?"

"Only a few weeks." I smile as I take my coffee in my hands. "Do you live local?"

"I do, yeah. Just a few blocks away." She states. "What brought you to New York?" Turning in her seat, she slips her glasses from her eyes and I'm seeing her fully right now. Not in her aroused state. Not in her tired state. Just…as she is. Refreshed.

"Just felt like a change." Sipping on my coffee I can see that she is trying to figure me out again, but I'm trying not to give her anything.

"You know, I feel like I've seen you before." She tilts her head a little. "I just don't know where."

"You saw me on Friday." I laugh. "I-In here. I offered you a refill and brought you a muffin."

"No, I feel like I've seen you elsewhere." Shaking her head, she gives me a slight shrug. "Clearly not, though, since you aren't even from New York."

"Yeah." I sigh. "Guess I just have one of those faces."

"What faces?"

"Familiar," I state.

"Mm…" She sets her coffee down. "Beautiful, yes…familiar, no." _Whoa, not what I was expecting her to say._ "Look, um…I know this may be a little bit bold of me, but would you like to grab a drink one evening?"

"Oh, I-I."

"Sorry, forget I said that." She waves off her question. "I'm sure you have someone at home waiting for you."

"Actually, I don't." I smile. "I'm just not sure I'm free."

"Right." She gives me a sad smile. "You know, I'm not offended that you don't want to have a drink with me."

"N-No, it's not like that." I try to defend myself but how can I without telling her my reasons for turning her down. "I'm just not looking to date anyone right now."

"That's okay." She places her hand over my own and my stomach unexpectedly flips. "I'm sure I'll be lucky enough to grab coffee with you again sometime soon."

"Y-Yeah, of course." I agree. "I'd love that." _God, she is breaking my heart right now._ Like, do I tell her why and hope that she doesn't back off, or do I just do this with her? The coffee, the small talk? Do I just remain friendly?

"Great." She gives me a smile but it doesn't quite reach as wide as I'd like. It's not as big as I've seen from her before. "Don't forget to bring your book by."

"I won't." I sit back in my seat and sip on my coffee. "You know why I chose to work in a coffee shop?"

"Why?"

"I love watching people. I love studying them and figuring out who they are. Like, some people I watch from the moment they walk in here."

"What did you just say?" She furrows her brow. "About watching people?"

"Whoa, I'm not some stalker." I hold up my hands.

"N-No, I just…I swear I've heard that somewhere before." _Fuck!_ I said that to her on Friday night. "God, I don't know what is wrong with me lately." She laughs. "Just pay no attention to my weird behavior, okay? I'm having a bad time with my next novel and I think it's sending me a little crazy."

"Hey, don't worry about it." I give her an awkward smile. "Look, I should really get back to work but it was great talking with you."

"Yeah, you too." She gives me a smile and my stomach flips again. "Take care, Eliza." Hearing her say my name how she does is making me feel all of the things I shouldn't be feeling right now. I mean, I know I was straddling this woman just a few days ago, but that's not why I'm attracted to her. I've straddled many many women during my life as a stripper, and I've never had this reaction to any of them. Not a single one. I know I cannot mix business with pleasure, and I know that I cannot act on how I'm feeling. It's strictly forbidden in my line of work and honestly…it's probably a good thing.

I've come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never have a real relationship whilst I do what I do, but the money is far too good to pass up on right now. Anywhere else and I'd have thought about leaving it all behind, but this is New York City, and you need the money to keep you going here. I don't want to live on my last dime, so that job is staying. Maybe I'm being foolish and I should just be honest with the gorgeous writer that seems to be in my workplace every day, but I'm scared. I'm scared that she won't even accept me as a friend.

I'll always maintain that my job is awesome, and honestly…it really is, but meeting Arizona has made me feel a little differently. Not about my job, but about the possibilities I'm missing out on because of the reaction I tend to receive. Maybe when I know her a little better I can open up more, but for now…she is the writer and I'm the barista. There really is nothing more to it.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. I didn't expect the reaction I got to the first chapter, but I'm glad you guys are on board so far.**

 **Hit review. If you want…**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

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I finally feel like I'm getting someone with the next installment of my novel. I decided I'd continue the story with the possibility of turning it into a series. It's not something I've thought about before, but my publisher has given me the go ahead, and since then, I've been on fire. I've only been to the coffee shop once since I was blown off by Eliza, but it's not because I don't want to see her. Far from it, actually. I _really_ want to see her. I want to get to know her a little better. The problem is, I don't do friendships when I like someone as much as I like her. I'd love to be her friend, but I know eventually I'd want more. I'd want more and she has already told me that she isn't looking for a relationship. I promised myself I'd stay single for a little while since my heart was last broken, and I feel that a year is probably a suitable amount of time to stick to that promise. Honestly, I hate being alone. I've always hated being alone. That doesn't mean I fall into relationships like it's the end of the world, though. That doesn't mean I fall head over heels for the first woman I meet. Eliza has something about her, though. Intriguing, shall we say?

I mean, I've only really spoken to her properly on one occasion, but I feel like in that time we had some sort of connection. I did, anyway. I felt something there between us. She doesn't seem heartbroken or working through anything, so I guess she just genuinely isn't looking for a relationship. Some people don't want that, though, and I have to accept that. Some people want the easy life. Maybe I should take a leaf out of Eliza's book. Maybe I should just settle for being happy alone right now. I know I'm not, but I can try, right?

Settled back in my seat, it's a Wednesday night, and I'm alone in a bar drinking. Usually, I'd stay home, but I've spent so much time at home writing lately that I just felt the need to get out for a little while. I called Teddy when I arrived here expecting her to jump at the chance to join me, but she is out on a date with some guy she has gotten in contact with from high school, so I don't expect to see her at any point tonight. She said if the date didn't go well she would join me to drown her sorrows, but from what I know, they had quite the thing a few years back and I expect she is planning to rekindle that pretty soon. She's like me in terms of wanting to settle down, but she is more open and willing than I am. She is more likely to put herself out there and be seen. Me, not so much. I know I'm attractive and I know I have a lot to give, but I'm a writer and writers tend to keep themselves to themselves. They tend to block out the world and concentrate on the words in front of them. The words swirling around in their heads. I'm okay with that, though. By being that way, I'm less likely to get hurt.

Motioning for another drink, the bartender heads my way with a bottle of tequila and places a shot down in front of me. Sliding a rum my way, I give him a thankful smile and turn back in my seat facing the crowd of people building. It's a quiet bar, but I like the quiet life. I'm not here to find someone…I'm just here to relax and enjoy a night to myself. _Yeah, because you don't have enough nights to yourself already._ Grabbing my cell from my purse, I glance at the screen and find nothing from Teddy.

 ** _How's the date going? Az x_**

 ** _Terrible. I think I'll be joining you after all. T x_**

 ** _Sorry to hear that. You know I love you anyway. Az x_**

 ** _I know you do. I can't scream your name though so you are kinda useless right now. T x_**

 ** _Oh, thanks. Az x_**

Shaking my head and laughing, I knock back my shot and catch sight of a familiar brunette heading for the bar. Turning in my seat as she approaches, I sip on my rum and play the oblivious game. I've been trying to avoid this woman all week and to be honest, it's been harder than I thought. It doesn't help that she works at my favorite coffee house, but I managed to avoid her and change venues when absolutely necessary. That happened to be three times last week. "Arizona?" Her voice causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end, I turn slightly in my seat and set my drink down on the bar. "Great to see you." She smiles as she leans against the hardwood that will probably be propping me up later on tonight.

"Yeah, you too." I give her my best smile but it's fake. "How are you?"

"Okay, thank you." She shrugs. "Haven't seen you around lately. Everything okay?"

"Sure." _If you call me thinking about you every minute of the day okay, then we will go with that._ "Just been busy writing."

"Oh, you write at the coffee shop, no?"

"Change of venue." I smile. "Needed a change of scenery to get my mind going."

"That sucks." She sighs as she turns to face the bar. "Could have used your company. The place has been pretty quiet lately."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "I've resorted to spending my time at seedy venues with my best friend so I'm sure you wouldn't want my company."

"Seedy venues?" She questions.

"Mm…" Giving her a slight nod, that shot had gone right to my head and I can feel the rum I'm sipping on quickly following suit. "My life is so boring that I spent one weekend in a strip club, so?"

"What's seedy about a strip club?" She scoffs. "If it's what you're into, that's your own business."

"But I'm not into it." I laugh. "Do I look like the kind of person that wants to be danced on by a stripper?" Don't get me wrong, she was hot, but when I woke up the following day, I felt awful. I felt awful for ever going there and spending my money in a place like that. Isn't that just encouraging those places by handing over my cash?

"I-I, uh…" Shaking her head, she gives me a look I don't quite recognize and drops her gaze. "I guess not."

"Exactly." Knocking back my drink, I motion for another. "Can I get you a drink?" Frozen in her spot, she shakes her head a little and I smile. "That's right, you've already blown me off."

"Arizona…" She breathes out. "I didn't want to turn you down. It's just…"

"You aren't looking right now." I finish her sentence for her. "And that's okay."

"Really? Because it doesn't sound like it's okay." She raises her eyebrow and I simply shrug. "I want to be your friend, okay?"

"OH, MY GOD! Get me a God damn drink before I climb that bar." Teddy coming up behind me and wrapping her arms around my neck, Eliza gives me a smile and turns away from me.

"Hey, Teddy." Turning to face her, she recognizes the look on my face and her eyes widen.

"Oh…my bad." She laughs. "You were a little busy just then, huh?"

"No, Eliza works at the coffee house I usually spend the day at." My barista turns to face us both and holds out her hand to my best friend.

"Um…Adria, right?" Teddy furrows her brow and I'm lost right now. "Fro-"

"No, it's Eliza." She cuts off my friend and I watch their interaction. "Nice to meet you." Releasing her hand, the brunette turns away and grabs her drink from the bar. "Enjoy your night, Ladies."

Watching her walk away, Teddy's eyes are fixed firmly on her back and I nudge her, pulling her away from whatever thoughts she is having right now. "What's up?" I ask.

"N-Nothing." She gives me a small smile. "I could have sworn she was someone else."

"Well, whoever she is…she doesn't want to date me." I laugh.

"Just…can you excuse me for a minute? I need to use the bathroom." Walking away before I've even had the chance to respond, I shrug and turn my attention back to my drink. It was good seeing Eliza tonight, but it's only made me want to know her more.

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ELIZA'S POV

Washing my hands, I grab some paper towels and dry them off whilst checking myself out in the mirror. I'm looking pretty hot tonight, but it's for myself that I chose to look this way. I certainly didn't expect to see Arizona, that's for sure. I haven't seen her in almost a week, and honestly, I thought she was avoiding me. I thought she had figured out who I was and couldn't bear to look at me. I wouldn't blame her. I mean, she probably sees me as a fraud, right? I give her my attention at the coffee shop but really I spend my weekends dancing for anyone who shows up with cash. She said it herself…it's seedy. Now that she has made her feelings known, there is no way I can ever tell her who I am. There is no way I can tell her that her best friend paid me $400 to strip almost naked for her. I just…I can't.

She's right…she doesn't seem like the type of woman who wants someone like me dancing on her, and I get the impression that she was brought to the club almost against her will. Her best friend booked me. Her best friend hung around outside. Her best friend is the one who has just recognized me. Like, if I have to come clean I will, but I'd rather spare Arizona the further embarrassment. She has always made it clear that she feels dirty for coming to the club, so no, if I can...I'm getting out of here right now before this becomes any worse than I fear it already is.

Pulling the door to the restroom open, I'm stopped when a body blocks my exit and motions for me to head back inside. "I know who you are." The dirty blonde laughs. "You're Adria." She states as she holds the door closed.

"My name is Eliza." I give her an awkward smile but she isn't stupid.

"Are you trying to get into my friends pants after I paid you a ton of money to dance for her? Isn't that some sort of rule you are breaking in your industry?"

"I'm not trying to get into her pants, so you can stop worrying." I sigh. "I'm trying to avoid her asking me out for drinks, okay?"

"Just stop being where she is." The other woman shrugs. "It can't be that hard."

"She's right, though. I _am_ her barista. She doesn't even recognize me. She doesn't know I'm _her._ "

"Well, avoid her." She laughs. "You two couldn't be any different. World apart, even."

"How the hell do you know what we are? You don't even know me." I scoff. "You've no idea who I am or what I do when I'm not at that club."

"No, you're right…and quite frankly, I don't care either." She smiles. "Look, I paid for my friend to have a good time because she was feeling down. Just stop getting so attached and move on. She's a one-off client. Nothing more." I understand where her friend is coming from, but that doesn't mean I'm not offended by her words. That doesn't mean I'm not hurt by what she has said. "Adria, Eliza…whatever your name is, I don't want you to hurt her."

"That's the thing, though…she is the one who asked me out on a date." I hold up my hands. "She is the one who wanted to know me. I didn't once pursue her. I'd thought about it, but I knew she wouldn't want to be with me when she knew who I was, so I didn't go any further. I haven't given her _anything._ "

"Good." She breathes out. "I'm sure you're a lovely person, but Arizona means the world to me and I can promise you now that the outcome wouldn't be good. Save yourself the hurt and walk away."

"Walk away from what?" I furrow my brow. "There is nothing going on between us. I can promise you that." Releasing her grip on the door, she steps away and I move around her. "I know I'm not capable of being loved. I knew that going into the industry I'm in…but that doesn't mean you can speak to me the way you just have. I may be nothing more than a stripper and in your eyes…a whore, but I'm a good person." The door closing behind me, I weave my way through the crowd and wipe away a single tear that has slipped down my face. My wrist being gripped from behind, I'm stopped in my tracks to find Arizona behind me. "Arizona, don't."

"Don't what?" She furrows her brow. "I just wanted to apologize for being kinda bitchy before."

"It's fine. I just…I have to go."

"Because of me?" She asks, worry settling on her face. "I'm so sorry…"

"No, not because of you." I give her a genuine smile. "I just shouldn't be here. Enjoy your night with your friend."

"Thanks, but um…have you seen her? She went to the bathroom and you've just come from there, so?"

"Yeah." I run my fingers through my hair. "She's in there. I'm sure she will be out in a few."

"What's going on?" The beautiful blonde asks. "She is being weird and you are being weird…"

"Maybe you should ask her." I smile. Studying my face, I don't take my eyes off of her own but I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be this close to her. "Just know that I'm sorry, okay? For whatever she may tell you…I'm sorry."

Shaking myself from her grip, I move through the crowd and head for the exit. I know Teddy will tell her who I am. I could see it in her eyes. I could hear it her voice and the disgust that radiated from her. I meant what I said, though. I know I cannot be in a relationship…no matter how much I desperately want to. I know that my line of work puts a stop to anything like that before it's even barely begun. Everyone else, I've told on the first date, but I'm so sacred to disgust Arizona, and right now that just shows that I want her. That just shows that I want something more with her. I've never been scared about my profession before, but in this moment…I am.

The more I think about the night we shared together, the more embarrassed I feel. I mean, I was so attracted to Arizona that I was actually wet. That _never_ happens when I'm dancing. I can't ever recall a moment where I've wanted anything to go any further with a client so yeah…I'm embarrassed. I allowed my feelings to get the better of me, and now I'm suffering for it. Now I'm feeling all kinds of things I've never felt for someone else, and there is nothing I can do about it. There is nothing I can make of it. I know Arizona is attracted to me, and it feels amazing knowing that, but once she has been enlightened on the situation we are about to find ourselves in, she won't find me attractive anymore. I can promise myself that right now. I could bet my home on it.

The cool New York air chilling me to the bone, I make my way up the street and prepare myself for the continued avoidance I'm about to face from the gorgeous writer I cannot get off of my mind. Teddy may have hurt me with her words, but this is all my own fault. When you feel, you open yourself up to a world full of hurt. When you feel, you allow your emotions to get the better of you and this happens. Life happens…

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Once again, thanks for the great response to the past two chapters. You're all awesome. It's certainly been some response.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Flashbacks in bold italic**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Four

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Waking from a midday nap, my head pounds like it has been for the past two days. Teddy told me everything on Wednesday night, and honestly, I don't even know how I feel about it. I mean, yeah…I'm horrified by what has happened, but I'm more concerned that I've hurt Eliza with what I said to her at the bar the other night. I made a few comments about the fact that I'd ever stepped inside a strip club, and now the reaction I received from her explains a few things. Whilst I appreciate Teddy looking out for me, I don't like what she said to Eliza. She told me what happened in the bathroom, but it isn't any of her business. Sure, in a weird way she introduced me to the brunette, but that's all. That's where her involvement ends.

I went to the coffee shop yesterday but Eliza wasn't working. Something about taking a personal day and that she would return to work next week. I'd like to think that it has nothing to do with what is going on between us but I know it does. I know she is too embarrassed to see me. I could see that in her eyes on Wednesday night. I could see the hurt she was feeling. I want to see her. I want to tell her that I don't hate her. I suspect she thinks that I do, but I don't. I don't know what I feel for her right now. I know that she could never be in a relationship with me. Not since I became her client, but I'd like to talk this through with her at least. I'd love to be her friend, and even if that was originally going to be hard, knowing what I now know makes it a little easier. Why? Because I don't think I could be in that kind of relationship. I couldn't watch her leave my place on a Friday night so she can go and dance for men and women when she could be at home with me. I just…I don't think I could do it.

I'm not offended or disgusted by it…it's just not me. It's not what I'd be comfortable with. I'm pretty sure Eliza will understand that, but any hope I had of ever becoming something more with her has just totally disappeared and it hurts a little. It hurts because if I want to see her in any capacity other than friends, I'll have to go to that club and pay for her time and attention.

Last week when I was avoiding her, I lay in bed each night thinking about kissing her. I thought about how her skin would feel against my hands. Now that I know how her skin feels, it only makes me want to touch her again. I just…I don't want it to be like this, though. I don't want to have to pay for her time so I can look at her beautiful face. I don't want her to perform for me. Some people may be into that, but I can't. It's not right. None of this is right. How did I feel when Teddy told me about Eliza and her _other_ job? Devastated. I felt absolutely devastated. Lying back on the couch, I glance up at the ceiling and close my eyes. I just want to see her. Just for five minutes.

 ** _Glancing around the bar, I find Teddy coming back from the bathroom and my heart is pounding in my ears. I've thought about calling it a night and leaving, but Eliza has worried me with what she said before leaving. She apologized for something, and now I need to know what. I need to know why Teddy has just cornered her in the bathroom. Well, I'm guessing that's what she just did._**

 ** _"Another round?" My friend asks as she steps up to the counter and gives me a smile._**

 ** _"No." I shake my head. "I want to know about Eliza."_**

 ** _"Um...you've lost me." She laughs. "I think you should be asking her about herself. I don't even know who she is."_**

 ** _"That's a lie." I scoff. "I've just spoken to her and she told me to ask you."_**

 ** _"Ask me what?"_**

 ** _"I don't know but stop playing games, Teddy, and just tell me what you know about her." Running my fingers through my hair, I drop my gaze and my best friend turns to face me fully._**

 ** _"First of all, I cannot believe you don't recognize her."_**

 ** _"Why would I recognize her? I only met her a little over a week ago at the coffee shop." I furrow my brow and honestly, I'm tired of this game now. "It was…two Fridays ago. She seemed sweet and she has a gorgeous smile…what else is there to recognize?"_**

 ** _"You are joking? Please tell me you are joking." Okay, I really am lost. What the hell is going on?_**

 ** _"Are you some sort of secret lesbian who has spent time with her?" I laugh. "That's not cool if you are doing this in secret and not even telling your best friend."_**

 ** _"No, and if I was…" She laughs. "...she certainly isn't the one I'd go for. Ugh!"_**

 ** _"Hey, that's not nice," I state. "Eliza is a beautiful woman. Don't be so bitchy."_**

 ** _"Okay, I can't do this anymore." Teddy holds her hands up between us. "You are my best friend and hell will freeze over before you get comfortable with her. I just…do you have any idea who she is?"_**

 ** _"Not really." I shrug. "We've only spoken a few times and she seems to be a fan. She loves my book."_**

 ** _"Mm...sure she does." My friend rolls her eyes and I give her a hard glare._**

 ** _"What?"_**

 ** _"You know we went to that club a couple of weeks ago? The Friday night that you are talking about meeting Eliza for the first time?" Giving her a nod, Teddy drops her gaze. "You know that privates dancer I got you? The hot brunette? The one you were virtually fucking with your eyes?"_**

 ** _"Alright, do you really have to be so graphic?" I wrinkle my nose. I'm all for having a good time, but sometimes Teddy just goes a little too far._**

 ** _"She's your dancer, Arizona." My friend sighs. "Eliza is your dancer."_**

 ** _"What?" I laugh. "No, she's not."_**

 ** _"She is. Her stripper name is Adria Jensen, and I've used her many times before. Not for my own personal use, but for women at the office. When they've needed a little pick me up, I've booked her."_**

 ** _"You're lying." I climb down from my stool. "Eliza is not that person. She would never do something like that. She works in a freaking coffee shop."_**

 ** _"Think about it, Arizona. Think about that Friday night and just remember her."_**

 ** _My heart dropping into my stomach, I realize that I knew I recognized her. Then the stuff she said at the shop about watching people from the moment they walk in…she, ugh, she said that to me when we shared coffee. Wow! "I have to go."_**

 ** _"Look, don't worry about it all. I've told her to stay away from you and she has agreed. Stop chasing her, Arizona. She's no good for you. How could she ever be? She's a stripper. She has her hands all over God knows what and you deserve better than that."_**

 ** _"Don't talk about her like that." My voice breaking a little, I step away from the bar and grab my purse. "And mind your own business, Teddy. This doesn't concern you."_**

 ** _"Wait, you want her, don't you?" Teddy scoffs. "I'm sorry but my best friend will not be laughed at because she is banging a stripper. No way."_**

 ** _"Back off!" Heading through the crowd, I need some air. I need to get outside and I need to think about everything Teddy has just said to me._**

I remember feeling hurt by Teddy's comments. Would I be laughed at for dating a stripper? Would anyone even know? I guess anyone who has been to that club will know who Eliza is. It doesn't matter if I'll be laughed at, anyway, because it's not happening. Eliza and I cannot happen. She would lose her job, and I would probably lose my mind. I have to explain that to her, though. I have to see her and explain that what she does is her own business. Not mine and not anybody else's. Especially not Teddy's.

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Standing outside the building I never thought I'd step foot in again, I take a few breaths and head inside. I know I shouldn't be here, and honestly, the thought of seeing Eliza in this setting leaves me a little nauseated but I have to do this. I have to apologize for what I said on Wednesday night. I didn't mean that I had a problem with strippers, I really don't, but she won't see it that way. She will think I was having a go at her and it really wasn't like that. I didn't even know that's who she was. She doesn't come across as someone who dances for money during weekends. She comes across as someone who relaxes with a good book and a steaming mug of hot chocolate. The hopeless romantic type. Like me.

Catching sight of one of the servers, I step up to the counter and she gives me a smile. "How can I help you, gorgeous?"

"I, uh…" Clearing my throat, I shake myself from my thoughts. "Is um… Adria working tonight?"

"Ah, you want the best, huh?" She gives me a smirk and my body shudders. _Not only is the woman I cannot get off of my mind a stripper, she's the best at this club._ "She's pretty busy tonight, but I'll see what I can do."

"T-Thanks." Giving her an awkward smile, she hits the keyboard in front of her and glances back up at me.

"How long?" She asks. _Oh god, she knows about us._

"How long what?" I furrow my brow and play stupid.

"How long did you want with her?" She replies. "She has an hour slot coming up or you can hang around a little longer and take the thirty minute one around midnight.

"I'll take the hour slot," I state. Handing over my credit card, the unknown blonde with the massive chest works her magic and books me in. Handing my card back, I give her a small smile and move away. _Now I just have to wait._ Heading for the spot Teddy and I used a couple of weeks ago, I drop down on the couch and another server heads my way.

"Can I get you something to drink, beautiful?"

"Oh, um…I'll take a rum. Straight."

"Coming right up." She throws me a wink and I drop my gaze. Glancing around the club, I find guys whistling and cheering for the women on stage but this just isn't my thing. It never will be. _God, I shouldn't be here. I really shouldn't be here._

Maybe I should leave. Maybe this was all a mistake. I mean, I don't even know what to say to Eliza when I see her, but yeah…this is completely a mistake. I don't know how long I have to wait for my uh…dance? But I'm grabbing my drink and I'm out of here. I need it just for even being at this venue. I need it for my sanity. _Ugh, that sounds awful…my dance._ I don't want her to dance for me. I want her to talk to me. I want her to just be herself. _Yeah, that ain't happening in this place._

My drink placed down in front of me, I hand over a twenty dollar bill. "Keep the change…" Toying with the glass against the table, I think this over in my head. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Eliza will see me and freak out. She will see me and do what she seems to do best. I don't know how much she loves her job, but I don't like what she does. Not like I find it abhorrent, but I don't like that she feels the need to dance for people for a little cash. _Who am I kidding…this place pays well._ Sure, it's still a very unusual decision for a profession, but she might be happy here. It might be what she's always wanted to do. I don't know. Knocking back my drink, I set my glass down and stand. _This is a bad idea._

Turning to leave, I'm stopped by a body stepping in front of me and I glance up to find Eliza staring back at me. "Why are you here?" She asks, her tone low.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah well, that's not a good idea." She whispers. "I don't think there is anything to say to each other." Stepping away, I attempt to grip her wrist but she pulls away. "I'm working. I don't have time to talk to you."

"Well, you'd better make time since I'm your next client." Her mouth falling open, I shrug my shoulders and she narrows her eyes.

"You're my 10:30?"

"Looks that way." I nod. "So, lead the way." _God, I hate this. I hate everything about this._ Moving through the venue, a guy stops Eliza and thanks her for her time. Glancing up and down his body, my stomach turns when I find a bulge in his crotch area and I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in here. I mean, at least women aren't so obvious when it comes to their arousal. Men just can't help themselves. Ugh.

Pulling back the black curtain, I step inside the same room I found myself in a couple of weeks ago and I stop dead in the middle of the floor. "Take a seat." She smiles.

"That really isn't necessary." I shake my head. "I just came to apologize for what I said to you on Wednesday night."

"What did you say?" She furrows her brow.

"About this strip club. About coming here and you dancing on me." Dropping my gaze, music fills the air and I furrow my brow. My eyes focused on the floor, black heels come into view and I glance up to find Eliza standing right in front of me. "Eliza…" I breathe out.

"Adria." She corrects me. "In here, I'm Adria."

"Right, yeah." I clear my throat. My eyes skimming her body, they find her face and she doesn't look at all like the woman I met at the coffee shop. She doesn't have that kindness in her eyes or that sense of intrigue. Her heavy eye makeup taking away everything beautiful that I've seen in her, I realize that my being here is useless. She is a totally different person to who I see through the week. I don't even know her. "Look, I'm sorry, anyway."

"No need to be sorry." She shrugs as she pushes me down against the leather couch. "It's not like I haven't heard it before." Straddling my thighs, I hold up my hands between us and she furrows her brow. "What? You paid for a dance, so you will get a dance."

"I don't want you to dance." I sigh. "I just wanted to talk."

"Well, honey…you came to the wrong place. I'm not a shrink...I'm a stripper." Grinding down in my lap, my body responds but I'm desperately trying to prevent it. I don't want to be aroused by her in this way. I want to be aroused by her beauty. Her mind. Her soft skin. Not like this. "You can touch a little, you know?"

"Stop." A pleading tone in my voice, she pulls back and gives me a sad smile, her center still grinding down against me. "I don't want to know you or see you like this."

"Then why did you pay for me?" She asks as she climbs off of me. "There are cameras in here, so a dance is all you get."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask incredulously. "Do you think I came here to sleep with you?" My heart aching when she simply shrugs, I stand and straighten myself out a little. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. I should never have come here." Maybe she is just playing to her job role right now, but I don't like it. I hate this. All of it. It is seedy and it is creepy. Nobody should be paid to dance for someone else. Nobody. I don't care how much they enjoy their job or what they are doing. I don't care how good the pay is. It's all kinds of wrong. "You may get other people who come here expecting more from you, but that's not me. I wanted to apologize and talk...nothing more."

"You are my client, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile. "That's all there is to it."

"Look, I don't know what Teddy has told you, and I don't know how hurtful she was towards you, but whatever she said…it isn't how I feel. Whatever she told you, it hasn't come directly from me."

"Teddy isn't my concern." She shrugs as she cuts the music. "She has the same opinion as you and everyone else who I meet. Just…take care, okay? If you come back, you should look for a different dancer."

"Oh, I won't be coming back," I state. "I never wanted to come here the first time around."

"But you did…" She smiles. "And you loved every minute of it."

"No, I was intrigued," I reply. "You are beautiful and hot and yeah…I was intrigued."

"Then...continue to be my client." She raises an eyebrow.

"I can't." I drop my gaze. "I can't be here with you like this. It's not right."

"But it's who I am." She states as she cuts the music. "I don't expect anything from you outside of this place, Arizona. I can see how you are looking at me right now and it disgusts you, doesn't it? Me doing this disgusts you."

"No, it doesn't." I defend. "I just can't do this. It's not me."

"Well…" She breathes out. "I guess there is really nothing more to say."

"I, um…I should go." I throw my thumb over my shoulder and pull back the curtain. "Be careful, okay? Stay safe." Those words breaking my heart as I leave the private room, I glance back and find Eliza watching me walk away. God, I wanted to date her so much, but it can never happen. It will never happen. This is all far too much for me. Knowing that she is here doing this would kill me inside, so no, she's right…she shouldn't expect anything from me outside of here.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews have been awesome and motivation to say the least. Hit review and I'll try and get more out to you ASAP.**

 **Also, don't worry about can't let go. It will be updated. I'm just working on closing two others whilst updating this right now. Give me a couple of days. I appreciate all of you who have taken the time to read and review. It means the world. Xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Five

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ELIZA'S POV

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It's been a strange weekend. One where I didn't know what to do with myself when I wasn't working, and at times…even when I was working. I mean, Arizona turning up at the club threw me a little but I think everything that needs to be said has been said. I think we have both established that we should just avoid each other. It's easier that way. It sucks, yeah, but it's easier. She is here at the coffee shop this morning but she has changed her usual choice of seating. She's hidden away in the corner, and I know she is trying to avoid eye contact with me. I've caught her looking my way more than once, but I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to her. What do you say to the woman you have feelings for but cant act on them? What do you say to the woman who paid $800 to talk to you a few nights ago? I'm glad she decided against becoming a regular client. I don't think I could have gone through with it. I don't think I could dance for her each weekend and watch her walk away every time. I don't think I could bear to only see her in that capacity…so, it's better if we don't see each other at all. I know I've managed to hide it so far, but I'm so attracted to her that its a little weird for me. I mean, I don't get attached in my job, but I met her before she came to the club. That very same day in here. If only she hadn't come by that night, this could have all been so different. Sure, I would have had to lie about my weekends, but still…I'd be able to sit and share coffee with her right now. It's better than nothing, right? It's better than this heartbreak I'm putting myself through.

Glancing up from behind the counter once again, I find Arizona smiling…and it's not because of me. No, she has suddenly been joined by another woman. One who is sitting very close to her. One who looks very cozy. My head dropping on my shoulders a little, I move around and fix up coffee for the people who need a little caffeine relief. I could use some myself right now, but I don't really want to sit on the other side of the counter. Doing that will only make me look like I want her attention. Even if I do, I cant have it. I cant have it because she has already made it clear that she couldn't see me outside of the club, and I'm not willing to give up my job. It's a lose-lose situation, and it's my own fault. Placing some orders down on the far end of the counter, I move back to the cash register and a familiar face appears in front of me. "What can I get you?" I ask the dirty blonde.

"Latte." She states as she clears her throat.

"Name?" She raises her eyebrow and I shrug. "What?"

"You know my name…" She scoffs. "Teddy."

"Thanks. Your order will be with you in a few minutes, Teddy." Giving her a fake smile, she moves down the counter and I step up behind the coffee machine.

"You know, it's kinda desperate you working here. She has no interest in you."

"Excuse me?" I stop my movements and furrow my brow. "I was working here before I knew Arizona."

"Sure you were." She laughs. "I've never seen you here before."

"And I've never seen you here, either, so I guess you should just keep your opinions to yourself, huh?" Giving her a knowing look, she drops her gaze and I finish preparing her coffee. "You don't mind my hands being on your beverage, do you? Just…we are a little short staffed today, so you will have to make do with me whether you like it or not."

"So long as your hands aren't on my best friend, I don't care where they are." She spits. "And that woman sitting with her? It's her date, so…you know?"

"I know what?" I ask.

"Stay away from her." She smiles as I set down her coffee on the counter in front of her.

"I have no interest in Arizona, but maybe you want to ask her to stay away from the club." I smile. _Low blow._ I know I'm just being bitchy now, but I'm trying to defend myself against this woman and honestly, she's a little intimidating. I'm not often intimidated, and certainly not by women, but she just has something about her that worries me. Like, she could blurt out who I am at any given moment and there isn't a thing I could do about it.

"She's been back to the club?" She asks, her eyebrow raised.

"Yup." Shrugging, I move away from this woman who is quickly becoming a pain in my ass and serve my next customer. Watching as Teddy takes a seat away from her best friend, I can see the wheels turning in her head, but it's not my problem. She may think that I'm the one who is the bad guy in all of this but I'm really not. I go to work, I earn my money, and I go home. That's about as exciting as my life is. It's about as exciting as it has been for some years now. The main aim of today is to finish my shift and get out of here as soon as I possibly can. Away from that freaking woman, and away from Arizona and her date. _God, I wish I could date her._

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Thirty minutes left of my shift, I'm called from out back by a colleague who needs a hand, so I drop what I'm doing and head for the front of the coffee shop. Stepping up to the cash register, it's the mid-afternoon rush that we usually have on, and it makes me smile. I like the busy atmosphere this place sometimes provides. I love to see people coming and going and their lives genuinely interest me. I mean, people are the most interesting, after all, right? Something about them just makes me tick. I guess it's one of the reasons I love my job at the club. Different people coming into my life every weekend keeps things interesting. Sure, I don't know any of them, and I will never have a personal connection with them, but they are there for one reason or another. They are there because they need the escape. The thrill. The total opposite to how they usually live their lives.

Placing order after order, I glance up to find those blue eyes I cannot get out of my head staring back at me. "What can I get you?"

"Cappuccino, to go." Her voice void of any emotion, I hit her order into the register and she hands over some cash. A piece of card dropping to the floor, I glance down at my feet and find her business card looking back at me. "Keep the change, and please…meet me for a drink tonight?" Her eyes begging for my attention, I crouch down and pick up the card. "You don't have to, and you don't have to decide right now, but at least text me with a yes or no later tonight."

"Arizona, I-"

"It doesn't mean anything, Eliza." She rolls her eyes. "It's just a drink." Moving away from the counter, I can see her trying to keep her eyes in front of her, but I want to see them. I need to see them. I know we cannot be together, but every time she is near me, I feel different. I feel amazing. My life is pretty damn good, anyway, but she makes it just that little bit better. Even at the club a few nights ago when I totally dismissed anything she had to say to me, deep down I could feel her apology. Deep down I could feel that desperate need to pull her into my arms and hold her tight. That isn't a part of the plan, though, and I recognized that when she was in that room with me. I recognized that she shouldn't be there talking, so I acted like I didn't care. I had to. I couldn't show her any emotion…not in that setting. She had made it clear that she couldn't bear to see me there, so what good would me and my emotions have done if I'd allowed her to talk?

I don't know if meeting up is a good idea, but I'm seriously swaying towards taking her up on her offer. We both know it doesn't mean anything, so we should both be able to sit at a bar together, right? I mean, she must want to speak to me about something. Rounding the counter, I approach her table which is now empty, except for the blonde, and clear my throat. "Is, uh…is seven okay?"

"Seven works for me…" She gives me a nod in agreement.

"Okay, well…um, where?" I ask, a little nervously.

"Same place I was at last week?" Raising an eyebrow, I take a step back and give her a nod before turning on my heel and heading back to finish my shift. I don't know what the night ahead holds for either of us, but I hope we can completely clear the air. I hope we can come to some sort of agreement…one which ends in us being friends.

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ARIZONA'S POV

I don't know why Eliza has agreed to meet me tonight. I really don't. Sure, I was the one who asked her here, but I expected her to say no. I expected her to laugh at me and walk away. I don't even know why I've invited her for a drink, but I guess I just needed to see her. Talk to her. I guess I just need something from her, and I'm not even sure what that something is. I just enjoy her company I guess. I won't lie, I've missed her. Not missed her because I want or need her, but I've missed her being in my space. I've missed her smile. Not the one I saw at the club, no…the one I saw when she first brought me coffee. The one I saw when she was walking my way in this very same bar last week. The one that caught my eye. That's what I miss. That's the kind of Eliza I want to spend my time with. I know that we can't be anything more than friends, and I know that even that is a push after what she believes I think of her, but I'd like to be her friend. I'd like to enjoy coffee with her when she is taking her break from work. I'd like to enjoy her company when my head is full of thoughts of my book.

Catching sight of the woman I'm here to meet coming through the door, my breath catches in my throat as her gorgeous long hair flows down her back. A smile on her face as someone acknowledges her, I can't help but run my eyes up and down her body. The most amazing black skinny jeans hugging her lower half, her heels make her ass look amazing. _I know she has a great ass._ Yeah, I do. Even though I hate that I know it, I won't lie…it's an amazing ass. A deep blue blouse covering her gorgeous upper body, it's complete with a black blazer and yeah…I hate that we can't go any further. She is the very definition of beauty. She is the very definition of the woman I want on my arm. _Gorgeous._

"Hey…" She gives me an awkward smile as she takes a seat opposite me. "Been here long?"

"Few minutes." I smile. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Oh, just a water for me, thanks." She sets her purse down and sits back in her seat, her legs now crossed. "I don't drink if I can help it."

"Oh, okay." I furrow my brow.

"Don't worry." She waves me off. "I don't have an addiction to go with my slutty job."

"T-That's not what I was thinking," I state. "I just didn't expect you to say water."

"I look after my body, Arizona." Leaning forward, she places her elbow on the table and rests her head in her hand. "Alcohol does _nothing_ for the body or my figure."

"Right." I give her a nod. "I'll just be a minute." Standing, I head for the bar and glance back to find the brunette looking around. I don't want there to always be a smart ass comment during our conversations, but I guess it's my own fault. She knows I don't approve of her job, but that doesn't mean that I think she is a slut or disgusting. It's just not a profession I would choose. It's not a profession I ever imagined her doing. It's not my business, though, and I know it never will be. If her job makes her happy, then that is all that matters.

Heading back to our table with two glasses of water, I set Eliza's down in front of her and return to my seat. Sitting back, I you with my glass and I can feel her eyes on me. "Why have you asked me here?" She breaks our silence.

"Because I need you to understand that I don't think any of those things about you, Eliza. I don't think you are a slut or anything of the sort." Her eyes still on my own, she studies my face but remains silent. "I know I apologized the other night, but I want to apologize to the real you."

"That was the real me." She scoffs.

"No, it wasn't." I give her a sad smile. "This is the real you. This is the you I'm attracted to."

"You're not attracted to me, Arizona. You are attracted to what you saw in the club. You are attracted to the idea of me bringing it home with me, and I don't. Once I step out of that club, I go home and I settle down."

"You think I'm attracted to you dancing on me?" I raise an eyebrow. "You really think that?"

"Yeah, I do." She admits as she gives me a slight nod. "You didn't bat an eyelid when you first met me at the coffee shop, but since then, you've asked me out for drinks on more than one occasion. You are attracted to the hot side of me, but I'm far from that. I'm far from the life you think that I lead."

"So, why do you do it?" I ask, genuinely interested.

"Because I love it." She shrugs. "I've always loved dancing. It's not only how you see it. It isn't just private dances and strips. We are a family. We are looked after. Very well paid."

"So, it is dancing and stripping…just good pay?"

"No." She shakes her head. "There are shows and performances. It's no secret that I'm the best in New York, Arizona, and I didn't get there by slacking. I have a rigorous workout regime. I eat healthily. I look after my body. I'm at the gym every morning at 6:30 am, and I run Central Park twice a day."

"Wow." I breathe out. _Maybe I have been a little quick to judge her._ I still don't like the private dancing, but she is a performer. I understand that now. It isn't about sex and money. It's about doing something that she loves. Something that she works hard for.

"That's the reason I moved here." She shrugs as she sips on her water. "I worked at their sister club in California, but the guy who owns the whole empire is based here in New York. He personally asked for me when he came to Cali and saw what I could offer. The private dancing is just a part of it. I only work the weekends because it's the only time I need to work. It's when the place is at its fullest."

"Sounds interesting, and you should be very proud of yourself." I smile.

"I am proud of myself…my family, too." She states. "I'm a performer, Arizona, not a hooker. I know that is what you think I am, but I'm not. I'm a good person. I love my friends and family and I support them in any way I can. I'm not a bad person, and I'm certainly not someone who takes people into private rooms and gets down and dirty with them. I respect myself, I respect my body, and I respect my clients. You included."

"I'm not your client." I sigh as I drop my gaze. "I never wanted to be your client…and I don't think you are a hooker."

"Then why come to the club?" She asks. It's a fair question.

"Teddy is always trying to hook me up. I'm always too busy with my writing or too disheartened to be bothered trying, so she is the one who takes charge. She just decided to change it up a little. Instead of trying to find me a lay, she figured it would be a good idea to go to your club. I didn't know where we were going until we were outside the place. I just…I didn't want to be there, but she said it would be fun. I was just tired of sitting home alone."

"So, you came inside." She smiles.

"Yeah." I nod. "It wasn't my thing, but then I saw how people were really enjoying themselves and I thought, you know…what's the worst that could happen."

"That's what they all say when they walk through the door for the first time." Her smile growing a little wider, I can't help but mirror it with my own. She is very intriguing, and I'm glad she agreed to come here tonight. It's been an eye opener, and I don't feel as bad as I did before now knowing what I know. "You know, there is nothing wrong with going to a strip club, Arizona. It's also nobody else's business."

"I know that." I agree. "I just…I wish I hadn't met you there." I admit. "I wish my first encounter with you wasn't whilst you were dancing in my lap."

"But you'd have found out who I was eventually, so why not see that for yourself before anyone else had told you? Teddy knows exactly who I am, so she would have crushed it all before anything had happened, anyway."

"I guess you're right." I smile. "I just wish it could have been different."

"Hey, don't worry about me." She leans forward a little. "My profession doesn't allow me a relationship. I come to terms with that a long time ago. I just…I don't expect anyone to ever understand or commit to me with what I do. So, please…don't worry about it."

"You are beautiful, Eliza, and you should have a relationship." I give her a genuine smile.

"Thank you, and yeah…I could, but I choose not to." She shrugs. _Wait, she chooses not to have a relationship? That means she could if she wanted to…_ "If I don't date, I can't get hurt. I've had girlfriends in the past who have been okay with things until one day the jealousy became too much. It's just easier to not get involved and then I'm not putting myself and the other person through hell."

"Thank you for coming here tonight." _I cannot think about the fact that she is available right now._ I thought she wasn't allowed to date. I didn't know it was her own choice.

"I just wanted to give you my side of the story. I wanted you to know who I am and hope that in some weird way you can be happy with what I do." Running her fingers through her hair, she gives me a sad smile and drops her gaze to the glass she is toying with. "I just...I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling to be around you."

"Why?" I furrow my brow.

"Because I experienced something different with you that night I had you alone." She clears her throat and refuses to look my way. "I was aroused."

"I'm sure that happens all the time." I smile.

"Except it doesn't." She shakes her head. "I can't say it's _ever_ happened in my career, Arizona."

 _Okay, I don't even know what to do with that information._ I mean, she turned me down last week. Then she was cold towards me at the club. I know she isn't allowed to be anything other than Adria when she is at the club, but still…I got nothing whatsoever from her. "I, um…"

"You don't have to say anything, Arizona." She smiles and stands. "I just wanted you to know that it felt different with you. I don't know if that makes you feel any better about this situation, or whether it just messes everything up even more, but yeah…I wanted you to know that you are the first person I've ever had in my room that I've been attracted to."

"Thank you for being honest…" I stand and step a little closer to her. "You have to believe that I never meant to offend you with anything I've ever said."

"Would you come someplace with me?" She asks as she takes a step back from me. She may have been attracted to me, but that attraction isn't here right now. I can see it in her body language. I can see how she is trying to not get too close. "If you aren't busy…"

"Now?" I ask. "Sure." Following her outside, I stop her and she turns to face me. "Where are you taking me?"

"To my place." My stomach twisting, I don't quite know how to feel about her suggestion. She's so hot and cold that I don't know why she would ever invite me to her place. "Don't worry…" Sensing the shift in my behavior, she gives me a sad smile. "I just want you to see the kinda life I live. My place isn't filled with whips and chains."

Following her down the street, we cross to the other side and take a left. I recognize this street as being a pretty high end street but I decide not to comment on it. She may think I'm insinuating that a pimp paid for it and I'm done with saying the wrong thing at the wrong time…well, every time I open my mouth if I'm being honest with myself. "Are you sure you don't mind?" I ask as I quicken my pace and fall into step with her.

"Not at all." She shakes her head. "Maybe then you can go back and tell your friend that I'm not the whore she seems to think that I am."

 _I swear I'm going to kill Teddy._

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Once again… Wow to your reviews. I certainly didn't expect this response when I was writing up the first chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Six

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Sitting in Eliza's home, I feel completely different to how I've felt since I discovered that she works at a strip club. I'm beginning to truly see her for the first time, and now I feel like a complete asshole. I feel like I've totally disrespected her, even if it was unintentional. I've always been a firm believer in each to their own, but lately, I haven't been sticking by that. Lately, I've been nothing but a judgmental bitch, and I'm only just realizing that now. I've been too concerned with how I feel about the profession Eliza is in, that I didn't bother to wonder how she sees it. I didn't bother to dig a little deeper and listen to it from her side. I just took what I saw, and went with it. She's right…I'm no different to the others she has come across. I'm just as bad as them.

Glancing around her home, I take in the framed pictures and the decor and it makes me smile a little. This place is very homely. Probably more so than mine, and I've been here for a hell of a lot longer than Eliza has. I can see how she has taken the time to set this place up beautifully, and right now, I never want to leave. Right now, I'm totally in awe of this woman. Yes, she leads a completely different life to that of anyone I know, but change is good, right? Meeting new people is something my mom has always drilled into me since I was a kid, and now is the time to take in her words. Now is the time to get to know Eliza a little better…if she will allow me to.

I'm not sure how she is feeling right now where I'm concerned, but I want to make things right between us. I want to try to show her that I'm interested…because I am. I so am. I know I backed off and avoided her, but the more time I spend with this woman, the more I want to be here with her. The more I want to pick up on her habits and preferences. She could be good for me. She has a positive mentality and I could use some of that right now. She's tough. I can see that. I guess she has had to be, though, working in the environment she does. To me, her body language says 'I'll take no shit from nobody' and I kinda like that in a woman.

Brought from my thoughts by the clearing of a throat, I glance over my shoulder and find Eliza standing in her kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Sure, that would be nice." I smile. "I'll have whatever you're having." Turning away from her, I tap my fingers against my thigh and I feel like I should say something to her. I just don't know what. "I um…" Turning in my seat, I rest my elbow against the back of the couch and she studies my face. "I _am_ attracted to _you_ , Eliza." Dropping her gaze, she continues her work in the kitchen and I watch her. "Sure, I was attracted to you because of what I received from you, but I found you attractive way before you took me into that room."

"That's sweet." She smiles.

"No, it's not." I counter. "It's just the truth. I guess...I mean, I'm just trying to be honest with you right now." I am trying to be honest. I mean, what's the point if I don't tell her how I feel? What's the point in being here if I can't see past everything else and at least try to make amends?

"Always a good place to start, right?"

"I'm sorry if you thought I didn't like you." Giving her a sad smile, she nods her head a little and leans back against her kitchen counter. "I like all sides of you, okay?"

"That's not true." She sighs. "You don't like what I do at weekends, but that's okay."

"No." I stop her. "I didn't like the idea of what you do, but now that you have told me what it is and what it really entails, I'm finding it a lot easier to understand." _I'm trying to be open here, but I'm genuinely scared about messing this up._ "Look, what I'm trying to say is…I'm attracted to you regardless of what you do, okay?"

"Thank you." She smiles. "For being honest." Rounding the couch, she sets down two mugs of hot chocolate and a smile appears on my face. "What?" She asks.

"Nothing." I wave my hand. "Just...something and nothing."

"No, tell me." She takes a seat and crosses her gorgeous long legs. "Please?"

"Just...when I first met you, I imagined you would be the kind to sit at home with a good book and a hot chocolate." The first thing I noticed when I walked into her home was the gigantic bookshelves filled with copious amounts of novels. Mostly romantic.

"Well, you read me well." She smiles as she twists a section of her hair around her index finger. "That's kinda cool."

"What is?"

"That you read me like that." She shrugs and something in her eyes changes. I'm not quite sure what it is, but she's looking at me differently. "I don't think anyone has ever done that before…"

"I like to read people." I smile.

"Me too." My arm stretched out along the back of the couch, she releases her hair from her finger and drops her hand towards my own. Her fingertips grazing the back of my hand, my eyes close and I have to stop myself from moving closer to her. This is the first time that she has initiated any sort of contact with me, and it feels amazing. Her touch on my skin feels amazing. "Eliza…" I breathe out as my eyes open.

"Sorry." She pulls back and sits up a little. "I just...I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I smile. "That was nice."

"But it shouldn't have happened." She sighs as she pulls her legs out from underneath her and sits forward in her seat. "I don't know why I'm doing this to myself." She sighs. "I don't know why I even invited you here. It just makes this so much harder."

"I don't follow…"

"You being here just makes it more difficult to let you go from my life." Her eyes focused on the coffee table, her foot taps against the floor and I sit forward with her. "I've wanted something with you since the day I saw you in the coffee shop. Friends could have worked, but I think we both know that we wanted more. At least, I did." She admits. "I never wanted you to see me at the club, and now that you have, it's just ruined everything."

"It hasn't." I try to reassure her.

"It has, Arizona." She counters. "You know, I've always loved my job, and I've never been bothered about what people think of me, but since I met you…I worry. I worry that I'm going to miss out on the chance of being happy in my personal life because I'm too concerned with my professional life. I love it, I do, but nobody ever wants me because of it."

"I want you." _Whoa, that wasn't supposed to come out._

"No, you don't." She scoffs. "Why would you?"

"Because you're beautiful." I smile as I place my hand over her own that is resting on her knee. "You caught my attention the moment I met you."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." She gives me a sad smile and I shake my head. "I thought by bringing you here you would see who I am. The true me. But I know that you will still walk out that door tonight and have issues with everything. I know, because I've been there before. Not many times, but enough times to know how this is going to go."

"And how exactly do you assume it is going to go?" I ask, my eyebrow raised.

"You will tell me everything I want to hear. You will swoop me off of my feet. You will insist that everything is okay with us, and then one day, you will decide that you cannot do this. You can't do us. I know how it goes…"

"But you're wrong." Brushing her hair from her shoulder, her profile comes into full view and it makes my heart beat a little faster. "What's going to happen is…we will try this. I will take you out to dinner. We will spend a little time together. If we enjoy it, we will spend more time together. Then, if any issues do arise, you will reassure me and we will go from there. I trust that you do your job to the best of your ability, and I know you follow the rules. I know you don't sleep around with your clients, and honestly, I kinda want to come to one of your shows."

"Yeah?" Her smile growing, I give her a nod and she turns to face me. "Dinner would be nice."

"I know." I agree. "And so would spending some time together, no?"

"It would." She smiles. "Just…give me a chance, okay? Give me a chance to show you that I can be what you need without my job getting in the way…"

"I will." Inching a little closer to her, her gaze switches between my eyes and my lips and I smile as she shows the first hint of nerves since I've met her. She's always so strong and indestructible, but right now she is showing a different side to herself. Right now she is opening up and she is giving me the opportunity to try this with her. For that, I'll always be grateful. "Eliza, I really want to kiss you."

"Yeah?" Her breath washing over my lips, I cup her face and give her a small nod as my thumb trails her bottom lip, my eyes closing. "So, what are you waiting for?" She whispers.

"Nothing." My lips millimeters from her own, her hand settles on my thigh and my breath catches ever so slightly. "Nothing at all." My lips pressing against her own, she smiles against my mouth and it sends my body into a spin. _Wow, she has the softest lips._ Pulling back, I look for any signs that she doesn't want this, but I find nothing. Pulling me back in by my neck, I allow this woman attached to me to tell me how she truly feels. I allow her lips to do the work, and right now, I couldn't care any less about her profession. Right now, it's all irrelevant.

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

Things got a little heated before and thankfully, we managed to slow it down. Only just, but still…we controlled ourselves and I think it was for the best. Honestly, kissing Arizona was like nothing I've ever imagined. I mean, I've dated, on the odd free weekend, and I've slept around occasionally, but this is totally different. Being with her feels totally different to anyone I've ever been with. I don't want to throw myself at her and give us what we both want. I want to do this properly. I don't want anything to jeopardize this. I don't want anything to get in the way of what could possibly be starting. I know what I want, and even though I know I'll probably be left heartbroken, I feel like I have to do this. I feel like I have to experience Arizona in her entirety before I shoot down the idea of us being together.

I meant what I said earlier when I told her that people run, and in this moment, I fully expect her to. I expect her to follow in the footsteps of the other women I've tried to get close to but at the same time…I feel like she is different to the others. No, I know she is different to the others. I've never needed a woman by my side to be happy, but I'm almost thirty, and I think it's time to see what's out there. Arizona is out there. She is the only one I want to try this with. I know down the line we will have issues, but I hope that she can talk to me about them. I hope that she can see past the fact that I strip for half of New York, and be with me regardless. Who knows…who knows where this is going to go.

Glancing to my right, the blonde I've shared most of my night with is looking a little sleepy-eyed and it makes me smile. She has this weird hot yet adorable look going on, and it only makes me want to see her again. It only makes me want to spend more time with her. I don't know how she is feeling right now since she hasn't said much about our kiss, but I'll give her the space she is probably going to want. The space she is probably going to need. For all I know, the moment got the better of us and she didn't want to hurt my feelings. For all I know, that kiss was a mistake to her. I hope it won't be, but I'll just have to take this however she wants to do it. If she wants to do it at all. "Hey…" I nudge her a little.

"Mm?" Raising an eyebrow, a yawn escapes her mouth and I give her a sad smile.

"You're falling asleep."

"I'm not." She shakes her head a little. "I'm good."

"No, you should get some sleep," I state. "And it's getting late." Glancing at the clock, it's a little after 11 pm and I don't really want her walking the streets of New York. "Let me call you a taxi?"

"I can walk." She sits up and grabs her jacket from the back of my couch. "I'm only ten minutes away from here."

"I don't really want you walking the streets." I shrug. "Maybe I could walk you?"

"No, because then you will be walking alone. Kinda defeats the object, right?"

"Oh, please." I laugh. "I walk those streets at 3 am most weekends." Realising that I probably shouldn't get into my weekends too often around her, I clear my throat and she stands. "Thank you for inviting me out tonight."

"Thank you for inviting me here." She responds. "I've had a great evening and you have a beautiful home."

"I'm glad." Standing, I move a little closer to her and thankfully, she doesn't pull away from me. "Can I see you again soon or did you want me to just wait to hear from you?"

"I'd love to see you again soon, Eliza." Taking my hand in her own, she leans in a little and places a kiss below my ear. _Wow, that feels good._ "When are you free?"

"Most nights." I smile. "Just text me and let me know."

"I don't have your number." She states. "Maybe you could text me so I can save it, yeah?"

"Sounds good to me." Moving towards my front door, I tug her back by the wrist and turn her to face me. "Can I get one last kiss before you leave?" Without another word, her lips are on mine and it feels just as genuine and amazing as it did earlier on this evening. _God, I wish we hadn't stopped._ It was the right thing to do, though. It will always be the right thing to do. No matter how much I want to take her on my couch. My hands roaming her hips, she smiles against my mouth and pulls back. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing." She breathes out. "Just...if we don't stop, I'll never get home." _Wouldn't be such a bad thing._ "Text me when I leave and I'll talk to you on the way home, okay?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." I agree as I place a final kiss to her lips. "I've really enjoyed my night with you, Arizona."

"Good because I plan on there being many many more." Reaching behind her, she opens my front door and backs out onto the porch. "Goodnight, Eliza."

"G-Goodnight." Closing the door behind Arizona, a small smile creeps onto my face and honestly, this isn't how I expected my evening to go. I hadn't planned on bringing her to my place, but after I'd told her what my job is really like, something changed between us. Something was different. Maybe this won't work and we will go our separate ways, but I meant what I said to her when I told her that I found her attractive. Honestly, she's the most attractive woman I've ever had the pleasure to meet…and I've met a lot of women.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Once again…. Whoa!**

 **Immense response. Let me know if you want more. I'll see what else I can get out today for you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been lying in bed awake for the past thirty minutes. Last night Eliza showed me a completely different side to herself and honestly, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know how to feel. I'd built myself up to dismiss her and my feelings for her so much that my head is full of all kinds of crazy thoughts right now. Thoughts I don't even know how to sort through. I mean, she's adorable. Absolutely perfect for me, but is this really a good idea? Is the idea of us just me being ridiculous. I'm generally not a jealous person, but I know with Eliza that could totally change. I know with her, I'd hate the idea of someone else's hands on her. It's just a job, and I get that, but when I'm in too deep, will I still feel the same way? Will I still be the understanding one in the relationship? I'm can't be sure that I would be. I can't be sure of anything right now. What I do know, though, is that I want to see more of this woman. I _need_ to see more of her. She just…I don't know. She makes me feel different.

Like, I've woken this morning and I feel refreshed. I've woken this morning and my life feels totally different to how it did yesterday morning. Kissing her was just something else altogether. I felt like she was breathing life back into me. I felt like she was telling me that I was hers and nobody else mattered. Maybe she was, but I doubt it. I barely know the woman and sometimes I wonder if my writing makes me feel that way. I often feel like I'm living inside of my stories, and maybe this time isn't any different. Maybe I'm just wishing and hoping for something that isn't going to go anywhere.

Climbing from my warm comfortable bed, I stretch my refreshed body out and stand, preparing for my day of writing and daydreaming. I'm often caught daydreaming, and Teddy says it's my biggest downfall. One minute I can be holding a conversation and the next I'm in my own world. I like being in my own world, though. I like the idea of creating my own ideals in my head. The world isn't the happiest of places right now, so yeah…ain't nothing wrong with being in my own world as far as I'm concerned. It just blocks out the bad and the nasty that way.

Heading out of my bedroom, I cross the open space of my apartment and head for the kitchen. A little coffee and I'll be ready to face this day head-on. My cell lightly up silently on the kitchen counter, I furrow my brow and approach it.

 ** _Good morning. Just wanted to thank you for last night…again. X_**

Smiling to myself, I've now lost count of the number of times Eliza has thanked me for last night. I don't know why she is thanking me, though. I was only being open and honest about how I felt. I was only giving her what I believed she needed to hear, and what I know I needed to say. We texted back and forth last night for over an hour and eventually, I convinced her that she had to get some sleep. Yeah, I was fried when I left her place, but the moment the fresh air hit me, and the moment she gave me a little attention, I was wide awake. Let's just say sleep didn't come easy for me last night. I lay awake thinking about her lips. How she kissed me. How she pulled me in by the back of my neck like she was never letting me go. I don't think I've ever experienced a kiss quite like I have with Eliza, and it only left me wanting more. _Typical Arizona. Never happy with just one time._

 ** _Hey, good morning. I hope your work out went to plan considering you didn't go to sleep last night. Az x_**

 ** _It went perfectly. I'm a pro at this. X_**

Laughing to myself, I pour a fresh coffee and pull myself towards my comfortable couch. Pulling a blanket over my legs, my mind instantly takes me to the possibility of one day sharing a morning with Eliza. Just like this. Relaxed. At ease with each other. Toying with each other's fingertips whilst we enjoy our morning coffee together. _God, I want that so much with her._

 ** _Mm, if you did your work out…why are you only texting me at 10 am? Az x_**

 ** _Didn't want to wake you. Beauty sleep and all that. X_**

 ** _I need more than sleep for that… Az x_**

Lacing my fingers around my coffee cup, I feel like today is going to be a good day. Personally and professionally. I don't even know if she is working today, but I'll be heading down to my usual spot in the next hour or so, and if I see her face when I walk in, my day couldn't possibly get any better.

 ** _Nonsense. Absolutely beautiful. X_**

My stomach flipping at her admission, I close my eyes and give myself a moment to breathe through all of the things I'm feeling right now. I give myself a moment to truly feel her words. _This woman is incredible._ I barely even know her, but right now I don't care. She is saying all of the right things to me…and it's what I need. I need this playing and back and forth from her. The teasing, if you like. It's been so long since I've had this or felt this way, and yeah...I definitely need it.

 ** _Will I see you today? Az x_**

I'm hoping she will say yes, but I'm not talking about seeing her at work. I'm talking about seeing her outside of work. Even if it's just for an hour, I'll take what I can get. I need to know her more. I need to be alone with her more. I love spending my time at the coffee shop, but there is too much distraction around us. Around me.

 ** _Sure you will. I'm headed into work now. Only working until 2. X_**

 ** _Oh, so I'll see you for a little while then? Az x_**

 ** _You know it. X_**

Pulling myself from the couch, I have to get ready to leave sooner than I usually would. I want to be able to look at her if she is busy working. Maybe she will inspire me to write a little more than I have the past few days. I've worked hard, but not hard enough. Heading off to my closet, I begin sorting through my potential outfits for the day, and yeah…I'm totally dressing for Eliza.

* * *

I've been at the coffee shop for the past twenty minutes but I'm yet to see Eliza. I'm assuming she is out back but she could be avoiding me. _No, she isn't._ Why would she be? She's been texting me this morning. Teddy called me a little while ago to see what my plans for the day are, but I was a little cold with her. I'm mad at her right now for how she has behaved towards Eliza and honestly, I desperately want to call her out on it. Why? Because the things she has said to her aren't acceptable. None of this is any of her business and I don't care how good of a friend she is. I don't care how much she loves me and looks out for me. It's not right. I'd never interfere in any of her relationships, and I'd appreciate it if she could do the same.

She just gets a little hot-headed sometimes and I understand that she means well…it doesn't make it right, though. It doesn't mean she gets a free pass to behave however she likes without any consequences. So, I told her I was working on my novel and ended the call as soon as I possibly could. She knows I'm angry with her, so she will just have to wait it out like the best of them. She will wait it out and when I'm ready to call her out on her crap, I will. I don't care how long we have been best friends for…she won't ruin this for me. She should understand that my happiness is more important than people's opinions on Eliza. She should understand that I'm mature enough to know when I want something and when I don't.

Hitting my keyboard a little harder as I think about my best friend, I square my shoulders and fix my glasses a little better on my nose. "Working hard, I see." That voice pulling me from my anger, I smile before I've even looked up at the body in front of me.

"Hey…" My eyes finding Eliza's, she drops down in the seat opposite me and places a fresh coffee down. "For me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Of course." That gorgeous smile warming me a little inside, she pushes it across the table and sits back in her seat. "A lot of work on, huh?"

"Well, I do work to a deadline, but I'm doing pretty well so far."

"Oh, you looked a little crazy as I came over here." She laughs. "Like you were ready to explode."

"Oh." I wave off her comment. "I was just thinking about something, sorry." Closing my laptop lid, I rest my elbows on the table in front of me and narrow my eyes. "You know, you look pretty good since you've just been working out."

"It's just so easy now." She shrugs. "Why? Did you want me to break more of a sweat next time?" Raising her eyebrow, my body responds like it really shouldn't be and I feel a blush creeping up my face. "So, that's a yes then?" She smirks.

"N-No." I stutter. "I'm sure you know exactly what you are doing." Clearing my throat, I take my coffee cup between my teeth and just stares at me. Like, into my soul.

"Shame." She shrugs, once she knows she's got me right where she wants me. "I love working up a sweat."

"Y-Yeah...sounds f-fun." I smile.

"Oh, like you wouldn't believe." _Okay, she has to stop that. That flirty hot thing she is doing._ It's making me crazy. "Maybe you could work out with me sometime."

"Uh…"

"I mean, you look like you work out." She smiles. "Maybe you are just incredibly hot naturally, though."

"No, and no." I laugh. "I run, but that's all." Setting my coffee cup down, I study her face and she narrows her eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing." I hold up my hands. "Just…trying to figure you out." _She seems to like my honesty, so why not go with it?_ "Are you busy when you finish up in here?"

"No." She smiles. "But you are."

"Am I?" My brow furrowed, I give her a look of confusion.

"I don't want to pull you from your writing. It's what makes you…well, you." _Ugh, could she be any more gorgeous?_

"I can work at my own pace," I state. "Figured we could grab some lunch?" Throwing the suggestion her way, she smiles and gives me a nod before I've even had time to process my own words. "Yeah?"

"I'd love to." She agrees. "I don't really know what's good around here, though, so you'll have to give me a few pointers."

"Sounds perfect." Settling back in my seat, she stands and fixes her uniform a little. "I'll see you in a little while then, okay?"

"Yeah." She nods. "I should go…"

"I know. You have work to do." Lifting the lid of my laptop, I log back into my account and fix my coffee in the perfect position beside me.

"No." She sighs. "If I don't, I'll kiss you." Stepping away, she leaves me with my mouth hanging open and glances back over her shoulder with an adorable smile for me. _Okay, so any worries I had this morning have totally disappeared._

* * *

"So, what's been happening?" Teddy asks as she drops down in the seat in front of me. This wasn't a part of my plan today, but she knows where I hang out, so she was always going to come by. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Shaking myself from my thoughts, I begin packing up my work for the day since Eliza is due to finish in the next ten minutes.

"I said what's up?"

"Nothing, why?" I furrow my brow. "Why does something have to be up?"

"Usually is with you." She snorts. "How's the book coming along?"

"Fine." She knows I'm being short with her, but I don't really feel much like doing this right now. I've had an awesome morning, and I plan on my afternoon being the same. "Look, I have to leave soon so can we hurry this along?"

"Leave?" She raises her eyebrow. "To go where? You never leave this place. It's like your second home."

"I just have somewhere to be, okay? My life doesn't only revolve around my writing, Teddy."

"Um...yeah." She laughs. "It kinda does."

"I'm not doing this." Shoving my MacBook into my bag, I stand and round the table. Eliza comes into view and she looks like a deer caught in headlights. "Hey…" I smile.

"I, uh…" Glancing between my best friend and I, she shakes her head and clears her throat. "It was nice seeing you today, Arizona. I'm finished for the day so I'm just going to head home. See ya."

"Wait!" I grip her wrist and stop her from leaving the shop. I stop her from leaving my space. "I'm coming now."

"You don't have to do this." She lowers her tone but Teddy hears her. "I get it."

"Do what?" She stands. Her takeout cup in her hand. "And what exactly _do you get?_ "

"Nothing." The brunette beside me drops her gaze.

"No. It's not nothing, Eliza." I smile. "Eliza and I were just about to head out to lunch."

"You are joking, right?" Teddy laughs. "You're going to lunch with your stripper."

"I swear if you don't keep your voice down…" Pinching the bridge of my nose, I take a breath and close my eyes. "Outside, Teddy. Now!" Making my way out onto the street, Eliza stays back in the coffee shop and Teddy follows behind me. "Are you for real?" I scoff. "Like, what the hell is your problem?"

"Arizona, you can't date her." She gives me a sad. "She is your private dancer. You get that, right?"

"No, she was… _once._ Jesus, you are acting like she is a hooker." I spit.

"As good as." Shrugging her shoulders, I give her a look of disgust and step back from her.

"You know, you should probably just stay away from me for a little while. I'm sick of your interference, and I don't need it. I don't need you to look after me."

"So what? That's it? We're done here…"

"Yeah, looks that way." I smile. "When you can be happy for me. When you can be happy about the fact that I don't need you to cry to or to whine to, call me. Until then, don't bother." Stepping away from my supposed best friend, I head back inside the coffee shop and Eliza stands a little awkwardly. "Come on." I smile as I tug at her hand. "It's time for lunch."

Making our way back out onto the street, I know she is worrying, but she really has nothing to worry about. "Arizona, I don't want to cause any problems for you."

"You're not." I turn to face her and furrow my brow. "Teddy is the one causing problems."

"Because of me, though." She gives me a sad smile and my heart breaks at her admission. "This is usually how it goes, so it's okay. You should go back and figure things out with your friend. She's already told me to keep away from you."

"And I'm telling you right now that it's not happening. I want to spend time with you, Eliza. I want to know you and what you are about."

"That's sweet but I'm really not worth losing a friend over." She shrugs. "I just…I'm just me. There is nothing special about me whatsoever. I just do my own thing."

"And now we are going to do _our_ thing." I step a little closer to her and run my thumb over the skin of her wrist. "Which is…go to lunch." Placing a soft kiss below her ear, she leans into my touch and I feel her smile a little. "Stop worrying, Eliza. I want this. Okay?"

"Yeah." She breathes out as I pull back. "That felt nice, by the way."

"Oh, I couldn't agree more." Crossing the street, she falls into step with me and a comfortable silence settles between us. I don't know what Teddy's problem is, but I'm not doing this with her. I know she worries, and at times I'm grateful for that, but this isn't one of those times. Sure, things may not work out with Eliza and I, but that's my own problem to think about. That's my own issue...and I'll face that if and when it happens.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I'm about to check out your reviews for the last chapter since I haven't had the chance. There is a lot of them to get through, but I'll say thanks, anyway. You're all great!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Wow. It's all I've got right now. Arizona and I have spent the past three evenings together and it's been great. Everything about it has been exactly how I imagined she would be. We've shared dinner together twice, and one night she ended up at my place simply because she wanted to be there. She just called me when she was outside and asked if I was busy. I can't say I'll ever be too busy for her. She's the breath of fresh air I need in my life. I know she is. She's actually a lot sweeter than she comes across. When she showed up at my place, she seemed a little unsure as to whether I wanted her there and I could see it in those gorgeous eyes. I could see the thoughts running through her mind. Once I'd reassured her, we spent the evening watching a movie and just relaxing with each other. She had been crazy busy that day with her publisher, and I could see that she was beyond tired. She fell asleep once or twice but I didn't have it in me to wake her. I couldn't bring myself to wake her and send her home. Deciding to just go with it, I grabbed a blanket that was nearby and covered us both up. Arizona sleeping between my legs and against my body. It just felt all kinds of right and exactly how it should have. By the time she woke, it was close to 2 am, but we stayed in our position. I didn't want to actually suggest that she stay over, even though I was desperate to. I didn't want to move too fast and suggest we head to bed because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of her. I knew we would end up going further, and right now…this pace we have going on is perfect.

Sure, there has been teasing between us, but it's only going to make things even hotter when we do decide it's time to get a little more intimate. I explained that this was all going at her pace, and she thanked me for being understanding. It's not that I don't want her. I just want her to be sure about me and about what could possibly become of us before we take that step. I know what I want, and I think she knows too, but the weekend hasn't come by yet since we've been kinda dating, so that could all change. Today is Friday, so yeah…this could all change.

She hasn't brought anything up about my weekend job as of yet, but tonight is when I will test out how she feels. She knows I'm working so she knows she won't see me, but will she be okay with that? Will she want to see me tomorrow day before I head off for another shift at the club? I don't know. _God, I hope she will want to._ I'm fully expecting her to be a little off with me, maybe even a little worried, but she said she trusts me and she said she can accept what I do. I just hope she hasn't changed her mind. I really want this to work out between us, but if I'm being totally honest…I don't see it happening. It's just a job and my clients mean nothing, but still, people do take it pretty hard.

Rounding the counter, I'm due to take my break so I approach Arizona a little slowly and try to get a feel for how she is coping with the idea of me working tonight. She seems okay, but I've figured out that she is pretty good at hiding her feelings when she wants to. I don't think it's intentional, but she still does it. "Hey…" I smile as I pull her from her work. "I'm on my break but if you're too busy with work I can sit somewhere else.".

"No, sit down." She smiles. "I've been waiting for you to take your break, anyway."

"Oh." I furrow my brow. "Why?"

"Just…missed you." She shrugs as she takes her cappuccino from my hand. Her fingers grazing my own. "I'm sorry I couldn't see you yesterday."

"That's okay. I know you have a lot on."

"I know, but I wanted to thank you for Wednesday night." She sits forward a little. "It was nice spending the night with you. Even if it was on your couch."

"Mm…" I nod in agreement. "Felt good sleeping with you against me."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens a little and I can't help the smirk that forms on my face. "What time do you have to work tonight?"

"I leave my place around 9." Sipping on my coffee, I don't know where this conversation is about to go. "You have any plans at all?"

"No, not really." She shrugs. "Usually just grab a bottle of wine and sit alone. I uh, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place before you left for work?" I study her face but I find no signs of hesitation. "I don't know what your routine is, or even if you want to come by but I thought it would be nice to spend some time together if it was at all possible."

"I'd love to." I smile. "What time did you want me to come over?"

"Whenever you like." She sweetens her coffee a little and sits back in her seat. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Just…I don't know. Kinda missed you more than I expected yesterday."

"Yeah." Running my fingers through my hair, I sigh. "I did hope you would just show up like you did Wednesday."

"I'm sorry." She gives me a sad smile. "I didn't get home until after 8 and I was so tired."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Reaching over the table, I take my hand in her own and I've never been so relieved when she doesn't pull back. "I'll come by tonight, okay?"

"Okay." She gives me her dimples and it makes my heart beat that little bit faster. "Can I cook us dinner?"

"That would be great."

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

Eliza has been at my place for a little over an hour, and dinner's almost ready. I remembered her telling me about how healthy she tries to be so I've gone for the healthiest option I could think of. I guess I can't go wrong with steamed vegetables and some marinated chicken. I'm assuming she doesn't eat big when she is working at the club, but I could be wrong. I'm not sure she eats big at any point, to be honest. Her figure is so perfect that I'm beginning to wonder if she is even human. "Can I help with anything?" She asks as she rounds the counter and places a kiss below my ear.

"No, everything is good here." Turning in her arms, I give her a smile but I can see that she is thinking about something. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She breathes out. "Just got some stuff on my mind."

"So...talk to me about it?" I raise an eyebrow. "If you want…"

"Just...what happens tonight when I leave here and go to work?" I can hear the worry in her voice and it breaks my heart a little.

"What do you mean what happens?"

"Are you still going to want to see me tomorrow?" Her voice breaking a little, I furrow my brow and run my thumb across her jawline. "I'm worried that you won't answer my calls."

"Why wouldn't I answer your calls?"

"Just because." She shrugs. "Because tonight it becomes real. My job. My other life. My dancing. This will be the first time since we really got together that you will have to think about it. I just…I'm worried, is all."

"You have no reason to worry." I smile. "I know you have to go to work, and I've known it since I told you I wanted to be with you. You won't have to wait for a call from me tomorrow because once I know you are awake, I will be at your place. Maybe I'll even make you breakfast." I shrug. "Depends on what mood I'm in."

"That would be nice." She sighs as she rests her chin against my shoulder.

"I know it will be." I agree. "I'm okay with your job, Eliza. Just remember that." It's true. I am okay with her job. I can't say that it will always be perfect between us, but I can live with what she does. I've felt that way since she explained everything to me. I've felt that way since I kissed her on Monday. Sure, it's not to everyone's taste, but the more I think about how we were in that private room the first night I went to the club, the hotter she seems. I mean, she's hot regardless of her profession, but I've seen that other side to her and I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want to experience that again. You know, enjoy the moment. I enjoyed it the first time around, but something has changed in me a little, and I don't know why. Something about what she does has begun changing my opinion of the club. It's work and it always will be, but yeah…Eliza's job is beginning to seem all kinds of hot to me. Providing I'm the one experiencing it, that is.

Pulling back, she gives me a smile and presses a kiss to my lips. "You know, I knew you were different to the others."

"How so?" I ask. Genuinely interested in where she is going with this.

"I don't know…I just didn't get that vibe from you that I get from the others who've come to the club. You didn't have that desperation seeping from you like they do. You didn't have that look of lust in your eyes that they sometimes have. You were…caring."

"I think I was shocked more than anything." I laugh as I turn off the stove.

"Shocked?"

"Yeah. I didn't know I was going there and then you walked out, and well…" Shaking my head a little, I drop my gaze and she steps up behind me. "Eliza…"

"And what else, Arizona?" Her hand placed on my hip, she brushes my hair from my shoulder and grazes her fingertips down my neck.

"Just...nothing." I smile.

"Tell me." She whispers against my neck. "Tell me what you thought."

"That you were unbelievably hot," I admit. "Like, a lot of the women in there were attractive, but you? Y-You were something else."

"I turned you on, didn't I?" Her breath washing over my ear, I drop the spoon I'm holding and grip the edge of the counter. "You can admit it, you know…"

"Y-Yes." I close my eyes as she presses her body against my own. "I was incredibly aroused by you, Eliza."

"Good." She smiles against my ear. "That was exactly what I was going for."

"Y-You were?" I turn in her arms and she gives me a nod. "Why?"

"I'd met you that same day in the coffee shop." She smiles. "I was already attracted to you."

"I didn't know it was you." I drop my gaze. "I didn't realize. I remember thinking that I wanted to see you again, though. I mean, at the club, you know?"

"So you _did_ want another dance from me, huh?" She raises her eyebrow and a blush creeps up my neck. "I knew it." She laughs.

"No, I just…" Sighing, she grazes my hip with her thumb and her touch sets my skin on fire. "Yeah." _Time to come clean._ "I did."

"You know there is nothing wrong with that, right?" _Oh, if only she knew the wrong thoughts I had in my head right now._ "I'll dance for you _anytime_ , Arizona." Her words sending my head a little crazy, I give her a small smile and she steps back. "Just remember that, okay?"

"S-Sure." Turning, I close my eyes and give myself a moment to cool down. _God, she is so arousing._ I'm not sure anyone has ever made me feel that way with just their words. Their voice. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." Clearing my throat, I glance over my shoulder and find her watching me from the dining table. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Do you have any wine?" She raises her eyebrow.

"I do, but I thought you didn't drink?" I furrow my brow.

"I try not to, but I'd like to enjoy a glass with you."

"Red or white?" I ask as I reach for two glasses.

"Mm, white." She smiles. "Just the one, though." Grabbing a bottle of white, I pour us both a reasonable measure and head for the brunette who is sending me crazy just by looking at me. "You know, I'll miss you tonight…"

"I'll miss you, too, but you have to work." Handing her a glass of wine, she sets it down on the table and pulls me down into her lap.

"Come and see me later…" She gives me a pleading look but I'm not sure it's a good idea. "I'll book you in."

"No." I drop my gaze. "I shouldn't."

"But you want to?" She raises her eyebrow. _God, I want to so much._

"Of course, I want to see you," I state.

"No, I'm talking about being alone with you, Arizona. In that room. In your lap. In very very little." My body responding to her suggestion, I don't know if it's just because I'm desperate to get her in my bed, but wow, she's making me feel a little hot under the collar right now. "If you're thinking about it…you already know the answer."

"Is it really a good idea?" I ask, my heart pounding in my ears. "Like, it's not as though I can touch you."

"You can." She smirks. "But only a little." _Okay, what's the fun in that?_

"Not really what I had planned if I'm being totally honest."

"No?" She narrows her eyes and runs her hand up my thigh. "And what exactly _did_ you have planned?"

"Okay, you have to stop this." Standing, I hold my hands up between us. "You're driving me crazy."

"I'm sorry." She sighs. "Just…I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"You will." I give her a nod in agreement. "Now, let's get some dinner before you have to leave me.

* * *

This was never in my plans. This was never supposed to be how I spent my Friday night. I've somehow come to be sitting in this freaking club, though, and I don't know how to go about this. I know it's a bad idea and I know we shouldn't be seeing each other in this setting, but I miss her. Pathetic, I know, but it still doesn't change the fact that I miss her and I'm about to resort to seeing her as a stripper. _What is wrong with you, Arizona?_ She's going to hit the roof when she sees me. I just know it. I know she offered to book me in earlier, but she knew I would say no. She knew the idea would be shot down and she wouldn't have to worry about me showing up at her job. I'm not here to check up on her or to keep a watch on her, I'm here because she teased me to the point of insanity before she left and right now…I don't care how I see her. I don't care what setting we are in or what she is wearing, I just need to see her.

Have I become so desperate for attention that I need to see my potential future girlfriend in a strip club? Have I really? It seems like I have, but I don't care right now. I don't care because screw what people think. Screw what I usually believe in. Eliza makes me feel good. She makes me feel like a totally different person. So, yeah…screw everything. Right now, I'd actually settle for seeing her dance on stage, but I guess it's better that she's not. When I'm with her, I only want _my_ eyes on her. I want her focus to be purely on me. Not me and everyone else who has come here tonight. I know I don't have the option of my eyes only ever being on her, but when we are alone in that room…it's guaranteed.

Sipping on a glass of rum, a familiar head of hair moves through the crowds of people and towards where I'm sitting. She won't know I'm her next…dance, but I'm now a little worried that she is going to freak out. A gorgeous smile coming into full view, she leans over the back of the couch and motions for me to come a little closer. "I knew you couldn't resist." Her tone low, I squeeze my legs together immediately and try to stop my body from becoming incredibly aroused whilst I'm sat amongst all of these people. "Come with me, beautiful."

Pulling me up to my feet, my eyes find her own and she looks different. She looks...I don't know. She doesn't have that look in her eyes that she usually does when she comes to take her next client. She doesn't have that stance about her. She's looking at me exactly how she looks at me outside of this place. _Thank God._ Right now, I get the impression that she isn't seeing me as her client. She is seeing me as something more. Pulling me through the crowd, her hand is gripped around my own a little tighter than usual, and it's making me feel so much more at ease. Maybe that will all change when we get inside the room, I don't know, but God, I want this woman so bad right now.

What do I call her? Do I stick to her rules and use her dancer name? I really don't want to have to do that, but I don't want this to get this, or us, to get too carried away. She uses a different name for a reason, and I know she doesn't want to be called Eliza in here. "Hey…" I breathe out as she pushes me into the private room and tugs the curtain closed. "I just…"

"Stand back against the far wall." She demands.

"Um-"

"Do it, Arizona." She motions for me to cross the room and I do as she asks. _Why does she want me to stand? And why here of all places?_ Closing the distance between us, I furrow my brow and watch her body language. _Okay, so she is totally not in stripper mode right now._ Now I don't know what to do. I came here with the actual hope of a dance, but now I'm not so sure she wants that for us. That would be okay, but I just figured with what she had suggested earlier, it would still be okay to come by.

"Why am I standing here?" I ask as she places her palms flat against the wall either side of my head. "Adri-"

"Don't." Her lips pressing against my own, she pushes her body forward against me and right now I'm on another planet. I'm in another world. Pulling back, she gives me a genuine smile and I blush a little. "I'm Eliza to you, but only in this room. Not outside...and I have you here because the cameras won't catch us. It doesn't pan around this far."

"O-Oh," I smirk. "Good to know."

"Mmhmm…" She nods as she traces my bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. "I was hoping you would come by…"

"Yeah?"

"God, yes." She moans as her lips find mine once again. It's not as soft as she sometimes is, but Jesus, it's all kinds of hot. _So hot._ "I didn't want to leave your place after dinner."

"You've had me thinking about a dance since you left me," I admit. "I just…you don't have to, though."

"I'll always want to dance for you, Arizona." Her lips working my neck, she sucks on my pulse point and my knees feel a little weak. "Always." Pulling me away from the wall, she pushes my body down until I'm sitting comfortably on the cool leather couch beneath me. An unfamiliar song playing out through the room, my eyes are fixed on her and only her. Nothing but a black lace bra and a very revealing g string covering her gorgeous body, I'm throbbing. _This is so wrong…_ But wow, it feels so right. I mean, I cannot make her change her mind about her profession, so why not accept that and enjoy the experience myself?

Her knees coming to rest either side of my own legs, she braces her hands on the back of the couch and leans into my body. Her hips rolling, I glance down and all I'm seeing is her barely covered sex grinding against me. My hands coming to rest against her thighs, she gives me a smile and again, it's different to the last time she danced for me. She isn't putting on a show. She isn't doing her job. This means something to her. I can see it in her gorgeous eyes. I can see it as she bites down on her bottom lip and closes her eyes. My nails gently grazing her sensitive skin, she flips her hair to her right shoulder and leans into the side of my face. "Do you have any idea how incredibly hot you are?" Her breath the only thing keeping me alive right now, I close my eyes and smile against the skin of her neck. "Do you also have any idea how much I want you, Arizona?" _Fuck!_

"Eliza…" I moan as she slips her knee between my thighs. Connecting with own throbbing sex, my body shudders and I know that I have to stay in control of this moment. I know I can't let this go too far. As much as I want to, it's not right. There is a reason rules are in place at these clubs and I'm no exception. No matter how much I want to be. No matter how much I'd happily take her right now, I can't. If someone sees, she could and probably _would_ lose her job. I don't want to be the cause of that. "N-Not here," I whisper as she works me up like never before. My hands slipping to the backs of her thighs, it only spurs her on and her breath catches in her throat as she forces her center down against my thigh. "You know I want you, but not here." An almost pleading tone in my voice, she pulls back a little and her eyes find mine. Almost black, she drops her gaze to my lips and I give her a smile.

"God, I want to kiss you so much." Licking her lips, she climbs off of me and turns her back. Her hands reaching around her back, she unclasps her bra and it only makes me even more soaked. _Fuck!_ Glancing at the camera fixed to the wall out of the corner of my eye, the position she is in would prevent it from really seeing anything. Smiling to myself, my left hand ghosts up the back of her thigh and I manage to slip it between her legs. "O-Oh god." Her head dropping on her shoulders, she doesn't stop dancing but I know she wants this. I know she wants me. I can feel the heat coming from her body and wow, it's the most intense feeling I've ever experienced.

"Eliza…" I whisper. "We shouldn't."

"I know." She moans as her ass hits my thighs. Realising exactly where my hand is, she slows her movements and I know she is secretly begging me. Shifting it a little further to the right, my fingertips connect with her arousal and it takes everything I have within me not to push inside of her right now and take her like I've never taken anyone before. "Tell me to s-stop." She breathes out as my hand almost cups her sex. "Or this is happening right now." She wiggles her ass a little and my finger slips past the very thin material of her G string, connecting with her folds. I'm so torn right now and it's fucking killing me.

"How long do you have left before you can leave here?" I bite down on my lip and keep my hand as still as possible. I can feel her all over me, but I need to figure this out.

"If nobody else has booked since you came in here, I'm free to leave when your dance is over." Her words deciding my answer without even thinking about it, I run a single finger up and towards her clit and she shoots forward a little. "Fuck." Her words barely above a whisper, I pull my hand away and she freezes.

"You are soaked, Eliza…and I need you in my bed." I smile as she lifts her head and glances over her shoulder. "Or yours, I don't mind."

"You've no idea what you do to me." She moans as she stands and grabs her bra from the couch beside me. "And we need to leave…right now." Shifting a little uncomfortably, her chest is heaving and I know exactly how our night is going to go. I know exactly the reaction I'm going to get from this. Hooking her bra back around her gorgeous body, I stand and move a little closer to her. "Wait outside, Arizona. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Promise?" I smirk.

"Oh, I promise." She groans as she squeezes her thighs together. "My place is nearer…if you're okay with that?"

"More than okay." I nod.

"Good, because I'm really going to need you to stay the night."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Hoping to get some more out tonight. Let me hear it….**


	9. Chapter 9

**GUEST: This will be the only time I address your ongoing reviews. If you don't like the storyline or the characters….don't read it. It really is as simple as that.**

 **Now, if everyone else is ready…on with the show.**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Nine

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ELIZA'S POV

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God, I could literally eat this woman right now. A little dramatic, yes…but holy shit, I did not expect her to turn up to the club. I didn't expect to ever get a call from her again if I'm being totally honest, even if she did reassure me earlier…but she showed up and boy am I glad that she did. She is all kinds of hot and even though I know she isn't overly comfortable with my profession, she seems to be completely embracing it. What more could I ever possibly ask for? I know it won't always be as simple as tonight has been, but god love her…she is really trying. She is trying and it shows me that she is genuinely interested in a relationship between us. Thank god for that since it's all I want right now. I love my job, but I'm finding it a little hard to be away from the gorgeous blonde I'm holding hands with right now. I'm finding it hard to even think when she is around me. I've never been a needy person, but I suspect Arizona is about to change all of that. I suspect she is about to change everything about me, but you know what? I don't even care. I'm fully prepared to go into this with her head on. I'd be stupid not to. All I've ever wanted was a normal life and a normal relationship outside of the club and I've never been able to find that. I know the women I've been interested in in the past were totally not my type, but at one point I was prepared to take whatever I could get. I was fully prepared to live a half happy relationship because it meant I had someone to share my time with. Arizona, though, is totally different. I don't find myself 'trying' to like her. I just do. I like everything about her, and I don't think that will ever change. I'm not sure this woman could ever do any wrong. Not in my eyes, anyway.

My hand gripping her own tighter as I'm reminded of her hands on my body just a short time ago, I close my eyes and bite my lip as my place comes into view. I hope the mood hasn't died at all since we left the club. I mean, she seemed eager enough and honestly…I've been ready for Arizona since the first night I danced for her. Maybe it will become a regular thing, I don't know. What I do know, though, is that this woman is about to come back to my place as more than just a one night stand, and I cannot wait. I cannot wait to smell her on my sheets in the morning. I cannot wait to feel her skin against my own. The idea of waking up beside her tomorrow is a little too much for my body and my mind to take right now, but I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about _her_. Her perfume is intoxicating, and this moment is going to be burnt into my memory, forever.

I may come across as being independent and strong, and I am, but it would be amazing to have someone in my life who accepts me for who I am. Not family and friends, but a significant other. A love. A partner. A… _girlfriend?_ I tend to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself 90% of the time because it's useless allowing myself to feel something, but Arizona has completely changed how I feel. She's completely changed my outlook on life, and love. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the life I have. More than happy, actually, but she just gives me that something else. She just gives me that one thing I'm missing. Emotion. Feeling for another person. I think it's time I had that in my life. I mean, I almost broke down earlier at her place when I questioned her commitment to me, and that is not like me. Not at all.

Reaching my place, I stop before we approach the steps leading to my home and turn to face Arizona. She's been way too quiet on the way over here and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, she could be thinking about things, which is okay, but I get the feeling that she is about to dismiss me. Dismiss this. I'm not sure I could handle that right now. My body is aching for her like it's never ached before. "Y-You okay?"

Her eyes finding mine, she furrows her brow and tilts her head a little to the right. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been super quiet, is all." I shrug. "If you've changed your mind, it's okay. Just…please don't run. Don't push me away."

"Open the door, Eliza." Her gaze dropping, I'm not quite sure how to take her words or her demand.

"Arizona…I just, I want you to know that it's okay if you don't want to come in." Giving her a sad smile, I curl my fingers under her chin and lift her gaze. "I want you to, but you don't have to."

"If you don't open that door _right now_ , I'm going to take you on those steps." _Wow, I didn't expect that._ Giving her a nod as I chew on my lip, my center throbs in anticipation for her hands on my body. I've felt it more than once now, and I swear she actually sets my skin alight. I swear it could burst into flames. My hands a little shaky as I take my keys from my purse, she steps up behind me and presses her body against my own. "I think you need to hurry this along, Eliza…"

"God, I-I can't." I sigh as I try to shake the nerves from my hands. "Dammit!" Her arms weaving around my waist, she takes my keys from my hand and presses her center against my ass. Slipping them into the lock, my body takes in everything that it is experiencing right now and I'm not sure how I'm ever still breathing. "T-Thank you."

"My pleasure." Her tone low as her breath washes over my ear, my body shudders and she pushes my door open. "Now, maybe we should take this inside, huh?"

"Y-Yes." I stutter. Stepping inside my warm and comforting home, Arizona follows behind me and I take a moment to myself to breathe. I have to breathe or I will never get through tonight. Setting my purse down and kicking off my heels, I turn around to face the blonde in my home but she is on me quicker than ever. Her hands roaming my skin beneath my blouse, my center throbs and I know that I won't last long with this woman. I've wanted her so bad that I'm actually imagining screaming her name. Her lips working the skin of my neck, I tilt my head a little to allow her better access. I know she wants me. I could feel it back at the club. I could feel her heart beating as I leaned in and worked her own neck. She just…she wants this. She wants me. Who am I to deny her that?

"I'm going to need you to take me to bed, Eliza…" Her words sending me crazy, arousal pools between my legs and I'm happy that we didn't continue this at the club. I didn't ever want our first time together to be at the club, and I'm kinda proud of myself for holding back. I've never felt that way in that room before, but Arizona makes me feel all kinds that I didn't even know I was capable of feeling. "Right now…" My blouse now unbuttoned, it's slipping from my shoulders and she stands back a little to take in the view I'm providing her with. I mean, I know I'm hot…I'm not the best at the club for no reason…but still, I'm kinda surprised by her reaction to me. "Yeah…" She clears her throat as she slips her jacket from her shoulders and lift's her own blouse up and over her head. "Right now." _Wow…._ I'm seeing her for the first time and she is absolutely perfect. Her body is soon going to be in my bed and I'm not sure I can control myself any longer.

My hands gripping her denim-clad waist, I hook my fingers through her belt loops and pull her into my body. Skin connecting, I know this woman is who I'm supposed to be with right now. I know she is supposed to be here. Against me. Making me feel how I'm feeling. Sending me crazy with want. Tonight isn't going to be about getting to know each other…tonight is going to be about hot sex and I don't even care. I have all the time in the world to get to know her. I'm pretty sure she agrees. I'm actually tempted to take this to the couch right now, but I'm not sure it's what she wants. "I don't think we will make it to the bedroom, beautiful."

"Oh." She raises her eyebrow as I pull her through my living room and towards my couch. "This is as good as…for now." She laughs as I push her down onto the leather. "Mm, any chance of another dance, pretty lady?"

"Always." I wiggle my ass out of my jeans and throw them away from us. Popping the button on her own jeans, she lifts her ass a little and I'm met with pink lace to match her bra. Tugging the offending material down her thighs, she kicks off her heels and her jeans end up across the room. I don't have time to fold them neatly…I have to have this woman, and I have to have her right now. "You know, I wanted you so bad tonight…"

"Well, now you have me." She smirks as I straddle her legs. Grabbing the controller from the table behind the couch, I hit play and my usual workout playlist plays out throughout the room. My favorite…'Often' by The Weekend flowing through the air, my tongue runs up her neck and I feel her shudder against me. "Shit…" She breathes out as I roll my hips down in her lap.

"You love this, huh?" I ask as I climb off of her and my ass grinds down against her thigh, my back to her. "Me, dancing on you. Making you feel good. Having my body to yourself…" Her hands roaming my back, she unclasps my bra and it falls from my body. Throwing it to the floor, she places soft kisses up my spine before pulling me back against her and biting down on my shoulder. "Fuck…" My words more of a moan, she sucks on the reddened skin and weaves her hands around to the front of my body. Nothing but my panties covering my body, she tugs at them a little before I feel and hear them being ripped from my body. My breath catching in my throat, she forces herself up against me and my body aches for her. Everything about her. Quite literally…everything. "So fucking hot." My hair falls around my right shoulder and I glance to my left to find her staring at me intently. Like, she could kill me with that look but I wouldn't even care. She could kill me ten times over and I'd be set for life. Grinding down against her once more, her nails drag down my back…slow and painfully. My skin burning as her touch turns a little softer, I arch my back and she tangles her fingers in my hair.

"Turn around." Her tone low, I've never been controlled before, but right now…god, I'm loving it. I'm loving it more than I love life itself. "Now, Eliza."

Doing as she asks, I'm met with dark blue eyes and I can't help the smile that graces my lips. This woman is so adorable yet incredibly hot and sexy when she wants to be. When she is around me. "Where do you want me?" I moan as my soaked center connects with her stomach. "Tell me what you want, Arizona."

"Spread your legs." She demands. My knees shifting a little further apart, I can't help but grind down against her. She just makes me feel incredible. She makes me feel wanted, and needed, and right now…this is exactly what I need in my life. Two fingers gliding through my dripping folds, I brace myself against the back of the couch and I'm not sure I can handle her touch. I'm not sure I'm even worthy of this woman. "So fucking wet." She moans as she pulls me in by the back of the neck and my lips connect with her own. "Wet and hot." She smiles against my lips.

"Fuck, Arizona…" My words barely above a whisper, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth before releasing it and smiling back at me. "You've got me absolutely soaked."

"Mm…" She nods as her fingertips toy with my clit. "I know, and it's so fucking hot."

"I need you to fuck me…" My tongue running up the shell of her ear, she pushes two fingers deep inside of me and all breath leaves my body. "Shit…" Trying to catch my breath, my legs are straddling her own and she is pumping in and out of me like there is no tomorrow. "Holy fuck!" Dropping my head on her shoulder, she doesn't let up with her movements and in this moment, I swear I'm about to come harder than I have in my entire life. I'm no stranger to sexual encounters, but Arizona is something else completely. She is all I'm feeling and she is all I'm thinking about. "Oh, god." Sucking on her pulse point, she moans and it only encourages her to take me that little bit harder.

"Fuck, you're dripping…" She moans as she curls her fingers and I feel my body preparing me for that ultimate high that I haven't felt from another woman in so long. Sure, I make do with myself, but there is nothing quite like having another woman making you feel good. Amazing, even. "I want you to come for me, Eliza." She smiles as my eyes find her own. Riding her hand, I lean back a little and take my nipple between my finger and thumb. Tugging, it only heightens my arousal and she doesn't take her eyes off of my own. "I want to feel what you've got to give me…" Her eyes focused on me toying with my own nipple, she bites down on her lip and I swear she is going to send me over the edge any moment now.

Leaning back further, I lift up a little only to sink down impossibly hard on her fingers. "Fuck, yes." My head thrown back, she laces her fingers through my hair and tugs my head back a little. Her lips finding my other nipple, she takes it between her teeth and my orgasm builds like never before. "Oh, God!" My whimpers and moans filling my living room, she forces herself a little deeper and I'm done. I'm dead. I don't even know where I am right now. My eyes slamming shut, she toys with that spot inside of me and runs her thumb over my clit. "Y-Yes, oh god…A-Arizona. Fuck, I-I'm c-com-" My own words cut off as I come undone above her, I grip my nipple painfully tight and she wraps her free hand around my waist.

"Take it, Eliza…" Her fingers not letting up, I squirm and buck against her hand and I swear this woman could have me coming time and time again. I know she could. I want that. "So fucking hot." Her tongue running up and between my breasts, she reaches my neck and I glance down at her…my lips finding her own. "So beautiful." She smiles and I know it's genuine.

"Fuck, that was all kinds of hot." I pant as I rest my head in the crook of her neck. "B-But I need you…"

"And you've got me." She smiles. "Come on…" Sitting forward, her hands grip my thighs and I just need a moment to take in what has just happened. I mean, I knew things were progressing with Arizona and I, but this? This is more than I ever could have wished for. My head still firmly buried in her neck, she runs her fingers through my hair and grazes my scalp. "You good?" She whispers against my hair.

"Y-Yeah…" I nod. "I just want to savor this moment," I admit.

"Hey…" I pull back and find her eyes. "Don't ever worry about this being our only moment." She smiles. "There will be so much more of that."

"Promise?" I clear my throat, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Promise you will still be here in the morning…"

"I promise." Her lips finding mine, she smiles against my mouth and pulls back a little. "I want to go to bed with you, Eliza. I haven't quite finished with you just yet."

"Ugh…I'm not sure I can cope." I sigh. "You are too hot for words."

"Right back atcha." She laughs. Her lips finding my ear as I lean in a little closer, she takes my lobe between her teeth and grazes it ever so slightly. "But I need to taste you…" Her tone painfully low, my body responds once again and I know that this woman can go all night long. Good thing I can too, huh? "Now, move your beautiful ass and show me to the bedroom."

"God, I could get used to this…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews have once again been amazing and awesome. That's all from me for today/tonight. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Hit review and give me your opinions…..**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Ten

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ARIZONA'S POV

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God, this woman is intoxicating. Everything about her turns me on and I don't even know how I'm still breathing right now. I mean, her body is pressed against my own. Our legs tangled. Her hands are all over my skin. She's so naturally sexual and wow…in bed? In bed, she is an absolute goddess. Everything she does brings me to the edge, and it has done all night. Even just thinking about her leaves me a little breathless. Just thinking about her makes me want to scream her name for the entire world to hear. I've _never_ been so aroused by another woman. Never. "God, I cannot get enough of you, Arizona." Her words sending my body crazy, she curls her fingers deep inside of me and my back arches from the bed. Her lips around my nipple, she teases and tugs and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on. "You feel so good." Running the flat of her tongue over the swollen bud she has been giving her full attention to, her thumb brushes my clit and the moan that leaves my throat surprises even me. "You gonna come for me, beautiful?" Her eyes dark, I pull her up my body and into a kiss.

"Fuck." I breathe against her mouth as she pumps in and out of me. "O-Oh, God. Y-Yes…right there." Smiling against my mouth, the tip of her tongue runs across my bottom lip and it sends an almighty sensation straight to my core. Like my body doesn't have enough to cope with already. "So close." I moan as she strengthens her thrusts and applies a little extra pressure where she knows I want and need it. "Eliza…" My head thrown back into the pillow, my eyes slam shut and she trails her lips down the skin between my breasts. "Fuck." My nails digging into her back, she moans in appreciation and slows her movements inside of me. "God…what the hell are you doing to me." I pant as my body becomes that little bit more sensitive. "I swear, ugh."

"I'm just making you feel good, Arizona." The loss of contact felt as her fingers glide out of me, she brings them up to her mouth and slips them between her lips. "So wet." She moans as I watch on, my body completely spent, yet throbbing for more.

"I think I may die before this day is out."

"It's only morning." She smirks. " And I allowed you a few hours sleep. What more do you want?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly want anymore." I breathe out as she shifts a little and comes to partially rest against me. "Last night was awesome, by the way."

"Mm, I know." She agrees. "Thank you for staying over."

"You're welcome." I smile as I run my fingers through her hair. "Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine."

"Well, my bed is happy to have you in it whenever you like." A slight giggle erupting in her throat, a silence falls between us and it's honestly the first time I've had the opportunity to think about the change in my life. The change since Eliza appeared in it. It's all good thoughts, and if I'm being honest, I took her job at the club last night better than I expected. I mean, I am okay with it all, but I didn't think I'd find myself there and wanting her to dance for me. I didn't think I'd find myself here this morning, either. At least, not like this. Not totally naked and more than satisfied. Her cell buzzing on the nightstand, she reaches behind herself and brings it between our bodies.

 ** _Hey, gorgeous. What time are we meeting? J x_**

Furrowing my brow, I know I shouldn't be reading her messages from other people but it's hard not to when she has it in full view. It's also hard not to when someone else is calling the naked woman you're in bed with 'gorgeous'.

 ** _12? I have to fit my workout in but 12 should be fine. Where? E x_**

 ** _My place. Maybe we could work out together… J x_**

 ** _You couldn't keep up with me. E x_**

 ** _See you at 12 then. J x_**

Locking her cell, she throws it down on the bed beside her and I fix my gaze on the ceiling above us. I don't know if that message actually means anything, and I guess I don't have any right to question her or what we are. We aren't exclusive and we've only just taken the next step in this relationship that I feel is building between us. Does she feel it, too? Or does she just see this as being a casual thing? I know I've told her that I want this with her…but what exactly is it that I want? What is it that she thinks we are doing? It's not like I know everything about her and I'm ready to meet her parents, but I figured maybe one day soon we could become more than what we are right now. I figured one day soon I'd probably be able to call her my girlfriend. Even if it has to be discreet because of what she does. I wouldn't mind. People have seen me at the club and I wouldn't want her to get into any trouble being seen with me, but yeah…I'd like there to be something more between us. _Don't jump into anything right now, Arizona. You've just had an awesome night…don't ruin it now._

"I don't want to leave this bed." She sighs as she glances up at me. "But soon, I have to."

"Yeah...I should head home and work on my book."

"Any other plans for the day?" She asks as her fingertips graze my skin. "I don't know what your weekends usually involve."

"Just...writing."

"It is pretty amazing what you write, though." Propping herself up on her elbow, she stares down at me and narrows her eyes a little. "What exactly got you into writing raunchy lesbian stuff?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "Figured there was an opening for it, and nobody else is really focused on it."

"No, you're right." She agrees. "I've been looking for something like that for a long time. I was so impressed when I finally found your work."

"I'm glad you enjoy it."

"Enjoy it?" She raises her eyebrow. "If only you knew just how much I enjoyed it."

"Mm…I can imagine." A slight blush creeping up her neck, she drops her gaze a little and smiles.

"Feels kind of amazing having the woman who wrote it all in my bed, too." Dropping her head to my shoulder, she places a kiss below my ear and settles down. "Certainly not how I imagined New York being when I moved here."

"Well, New York is full of endless possibilities," I reply. "You never know what is out there waiting for you. It's what I love about this place."

"Yeah, I have fallen in love with this city. That's for sure." Sensing a change in her mood, I turn my head a little and meet her eyes.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She gives me a small smile. "Just…I have to leave soon and I really don't want to."

"You have things to be getting on with, Eliza." Sitting up on my elbows, she rolls away from me and swings her legs over the edge of her bed. "I'll see you soon, though, right?" I don't know if I'm asking her that question, or trying to reassure myself out loud.

"Sure, you will." She glances over her shoulder at me before slipping a tank top over her head and standing. "Can I get you some coffee before you leave?"

"Coffee would be nice."

* * *

I've been home for a few hours now, and that freaking message is playing on my mind. I don't know why since it's none of my business, but yeah…it's gotten me a little worried. Maybe I should have brought it up. Maybe I should have questioned who it was from. I don't know. Eliza has given me nothing to suggest that she is seeing other people, but I guess it's just my own mind playing tricks on me. I need to talk this out with someone. The only person I have is Teddy. She is the only one I trust enough with my personal life. Sure, we haven't spoken in over a week, but I know she will always be there for me when I need her. I know she will soon see past all of this and give me her honest opinion. My cell in my hand, I pull up the message tab and hit my best friends number into the address bar.

 ** _Hey, are you busy? Az x_**

 ** _Nope. Just walking around the streets since my best friend deserted me. T x_**

 ** _Can you come by? I'm at home. Az x_**

 ** _Sure. I'll be there in five. T x_**

 ** _Great. Let yourself in. Az x_**

Locking my cell, I place it down on the desk I'm sat behind and close up my MacBook for the day. I can't concentrate on anything other than my personal life right now so it's useless even trying. It's useless trying to pull myself away from my own thoughts because it will only make me more insane than I feel right now.

I want to text Eliza and I want to just see her, but that's not how this goes. At least, I don't think it is. She is busy right now and I have to accept that. She is busy with another woman and even though it's killing me inside, we aren't at that point where we question each other. We aren't at that point where it is okay to be pissed about who we have in our lives. She's a beautiful woman so of course, she is going to have other women after her. How could I ever possibly be the only one? How could I ever possibly be the one who comes out of all of this happy and content with my life? It's not how it ever works for me and I'd be a fool to think that this could ever be different.

Maybe I'm too needy. I don't know. My ex broke up with me because of the fact that I wanted us to move in together and even though it hurt at the time, Teddy was right. Anyone who doesn't want to commit themselves fully to a relationship is better off out of my life. Honestly, I'd have been happy with us living separately. Sharing a home isn't for everyone and I guess I see that now. Some people prefer their own space. Their own private time. When I think back now, I guess I should have seen it from the start. Cheryl always found a way to change the conversation when I would bring it up. She would always have an excuse as to why that particular time wasn't right for moving in together. We were together for almost three years, so yeah…I should have known she would never move in. I suppose it's no big deal, really, but to me…it is. It was. When I'm in, I'm all in. Nothing and nobody else matters when I'm in love and happy. Maybe I should just keep this casual with Eliza right now. Maybe I should just go with whatever comes each day and take it from there.

"Hello?" My apartment door opening, Teddy peeks her head around it and gives me a smile. "There you are. I was beginning to forget what you looked like." Closing the door once she is inside, she slips her keys back into her jacket pocket and stands a little uncomfortably. "So?"

"Sorry about last week." I turn to face her fully. "I just…I didn't like what you said about her."

"I know." She gives me a nod in agreement. "I shouldn't have said what I did, and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Standing, I move into my living room and Teddy follows behind me. "I know you probably don't care and you don't want to hear any of this, but I need your advice, Ted's."

"Hit me." She shrugs. "I'm just happy to be here right now."

"It's about Eliza." I raise an eyebrow but she doesn't seem phased at all. _Good, maybe?_ "Are you sure you want to be the one I vent to? Without judgment?"

"Without judgment." She agrees as she flops down on my couch. "I'm here as your friend."

"I slept with her." My words rushed out, I have to say it before I back out. "Last night."

"O..kay." My best friend furrows her brow. "Was it not good?"

"Good? It was freaking amazing…" I laugh. "I just…I don't know if I'm deeper than she is."

"Why? What happened?" Teddy sits forward and studies my face. "Did she ask you to leave after it?"

"N-No." I smile. "I stayed the night. "

"So, what then?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "I'm worried that this may be moving too fast. That _I_ may be moving too fast. She's so gorgeous and the sex? Wow…but what if that is all it is? What if this is just sex. A casual thing?"

"Have you asked her about it?"

"No. And I'm not sure it's a good idea to get into that kind of conversation just yet. Everything is new and fresh. I don't want to ruin that with my own worries. She may not be into that kinda thing. You know…the deep conversation. She doesn't seem like that type."

"Look, Arizona." Teddy stands and runs her fingers through her hair. "Is she really who you want? Like, seriously?"

"She's amazing, Teddy."

"That's not what I asked." She smiles and steps a little closer to me. "You know how I feel about her, and even though what I said was totally out of line, you can dress it up however you like but the fact still remains...she's a stripper. She dances for money and she gives people what they want. What they think they need."

"It's not like that." I sigh. "She's totally different outside of the club."

"But she still works at that club." Her eyebrow raised, I drop my gaze and shake my head. "You have to understand that."

"Understand what?" I ask as I slump down on a kitchen stool.

"That she may not feel the same way as you feel. She is used to being desired. She is used to the attention and the lust people have for her. It's who she is. It's what her job entails. Sure, she may be a really nice girl and you two may seem to be hitting it off, but can you honestly say that you trust her 100%? Can you honestly say that whenever she is at that club, you can be totally at ease with all of this?"

"I don't know." I breathe out.

"So, don't get too attached. Don't fall in head first, Arizona. You have to take a step back and wait for her to come to you. If she really wants something with you, she will chase you. She will call and text and just show up here and make you see her. Make you listen. If she doesn't, well, I guess you know the answers to the questions you have."

"I think I'm just being a little dramatic, but I really like her Teddy. I know you don't approve, and that's fine, but I _really_ like her."

"I know you do." She smiles. "And if you're happy, my opinion is irrelevant. Just…be careful is all I'm saying. Don't get hurt, please?"

"I won't." Pulling my best friend into a hug, she tightens her grip around my waist and sighs. "I'm thinking way too much into this."

"You must have a reason for feeling this way, no?"

"Just…when we were in bed this morning, she got a text. I don't know who from, but it could have possibly suggested that she has someone else in her life, too."

"Look, Arizona…I won't lie, I do get a bad feeling about her. I get a bad feeling about the situation you have put yourself in." She pulls back and gives me a sad smile. "I'll support you, but I don't like where this is going. I really don't."

"I'm a big girl, Teddy. If this turns out to be nothing, I'll hold up my hands and you can give me the whole 'I told you so' speech, but she's nice. She's so much more than what you've ever seen at the club. That is her job, nothing more."

"Then why are you already questioning her?" She asks, her tone soft. "Seriously?"

"Because I'm just being stupid." I smile as I try to reassure us both. "You know how I get."

"Yeah, I do." She agrees. "And usually…you are right. Usually, you are a good judge of character. So?"

"So, nothing." I sigh. "I'll just take it one day at a time. Maybe give myself a few days to think things over. I don't know."

"Good idea." Teddy smiles. "Give yourself some time to figure out what is going on between you guys. Talk to her, or don't. Just do whatever you think is best."

"Thanks for coming over." I smile. "Whatever happens, like if Eliza and I become something…I need you to be okay with it, Teddy. I need my best friend in my life."

"I'll do my best, okay?" She gives me a genuine smile and rounds my kitchen island. "How about we spend today together?"

"Oh, uh…I don't know if Eliza is coming by this evening before she leaves for work." Grabbing my cell from my desk, I pull up our last messages and send off a quick one. "Let me just check."

 ** _Hey…will I see you tonight? Az x_**

"Coffee?" Teddy calls from the kitchen.

"Sure." I smile as I chew on my lip and wait for a response from Eliza. "Maybe we could grab dinner together if Eliza is busy?"

"Dinner sounds good, but takeout is the only option tonight. I cannot and I will not dress up. I wanna lounge tonight." She shrugs as she heads my way with a fresh coffee. "Takeout work for you?"

 ** _Hey. Sorry but this evening is a little crazy for me. I have to be at the club earlier and I have stuff on beforehand. E x_**

"Yeah." I sigh as I realize that I won't see the brunette I woke beside this morning. "Takeout is just what I need right now."

 ** _Enjoy. Stay safe. Az x_**

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome. Thanks for all of the positive reviews on this fic. Not what I expected at all.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Yesterday was a strange kind of day. Sunday's are usually my downtime days but I found myself craving Arizona every second I spent sitting at home alone. Her scent was still on the hoody she borrowed from me. The one I ended up wearing all day and climbing into bed with last night. The image of her on my couch whilst I danced for her playing over and over in my mind, I just…I craved everything about her. Her dimples. Her soft hair as I brush it from her face. Her gentle fingers that she laced with my own on many occasions during Friday night and early hours Saturday morning. I hated watching her leave my place, I really did. I know I have things to do, and I know she does, too, but I just wanted to be in her presence yesterday. I just wanted to sit and relax with her. Weirdly, she didn't return any of my calls yesterday and I don't know why. I called her once or twice and received nothing, and then I got her voicemail for the rest of the evening.

My mind has been working overtime since I got her voicemail but I have no other way of contacting her. I made my way to her place last night around seven but her apartment was in darkness. _Maybe she had to suddenly go away for work._ No, that doesn't explain why she hasn't called me. Even a simple text message to let me know that she is okay would do me right now. Grabbing my cell from my pocket, I hit the message tab and try again.

 ** _Hey, I have the day off work. Can we meet up? E x_**

Locking my cell but keeping it firmly in my hand, I take a right down a street I pass through most weekends and head down, no plans or any idea where exactly I'm headed. My cell buzzing in my hand, my heart skips a beat and I glance down at the screen. Disappointed when I find a familiar name on the screen, I hit accept and sigh. "Hey."

"Girl, that attitude won't work with me."

"What attitude?" I scoff. "I don't have an attitude."

"Mmhmm." My friend Jay has been trying to keep me sane since I lost contact with Arizona, but he knows me too well. "Have you heard from your 'whatever she is' yet?"

"No." I breathe out. "Still MIA."

"Well, you should hit the town with me tonight. See what else is on offer. I need to get you some hot ass to take your mind off of her, right?"

"No, Jay." I smile. "You don't."

"Girl, don't make me drag you out of that god damn cocoon you have going on at home right now. I know how you work." His tone full of disappointment, I roll my eyes. "You ate that entire tub of cookie dough, didn't you? Now you are depressed and disappointed in yourself."

"I didn't touch the ice cream, and why would I be disappointed?" I ask.

"Because you know you will have to work twice as hard to keep that shit from reaching your hips and setting up home." His voice high pitched, I laugh. "Ain't no cookie dough ruining my girl's figure." Crossing the street, I pull my jacket a little tighter around me and rest my cell against my shoulder. "Come by and we will work out. I have a new yoga session prepared for you. Figured you'd need it."

"Yeah?" I ask. "You know, I could use a little relaxation right now."

"I know because I know you better than you know yourself." He states, very confidently. "Get your hot ass over to my place Eliza, and I will make that woman of yours really want you."

"Mm, I'm not sure that is going to ha-" Cut off by a familiar body sitting in the window of a different coffee shop, I furrow my brow and stare intently. "I have to go."

"Go where?" Jay asks. "You're on your way over, right?"

"N-No." I stutter. "I just found her. I'll call you later." Hitting the end call button, I shove my cell into my pocket and head inside the coffee shop. She's deep in thought and looks like she hasn't slept in a week, but I'm so happy she is okay. She is safe. She is alive. Approaching her table slowly, I'm not sure what to even say. Maybe a normal hello would be a good place to start. "Hey…" I clear my throat as she glances up at me.

"How did you find me?" She furrows her brow.

"I wasn't looking for you," I state. "I was just taking a walk."

"Oh." She gives me a small smile and glances out of the window to her right. "A little cold to be out walking…"

"Clears my mind." I shrug. "Can I get us some coffee?"

"I have one, thanks." _She never turns down my offer of coffee. Something is wrong._

"Why haven't you returned any of my calls?" I ask, a little worried about where this conversation is potentially headed. "I tried all day and most of the evening yesterday."

"Just been busy." She sighs. "I have a lot of work on."

"But you could have picked up the phone and told me that…" I study her face and she drops her gaze. "You know what, I'll leave you to get on with your work." Stepping away from the table, I head for the counter and place an order with the barista. This isn't usually where I would buy from, but I need something to warm me up right now. Paying for my drink, I move to the opposite end of the counter and glance back at Arizona. She is chewing on the tip of her pen, and she seems completely out of it right now. She is in her own world. Taking my hot chocolate from the counter, I head back to Arizona's table and pull a seat out.

"Um…" She looks my way and gives me a questioning look.

"What?" I ask. "Am I not allowed to sit with you?"

"I'm busy, Eliza." Her words a little cold, I drop my gaze and give her a slight nod.

"Right, yeah." I smile. "You're busy." Standing, I stare her down and lower my voice. "Maybe you should just call me when you want another dance, okay? Just remember that the fuck isn't included." Stepping away, I fix my scarf a little better around my neck and hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. I knew she wasn't okay with who I am. I knew she wasn't okay with the life I live. That has to be why she is avoiding me. There is no other possible explanation.

Crossing the street, I decide against heading to Jay's place and instead head for home. It's the best place to be right now. I need some time alone. I need some time to process the fact that Arizona has just totally dismissed me. I'd understand if I'd done something wrong, but I haven't. We spent the most amazing night together on Friday, and now she acts like this? I'm done with it. If she had a problem, if she knew she couldn't do this, she should have just said. I'd have been okay with it. But this? The cold shoulder. The avoidance? No. It won't work.

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

God, I feel awful. I never meant to be cold towards Eliza at the coffee shop…she just caught me off guard a little. I didn't expect her to be there and I had to defend myself somehow, so my attitude was the best thing I could think of in that moment. She doesn't deserve my attitude, and quite frankly, she doesn't deserve me to even be around her. I mean, who does that? Who avoids someone because they have a few things on their mind but are unwilling to talk it out? Me…that's who. I'd thought about going to the club on Saturday night but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd done it the night before but I don't want it to become a common thing between us. I don't want her to think that I'm only interested because of her dancing. That couldn't be further from the truth. I'm just struggling a little right now. I'm struggling with the way I feel about her and I'm struggling with the possibility that she doesn't feel the same way as me.

Yeah, I know I should talk to her about it, but we've only dated a couple of times and I don't feel like we are in that place yet. I don't feel like we are at the point where we can talk openly about anything and everything. I'm generally an open person, but being around Eliza makes me the total opposite. She's strong and independent and honestly, she wouldn't want to hear my worries. She wouldn't want to know how scared I am to one day lose her. She's the only woman who has made me feel alive since I broke it off with Cheryl, and I don't want to scare her off with my emotional side. I don't want to cause any problems between us.

That text message has been playing on my mind since I read it, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't stop thinking about it. I guess the fact that she couldn't come by on Saturday has played a part in how I've felt the past couple of days, but it still doesn't excuse my behavior. It doesn't excuse how I spoke to her a few hours ago. I feel terrible for how I acted, and her final words to me are breaking my heart the more I think about them.

Do I contact her? Do I even bother to try and beg for her to come by so we can talk? I don't know where we go from here. _I'd never just call her for a dance. That's not me._ Her voice playing over in my head, I know what I have to do...I just don't seem to be able to do it. I don't seem to be able to pick up my cell and dial her number. I'm a coward, and I don't know when that became my new normal, but clearly, it is. Clearly, I'm nothing more than a coward. Grabbing my cell from the counter, I hit speed dial and hope my best friend has some words of encouragement. "Hello?"

"Teddy, I've made a complete mess of this."

"Of what?" She asks.

"Whatever is going on with Eliza." I sigh. "She found me at the coffee shop on 7th today after I've been avoiding her all weekend. I was awful to her."

"What do you mean…awful?"

"The way I spoke to her, or my lack of words, even. I just…she didn't deserve that." My stomach twisting as her words play over in my mind again, I close my eyes and try to stop this anxiety I have going on right now.

 ** _"Maybe you should just give me a call when you want another dance, okay?"_**

God, I'm such a bitch.

 ** _"Just remember that the fuck isn't included."_**

Tears falling down my face, I drop down onto the couch and Teddy knows I'm upset. Her silence confirms that. She's good at just allowing me to cry and then compose myself. "You know, you seem a little upset right now. Want me to come over?"

"N-No." I sniffle. "I'll be okay. I just needed someone to talk to."

"Well, you know I'm always here for you, Arizona. Just tell me what you need…"

"I don't know." I sigh. "I don't know what I need."

"Maybe you should text her. You know, apologize."

"Yeah. It would be a good place to start, right?" I laugh. "Maybe I'll give it a little while longer and text her a little later."

"I could see it in your eyes, you know?"

"See what?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"How much you like her." She breathes out. "She wouldn't be my choice of woman for you, but I could see how much you like her."

"Yeah…" I smile to myself. "She's beautiful."

"She certainly is, Arizona." Teddy's admission causing a shiver through my body, it hits me.

"I have to call her." The realization that I could lose her hitting me square in the chest, I sit myself up a little better in my seat and pull my legs beneath me. "It's the right thing to do, isn't it?"

"Only you know the answer to that, Arizona. Only you know if you want to try this with her." She admits. "Just be careful, okay? I hate seeing you like this, and I fear it won't be the last time."

"Thank you for being so honest with me." I appreciate her concern. She wouldn't be my best friend if she didn't show concern how she does. Sure, sometimes it's a little too much, but her heart is in the right place. She means well, even if she doesn't show it in the right way. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ted's." Glancing at the clock, it's a little before 8 pm, and I don't even know where Eliza will be at right now. I doubt she wants to hear anything from me, but I feel like I should at least try. Even if she tells me to back off, at least I'll know I tried. Lame ass attempt, maybe, but an attempt nonetheless.

 ** _Can we talk? Az x_**

Waiting impatiently for a response from the gorgeous brunette I almost had the chance to call mine, I fidget with the device in my hand and release a deep breath. There is no way she is going to talk to me. I mean, why would she? Why would she even entertain the idea of coming over to my place, or inviting me over to hers?

 ** _I have nothing to say to you._**

 ** _Please let me explain? Az x_**

I know I'm clutching at straws here, but I suspect that she thinks I don't want to see her anymore because of Friday night at the club. It really isn't like that. I went there off my own back and I knew what she was doing when I reached the club. I knew she was working. So, no…this isn't about her job. Not at all.

 ** _Explain what? How you realized that I'm good for nothing but a dance and a free fuck? No thanks, I'd rather not hear it._**

 ** _That's not true. This has nothing to do with your job. Az x_**

 ** _You keep telling yourself that. You got what you wanted and then you dropped me. Go and fuck someone else, Arizona. I can't be that person for you. Get out of my life and leave me alone._**

Wow. I'm not quite sure what to even say to that message. I'm not sure there _is_ anything to say to it. I mean, yeah…I avoided her, but she really thinks it's because of her job? She really thinks after the amazing experience she provided me with on Friday night, I'd drop her after it. Honestly, I'm a little offended by what she has just insinuated. I'm offended that she would ever think that I only wanted her for sex. Offended, and hurt.

I'm not that kind of person. I mean, it's been a year since I dated anyone, and I'd never disrespect anyone like that. I'd never use someone for my own wants and then leave them wondering. I was just having a bad time processing everything. I was having a bad time with my feelings. Clearly, I could have expressed myself better, but this reaction? It's totally out of order.

 ** _I'm sorry. I won't bother you again. Az x_**

 _And I was thinking the only issue I had was insecurity. This is so much bigger than that. So much…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

This week has been the worst of my life. Nothing seems to be going right for me, and the more I think about it…the more I want to head back to Cali. Back to where my life was once fine and I didn't have a woman on my mind. I know it isn't as simple as that, but I don't know how I'm supposed to get her off of my mind. I don't know how I'm supposed to forget about Arizona Robbins and move on. I've _never_ been attached like this in my entire life, and it unsettles me a little. It unsettles me because it makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel unsafe with my own thoughts. I'm generally a strong woman, and I've never needed a woman in my life to make me feel complete, but this week it's all I've wanted. It's all I've thought about. I know I told her to leave me alone, and I appreciate the fact that she has done as I've asked, but that only makes me want her more. It makes me want her more because it tells me that she is considerate. It tells me that she cares enough about me to do as I ask. I've asked her to back off, and she has. Surely that shows that she has my best interests at heart. Surely it means I matter.

I'm on my final shift of the week, and honestly, I cannot wait to get out of this place. This is the first time since I took this job that I've not wanted to be here. I've not wanted to watch the people come and go. The reason…because I only want to watch one woman come and go, and she is nowhere to be seen. She's disappeared. She truly has gotten out of my life just like my message to her demanded. _Why did you ever say that? Asshole._ I know at the time I was mad, but I thought she would have pushed a little harder. I thought she would have tried to contact me since. _She's way too good for me._ It's true. She's kind and thoughtful. She's sophisticated and intelligent. I'm just a barista and a fucking stripper. So, I'll do what I know how to do best, and I'll work with what I've got. I've got my body and I've got my talent. It's all I ever needed before Arizona, so it can be all I need after her.

Rounding the counter, I catch sight of my best friend and head his way. "Hey, gorgeous." He stands and pulls me into a hug. "You know, you're going to scare away the customers if you don't change that expression on your face."

"Bite me." Pulling back, I slap his shoulder and he throws me a wink. "Come out with me tonight."

"To where?" He asks.

"Anywhere." I shrug. "Somewhere with alcohol. This week has been the worst."

"You know that isn't a good idea, baby." He raises his eyebrow. "You're at the club tomorrow and you know how you hate working with a hangover."

"Right now I don't care. Come on, just a few?"

"I don't know, Lizzy!"

"Ugh! Don't call me that!" I scoff. "You're so fucking gay, sometimes."

"Mmhmm, better believe it, baby girl." His dirty laugh causing a giggle of my own, I roll my eyes. "Lizzy the lezza." _Okay, he's a prick._

"Stop now," I whine. "And my name is Eliza. Asshole!"

"But Eliza is no fun." He shrugs. "Now, come on my lonely little lesbian…it's time to make you look hot."

"Why?" I furrow my brow.

"We need to get you something to play with tonight." He smirks. "All work and no play makes you one very miserable bitch, honey, and my friend ain't turning into no bitch."

"I don't need something to _play_ with. I just need to get her off of my freaking mind."

"And tonight that will happen." He states. "I have a friend." He clears his throat. "I told her about you and she is desperate to meet you. She isn't looking for anything too serious, but you guys will get on like a house on fire."

"You mean you've set me up?" I scoff. "Who is she?"

"Someone who will rock your world like that other one never could." _That's a lie. Nobody has ever rocked my world like Arizona did._ "Just trust me." God, this is a bad idea. I know it is. Jay could be right, though. Maybe I do need something to take my mind off of Arizona. I'm not convinced it will work, but right now I'll try anything. I have to. I'm going out of my mind right now.

* * *

Stepping into a familiar bar, it's a little busier tonight and it's literally full of women. I'm assuming it's ladies night, but I'm sure my gay best friend will blend in with the best of them. The ladies love him more than they love me. It's a fact. Reaching the counter, I figure a shot is the best way to begin the night, so I order a few for each of us. My hips swaying a little to the music, Jay throws me a wink and I know it's going to be a long night. I don't generally drink, and certainly not like this, but it's just one night and I could certainly use it. Sure, I'll feel like death is upon me tomorrow, but if this night turns out how I hope it does…it will all be worth it.

"Come on, gorgeous…time to get you some hot ass." Jay pulls me away from the bar and further into the room and I find a busty blonde waiting for me. "That's her." He leans in a little closer and lowers his voice. "Hot, huh?" _Sure, if you like a woman who is 80% false._ She so isn't my type, but this is only going to be a one-time thing. I know it. A little fun, right? "Gorgeous, isn't she?"

"Sure." I give him my best fake smile. _Gorgeous is Arizona. Not this woman._ Knocking back one of the shots on the tray, I set it down on the table and the unknown blonde heads my way. "Hi." My eyes widen as the burn rolls down my throat and she leans in, placing a kiss below my ear. Turning my head a little, I stop her from kissing the spot Arizona always had her lips placed and instead I find her mouth on my cheek. I don't want her to erase Arizona from my body. I don't want this woman to clear my mind of the woman I was so enjoying spending my time with.

"So, you're Eliza." Her eyes land on my chest and I clear my throat. "They real?" She asks.

"They are, and yes...you must be?"

"Alicia." She licks her lips and honestly, I'm not sure I'm even going to be taking this woman back to my place with me. It's just not happening. "Wanna dance?" She asks as she takes my hand in her own.

"I, uh…I guess so." I shrug as she pulls me away from our table and her hands find my hips. _What the hell am I doing, seriously?_ This woman doesn't have any conversation in her. She couldn't hold one if her life depended on it. It's why she has me dancing. It's why she hasn't taken her eyes off of my chest since the second we met. This woman wants sex and only that. This woman totally isn't for me.

"So, Jay says you're a dancer…"

"I am, yeah." Giving her a small smile, my eyes land on a body behind her a little further back in the room. "Oh God." My words barely above a whisper, I close my eyes and try to breathe through the fact that I'm dancing with this woman when Arizona is in the room. I can feel her eyes on me but I'm too scared to look at her. I'm scared that she is going to be gone when I open my eyes. "You know, um…I could really use a drink." Removing her hands from my body, I step away from her and head back to the table. Jay is smirking as he watches me approach but this is no laughing matter. "She's here."

"Who?"

"Arizona." My voice breaking, I glance her way again and she is sitting with someone else. She is sharing drinks with someone else. _I lost her. For sure…I lost her._ "I have to go."

"Eliza, don't do this. Don't leave because she is here. She's the one who messed this up, not you." Jay grips my wrist but I'm past caring right now. I'm about to break down and _nobody_ sees Eliza Minnick break down. Never. It's unheard of. "Girl, you need to get a drink down you, turn your back, and enjoy your night. Alicia is here for you."

"You are joking, right?" Laughing, he furrows his brow. "That woman wants sex, Jay. Nothing more."

"I told you that…"

"No, you told me she didn't want anything serious. I thought I might have at least got a conversation out of her. Instead, she just stares at my tits."

"So, let her stare." He laughs. "You usually charge people to stare, so I don't know what the big deal is."

"The big deal is…I'm not at the club, Jay. I'm not doing my job. I just want someone who appreciates me for me. Not my fucking body. Okay?"

"Keep your voice down." He whispers.

"Why? Embarrassed to be out with a fucking stripper?" I spit. "The only woman I want to spend time with outside of the club has walked away from me. The only woman I wanted to snuggle with and talk to all night long is sitting across the room with another woman, and she already looks better than me. Me, though? I get the fucking brain dead one! I'm done. I'm leaving. Goodnight." Grabbing my purse, I head for the exit and Arizona stands from her seat. Glancing her way, I give her a smile and the look on her face is heartbreaking. I know she wants to talk to me. I can see it in her body language. I'm the one who told her to get out of my life, though, and I'd never expect her to walk back into it. Dropping my gaze, I push the glass door open and head out onto the street.

The fresh air is a welcome relief, but right now I want to get home. I want to lock myself away and forget about the world….

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

Seeing Eliza tonight has left me feeling weird. Like, I don't know how I feel about our encounter. I don't know what she was thinking when she spotted me. I don't know what I was thinking when I spotted her. That woman she was dancing with was all over her, but I could see she was uncomfortable. I could see she didn't want to be with her. Everything about her body language screamed 'help'. I'm not the one to be that help, though. Eliza asked me to leave her alone, and that is what I'm trying to do.

It's what I'm _trying_ to do, but now I've found myself standing outside her home and I don't know whether I should knock on her door or not. I mean, if she wanted to see me or speak to me, she would have called. She would have approached me at the club. She would have given me something, but she hasn't. All I want is for her to know that my avoiding her was nothing to do with her line of work, but I'm not sure she is interested in anything I have to say. If she is, she has a funny way of showing it.

Realising that I just need to say what it is on my mind, there's no time like the present, right? She may scream at me and close the door in my face, but at least I'll have told her what I think. How I feel. What my issue was. Taking the steps that will lead me to the woman I cannot get out of my head, I ring her doorbell and step back a little. A dim light to the right of my head switching on, my stomach flips and I don't know what the hell I'm doing standing on this woman's doorstep.

The door opening, I find a tired and very upset Eliza staring back at me. "Why are you here?" She asks, trying to clear her throat.

"Look, I know you don't want to hear anything I have to say, and I know you no longer care about anything that involves there being an us…but I just need you to know that what happened last weekend wasn't me avoiding you because of your dancing. It wasn't anything to do with that. I saw something, and it worried me, and so I avoided you. I avoided you because I couldn't imagine the possibility of my fears becoming truth, but that no longer matters." I sigh. "You asked me to leave you alone and I respect your wishes, so I'll go. I'm sorry I disturbed you but I just needed you to know that I wasn't dating you for your body. I wasn't giving you my time or attention for sex. I just wanted to be with _you_." Her door opening a little more, she gives me a sad smile but I've pretty much said everything that I needed to say. "I'm sorry if you thought it was anything other than what I've just said, but in some way, I can understand why you are mad. I should have told you, but I didn't, so that's it." Heading down the steps of her home, I glance back and find her still staring at me, but everything is out in the open now. Now that she knows the truth, she can stop hating me and get on with her life.

Giving her a genuine smile, I step away from her home and make my way down the street. I don't know if my words will make her feel any differently, but they've made me feel a little better. All I've wanted all week was to say that to her. All I wanted was the opportunity to apologize and hope that we could at least be friends. She didn't want my words, though, and I guess I have to accept that. I have to accept the fact that we are both to blame for how this has ended, and we have to move on from it. I've done what I can now, and the ball is in Eliza's court. Completely.

Maybe in the future, we can hang out and drink coffee together, but in this moment…that is one hell of a way off. Maybe even impossible. I don't know. What I do know, though, is that I have a job to do and a book to write, and me dragging my ass around isn't going to help with that. Me being miserable and thinking about what could have been isn't going to get me another bestseller, so it's time to cut her free. It's time to allow Eliza to get on with her life, and I'll do the same. It's not how I wanted it to be, but maybe this was never going to work. Maybe this was always going to end in tears.

 _Maybe I'm destined to be alone._

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. I haven't had the chance to catch up with the reviews from the past two chapters, but I'll get there eventually.**

 **As always, your thoughts and opinions are welcome.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Thirteen

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to the sound of my cell buzzing on my nightstand, I crack one eye open and reach for the device. Eliza's name flashing on my screen, I furrow my brow and hit the accept button. "H-Hello?" Clearing the sleep from my voice, I prop myself up on my elbow and listen to the heavy breathing coming through the speaker.

"Can I see you?" She asks, a little unsure of her question. "I know it's early, but I was out running and I should have come by the other night after the bar…"

"I uh, I mean I guess it would be okay." Climbing from my bed, the cool air hits my skin and I realize I'm totally naked. "Just give me a few minutes."

"Sure." She breathes out. "I'll hang out outside." Her call ending, I rush to the other side of my bedroom and pull my robe from the back of the door. Slipping it over my shoulders, I head out into the living room, barefoot, and make my way to the door. Hitting the intercom, I grant Eliza access to the building and unlock my front door. Leaving it open for the brunette, I head back inside and move into the kitchen. I don't know why she is here to see me, but it will be nice to see her. I hoped I would have heard from her on Thursday night after I went to her place, but it's now Sunday and this is the first contact I've had with her since my speech on her doorstep.

My door creaking open a little, she pokes her head around the door and I motion for her to come inside. She's looking a little nervous but it's not what I'm focusing on. All I'm seeing is the workout clothing hugging her body. The tight material around her thighs and the very little covering her upper body. _God, I miss her so much._ Her hair pulled up into a messy bun, there is a light sheen of sweat on her neck but it only adds to her attractiveness. It only adds to everything I love about her. Well, everything I was once allowed to love about her. It breaks my heart when I think about how little time we spent together. We didn't have enough quiet nights in or dinners out. We never had enough laughing. I didn't get to experience Eliza and everything that she is. I hate that. I hate that I never got to wake with her more often or ask her opinion on my newest novel. I hate that I never got to call her my girlfriend or cook breakfast with her. I hate everything about this past month. The only thing I don't hate is how she made me feel. How she touched me so gently but sent my body and my mind into overdrive with the slightest word. The slightest look. Everything about her left me breathless...but I don't have that privilege anymore. My fears got the better of me and I allowed my silence to take over. I still hate what she said to me and what she accused me of, but ultimately, I guess the blame lies with me. Ultimately, I created this mess...she just finished it off. "Is everything okay?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner."

"Why would you have come by sooner?" I ask. "Why are you here at all?"

"I just...I needed to see you." She shrugs and drops her gaze. "I wanted to come by on Thursday night but then I had work Friday and Saturday night and I didn't want to have to cut anything short or leave anything up in the air. So, I just...I waited until today."

"You aren't making any sense." I give her a look of confusion. "What would you have cut short? You asked me to get out of your life, so that's what I'm doing. I'm staying away from you like you asked."

"You said you just wanted to be with me." My words being spoken back to me from Thursday night at her place, I give her a nod in agreement and she smiles. "Nobody has ever said that to me before…"

"I'm sure that's not true." I give her a sad smile. "You have so much to give, Eliza…and I'm sorry that I ruined that for us."

"No." She shakes her head. "You didn't ruin it. I ruined it with my accusations and my nasty words. You made me feel more wanted than anyone in the world ever has. You made me feel like I _could_ have a relationship outside of my job. I just…you made me feel."

"And you can have a relationship," I state. "Now that I've shown you that it's possible, you can have any relationship you want."

"You said you saw something."

"I don't follow." I furrow my brow and wait for her to elaborate a little more.

"When you came by, you said it wasn't my job that made you avoid me. You said you saw something…"

"Yeah, but it's not important anymore." I wave off her question. "What's important is that you know it wasn't my intention to hurt you or avoid you. You deserved better than that."

"What did you see?" She has a pleading tone in her voice but I really don't want to do this right now. "Please tell me…"

"Last Saturday morning, when we were in bed…" Running my fingers through my hair, I pull myself up onto a kitchen stool. "You received a text message. I just…I thought you were seeing someone else as well as me. I thought you wanted both."

"Seeing someone else?" She laughs. "Arizona, you are the only woman I've dated for as long as I can remember, so why would I suddenly have two women in my life?"

"Because you're gorgeous and I'm not lucky enough to have you to myself." I smile. "I understand that I should have spoken to you about it, and I understand that it was wrong to avoid you…but what you said really hurt. What you accused me of broke me, Eliza. It really did. I just wanted to explain to you why I did what I did, but you wouldn't give me anything. You wouldn't give me the opportunity to make it right. To try to fix things. Instead, you accused me of wanting you for nothing more than sex, and that couldn't be further from the truth."

"I'm sorry." Her voice breaking, she steps a little closer to me. "I was just so mad at you for avoiding me and I never meant it."

"Yeah, you did." I shrug. "It's okay, Eliza. I know I messed up. I hate that I did, but I guess it's just who I am."

"No, who you are is incredible." Her scent washing over my body, I close my eyes and shake my head a little. "Please forgive me…"

"I do forgive you." I sigh. "But you should go and be with someone who can talk to you when there are problems. Someone who doesn't make you believe that they just want your body." It does hurt to think about what she said, but she knows it's not true. We only spent one night together in the two weeks we had been spending time with each other, so yeah…she knows that what she said was wrong. I was nothing more than respectful where Eliza and her body were concerned. "Someone who can make you happy."

"You made me happy, Arizona. You made me _so_ happy." Taking my hand in her own, her soft skin rests against my thigh and it steals my breath. I don't know how she does it, but she actually takes the oxygen from my body. She makes me feel like I'll never breathe again. "Please be the one who makes me happy again." Her eyes finding mine, I study her face and I see nothing but truth in her eyes. "I've never needed anyone before, but I need _you._ I know I need you in my life."

"I think you should take some time to think about this. About us." I'm being honest with her right now, and even though I hate it, it's the right thing to do. It would be easy to take her to bed. It would be easy to forget about everything that has happened and start again, but I need to know that she wants this. I need to know that she wants me. "Even just for a few days."

"I don't need to think about it." She shakes her head and runs her thumb over my knuckles. "I've spent the past few days thinking about it and it's why I'm here right now."

"Who was it?" I ask. "The text message."

"My best friend." She smiles. "I promise you, Arizona. You will only _ever_ be the one in my inbox who I have something with."

"Your best friend addresses you as 'gorgeous'?" I raise an eyebrow. "Wow, I usually get 'asshole' from mine." _Now I feel like a complete idiot. I knew I should have just asked her. I knew I shouldn't have read so much into it._

"He's my gay best friend." She laughs.

"Well, that explains it then." I agree. "Who was the woman at the bar?"

"Oh, her?" She shakes her head. "I don't even know. I mean, we introduced ourselves but she was more interested in my chest than my words, so…"

"It is a good chest." I shrug. "I can see why she wanted to stare."

"She wasn't my type."

"I know." I smile. "I was watching you. I could see how uncomfortable you were."

"But I wouldn't have been if you'd have been in my arms." Her body inching closer to my own, she places her palms flat on my thighs and spreads my legs a little. Coming to stand between them, she curls her fingers beneath my jaw and lifts my head a little. "I don't want to spend another day thinking about how much I miss you."

"Eli-" My words cut off as she presses her lips against my own, her fingertips creep up my thigh and she smiles against my lips.

"I missed touching you." She rests her forehead against my own. "And kissing you." Her thumb running across my cheek, my eyes close and I take in her entire being. "I missed everything about you, Arizona."

"Just…can we start again?" I ask as my eyes flutter open. "Truly start again?"

"I'd love to start again with you." She smiles. "I wish we didn't have to, but yeah…I want that if you do?"

"I do." My lips pressing against her own, she pulls me from the stool and wraps her arms around my waist. She makes me feel amazing, she really does. I don't know what it is about her, but she makes me feel alive. "God…" Pulling back, I drop my gaze and bite down on my own bottom lip.

"What is it?" She asks as she dips her head to meet my eyes. "Tell me…"

"I just didn't expect you to be here this morning," I admit.

"Did you want me to leave?"

"N-No." I smile as I tighten my robe around me. "Just…would you mind if I change?"

"Not at all." She shrugs before waving me away. "I won't stay long." Deciding not to make a comment on what she has just said, I slip off into my bedroom and grab some comfortable clothes that I can lounge in for a little while. I don't know what the rest of this Sunday has in store for me, but things are looking a lot brighter than they did an hour ago.

* * *

Settled down on the couch, we haven't discussed much about the past week. I know Eliza is feeling a little awkward right now, but I don't want it to be like that between us. I don't want her to hold it against herself. It's done. What's been said has been said and there is nothing we can do about it now. We can only move forward and leave it in the past. The past…where it belongs. The past that was once good but soon turned sour. I can see that she is thinking about things, and I want her to open up to me. I know she likes to keep that hard exterior up as often as she can, but she doesn't have to do that here. She doesn't have to do that around me. I want the real Eliza. I'll always want the real Eliza. She's the most intriguing and sexual woman I've ever met, and I want her to continue to be herself. I'd say it was a front she was putting on, but it really isn't. It isn't because I can feel it radiating from her. When she talks to me, how she smiles. When she is toying with my skin. I can feel everything she is feeling.

I don't know how, but I wouldn't change any of it. Maybe we are just naturally in sync with each other. Maybe our minds are wired the same way. Who knows. It feels good, though, I know that much. I know that she thinks the same way as I do. I want to know more, though. I want to know whatever it is I need to know. "Talk to me…" I give her a slight nudge and she glances my way.

"About what?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "What's on your mind. I know you are thinking about something."

"Yeah." She smiles. "I was just thinking about last week. I uh, I was thinking of leaving."

"Leaving what?" I furrow my brow. _Was she going to leave the club?_

"New York." She states. "I just wasn't happy here. I realized I was being rash, but at the time…I wanted out and I wanted to head home to California."

"Do you still feel that way now?" I ask as she shifts a little closer to me and pulls my legs over her own. "Do you still feel unhappy here?"

"No." She smiles. "Sitting here with you is all I need to know that I'm where I should be."

"I'm sorry you thought you needed to leave." Her head coming to rest against my chest, she is still wearing her workout clothes but I don't care right now. I just want things to be okay between us. "If that was my fault, I'm so sorry." Placing a kiss on top of her head, she gets herself a little more comfortable and lies down beside me.

"It wasn't your fault. I made this whole thing worse than it needed to be with my choice of words, so no…that was on me." _I appreciate that she recognizes what she said was wrong, but she cannot take all of the blame. I won't allow her to._ "I want to lie here with you forever."

"Be my guest." I smile.

"I can't. I have to head home to shower." She sighs against my chest. "Can I just get five more minutes, though?"

"Shower here if you like." I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but she's more than welcome to hang here with me. "You don't have to, but the offer is there."

"I don't have any of my crap here." She props herself up on her elbow and studies my face.

"I have enough crap for the both of us, trust me." Her fingertips slipping beneath my baggy tee, my stomach shudders and she smiles as her lips press below my ear.

"Did you need to shower, or?"

"Wasn't planning to." I shrug as she pulls back and gives me one of her looks. "But, if you think I should…"

"Well, I didn't want to say anything, but yeah…you could use a shower." A smirk curling on her mouth, I narrow my eyes and she bites down on her bottom lip. "Maybe you could take that shower with me?"

 _God, I couldn't think of anything more relaxing right now._ "You think, huh?" Climbing off of me, she takes my hands and pulls me up to my feet. My body connecting with her own, she tangles her fingers in my hair and tugs my head back a little. "You don't think we should shower separately?"

"No." Her lips grazing my own, she drops her head and runs her tongue up my neck. Biting down on my earlobe, her breathing is a little heavier than it was only moments ago. "Correct me if I'm wrong…but we have some making up to do."

Pulling me through the living room, she lifts my tee up and over my head and smiles as she catches sight of my naked chest. "You're staring." I moan as she pulls me back in for a kiss.

"I'll stare all I want." She bites down on my lip and moans against my mouth. "You belong to me…" _Oh God…it's going to be that kind of day._ Just what I need.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Will catch up with your reviews in a little while.**

 **Reviews are welcome as always. Stay safe.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Fourteen

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ELIZA'S POV

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I don't know how I've come to be in Arizona's home, but I am. I'm here, and I'm in her arms. How do I feel? Crazy. Absolutely crazy. I have no other way to describe my life right now other than crazy. I know we've both made mistakes where communication and honesty are concerned, but she allowed me into her home this morning. I left her thinking for three days, and she allowed me to come here and discuss things with her. She allowed me the time to talk…something which I didn't do when she contacted me last week. Something I didn't allow her to do when it was all she wanted. I could see the hurt in her eyes as I apologized for my words, and I hated seeing her like that. I hated seeing her look at me with uncertainty. Sadness. Pain. Those eyes should never show that. Those eyes should show nothing but pure happiness when she is with me. It's my aim to make her happy. I don't know how. I mean, I'm just me. But maybe that's all she needs. You know, just me. A relationship. Laughing. Memories. I may be totally off the mark right now with where I see this relationship going, but the thought of losing her again makes my heart hurt. It makes it _actually_ ache. I can't bear it. The thought of not feeling my body against her own is awful.

That feeling of not being able to do what you truly want to do hurts. Thursday night was the longest night of my life. A few times during the night I had to stop myself from calling Arizona. At one point, I wanted to go over to her place at 2 am, but I couldn't. I knew I had the club to work the two following nights, and I didn't want us to be okay but have to leave to work. I wanted to be able to focus all of my attention on her. Just like I'm doing now. I didn't want to have to up and leave to prepare for my shift. It just wouldn't have felt right. I'd have been dancing for someone else when all I wanted was to lie in her arms and feel the safety she seems to provide. Not safety from the world, but just that feeling of protection that everyone craves. That comfort. That undeniable feeling of being her sole focus and vice versa.

Her body warming beneath the steaming water of her shower, my lips are working her neck and honestly, I didn't expect this. I didn't think I'd ever be with her like this again. Words sometimes hurt, and I wasn't sure she would ever allow me to feel her against me again. I wasn't sure I'd ever have the absolute pleasure of having her come undone for me again. That thought alone was heartbreaking. Last Friday she made me feel more amazing than anyone has ever made me feel and I think she knows that. She watched me come hard time and time again that night and she knew exactly what I needed when I needed it. She just gets me. She gets everything about me. "God, I missed you so much, Arizona." My lips working the skin between her breasts, her back arches from the cool tiles her body is resting against and the moan that escapes her mouth is enough to make me weak at the knees. I know I can make her feel good, but now is the time to truly connect. Now is the time to _really_ make her mine. Because she is. She is mine, and God, I want that to be the case for many years to come. I do see a future with her, I really do.

"Make me feel good, Eliza." Her fingers tangling in my hair, she forces me down her body and I smile as my knees hit the floor. "Make me yours." _Oh god. That's hot._ My tongue trailing up her inner thigh, her legs shake a little but she manages to hold herself up. "Fuck, your mouth feels so good on my body." Her words sending my head into a spin, I nudge her legs further apart and run my thumb through her soaked sex. Soaked is an understatement. She is absolutely dripping with want. Completely giving herself to me. _How the hell did I ever get this woman?_ Grinding herself down against my hand, I know she needs more and I'm the one to give it to her. I'll only ever be the one to give it to her. Dipping two fingers into molten heat, she sinks down a little harder and I hit her deep. "Ugh, yes." She moans as my lips envelop her swollen clit and I suck it into my mouth. Her legs shaking, it makes me smile but I don't let up with my movements. I don't falter.

"You taste so good." The vibrations of my words rippling through her core, her grip in my hair tightens and she rolls her hips against my mouth. Fresh arousal releasing from her body, I don't know how I'm holding on right now. Pumping in and out of her, I feel her walls tighten but I'm not quite ready to end this just yet. I want her to feel good and I want to give her anything she wants, but our shower isn't done yet. Removing my mouth from her center, she moans at the loss of contact as I stand and crush my lips into her own. Slipping out of her, she bites down on my bottom lip and her eyes shoot open. "Turn around," I whisper against her mouth. "Right now."

"Oh." Her eyebrow raised, she gives me a smirk and does as I ask. Her palms now flat against the cool tiled wall, I force her body against it and her breath catches in her throat. "You know, you're touching me like I'm your property." She teases.

"You _are_ my property." My tone low, I feel her shudder. "And don't ever forget it." Her legs spreading once more, my nails drag up the back of her thigh before I head back to the place where she wants me. Gliding back in unsuspectingly, her cheek is flat against the wall and seeing her like this is turning me on like never before. Seeing her so helpless because she is jammed between my body is kinda hot. "May I fuck you like you're my property?" I ask as my lips press against her ear.

"Please do." She moans as she steps back a little and bends ever so slightly at the waist. "And do it fast."

 _Oh god._ Something about Arizona talking like this is the biggest turn on ever. The sweet writer who drinks copious amounts of coffee but wants to be fucked hard and fast in the shower is way too much for me to handle right now. But I can. I can handle her, and I'll handle her better than anyone else ever has. "You want me to fuck you…" I tease as my movements begin slow and soft.

"Y-Yeah." She nods slightly as my fingers wiggle inside of her. "Please."

"Hard?" I whisper.

"So hard." She groans as I pick up my pace a little.

"And deep?" I smile as I bite down on her shoulder.

"Deeper than ever before." She breathes out as I add a third finger. "Fuck…" My free arm wrapping around her waist, she leans back into my body a little and my fingers work her like never before. "Oh God, yes." She pants as every thrust hits deeper than the previous. Every thrust pulling her further towards the edge. "Faster." She begs.

"Anything for you, beautiful." Pounding into her, my focus is totally on her right now. Everything in this moment is about Arizona. Her hand gripping the wrist that is holding her up, she digs her nails into my skin and her breasts bounce. "Jesus, you're so fucking hot." My chin resting on her shoulder, her mouth falls open and her breath catches with every thrust I give her. "Everything about you is so fucking hot." Curling my fingers, her body writhes against my own and I know she is barely holding on right now. "I love how you just take me in." I smile as my tongue runs up the shell of her ear. "But I want you to come, Arizona. Come for me." Whimpering as her orgasm builds deep within her, her nails dig deeper into my skin and it hurts. It's a good hurt, though. I won't lie, I'm partial to a little pain in the bedroom. It makes things so much more interesting. "I can feel you," I whisper. "Throbbing and desperate for release."

"Eliza…" She moans as her eyes slam shut. "God, you fuck me so good."

"Touch yourself and come Arizona. Come hard." My arm burning as my movements never lessen, the hand braced against the wall drops between her legs and the gasp that leaves her mouth is nothing short of amazing. "That's it." I moan as her walls squeeze me tight. "Do it!"

"Oh fuck." Her body jolting forward, she releases my wrist and bends away from me. Her hand gripping the wall, she rolls her fingers over her clit and I slam into her from behind. "FUCK Eliza…oh god. Don't stop. Please, baby… D-Don't stop." Her body stiffening, I slow my movements but I don't stop. I want her to feel every last ripple of this and judging by the sounds coming from her gorgeous mouth, that is exactly what she is doing. "Shit, Eliza." Her body ready to hit the floor at any moment, I pull her up and turn her in my arms. My fingers slipping out of her as her walls force me out, she whimpers at the immediate loss and her eyes close. "Wow…" She breathes out as her chest heaves. "Just, wow."

"Hey, look at me." Pressing a soft kiss to her lips, those blue eyes flutter open and I give her best smile. "You doing okay?"

"Y-Yeah." She smiles as her eyes struggle to stay open.

"Promise?" I raise an eyebrow and she simply nods. "I'm so sorry for this past week."

"It's okay." She shakes her head ever so slightly. "I've got you back and that's all that matters." Taking the sponge from its place in the shower, I add a little vanilla and almond to it and lather it up good.

"Let's get finished up in here… I want to spend the rest of this day holding you."

"I'd like that." She agrees as her head drops to my shoulder. "I'd like that so much."

* * *

It's mid-afternoon and we haven't moved from the couch for the past three hours. We haven't moved from this position at all. After our shower, we spent the rest of the morning rolling around in bed together, and now we are destroyed. Our bodies are destroyed. I'm not sure Arizona will ever be the same again if I'm being totally honest. She's been in some sort of daze since we lay down here, and she's barely spoken two words to me. I'm not worried since she has a vice-like grip around my waist, but yeah…she ain't in the land of the living today. My back pressed to her front, she has to be the best spoon in the world. I challenge anyone to take her title, I really do. She may be small and petite, but God, she's so comfortable, _and_ comforting. Her gorgeous hands settled beneath a hoody of hers that I've borrowed, the fire is lit and the movies are coming thick and fast. It's not that much of a miserable day, weather-wise, but this is what I needed. What we needed. I know things aren't going to be perfect right now, but are things ever truly perfect? I don't believe they are. I'll do my damn best to try, though.

My fingertips playing with her own, she hums and nuzzles into my neck. "Thank you for staying with me today." She tightens her grip around my waist. "It's nice having you here."

"I wasn't sure you were even still alive, let alone remembered that I'm here." Feeling her smile again my skin, I glance back over my shoulder and give her a knowing look. "I like being here with you. It's peaceful."

"Peaceful?" She asks.

"Yeah. Just…sometimes my life feels like it's constant. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get five minutes to myself…but being here with you like this is perfect. It makes me forget about the world outside."

"I'm glad you can relax with me." She states. "It's been so long since I've relaxed with someone else like this. It feels amazing with you, though."

"When was your last relationship?" I ask. "If you wouldn't mind telling me?"

"A little over a year ago…" _I like how she can be honest with me._ "I decided to just concentrate on myself this year. You know, stay single. Concentrate on my book."

"Good idea." I smile. "Maybe the best decision you ever made."

"How so?" She furrows her brow.

"Well, you're novel is amazing," I state. "And maybe if you hadn't been single, we never would have met each other."

"Oh, I'd have met you." She laughs. "I'd have _always_ noticed you."

"But, you never would have been at the club if you were involved."

"Maybe not, but you'd still be at the coffee shop and I'd still be staring at your ass all day." She giggles and my eyes widen. "What? It's a remarkable ass."

"You're telling me that you sit in that shop checking me out all day every day?"

"Maybe." She shrugs. "And so what if I am?"

"Oh, nothing wrong with it…but now I know, I'll be sure to add a little more swagger." Throwing her a wink, a slight blush creeps up her neck and I roll my eyes. "Don't act shy now."

"Me, shy?" She scoffs. "Never."

"Mm…" I narrow my eyes and turn in her arms. "I quite like the shy and geeky Arizona."

"Um...geeky?" She gives me a look of complete horror and I laugh. "How rude."

"No, I mean…the writer side of you. The glasses and the chewing on the end of your pen as you concentrate. It's adorable."

"So I'm shy, geeky, and adorable?" She raises her eyebrow.

"You are…" I agree. "But _not_ when you are in the shower. In the shower you are… Whoa!"

"I'll bear that in mind." She smiles. "Maybe we should take showers together more often. I'm all for saving the planet, so?"

"Couldn't agree more." I sigh. "But I have to head home tonight." A slight sadness appearing on her features, she drops her gaze and toys with the string on my hoody. "Maybe you could come and stay the night with me?"

"Oh, I'm sure you have stuff to do. You have work tomorrow, right?"

"I do, but you are probably going to be there anyway so we could head in together." I shrug. "Finish up here. Head to my place. Order in. Do nothing."

"Sounds perfect." She closes her eyes and smiles as my thumb runs across her bottom lip. "Any plans with you sound perfect."

"So, that's a yes?" I raise an eyebrow. "Please say it's a yes."

"It's definitely a yes." She nods. "Without a doubt."

Pulling her down into a kiss, her fingers graze the skin of my stomach and it makes me shiver a little. It makes me want this woman against me forever. I know that's not possible, but any given opportunity, I want to be in her presence. This day has been perfect and honestly, it's not what I ever expected. Knowing that I will wake beside her again tomorrow is unimaginable right now. But she will. She will wake beside me. We will share breakfast together. We will enjoy dinner together tonight. I don't even have a plan. I don't have a plan for anything in this relationship but am I supposed to? I don't feel like I'm meant to have a plan, but I've never been in a serious relationship like this before. I've been in many relationships, but none where I've felt so amazing so early on in the relationship. Arizona makes me feel like we will be together forever, and nobody else has ever made me feel that way. Nobody else has ever laid with me like this and spent their entire day and attention on me.

Maybe I was supposed to be walked out on multiple times. Maybe that was always supposed to happen so that she could walk into my life. If that's the case, I'd do it ten times over if it meant that this was the end result. I'd happily be walked out on forevermore if this woman is what I get for my troubles. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She's freaking hot.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Your opinion matters.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Fifteen

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been at Eliza's place for an hour or so, and we've totally continued where we left off from my place. Once again, we are spooning on the couch and I don't even care that I've done no writing whatsoever today. I'll get back into it tomorrow. I've just enjoyed today way too much to care about anything else. I mean, it's been so long since I lounged around on a Sunday that I was beginning to forget what it felt like. _It feels amazing, by the way._ I spend my entire time writing about love and the perfect relationship that I'd always believed it was a total fairytale. It's why people write about it, right? At least, that's what I always thought. I always thought that it couldn't possibly be true. Nobody could ever possibly be _that_ happy. Even I sickened myself with some of the stuff I wrote in my last novel. Even I shuddered when I read it back to myself. But now? Now I see it. I totally see it. What I have with Eliza right now _is_ the stuff I write about. It _is_ the stuff I believed wasn't true. Honestly, I feel kinda pathetic knowing that I once found it nauseating. I feel pathetic knowing that I once rolled my eyes at people in the street who looked like the had the kind of relationship I write about.

When Cheryl and I were together, it was great. It was everything I imagined love to be. She was kind and supportive of my writing. She didn't ever take me or our relationship for granted. It was great, and it was nice. It just fizzled out for some reason. Well, I say fizzled out…but it was more to do with the fact that she didn't want to commit to living together. I guess I was just hurt. I'd always wanted that other person to come home to at night. I'd always wanted that idea of having dinner prepared when she came home from a long day at work. Taking baths together. Falling asleep on the couch together and one of us waking to find it was 3 am and that bed was a must. She just didn't want that. Well, she did, providing she could go home a few nights a week. I guess in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't really a big deal, but to me it was. I grew up in a loving home. I spent every night watching my parents more in love as the days passed. I woke every morning to find them in the kitchen together sharing coffee and arguing over the crossword puzzle. I wanted that, too. I wanted that someone to bring me my morning coffee and wake me with a kiss on my forehead. Cheryl didn't, though, and that's okay. It's okay because we aren't all the same. My only annoyance was that she never told me. She never once told me that living together wasn't an option for her. I wish she had of because it would have been so much easier to just walk away and not hurt.

It did hurt. It hurt a lot. I loved Cheryl, and she made it no secret that she loved me too. She just wanted to love me from a different house. A house that didn't include me. A house that felt like a million miles away.

Startled by a loud knocking on Eliza's front door, I jump a little and Eliza shoots up from her position on the couch in front of me. "Who the hell is that?" She furrows her brow and glances at the clock. "It's 8 pm."

"Uh...did you want me to use my x-ray vision, or?" Giving her a look of confusion, she rolls her eyes. "What? I don't know who it is."

"Well, obviously." She laughs.

"Then why are you asking me? Why don't you just answer it?" Watching Eliza stand, she zips her hoody up and disappears from the living room.

"OH MY GOD!" A shriek alerting me to another presence now inside the house, I furrow my brow and listen intently. "You're alive. I was going to call the police if I didn't see you tonight."

"Jay, stop being so fucking dramatic and get inside."

"Girl, I thought someone had killed you. You just…you fell off the radar and I didn't know where to look." A high pitched male voice coming closer, I check myself over and make sure I'm wearing clothes. You never know when you are stuck in a room with Eliza. My clothes tend to disappear faster than the speed of light. "Where have you been? Have you been sexing your problems away like uncle Jay does? You know that never ends well, honey."

"Uh…" Clearing my throat when a very attractive guy walks into the room, I give him an awkward smile and he furrows his brow.

"Well, I mean it doesn't always solve your problems but when she's as hot as this one is, have all the sex you can to get the other one off of your mind."

"Jay!" Eliza chastises. "Stop being a dick."

"The other one?" I turn to face Eliza and raise an eyebrow.

"Ignore him." She waves off my question. "He just likes to get involved in business that has nothing to do with him. Right?"

"Well, when my best friend is hurting…it becomes my business." He pouts. "Now, who are you and what are you doing to my best friend?"

"I swear to god, Jay!" Eliza pinches the bridge of her nose and gives me an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, ARIZONA!"

"Oh god!" He holds his hand up to his face and I can see the color in his face already deepening. "Girl, forgive me. I'm so sorry." Moving closer to me, he pulls me up to my feet and into a hug. "She's right…ignore me."

"You must be the guy who calls my girlfriend 'gorgeous', huh?" Narrowing my eyes, his mouth drops open a little and he's finally lost for words. "I'm joking."

"Honey, that can totally stop. I won't say it again." He holds up his hands. "She is, though, wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh, I would definitely agree." I smile. "And I trust you." Throwing him a wink, I move through the living room and Eliza has the biggest smile on her face. "What are you grinning at?" I furrow my brow. "Looks like your friend is here for the duration since he thought you'd been abducted by aliens, so I'm grabbing the takeout menu."

"N-Nothing." She stutters. "I'm not grinning at anything." Her features straightening out, I give her a questioning look and she shrugs a little. "I'll go and see if Jay wants to stay for dinner."

Disappearing into the hallway, I grab a menu and peruse over it for a moment before returning to Eliza and her best friend. Figured they'd want a minute so he can give her his opinion on me. It's usually how it works. I'm not stupid. Satisfied that he's had long enough to say yes or no about me, I head back into the living room and find her hugging something out with him. Pulling back, he turns his attention to me. "Great to meet you, Arizona, but I can't stay."

"Oh." I furrow my brow. "Figured you would."

"No, honey. You ladies have stuff to talk about and I don't need to be in your hair when you are just figuring yourselves out." Stepping a little closer to me, he pulls me into another hug and smiles. "You should join us for one of our yoga sessions, though. I'd love to have you over to my place."

"Sounds…interesting." I give him a slight nod and smile. "Thanks for coming by to check on her."

"She's like a sister to me. You take care of her, okay?"

"I'll do my best." Heading for the door, Eliza crosses the room and sees her friend out. Making my way back to the couch, I flop down and open up the menu for a local Chinese. _Wait, what if she doesn't eat this stuff?_ Shit!

"So, what's the plan?" She asks as she makes her way back over to me. "What do you feel like?"

"Oh, uh…maybe you should choose dinner. I don't know what you can and can't eat."

"I can eat whatever I like." She laughs. "Just have to work twice as hard tomorrow." Shrugging, she takes the menu from my hands. "I like a challenge, though, so I don't mind."

"I wish I could watch you work out." I smile. "It would be all kinds of hot."

"You are free to watch me anytime you like, Arizona. You know that."

"Yeah, I'd look like a right pervert watching you work out." I scoff. "But thanks for the invite."

"And who exactly is going to see you watching me?" She raises an eyebrow. "I have my own private gym, so you're good."

"Private gym?" I smile. "Like, where?"

"Like, out back." She deadpans. "Now, stop getting yourself worked up and help me choose dinner."

* * *

Eliza has been pretty quiet since her friend left and I'm not sure if I've done or said something I shouldn't have. Maybe I was too friendly with him and she doesn't like that. I don't know. I'm sure everything is fine, but every time I look up from dinner, she is staring at me. Honestly, it's making me feel a little uneasy right now. Glancing up again, she is still watching me, so I decide to play her at her own game. My eyes fixing on her own, she gives me a small smile and I return one of my own. "What's up?" She asks.

"You tell me…" My eyes narrowing, she furrows her brow and drops her focus back down to her plate. "Eliza?"

"Nothing." She smiles. "It's nothing."

"Well, it clearly is since you've been staring at me this entire time." Placing my fork down, I give her my full attention and I can see that nervous look in her eyes. "What is it, Eliza? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Her laugh a little nervous, she rolls her eyes and waves off my question. "Honestly, it's nothing."

"No, we aren't doing this," I state. "Look what happened last time we decided to keep something to ourselves."

"Arizona, it's really not a big deal." She smiles. "You called me your girlfriend, is all."

"I did?" I ask. _Oh my god, I did!_ "I'm so sorry." I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable. I never meant to say it without discussing it with her first. I mean, sure, I'd love her to be…but I guess I just got carried away with the amazing day and night we've spent together. "It won't happen again."

"Oh." She looks a little...deflated, maybe? "See, I told you it was nothing." I'm trying to read her right now but she's giving me nothing at all. Like, does she want me to use that term or doesn't she? I don't know.

"Eliza, I'm sorry if I said it without discussing it first. However, I'm not _actually_ sorry for saying it." Okay, so I've put it out there. I've told her how I feel. "If you don't want to hear that, though, I understand."

"I do." She rushes her words out. "I want to be your girlfriend. I mean, I thought that's what we were doing."

"We are." I smile. "I caught you off guard, though."

"Just a little." She breathes out. "It's been a long time since someone has referred to me as their girlfriend, but it felt nice." Sliding her hand across the table, she takes mine in her own and gives it a squeeze. "It felt good."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "Just…when am I allowed to call you my girlfriend? I know with your job it can be hard and I don't want anyone to realize I've been to the club. I don't want to cause you any problems at work."

"It's unlikely anyone from the club would recognize you during the day. They're too engrossed in what they do at night to remember faces. Regulars, yes…but you? I think you will be okay."

"Guess that's me no longer allowed to come to the club, huh?"

"It's probably best if you don't." She gives me a sad smile. "I mean, I loved having you there, but the less time you spend at the club, the better. For both of us."

"I don't follow."

"I don't want anything to get in the way of us, Arizona, and I know as this goes on… As we become more serious, it won't work well. You won't want to see me dancing for other people and I don't want you to see me dancing for other people."

"Right." I smile. I guess she's right. She's done this before. She knows how it goes once people get too attached and can't deal with what she does. So, yeah…I guess I get it. "Sounds sensible."

"Don't ever think I don't want you there, and sure, if you really want to come by one night, I'd never turn you away…I just think it's best if we keep that life separate, don't you?"

"Yeah." I give her a nod in agreement. "I'll miss you, though. I'm going to put that out there right now."

"And I'm pretty sure I'll be missing you like crazy." She sighs. "I just really want this to work, is all. Like, _really_ want it to work."

"And it will." I agree. "There is no reason why it can't. Just…so long as we are honest with each other, this can be great."

"Promise? Promise if you ever have any worries or doubts…you will speak to me? Even if it causes a fight between us, I need you to talk to me about it."

"I promise. I've learned my lesson from last time." I sigh. "No more holding things back. Even if it was something and nothing last time. It just gets blown totally out of proportion."

"Mmhmm…" She smirks and stands from her seat. "Are we finished here?" Giving her a nod, I stand and move a little closer to her. "You know, being alone last week was really crap."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know that being alone, being without you, was awful." Guiding my body towards the couch, she drops down and pulls me down into her lap. "I know it's only been a few weeks since we even met, but I've loved every minute I've spent with you so far."

"You know, you come across as all strong and hot but you're a big softie at heart, aren't you?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly let you in on my secret life." She laughs. "I have to keep up my sexy stripper facade just a little bit longer."

"Oh yeah?" I raise an eyebrow and place a kiss on her jaw. "Why is that?"

"The normal me is so boring…"

"I find that hard to believe." My lips working her neck, she tilts her head a little to give me a little more access. "I told you that I liked all of you…but this you is by far my favorite."

"Maybe I'll only let you in on my secret then, huh?"

"That would be very wise." I smile as I shift and straddle her legs. "Because you make me crazy, Eliza, and I'm not going anywhere. I don't care what side of you I get…I just want it all." Pulling my body against her own, she fists her hand in my tee and brings my lips only millimeters from her own.

"So, I'm your girlfriend, huh?" Her breath washing over me, I close my eyes and smile, giving her a slight nod. "Then I would like to take my girlfriend to bed and show her just how much I love her amazing body."

 _Ugh, she just knows what gets me going._ Climbing off of her, I pull her up to her feet and she wraps her arms around my waist from behind. Guiding my body through her home, her scent is all I'm living on right now. As far as I'm concerned, last week never even happened. As far as I'm concerned, we are good and we are going to try our best to get this right. I know it won't always be perfect and I know that we still have a lot to learn about each other…but we are here, together, and this has been the most perfect day I've had in a long long time.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Thanks for all of the comments on the previous chapter.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixteen

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Rushing down the street, the rain bounces from my body and clearly I wasn't prepared for this kind of weather this morning. I literally have my jacket to keep myself _and_ my bag dry. The bag that contains pretty much my life. My cell. My laptop. My writing. Reaching the coffee shop, I force my way inside and pull the thin material from my head. _Damn it!_ I should have just headed straight home to change, but Eliza is finishing her shift soon and I won't see her until tomorrow. I just wanted to watch her for like five minutes before we have to go our separate ways. This week has flown by faster than ever and Friday is already here. Friday is here to take my girlfriend away from me and I hate it. I hate everything about the inability to spend the weekends together. Sure, she makes up for it when she isn't at the club, but a weekend to ourselves is what I'd love right now. I know I'm only pouting because I know I can't get what I want, but my meeting with my publisher overran, and now I have even less time with my gorgeous brunette.

Heading towards my usual table, I pull my bag from my shoulder and drop down into my seat. My clothes are saturated but I'll only be here for a little while. _Ugh!_ Glancing at my watch, I don't even have an hour left with my girlfriend. I say with her, but really it's just being in the same building as her since she has 45 minutes of her shift left. I can see her moving around behind the counter, but she is busy and she will come say hi whenever she gets the chance to. I hate disturbing her at work, but I miss her. More so today than ever before because we have spent every night together since we fixed things last weekend. Either I've stayed at her place, or she has stayed at mine. It's been nice. _That's a lie._ It's been freaking amazing. It really has. Whether it has been cooking dinner together or lounging around whilst I work on my next book…everything has just been perfect. She has been perfect.

This is when things start to get serious now, though. My publisher has just handed my ass to me for not giving her as much as she'd like, and honestly…I can't blame her. She gave me the chance to prove myself before the release of my first book, and now I'm kinda letting her down. She knows how much I love to right, but I'm not sure she knows I'd rather spend my time with my girlfriend than even look at this new book right now. I love what I do, and it's not often that we are blessed to have jobs we love, but this is all so new and fresh with Eliza and I don't want to mess any of it up. I know she will understand that I have to concentrate on my writing because of my deadline, but it doesn't mean either of us have to like it. _I hate it._ I won't lie, I got a little whiney with my publisher, but she doesn't take any shit from anybody. She's actually quite frightening when she wants to be, but that's what I love about her. She gives you that look and you know in that moment that your work comes first. Anything else in your life is put on hold and the writing is at the forefront of your mind. Except this time, it's not. I was taking in all that she was saying, but I wasn't really paying any attention to it. I know I have to work, but that doesn't mean I can't spend time with Eliza, too.

A familiar scent hitting me square in the face, I glance up to find my girlfriend standing before me with an extra large Cappuccino. "You look like you could use this, beautiful."

"Thank you." Running my fingers through my hair, I settle back in my seat and take in her features. Her absolute beauty. "Busy day?" I ask.

"Not as busy as the one it looks like you've had." She smiles and steps a little closer to my table. "Your meeting was longer than expected, huh?"

"Yeah." Taking my cup from the table, I bring it up to my lips and inhale the aroma. "God, I need this."

"Enjoy." She throws me a wink and steps back a little.

"Wait!" I stop her from leaving my personal space and she furrows her brow. "Do you have to leave already?"

"Sorry, the boss is kicking my ass today." She gives me a sad smile. "We will get a little time when I finish, though. If you're planning on hanging out here a little while longer?"

"Yeah, I can do that." I nod. "Go and relieve your people of their need for caffeine." A gorgeous smile appearing on her face, she turns on her heel and leaves me alone with my thoughts. Pulling my laptop from my bag, I breathe a sigh of relief when I find it dry and undamaged from the rain I've just been caught up in. "Right, let's get this show on the road." Mumbling to myself, I power up my device and glance over to find Eliza watching me. She has that beautiful look on her face. The one she usually has when we are alone together and the rest of the world is shut out.

 _God, I hate weekends…_

* * *

 _"...But she wasn't like the women who had come before. She was the very definition of beauty. She was the one light in a very dark world, and anyone who had the pleasure of her positive energy and her intriguing mind knew just what she had to offer. Herself. Nothing else mattered. She wanted love. She wanted commitment. She wanted life. Elise provided that. She provided that safety net that people have always longed for. She provided that stable environment that enabled people to thrive. She offered the one thing that people have been searching for their entire lives. She offered life."_

Removing my glasses from my face, I pinch the bridge of my nose and release a deep sigh. I want this day to be over already so I can wake tomorrow and find Eliza's name on my cell. I want to wake and think about nothing other than the woman I won't see tonight. I know it just comes with what we have, and I'm okay with that, but this has been a pretty crappy day, and right now I could use her energy. That energy that seems to just ooze from her gorgeous being. That energy that pulls me in that little bit closer every day. Approaching my table, my girlfriend drops down into a seat and gives me a sad smile. "I'll miss you tonight."

"Ugh. Don't even talk about it. I'm already depressed thinking about spending my Friday night alone." I whine. "How much longer do I have you for?"

Turning my wrist towards her, she checks out the time on my watch and drops her gaze. "Twenty minutes." Her tone just as deflated as how I feel, she attempts to pull away but I grip her hand before she does.

"Hey…" I give her a small smile. "Breakfast together tomorrow?" Raising an eyebrow, she gives me an adorable smile and runs her thumb over my knuckles.

"Yeah…breakfast would be amazing."

"Good," I reply. "It's only two nights, right?"

"Two nights is two nights too many, though." She shrugs. "What are your plans?"

"Just heading home. Teddy is coming by for dinner and then I have to get on with this book. My publisher was ready to rip my eyeballs out of my head today."

"Wow, okay." She smiles. "Want me to kick her ass for you?"

"Thanks, but I've got this." I laugh. "Anyway, how are you?"

"Good, I guess." Shrugging, she stands and rounds the table. "Can I sit with you?" Nudging me along the booth a little, she places her hand on my thigh and it makes my heart speed up a little. Sensing that she's doing things to my body unintentionally, she pulls her hand away but I stop her. "Sorry, I just…"

"Don't." I glance her way and smile. "It's nice."

"Okay then." She gives me one of those adorable dorky grins she sometimes has going on and leans in, placing a kiss below my ear. "Promise I can see you tomorrow morning?"

"Of course, you can." I furrow my brow. "I'll get into this book tonight and then tomorrow is all ours. Screw what my publisher says."

"Why? What did she say?"

"Just that I have to focus on my work and everything else in my life has to take a back seat."

"Okay." Eliza scoffs. "So, I really don't like your publisher."

"She's alright." I place my hand over her own and give it a squeeze. "She got me to where I am, so I owe her, I guess."

"I get that, but it means I'll see less of you." Her gaze dropping, I curl my fingers beneath her chin and give her a knowing look. "Sorry."

"Don't ever be sorry for wanting to spend more time with me, Eliza. And you don't have to see me less. I'll just be a little less focused on just us if you come over, but I want you in my space with me. I want you in my home, even if I am a little crazy busy when you come by."

"I don't want to get in your way, or in the way of your awesome work."

"And you won't be," I reply as I narrow my eyes. "Just…maybe we have to set a few boundaries."

"Like…" Her own eyes narrowing, she gives me a smirk and she knows exactly what I'm saying.

"Like…keeping our hands to ourselves until the evening."

"Okay, that would probably make things even hotter so yeah, I can work with that. I can definitely work with that."

"I still maintain that showering together saves time, though." Raising an eyebrow, she gives me a nod in agreement. "So don't even think about changing that up."

"Right. I mean, it's not like you can write whilst you are in the shower, so I wouldn't _exactly_ be disturbing you." She laughs. "And who knows…maybe it will give you a little inspiration."

"Oh, trust me…you have given me plenty of inspiration so far. It just needs putting into _appropriate_ words."

"I don't follow…"

"In my book." I shrug. "Figured I could use the woman who has given me a little happiness lately. If you wouldn't mind? Name changes, of course."

"You'd use me in your novel?"

"I use what inspires me, and right now…that is you, Eliza. I'd be a fool not to. I totally get it, though, if you wouldn't be comfortable with it."

"No, go for it." She nods. "Just…can we discuss it some more when we have more time?"

"You know it." I smile. "I really don't want you to go."

"I know, baby." My heart fluttering at her term of endearment, she places a soft kiss on my lips and smiles against my mouth. "But I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Yeah…" I breathe out. "Why are you at the club so early tonight?"

"Oh, just a monthly meeting. We all grab dinner together before it and then by the time it's over, it's usually just before my shift starts so I take a little time to myself to prepare for the evening." She shrugs. "Usually it's full on and I don't get much time, so it's nice to be able to do things a little slower."

"Yeah, I'd imagine it gets a little crazy around there." I smile. "You being their number one." Fridays are the worst for Eliza, she doesn't stop. It's full on from the moment her shift starts and most Fridays, she's lucky to be out before 2 am. I hate knowing that she walks home alone at that time in the morning, but she insists that it clears her head and brings her out of her evening. Her act, if you like. "You'll be safe, though?"

"I always am, beautiful." Checking my watch again, she gives me a groan and squeezes my hand. "I should really go."

"Yeah, sure." I nod. "Call me when you wake, okay?"

"Sure, I'll call you after my workout." She smiles.

"No," I state. "When you wake. And text me when you get home tonight. Sure, I'll be sleeping, but I just want to know that you got home, okay?"

"Arizona…"

"Please?" I beg. "Just a real quick message to say you are safely locked away at home."

"Okay." She nods as she stands. "I promise to let you know when I'm home." Giving me a final smile, my heart sinks into my stomach and I know tonight is going to be one of the longest ever. Usually, she would come by for dinner first, but her monthly meeting doesn't allow that this evening. _Fucking meetings!_ "See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Eliza."

* * *

 _"...Because regardless of the situation they found themselves in, they knew they had each other. They knew that nothing and nobody else in the world mattered so long as they knew the truth. So long as they felt that undeniable connection. She would move heaven and earth to make Elise happy, and she knew. She knew that people could come and go. People could disappear around them and they would still thrive. They'd thrive because, despite the worry that rested in the back of her mind, Elise was the one for her. Her one true love. That eternal flame. The one she could rely on time and time again no matter the situation."_

"Did you want wine?" Teddy's voice pulling me from my work, I glance back and give her a nod, followed by a smile. "Red or white?"

"Oo, red tonight," I reply. "You don't have to hang here, Teddy. I'm sure you have stuff to do."

"Hey, it's Friday night…I want to hang with my best friend." She gives me a hard glare. "Even if said best friend is typing away like there is no tomorrow."

"Yeah, I just want to get as much finished as I possibly can. I'm busy tomorrow."

"With…" She draws out. "Eliza, I assume?"

"You assume correctly." I give her my best smile. "So, yeah…need to get on."

"Is she pressuring you?" Teddy's words hitting me, my finger stop typing and I turn in my seat to face her fully.

"Excuse me?" Removing my glasses, I pull my hair up out of my face and fix it into a messy bun on top of my head. "Pressuring me?"

"Yeah." My friend shrugs as she rounds the couch and crosses the distance. Handing me a glass of wine, she moves back a little and takes a seat on the edge of the coffee table. "You never work yourself like this on a Friday night."

"No, my publisher is pressuring me."

"Ugh. Tell that bitch to take a hike." She scoffs. "I don't know who she thinks she is sometimes. All she does is demand."

"Um, because she's my publisher." I deadpan. "So, it kinda makes sense, no?"

"Whatever." She shrugs. "So, where is _she_ tonight?"

"Who?" I play stupid. Teddy hasn't once asked about Eliza and she has been here for a few hours now. Usually, she can't wait to have a dig. I know she is trying, and I know she'd sooner say nothing at all than pretend to like her, but I know what's coming. I know, because she's had a couple of drinks and she gets a foul mouth when she has alcohol in her hand.

"Eliza." She rolls her eyes. "Why isn't she here? Shouldn't you be spending the weekend together?"

"She's working. I'll see her in the morning."

"Ah, working." Teddy laughs. "The club, right?"

"Teddy," I warn her. "Please don't start all of this again."

"All of what?" She holds up her hand and feigns knowledge of what I'm talking about. "She would rather be working than with you? Says a lot really."

"Teddy, it's her job. It's her career. She can't just take the night off work because she wants to be with me. It doesn't work like that." I laugh. "Why do you hate her so much? I mean, the people you mix with, and you have the audacity to take a disliking to my girlfriend?"

"The people I mix with don't play a part in my life. They don't affect what I do. They don't climb into bed with my best friend." She shakes her head and stands. "And now you are calling her your girlfriend?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I furrow my brow.

"Honestly, I figured it would fizzle out." She shrugs. "I thought after all of that last week…you would have realized that she wasn't your type. Because she really isn't, Arizona. Nothing about her is your type."

"How the hell do you know what my type is?" I can't stop the laugh that erupts from my throat. "Like, how?"

"Of course, I know your type." She furrows her brow. "We've been joined at the hip for what? Ten years…more?"

"We have, yes." I agree. "But that doesn't give you the right to say what you want about my love life, and it certainly doesn't give you the right to assume you know what I want, or what is good for me, Teddy." Standing, I move closer to her and she stops pacing the floor. "You said you were going to try. You said you would support me."

"I'm trying." She sighs and glances at the clock. "But it's almost 11 pm and you are spending the evening with me when _she_ should be here."

"She's working for the love of God."

"I know…you said." She states. "Answer me this." She raises an eyebrow and I give her a nod. "If you guys become serious…"

"We are serious." I cut in.

"Are you going to ask her to quit?"

"Quit what? Her job?" I ask, incredulously. "Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because it's inappropriate, Arizona. Don't you see that?"

"Uh, no." I wrinkle my nose. "What I see, is a strong independent woman who does what she loves and doesn't care about people's opinions."

"Or having people's hands all over her." She mumbles.

"Have you finished?" I ask, a knowing look on my face. "Have you finished analyzing my life and who I bring into it?"

"Yeah." She sighs. "I just...I'm struggling with this, Arizona. I'm really struggling."

"Well, don't." I smile. "If I'm not, you shouldn't."

"You're really okay with everything?" She asks, and I know it's a genuine question. "Honestly…"

"I am." I smile as I'm reminded of the person my girlfriend is when she is here alone with me. Sweet. Adorable. Caring. "I know I wasn't sure the last time we spoke about it, but I've spent this entire week with her Teddy, and she is incredible."

"In the bedroom, or?"

"No." I laugh. "Well, yes…but that isn't where I was going with this. You would actually love her. If you didn't know what her weekend job was, you'd think she was amazing. She's totally the opposite to what you see at the club. She's so sweet."

"Nice." She gives me an awkward smile. "I'm happy for you."

"No, you're not." I roll my eyes. "But if you could try a little harder, that would be awesome." A knock on my door pulling us both from our conversation, I furrow my brow. "Have you been pissing off my neighbors again?"

"What? No!" She laughs. "I haven't even played any music yet. The night is only young."

"Yeah, right." I scoff as I approach the door. "The night may be young, but we're not."

"Speak for yourself." She flips me the finger and laughs. "I'm young and hot."

Unlocking my apartment door, I pull it open and the biggest smile appears on my face. My girlfriend is standing before me and honestly, my heart is pounding in my ears right now. "Eliza…" I open the door wider and she catches sight of Teddy. "What are you doing here?"

"Just…managed to finish early." She shrugs. "But I can leave. You weren't expecting me and you're busy."

"No, come in." I take her hand in my own and pull her through my door. "How did you get off early? It's Friday night…"

"I'll explain later." She switches her gaze between myself and Teddy and I realize she is uncomfortable speaking about her job in front of my asshole best friend. _Can't say I blame her._ "Should I just see you tomorrow?"

"No, stay." Teddy cuts in. "Arizona hasn't stopped pining over you all night. Right?"

"She's right." I shrug. "Can I get you something to drink?" I ask as she shrugs off her jacket and reveals a _very_ low cut blouse.

"No, um…could I take a shower? Would you mind?"

"Knock yourself out." I place a kiss below her ear and her scent almost knocks me to the floor. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." She breathes out. "I'll just be five, okay? Want to get this crap off of my face."

"Yeah, I can't say I'm a fan of the heavy makeup." Throwing her a wink, I can feel Teddy's eyes on us and I know she is watching our interaction. If she's not careful, I'll give her something to truly watch. "Prefer you as you are." Taking my glass between my teeth, I narrow my eyes and a slight blush creeps up her neck. "Go and relax. I'll see you in a few."

"Okay." Stepping past my best friend, she gives her a small smile and clears her throat. "Good to see you, again."

"Yeah, you too," Teddy replies. Watching her disappear through the living room, she heads into the bathroom and closes the door. Glancing back my way, Teddy gives me a small smile and I drop down in my seat. "So, is that some sort of agreement you guys have going?"

"What?" I furrow my brow, totally lost as to what she is asking me.

"Showering after the club? You know, before you guys get handsy?"

"Teddy!"

"What? It's a perfectly acceptable question." She shrugs. "You don't know who's been in her room tonight."

"Really?" I scoff. "You just actually went there?"

 _God this woman is infuriating sometimes. She really is._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Standing under the steaming water of Arizona's shower, I kinda wish she was in here with me right now. I mean, I knew Teddy was coming by for dinner but I guess it was just wishful thinking that she would be gone by now. I should have known they would probably spend the evening together, I just wish that she would take to me a little better than she has so far. I wish she would welcome me into their relationship and see past what she knows about me. It's not who I am. It doesn't define me as a person. I fear she will never see through it, though, and I'll be forever going around in circles where the dirty blonde is concerned. I'm generally not bothered if someone doesn't like me, but this is Arizona's best friend, and that matters to me. It matters because I don't want any of this to come between us and I don't want her to fall out with her best friend. I never seem to be able to just have it all, though, huh?

I heard what she said when I left the room. I heard her comment about showering, and now I find myself scrubbing my body of any residue. My skin is red and sore and I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I'm so bothered about what she thinks. I guess she is right, though. I have had people's hands all over me all night, so Arizona deserves to have a fresh girlfriend in front of her when I leave this bathroom. The hot water hitting the areas I've washed a little harder, it burns but it's not so bad. A little lotion after showering and it will be okay. I've never been worried about my body or what people think of it, but right now, I am. I'm paranoid that Arizona will take what Teddy has said and not want to touch me. I'm worried that she will ask me to leave instead of staying the night. I'm not sure I could take that rejection if she asked me to leave. I'm not sure I could ever face her again if she felt the same way as her friend does. I mean, sure…she seems fine right now, but I don't know what crap Teddy is filling her head with. I don't know what she has said to her since I locked myself in this bathroom. I don't know, and I kinda don't like it.

Turning off the taps, I step out and wrap myself up in a fluffy towel that smells of my girlfriend. It's comforting. It's soft. It's just like Arizona is hugging me. _God, I wish she was._ Glancing over myself in the mirror, I sigh and drop my towel a little. I'm hot, I know I am. That doesn't mean that my body is only there to be looked at, though. It doesn't mean my body is my only talent. My only benefit. I'm smart, and I'm kind. I'm an awesome friend. One who will do anything for anyone. I'd give my last dime to the people I care about if they needed it. My body is simply my shell. Beneath that, there is so much more to Eliza Minnick. So much more than Teddy would ever be fortunate enough to see. If she doesn't like me, that's okay. She isn't my priority. She isn't my business. Arizona is the only one I care about in this apartment right now. Arizona is the only one who's opinion matters. Teddy can take a hike for all I care. I mean, ideally…I'd like her to be on board with our relationship, but if she can't do that…if she cant see past the small detail of my profession, then that is her loss. I don't imagine Arizona would be overly impressed by her friend's comment but I wouldn't expect her to call her out on it. It's just her opinion and one that she is more than entitled to. It's just a shame it's the wrong opinion.

Pulling on a pair of yoga pants, I slip an oversized tee over my head and allow it to drop over my body. My damp hair pulled up and into a messy bun, I take a few deep breathes and prepare myself for the onslaught I'm likely to face on the other side of the door I'm standing behind. _I just wanted to settle down and relax with my girlfriend._ I'm not bothered that her friend is here. It is her place after all, but I won't be talked down to and I certainly won't sit in the same room as this woman if she is going to offend me for the rest of the night.

Straightening my shoulders out, I release a deep breath and pull the door open. Knowing that right in front of me is the living room, I have to prepare myself before I step out. I don't have time to look uncomfortable or nervous. I don't have time to be anything other than the front I can put on when I need to. Stepping out of the bathroom, I put on my best fake smile and head for the only woman I've thought about all night. "Hey…" She smiles. "Nice shower?"

"Sure." I nod. "Can I get you guys a refill?" Taking Arizona's glass from her hand, she gives me an adorable dimpled smile and blows me a kiss. I think she may be a little tipsy, but it doesn't phase me. I choose not to drink, but being around people and drink doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's actually quite enjoyable watching others drink and sit imagining their hangover the following morning. Knowing that I'll wake refreshed is always worth it. "Teddy?"

"I'm okay, thanks." She clears her throat. "I'll help myself in a minute."

"Fine." I shrug. "You know…" Heading into the kitchen, I refill my girlfriend's wine glass and head back to the couch she is sitting comfortably on. "…I don't have any infections. Sexual, that is."

"Excuse me?" Teddy snorts.

"I mean your glass clearly needs refilling, yet you chose not to take up my offer to take care of that for you…"

"Because I'm fine as I am right now." She rolls her eyes. "Chill out and sit down."

"Um…" Glancing at my girlfriend and then switching my gaze back to Teddy, I shake my head. "Who exactly are you talking to?"

"Well, I only see one person running their mouth right now." She sits forward a little.

"Enough, Teddy!" Arizona cuts in. "Give it a rest already."

"You are more than welcome to hang with us right now, but lose the attitude. I want a relaxing night with my girlfriend and you know I couldn't care less if you were here or not." Dropping down beside Arizona, I place a soft kiss on her lips and she smiles. "Hi, beautiful."

"Hey." Blue eyes closing, she shifts a little closer and gets comfortable against my body. "Work okay?" She asks.

"Work was fine." I nod. "Same old."

"You guys are freaking crazy." Teddy stands and holds up her hands. "I don't know what the hell you are doing, Arizona, but really…it has to stop."

"That attitude still seems to be present in the room." I raise an eyebrow and Teddy simply stares at me. "You can leave if you aren't going to say anything nice."

"Y-You're going to let her speak to me like that?" Teddy asks, her attention now fixed on her best friend.

"Seems I am." Arizona shrugs. "When you can stop with the stupid comments, I'm sure Eliza will be more than happy to get to know you."

"Yeah, uh…I'm not sure I want any part in this." She laughs as she motions between us. "It's a joke." Unravelling myself from my girlfriend's body, I stand and approach Teddy. This woman is just about ready to make me blow and I really don't want that. I really don't want to cause a scene. Arizona doesn't need it, and quite frankly…neither do I. "What?" She looks me up and down.

"What is your problem with me?" I ask, my eyes narrowing.

"I don't like you." She spits.

"Well, I think we established that a while ago, but why? What have I done to you…personally?"

"Get out of my face, Adria." _Calling me by my stripper name?_ She knows what she's doing. She's trying to turn Arizona against me. She's trying to make her see that Adria is who I am. That Eliza doesn't exist. Arizona knows that couldn't be further from the truth, though.

"Ah, you only see me as Adria, not Eliza." I smile. "I guess dancing in _your_ lap the day after you brought Arizona by left a mark on you, huh?"

"What?" She laughs, nervously. "Don't be ridiculous."

"You what?" Arizona stands. "Y-You paid for her?"

"I wasn't going to say anything about it, but clearly there are some issues here and I guess they need working out, right?"

"I-I…" Teddy drops her gaze and shakes her head. "Arizona…"

"You bitch!" She scoffs. "You have spent the past few weeks trying to make me feel bad about my decision to date Eliza, and you have had her on _your_ lap? What…are you in the fucking closet or something?" She laughs.

"Y-Yes," Teddy admits. _Wow, okay!_

"O-Oh." Blue eyes widening, I smile and shrug my shoulders. "Um…"

"I guess we've figured out what the problem is here." Returning to my seat, I leave Arizona and Teddy standing silently in the middle of her living room. "Now, would you like a refill or not, Teddy."

"P-Please…" She clears her throat. "If you wouldn't mind. Make it a large."

"Teddy?" Arizona catches her attention. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't." She shrugs. "I don't know why, but I just couldn't."

"Couldn't what? Tell me that you are into the ladies, or that you paid for Eliza?"

"Both." She sighs. Silently returning to the living room, I approach my girlfriends best friend and hand her a large glass of white. "I mean, I didn't go to the club once I knew you two were something, but yeah…Eliza knows I've been there _a lot_ before then. Why do you think it was so easy for me to drag you there?"

"I just thought you were having a crazy weekend. I figured it was just some fun. I didn't know it was your usual place to go." She furrows her brow. "Fuck, Teddy! Why didn't you just tell me? I'm your best friend, _and_ gay…did you really think I was going to judge you?" I'm actually feeling a little sorry for Teddy right now, but I couldn't be the one who told Arizona all of this. Yes, I may have let it slip that she had received a dance from me, but the rest is for Teddy to tell. She used to come by at least once a weekend, and yeah…she always booked me. She's just a client to me, but this is their friendship we are talking about here. I don't want it to end up broken because Teddy couldn't grow a pair and tell her friend the truth. "Has she been back since?" Arizona glances down at me.

"No." I shake my head. "At least, not to me."

"Ugh! Teds. You've seen my girlfriend naked." Pacing the floor, Arizona takes a few deep breaths and looks my way again. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"It's not my business to tell, Arizona." I give her a sad smile. "This is between you guys. It just so happens that I'm the one who you both love to pay." Trying to lighten the mood, I shrug but Arizona isn't feeling the fun side to this right now. "Sorry."

"Might have known you would think this was funny." My girlfriend rolls her eyes playfully. "You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Nope, actually I'm not." I stand. "Maybe I should give you guys some space to talk. I'll head to bed." Placing a kiss below my girlfriend's ear, I head for Teddy and place my hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze before leaving the room and allowing them some time alone. Her friend has just come out to her so I'm sure they both need a little time to process. Hell, even I need some time to process this. It wasn't my intention to get the ball rolling, but I'm not prepared to receive verbal abuse from her because she is in denial.

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

I don't even have any words right now. I mean, Teddy being gay is a surprise to me, but I'm more shocked by the fact that she frequents the strip club every weekend. I guess I should have known by how against it she was or seemed. I should have known by her reaction to me dating a stripper. How the tables have turned, huh? "Teds?"

"What?" She sighs, unable to look my way.

"Talk to me…" I drop down to the couch and take her by the hand. Pulling her down beside me, I can see she has unshed tears in her eyes and it breaks my heart. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"Because this is so fucked up." She cries. "All of this is a mess."

"Why?" I ask. "Why is any of this a mess?"

"Oh, come on, Arizona." She scoffs. "I've been paying your _now_ girlfriend so I could perv at her for weeks. Every weekend. Sometimes both nights. Why did you think I didn't want you to be with her? I knew this would get out."

"Wait, are you saying that you wanted to be with Eliza?" I furrow my brow.

"No." She sighs. "I mean, I don't know."

"Wow, okay." I breathe out. "So, we have to figure this out."

"I mean, I didn't want to be at that club every weekend, but I just couldn't stay away." She admits. I'm happy that she is opening up to me, but I don't know what to do with any of this information. Does she want Eliza? Like, is she genuinely attracted to her? "I'm so sorry, Arizona."

"For what?"

"Not being honest with you." She gives me a sad smile and tightens her grip on my hand. "Just…my head has been a mess and I should have spoken to you. I should have confided in you, but I didn't so I'm sorry."

"I just need to know that you are okay, Teddy?"

"I am." She nods. "Surprisingly, I am."

"Good." I pull her into a hug and she releases a deep sigh. "I don't ever want you to hold anything like that back again. I'm your best friend and you should always be able to come to me and tell me what is on your mind."

"And I will. From now on, I definitely will." Pulling back, she stands and straightens herself out. "I should go." She smiles. "I'll come by tomorrow or Sunday and apologize to Eliza, okay? I know she isn't the bad guy in this…I just needed someone who I could take my anger out on. I'm sorry she was that person."

"I'm sure she will forgive you." I smile. "Do you want me to call you a cab?"

"No, I need the fresh air." She pulls her jacket on and grabs her cell from the counter. "Can we just keep this between ourselves for now? I need some time to process the fact that I've just come out to you."

"Of course." I nod. "It isn't my news to tell, Teddy. You can trust me, okay?"

"Thanks." Heading for the door, she pulls it open and steps out into the corridor.

"Just…do I have to worry about you being around Eliza?" It's a genuine question and I feel like I have every right to ask it.

"No." She shakes her head. "I'd never do anything like that, Arizona. Eliza is with you." _Damn right she is, and Teddy better remember that._

"Okay…" I clear my throat. "Call me when you get home, okay?"

"I, uh…I'm going to take a walk first." She drops her gaze.

"You're totally going to the club, aren't you?" I laugh and she nods. "Well, enjoy…and behave yourself."

"Bye, Arizona." She smiles. "Thanks for not freaking out."

"Nothing to freak out about." I shrug. "Call me if you need me." Disappearing down the hallway, she turns the corner and I close the door. Locking up for the night, I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and head for my bedroom. Knowing my girlfriend is behind the door I'm about to open makes me feel a little better. I didn't expect to see her tonight, so yeah…having her in my arms tonight is going to be perfect. "Hey." I smile when I find her sat up against the headboard. "Figured you'd be sleeping."

"And miss the opportunity to kiss you goodnight?" She raises her eyebrow. "I don't think so."

"Well, when you put it like that…it makes sense." Climbing into bed beside Eliza, I sit back against the headboard and glance at her. "That was a crazy night, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She agrees. "I'm sorry if I hurt Teddy by bringing up the fact that I've danced for her."

"Don't be." I shrug. "Now it's out in the open…she can deal with it all. She was clearly struggling."

"You think?" My girlfriend asks. "I mean, she always seemed fine when she was at the club. That's why I was so shocked by how she treated me since I met you. I get that she wouldn't want it to get out, but she should have just asked me and I'd have reassured her. She didn't have to try and push me away. I'd just had enough, Arizona. I was sick of her treating me like she had just stepped in me on the street."

"And I'm proud of you for standing up to her. Whether she has demons or not, she should never have spoken to you like that or treated you how she has. It does make a little more sense now, though."

"What does?" Eliza furrows her brow.

"The way she was always trying to fill my head with crap about you. How you weren't good enough. How you weren't my type. She was so persistent with it and now I know why."

"Wow."

"She does want to apologize to you, though. I think she just needed to get out of here and deal with it herself first." I sigh. "She's a good person, just a little hot headed at times."

"Yeah…no shit, huh?" Both of us laughing, I shift down the bed a little and Eliza turns, propping herself up on her elbow and facing me fully. "So, I missed you…"

"I missed you, too." Pulling her into a kiss, her scent floods my body and it feels so good to have her lips on me. "Why did you finish early?"

"Just a quiet night." She replies. "We usually have a group of guys at the same time every week but they didn't show tonight so the last few hours were pretty dead."

"So I get the pleasure of having you in my bed? Remind me to thank them next time they're at the club." Her body coming to rest over my own, her fingertips disappear up and under my tee and goosebumps follow her every movement. "Strange night…" I smile as she stares into my eyes.

"The weirdest." She agrees. "You know whats not weird, though?"

"What's that?"

"You screaming my name for the next few hours." Pushing her body up and off of me, her head disappears beneath the sheet and my shorts are suddenly being slipped from my body. "And tasting you on my lips…"

"Mm…" My eyes closing, I take in every sensation my amazing girlfriend is creating right now, and I know that this is going to be another perfectly beautiful night for us both.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys! PLOT TWIST, huh?**

 **Reviews are welcome as always. I'll try and get another chapter out for you tonight if I can. Thanks, again.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to cold sheets, I groan in disappointment and glance at the clock. It's a little after nine and my girlfriend is probably out running right now. Knowing that I'm safely tucked away in bed makes me feel a little better but I still wish she was here with me. Why wouldn't I? She has the softest skin and I love waking up pressed against it. I love waking up and hearing her soft breathing. It doesn't happen often, but I understand that she has an exercise regime that she lives by. It's a part of her daily routine and I'd never disrupt that. Occasionally she will run later, but she likes to get into the park first before everyone begins their day. I hate it. I know what kind of people hang out in that park and I don't like knowing that she is running alone before the sun has barely even risen. There is no telling her, though. She just laughs it off. Either that or she suggests I join her. It's usually at that point that I allow her to win the argument I've put before us because well, I have no intention to run at 6:30 in the morning. None whatsoever.

Climbing from the warm confines of my bed, I pull my robe around my body and tie it securely around my waist. It's a little cold this morning but I know once Eliza returns from her routine, I'll be warming up in no time. Her arms are so strong and protective. I mean, her body is so sculptured that you'd expect it to be hard and uncomfortable, but it's not. It's so perfect. She has that perfect percentage of muscle and body fat. She's not too lean, but she's not too slim either. She's just fucking beautiful. It's really the only way I can describe her. Sometimes she's actually indescribable and that is hard for a writer. It's hard because I'm so used to putting my feelings into my writing but sometimes I'm literally lost for words. It's not very often that happens to me, but since Eliza walked, or danced…into my life, it's becoming a common occurrence.

Stepping out of the bedroom, I hear movement in the kitchen and I step back a little, resting against the frame of the door. My girlfriend is back and is standing in my kitchen in her workout clothes. _God, those clothes send my mind and my body crazy._ I swear, every time I see her wearing them, I want to take her in every position imaginable. She doesn't like it, though. The idea of sex before a shower after a workout…she just doesn't like it. That's her choice, though. I'd take her anytime of the day given half the chance.

Watching her as her ass moves perfectly around my kitchen, I bite down on my lip and take in her entire body. Her strong shoulders flexing as she reaches up to the top cupboard for fresh coffee beans, her tight top rides up her stomach and I have to close my eyes for a split second. I want to watch her a little longer, but I have to control myself in order to do that. _Come on, Arizona. You've got this._ Humming to herself, I smile as she places fresh fruit on the kitchen counter and begins preparing it. Natural yogurt beside her, she mixes it up with her usual nuts and seeds and her eyes brighten as her breakfast begins taking shape.

Furrowing my brow as she begins preparing something totally different, I quickly realize that she is making me a separate breakfast. _Pancakes._ Oh, this woman is going to be in my life until the day I die. Whether that is tomorrow, or in fifty years, she will be here. I just know it. She's everything I could ever want in a life partner. She is everything I could ever need to make me happy for the rest of eternity.

About to step out and help her prepare breakfast, I'm stopped in my tracks when her humming turns into an actual song. _Okay, this is new._ I know she is perfect, but this perfect? Surely not. Surely that voice isn't coming from her gorgeous mouth.

 ** _I'll wear your winter coat, the one you love to wear  
So I keep feeling close to what's beyond compare  
The moments waking up, you catch me in your eyes  
That beauty on my pillow that holds me in the night_**

Wow! This is incredible. She is incredible. I want to make my presence known, but I can't. If I do, she may stop and I really don't want that right now. I don't want her to stop anything that she is currently doing.

 ** _And I would fight my strength to untape my mouth  
When I used to be afraid of the words  
But with you I've learnt just to let it out  
Now my heart is ready to burst  
Cause I, I feel like I'm ready for love  
And I, wanna be your everything and more  
And I know every day I say it  
But I just want you to be sure  
That I am yours_**

Tears pricking my eyes, I wipe away a single one that has fallen and hold my breath. If I don't, I'll cry like a baby. This is totally new to me, and even though it's just a song, it's coming from somewhere. It's not a familiar one, so she hasn't just heard it on the radio, and I've heard her workout playlist…there is no way this kind of music would ever be on it, so yeah, this is coming from somewhere. This is coming from her heart. I can tell by the smile on her face as she concentrates on the task at hand.

 ** _And if I be feeling heavy  
You take me from the dark  
Your arms they keep me steady  
So nothing could fall apart_**

I need to hold her. I need her to know that I'm taking in every single word that she is singing. Sure, she may not be singing them directly to me, but I need her to know that I'm hearing it. I'm hearing everything. I'm feeling everything. Every ounce of energy she is allowing to flow through my apartment...I'm totally feeling it. Pushing off the door frame, I slowly and quietly approach the woman who is literally making my heart burst, and wrap my arms around her waist from behind. "Hey…" She smiles as she glances over her shoulder.

"Carry on," I whisper as I lean up and place a kiss on her shoulder. "Please carry on singing," I ask. She seems a little hesitant, but my arms are tightening around her and I know she can feel my heart beating against her. I'm pretty sure anyone within a ten-mile radius can feel it beating out of my chest. "Please?" Giving me a slight nod, I turn my face and my cheek comes to rest against her back.

 ** _And I would fight my strength to untape my mouth  
When I used to be afraid of the words  
But with you I've learnt just to let it out  
Now my heart is ready to burst  
'Cause I, I feel like I'm ready for love  
And I wanna be your everything and more  
And I know every day I say it  
But I just want you to be sure  
That I am yours… That I am yours_**

Turning in my arms when she realizes that I'm actually crying, she furrows her brow and lifts my head a little. "Hey, don't cry." She whispers. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

"You haven't." I smile as I wipe away my tears. "That was just so beautiful."

"The truth is what it was…" She smiles. "You make me crazy, Arizona. Everything about you."

"I think I should be thanking you." I counter. "You've made me feel more alive these past few weeks than I've ever felt in my entire life. You just…you're good for me, okay?"

"We're good for each other." She smiles as she runs her thumb across my damp cheek. "Even out running this morning, I couldn't get you off of my mind. You are all I think about. All I see."

"Yeah?" A slight blush creeps onto my face and she gives me a certain nod. "That means a lot."

"That's because _you_ mean a lot to me, beautiful." Her lips pressing against my own, she runs her tongue across my bottom lip and smiles. "Now, I'm going to make my favorite girl breakfast and we are going to spend the day together before I have to work tonight, okay?" _Ugh, work!_

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

"Okay, so what time do you have to leave tonight?" I ask as I round the couch and drop down beside my girlfriend.

"Just before eight should be fine, why?" She furrows her brow. "Do you have plans?"

"I was thinking of asking Teddy to come over. I don't think we've quite discussed everything yet." I shrug. "She said some stuff last night and I want to really talk it out with her."

"Do you mind if I ask you what stuff it was that she brought up?"

"No, not at all." I smile. "Just…if this turns into a discussion, will you answer honestly and give me your honest opinion?"

"You know I will." Placing her hand on my thigh, I know she is trying to reassure me, but her word is good enough. I'll settle for her hands on my body, though, too. "Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind."

"Just...she mentioned that she had been going to the club for a while before she took me there. I uh, what kind of vibe did you get from her? I mean, I know you like to read people and you are pretty good at it, so how did it feel to you?"

"How did it feel?" She raises an eyebrow. "Like, how did _she_ feel?"

"No." I laugh. "I mean like the atmosphere. The vibe. Whatever it is you experience in that room."

"It felt like nothing." She shrugs. "Like it always does when I'm in that room with someone." She turns to face me fully. "Except when I'm in there with you. It feels totally different when I'm in there with you."

Smirking, a slight giggle erupts from my throat and she squeezes my thigh. "Teddy said that she used to pay for you to dance for her so she could perv at you. It just…it unsettled me a little."

"Why? That's what everyone pays for me." She states. "They don't pay me to chat and make conversation. They pay me to watch me. To make them feel good. To touch me."

"Okay, I don't need that much information." I wrinkle my nose. "I don't need to be reminded that something that belongs to me is being _touched._ "

"Sorry, I just…you wanted to know, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile and yeah, she's right. I did ask. "Look, if you're trying to ask me if I find Teddy attractive…no, I don't."

"No, that's not what I was asking." I shake my head. "I asked if she wanted you and she said no, but then she changed her mind and said that she didn't know." I know I sound ridiculous, and I know neither of them would ever do anything to hurt me, but Eliza is mine, and yeah...I'm feeling a little weird about all of this right now. _Totally weird._

"But you were going to ask me at some point if I was attracted to her." She raises her eyebrow and I drop my gaze. "It's okay. I'm not offended. It's an acceptable question."

"I'm just still coming to terms with the fact that Teddy frequents your place of work and I'm only just hearing about it. She's never kept anything like this from me and it makes me wonder why she ever chose to hide it from me. Does that make sense?" I ask.

"It does, but you are asking the wrong person."

"I know." I sigh. "I just don't know how to approach the conversation with her. I don't want her to think I'm having a go, but I also need her to know that she can't pay you anymore. I hope you don't mind that, but I can't allow her to do it. Anyone else in that place and that's fine, but you…no. I'm sorry, I can't."

"Arizona, she hasn't been to me since she saw me at the bar that night. The night she called me out on it in the bathroom. You really have nothing to worry about. Surely, Teddy wouldn't ever do something like that. Surely, she would never come back to me. I'd like to say that I'd turn her down because that's what I'd _want_ to do, but I can't do that. She is a paying customer. A client. You would just have to trust her word that she wouldn't book me again and hope that she was telling you the complete truth. You know yourself that I don't know who my next client is until I come out to collect them. Even then, I couldn't turn her away. She is booked through the system."

"I know." I breathe out. "I guess I just have to talk to her."

"That would be the best thing to do." She agrees. "Work this out with her and then hopefully you two can be good friends again. I know how much she means to you, but I can also see how much you are struggling with what you heard last night." Pulling me closer to her, I shift and straddle her legs. "I just hope you know that I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"I do know that." _God, I've never been so sure about anything in my life._ So, of course, I know that she would never hurt me. Unintentionally, maybe…but that happens to the best of people. I just want Teddy to understand that this has to stop. Whether she has been to Eliza since we met or not, it has to stop.

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

This night has really taken it out of me. I've had client after client walk through the door and I'm pretty sure I'm making up for leaving early last night. I'm never this busy on a Saturday night. Friday is the best night. Friday is when people finish work for the weekend and head straight here to unwind. Saturday is family time. Saturday is the night when people stay at home and catch up with TV shows and their kids. Not me.

What did I hope for this evening? Honestly, I wanted to leave early again. Arizona was planning to call Teddy and maybe head out to dinner with her and grab a few drinks but I haven't heard from her since around an hour after I left. I don't generally keep my phone with me when I'm working, but I hate knowing that I cannot hear from Arizona if I really need to. I hate not knowing if she is okay or not. It just sucks being away from her. Good thing I enjoy my job, huh? My last client left a few minutes ago and honestly, I'm fried. I'm sweaty and I'm tired. I've worked my ass off tonight…literally. I'm pretty sure I won't even need to work out in the morning. Sunday is usually my day off from working out anyway, but I'm thinking maybe I could even give Monday a miss where my exercise is concerned. I won't, though, since it's one of the only things that keeps me sane. It's nice to imagine missing a session, though, right?

Checking myself out in the mirror, I pause my playlist and apply a little more eyeliner. Fixing my G string around my waist a little better, I'm looking amazing tonight and I'm so ready to get these last few clients over with. Stepping out into the packed out main room, I glance around and find a few regular faces, but mainly new clients. One-timers. Whatever they like to be called. I've made a small fortune tonight, and I plan on spending it on my girlfriend tomorrow. Whether it is drinks, or takeout…dinner or a movie, or all of the above, she can have it all. She can have it all anyway, but I feel like she deserves a treat. She deserves to be wined and dined. By me, and only me.

Catching sight of a familiar face, I approach my usual spot in which my clients wait and step down from the stage. "What are you doing here?"

"Night out, apparently." Teddy shrugs. "Is that a problem?"

"Usually, it wouldn't be, but you are sitting in my client spot and I don't think this is a good idea." I give her a knowing look. "You know Arizona wouldn't like this, Teddy."

"Oh, I'm just window shopping tonight." Pointing over to the other side of the stage, I find my girlfriend slipping bills between my colleague's thong and roll my eyes. _Okay, I don't like seeing her with her hands on anyone else._ I don't care how well I know the woman she is giving her attention to…I still don't like it. "Your girl is here to see you, though."

"Yeah, sure she is." I smile. "Could have fooled me."

"Mm, is that a little jealousy I'm sensing, Adria?" Teddy laughs and I shake my head. "Mmhmm…you are so jealous."

"I'm a stripper, Teddy. I'm not sure I have the capacity to be jealous." Climbing back onto the stage, I approach my girlfriend and crouch down in front of her. "Were you waiting for me or are you just going to fuck _her_ with your eyes all night?" My tone low, I study her face and I can see the arousal building in those gorgeous blue eyes. "Huh?"

"I was just keeping myself busy." She bites down on her lip. "Is that a problem?"

"No, but do it again and it _will_ become one," I state. "Get in the back room…NOW! I don't have time to waste."

"Oh…" She tilts her head a little. "Maybe I'll just stay here since you are _too_ busy for me. This one is kinda hot in a slutty way."

"Get in the back room, Arizona." My features totally changing, she recognizes that I'm being serious and adds a little sway to her hips as she follows me around the stage. Pulling the curtain back, she steps inside and I reach up to my right and tilt the camera away slightly. Just enough to not be noticed by the staff, but enough to allow me to do whatever the hell I want to Arizona from a certain position in the room. "You think that's funny?" I ask as she turns on her heel and furrows her brow. "Huh?"

"Why are you getting so worked up?" She laughs. "I'm in a strip club, for god sake."

"So?" I scoff. "That means you can touch whoever you want, does it?"

"Um, yeah." She shrugs. "Seems to be okay when you have everyone else's hands but mine on you, so why can't I touch and play a little? I wasn't doing any harm."

"Sure." I scoff. "Sit down if you want a dance." Hitting play on my docking station, I increase the volume to drown out the noise outside this room and Rihanna 'Wild Thoughts' begins playing through the room. Unclasping my bra before Arizona has even realized I'm approaching her, I allow it to fall to the floor and my heels hit the tiles beneath us. "You get what you pay for and nothing else."

"Whatever." She shrugs as she turns to face me. "Oh god." Squeezing her legs together, her mouth hangs open a little and her eyes are fixed firmly on my naked chest. "Eliza…" She breathes out. "W-We can't." Straddling her legs, I pop the button on her jeans and she doesn't take her eyes off of me for a second. She doesn't blink. She doesn't breathe. I know exactly what I'm doing to her right now and fuck me, it's hot. She's hot. We're hot. Everything about this moment is turning me on like never before.

The beat bouncing from the walls of my private room, Arizona is almost drooling, and that's no lie. She's in a daze. She's hypnotized. Gripping her breast, I grind down in her lap and she simply stares. Her jaw almost hitting her chest, I run my tongue up her ear and she shudders against me. "Nobody out _there_ can do what I can do to you in _here_ ….Nobody can fuck you like I can, baby."

"Fuck." All breath leaving her body, her hands grip my thighs and I swear she is about to break skin. "I-I…"

"Shut it." The beat taking over my body, my ass bounces down against her thighs and her eyes darken like I've never seen before. Rolling my body against her, her breathing is already labored but I don't care. This woman makes me want to do unimaginable things to her body. I know we can't get too crazy in here since anyone can walk in at any time, but I'm going to make her come in this room and I don't care how she feels about that. I don't care if she wants that for us or not, it's happening. I don't suspect she is going to turn me down since she is barely breathing right now, but I no longer care what her opinion of this place is. She loves it. She fucking loves everything about it. And I love everything about her. I don't care who knows it right now. I could get caught this second and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I want her, and I'm having her. That really is the end of it.

The song playing is a new one added to my playlist and Arizona is the first person I've danced to it with. This is now our song and I'll make sure she knows that. I'll make sure she knows that even though this couldn't be further from intimate, we are alone, and this is our space right now. Nobody else's. The clients don't matter right now. The staff doesn't matter. Nobody but this woman beneath me matters. The tone of the music changing ever so slightly, I slip my hand beneath the waistband of her jeans _and_ her panties. "You are so fucking incredibly hot in here," I whisper as my fingertips connect with an absolute flood of arousal. "That better be for me." I moan against her ear.

"O-Only you." She grinds down against my fingers. "Fuck, Eliza…I need you."

"Thought you needed that whore outside," I smirk against the skin of her neck. "She could _never_ give you anything I could."

"Baby, please?" She pants as my fingers work her clit like never before. I desperately want her, but I can't get too comfortable here. I'm pleasing her, and nothing more. She will understand that. Her hands slipping further back, she grips my ass and I swear I could come right now. "Fuck me, Eliza…" Her words swirling around my head, I drop my head on her shoulder and dip my hand a little lower, teasing her entrance, I push two fingers deep inside of her and the gasp that leaves her mouth makes me wonder if she is even still alive. "Fuck, yes. Just like that…"

"You really want me, huh?" Her ass lifting a little, my fingers slip deeper and I curl them before she has time to slam down against them. Her hips still lifted from the seat she is in, I run my tongue up her neck and breathe hard against her ear. _"I heard that pussy for the taking…I heard you got these other bitches going' crazy. Yeah, I treat you like a lady, lady… Fuck you 'til you're burnt out, cremation. Make it cream, yeah, Wu-Tang, Throw that ass back, bouquet. Call me and I can get it juicy…I can tell you're gone off the D'usse. Careful mama watch what you say…You talking to me like ya new bae…"_

Her walls tightening around me, I swipe my thumb over her clit and it only causes her hips to lift more from her seat. "What the fuck…" She moans against my neck. "T-That…oh god." Her words cut off as her body trembles beneath me, she comes undone and I smile as my lips meet her own. "That was fucking hot." She groans, her hips still meeting my thrusts. "Fuck…"

"I aim to please, gorgeous." My tongue running along the roof of her mouth, it grazes her teeth before I bite down on her top lip. "You are so hot when you are in here with me."

"I-I, uh…I think we need to keep that song for the bedroom." Her words trailing off, she whimpers as I slip out of her and bring my fingers up to my mouth. Changing direction, I slip them between her own lips and her eyes close. Running them along her bottom lip, I grind down against her thigh one last time before sucking on her bottom lip. "Y-You saying those lyrics…" She moans as she licks her lips. "…I don't think I can bear this any longer. I don't think I can cope with your unbelievable hotness."

"Well, you better learn, baby." I smile. "Because there is so much more where that came from."

"Y-Yeah?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah." I nod. "You may not be all about the stripper life, but I'll drill it into you. Here. At home. In bed. In the kitchen. On the couch. Everywhere. I'm going to make you think about me wherever in the city you are…got it?"

"Shit…" She breathes out as she closes her eyes. "You are just too much."

"More than enough for you to handle."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always….Once you've all cooled down, of course.**

 **3 in 3 for me today so it's bedtime. Goodnight you awesome people around the world. Ciao!**

 **The first song was 'Yours' by Ella Henderson**

 **Strip song was 'Wild Thoughts' by Rihanna, Dj Khaled, and Bryson Tiller. Explicit version, obviously. A particular word was changed…I didn't want to offend anyone.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to a pounding on my front door, I furrow my brow and glance over at the clock. It's almost 11 am and Eliza is still beside me. That's awesome, but it would be even better if someone wasn't banging on my door on a Sunday morning. Jumping from the bed, my aching body screams at me as I pull a pair of panties on and throw my robe over my shoulders. Heading out of the bedroom, I rush to the front door and pull it open before the unknown presence can actually beat it down. "What the hell!" I spit as it opens.

"You're still sleeping?"

"Of course, I'm still sleeping. It's Sunday fucking morning." I give my publisher an incredulous look and she laughs. "And if I remember right…you're not my mother so?"

"Arizona, you should be working." She states. "And you should have been working last night."

"Um, I worked my ass off yesterday." I scoff. "So, if you'll excuse me…I need to sleep. Last night was a long long night." I smirk when I'm reminded of the round after round once we returned home.

"Wrong answer." My publisher pushes her way through the door and sets her purse down on my couch. "People want your new book, Arizona, and you are going to give it to them. You should have been working on it before the release of your last one. You know that. You know _all_ of this."

"Can you give me five freaking minutes to actually wake up before you start handing out your demands?" Running my fingers through my hair, I move into the kitchen and put some fresh coffee on. Heading for the bedroom, I close the door fully so Eliza can sleep a little while longer. She doesn't need to sit here and listen to this woman drone on about a book that doesn't exist right now. "I assume you will be wanting coffee?"

"A little breakfast wouldn't do any harm, too." The blonde sitting in my living room shrugs.

"Um, I don't think so." I laugh. "You won't be staying that long."

"I'll be here as long as I need to be…" _God, this woman is a pain in my ass._ "So, you had a busy night, huh?"

"I did, but I was unwinding after a day _filled_ with writing. I can assure you." Giving her a knowing look, she gives me a slight smile and I feel like she is about to chastise me some more.

"You call a strip club unwinding?"

"What?" My eyes widening, she smirks and I can feel the blush creeping up my neck. I know I'm going to become a beacon any moment now.

"Jake from the office spotted you there." She shrugs. "I mean, a strip club?" She wrinkles her nose. "Are things really that bad that you have to resort to paying someone for their time?"

"It was research!" I spit.

"And the stripper you left with?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Don't you fucking dare sit there and judge me!"

"Oh, I'm not." She holds up her hands. "I just didn't expect that from you."

"Yeah well, times change. I've changed." I sigh. "Now are you here about the book or are you just here to piss me off?" Handing her a cup of coffee, I take a seat far away from her. "And by the way, who I date is none of your concern."

"It is when it's affecting your writing…"

"No, it's not." I shake my head. "And she isn't affecting my writing. You, however, are affecting my mood."

"Maybe you should use some of that feeling and that mood to get your god damn book up and running." My bedroom door opening, I glance over my publisher's shoulder and find Eliza looking a little sleepy as she steps out and approaches the kitchen. _Oh, thank god she is wearing clothes._ When I left my bedroom a little while ago, my girlfriend was spread out flat on her stomach completely naked. Hot sight, but appropriate for my eyes only.

"Mornin'" She grumbles as she furrows her brow and her eyes burn into the back of the woman sitting on my couch. "And you are?" She asks. "Other than the woman who has just woken me up…"

Standing, the blonde turns to face Eliza and holds out her hand. "Cheryl Jackson. Arizona's publisher."

"And you're here on a Sunday morning because?" My girlfriend gives her a questioning look and I hold back a laugh. _I think Cheryl has finally met her match._

"Because Arizona is going to spend the day working." She smiles. "Right?" Turning her attention back to me, Eliza flips her the middle finger and I have to drop my gaze before laughter erupts from my entire body. "Show me what you've got so far."

"I think you'll be surprised." I shrug. "How about I just email it over to you?" I really don't want her here right now. She has no reason to be here. She hasn't made a house call in a while, and honestly…it's unnecessary. Eliza also doesn't know that this woman is my ex. I never told her because it's irrelevant, but I'm beginning to wonder what her reaction will be when she finds out.

I'm sure everything will be okay but still…I'd like her gone so I can speak with my girlfriend. She should know, and now that she has actually turned up at my place, she definitely needs to know. "Fine. But I want it within the next hour, Arizona." Raising an eyebrow, she grabs her purse and heads for the door. "You know how good you are, and you know you have a lot of readers out there. They're waiting for you, okay?"

"I know." I sigh. "I'll have it sent over before you even reach the office."

"Thank you." Heading for the door, she pulls it open and steps out into the corridor. "Nice to meet you…"

"Eliza." My girlfriend smiles as she watches the blonde leave our personal space. "Awesome meeting you, too." The door closing, I release a deep sigh and turn back to face Eliza. "Is that a common thing with her, or?"

"What? Showing up here?"

"Yeah." She nods.

"Only when I'm not doing what I should be doing." I sigh. "She will settle down when she gets what I've done so far. She means well, she's just a little full on sometimes."

"Guess she didn't get to where she is without being that way." My girlfriend shrugs. "She knows what she's doing so that can only benefit you, right?"

"Right." I agree. "Now, let's get some breakfast."

* * *

 ** _Arizona,_**

 ** _What you have so far is great, but is it a good idea to base the character off of your current girlfriend? You know how I feel about using the personality of real people but if you are happy with it, I'll let it lie. I love where this is going, but wouldn't you agree that there isn't quite enough erotica included? Maybe a little too much love?_**

 ** _Keep in touch._**

 ** _Cheryl._**

Too much love? Is she for real? Rolling my eyes as I sit back in my seat, I pull up the workings of my current novel and glance over the last couple of chapters. Sure, it's a little less raunchy this time around, but people want real feelings, too, right? People want to read what is realistic. People want to feel that connection to the characters through something other than sex. Don't get me wrong, I love writing lesbian antics in the bedroom, but I don't want to only be known as the woman who put a twist on things and gave the public her very own 'Fifty Shades of Gay'. I want people to relate. I want people to understand and feel it. I want people to know that there is so much more to life than _just_ sex.

Shaking my head, I put my computer to sleep and push my chair away from my desk. Eliza has been relaxing since breakfast and now I know what I have to do. I have to make her aware of the situation with my publisher. Well, past situation. In my eyes, she really is nothing more than my boss. In my eyes, I feel nothing for her other than hatred when she wakes me abruptly. Rounding the back of the couch, I lean down and place a kiss below my girlfriend's ear. "Hey, can I sit with you?"

"You know you can." She glances up at me and smiles. "I missed you over there."

"And I missed you over here." I counter. Climbing over the back of the couch, I drop down beside her and her arm wraps securely around my shoulder. "Any plans for the day?" I ask.

"Not really. I was going to head home and get some stuff done, but you are welcome to join me."

"Maybe I will." I smile. "But I'll spend a little time doing some work first if that's okay?"

"Of course, it is. You can just head on over whenever you like. No pressure, yeah?" Pulling me a little closer to her, she rests the side of her head against my own and sighs. "I love being around you. You know, just us."

"Yeah?" A small smile creeping onto my face, I give her a slight nod. "This apartment always felt so cold and lonely before I met you, but I see it totally differently now."

"How so?"

"Like, I don't know. You've breathed some life back into the place." I reply. "You know, when I walk in here, the first thing I get is your scent?"

"That's because I wear the most amazing perfume." She laughs. "But yeah, I know what you mean. I love wearing your clothes." Sighing, she runs her fingers through my hair and grazes my scalp slightly. "You have _the_ most comforting scent ever."

"Mm…" I acknowledge her but her hands are working magic against my head right now and I'm too engrossed in what she is doing to care what she is saying. "That feels amazing."

"Good." She replies. Her tone low and relaxed. "Anything to make you feel a little less stressed."

"About that." I sigh. "Cheryl…"

"What about her?"

"She, um…she's my ex." My stomach flipping a little when her movements against my head stop, I close my eyes and hope that this isn't about to bring any drama our way. "I just wanted you to know…"

"Okay." She sounds a little uncertain but she really has nothing to worry about.

"I didn't want there to be any secrets between us so I wanted you to know." Glancing up at her, her eyes are fixed firmly on the TV in front of us. "Say something…"

"There isn't really anything to say about it." She shrugs a little. "She's your ex. You aren't together anymore. She's your boss and she was in your home this morning whilst you were in nothing but a robe."

"O...kay." I furrow my brow. "That's wasn't really nothing to say, was it?" I appreciate that she is telling me how she feels, but I want her to look at me. I want her to see me. I want her to know that she has nothing to worry about. "Eliza?"

"Yeah?" She glances down at me and I give her a smile.

"Tell me how you feel…"

"About your ex?" She asks and I nod. "Well, I don't _feel_ anything about her. I mean, what was it? You guys just like dated and nothing really came of it? Did she find your book a little hot and you guys went from there?"

"No." I sigh. "It wasn't like that."

"So, what was it like?" She asks, her tone soft.

"We were together for quite some time." I clear my throat. "She became my publisher during our relationship."

"How long?"

"How long into the relationship did she become my publisher?" I furrow my brow. "Uh, like a year or something."

"No, how long were you guys together?"

"Oh, three years." I try to be as nonchalant as possible, but I suspect that isn't going to work right now. I don't want this to come between us, and I'm already beginning to wonder if I should have told her at all. "It's been over for a year."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Arizona." She smiles. "We all have a past, right?"

"Y-Yeah." I agree. "We do." _Okay, not the reaction I was expecting._ "So, that's that then."

"Thanks for telling me."

"To be honest, it didn't even cross my mind. It doesn't matter so I didn't even think to tell you when I met you." Turning in her seat a little, she faces me fully and I sigh. "What I mean is, it's been over for so long that I see her as my publisher and nothing else. Like, I don't introduce her to people as my ex."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Placing a kiss on my lips, she sits forward and clears her throat. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm not," I respond. "But I don't want you to worry about it."

"Please." She scoffs. "I'm way hotter than her." _And there it is. Her defensive side is beginning to kick in._

"It's not about who is hotter," I state. "Yes, you definitely are, but it's not about that."

"I know." She shrugs. "Look, I should head back to my place. You have work to do, and my place could do with a clean."

"O-Oh, okay." I furrow my brow. "Just call me later if you still want me to come over."

"Yeah, sure." She removes herself from the couch and begins packing up her things. "Just concentrate on your writing and we will just go from there, okay?"

"If that's what you want me to do, yeah." Dropping back on the couch, I sigh and run my hands over my face. "I guess I'll just see you whenever you are free." My stomach in knots, I close my eyes and try to stem the flow of tears I know are about to fall. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her who Cheryl was. I thought her knowing was a good idea.

"I want you to work on what you have to work on, Arizona. If you have time later, call me. If not, it's okay. You are a writer before everything else, and I'd never expect you to stop what you do because I'm in your life."

"I'm a writer before anything else?" I scoff. "That's what you think, but _you_ are my girlfriend before anything else. I'm sorry that you don't see that…but it's how I feel."

"And I appreciate that." She smiles as she shrugs her bag up onto her shoulder. "But you still have work to do."

"Yeah...work." I smile. "And you have to head home so I won't keep you any longer." _This has nothing to do with the fact I have to work._ She doesn't like what I've just told her. I can see it in her eyes. It's written all over her face. "Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Arizona…" She breathes out.

"What?" My tone a little harsh, she raises her eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that, Eliza. We both know why you are leaving so suddenly, so don't deny it."

"I'm leaving so you can work." She defends.

"That's a lie." I laugh and head for my desk. "But if that's what you want to keep telling yourself, that's fine. You should go...I have _work_ to do, right?"

"Right." She agrees. "I'll call you later." She sighs as she opens my apartment door.

"Sure you will." Dropping down into my seat, the door closes and the tears fall. Why is she behaving like this? Why is she so mad at the fact that I have an ex? I know she's pissed, but I don't understand why. There isn't a lot I can do about it. I have an ex-girlfriend. So what? Maybe it's the fact that we still see each other, I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that she was here this morning and Eliza was totally unaware of who she was. If she doesn't speak to me about it, though, there isn't a lot I can do to reassure her.

 _So, I'll wait for her call. The call I know won't come…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

What the hell have I done? Seriously...I'm such an asshole sometimes and right now is definitely one of those times. I walked out on Arizona. Not like walked out for good, but I still walked out in my own pathetic way. Telling her she had work to do? That was my way of avoiding the conversation I wanted to have. That was my way of saying 'fuck this, I need space'. Ridiculous. Absolutely pathetic. I know I am, and I'll hold my hands up to that, but I should never have done what I did. I mean, I'm with her, right? Arizona is my girlfriend and she has never given me any reason to suspect that she isn't. She's been nothing but amazing with me and my profession, and I go and do that because I had a moment of some sort of weird jealousy? I need to get a grip and I need to do it fast.

I know she is mad at me since she hasn't even bothered to text me. Usually, a smart ass text would be the thing that people do, right? Arizona, though...no. No, because she doesn't need that kind of behavior in her life, or in our relationship. I just freaked a little when those words fell from her beautiful mouth. That beautiful mouth that was on my body all night. That beautiful mouth that I kissed only moments before she told me who Cheryl was. That beautiful mouth that sends me crazy every time it opens. God, I'm such an asshole. _Do I call her?_ I don't know what to do. I want to go back over there, but I'm stubborn and it's one of my biggest downfalls. I know that I have to apologize for how I've just acted towards her past, but how? Do I send flowers? Do I make reservations for dinner? _No, she just wants your words._ She doesn't need anything other than my words.

We've had an awesome week, followed by an awesome weekend and it's only made me want her more than I ever thought possible. It's not even because she is so on board with who I am. It's not because she accepts me for what I do. I just need her in my life. She just gives me that spark I've never had before. She makes me feel awesome every time she is with me. She's just a gorgeous person, inside and out. That's why I need her in my life. Honestly, the way I feel about her right now…I'd give up my career if she asked me to. I know she never would, but I feel so strongly for her that I'd totally do that if it was what she wanted. _I've never felt that way about anyone._

I know exactly what this feeling is, but I don't want to say it yet. I don't want to say it because when I do, it changes everything. It changes the good pace we have going on right now. It changes the fun side of things. It makes everything different. How I'd look at her. How I'd hold her. Everything will change the moment those three words fall from my mouth, and I don't even know if she would want to hear them from me. She may not be there yet. She may just be enjoying how we are, and that would be okay. She may decide down the line that this isn't for her. She may decide that it was good, but it's not her kind of relationship. I have to think about that possibility before I open myself up to another woman for the first time in my life. I've never told _anyone_ that I love them. I've never even thought about telling them. They've never stuck around long enough for me to have the opportunity to think about how I feel. Arizona is different, though. She is real. She is honest. She is exactly what I want in my life.

I think I've known that from the moment I met her. Not in the club, but at the coffee shop. I knew when I handed her a refill and those blue eyes stared back at me that she was someone to be close to. This close, though, I never imagined. I never thought six weeks on I'd be waking beside her. I also never thought I'd be walking out of her door because I'm a jealous bitch who doesn't like the idea of her ex being around her. I guess all of this is new for me, huh? That doesn't make what I did right, though, and I accept that. I accept that I've made a mistake and that she would never hurt me. I don't think I even need her to tell me that. I just know she wouldn't.

A knock on my door pulling me from my inner turmoil, I cross the distance and tug it open. "Thank God you're here!" I shriek as my best friend gives me a look of horror.

"What did she do?" He asks as he steps inside and closes the door. "Eliza?"

"She didn't do anything. I'm the do-er. I'm the fuck up." I cry. "Help me…"

"Um, you _never_ cry." He looks me up and down. "What the hell is that, girl?"

"I can't help it." Wiping the tears from my face, he shakes his head and follows me through to the living room. "She makes me cry."

"Why? What did she do?"

"I've just told you she didn't do anything," I state, a little harsher than I'd like. "She's just fucking perfect and beautiful and everything I _don't_ deserve in my life."

"Okay, honey…I need you to stop talking crap and tell me what's going on." He struts his way over to the couch and takes a seat like he is some sort of therapist. "Come sit."

Falling down beside him, I wrap my arms around his body and cry into his chest. "She has an ex." I sob.

"Okay, first of all…this is Chanel so can you not cry on it? And secondly…we all have exes!"

"But this one is her boss." I whimper as I pull back to find tear stains on his powder pink tee. "She was at her place this morning."

"She's a writer, you said?" Giving him a nod, he furrows his brow. "So, why was her ex at her place on a Sunday morning? Oh god…" Covering his mouth, his eyes widen. "You don't think she's one of those women who likes to have a few ladies in her bedroom at once do you? Girl, I love you, but you will not become involved in threesomes."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, incredulously. "How have we gone from discussing her ex to threesomes?"

"Maybe she wants that with you both." He shrugs.

"Jay, this is serious." I give him a knowing look and he holds up his hands. "Thank you."

"What's the problem?" He raises his eyebrow. "I mean, is she still in love with her ex? Is that what this is about?"

"No." I shake my head. "I just...I wasn't expecting her to tell me that when we were enjoying our afternoon together and so I freaked out a little. I walked out, Jay. I walked out on her."

"Why?" He sighs. "Why can't you just talk things out with her instead of running?"

"I wasn't running," I state. "I guess I was a little jealous. Worried, maybe?"

"But you still didn't talk to her about it, did you? I mean, you are incredible Eliza, but sometimes you are just plain fucking stupid."

"Thanks." I scoff as I pull away from him. "You know you're supposed to be helping me right now, not criticising me."

"But you are, baby. You know I love you and you know I'll always have your back, but you have to stop doing this. All of the others you've had and they walked away…imagine how Arizona must feel right now. She probably thinks she's done something wrong."

"I love her, Jay." The words falling from my mouth faster than I thought they ever could, he gives me a sad smile and takes my hand in his own.

"I know, girl."

"What do you mean? How would you know?"

"I can see it." He shrugs. "I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her. Even when you aren't talking about her, I know you are thinking about her."

"Yeah?" I smile. "You really see it?"

"I see everything, Eliza." He smiles. "And the look you have on your face when Arizona is the topic of conversation is one I've _never_ seen before from you. Never."

"Wow." I breathe out as I run my fingers through my hair. "I didn't realize it was so obvious."

"Well, to me it is." He shrugs. "To me, it is the most amazing sight in the world." We never have conversations like this. One of us is always joking about something but this is nice. Hearing him say those things to me is nice. "You should call her."

"I know." I nod. "What if she doesn't want to see me, though? What if the love I have for her has just caused me to push her away?"

"I'm pretty sure she will come around eventually." He releases my hand and settles back against my couch. "Explain why you felt so scared by the fact that her ex is around, and I'm sure she will be okay. You have to try, at least…"

"Yeah." I clear my throat. "You're right." Grabbing my cell from the coffee table, I hit the call log and wait for my call to connect to the one woman I need to see right now. "Hey…"

"What's up?" She asks, her tone a little cold.

"Could um, can you come over?"

"What for?" _Please don't do this._

"Because I want to spend the night with you." My tone turning from one of cool and collected to one of pleading and desperate, she doesn't say anything. "Please, Arizona?"

"Why should I come to you when you walked out on me earlier?"

"I'll come to you then," I suggest. "I'll come over right now."

"I'm a little busy with work right now." She doesn't sound like she is trying to avoid me, and her words sound genuine, but I can't be sure.

"Oh, okay." Sighing, I glance at Jay and shake my head a little. "I'll just see you some other time then."

"Sure." She agrees. "Bye." Her call ending, I glance down at the screen and my heart sinks into my stomach. Fresh tears ready to fall, I close my eyes and breathe through it. At least, I'll try to.

"What did she say?" My best friend asks.

"Just that she's busy right now." I shrug and he gives me a sad smile. "She does have a lot of work on at the minute."

"Yeah, I'm sure she gets busy." He agrees. "Maybe you could call her again later?"

"No, I don't want to bother her. She's busy so I'll leave it at that." Feeling more deflated than ever, I'm a little lost right now. I don't know what to do with myself since Arizona isn't here with me. I've never depended on anyone else before, but right now I need her by my side. I need her with me. "I think I'll grab a shower and take an early night."

"You're sure?" Jay asks. "I can stay if you want me to."

"No, thank you, though. You've done more than enough." I smile. "Go and live your socialite life and I'll catch up with you soon, okay?"

"Love you, Eliza." Pulling me into a hug, I grip his body and sigh. "This will work itself out. Don't worry."

"I hope you're right."

"I am." He nods. "That woman watches you leave her at the weekend to dance for other people and she still wants you in her life. She allows you to be yourself, no holding back, and she isn't scared. She will come round. Just give it some time."

"Thank you."

* * *

I've been lying in bed for the past hour and I feel awful. Like, my body aches for Arizona, and I feel so helpless. I know she is mad at me, and she has every right to be, but I wish she would just walk through my door. Even a call just so I can hear her voice would be good enough for me right now. I need something, anything…so I know that we will be okay. I know she knew I was lying about my reasons for leaving her place early, but I got scared. I got scared about the fact that other people have had Arizona in their life and they may one day want her back. Could I compete with that? If someone can give her their weekends and every night, surely she would choose that over what I can give her. Surely she would want that for herself. I know I would.

I appreciate that she is okay with my life and how we are, but Jay is right. She watches me leave her on Friday and Saturday nights so I can dance for money. She sits at home probably wondering if I'm safe. If I'm okay. If I'm being faithful. All perfectly acceptable thoughts, but she still allows that. She still allows me to be in her life and she gives me her all, she really does. I don't really have any right to be scared of my feelings for her. She wasn't scared when she committed herself to this relationship, so no…I don't have any right to be worried about where we are headed or what the future holds. She threw herself in completely, and even though I'm doing the same, I'm not showing it. I'm not opening up to her like I should. Placing her novel down, I grab my cell from the nightstand and pull up my messages. I'm reading her book once again because I just needed something to feel close to her. I know it isn't the real her, but it's the next best thing. Her name is on the cover, so it will have to do.

 ** _I'm sorry x_**

Sending the message, I release a deep sigh and settle back down into the mattress beneath me. The low light around me and soft music playing at the perfect volume, I open my book back up and try to focus on the words in front of me. Usually, I'd have no problem reading this cover to cover, but tonight my mind just isn't on it. My mind isn't anywhere other than on my girlfriend. _Is she even still my girlfriend?_ My cell vibrating beside me, I glance down and furrow my brow.

 ** _Open the door x_**

Throwing down my book and my cell, I climb from the bed and check myself over in the mirror before stepping out into the hall and heading for the staircase. My eyes puffy and red, I don't look my best right now but I'm past caring. I really am. I'm tired of hiding how I feel and putting on that God damn front I seem to carry off so well. It's time to be honest and open with Arizona. It's time to just be me. Feelings and all. My foot hitting the lower level, I unbolt the front door and pull it open. "Hey." I smile.

"Can I come in?" She asks, her hands shoved into the back pockets of her jeans.

"Of course." Stepping aside, my girlfriend brushes past me and I close the door. Turning to face each other, I study her body language and I think she's pretty hurt right now. Hurt, and mad. "I'm sorry."

"I know." She gives me a slight nod.

"Are you staying?" I ask.

"I don't know." A slight shrug of her shoulders, she glances up and finally looks at me. "I don't know where we are with things right now. I don't know what you want."

"I want you, Arizona."

"You have a funny way of showing it." She sighs. "I mean, what was that this afternoon? Why did you walk out?"

"I got scared," I admit. "I know it doesn't make what I did right, but I got scared."

"Scared of what?" She furrows her brow.

"Everything," I reply. "Everything just seems to be becoming more real as the days pass and it scares me a little. Well, a lot. I just…I guess being locked away makes everything easier. No interruptions and no pasts coming back to haunt us…but then you told me she was your ex and I realized that this is so real now. Everything about us is real. _So real._ "

"And you don't want it to be real?" She asks, a slight tremble in her voice.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I step a little closer to her but she makes no effort to connect with me. "It means my feelings become real, too, and I just wasn't prepared for them to hit me full force like they did."

"What feelings?"

"My feelings for you…" I smile. "This isn't what I do, Arizona. Everything I am with you…only _you_ have ever seen. I guess I'm just scared that it will end and I'll be left alone. I guess I'm scared that whoever has been in your life before will take you away from me and I don't know how to come to terms with that possibility. So, I chose not to deal with it in that moment. I know it was stupid of me and I know that I hurt you by doing it, but you have to believe that I'm sorry."

"I hate that you did that." She sighs. "I hate that I've spent the entire afternoon wondering if you were going to leave me because I hadn't told you about her. You just…you didn't give me anything."

"I'm so sorry."

"Like, you talk about these feelings you have, but you don't show them. You show what you want to, but then you will walk away at the first opportunity instead of talking to me. We promised to talk it out when something was wrong. We promised to work through it, but you went back on that promise and promises mean a lot to me." Taking her hand in my own, I give her a sad smile and she drops her gaze. "I just…I don't know."

"Please stay the night?"

"I shouldn't." She shakes her head.

"You should." I counter. "I need you to, Arizona. I need you with me." Guiding her body back, I motion towards the staircase and she doesn't shake my grip from her hand. "I know this is real, Arizona. Just please help me through this…"

"Through what?" She asks as we slowly take the stairs one at a time.

"All of this emotion I'm feeling." Reaching the hallway, I pull her along with me and we reach my bedroom door. "I've never done this before, and I really don't want to mess this up. I know I have already, but I want to be happy with you."

"Do you trust me?" She asks as she steps painfully close to me.

"I trust you." I breathe out as my back connects with the door and she weaves her hand behind me, opening it. "It was never about trust, though," I admit. "This was my own fears getting the better of me, but I never once questioned the trust I have in you." Soft music still playing as we enter the bedroom, I'm feeling a little more relieved that she is here with me right now.

 ** _Say you love me to my face_**

 ** _I'm needing more than your embrace_**

 ** _Just say you want me, that's all it takes_**

 ** _Heart's getting torn from your mistakes_**

 ** _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love_**

 ** _If you don't wanna try,_**

 ** _But all that I've been thinking of_**

 ** _Is maybe that you might_**

 ** _Babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say_**

 ** _And love's floating away_**

"I'm here with you, Eliza." She whispers against my lips. "I'll always choose you, okay?"

"You really believe that?" My voice breaking, she gives me a sad smile and forces me back against the wall. "Can you be sure that this life is the one you want? Regardless of who may catch your attention."

"No one will ever catch my attention while I have you in my life, Eliza." Smiling against my lips, my heart rate settles a little as the anxiety I've been experiencing slowly leaves my body. "You are so beautiful, and having you in my life is all I want. _You_ are all I want. Don't ever forget that."

 ** _Just say you love me, just for today_**

 ** _And don't give me time 'cause that's not the same_**

 ** _Want to feel burning flames when you say my name_**

 ** _Want to feel passion flow into my bones_**

 ** _Like blood through my veins_**

 ** _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love_**

 ** _If you don't wanna try,_**

 ** _But all that I've been thinking of_**

 ** _Is maybe that you might_**

 ** _And, babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say_**

 ** _And love's floating away_**

My forehead resting against her own, I breathe in her scent and my eyes don't lose her own. Her fingertips caressing the skin of my stomach beneath my oversized tee, the silence is pleasant, but I don't need silence right now. I need to be honest. "Arizona…"

 ** _Won't you stay?_**

 ** _Won't you stay?_**

 ** _Slowly, slowly you unfold me,_**

 ** _But do you know me at all?_**

 ** _Someone told me love controls everything,_**

 ** _But only if you know_**

 ** _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love_**

 ** _No no no no no_**

 ** _If you don't wanna try_**

 ** _Just try sometimes_**

 ** _But all that I've been thinking of_**

 ** _I just think_**

 ** _Is maybe that you might_**

 ** _You might_**

"What is it?" She questions as I bring my hand up to her face. My thumb running across her bottom lip, she furrows her brow but I simply smile. It's all I can do. This woman is absolute beauty. "Eliza?"

 ** _'Cause I don't wanna fall in love_**

 ** _If you don't wanna try_**

 ** _But all that I've been thinking of_**

 ** _Is maybe that you might_**

 ** _And, babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say_**

 ** _And love's floating away_**

 ** _Won't you stay?_**

 ** _Won't you stay?_**

"I love you…" A slight smile creeping onto her face, I'm relieved when she doesn't pull away from me. Taking my bottom lip between her teeth, she is all I'm feeling right now. She is all I'm living for. "I'm sorry for how I behaved, but I do, Arizona…I love you."

"Yeah?" She pulls back a little and studies my face. "I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**

 **The song was 'Say You Love Me' by Jessie Ware.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Twenty-One

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Oh god._ She said it. She said the words…and I said them back. I'm not even sure what is happening right now, but it's the truth. Everything about this moment is the truth and regardless of Eliza's worries, which we will discuss further, I know the words we have just said to each other are genuine. I could see it in her eyes. It's why I found it so easy to say them back to her. It's why I didn't want to leave her wondering. She deserves to know exactly how she makes me feel. She deserves to not have to worry about anyone else in my life. I know she is worried and I know that she is new to this, but she is who I want. She is who I spend my entire day thinking about. Even when I'm with her, I'm still thinking about her. Even when I'm beneath her body like I am right now…she is the only thing that is on my mind. Everything and everyone else disappears. My work. My professional life. My past personal life…it just all disappears, and it's because of Eliza that it happens. It's because of Eliza that I've been happier than ever before during these past few weeks. Sure, this may have happened sooner than I thought, but I meant it when I told her I love her. I meant it because I've never been so sure about anything else in my life as I am with Eliza.

Being here right now feels different. Her lips are working my body like never before, but it feels different. The connection between us feels totally different to how it usually does. Eliza is an amazing lover, but she seems…softer. Like she is truly taking care of me. Nothing about this moment is rushed. Nothing about it is hot and steamy. Her fingertips grazing my hip bone as she lifts her body off of me and hovers over me, her gorgeous eyes study my face and she gives me the most adorable smile. "You are so unbelievably beautiful…" Her mouth returning to my skin, she placed light kisses across my chest before running the flat of her tongue over my nipple. _Yeah, this is totally different._ It's a good different, though. It's caring. It's genuine.

I'm not saying that every other time between us has been false, but what I'm feeling, what I'm seeing and what I'm experiencing right now is the true Eliza Minnick. The true feelings. The honesty radiating from her body is overwhelming but I'm soaking it all up. Everything she is...I'm taking, and she's never getting it back. Sure, she may put on her front and her hot personality often shows in the bedroom, but this is perfect. So perfect that I could cry given half the chance. The emotion I'm feeling right now is crazy. So crazy that if it were anyone else, I'd be scared. I'm not scared, though, where Eliza is concerned. My feelings. My insecurities…none of it is frightening to me. This woman makes me feel alive. This woman makes me want to take on the world single-handedly. This woman is _my_ perfect. She is _my_ drug.

My naked body beneath her, Eliza grazes my thigh before dipping her hand between my legs. "Arizona…" She breathes out as her head drops to my shoulder and my hands weave around her back. Gripping her like I'm about to lose her, she pushes two fingers deep inside of me and my nails dig into her skin a little harder. "You make me feel like I should." She whispers against my neck. "Like the true me." Almost slipping out of me, my breath catches in my throat when she again pushes deep inside of me. "Like you have breathed life back into me." Silently taking in her words, one hand runs up her back and grips her neck. "A life I never knew I needed…" Placing light kisses along my jawline, I dip my head a little and meet her gaze, a genuine smile on my face. "...but a life I now know I could never live without."

Her pace picking up a little, my back arches from the bed as she makes me feel the best I've ever felt. I know she loves me. I can hear it in her words. I can feel it in how she is touching me. This woman, when being honest, is incredible. Everything about her is an absolute pleasure. My arms wrapped around her, she uses her body to gain that extra momentum behind her amazing fingers and hits me deeper with every thrust. _I've never been with her like this._ Don't get me wrong, we've shared many amazing nights together, but this? This is the start of something new. What that something is, I don't know, but it feels right. It feels good. It feels exactly how I've wanted to feel for so long that I couldn't even begin to put a duration on it. "I love you…" My words only encouraging her to make me feel like I'm the only woman in the world, she flicks her thumb over my clit and my eyes close. Her body rocking against my own, my hips meeting every single thrust, the sound of heavy breathing and absolute love fills the air. It's not often that my girlfriend is lost for words, but I suspect that she may be right now. She doesn't need to give me her words, though. She doesn't need to give me anything other than what she is giving me right now. Herself. Her complete self.

My orgasm building in the pit of my stomach, I pull her body against my own and a slight moan escapes her mouth. "God, I could make love to you forever right now." Smiling against my chest as she drops her head a little lower, she takes my hardened nipple into her mouth and gently sucks as her teeth graze the sensitive bud. My heels digging deeper into the mattress, her thumb rolls over my clit again and her movements pick up. "You're so tight for me." She trails her tongue up between my breasts before sucking on that spot below my ear that drives me wild. Any moment now my orgasm is going to crash through me, but I'm not sure I ever want this night to end. I'm not sure I want daylight to come. When it does, things can feel different. Not to me, but Eliza may question her decision to say what she has to me tonight.

Pushing all thoughts of that to the back of my mind, her fingers curl inside of me and my mouth falls open, my head now buried deeper into the pillow beneath me. "Y-Yes…" My voice barely even audible, my orgasm crashes through me and it's the most intense sensation I've ever experienced. Nothing but silence around us, Eliza continues to push in and out of me and my body writhes beneath her. Shaking. Beneath her beautiful body. In sync with her beautiful mind. I'm totally in sync with her right now. "Wow…" I breathe out as my girlfriend slows her movements deep inside of me. Gently slipping out, she places a soft kiss to my lips and drops down beside me.

"I'm so happy that you're here with me…" Her voice breaking, I turn on my side and pull her into my body. "After how I behaved today, I'm so happy."

"Hey, come on," I whisper as I place a kiss on top of her head. "Don't cry."

"Sorry." She mumbles against my chest. "I'm just thankful, okay?"

"You have nothing to worry about, Eliza. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Cracking one eye open, I can hear an alarm sounding out, but I make no move to silence it. It's 6:15 am and Eliza is usually about to get ready for her workout right now. That's going to be kinda hard for her to do, though, since she is wrapped around me and holding on like there is no tomorrow. Trying to reach over her body as slowly and as carefully as I can, my fingertips barely reach the snooze button but I manage it. _Thank God._ I know I should wake her but I want to lie with her a little longer. I understand that she sticks to her routine like religion, but it can wait just a few minutes longer.

Shifting a little in the bed, Eliza's grip tightens and I still my movements. "Don't go, please."

"I'm not going anywhere." I furrow my brow as her arms tighten again. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah." She gives me a slight nod. "I think so."

"Maybe you could open up those beautiful eyes so I can see for myself…"

"I'm okay." She nuzzles into my chest and refuses to allow me to see her fully. "Can we just stay here a little while longer?"

"We can stay here as long as you want but you have to workout and then head straight to work." I run my fingers through her hair and she groans in disappointment. "It's Monday, Eliza…"

"Can it not still be Sunday?" She sighs as she rolls onto her back and places her hand over her face. "I really don't want to leave the house today."

"Hey, it's just another day." I smile as I remove her hand from her face. "What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that yesterday was supposed to be _our_ day. We were supposed to relax together and just do nothing...but I ruined that."

"You didn't." I sigh. "It's all fixed now, right?"

"I did ruin it." She glances my way and I find unshed tears in her eyes. "I ruined everything about yesterday."

"But I'm here." I furrow my brow. "So, things can't have been ruined that much."

"Still…" She shrugs. "I still messed up."

"Maybe you should work out…" I raise an eyebrow. "Work off some of that hate you have going on for yourself right now." She glances my way again and I give her a knowing look. "I know we have things to talk about, but as far as I'm concerned, what happened yesterday is done. It's finished. I'm here and we are together."

"Promise?" She turns to face me, her elbow propping her up. "Promise that we are going to be okay?"

"I don't need to promise you, Eliza." My smile growing a little wider, I love this side of her. I love this uncertainty she is showing. It tells me that she _isn't_ invincible like she sometimes wants people to believe. "I know that things will be up and down at times, but last night we took the next step in our relationship and that to me says that this is all going to be okay. Promises or not."

"You know I really don't deserve you, Arizona." Her eyes filled with tears, I run my thumb across her cheek and she leans into my touch. "You are way too good for me."

"No, we are good for each other." I counter. "You'll see."

"I don't follow…"

"I'm sure one day I'll turn into the crazy girlfriend." I shrug a little. "And when that happens, you will remember this day…you will remember last night and how we made things right, and we will go from there."

"I don't want you to be crazy too, though."

"Oh, that's tough…because it will happen. We both know that." I laugh. "Life isn't about everything being perfect, Eliza. _Love_ isn't about everything being perfect. So long as we can figure it out together, though…I'm sure we will be okay."

"Yeah." My girlfriend agrees. "I hope it doesn't ever come to that, though. I don't ever want you to feel how I felt yesterday. It was awful."

"I've felt like that before," I reply. "It isn't nice, but it's part of life. It's part of being in a relationship and loving someone Eliza. So, I know why you are worried, and I understand that you are struggling with the possibility of your insecurities coming back one day, but don't ever hold anything back from me. If you don't like something, or if something is bothering you…just speak to me. Speak to me and I can work through it with you."

"You wouldn't be mad?" She asks.

"About what?" I furrow my brow. "Why would I be mad if you have something on your mind?"

"I don't know." She sighs. "Surely there is only so many times that you can reassure someone that everything is going to be okay before it becomes a pain in the ass."

"Maybe, but we won't know until that happens, right?"

"Why do you speak so much freaking sense?" She rolls her eyes playfully and runs her fingertips across my collarbone.

Shuddering when I feel her touch coursing through my body, I close my eyes and smile. "I talk so much sense because I've been in your position. I've been the woman who wondered how she got so lucky. I _still_ wonder that now with you…"

"Oh, I'm the lucky one." She states. "I mean, I've been in relationships, Arizona. I've been in quite a few, actually, but none of them have felt like this. None of the women I dated ever made me feel like I needed them in my life. I could happily go home and spend a week alone before I even thought about arranging to see them again. You though? God, you are the total opposite of anything I've ever experienced. You just…I don't even know what it is. You ooze everything anyone could ever want in their lives. I guess that's how I knew it would be okay last night. When I told you that I loved you…I guess I knew that it would be okay to say it to you because, in the back of my mind, I knew you loved me too. You wouldn't have ever dated me if you didn't think we could go somewhere. You wouldn't have put up with the things Teddy said about me and my profession. It wouldn't have been worth your time or energy. So, yeah…I guess I knew that it was the right time to tell you."

"And I'm so happy that you did." Inching a little closer to her, I study her face and she finally looks a little more relaxed. "I'm happy that you trusted me enough to open up to me like you did. I don't ever want you to feel like you cant tell me what is on your mind. I know you like to be the strong one and I know that you often put on a front, but you don't have to do that around me. I want you to be you, Eliza. I love all of you, but this…how you are right now? This is the woman I see a future with. This vulnerable side to you is what I see as being genuine and honest. The human side of you."

"I'll try harder." She smiles.

"I don't want you to try anything. Especially not harder." I give her a sad smile. "Just remember that I'm only human, too, and we all have worries. We all wait for the day when our significant other comes home and tells us 'they need to talk'. It's just life, baby. We are no different."

"You're right." She smiles as she runs her hand down the side of my naked stomach. "But I do want to try harder…even if just for myself and my own peace of mind."

"Eliza, you are beautiful and you are perfect." I push her back against the mattress and straddle her hips. Dipping my head, I brace myself on my forearms and inch closer to her gorgeous lips. "Everything about you makes me crazy. Absolutely everything. You do you, and the rest will follow."

"How the hell did I manage to get you?" Her voice breaking, I realize that it's time to stem the tears before they even think about falling. This isn't a time to be sad. This is a time to remember. To cherish.

"Because…you are incredible." My lips finding her own, she grips the back of my neck and pulls me in impossibly close. It may only be early morning, but this woman has already given me an amazing day. I know it couldn't possibly get any better, but I know she will try. Knowing that I woke up in her arms this morning will always be one of my favorite things…but I suspect that list is going to grow as time goes on since there is just so much I love about Eliza.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Twenty-Two

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

The coffee shop is crazy busy this morning, but I'm on cloud nine so I'm literally floating around the place today. Everything seems so perfect in my life right now and honestly…I'm not sure I'll ever come down from this high. I'm not sure I'll ever truly experience my old life again. I mean, the weekend wasn't quite as perfect as I wanted it to be, and I had never planned to tell Arizona how I really felt, but I'm glad that I did. I'm happy that my feelings are out there. She's been amazing about it all, she really has, but I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to remember that I've got her. I sleep beside her. It's my hands that are all over her body, and truth be told…I know she only has me on her mind. She only has me in her thoughts.

She's been at the coffee shop for a little over an hour, and she's sitting in her usual spot. It's like the ideal position for us both to see each other fully regardless of where I am in the building. I even have the perfect view of her if I'm out back. Seems we just cannot stay away from each other. Turns out this job was the perfect one for me. Perfect because I met her. Perfect because I get to see her every day. Just… _perfect_.

She's currently sitting with her publisher and you know what…I'm okay with it. She's her publisher and nothing more. So long as I keep telling myself that, everything will be okay. So long as I continue to remind myself of Sunday evening, my mind will stay settled and I won't have any worries. It may be easier said than done, but right now, I'm okay. Cheryl hasn't once given me the impression that I should worry, so I won't. If that day does come, though, I'll call her out on it. I'll call her out on it because no one interferes in my relationship. No one. It didn't work for Teddy so it certainly won't work for this blonde.

Glancing at the clock, a smile appears on my face when I realize it's time to take my break. Usually, I'd sit with my girlfriend, but she looks kinda busy right now. I could hold out a little longer and take it when her publisher is finished, but I'm dead on my feet and I could really use some coffee right now. Fixing myself up an extra large cup, I round the counter and take a seat at an empty table. My cell switched off in my pocket, I take it out and power it up. I'll catch up on any emails and messages I may have and I'll just see my girlfriend tonight…if Cheryl hasn't just piled more pressure on her.

The bell above the coffee shop signaling the arrival of more customers, I glance up and find a familiar face stepping through the door. Amber, one of the dancers from the club gives me a smile and heads my way. "Hey, I hoped I'd find you here."

"Why?" I furrow my brow. "Everything okay?"

"I don't know." Dropping down into a seat, the brunette leans in a little closer and lowers her voice. "Boss wants to see you. Something about you sleeping with a client?"

"W-What?" I scoff.

"Some blonde. Came to the club last week. You were seen leaving with her." Amber gives me a knowing look and I drop my gaze. "Eliza, you know we can't get involved with clients. You've been in this business long enough to know that it's a no go."

"She's my girlfriend." I sigh. "He's going to fire me, isn't he?"

"I don't know, but he's not happy." My colleague admits. "Maybe you can speak to him and reassure him that nothing is going on."

"But it _is_ going on," I state. "And I'm not denying my girlfriend to anyone. He can shove his job before I do that."

"You're willing to risk your career on some client who couldn't resist the fantasy of it all?" She raises an eyebrow. "You love your job…is she really worth it?"

"Yeah." I glance over towards my girlfriend who is now staring at me, her brow furrowed. "She's worth everything."

"Wow." Amber nods. "Guess I don't know you at all."

"No, you do." I smile. "But we all have lives outside of that place, and if I want to spend it with the woman I love, I will."

"Eliza…" She gives me a sad smile. "I get what you are saying, but you signed a contract stating that you would refrain from relationships with clients. You knew this."

"You can't help who you fall in love with, Amber. You'll realize that someday, and she _isn't_ my client." My mind taking me to everything that Arizona is, I'm prepared to face my boss head-on. He can be an asshole when he wants to be, but he pays me well so I guess that's just something I have to put up with. "Who told him?"

"Lois." She shrugs. "She sees it all being on bookings. She watched you guys leaving together. Hand in hand, Eliza. There is probably footage, too."

"That fucking bitch." I laugh. "Should have known she'd pull some shit like this."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, this has to stay between us." I sigh. "The week I arrived here, we got a little friendly. Well, more than friendly. We went out for drinks and one thing led to another and I took her back to my place. I just…I was alone. I had no one here."

"Right, so?"

"She wanted more. Kept calling me. Trying to get handsy at the club when I had a few minutes to myself. I didn't want anything with her, though. She knew that when we went for drinks. I told her it was a casual thing. Obviously, she agreed. I would never have gone there if she hadn't."

"So now she's pissed at you and is causing trouble." Amber sighs. "She's done this before."

"She has?" I ask.

"Yeah. We had a girl. Kinda like you. Best in the business and everyone wanted her. Lois got close and then suddenly, Phoebe was being fired. She left the city and we moved on. Another girl came in…Sasha, but the boss wasn't happy with her being the main attraction and that's where you came into it."

"Right, so she's just a bitch in general then?" I laugh.

"Seems that way." Placing her hand over my own, she gives it a firm squeeze. "Look, Lois has been at the club for a long long time. I'm pretty sure she gives the boss favors, too, so just be careful. Don't let her ruin your career."

"Oh, that ain't happening." I scoff. "That bitch isn't about to take me down. I can promise you that."

"That's the attitude I like." Amber smiles. "I should get going. I have the early shift tonight. Think about how you are going to play this. I'm sure you can figure something out. I'd say deny it, but Lois will have everything covered. She's been around long enough."

"Yeah." I nod. "I'll figure something out." Watching my friend stand, she gives me a small wave and throws me a wink before heading to the exit. _Fuck!_ What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? There is no way I'm leaving Arizona so I can keep my job. Not a chance.

* * *

 ** _Are you coming over to my place tonight? E x_**

 ** _On my way now. Give me five. Az x_**

 ** _Awesome. See you soon. E x_**

Setting my cell down on the coffee table, I finish off my bottle of water and roll my yoga mat up. I needed something to calm me. Something to keep me centered. Yoga is the only thing that truly calms me, so I've spent the past two hours going through my routine and just blocking everything else out in general. Arizona included. If she is on my mind, I'm not giving myself completely to my exercise. I'm not totally freeing my mind and that is exactly what I need right now. Calming music still playing around my living room, I take a few deep breathes and close my eyes. I'm feeling a little better than I did for the rest of my shift earlier, but I know I have to discuss this with Arizona when she walks through my door. I know I have to figure this out with her. I'm prepared to lie to my boss, but I'm not telling him my girlfriend doesn't exist.

A light knocking on the door, a small smile creeps onto my face and I cross the distance of my living room. Unlocking it, I open it to find a tired-looking Arizona staring back at me. "Hey, beautiful." I smile. "You doing okay?"

"No, I'm so freaking tired." She groans as I step aside and she brushes past me. "I need to sleep."

"Busy day, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm totally wiped." Yawning, she makes her way into the living room and shrugs her jacket from her shoulders.

"Maybe I could get a kiss from you before you collapse on my couch and I'm lucky to get two words for the rest of the night?" Raising an eyebrow, she gives me a sad smile and approaches me.

"I'm so sorry…" Her lips finding my own, it's all I need to know that my boss can go suck it. "How was your day?"

"Awful," I admit. "There is something I need to talk to you about."

"O...kay." She draws out. "Anything I should worry about?"

"No." I shake my head and smile. "It can wait a while, though. You should rest up. I'll cook dinner."

"You don't have to do that." She laces her fingers with my own and pulls my body against her. "You've had a bad day, too."

"So?" I shrug. "I want to cook dinner for you. I enjoy it."

"You do?"

"Mmhmm…" Wrapping my arms around her waist, I brush her hair from her face and study her. "Before I met you, I ate alone every night. So, it's nice having someone here to cook for."

"I hate that you ever spent time alone."

"I don't. It meant that once you came into my life, I could appreciate it so much more than I would have if I'd only recently been single."

"Still…I hate the thought of you being here alone."

"Oh, is that a hint, huh?" Laughing, she pulls back and furrows her brow.

"Hint at what?"

"Relax, I'm just joking." I roll my eyes playfully. "I'm not asking you to move in, Arizona."

"Oh." She smiles. "I wouldn't expect you to." Shrugging, she pulls back a little. "What did you want to talk about, anyway?" _Wow, she shot that conversation down quickly_.

"Just something that is happening at work." Releasing her from my grip, I run my fingers through my hair and pull it up into a messy bun. "The boss wants to see me."

"Why?"

"Because someone told him about us." I give her a sad smile and she drops her gaze. "Oh, don't worry. I choose you whatever happens."

"That's really sweet but we both know it isn't as simple as that." Taking a seat, she slumps back against the couch and toys with the string on her hoody. "I don't want you to lose your job." She sighs. "It's important to you, and it would be my fault. You'd never stick around if that happened."

"Hey…" Closing the distance between us, I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table and she lifts her head a little. "That isn't going to happen, Arizona. If I lose my job, I'll get another. I don't think that is going to happen, though, since I'm the best they've ever had."

"Mm, I know that feeling." She smiles. "In all seriousness, though, what are you going to do? You'll have to tell them that I'm not your girlfriend."

"No. I'll tell them you're not my client." I smile. "Because you're not. You've been to the club a handful of times, that's all. It's not like you are regular."

"I've paid you to dance for me, Eliza…I'm pretty sure that will see me as your client regardless of what you tell them."

"I'm going to tell them we were dating when I moved here. I'm going to tell them I met you like a couple of days after I arrived. I just wanted you to be okay with that. I refuse to deny you, Arizona, so that's the only way I can do it."

"I'm okay with that." She nods. "If you think he will go for it, then yeah...that's fine with me."

"Just…there's something else, too." I clear my throat. "Someone intentionally told him about you. It's one of the girls who work the floor."

"So?"

"So, she told him to get back at me," I state. "The week I got here, we went for drinks and well...you know where I'm going with this."

"You slept with her." My girlfriend finishes my sentence for me and I simply nod. "And what? She wanted more?"

"Yeah. I didn't, though. She knew that from the moment we met." I don't know why I'm trying to defend myself. Arizona doesn't seem to be overly concerned by my words. "She tried again a few times over the first few weeks but eventually, she gave up."

"But then she saw me with you and didn't like it." Arizona sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "She's jealous, basically?"

"I guess so, yeah."

"What does that have to do with me, though? Why will that affect anything?"

"Well, it won't…but if I tell my boss that we've been together since I got here, they will assume that I cheated on you. Everyone will already know that Lois and I spent the night together. I've already heard the whispers. I just want you to know that this is purely a lie and I'd never do that to you. You know?"

"Wow." She breathes out. "Seems like a lot of bother for you to go through for someone like me."

"Um, someone like you?" I furrow my brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"When they realize who I am. When they all know that you and I are together…they'll probably laugh at you, Eliza."

"L-Laugh at me?"

"Look at me, and then look at you." She gives me a sad smile. "Are you sure you want them to know that we are together? Are you sure it won't just become some joke at work?"

"You've lost me." I sigh. "I've no idea what you are talking about."

"You are this gorgeous woman with probably the hottest profession in the world. Your friends are all the same way. Then there is me…a writer."

"And…" I give her a questioning look and wait for her to elaborate.

"And that's it." She shrugs. "I'm a writer."

"A writer." I agree.

"Yep...plain. Boring. Ordinary. Not a lot going on in my life. I write fantasy. I write what everyone wants to have in their lives. There is nothing hot about me whatsoever. To you, maybe…but to the general public? Your friends at work? Not one of them would even look twice at me."

"You're not serious." I scoff. "Don't ever say that stuff about yourself again, Arizona. Especially not to me."

"I'm just telling it how it is…"

"No, you're talking absolute crap is what you're doing." Shaking my head, I feel a little disappointed right now. My girlfriend is anything but plain and boring. "I'm actually hurt by what you have just said. Saddened, even."

"Why?"

"Because it's not true. I don't like that you think of yourself that way." My voice close to breaking, I run my hands down my thighs and stand. "I should start dinner." Heading for the kitchen, I grab the ingredients I'm going to need and set them down on the counter. Feeling a presence behind me, I'm so mad right now that I don't even want to carry this conversation on. "Arizona…" I sigh.

"Look at me, Eliza." Turning in her arms, she gives me a sad smile. "I'm perfectly fine with being that way. I like being that way. It keeps me out of trouble."

"No. You are anything but plain and you certainly aren't boring." Repeating her words, I hate speaking them out loud. "And ordinary….no." I shake my head. "Nothing is ordinary about you."

"All I'm saying is...I don't want your friends to turn this into a joke about us. I'd sooner you lied and told them you don't even know me."

"No." My voice breaking, I can't believe what I'm hearing from her right now. "And this discussion is over Arizona. I won't let you talk about yourself that way. You are beautiful and funny and I love everything about you. Don't ever say that to me again."

"You do what you have to do, okay?" Silencing her with my lips, I grip the backs of her thighs and lift her up onto the kitchen counter. My tongue slipping past her lips, she moans and wraps her arms around my neck as I rest between her leg. "I love you." She whispers as I mouth works her neck.

"God, you are so incredibly hot." My nails digging into either side of her stomach, I pull her in a little closer and she tangles her fingers in my hair. "I want the world to know that you are my girlfriend...and those people at work are my colleagues. They're not my friends. Screw what any of them think. I love you too much to care."

"I love it when you get all controlling." She whimpers as I graze my teeth across her jawline. "It's all kinds of hot."

"Mm...that means you will totally be up for the night I have planned then, huh?" Smirking, she narrows her eyes but I simply bite down on my lip. "Stop trying to read me...I'm giving you nothing right now."

"Mm...and I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Thanks for all of your previous likes, follows, favorites and reviews. It means a lot.**


	23. Chapter 23

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Twenty-Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Dinner was amazing. Eliza is an awesome cook and honestly, I could get used to the daily home-cooked meals. I mean, I can throw something together when I need to, but what she has just prepared was simply beautiful. An explosion of flavours in my mouth. She knows what she's doing in the kitchen, though. I sat on the counter and watched her work her magic whilst she concentrated on the task at hand. That was, of course, after she had worked me up and teased me a little. I say a little, but I've been wet since she pulled me up onto that counter and now I can't stop staring at her. Once again I'm back on the counter, only this time she is preparing her snacks for tomorrow. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she sticks to her healthy eating plan without even thinking about straying from it. She has so much more willpower than I'll ever have. It's kind of awesome really. It just shows that it can be done. Me, though…I wouldn't have the patience for it. I love my sweet coffee. I love the muffin that often goes with it, too. I love takeouts and I love that I don't give a crap if I should or shouldn't be eating them. I've never worried about my figure, and I'm pretty lucky that my diet doesn't really show. I'm always on the go, and I'll occasionally run, but that is where my exercise ends. Pulled from my thoughts as Eliza approaches me, she runs her eyes over my body and smiles. "You know, I love seeing you in my clothes."

"I'm in your sweatpants and a tee." I laugh. "Hardly anything special."

"Special to me." She shrugs as she comes to stand between my legs. "Special, and beautiful."

"You're too kind sometimes." I smile. "What's the plan for the rest of the evening?" I ask as she runs her fingertips up and under my tee. Sat back, my hands flat against the counter, she lifts my tee so that my bra is barely on show and licks her way up my stomach. "I-I guess this is pretty self-explanatory…"

"Mmhmm…" She smiles against my skin as her fingers curl beneath the waistband of my sweats and she pulls them down ever so slightly, exposing my skin just above the waistband of my panties. "Your skin is so soft." Nipping and licking at the sensitive skin above blonde curls, my stomach contracts, and my body shudders. Light kisses placed over the same spot, I feel fresh arousal flood between my legs and I know that I need this woman. I don't care where…I just need her. "Feels good, huh?"

"Amazing." I breathe out as she continues to work wonders all over the skin of my stomach. "Like nothing I've experienced before."

"And like nothing you'll ever experience again…" Her words making me smile, I rest back on my elbows and she tugs my sweats down my thighs before throws them to the floor. "I love making you feel good." Spreading my legs, my knees bent and my feet flat on the kitchen counter, she ghosts her fingertips up the inside of my thighs before cupping my material covered center. "These have to go." Slipping them from my body, they fall to the floor and she spreads my folds with her thumbs. "God, you are stunning." Blowing gently against my clit, I almost lose my balance but I somehow manage to stay in the position I'm in. "Everything about you sends me wild with want, Arizona." Her tongue poking out, she runs it the length of my center and my breath catches in my throat. "Shit, you are soaked."

"F-Fuck, Eliza." Teasing my entrance, I have to stop myself from bucking against her mouth, but I'm struggling. I'm struggling because I need her inside of me. Deep. Just how she knows I like it. She is a master at working my body better than anyone else ever has, and I need to feel that right now. I need to feel wanted and I need to feel the intense release I know I have building deep within me. "T-Touch me." I gasp as she runs her tongue up my center once more. "Please…"

"Oh, no." She smiles against me. "I call the shots right now." Pulling back, she moves away from me and stands with her arms folded across her chest. "Just deciding what to do with you, first."

"Oh god." I moan as every nerve ending in my body ignites. Her eyes are dark, her teeth are digging into her bottom lip…everything about her is so very very hot right now. Everything is screaming for me to take this woman like never before. She has different plans, though. I can see it in her eyes. "Eliza…"

"Quiet, Arizona." Stepping closer to me, she motions for me to come a little closer and I sit forward. My feet dropping from the counter. "I'm taking this to the bedroom."

"Thank god." I breathe out.

"Don't thank me yet." She smirks. Pulling a piece of material from the back pocket of her jeans, she takes it between her teeth and lifts my tee up and over my head. Narrowing my eyes, I quickly realize that she has a blindfold hanging from her mouth and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that right now. I mean, I trust her. I trust her with my life. Blindfolds are new to me, though. They're very new to me. "You ready?"

"F-For what?" I stutter, my nerves getting the better of me.

"For me to make you feel better than you've ever felt before." She deadpans. "Get down."

Climbing down from the counter, my feet hit the floor and I'm standing in nothing but my bra. "I, uh…" Dropping my gaze, I don't even know what to say to her right now.

"Look at me." She demands. My eyes meeting her own, she brings the blindfold up to my eyes and ties it gently around the back of my head. "Do you trust me?" She asks, her tone a little softer. "I need to know that you trust me."

"Y-Yes," I whisper. "I trust you."

"Then move your ass…" Taking my hands in her own, she guides me through her home and to what I assume is the staircase. "Watch your footing." Even when she is trying to be in control, she can't help but allow a little of herself to shine through. Slowly taking the stairs one at a time, I reach the flat and my stomach begins to somersault. I do trust her, but I've no idea what she has in store for me. I guess it's a mixture of nerves and excitement, but whatever it is…I'm beyond aroused right now. It's the uncertainty. The not knowing what is about to come. _God, this is hot._ Reaching the bedroom door, she guides me inside and unclasps my bra. "You won't be needing this." Her teeth grazing my nipple, I gasp and stumble back a little, her hand pressed flat against my chest between my breasts. "Lie down." She demands.

Doing as she asks, I shift a little on the bed and reach my hands up so I know I'm close to the headboard. "W-What are you going to do?" I ask, a little intrigued.

"That is for me to know…" She laughs as I hear her lower the zipper of her jeans. Different sounds and movements going on around me, I have no choice but to lie here and wonder what the hell is going on. Hearing the sound of another zipper, I furrow my brow and try to recognize what she is doing. It's no use, though. I'm literally blind to everything around me right now and there is nothing I can do about it. "…And for you to lie there and take."

The bed dipping to my right, I glance that way but again…I see nothing. I can feel my girlfriend's presence beside me, and her scent is sending my head a little dizzy, but that's all I'm getting from her. "Hands above your head." She states as she trails something silky up my stomach. "Now, Arizona." _Jesus Christ._ Doing as she asks, she fixes the material around my wrists perfectly before tying me to the bed. "Beautiful." She whispers as she dips her head and runs her tongue across my bottom lip. Arousal seeping from my body, I arch my hips a little and hope to god that she recognizes my want for her. "What's up, baby? Do you need something?" She asks as she disappears from beside me.

"Y-You, Eliza." My knees bent, I dig my heels into the bed and squeeze my thighs together. "God, I need you bad right now."

"Patience, pretty lady." I know she's smirking. I can feel it. "Does it make you wet, Arizona?" Silence falling around us, I don't respond and honestly, I don't know what is about to come. _Everything about this moment is making me wetter than I've ever been._ "Does it make you wet knowing I can do whatever I want to you right now?"

"Fuck…" The word leaving my lips barely above a whisper, I force my ass into the bed and squirm a little.

"Well?" My legs spreading, one hand trails up my inner thigh and I could come right now given half the chance. "Does it?"

"Eliza…" I beg. "Please."

"Please what?" She asks, her tone void of anything.

"Please just fucking do something. Anything." Her hand gripping my jaw a little tighter than I would usually allow, she tilts my head back and my mouth falls open. Slipping her tongue inside, she runs it across the roof of my mouth and I swear she is doing unimaginable things to my body right now.

"Better?" She asks as she drops her hand from my neck.

"No," I whisper. "Fucking worse."

"Shame...it's all you are getting right now." That smug tone in her voice causing me to try and wriggle free of the tie around my wrists, I groan and release a deep sigh. The end of the bed dipping, she kneels between my very open legs and grazes her nails up my calf. "You know, I always wondered what your reaction would be to lying here totally helpless."

"Well, now you know…so can you please just fuck me."

"Attitude." She sighs. "Not what I was hoping for, but I can work with it." Turning my body slightly, my ass is now accessible to her and I know exactly what is coming. I've never been spanked before, but I suspect that is what is about to happen. How do I feel about it? I don't feel anything about it right now. I can't because I'm throbbing for her touch and I know it's only going to push me closer to the edge. The edge that seems so damn far away. A sharp smack on my ass, all breath leaves my body and wow…I've never experienced this before. Total euphoria. Like, my mind has completely gone right now. I'm not sure I'll ever be the same again. Gasping as she repeats her action, she soothes my sensitive skin with the palm of her hand. "Now, less of the attitude and I'll give you exactly what you want."

"H-How many?" I ask as my body returns to the flat position it was in before.

"How many what?"

"How many women have you done this to?" I moan as her tongue runs up my stomach. "All of them?"

"No." She circles my nipple. "Just one." Sucking it into her mouth, she releases it with a pop. "Just you."

"I find that hard t-to believe…" A guttural moan leaving my mouth as my girlfriend caresses the skin between my thighs, I arch my hips but she pushes them back down into the bed. "God, you're killing me right now."

"I know…" Eliza groans as she removes her hand from where she knows I need it. God, I've never needed it as much as I do right now.

"Please touch me." I plead.

Her hand ghosting up my neck, she reaches behind my head and releases the blindfold from my eyes. Straddling my legs, she forces herself down against me and my body screams for relief. "How much do you want me…" She gives me a sad smile and tilts her head to the side. Dipping her hand between our bodies, she runs a single digit through my arousal and her eyes narrow. "That's much, huh?"

"Oh God." My eyes rolling to the back of my head, I bite down on my bottom lip and try to hold off on my orgasm that is approaching faster than ever before. "Baby…"

"How much?"

"More than ever." I moan as I force my hips up and my own soaked sex connects with her material covered center. Lifting my head, I glance down my girlfriend's body and almost come. Nothing but a pair of black lace pantie's and a pair of thigh-high boots covering her body, I don't know what planet I'm even on anymore. "Shit." My head falling back down, I tug at the silk restraint but it just won't fucking budge.

"You wanna touch yourself?"

"I'll do anything right now," I admit.

"Shame." She smiles. "You're a little tied up right now."

"Please make me come," I whine. "Please."

"I'm going to touch you, but you hold it." She raises an eyebrow and gives me a hard stare. "I'm warning you, Arizona."

"O-Okay." I lie. There is no way I can hold off on anything. Once she touches me. Once she _truly_ touches me…I'm gone. I know it. Two fingers pressing against my throbbing clit, my body almost lifts entirely from the bed but Eliza keeps me in place. Tugging at the restraint holding my arms up, she shakes her head and I stop fighting. If I try anything, she will only stop what she is about to do, and I really don't want her to stop. She _can't_ stop. "F-Fuck." A little more pressure applied, I try to maneuver my body so that she is really touching me, but she is planted firmly against me, and there's no way I'm moving anywhere. "Eliza, please."

"What do you need?" She whispers as she leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips. It's the softest she's been since she brought me into the bedroom, and it makes me smile. "Tell me…"

"I need you to fuck me." Whispering against her lips, her fingers disappear from my clit and she shifts so she now has a knee between my legs. "Do it, Eliza," I demand.

"Do it?" She asks, a little taken back. "Is that any way to speak to the woman who holds your orgasm in her hands right now?" Taking my nipple between her finger and her thumb, she pinches and tugs as she presses her knee against my core.

"N-No." I close my eyes and sigh. "I'm sorry."

"That's better." She replies. My eyes opening again, I find her staring back at me, her eyes burning into my soul. Pushing two fingers into me unsuspectingly, my eyes widen and my mouth hangs open. "And that…" She smiles. "...is the exact reaction I was hoping for." Pushing deeper, she curls her fingers slightly and massages that spot. That spot that is going to have me screaming any minute now. "Feel good?"

"Mm." I'm trying to block out what she is saying to me. If I don't, I won't hold on and I know she wants me to.

"I want your words…" She states. Her thumb resting against my clit, I shake my head and squirm beneath her. "Now!"

"I-I…" My chest heaving, she gives me a knowing look. "Eliza…"

"Yes, baby?"

"Please let me come." My own words causing my body to grip onto the edge, she stills her movements and I stop breathing. I swear if she pulls out I'm going to cry. Cry, and then slowly die. "Please…"

"Don't you dare come, Arizona." Her controlling behavior only turning me on even more, she feels my walls tighten around her fingers and she smiles. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"Not when you are so fucking deep inside of me, no."

Her fingers resuming their movements, I curl my hands into fists and she hits a little harder and a little deeper. "God, you're throbbing." She moans as she dips her head and takes a nipple between her teeth. "I love making you feel like this." Sucking harder, all breath leaves my body and my body begins to writhe and convulse beneath her. "Dripping and desperate…"

"Eliza, I can't." My words low, my stomach tightens and my wrists burn as she slams into me. "I-I, Oh fuck...Eliza. I'm co-" Cutting myself off, my orgasm crashes through me but she doesn't stop. She doesn't slow. She is fixed on me alone right now. Her focus purely on me barely breathing beneath her. "Shit...I-I."

"Ride it out, Arizona." Her lips attaching to my neck, she sucks and nips at my skin. "You wanted to come, so you'll take it…and you will take it good."

"Jesus fucking Christ." I moan as she wiggles her fingers inside of me and rolls her thumb over my clit. Tugging the silk tie from my wrists, my arms drop behind my head and she slams into me again. "Eliza…" One hand gripping her shoulder, my nails dig in and I wrap a leg around her waist. "Fuck...you feel amazing inside of me. Don't stop." I pant. "Don't ever stop."

"I'll always fuck you better than anyone else, Arizona." Another orgasm crashing through me, I hold my breath and my body completely stiffens. She knows exactly how to make me feel good. She knows exactly where to touch me and when. Sure, this was torture for me, but the end result? Wow. Slowing her movements before pleasure turns to pain, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and smirks. "You, my beautiful girlfriend, are _anything_ but plain and boring." Crushing her lips against my own, she moans into my mouth and grinds down against my thigh.

Her words making me smile a little, I'd totally forgotten the conversation we had earlier. I don't see what I said as an insecurity, it's just how I see myself. I don't flaunt what I have. I don't put myself out there and hope that the world falls to their knees for me. I'm just me. Arizona. A writer. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be any other way.

Still working my body, I'm slowly coming down from my incredible high, and I know that Eliza is ready for round two. Sure, I may be a little sore and aching tomorrow, but it will always be worth it. Every moment I spend with her will always be worth it. Flipping our bodies, I straddle my girlfriend and force her hands down on the bed. "Now who's in control, huh?"

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Twenty-Four

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ELIZA'S POV

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Last night was intense. Last night was everything I'd never imagined I'd ever even do in the bedroom, or anywhere for that matter. I couldn't help it, though. Arizona just brings out all kinds of different sides to me and honestly…it's so hot. She's hot. Everything about my girlfriend leaves me incredibly aroused, and last night I had to have her in the exact way that I did. Maybe it was because of how she had spoken about herself before dinner. Maybe it was because I needed her to know that she was nothing like what she was describing herself as. I don't know. I just needed her to feel everything. I needed to see her writhe and scream beneath me how she did. I think she needed it, too. I think she needed that control for a few moments to feel exactly what she did. I could be wrong, and she may have hated it, but I could see it in her eyes when I removed that blindfold. I could see the intensity of the color of her beautiful eyes changing with every second I had her tied to my bed. Yeah…she loved it.

Glancing up at my body in the mirror, I smile when I find numerous love bites scattered over my skin. Reminding me that we spent the night together again. Reminding me that Arizona was on top of my body last night. _God, I can't ever get her off of my mind._ It's not a bad thing, but I find myself totally losing concentration for most of the day lately. She is all I think about, and honestly, it's nice. It's nice to have a woman on my mind rather than constantly thinking about work. A new routine. New Lingerie. It's nice to have normal thoughts.

Pulling my workout hoody over my head, I leave the bathroom and make my way back to the sleeping form of my girlfriend. I tried so hard not to wake her this morning because I know she has a busy day ahead of her, and it seems it worked. Peering inside, I find her flat out on her stomach, her hair splayed around her. _Fucking beautiful._ Creeping inside, I lift the cover up and over her body a little better and she snuggles down into her pillow, the sheet fisted tightly against her chest. _I could watch her forever._ Leaning down, I place a soft kiss on her forehead and smile. "I love you…" My words barely above a whisper, I step back towards the door and she smiles.

"I love you, too." Her voice filled with sleep, she cracks one eye open and watches me watching her. "I hate it when you leave so early."

"Sorry, baby." I give her a sad smile. "I have to work out."

"I know." She yawns as she shifts a little in our bed. _Whoa, hold up!_ "I'll see you soon, though."

"You will." I rest my body against the frame of the door and give her a nod in agreement. "I've lit the fire, and the coffee machine is ready whenever you are. Just get some more sleep and I'll be home before you know it." _Okay, stop! Your home…not hers._

"Be careful, okay?"

"You know it." Backing up out of the bedroom, I close the door behind me and leave my girlfriend to get another hour or so before she has to begin her own day. I have to work, and she does, too…but we will probably be back here later on this evening so I'm not too worried. I also get to spend most of my shift watching her if she plans to work from the coffee shop today, so yeah…it's going to be a good day. I can feel it.

Heading down the staircase, I grab my iPod and leave my home. The home that currently has a beautiful naked woman in my bed. The home that lately seems to be filled with love and happiness. The home that I know I can lock myself away in, with my girlfriend, and nothing but our own company once the sun begins to set.

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"Your bed was way too warm and comfortable to leave this morning." Currently taking my break, I joined Arizona at her usual table around ten minutes ago. "I miss it already." She smiles.

"Well, I'm sure it misses you, too." I roll my eyes as I sip my coffee. "You know, I love how you prefer my bed to me."

"Oh, I don't." She smiles as she shakes her head. Lowering her tone, she leans in a little closer and narrows her eyes. "I'll always prefer to be _in you,_ than _in_ your bed." A slight blush creeping up my face, I drop my gaze and bite down on my bottom lip. "Uh, you aren't allowed to be shy…" She raises her eyebrow. "Not after your behavior last night."

"Oh my god." I groan. "Shut up, Arizona."

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "It was unimaginably hot." She shrugs. "All that blindfolding and spanking."

"Seriously?" I sink down into my seat and she gives me a smile which tells me she is only teasing. "Can we not talk about my crazy dominating behavior last night?"

"Shame…" She sighs. "I could talk about _that_ all day long."

"Oh my god." Holding my hands up to my face, I shake my head and I can feel my face burning through my palms. "Please, stop."

"Sorry." Leaning in a little closer, she takes my hand in her own and gives it a firm squeeze. "I don't know why you are embarrassed, though."

"I'm not." I sigh. "I just can't believe I did that," I admit. "You asked, you know, about how many times I'd done it before…"

"I did." She nods.

"That really was the first time." I shrug. "I don't even know where that came from."

"Well, you'd better remember what made you do it because it was freaking hot." She laughs. "Wow!"

"Yeah?" I wrinkle my nose. "Really?"

"God, yes." She sits back in her seat and studies my face, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip. "Okay, stop thinking about it."

"Uh, you're the one who brought it up." I deadpan. "You're the one who doesn't seem to be able to control yourself…"

"No, but you controlled me last night, huh?"

"Okay, this conversation is over." I hold up my hands. "I can't work with you on my mind in the position you were in last night. I just…I can't."

"That's where it's beneficial to me…" She throws me a wink. "You know…for my book."

"You wouldn't." I scoff and she raises her eyebrow, a slight smirk forming on her beautiful mouth. "Y-You are, aren't you?"

"Maybe." She shrugs.

"Okay, I'm going to leave now." I stand and give her a look. "Anything you put in that book, I want to see it before anyone else."

"Wouldn't you rather wait?" She furrows her brow. "You know…all that anticipation? The not knowing?"

"Nope." I shake my head. "I want to see it. Got it?"

"Hey…" She calls me back over and I approach her, leaning down a little closer. "You're not in the bedroom now, beautiful. I call the shots on this one."

"Ugh!" I drop my head on my shoulders. "You're killing me so I'm leaving." Moving away from my girlfriend, I can feel her eyes on me but I don't turn back. If I do, she will only give me some sex stare and I can't be around that right now. I'm already aching to touch her again, so no…I cannot look back.

 _Keep moving forward, Eliza._ It's the right thing to do. I know that. It doesn't mean I don't want to take her in front of this entire coffee shop, though. It doesn't mean I don't want to bend her over that table she is working at and pound into her like my life depends on it. God, I do…but work is work, and I have to keep our relationship separate from those thoughts. I'd never finish a shift if I didn't.

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"You wanted to see me?" I step into my boss's office and he motions for me to come inside further.

"Close the door and take a seat." He demands. No emotion on his face. Nothing in his eyes. "You know what this is about?" He asks.

"No idea, sorry." Rounding the chair, I drop down into it and make myself a little more comfortable. This could take a while. "Everything okay?"

"No, it's not." He laces his fingers together and sits forward, leaning against his huge oak desk. "One of my staff has brought it to my attention that you are dating clients."

"Um...that's wrong." I furrow my brow. I can play most people anytime, and this guy is no different. There's a reason I got away with so much growing up. I'm a great liar. "Who is this client?"

"Well, I was hoping you could tell me that…"

"Sorry, Boss." I shrug. "Can't help you."

"So the blonde you left with last week was who exactly?"

"Oh, that was my girlfriend." I smile. "Maybe the staff member in question could have just asked me that and I'd have told her who it was."

"She is under the impression that she has booked your girlfriend in here more than once." He states.

"Probably has." I laugh. "She's lived here a while now. Way before I arrived. It's no secret that she enjoys coming here to unwind."

"So, she _is_ your client?"

"No." I shake my head. "She is my girlfriend who I met _before_ I started working here…it just so happens that I'm okay with her still coming to the club."

"Something doesn't add up here." He narrows his eyes and studies my face for any signs of untruth. "You met her here, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't." I smile. "If she wants to come here, who am I to stop here? Who am I to take _your_ business away from you?"

"When did you meet?"

"Three days after I arrived," I reply. "So, a little over a week before I started working for you. In my book, that says she _isn't_ a client. Maybe in some way she is, but she was my girlfriend before she was my client."

"So what do we do about this?" He asks, looking at me like I'm supposed to have the answer on the tip of my tongue.

"I don't know why we have to _do_ anything about it." I shrug as I sit back in my seat. "I come to work, I do my job. She comes by occasionally, and pays like everyone else."

"I don't like this." He drops his gaze. "I don't want this happening at my club. Once one starts doing it, they all do. It's not acceptable and I can't allow it."

"Guess you'll have to let me go then." I sigh.

"What?" He asks, incredulously. "You mean you'd leave your job for some woman?"

"Yeah, I guess I would." I give him a nod. "I mean, I'd move on elsewhere. Somewhere where I was appreciated for what I do, not who I date." Standing, I pull my purse up to my shoulder and head for the door. "You have a great thing going on here, Pete, and I hope you'll continue to thrive. I'm sure one of the girls will cover my shifts until you find someone else. Good luck, though, because you won't find better than me. You know that." Opening the door, I'm about to step out when he stands.

"Whoa, wait!" He stops me. "Who said you'd have to leave? I came to Cali for you, Eliza. You are the foundation of this place."

"Well, that's what I thought but it seems those favors Lois gives out to you and whoever else she feels like around here doesn't always do you any good. It may have worked with other dancers in the past, but it won't work with me."

"Who told you about that?" He asks, swallowing hard.

"It doesn't matter who, but we all know." I shrug. "Luckily, none of us care enough to bring it up, usually. Figured you should know that I won't be demanded to, though, and I certainly won't walk away from the woman that I love so I can keep a job where guys stare at my tits all night. I love my job, but I don't love it _that_ much."

"This stays between us." He points between us. "She is your client in here, nothing more."

"Whatever you want to believe." I smile. "See you Friday." Stepping out into the open area, I glance around and find it pretty quiet for early evening. It will fill up soon, but that doesn't matter to me because I'm heading home to my girlfriend and we will be locked away from all of this. Grabbing my cell from my purse as I step out into the open air, I pull up my contacts and hit the message tab.

 ** _On my way over to your place. You home? E x_**

 ** _Sure. Just working. I'll leave the door open for you. Come on in. Az x_**

 ** _See you in ten. E x_**

Locking my cell and shoving it back into my purse, I head down the street with a smile on my face. I was raised to fight for what I want, and I just did. The fight was a little less than I expected, but that can only work in my favor. Pete is a great guy, but he's no different to anyone else I've worked for in the past. Usually, I'd have just said screw it and ended my relationship, but Arizona means the world to me, and she definitely means more than any job ever will.

Crossing the street, I can see Arizona's apartment from here and it only makes me smile even harder. Last night was awesome in every way possible, but tonight I want her in my arms. I just want to hold her and feel her heart beating. I just want conversation and happiness. Maybe a little playing thrown in at some point, too. Reaching her apartment door, I press the code she gave me a few days ago and it grants me access to the main building. Taking the elevator to the second floor, I straighten myself out a little and head for her apartment. The door cracked open ever so slightly, my heart speeds up a little at the knowledge that she is just a few steps away from me.

Weird, I know. How my mind and my body to respond to her…but I'm getting used to it. I'm getting used to that overwhelming sense of just needing her with me. Everywhere. Anywhere. So long as we are in the same room, I'm satisfied. Glancing around her place as I push the door open, I find her sitting at her desk and the very slight sound of dulled music coming from her way. Closing the door quietly, I cross the distance and find her reading something from her book, her ears occupied with music flowing through the tiny speakers.

Not standing too close so that she doesn't know I'm here, I glance over her shoulder and narrow my eyes, focusing them on the screen in front of me. _This could be interesting._ I've wanted to get the gist of her new book since I knew she was writing one, and now is the perfect opportunity to do so.

 _"It had been a long day, and she knew that the only way to truly relax was in the arms of Elise. What she hadn't expected, though, was to find herself tied to the bed and aroused beyond belief. This wasn't her. This wasn't the kind of sex she would usually take part in. The problem was, she couldn't stop this. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't. Elise was making her feel better than she ever had, and the domination of it all was only going to tip her over the edge the moment her fingers connected with her sensitive body. It was too much, but not enough at the same time. Everything about this moment would forever be burnt into her memory, and the more she thought about what was to come, the more she needed to feel this woman. The more she needed to be taken like never before…"_

Wow, this is kinda hot. I mean, I know my girlfriend writes her novels like this, but it's actually making me feel a little aroused right now. That's a lie, I'm soaked from reading that one small snippet. That's Arizona, though…she does this to me without even knowing I'm in the room.

 _"The temperature in the room creeping up by the second, she knew that this night was going to be one to savor. One to remember. She had never felt this way in the presence of another woman, and although Elise was hot and mysterious, she had seen a different side of her. One filled with love and honesty. One filled with passion. Passion for life, and passion for everything their relationship could potentially bring. This, though…this was a side she never thought she would experience. The total want emanating from Elise and the total disregard for anything that may be seen as proper, she wanted this. She needed this. She needed to truly let go and experience this woman in her entirety. She needed to be taken and she needed it sooner rather than later…"_

Smiling as my girlfriend clears her throat, I glance down the page, and it starts to get a little more steamy. Well, I say steamy…but it's probably more along the lines of borderline filth. The problem is, I can't take my eyes off of the screen, and I can't help notice the fact that Arizona is beginning to shift a little uncomfortably in her seat. _Writing about me turns her on. I like it._ This could be interesting, and very very hot. Smirking to myself, I bite down on my bottom lip as my girlfriend ghosts her own hand up and down her thigh. She doesn't have any pants on, and even though I find that a little odd, I won't make a comment on it. I mean, who doesn't love to return from work to find their woman in nothing but a tank top and panties?

 _"That intense sensation building in the pit of her stomach as she felt strong fingers fill her so perfectly, she knew this was the woman for her. She knew this would always be the woman for her. Blindfolded and bound or not, she was enjoying every second of this and she knew that this could become something new in the bedroom. The control. The domination. The words Elise used as she took her body to highs she'd never experienced. Yeah, she knew this was their thing now…"_

Oh my god. She's going to do it. She's going to touch herself whilst she reads back her writing about me. I don't even know how I'm still standing right now, but I ain't about to miss this free show. I ain't about to walk away and leave her to get on with it. _God, this is so incredibly hot._ My own arousal spilling from my center, it's only a matter of time before she knows I'm here. It's only a matter of time before she feels my presence around her. _Please don't turn around. Please don't stop what is about to happen._ Just when I thought she couldn't get any hotter, I'm surprised.

 _"Strong fingers slamming into her, she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on for. She knew she wanted to, but her body was going against everything her mind wanted right now. Her body was controlling this, and she knew that once that sensation hit a certain high, there was no turning back. There was no way of delaying the heart-stopping orgasm she was about to have. Because it would be. It would steal her breath. It would stiffen her body. It would make her come like never before. Elise was incredible in every aspect of their relationship, but the domination? It was her new favorite thing. It was her new love in her relationship. She would allow this woman to dominate her time and time again…"_

Arizona's hand slipping beneath the waistband of her panties, I drop my gaze and watch as she moves her fingers through her folds. I know she is wet…I can hear it. It's only turning me on more than a few seconds ago, but I wish that was me. I wish I was the one making her feel good. I guess in a way I am since it's me who she is writing about, but still…I want to be the one making her come. I want to physically be that person. _I can't take my eyes off of her, though._ As much as I want to, I simply can't. Her breath catching in her throat as she continues to read through her work, I smirk and close my eyes. The sound of her dripping center is like music to my ears, and it's incredibly arousing to know that our experience has left a mark on her.

 _"Sex filling the air as Elise relentlessly slammed into her, her moans turned into cries and suddenly her hands were being released from the bed. Never slowing, and never lessening the strength of her thrusts, Elise knew what was coming. She knew that this woman was going to come hard and she knew that she would be the one to do that to her body. Her body stiffening, her orgasm crashed through her but it didn't stop. None of her movements stopped…"_

My girlfriend's moans turning a little louder, I close my eyes and take in every sound. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to finish the job?" Her words pulling me from my dirty thoughts, I open my eyes and smile when I find her feet up on her desk and her legs spread. "Well?" She glances over her shoulder.

"Oh God." I moan as she drops one leg and allows me to climb between her legs. "Fuck…where do you want me?" I ask as she keeps on with the movements between her legs.

"I want your mouth." She moans as she throws her head back. "And I want it now." Dropping to my knees, I push her panties to one side and I'm a little shocked at just how wet she is.

"Shit…" I breathe out as my tongue runs up the length of her sex. "You certainly know how to take care of yourself."

"Mm…" She moans as she presses her fingers against her clit. "But why take care of myself when you can do it so much better."

"Jesus Christ," I whisper as she circles her fingers over her throbbing clit. "Keep doing that." I moan as my tongue toys with her entrance. Dipping inside a little, she gasps and I have to hold back the smile I have coming.

"And you keep doing that." She groans as her fingers tangle in my hair and she forces my mouth against her. "Shit, I can't…" She gasps. "Eliza…I-I, oh god I'm gonna come."

"Mmhmm…" I hum, knowing exactly what reaction the vibration will cause. Her grip in my hair tightening, she bucks her hips against my mouth and my tongue slips in and out of her entrance. A little deeper every time.

"Yes, right there." Her chest heaves. "Fuck, yes. Oh god...oh, oh shit…" Her body convulsing against my mouth, her fingers disappear and I suck her clit into my mouth. "Eliza, o-oh." Gasping when I slip a finger inside, I curl it and massage her favorite spot. "God, what the hell are you doing to me."

"Just checking there isn't anything else for me to clean up," I whisper as I release her swollen bud. "You know, I need to get what I can."

"Ugh." Her body shaking as shockwaves ripple through her, I still my movements inside of her and lap up every last drop of arousal. "You are amazing…" She whispers as her thighs clamp around my head and I glance up at her, licking my lips. "Mm, that was a nice welcome from work."

"I do try." She smirks. "Now, come up here and give me a kiss. I missed you…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Not sure if you are still breathing after the last chapter, but I hope you are all still with me ;D**


	25. Chapter 25

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Twenty-Five

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

"O-Oh!" A gasp leaving my girlfriends mouth, I sink my teeth into her ass and she squirms against my bed. She needs something more. She needs a little friction. "Fuck, Arizona." She forces her hips down against the mattress, her hands bound to the frame of my bed. Sprawled out on her stomach, I've been teasing her for the past hour or so, and honestly…I'm not sure I can hold off any longer. She is all kinds of hot when she isn't in control and right now I want to fuck her like never before. I want to make her feel exactly how she made me feel last night. Helpless but so very very aroused. Like, aroused to the point where you wonder if you will ever be the same again. She loves this just as much as I did, and her naked centre on show for me only confirms just how much she is enjoying herself. Her juices literally dripping from her body, I've never wanted to drink someone up as much as I do in this moment. This woman has totally changed me and I never want to return to my old ways. This experience is so much more fun than anything I'm used to. "Touch me…" She demands.

Her attitude causing a sharp smack to her ass, she moans into the pillow her face is buried in and wiggles her ass a little. "Don't demand to me!" I scoff. "You'll get what I want to give exactly when I'm ready." My own centre throbbing for this woman, I have to hold off on my own moans of pleasure. "Get on your knees."

"I-I can't…" She whines. "If I move, I'm going to come Arizona." Dipping my head, I drag my tongue up the back of her thigh and I feel her body shudder.

"On your fucking knees now." I breathe against her center. "And don't even think about coming…"

"Ugh, baby…please?" She cries as I grip her hips and lift her body up onto her knees, her upper body still flat on the bed. "A-Arizona, fuck." Squeezing her thighs together, she tries to give herself a little pleasure but it only causes another smack to her ass. "I-I can't…"

"Can't what?" I ask. "Do as you are fucking told?"

"God, you are so hot like this." She moans as she turns her head away from the pillow, trying to settle her breathing as best as she can. "Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?"

"Mm, I can see exactly how much you want me…" My fingertip grazing her entrance, her legs part as wide as possible and I smile to myself. "I'm just wondering how amazing you must taste right now."

"W-Why don't you find out…" She moans as my finger dips inside of her, barely. "Shit."

"Why don't you just keep your mouth shut and let me do whatever I want to your body?" I suggest. _God, this is harder than I thought it would be._ I just want to slam into her right now, but I need just another minute or two to really make her scream when the time comes.

"Fuck, yes." My finger dipping a little deeper inside, she is absolutely soaked right now.

"Do I have to gag you again?" I ask. _God, that was hot._

"Oh, God." She whispers. "Do what you want to me…you own my ass after all."

"Good to see that you remember that…" I place a soft kiss to her ass before grazing the back of my hand down her center. "How much do you need me right now?" Running my tongue through her arousal, I'm ready to come here and now. I desperately want to touch myself but I can't. This is Eliza's night, and she has already made me feel fucking amazing today whilst I was sat at my desk. My tongue working her clit, she tries to pull away from her restraints but it's no use. She is completely helpless right now. "Move again and I stop."

"Sorry." She whispers.

"Mmhmm…" My hum causing a vibration to ripple through her sex, she forces her ass back against me and I unsuspectingly slip my tongue in her entrance. "Mm…" Slipping back out, I push her back down against the bed and hold her body in place. Pushing two fingers deep inside of her, she tries to move her body but I've got her firmly held in place. "Take it, Eliza." Pushing deeper with each thrust, her breath catches in her throat every time.

"M-More…" She gasps. Adding a third finger, I sink into her and her body trembles.

"Fuck, yes." She slams her ass back against my hand and I know she wants everything I've got. "You see how fucking good you fill me?"

"Mm…" Unable to take my eyes off of her body, her sex sucks me in deeper than ever before. Her walls tightening, I add a little extra strength behind my thrusts and bring my left hand underneath her stomach, grazing her clit. "So fucking tight." I moan as I bring her to one hell of a high. "You wanna come, huh?"

"God, yes." She breathes out. "Please don't stop, baby." Quickening my pace, I pound her into the bed, her hands still bound. "Fuck, A-Arizona…oh god, yes." Barely able to move inside of her, I curl my fingers and hit that spot. "O-Oooh, s-shittttt." Her orgasm crashing through her, my arm under her stomach is the only thing holding her up. My hand dripping with her arousal, I've never felt as fulfilled as I do right now. Pleasuring Eliza will always be my favourite activity, but I can see why she enjoys the control so much. I mean, look at the outcome. She is barely conscious on my bed and still moaning. "S-Still c-coming." She gasps as I slow my movements. Tugging her restraints free, her hands drop to the best and she immediately fists them in the sheet beneath her.

"Better?" I smile.

"Mm…" Is all the reply I get from her. Coming down from her intense high, her hands slowly release their grip and she slumps down onto the bed, her knees buckling from underneath her. Slowly slipping out of her, she whimpers at the loss of contact but doesn't move. "You doing okay down there?"

"Holy fuck!" She gasps. "What the hell have you just done to me?"

"I do believe that it's better known as fucking you good."

"Wow…" She smiles as I settle down beside her. "Good is an understatement."

"Now you know how I felt last night." Placing a soft kiss on her lips, she smiles against my lips and closes her eyes. "I love you."

"God, I love you, too." She whispers. "Like you wouldn't believe."

* * *

Waking in my girlfriend's arms, a slight smile creeps onto my face and I turn, nuzzling into her chest. God, she is just so warm and comfortable in the morning. I know it's only early because the sunlight is barely creeping through, but I love this time. I love it because everything is so peaceful outside, and I get to lie here and watch Eliza sleep. Creepy, maybe…but I don't care. I could spend my life watching her sleep. I could spend my life taking in her perfect eyebrows and her perfect jawline. She's just an absolute beauty.

I want to wake her but I shouldn't. I just love being in her company, but I guess I should just be grateful that she is even here. I mean, it could have all ended totally differently a few weeks ago, but she is here, in my bed, and god, I'm so in love right now. It's kinda ridiculous how much love I have for her. Some would say that we barely know each other, and yeah…I guess that's true, but I love her regardless. I'm not sure there is anything she could tell me that I would find off-putting, that's how strong my feelings are for her. "Stop watching me…"

"I wasn't." I lie.

"You're a terrible liar." She smiles, her eyes still closed.

"And you are a beautiful sleeper." I counter. "But can you wake up?"

"Why?" She cracks one eye open. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just miss you." I shrug. "Is that a good enough reason?"

"I guess so." She smirks. "You have no idea what you did to me last night." Shifting a little closer to me, our noses are almost touching and I simply look into her eyes. "It was hot but so beautiful."

"Yeah?" I whisper, my lips grazing her own. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"You could never hurt me." She states. "You are perfect, Arizona."

"You just make me feel totally different to anything I've ever felt," I admit. "I probably sound pathetic saying that, but it's true."

"Pathetic?" She furrows her brow.

"Yeah, just like…I mean, I'm not boring in the bedroom, but the way you make me feel? Wow." I breathe out. "You make me feel like I've been missing out on so much."

"Yeah?" A smug smile creeps onto her face. "I really make you feel that way?"

"You do." I nod. "See, I told you it was pathetic. I'm pathetic."

"Hey!" She raises her eyebrow, our fingers lacing together beneath the sheets. "Don't you ever talk about my girlfriend like that again."

"Adorable." I sigh, my dimples popping. "Can I spend tonight with you, too?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She agrees. "My place or yours?"

"Yours," I suggest. "Unless you have stuff to do and you don't need me around."

"I'll always need you around." Rolling on top of me, she brushes my hair from my face and places light kisses on my nose. "I want comfy. Sweats. Snacks. Movies. Most of all, though, I want you."

"I can do all of the above." I grip her jaw lightly and pull her in for a soft kiss. "Only with you, though."

"Perfect." Her teeth tugging at my bottom lip, she shifts her thigh between my own and gives me a knowing look. "Now, I want a bedroom workout before I have to leave for my actual workout."

"How could I ever deny you that?" I roll my eyes playfully before flipping us. "It's what keeps me alive during the day."

* * *

"Eliza?" I yell through her open front door.

"In here….doors open, beautiful." Smiling when I hear her calming voice, I close the door and lock it behind me. The familiar smell of popcorn pulling me into the kitchen, I find my girlfriend in an oversized sweater that is hanging from her gorgeous shoulder and a pair of white hot pants, barefoot. I mean, these pants are barely covering her ass right now, and I think I've died and gone to heaven.

"H-Holy shit!"

"Um…" She turns to face me. Her brow furrowed. "Good to see you, too?" She tries.

"W-Why are you wearing _that_?" Pointing at her choice of clothing, she glances down and back up and me with a look of confusion on her face. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry." She smiles. "Yoga." She shrugs.

"That ass in those shorts?" I clear my throat. "Illegal."

"Come here and kiss me before you pass out." She tilts her head a little and raises her eyebrow. "And stop checking my ass out."

"Oh, am I not allowed?" I drop my bag and my heels click on her hardwood flooring. "Pretty sure you told me I owned it last night, no?"

"Oh, you definitely do." Pulling me into a kiss, my hands weave around her body and grip her perfect ass firmly. "Mm…" She smiles against my mouth. "I love it when you do that…"

"Yeah?" I narrow my eyes. "Must remember to do it more often, huh?"

"You must." Handing me a bowl of popcorn, she grabs a few other things and motions for me to head for the living room. "Once you've set that down, I've left you some stuff to change into on our bed."

"Our bed, huh?"

"S-Sorry…I just mean, on the bed." Looking like a deer caught in headlights, I give her a knowing smile and she tries to stop the blush she has creeping up her neck. "Just…sorry. Whatever you want to call it." Deciding not to make a comment on her words, I place the bowl down and head for the staircase. _She said our bed._ My heart skipping, I can't contain the smile I have widening on my face. She's so unbelievably adorable that sometimes I don't even know what to say to her. I mean, I don't mind what she calls it, but her rambling is what I'm living for lately.

Finding almost matching clothing to what my girlfriend is wearing, I'm not entirely sure I'll pull it off like she does, but I'll give it a damn good go. Difference is, her ass is out of this world. Quickly stripping off and throwing my clothes onto the pile that is growing on her floor, I pull on the clothes she has left for me and glance over at myself in the mirror. _Okay, I pull off hot pants better than I thought I would._ Heading back downstairs, I find Eliza already on the couch, a blanket waiting for me to join her under. "Hey." I smile.

"Wow." She almost chokes on a piece of popcorn.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." I laugh and wave off her choice of descriptive word for how I'm dressed. "I'm sure you've seen way better than me dressed like this."

"Uh, wrong." She snorts. "Problem is, I now want to rip them off your body."

"Mind out of the gutter, Eliza." Taking the popcorn from her hands, I drop down in her lap and her hand comes to rest on my very naked thigh. "I missed you today." My fingertips grazing the back of her neck, I drag them through her hair and a slight moan leaves her throat. "How was work?"

"Shitty." She shrugs. "Didn't have you to stare at all day."

"Sorry." I give her a sad smile. "Had to go to the office for an update."

"That's okay." She nods. "I get you to myself for the rest of the night so it kept me going."

"I'm sure there were others for you to stare at." I tease.

"Oh, one or two." She agrees. "None of them make my heart pound of my chest at the sight of them, though."

"You are just one big ball of fluff today, aren't you?"

"Your fault." She shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth and shrugs.

"Maybe when you've finished eating…you can tell me how you came to that conclusion." Her fingertips ghosting up and down my thigh, it feels so good to be here with her. Knowing I won't be leaving until the morning just adds to my mood tonight. I feel like I'm walking around all day with some weird creepy smile on my face, but I don't care. Eliza makes me smile and I've got no plans to suppress that.

"Just how you make me feel." She sighs. "Don't forget, I've never been in love before."

"And I hate that." I give her a sad smile. "I don't know how you were even single when we met."

"Because nobody had ever caught my attention like you did." I can see the honesty in her eyes. "You are totally different to anyone I've ever dated." I love this side to her. I love how she doesn't hold anything back. She doesn't have that tough exterior within these four walls. She isn't anything but herself when she is with me. Makes me feel kinda special, I guess.

"I could stay like this with you forever." My arm wrapped around her shoulders, she pulls me closer to her and hits play on the controller. "I'm dreading you going to work on Friday…if you even have a job to go to."

"Oh, don't worry about that." She waves off my worry. "Fixed that problem."

"You did?" I furrow my brow. "When?"

"Yesterday…" She states. "Forgot to tell you because you went all dominatrix on me when I walked through the door."

"You loved it, though." I shrug.

"I did." A nod in agreement, we both laugh. "I went to see my boss yesterday. I told him you were my girlfriend and that we had met before I started working at the club. He didn't like it, but I threatened to walk and he soon changed his attitude."

"Guess that's me banned from visiting, huh?"

"No, not at all." She shakes her head. "I told him you were a client before I arrived and that you paid every time. He didn't seem to have a problem after that."

"S-So I can come by when I want to?" My grin grows wider. "I mean if I'm missing you?"

"Sure." She laughs. "Or when you can't keep your hands or your eyes off of my body."

"That is not why I come by." I defend. "I'm offended."

"Oh, please." She rolls her eyes. "I fucked you in that room last time, so you cannot tell me you weren't there for a dance. The difference is, you got so much more than you expected." Her fingers still working my sensitive thigh, her words cause my body to respond. "You love it, and I love you being there. It's hot."

"Well, maybe I'll just withhold for a little while." I shrug. "Since you think I'm there to touch you."

"Sure." She shrugs. "Let's just see how long that lasts." Shaking my head and smirking, I can't help that I find her unbelievably hot when she is dancing. I know I'm welcome to her skills in the privacy of her own home, but something about the club just adds to my arousal. I don't care what people think of that…it's what I've come to like in my new life with Eliza. She's hot, we're hot, and if I want to visit the club, I will.

"Can we take a walk tomorrow when you finish work?"

"Of course, we can." Eliza agrees. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah…just wanted a little insight into the life of Eliza Minnick." A smile from my girlfriend and I settle against her body. I want to know her inside out. I want to know everything there is to know. Maybe there isn't much to tell, but still…I want to know all I can. "Love you." I breathe out as my head rests against her own and her grip on my waist tightens.

"Love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Twenty-Six

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ELIZA'S POV

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Stepping out of the coffee shop, our drinks in hand…my fingers lace with Arizona's and she gives me a smile. It's not often that we take a walk together, and right now we are pretty close to the club. I know she worries about causing problems within my job, but I'm not. I'm not worried because nobody could take her away from me. Nobody could say anything that would lessen my love for this woman. No boss. No colleague. Nobody. If I'm seen with her, I couldn't care any less than I already do right now. She makes my heart beat out of my chest with just one look, and that look…god, it's the most adorable vision in this world. It's one of those looks that you could spend the rest of your life with. It's heart-stopping. It's cute. It's just…Arizona. She gives _me_ that look. She gives _me_ her all. How could anybody ever possibly take that away from us? How could anybody ever tell me that we can't be together?

Crossing the street, we head for the waterfront and she fixes her scarf around her neck a little better. Her gorgeous blonde curls falling around her shoulders, she's absolutely beautiful. Makes me wonder how I ever even managed to catch her eye. I know I accused her of being infatuated with what I do, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I was just angry when I told her that. I know it was a while ago, and I know that we are way past that, but I hope she knows that it was said out of anger.

"Did you want to take a walk along the front?" She asks, glancing my way.

"I don't care what we do so long as I'm here with you and holding your hand." Giving her a slight shrug, her dimples pop and my heart beats that little bit faster. It always does when I'm watching her. "A walk would be nice, though." Rounding the corner, the fresh air hits my skin and takes my breath away. I love that feeling and it's only heightened with Arizona by my side. She's so warm. Her hand is literally keeping my entire body warm right now. "You know, I never do anything like this."

"Like what?" She furrows her brow.

"This. Walking with someone. Someone I love." I state. "I can't say I've ever done it."

"Yeah, not something I do often, either." She replies. "It's nice, though."

"It is." I agree. "Did you ever do this with your ex?" I ask.

"Not really." She shrugs. "Occasionally we would take a walk, but being a publisher, she's always crazy busy."

"Is that where it became a problem?" I ask. I'm genuinely interested to know why they didn't work out. It's not like Arizona is hard to love. "If you don't mind me asking?"

"No, not at all." She smiles. "Her job was never an issue, to be honest. If I really wanted to see her, I'd simply hang in her office and write. That's the beauty of what I do. I can take my work anywhere I want. I don't have to be stuck in one room all day."

"Yeah, that must be kinda awesome."

"She was actually the one who split with me." She says, nonchalantly. "Well, it was kinda mutual, but ultimately, she is the one who left."

"Wow." I scoff. "Hard to imagine anyone doing such a thing to you."

"I'm not invincible, Eliza." Giving me a sad smile, she looks out over the river. "Things just didn't work out. I guess we didn't want the same things."

"How do you mean?"

"I always wanted us to move in together. You know, when the time was right…"

"Of course." I nod.

"She didn't." She shrugs. "It really was as simple as that. "Three years in and she still didn't want to live with me."

I'd love nothing more than to call her ex an asshole right now, but I don't think it would be appropriate. It isn't any of my business, and Arizona is way past that. "Okay." I breathe out. "Seems kinda stupid to me."

"What does?"

"The fact that she wouldn't move in with you. I don't get what the problem was. I mean, did she love you?"

"She said she did."

"Then, surely that would have been the next step to take, no?" I furrow my brow. "Isn't that what people do?"

"Well, I thought so, but she just didn't want it. She liked the idea of us having our own space. I guess that's just how some people feel, though, and I didn't hate her for it. It's why we still work together. We work together pretty well, too. At least, when she isn't breathing down my neck for my next book." _Mm, she better not be breathing down her neck. Not literally, anyway._

"I feel kinda sad about that," I admit. "Knowing that you just wanted a full commitment and she wasn't willing to give you that three years on."

"Yeah, I did at the time, too." She smiles as she stops and rests against the barrier separating us from the water. "But I believe that everything happens for a reason." Wrapping my arms around her from behind, she rests her head back on my shoulder and smiles. "And I believe that _you_ are that reason…"

"Yeah?" I ask, my smile growing wider with every nanosecond that passes. "You really believe I'm the one?"

"God, yes." She sighs. "At least, that's how I feel about us. I don't know about you."

"This is just all so new to me and sometimes I have to take a moment to stop and think about how much you have changed my life."

"I don't think I've changed it." She laughs. "In what way?"

"In every way imaginable," I admit. "Like, I can't bear to not be with you. You make me smile so much that my face hurts, Arizona. Who doesn't want to always be smiling, huh? Who doesn't want you in their life?"

"Cheryl, clearly." We both laugh and she rests her hands on my own. "But I'm glad she didn't want the commitment."

"I'm sure that's not true." Placing a kiss on the top of her head, we watch the waves slowly lap and it really is beautiful being here with her like this. "Anyone foolish enough to not want you in their life is an asshole."

"You have such a way with words." She shakes her head a little. "But I'm happy that I make you want to smile."

"Good, because I never want that to stop." I sigh. "I never want any of this to stop."

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

We've spent the entire day just being together and I feel like I know Eliza a little better. Not anything about who she is in terms of her past, but she's been so honest and open today that it's made me feel closer to her. I felt pretty close anyway, but I love being with her like this. She's totally herself and it's my favorite side of her. The cuteness and the hand holding is adorable from her, and yeah…I could do with with her forever. I'm glad that she brought up the whole Cheryl thing because it shows me that she isn't overly concerned about my ex anymore. Of course, exes always bring problems with them, but Cheryl really isn't like that. She does her work and leaves me to do my own thing. I guess I was lucky like that, really. It could have ended really badly and I probably wouldn't have released the books that I have. She gave me a chance where my writing is concerned, and thankfully, it paid off. It paid off for both of us. Fresh hot chocolate in our hands, we catch sight of a bench nearby and I motion for us to head for it. We've been strolling along for a few hours now, and I could use five minutes to just be. "Would you mind if we sit?"

"Not at all." She wraps her arm around my waist and we head for the bench. Taking a seat, she never loses her connection to me and she goes straight for my free hand. "I've had an awesome day with you." She places a kiss below my ear and I lean into her touch. "Really awesome."

"Me too." I smile. "You know, you haven't really said anything about where you are from?"

"California." She shrugs. "Mom and my sister are still there."

"You have a sister?"

"I do. A twin, actually." Her eyes focused on the people milling about around us, I sense that she doesn't really want to discuss her sister. Maybe they aren't close. I don't know. "She's three minutes older than me so she thinks she can do as she pleases."

"O...kay." I furrow my brow. "You guys have a rocky relationship then?"

"Rocky?" She raises her eyebrow. "I guess so. Strained…maybe?"

"Why is that?" I ask, hoping she isn't about to shut down on me.

"She's a dancer, too." She snorts. "And gay. Would you believe it, huh?"

"Wow." My eyes widen a little. "Weird."

"Of course, she became a dancer when I decided I wanted to, and then she came out a few weeks after I did. I'd like to believe that there is no reason behind it, but she saw the life I was living and she clearly wanted in on it."

"Yeah...seems a little odd, I guess."

"I was dating this girl. My first relationship, you could say." Sighing, she runs her fingers through her hair. "Let's just say she wanted her as well as my life."

"Oh." I give her an awkward smile. "She didn't, did she?"

"Oh, she did." Eliza laughs. "In my bed…when she knew that I was due home. We were living together at the time and she knew my class was over exactly when she took my girlfriend to bed."

"Wow, that had to hurt."

"It did." She agrees. "Like you couldn't imagine. My girlfriend claimed that she thought it was me, but I'm not convinced."

"Oh, I'm sure she knew it wasn't you." I reply. "I mean, how could she not?"

"We are identical." She glances my way. "Like, a mirror image. She has a birth mark on her lower back, but other than that…you wouldn't know who was who."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow. "That much alike, huh?"

"Yeah, crazy really." She shrugs. "Still, she should have known it wasn't me. As my girlfriend, she just should have known."

"Yeah, I get that." I nod in agreement. "You may look exactly the same, but you must have different mannerisms and personalities."

"Yeah...she's a bitch and I'm not." She shrugs. "We talk, occasionally, but I don't go out of my way to stay in touch with her. My life is so much easier without her in it."

"Shame." I give her a sad smile. "You should always stay close with your family."

"Oh, not mine." She scoffs. "They're a pain in my ass. Trust me. She even called a few weeks ago and asked about working at the club. I shut that down right away. It's bad enough that she is living the same life as me…I don't need her to be doing it in the same city."

"You wouldn't get her a job? Even if she was desperate?"

"Maddie is _always_ desperate for something, so no." She shakes her head. "I wouldn't get her a job."

"Well, this has been interesting." I laugh. "I can't believe you are a twin."

"Mmhmm…"

"Kinda crazy, really?" I state. "Since I'm also a twin."

"No freaking way!" She turns to face me. "You're lying."

"I'm actually not." I shrug. "Difference is, my twin was awesome."

"W-Was?" She furrows her brow.

"Iraq." I sigh and focus my eyes on the river. "8 years ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Arizona." She tightens her grip on my hand. "I had no idea. Now I feel like an ass."

"Don't worry about it. We can't all get along with our siblings. I was just lucky, I guess."

"Yeah." She pulls me in a little closer. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not right now, but I will." I smile. "Just…not now." She has a look of worry on her face, but I'm really not mad at her for how she has just spoken about her sister. There were times when I wanted to kill Tim, so I know exactly how she feels. There may have been times when we fought, but I'd give up everything to have him back. "Maybe one night when we are just lounging around, okay?"

"Whatever you want to do." My head resting against her shoulder, she runs her fingers through my hair and it relaxes me a little. "I'm sorry, Arizona."

"For what?" I glance up at her, my brow furrowed.

"The hurt you went through." She whispers and places a kiss on my lips. "I can't even begin to imagine going through that."

"I hope you never have to." Her thumb running across my cheek, my eyes close and I take in her energy. She's always got the most amazing energy and it's something I'm quickly becoming addicted to. "Can we head home?"

"Sure." She smiles. "Where to?"

"It's up to you." She shrugs. "I'm at the club tomorrow night so where would you like to spend the night tonight?" Ugh, I won't spend the night with her until Sunday after tonight and it's making me a little depressed already. I hate not having the entire weekend with her, but she has to work and there isn't anything I can do about it. I've told her she can always come by when she finishes her shift, but it's often heading towards sunrise before she even gets out. I really don't know how she does it.

"Maybe we could stay at your place tonight?" I suggest. "I'll be at my place all weekend anyway, so?"

"Sounds good to me." Standing, she pulls me up to my feet and my body connects with her own. Those strong arms wrapping around me, she tilts her head and gives me a slight smile. "You know, you can always hang at my place until I get home?"

"Oh, I couldn't." I shake my head. "That's your personal space and I shouldn't be there without you…"

"Why not?" She furrows her brow. "Then you can be there when I get home…"

"I'd love that, but I can just head home before you leave tomorrow." Taking her hand in my own, we head off towards the direction of Eliza's place. I'd love to be there waiting for her to return home from work but I'm not sure if she has asked me because of the discussion we had earlier regarding Cheryl. Maybe she just genuinely wants me there. I don't know. "Takeout?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth…" Throwing me a wink, she slips her hand into the back pocket of my jeans and pulls me into the side of her. "Do you have any idea how much I love snuggling with you?"

"No." I pout. "Maybe you could show me just how much you love it later…"

"I'm sure that can be arranged." She smiles. "Wouldn't want you to think I'm not all in. Snuggles included."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Always appreciated, too.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

This week has been awesome. It truly has. Spending every evening with my girlfriend has been more than I expected, and yesterday only made me fall in love with her even more. Her honesty and her insight into her past were what I'd hoped for when I suggested we take a walk and she delivered. I mean, I wouldn't have been offended if she'd chosen not to enlighten me on her background, but by being honest with me, it shows that she trusts me. It shows that she believes I'm important enough in her life to tell me a little more. Like, if we weren't going anywhere, surely she wouldn't have told me anything about herself. Surely if she didn't see us going anywhere she wouldn't have asked about my relationship with Cheryl and she wouldn't have told me about her sister. Her twin. Kinda weird, really. What are the chances that we are both twins? It makes me feel even closer to her if I'm being totally honest. Sure, we have things in common, but this? This is kinda awesome.

Settled down on her couch, I'm dreading the moment I have to leave so she can head to the club. I'd thought about heading over there and seeing her, but I don't really want to make it a usual thing for us. I prefer to see her how she is right now. I prefer to have her arms wrapped around me and holding me like I'm the only woman in the world who sees her body. I'm okay with her being at the club, but I really don't feel like seeing her that way tonight. Not after the amazing loved up week we've just spent together. It wouldn't feel right. This is how I want our week to end, and I'll have to accept that in order to do that…no visits to the club.

A huge fleece throw resting over our bodies, I turn in my seat a little and snuggle down into Eliza's side. She's warm and her skin is so soft. Honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep my eyes open if I lie here like this. Napping is our favorite thing to do together, but I can't nap right now. If I do, I won't sleep tonight and it will only make the pain of missing her from my bed even worse. It will only _make_ me go to that club. "You tired?" She asks as she places a kiss on top of my head.

"No, just relaxed." I yawn as I glance at the clock. _Ugh, she has to leave in less than two hours._ "I'll miss you tonight," I admit.

"I'll miss you, too." Wrapping her arm around my shoulder, I bring my legs up to the side of me and rest my own over her stomach. "Are we doing breakfast together tomorrow?"

"Yeah…" I sigh. "That would be nice." _I don't want to wait until tomorrow to see her._ "What time?"

"Well, you know I'm up before the sun so whatever time you want?"

"Say…nine?" I glance up at her and raise an eyebrow. "Gives you time to shower after your workout."

"Nine sounds perfect to me." She smiles. "You know, you really don't have to leave tonight…"

"I know, but I should." I counter. "I'll go home and get some work done. Less for me to do tomorrow then."

"Didn't you say the beauty of your job means that you can work wherever you like?" She smirks and I hate how she does that sometimes. I hate how she remembers every little thing I've said and uses it against me when she wants to.

"I did…" I laugh. "But I should really head home."

"Fine." She groans. "I just don't understand why you won't stay." _I want to, but this is her place. I shouldn't be here when she isn't. It's private._ "Wait…I know why!" Sitting up, my head falls from her shoulder and almost hits the couch. "You don't want to stay because I'll be coming home from the club…"

"Um…" Furrowing my brow, I don't even know what that means.

"You don't want to be here when I get home from dancing on people. You don't want to sleep in the same bed as me…"

"That's complete crap and you know it." I give her a knowing look and she simply shrugs. "You really believe that?" I ask incredulously. "You really believe that I don't want to be here because you will have been at the club?"

"Can't think of any other reason, so yeah." She scoffs. "So, are we just a Sunday to Thursday kinda thing, or?"

"What?" I sit up and throw the blanket from my body. "What the hell are you even talking about?" Pulling my hair up into a messy bun, I sit forward and stare at her. Hard. "You think that this is just a midweek thing for us? You think that after the amazing time we've just spent together…I only want you on the days you aren't at the club?"

"Why won't you stay…" She sighs. "I just don't understand."

"Because it changes things," I admit. "It changes things and it's the things I want…but I'm not sure you do."

"You've lost me." She holds up her hands.

"I want commitment. I want living together to one day be an option." I give her a sad smile. "You know how messed up that got with Cheryl, and I don't want us to end up that way. I don't think I could take that rejection. I mean, once I start staying here whilst you're not, and vice versa, it will spiral and I'll get my hopes up and then you'll say you don't want that with me. You'll say you like me being here, but you don't want us to live together. So, it's easier if I just head home and I'll see you in the morning to enjoy breakfast with you."

"I mean, I know we're not there yet in terms of living together…but you really think I wouldn't want that with you? You really think that I'd one day ask you to leave so I could have my own space?"

"Yeah, I do," I admit. "But that would be okay. I just…I prefer not to think about it just yet. You know, in case you decide that you wouldn't ever want to live together? I guess it could work without, but I don't know."

"Arizona…" She takes her hand in my own. "I'm not afraid of commitment. At least, not where you are concerned. You know I always want you here. You know I always want to be with you. Sure, it's not the time for that yet, but I'm more than happy for you to be here when I'm not. The idea of leaving the club and knowing I'm coming back here to _you?_ It would make my night so much freaking easier."

"I just don't want anything to go wrong with us." I shrug as I drop my gaze. "I'm okay with going home...it's no big deal."

"But to me it is." She curls her fingers beneath my chin. "If you are avoiding staying here because you are worried about us turning into your last relationship, then it is a big deal to me. Just…stay, please?" Her voice soft and genuine, I give her a small smile and she raises her eyebrow. "Please stay here so I can sleep with you in my arms…"

"Okay." I nod, slightly. "If you really want me to?"

"I do." She tightens her grip on my hand and brings it up to her lips. A kiss placed on my knuckles. "I would love nothing more than to come home to you tonight."

"Home…" I deadpan.

"You know what I mean." She waves off my comment. "I love having you here, I really do."

"Okay, but you'll tell me if you need a little space, won't you?" I ask.

"Space? From you…" She laughs. "You're more likely to cave before I am, trust me." I'm sure that's not true. I mean, does she have any idea how addictive she is to be around? Does she have any idea how happy she makes me? I'm guessing not. "I should probably grab a shower before I head off. I don't have much time before I need to leave."

"Sure." I smile. "Do what you've got to do."

"Promise you will hang out here and wait for me?" I can see the worry in her eyes but she wants me to be here, so I will.

"I promise." Her lips finding mine, she cups my jaw and smiles against my mouth. "I love you…" I breathe out.

"I love you, too, Arizona."

* * *

Sprawled out on my girlfriend's couch, I glance at the clock and it's almost 1 am. I've spent the past few hours writing and now I don't want to move from this position unless I absolutely have to. Eliza's place is so homely and when I first met her…this is not what I expected. I didn't expect anything of what I've experienced with her. She is nothing like the woman you see at the club. She is nothing like her profession. I mean, in the bedroom she can be really hot, but that's private and between us. That's nothing to do with her work. It's nothing to do with the fact that she is a stripper. _Whoa, what a hot fucking stripper she is, too._

Lying here tonight, I've thought about calling my mom and telling her I'm dating. I know she will be thrilled, but I don't know how she will react to what my girlfriend does. She won't be horrified, I know that much. My mom is the most laid back person I know. It will still feel a little weird telling her I'm dating a private dancer, though. It will still seem a little surreal when those words eventually fall from my lips. I just hope she can trust me in what I'm doing. Who I'm dating. She has always worried about me, and even more so since we lost Tim, but she knows I'm okay here in New York. She knows I'm thriving and I'm living my life exactly how I've always wanted to. She knows I'm not stupid.

My cell lighting up silently on the coffee table, I grab it and unlock the screen. Finding a message from my best friend, I hit view and smile.

 ** _Are you home and awake? T x_**

 ** _No, I'm at Eliza's place. You okay? Az x_**

 ** _Oh, she took the night off? T x_**

 ** _Actually, no. I'm just hanging here until she gets home from work. Az x_**

 ** _Ah, things are moving along for you guys, huh? T x_**

 ** _No. It's not like that. She just wants me to stay the night. Az x_**

Is that what's happening? Am I just staying the night, or does she feel sorry for me in terms of my past relationship? I don't want her to think that she has to ask me to stay over all of the time. I'm perfectly fine going back to my place. I like my place. It's mine. It has everything I need there. Sure, I love being here, but I wouldn't be pissed if she didn't ask me to wait around for her one Friday or Saturday night. I wouldn't be bothered. I'd simply see her the next day like I have done since we met.

Yeah, I miss her when I'm not with her, but doesn't everyone feel that way? Doesn't everyone miss their partner when they know they won't be able to see them? I'm no different. I'm just needy is all. Eliza doesn't seem to mind it, but I have to be mindful of it. I have to remember that we will, one day, need a little time to ourselves. We would only end up driving each other crazy otherwise. I know I'm thinking too much about things, but I really do want this to work out. I want her to know that I'm supportive of her choices, but that I can give her her own space when she needs it. _She's just so damn good to be around._

 ** _Sure. Whatever you want to believe. I'm happy for you, anyway. T x_**

 ** _Thanks. It really is just a one-off, though. Don't get too excited. Az x_**

 ** _It's a one-off until she asks you to say again tomorrow. T x_**

Okay, time to change the conversation completely. I don't want Teddy unintentionally filling my head with unnecessary thoughts. Not now, anyway. I'm here, I'm relaxed, and my girlfriend wants that. She wants me here when she returns from work. If she asks again tomorrow, I'll face that when it happens.

 ** _How are things with you, anyway? Az x_**

 ** _Okay, I guess. T x_**

 ** _That's good. Coffee soon? Az x_**

 ** _Sure, if you want. I wasn't sure if we were okay or not. T x_**

 ** _Why wouldn't we be okay? Az x_**

 ** _Just with everything that happened last week. So long as we are okay? T x_**

 ** _We are fine. Don't worry about it. I'll call you tomorrow. Az x_**

 ** _Okay. Miss you. T x_**

 ** _Miss you, too. Az x_**

Setting my cell down on the coffee table, I snuggle back down into my spot and take in the peacefulness of Eliza's home. Teddy has been pretty quiet this week, but I didn't want to bother her too much since she is dealing with her own stuff. Processing, if you will. We are okay, though. We always are. Sure, I didn't like the fact that she had been paying my girlfriend to dance, but once she knew we had become something, that stopped, and I appreciate that. I appreciate that she recognized it could cause problems and I appreciate her honesty about the situation.

The sound of the front door unlocking, I furrow my brow and check the time. 1:37 am. My eyes fixed on the entrance to the living room, I'm relieved when I find my girlfriend leaning against the door frame. "Hey, beautiful." Her smile lighting the entire room, I sit up on my elbow and watch her approach me.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask as she drops down to her knees beside me.

"Yeah." Her thumb running across my cheek, she tilts her head a little and sighs. "I thought you wouldn't be here when I got home."

"I don't break promises, Eliza."

"I know, but I knew how worried you were and I didn't want to push too much." Her lips finding mine, she moans into my mouth and I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face. "I'm so happy that you stayed."

"Me too." I agree. "Although, if I'm going to be hanging around here a little more often, I need some crap in your cupboards."

"I don't follow…"

"I mean, I'm all for healthy eating through the week, but I'm not about to sit here and eat a quinoa salad on a Friday night when I'm hungry."

"Right." She laughs. "Sorry."

"Don't be." I shrug. "Weekends require real food, Eliza. That's all I'm saying."

"And I will fix that for you." She smirks. "Tomorrow, we will hit the store. Get you some _real_ food in, okay?"

"Why tomorrow?" I furrow my brow.

"Because I'm working tomorrow night." She looks at me like I'm supposed to just know what she's talking about. "So, you will need snacks for a movie or whatever."

"Oh, I have plenty at my place." I shrug. "I'm good."

"Mm, figured you'd say that." Her eyes narrow and she presses her lips to my own. "Since I'm not going to see you tomorrow night then, how about I take you to bed right now and make up for that?"

"I thought you'd never ask." I roll my eyes playfully as she pulls me up to my feet. Guiding me through her home, Eliza tugs at my hand and pulls me up the staircase and towards her bedroom. Our place. _My_ favorite place.

"You know…I'm not her." She turns to face me, her hands placed on my hips beneath my shirt. "Like, I see my future with you…and it's _nothing_ like hers."

"I know." I give her a sad smile.

"So, I love you being here with me." She shrugs. "Don't ever think otherwise." Giving me a knowing look, I appreciate that she is being honest, but I still don't want to mess this up. I still don't want to let this go too far too soon. "Just...think about it, okay?"

"Think about what?" I furrow my brow.

"Staying tomorrow, too." She smiles. "I get it if it's too much, but I'd like to fall asleep with you tomorrow, too." Her lips working the skin of my neck, she pulls me through her bedroom door and kicks it shut. I don't quite know how I feel about all of this, but I'll do as she asks. I'll think about it.

 _Don't mess this up, Arizona. Just…don't mess it up._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Teddy gives me an awkward smile but I simply wave off her comment. "Arizona?" She sighs.

"Of course, it's okay for to be here." I nod. "We came here together when I met Eliza, and this time is no different. Well…" I raise my eyebrow. "So long as you haven't booked her tonight."

"N-No." She shakes her head frantically. "I'd never do that to you, Zo. Never."

"Fucking hell, Ted's. Lighten up will you...I'm joking." Rolling my eyes, I place an order with the blonde who is working the floor and we drop down into our usual seats. Another woman also on the couch, I give her a small smile and turn my attention back to my friend. "So, have you told anyone else your news yet?"

"My news?" She furrows her brow.

"That you're into the ladies?"

"Oh." She smiles. "No. Not yet."

"No rush." I nudge her shoulder. "I love you, Ted's. Just remember that."

"Right back atcha...but I'm still not sure I should be here right now." Glancing over to the far side of the stage, I find my girlfriend dancing for a pretty large group of guys and I clear my throat. I'm trying to be supportive. "You okay with that? Really?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I have to be." I give her my best fake smile but she sees right through me. "She's too good to lose."

"Really?" She asks as she shifts a little closer to me. "I can't believe you are okay with all of this. I mean, I'm happy for you, I really am…but doesn't it hurt a little?"

"No," I answer honestly. "I'm the one who sees the real Eliza. Not Adria. Not the dancer. I see her and you know what? She is amazing, Teddy. That's all that matters in all of this."

"You're a better woman than I'll ever be." She shakes her head. "That shit would not be happening if it was me."

"You'll understand when you meet someone." I give her a sad smile. "Trust me…"

"Sure." She rolls her eyes. "It just all seems a little crazy to me. You know, the stripper and the writer. It's like fucking Moulin Rouge all over again."

"Mm, maybe." I shrug. "But you know that is my all-time favorite movie, so?"

"All right, all right." She smiles. "You don't have to convince me." She gives me a knowing look. "You may want to have a word with yourself, though."

"W-Why?" I ask.

"Because I can see it in your eyes." She blocks my view of Eliza. "I can see that you are struggling right now."

"Um, I'm not." I lie. _She isn't stupid. She's known me forever. She knows when I'm struggling._

"Arizona, you don't have to lie to me…"

"I'm okay, Teddy." Straightening myself out a little, I clear my throat and stretch my neck out. "Just…leave it, yeah?"

"No." She shakes her head. "Come with me…" Pulling me up to my feet, she guides me through the crowd and takes me outside the club. "Arizona, what is it?"

"Nothing." I glance down at myself and shake my head. "Just…am I hot enough for her?"

"What?" She asks, incredulously. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Like, do we look hot together?" I sigh. "She is fucking gorgeous, and I'm just me. Do I look good enough to be with her? To be seen with her?"

"I'm not even having this conversation with you." She scoffs. "You are fucking beautiful. Gorgeous. Everything anyone could ever want. Stripper or no stripper."

"Are you sure?" I ask, genuine concern on my face. "I mean, she says she loves me and I can see it in her eyes, but what if someone hotter comes into the club? You know, like the woman who is sitting in our spot? We both know why she is there." I give her a knowing look.

"She's there to see Eliza."

"Adria," I state.

"Right, yeah." She nods. "Adria. How the hell do you keep up with the name changes?"

"I don't ever call her by her dancing name." I shake my head. "I just…god, it's hit me hard tonight and I don't know why."

"I know why." My best friend shrugs. "Because you love her, right?"

"So much." I breathe out.

"So, it's hit home now." She states. "You guys are moving forward and now you are beginning to realize what it is that she actually does. I'm not trying to put you off and I actually hope it works for you both, but you are hurting, Zo. I can see it."

"I just feel a little weird, is all."

"Same thing." She gives me a sad smile. "Did you want to leave, or?"

"No." I shake my head. "I have to be okay with this. She is my girlfriend and I support her." Fixing myself up, we head back inside and I'm happy that Teddy is here with me. She may have been a little off, to begin with, but she had her reasons for it. We've moved past that and now that thing are out in the open, we have moved forward. She is my best friend and I know that she always has just back. I know that she will always be there for me, regardless of what happens.

* * *

We've been back inside the club for a little over an hour and right now I'm not feeling good. I'm not feeling good about anything whatsoever. The woman who was sat in our spot was gone when we returned to our seats and she has just reappeared from the room that my girlfriend is in. Yes, she was looking a little hot under the collar, but doesn't everyone look like that when they leave my girlfriend after a dance? Doesn't everyone feel that desire that I felt? _God, I hope they don't._

Teddy has been watching me constantly since we returned to our seats and honestly, I think I need to leave. I think I need to go home, to my own place, and sleep this bad feeling off. I didn't mean to get all insecure and pathetic when Teddy called me out on my mood before, but it's how I feel tonight. I feel like there is no way I could ever be good enough for Eliza. I know she loves me and I know that she sees a future with me, but being here tonight has left me feeling pretty low in terms of myself and my mood. _I think it's time to leave._

Glancing towards my best friend, I knock back my seventh whiskey of the night and she gives me a sad smile. "You doing okay?"

"No." I give her a sad smile. My voice breaking. "Can we leave?"

"If you want to, yes."

"I do." I nod. "I think I have to." I breathe out. Standing, I grab my purse and glance around. Finding no signs of Eliza, my heart hurts a little, but I know she is working. "Come on, I need to go home."

"Aren't you supposed to be going back to Eliza's place?" Teddy asks, knowing exactly where this is going.

"I can't." I sigh. "I need to go back to my place. Just for tonight." Taking my hand in her own, she gives it a firm squeeze and I know that no more needs to be said. "Just remind me never to come here again, okay?"

"Sure." She smiles. "You know what is best for you guys."

"I'm not sure I do right now," I admit. "I think I need to sleep and regroup tomorrow."

"Good idea." She agrees.

Heading for the exit, I'm met with a familiar body in front of me. Giving me her best smile, I know she wants to get a little closer, but she can't. She can't because she has a job to do. A job that I'm struggling with right now. "Hey, are you ladies getting some air?" Eliza asks.

"No, I'm headed home." I give her a slight smile. "I don't feel so good right now."

"Okay, I'll be home in an hour or so." She gives me a sad smile. "Are you waiting up, or?"

"N-No, I'm just going to head back to my place." I clear my throat. "I'll see you soon, though, okay?"

"Soon?" She asks, her brow furrowed. "Is everything okay, baby?" Glancing around, her tone is low.

"Don't call me that in here." I sigh and shake my head. "I'll catch up with you soon, Adria. I just…I need to go home and sleep."

"O-Okay." She nods, worry written all over her face. She knows I hate using her stage name, so she knows something isn't right. "I'll call you when I finish."

"Sure." I nod. "Take care, okay?" Stepping around her, we make our way out of the club and the fresh air is a welcome relief. "Wow." I breathe out as the crisp air hits the skin of my face. "That was hard."

"What was?" Teddy questions.

"Leaving her there…" I sigh.

"Arizona, it's her job. It's what she does. You know this."

"I know." Snapping a little at my best friend, she gives me a knowing look and an apologetic smile creeps onto my face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She waves off my apology. "Come on, let me get you home?"

"Thanks."

* * *

Waking with a pounding headache, I squint as the sunlight hits my eyes and crawl back under my sheets. I can't bear to face this day but I know I have to. I know I have to fix myself up and try to figure out my life. I love Eliza…I love her more than anything, but last night was a bad night for me. Right now, I fear I'm always going to feel this way when she heads off to work, but I still trust her. I know she would never do anything to hurt me. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to the club last night. Maybe I should have stayed home in my own little bubble and forgot about what happens at that place.

Honestly, I think that knowing that woman was booked for a dance from my girlfriend made everything worse. I've never been there when she has had another client due. I've always caught her in time I guess. I just…I'm struggling with everything about this right now. I don't want that. I hate that I'm feeling this way. Eliza is amazing and totally right for me, but yeah…I'm struggling beyond belief right now. I'm struggling, and I don't even know what to say to her when I see her. In this moment, I'm not sure I want to see her. I don't want to have to have these kind of conversations with her, not after I've reassured her time and time again about us. It's just hard. It's hard to watch her leave. It's hard to know what she is doing when she isn't with me. It's hard to know that someone else has their hands on her. This whole fucking situation is hard.

Pulling myself from my cold and lonely bed, I think about texting her but I decide against it. She called me repeatedly last night and yeah, I ignored all of her calls. I had to. I wasn't sure what would come out of my mouth, so I had to avoid any contact with her. I didn't want to make things any worse with her, and she doesn't deserve my attitude. Not when she technically hasn't done anything wrong. Wrapping myself up in my robe, I step out of my bedroom and I'm shocked to find my girlfriend and best friend sitting in my living room. "What's going on?" I ask, my head unbelievably painful right now.

"Well, I was just keeping your girl company…so now you are awake, I'm headed out." Teddy stands and gives me a sad smile. "I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Sure." I nod. "Thanks for coming back and staying with me last night." Approaching me, my best friend pulls me into a hug and tightens her grip. "Love ya, Ted's."

"Love ya, too, Zo." Stepping away from me, she places her hand on Eliza's shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze. "Catch you soon, Eliza." My girlfriend giving her a nod, my best friend heads for the door and leaves my place. A small smile over her shoulder as she does.

"I missed you last night." Eliza breathes out. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened." I shrug as I round the kitchen island and she stands, approaching me. "Did you get home okay?"

"I did." She nods. "You avoided my calls."

"I didn't. I was sleeping, sorry." Pouring a fresh cup of coffee, she glances down at my cup and gives me a knowing look. "Sorry, did you want a cup?"

"If it's not too much trouble, yeah." Her brow furrowed, I know she is pissed at me right now, but I'm pissed at myself so? Handing her a cup, she gives me a slight smile and leans back against the counter. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing." I sigh as I lean back against the opposite end of the counter. "You worked out pretty early, huh?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I didn't bother. I came straight here when I woke."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because you are being off with me and I want to know what's going on…"

"Eliza, it's nothing. Just me and my thoughts. Don't worry about it." My eyes fixed on my coffee cup, she steps a little closer to me but I don't budge. I don't move an inch.

"It's not nothing." She sighs. "Teddy told me about what you said outside the club last night."

"Yeah, well Teddy should mind her own business." I scoff. "This doesn't concern her."

"She's your best friend so it does concern her. It concerns me, too, so stop pulling away from me and tell me what's on your mind."

"I just...I shouldn't have come to the club last night. It was a bad idea." I state. "I know you didn't ask me to come by, and it's my own problem…but I still shouldn't have been there."

"You didn't like seeing me there, right?"

"Yeah." I give her a sad smile and shrug. "Just…it was hard."

"I thought you were okay with it?"

"I am." I smile. "I just think that maybe I shouldn't come by anymore."

"Wait." She holds up her hands. "You mean the club, right? You don't mean that you are ending us, do you?"

"No." I shake my head. "The club."

"Okay." She nods. "I can work with that." She breathes out. "I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable."

"It's my own fault." I shrug. "I should never have come by. What else did I expect? I should have known you would have other clients. I should have known you would be dancing for other people." My voice breaking a little, I shake myself from thoughts and drop my gaze. "Just…you do your thing on a weekend and I'll do mine, yeah?"

"But _you_ are my thing." She furrows her brow. "I want to spend my weekends with you…"

"I know." I agree. "I'm just struggling, I guess."

"So, talk to me." Eliza gives me a sad smile. "It's what I'm here for, Arizona."

"I can't. It won't make any difference so there is no use filling your head with my thoughts. It's bad enough that they're in my own head."

"I need you to be honest with me if we are going to work through this, Arizona." She takes my hand in her own and laces our fingers together. "I don't want to lose you because we couldn't talk things out."

"There were some incredibly hot people at the club last night," I admit. "What if one of them catches your attention? What if one of them makes you feel the way I made you feel when we first met?"

"That isn't going to happen." She gives me a sad smile. "You are the only one who catches my attention and you will always be the only one."

"Things change, Eliza." I give her a knowing look. "Things change and there is nothing we can do about it. I just can't be there and seeing what goes on. If I don't see it, I don't have to think about it."

"I get that." She takes my coffee cup from my hands and sets it down on the counter. Pulling my body in closer, she brushes my hair from my face and sighs. "I'm sorry you felt like you weren't good enough." _Fucking Teddy!_ "But maybe that is my fault. Maybe I don't tell you how beautiful you are enough."

"No, this isn't your fault." I shake my head. "I just didn't feel good being there last night. I just didn't like seeing clients coming out from your room."

"Teddy is right, though." She nods. "Things are becoming more real. Of course, you don't want to see that happening at the club. Why would you? It's only natural to feel hurt knowing what goes on behind that curtain."

"You think?" I furrow my brow. "Am I not just being pathetic?"

"Why would you be pathetic for worrying about us?" She asks, her thumb running across my cheek. "It shows that you care. That you want this to work. How could that ever be pathetic?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "You don't need that, though. You are beautiful and so full of confidence. You don't need me and my insecurities lowering the mood." It's true. Why would she want someone like me around? Someone who is scared to lose her. Someone who is scared to one day be left behind. "I mean, you want someone like you, right?"

"Someone like me…"

"Confident. Hot. Not afraid of relationships and where they may lead." I smile. "Everything that I'm not."

"Where is this coming from?" She asks. "I don't understand."

"It's how I feel, Eliza. I know I'm nothing like you and I know that at any moment, someone could walk into that club and make you feel incredible. Make you want to take on the world together. I know that. I just have to hope that it doesn't happen."

"It already did happen." She admits. "It happened what…around three months ago? Some beautiful blonde was sitting in my spot. I just…I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She just radiated everything I knew I wanted. She had the most adorable smile, but her eyes told me that she was incredibly special. Her eyes told me that she could be amazing to love."

"Yeah?" A slight blush creeping onto my face, I drop my gaze. "You thought that?"

"I still do." She dips her head a little. "I still think about that moment when I met you every time I close my eyes."

"I'm so scared of one day losing you…" I admit.

"Me too." She smiles as she wraps her arms around my waist. "But we are okay. We are happy. Nobody can take that away from us. Nobody can make me feel as loved as you make me feel, Arizona. It hurts when I'm not with you. So, maybe I'm the pathetic one." She gives me a knowing smile. "Since I'm the one who's _supposedly_ the hot and confident stripper, shouldn't I be less interested in you than I am? Shouldn't I be in here acting all nonchalant about this and brushing off your worries?"

"I guess so."

"But I can't do that." She states. "I can't do it because I have those same worries as you. Sure, I don't feel it as often because you aren't around beautiful women who you are dancing for, but I still feel that same way. I still worry that one day I'm going to wake up and you won't be here. You will be in the arms of someone else. That hot and confident stripper you see?" She raises her eyebrow and I give her a nod. "She is just a front. Just like the front you see at the club. She isn't the real me. She isn't how I truly feel inside."

"No?" I furrow my brow.

"No, baby." Her lips pressing against my own, one hand slips beneath my robe and rests on my naked hip. "Really, she is just as scared about all of this as you are…but just remember that she knows how good we are, and she is never going to do anything to jeopardize that."

"I love you."

"When I tell you that I want you at my place, I mean it. When I tell you I see a future with you, I mean that too. Don't ever think that you are not good enough for me, Arizona, because that couldn't be further from the truth. I love you for who you are. I love everything that we are. I love snuggling with you and leaving my weekend job behind. Sure, it's what I love to do and I wouldn't ever want to change it, but it's not who I am. It's not how I genuinely feel. I want cuddles and walks in the park. I want just as many slow and sensual nights in the bedroom with you as I do hot and dirty. I want to sit and watch romantic comedies and get lost in my own world when I read your novels. I want all of that because of you. I want all of that because you make it feel _so good_ to be that way."

"God, I hate feeling this way."

"I don't." She shrugs. "Because it's who we are. It's human. It's real. If we didn't feel this way, I'd be worried. If we didn't feel this way, I'd wonder what the point of love was. I love you, and I don't ever want us to be any different."

"Sorry I didn't answer your calls last night." I give her a sad smile. "I didn't want to say anything I may regret, so I just avoided you."

"I know." She smiles. "But I'm here now, and you can remove those thoughts from your mind because we are okay. You are beautiful and I get to spend the day with you…"

"Play your cards right and you will get to spend the night, too," I smirk. "I missed you last night."

"Mm…" She presses her lips to my own. "I missed you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Yesterday morning was a little hard to take for me. Nobody has ever seen themselves as less than me. I mean, I'm a stripper, so it's not often that an amazingly beautiful woman worries that she isn't good enough for me. Why would they? They usually give me a look of total disgust and I never see them again. It's usually how it works. Arizona, though? She saw through the stereotype. She saw through what other people think of me and she gave me a chance. She gave me a chance and we love each other so much because of that chance. Sure, I didn't expect things to ever be perfect between us, but I also never imagined this. She's already made her insecurities known before, but how could she ever think that anyone else would catch my attention? How could she ever think that I'd leave her for someone else…and especially because she thinks she isn't good enough? It was hard to take, and I wasn't sure anything I said would mean anything to her. I wasn't sure my words were actually going in.

She was pretty quiet about it all yesterday, and I got the impression that she didn't want to discuss it any further, but we have to. We have to discuss it. If it's making her feel this way then we should discuss it. It's the sensible thing to do. I mean, if we don't, it will only happen again. I don't want her to think anything like that anymore. I don't want her to think that someone more beautiful is going to come along and take me away. I'm pretty sure there is nobody more beautiful out there than my girlfriend anyway, but she doesn't see it that way and it breaks my heart. She has this idea that a writer is nothing. She has this impression that we aren't suited to each other because she writes and I dance. I don't understand. Sure, in terms of professions, we may be the total polar opposites, but as a couple…we are perfect. Amazing. Beautiful. I've never once thought that we shouldn't be together and I've never once thought that I'm better than her, or vice versa.

"Hey, I'm leaving." Pulling me from my thoughts, I turn to face my girlfriend and she is grabbing her bag for the day. Everything she needs is in it, and I swear it's another opening to Narnia sometimes. It's never-ending. "Are you busy tonight?" She asks as I lean back against the counter.

"No." I shrug. "Figured I'd be spending it with you."

"Yeah, um…I don't know what time I'll be back." She gives me a sad smile. "I could call you when I'm home?" She suggests.

"Sure." Slipping my jacket over my shoulders, I watch her double check she has everything. "If you think you'll have time for me."

"Honestly, I don't know yet." She sighs. "I know it's going to be a long day and I haven't even left yet."

"Okay, well I'll just hang out at home." I'm not working at the coffee shop today, and I kinda hoped Arizona would be willing to work from home but she has someplace to be. Another meeting with Cheryl or something. I wasn't listening if I'm totally honest. I was too busy trying to gauge her mood when she was rushing around getting ready. "Just call me, okay?"

"Yep." Giving me a nod, we both head to her apartment door and I stop her. "What's up?" She furrows her brow.

"I'd really like to spend the evening with you if you have the time, okay?"

"Okay." _That's it? Okay…_

"Did you want me to walk you someplace?" I ask. _Come on, Arizona. Give me something. Anything._

"No, I'm only headed five minutes away." She waves off my offer. "But thank you."

"Oh okay." Locking up, we both head for the elevator and I'm feeling a little uncomfortable right now. I hate this. I hate not knowing how she is feeling. It makes me questions us. It makes me wonder if she is truly happy with me. Stepping inside the waiting elevator, there is a weird silence between us, but I don't want to push. I don't want to do this right now. Not when we don't have time to actually discuss anything. Reaching the lower level, she pulls her bag up onto her shoulder and steps out. "I'll see you soon, hopefully." Pressing a kiss below her ear, she gives me a smile and pushes the apartment block door open.

"Bye, Eliza." Throwing a wave over her shoulder, I'm frozen in my spot outside her place. I mean, I know she is busy and I know that she has a ton of stuff on right now, but I didn't even get a kiss from her. Quite frankly, I got _nothing_ from her, and I haven't done all morning. This is more than the fact that she is busy. I know it is. She's still not 100% since the club on Saturday night, and I hate it. I hate everything about this. I just want her to take my words and believe them, but she is avoiding me. I don't know if it's intentional, or it has just fallen into a part of her crazy busy schedule, but I don't like it.

* * *

Okay so Arizona is totally avoiding me. I've spoken to her once today and that was only because I called and she didn't answer. Her meeting ran over a little, or so she says, but I feel lost right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Like, do I just sit here and wait for her to call? Do I go over to her place? I don't know what to do and I hate this. I hate that this is my first real relationship because it means I'm not sure what the next step is. I've never had anyone stick around long enough for me to figure out the next step. So, yeah…I'm struggling a little right now. Pathetic, I know, but struggling nonetheless. Grabbing my cell from the coffee table, I figure there is no harm in texting her. If she doesn't want to answer me, she doesn't have to. At least she will know that I'm thinking about her.

 ** _Hey, so I miss you…_**

Yeah, and that isn't going to scare her off, right? Maybe I should have just sent the regular 'how are you', or something similar. Maybe I should have just not even text her. I mean, when she wants to see me, she will call me, surely? _What if she doesn't want to see me for days, though?_ I'm not sure I could cope with that. I'm not sure I could bear the thought of being away from her for so long.

 ** _Just got home now. So tired. Az x_**

Great. Another excuse before I've even asked if I can see her. Is she really feeling that insecure that she cannot possibly see me? Is she really that worried about things? Doesn't that mean that we should talk more? Doesn't it mean that she should want me around to reassure her?

 ** _Okay. I'll see you through the week. E x_**

Running my fingers through my hair, I throw my cell down on the couch and groan. I don't want to spend the night alone. I thought everything was okay after I reassured her on Saturday night. I mean, we spent the night together. We didn't sleep until the sun was coming up. I didn't think she would be this way two days on. Maybe something else is on her mind. Maybe it's eating away at her and she doesn't want to discuss it. _Kinda tough, though, since I'm not willing to sit here and wait it out._

Standing, I pull on my converse and grab my jacket. Taking my cell from the couch I head for the front door and take my keys from the table. Heading out into the cool evening air, I know that this could be a bad idea, but I don't care. Right now, I just want to be in her presence. Even if she doesn't want to be around me.

* * *

Reaching my girlfriend's apartment block, I hit her buzzer and wait for any signs of Arizona. She will probably know it's me, but I'm not leaving until I've seen her. I'm not leaving until we have talked about the reason she is avoiding me. It's as simple as that. "Hello?" Her tired voice making my heart ache, I clear my throat and step a little closer to the door.

"It's me," I state. "Can I come up?"

"Sure." She sighs. "Come on up." The lock of the door clicking, I push the heavy glass and step inside. The elevator ready and waiting for me, I push the third floor button and the doors close. _She sounds tired._ I know she's had a long day, but surely it's okay for me to snuggle down with her? I guess I'm about to find out. I guess I don't know anything until she opens that door and tells me to leave.

The bell signaling my arrival, I step off and release a deep breath. Her door is open so at least I know that she is willing to see me, but I don't know what kind of mood she is in. I don't know anything right now and it's really beginning to piss me off. "Arizona?" Pushing her door open a little, I find her sitting on the floor in front of the fire. "Can I come in?" I ask.

"Of course, you can." She glances up from her MacBook and gives me a small smile. "Close the door behind you."

"Everything okay?" I approach her and she looks so soft and snuggly right now.

"No, I'm fried and I have to get my last few chapters at least drafted in the next week or so."

"Why?"

"Because I just agreed to a deal to make it into a series." She shakes her head. "Now fucking stupid can one person be?"

"Um, first…that's amazing, and second…why are you not happy about it?" I drop down to my knees beside her. "Surely this is what you wanted?"

"I did." She nods. "I mean, I do."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Everything is so new and so fresh with you and I'm going to be working my ass off for the foreseeable. I'm going to be out of my mind crazy and I'll barely see you." She rushes her words out. "I wouldn't expect you to stay. I mean, I'd like you to, but I wouldn't expect it. I'd understand."

"You'd understand what? You've totally lost me…"

"I'd understand if this isn't what you signed up for. You know, like...I _know_ it isn't what you signed up for so it's okay if this is going to be too much for you. It's okay if you don't want to hang around."

"I'm proud of you." I smile as I take her hand in my own. "Incredibly proud of you."

"But…"

"But nothing." I tighten my grip and her eyes find mine. "I want to be with you whatever your future."

"But there will be book tours and being away from home and I wouldn't expect you to spend your nights alone. I wouldn't expect you to wait around for me to come home."

"Seriously?" I furrow my brow. "You really think that I wouldn't be willing to do that for you?"

"I don't know." She sighs. "I just don't want this to affect us."

"It won't." I give her a genuine smile. "It won't because I love you. You supported me when I never expected it, and I'm going to return the favor. I always would."

"It's going to be hard." She sighs. "I know nothing will happen immediately, but that time will come, Eliza."

"And when that time comes, I'll still be super proud of you and I'll still love you more than I do right now. If that is even possible."

"You think?" Her voice childlike, her eyes are breaking my heart right now.

"Oh, I _know._ " I smile. "But this doesn't explain why you have been off with me all day."

"It's been talked about for the past week or so…" She admits. "I just did it want to bring it up because I wasn't sure what the outcome would be."

"Don't worry about any of it." I pull her into my arms and she shifts her laptop from her knees. "There is nothing to worry about, okay?"

"I hope you are still saying that to me this time next year." She sighs, her voice a little broken.

"I will be," I reply. "I thought we weren't okay from Saturday night."

"No, it wasn't that. I promise." Studying her face, I'm not quite sure she being truthful and it causes me to raise my eyebrow. "It's not."

"But we are okay?" I ask.

"I think so, yeah."

"Arizona…" I breathe out. "I need to know that we are okay. If things have to change, then that is okay, but I need to know that regardless of everything going on around us… _we,_ as a couple are okay?"

"We are." She nods. "If you are okay with this, then we are. I just don't want you to think you have to stick around if it's not something you believe you can do. I'd never expect you to stay if you were unhappy."

"Unhappy?" I smile. "I've never been so happy, Arizona. That is all on you. That is totally how you make me feel."

"I know, but things change…"

" _Things_ may change, but us? We are stronger than anything that comes our way. I love you and I support you. Your work is amazing, so yeah…I'm 100% beside you on this one. I'd be a fool to not be."

"I just want us to be happy, is all." My lips finding hers, she smiles ever so slightly into our kiss and I shift a little, straddling her legs.

"We are, baby." Pulling back, I run my thumb across her bottom lip and she doesn't take her eyes off of me. "We are so unbelievably happy…and your awesome deal has only made things even better, in my opinion."

"Promise?" She whispers as my lips inch closer to her again. "Promise that you won't leave…"

"I promise." Her eyes closing as I cup her face, she leans into my touch and a single tear slips down her face. "Hey…"

"Sorry." She whimpers. "It's just been a really long day and I wasn't sure I could do this without you."

"You, my beautiful amazing girlfriend, can do anything you want. You are incredible, and I hope you know that. I hope you know how proud I am to call you my girlfriend."

"Thank you." She smiles. "Just for being you, but for being my support, too."

"Hey...if I get to read more of your hot novels…you will always have my support. Now, how about I order us some food in and then we take an early night?"

"Sounds perfect." She breathes out. "I'm glad you came by."

"Honestly…" Climbing off of my girlfriend, I pull her up to her feet. "...I wasn't sure what to expect when I got here. I thought you were having those crazy thoughts you had on Saturday again."

"No." She smiles. "Just different crazy thoughts this time."

"I can't wait to watch you do what you love." Placing a kiss below her ear, I slip my jacket off and kick my converse from my feet. "I love seeing you smile…"

"Pretty exciting." She agrees as she heads into the kitchen. "It's just going to be a lot of hard work."

"But you can do it." I encourage her. "We both know that."

"I'm happy you are the one to come on this journey with me, Eliza." Wrapping her arms around my waist, she gives me a genuine smile. "I'm not sure I could do it without you."

"Well, I ain't going anywhere." I give her a knowing look. "So, don't ever think that again, okay?"

"I love you…" She breathes out.

"Mmhmm… I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Wow, I can't believe how stupid I've been where Eliza is concerned. I mean, I know this next year or so is going to be crazy busy, but I was avoiding having that conversation with her. I don't know why. I don't know why I thought she wouldn't be on board with it. I guess it's just my own worries getting the better of me. I guess I just got scared of the possibility that she wouldn't stick around and see this through with me. I should have known better, though. I should have known that she wouldn't leave me for becoming successful. I mean, this is all her doing anyway. She is the one who has made me feel this way and has given me the inspiration I was lacking in writing a new novel. She is the reason I've just signed a new deal, and I should be thankful for that. I shouldn't be indirectly pushing her away because I'm scared. I should embrace this, right? Whatever happens, happens. I have to remember that. I have to remember that she is with me every step of the way, and anything we may face will never beat us. I'm pretty certain that this woman is the love of my life, so no…nothing will beat us.

Glancing at the clock, it's a little after 9 am, and right now I'm running late. Well, I'm not…but I am. _Yeah, that makes no sense whatsoever._ I should be at the coffee shop with my Mac open and ready to work, but instead I'm only just leaving my place. It's a five-minute walk, but I should still be there by now. _I have to stop daydreaming about my girlfriend._ I really do. It's going to become a problem soon, otherwise. Double checking I have everything I need, I step out into the hallway and lock up my apartment for the day. I'm not sure where I'm headed tonight, but I have stuff at Eliza's should we decide to head back there. I like being at her place. It's more spacious. More homely. Don't get me wrong, my place is awesome, but I'm beginning to feel like I belong in Eliza's home the more time I spend there. Stepping into the elevator, I check my cell for the first time this morning and smile when I read the words on the screen.

 ** _Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look when you are sleeping? E x_**

Feeling a slight blush creep up my neck, I lock my cell and slip it into the side of my bag. She is so adorable when she sends me messages like that and I'm beginning to get a little too used to them. I mean, she can send them anytime she likes, but I'm starting to crave them whenever I'm not with her. I'm starting to crave her presence every second I don't spend with her. The bell pulling me from my thoughts, I fix my heavy bag up onto my shoulder and step out. It's a little cooler than I expected today, but just a few minutes and I'll be warm internally and externally. My girlfriend usually has coffee waiting for me when I arrive at the coffee shop, so I don't expect today to be any different. So long as that coffee comes with one of her gorgeous smiles, I'll be set for the day ahead.

Taking a right, my place of work for the day comes into view and I sigh in relief. I used to hate coming here when my mind was blank, but I'm finding that happening less and less since I met Eliza. I mean, if she can't drum a little inspiration into me…there is no hope for anyone else. She is the very definition of beauty and compassion. Just watching her for five minutes could quite easily give me an entire novel to write. That's just how she makes me feel. She makes me feel alive and like I can do anything I set my mind to. She is supportive and hearing that she is proud of me only makes me love her even more. I mean…how did I ever find her? Seriously?

Pushing the heavy glass door open, I catch sight of her behind the counter and she glances my way. Giving me one of her adorable smiles, I throw her a wink and head for my usual spot. Finding a reserved sign sitting comfortably on top of the wood, I smile and take a seat. Within ten seconds of my ass hitting my seat, I find a body standing in front of me. "Hey…" I smile.

"I missed you this morning." She sighs as she sets a large cappuccino down in front of me. "I wanted to come back after my workout but I didn't have time."

"That's okay." I shrug. "I had my arms wrapped around you all night so I'm good for now."

"You got a busy day ahead?" She asks.

"Just the usual." I open the lid of my Mac and power up the machine. "Got a lot done last night before you came by…"

"I'm only working until midday." She states. "Did, um…did you want to spend the afternoon together or are you too busy?"

"I'm never too busy for you. At least, not yet, anyway."

"Are you sure?" She raises her eyebrow. "I don't want to pull you away from whatever it is you're doing. I can just see you tonight."

"Nope." I shake my head as I glance up at her. "The afternoon with you sounds good. Anything planned?"

"Not really…" She glances back over her shoulder and finds the queue of customers growing by the second. "Sorry, I have to get back."

"No problem." I wave her away. "Just give me a shout when you are heading out of here."

"Okay." She smiles. "If you get into a groove, though, we don't have to do the afternoon, okay?"

"Better make sure I don't get into a groove then, huh?" Narrowing my eyes, she chews on the inside of her mouth and gives me a slight smirk. "Now, the customers are waiting to see my beautiful girlfriend's face…"

"Right, yeah." She nods. "Customers. Got it!" Watching her walk away, my eyes are fixed firmly on her gorgeous ass and I don't care who sees me checking her out. She belongs to me. I can check her out all day long if I wish to. I'm not worried.

* * *

We've been walking around Central Park for a little over an hour now, and it feels nice to be outside in the crisp air. This was always my place to come and think when we lost Tim, but being here with Eliza is beginning to erase that sadness I always felt walking around here alone. I mean, I miss him terribly, but Eliza is pretty good at taking my mind off of it. It's not that I don't want to remember him, no…I just hate feeling the pain that it brings with it. He was my rock. My world. When he was killed in action, I wasn't sure I'd ever survive it. I wasn't sure I could face each day when I climbed into bed at night and cried myself to sleep. I made it through, though…and I'm pretty sure my brother would be proud of me for that.

"You okay?" Eliza pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry." I give her a smile. "I was just thinking."

"Anything you want to talk about?" She asks as she tightens her grip on my hand and leans in a little closer.

"Not really." I shrug. "I was just thinking about my brother."

"Tell me about him." She raises an eyebrow. "I didn't want to ask…"

"Sure." I nod. "What did you want to know?"

"Anything." She breathes out. "Like, where you guys close?"

"Oh yeah." I laugh. "Ridiculously close."

"That's nice." She smiles. "I think if I had a brother we would be close. I don't know why."

"Because they aren't bitchy like sisters." I smile. "They're protective."

"I guess you're right." Eliza agrees. "Who is older?"

"Him…and he never let me forget it. I think it's a twin thing, you know?" Rolling my eyes, she gives me a nod in agreement and slips her hand into my back pocket. "He just…he wouldn't take any crap from anyone. If someone had a problem with me, Tim was always there to have my back."

"I can't imagine anyone would ever have a problem with you, Arizona."

"Oh, you'd be surprised. Although, I'm pretty sure Tim used to create those problems so he could be protective." I laugh. "I didn't mind, though. It just made me love him even more. I always imagined it would be an absolute nightmare growing up with a brother but I was completely wrong. It was the best childhood ever, and I know that he was always there for me. I know he still is now."

"Yeah?" Eliza smiles. "That's adorable…and I'm sure he is still looking out for you now, too."

"I mean, he has to be, right?" I raise an eyebrow. "Because I know I didn't find you all by myself. I'm not that lucky."

"Oh, I don't know." My girlfriend shrugs. "You seem pretty certain that you know what you want and exactly how to get it."

"Maybe."

"You have good and bad days, don't you?" She asks.

"I do." I give her a sad smile. "I'm sorry if you have to experience them. I try not to let it affect my life, or my mood…but sometimes that is easier said than done. Sometimes it happens when I don't even realize."

"Don't ever worry about that. So long as I know what you need…it's no problem."

"I just need you, Eliza," I admit. "So long as I have you and I'm not thinking too hard about him, I'll be okay."

"You know you can always talk to me, though, if he is on your mind. I'll never not want you to talk it out with me, okay?"

"I appreciate that." I smile. "But sometimes it's easier to not think about it. Sometimes its easier to pretend like it never happened and that he is just in another place far away from here. Somewhere much better than here."

"Yeah, I get that." She sighs. "I lost my father in an accident when I was nine. Drunk driver."

"I'm so sorry, Eliza."

"Me too." She breathes out. "Most days are good, but some aren't…so I totally get where you are coming from in terms of trying to block it out. It's why I work out so hard. Helps me to deal with the anger. If I didn't use it as a way to deal, I'd have gone crazy by now and I'm not sure what my life would have become. It was touch and go at one point…but I managed to get my life back on track." _I think maybe that is a discussion for another day._ I don't want our walk to get too heavy, and honestly, Eliza talks about it like it is irrelevant…which tells me that she doesn't want to talk about _that_ particular chapter right now.

"Sensible." I smile. "Do you miss him?"

"More and more every day." She nods. "Like when I met you…He would have been so happy for me. You know, finally settling down and having someone who I love in my life."

"Yeah, Tim would have been the same." I smile, my voice breaking a little. Suddenly, I don't feel so alone in life when I think of my brother. Knowing that Eliza has experienced a horrific loss means that we have another thing in common. I know everyone has experienced loss at some time, but it makes me feel even closer to her than I already am. It makes me feel a little less like the world is against me. "I guess we just have to support each other, huh?"

"You know I always have support for you, Arizona." Stopping me, she cups my face with her hands and gives me a smile. "You are the most important thing in my life, and I hope you know that."

"I do." I breathe out. "I don't know how I ever got by without you anymore."

"I feel like that sometimes." Running her thumb across my bottom lip, she replaces it with her lips and smiles into our kiss. "I also never want to get by without you, okay?"

"Me neither." I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into my body. "You have truly changed my life, and I never want the old me back."

"The old you?" She furrows her brow.

"Yeah…just, how I was before I met you." I shrug. "I mean, I know I've been a little insecure the past few weeks, but before I met you…it was so much worse. You have made me feel like my true self for the first time ever. I no longer care what people think of me, or how people see me. I don't care if they have an opinion about me or how I look. You just…you've made me feel more at ease both around you _and_ around myself."

"Wow." She raises her eyebrows. "I had no idea you felt that way."

"I don't. Not anymore."

"But still…you are so beautiful, Arizona, and you should never let anyone else bring you down. Nobody else matters in your life if they aren't there to support and love you. Nobody else's opinions matter. They're not you. They don't know who you are or what you are about. You shouldn't ever let anyone else influence who you are. You are you, and I love you."

"I love you, too." I smile. "All of you."

"I know you do." She places another kiss on my lips before pulling back. "I don't always feel so great about myself, either, but I've been around an industry that requires confidence above everything else so I don't let it eat away at me so much. Just remember that you are perfect."

"Oh, I doubt that." I laugh. "We can't both be perfect and I'm pretty sure you take that one."

"Sure we can." She shrugs as we stroll along. "I think we're perfect, so who is there to say that we aren't?"

"True." Resting my head against her shoulder, she wraps her arm around my waist and tightens her grip. "My place or yours tonight?" I ask.

"Ours." She sighs.

"Excuse me?" I lift my head and furrow my brow.

"Both places will now be known as ours." She shrugs. "If that is okay with you?"

"A little confusing don't you think?"

"Not really." She shakes her head. "Tonight we will crash at _my_ ours. Tomorrow… _your_ ours."

"Okay, that makes no sense whatsoever."

"Does to me." She counters. "So, what do you say?"

"I say crashing at _your_ ours sounds perfect." Placing a kiss below her ear, we fall into a comfortable silence and head off through Central Park. It's been a pleasant day, and I think the both of us getting some stuff off of our minds can only strengthen what we have. I mean, I love what we have going on right now, but this is just that little bit extra that we both needed. A little more closeness never did anybody any harm, right?

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-One

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

"O-Oh." My back arching from the floor, Arizona straddles my hips and grinds her center down against my own. "Fuck, you feel so good against me." My words causing her hips to buck, she smiles and leans down, placing soft kisses along my jawline. Completely naked on my living room floor, this evening has been perfect. Not only did we share a beautiful dinner together and catch a movie, I'm now being taken in front of the fireplace. Kinda romantic, but all kinds of hot, too. "God, you make me crazy." Flipping our bodies, Arizona wraps her legs around my waist and I settle between them. The cool flooring causing her breath to catch in her throat, I cut off her gasp when my lips attach to her mouth.

This woman beneath me makes me feel incredible every minute of the day and right now…it's time for me to return the favor. "Eliza…" She pulls back for a little air. "God, you're soaked." My tongue trailing down her neck, I simply hum in response to her observation and she throws her head back, her back arching as I swirl my tongue around her navel. "Mm, yes." She moans, my fingertips ghosting over the back of her thigh. "S-So good."

"Yeah?" I mumble against her skin, my tongue never losing it's connection to her body. "You feeling good?"

"Amazing…" She breathes out, her fingers tangling in my hair and pushing me further down her body. I know exactly what she wants, and yeah…I'm totally going to give it to her. This gorgeous blonde can have whatever she wants from me. Including my very last breath. Her legs dropping either side of my body, I spread her thighs a little wider and bite down on my bottom lip when I'm met with her soaked, glistening sex.

"Sweet Jesus." My words barely above a whisper, her hips arch a little and I know that she needs me right now. "God, you are so incredibly beautiful." Dipping my head a little lower, I take a swift firm lick up the length of her center and the moan she releases is like nothing I've ever heard before. Absolutely nothing. "Delicious." Moaning as I lick my lips, I brace myself on my elbows and glance up at my girlfriend whose stomach is contracting in anticipation. Taking another firm lick, she gasps and tugs at her own nipple. _Okay, that's hot._ Her hand releasing its grip on my hair, she presses two fingers against her throbbing clit in a desperate attempt to gain a little more. "You need more, huh?"

"Please, Eliza." Her breath catching as I dip a single digit inside her entrance, she forces her ass down into the floor. "Just a little…" My finger slipping further inside, I hit her favorite spot and she bites down on her own bottom lip, her fingers tweaking her nipple harder than before. "Y-Yes." Giving me a nod, I slip out and add a second finger, causing her eyes to close. "Oh god."

Sucking her clit into my mouth, her hand rests on her thigh and my free hand comes up to meet it. Lacing our fingers together, her walls tighten around me and her legs begin to shake as I massage that spot deep inside of her. Curling my fingers a little more, she grinds against my hand and right now, I'm not sure she's ever been this wet. I know and love exactly how her body responds to me, but it still amazes me every single time I have her like this. The way she writhes for me. The way she is desperate for my touch. God, I love this woman so much, and I'll never tire of hearing her moan my name as she comes undone. _Never._

"M-More…" Her words swirling around the air between us, I smile against her center and slip a third finger deep inside of her. "Oh, yes. J-Just like that." Gripping the pillow beside her, her knuckles turn white. "Fuck, don't stop, Eliza. Oh god."

"Never, beautiful." My thrusts strengthening, her body begins to convulse and her thighs clamp around my head. "Ride it out, Arizona."

"F-Fuck." My movements continuing, a fresh flood of arousal releases from her gorgeous body and the sound of sex fills my living room. "Eliza, oh god." Gripping my wrist, she stills my thrusts but I wiggle my fingers deep inside of her. "Fuck!" Her body jolting upright, I smirk against her dripping sex and she gasps around the open space. "S-Shit."

"Mm, that was hot." I groan as I slip my fingers out of her and lap up the juices smeared on her thigh. "So hot."

"Wow…" Her hand placed against her chest, she tries to control her breathing but her body is completely defying her right now. "T-That was…"

"Beautiful?" I ask as she pulls me up to my knees and I rest in front of her.

"Mm, beautiful." She gives me an adorable smile. "Just like you." Climbing into my lap, she wraps her arms around my neck and studies my face. "You know, I love being here with you…at _your_ ours."

"Good." My arms wrapped around her waist, I run my hands up her gorgeous naked back and she pushes me down against the floor.

"Sometimes I never want to leave…".Disappearing between my legs, a smile settles on my face and my body responds as the tip of her tongue works wonders against my skin.

"Funny, huh…since I never want you to leave, either."

* * *

"Oh god." She drops down onto her back and pulls the fleece throw tighter around her. "N-No more." She pants as her chest rises and falls rapidly.

"Mm, I was waiting for you to say the words." I drop down beside her. "Didn't wanna be the one who gave in."

"God, I'm done." Her hand resting on her forehead, she steadies her breathing and gives me a gorgeous smile. "So done."

"Well, five orgasms will do that to you." I laugh as I prop myself up on my elbow and stare her down. "Didn't hear you complaining when you were screaming my name."

"Oh, I'm not complaining." She counters. "I just…I think I died during the last one."

"Death by orgasm, huh?" I raise an eyebrow. "Did you want to be remembered for that, or?"

"Why not?" She shrugs. "My girlfriend is remarkably hot, so?" Pulling me in by the back of my neck, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and smiles. "So very hot."

"Crazy." I roll my eyes. "Mine just so happens to be, too." Resting my head against her chest, I release a deep sigh and my fingertips toy with her soft skin. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not…" She replies. "I'm here for the night."

"Right, yeah." I give her a slight nod. I want to bring up the idea of living together, but I'm not sure Arizona would go for it. I know how much she worries about how her relationship ended with Cheryl, but I want it all with her. I want that. The moving in. Her stuff all around my place. I want her here with me every minute of the day, or at least, when possible. I don't want to have to ask her where we are staying each night. "Do, um…do you think that maybe you would want to stay here for the rest of the week?"

"Yeah, until Friday, right?" She asks. "You are working Friday, aren't you?"

"Y-Yeah." I clear my throat. "You don't have to leave, though."

"I know." She agrees. "Figured I'd spend the evening with Teddy since you are working."

"Oh, yeah." I wave off her comment. "It would be good for you guys to hang out."

"Yeah, I feel like I've been depriving her of my best friend duties lately." _Oh…I hadn't thought of it that way._ "We used to be together all the time. She could probably use me right now."

"Of course." I nod. "Yeah." Sitting up, I grab my tee from the floor and slip it over my shoulders. Gathering around my waist, I fix it over my body a little better and pull my hair up into a messy bun. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Water would be good." She smiles as she sits up on her elbows and watches me stand. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have the most amazing ass?"

"Thanks." Giving her a small smile, I pull on a pair of yoga pants and make my way into the kitchen. "I, uh…I'm sorry if you and Teddy haven't spent much time together." I feel awful knowing that her friend may be dealing with stuff alone while she is rolling around the floor with me. "If you need to go and see her, that's okay."

"What?" She furrows her brow. "No, that's not what I meant. It's not what I was trying to say."

"Arizona…" I give her a sad smile. "I get it, okay? We have spent every waking hour together since we met. You have a life. You have friends."

"No." She shakes her head and stands. The blanket wrapped around her naked body. "I just meant that I'd catch up with her whilst you are working, is all."

"I appreciate that, but don't ever think that you have to be here with me. I'm a big girl. I can spend the night alone." Pulling two bottles of water from the refrigerator, I move back into the living room and hand Arizona one. "You know I love having you here, and there were things I wanted to talk to you about, but we can slow it down some."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" She asks.

"It's not important right now." I shrug. "Just…tell me what it is that you want, okay?"

"You know what I want." She smiles and takes my hand in her own. "You are what I want."

"I know that." I give her a nod in agreement. "But what's next for us? I mean, do we stay like this, or?"

"Like what?"

"This." I motion between us. "Having separate places? I know this was initially about Teddy, but it's just another excuse from you or a reason for you not to be here when I ask you to be here when I return from work."

"That's not true." She sighs. "I just figured I'd spend the evening with Teddy since I wouldn't see you."

"Okay…" I shrug, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. I want her here with me more than anything, but she just isn't going to go for it. Not yet, anyway. Maybe it's too soon. Maybe there is a timescale for this kind of thing. I don't know. I don't know because I've never done it before.

"Eliza…" She steps closer to me. "It's not an excuse."

"I know, you just said that." I give her a small smile. "Just forget I said anything, okay?"

"Kinda hard to do that when you have just told me you wanted to discuss something, but okay." Running her fingers through her hair, she drops her gaze and toys with the bottle of water in her hand. "Can we not do this right now?"

"Do what?"

"This. The discussion. We've had an amazing evening and I don't want anything to ruin it." She smiles. "Can we just go to bed and forget it even happened?"

"I guess so." Moving a little closer to her, I lift her chin and her eyes find mine. "I'm sorry, I just don't know how you feel."

"I love you, and that is all that matters." She's right, but sometimes I like to gauge her opinion on our future. You know, what she wants…expects, even. "Come on, let's sleep."

* * *

Waking to bright sunlight, I squint and try to desperately hold off a headache I can feel that is approaching. I didn't sleep so well last night, and even though my girlfriend is laying beside me right now, I'm a little worried. Worried that this is going too fast. Worried that I'm going to push her away if I tell her what I want, what I see. I mean, I've never felt this way about anyone in my entire life, but I'm struggling to contain my emotions where Arizona is concerned. I know she has a lot going on right now, but the fact of the matter still remains…that I want her here with me every day. Every night. I want us to live together. I know it's probably not a big deal, but to me it is. To me it makes us so much more than we are right now. To me it says that we are moving forward and our relationship is doing well. Maybe it is just too soon. Maybe it is just a case of stepping back a little. You know, give her a little space. Maybe spend the evening alone occasionally. It can't do any harm, right?

Again, though…I don't even know how to approach that subject. She could be waiting for me to suggest it, but on the flip side, she may take it the wrong way and this all falls apart around us. Nobody ever told me that being in a relationship was so hard, but yeah…it is. Not hard in terms of putting all of my effort in, but this uncertainty. The not knowing what is coming next. I hate it. I'm generally an honest and open person, but Arizona makes me nervous. All of this makes me nervous. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I feel like I'm constantly trying to do the right thing. Say the right thing. Be the ideal girlfriend. I'm sure she would hit the roof if she knew how I was feeling, but she doesn't need to know. She doesn't need to be in my thoughts with me. Not when it's my problem.

My alarm finally blaring out around the room, I silence it and climb from my bed. I'd like to say our bed, but I really don't imagine that will happen anytime soon. Placing a kiss on my girlfriend's head, her scent is enough to calm me for the time being. "Don't go…" She mumbles.

"I have to." I smile as she opens her beautiful blue eyes. "I'll see you at the coffee shop later, though?"

"Mm…" She nods. "I should leave, too."

"No." I shake my head and fix the cover over her body a little better. "Stay and take another hour. The spare key is in the drawer by the door, okay?"

"I have a busy day." She yawns as she stretches out her body. "I'll get ready. You go on ahead."

"Maybe I'll catch you before I leave for work?" I raise an eyebrow as she sits up on the bed. "I'll only be an hour or so working out."

"I'll head back to my place." She climbs from the bed. "Can I grab a shower here first?"

"Of course, you can." I furrow my brow. "Help yourself to whatever you need."

"Thanks." Pulling a robe over her body, she heads out of the bedroom with me and descends the staircase. "Can I get you some coffee before you leave?"

"No, I don't drink it before I work out, but thanks." I smile. "I'll sit with you for a couple of minutes, though, if that's on offer?"

"I'd love you to sit with me for five." Pulling me into her body, she places a soft kiss on my lips and studies my face. "Are we okay? I feel like something is wrong…"

"No. We're fine," I reassure her. "Just got some stuff on my mind."

"Wanna talk about it?" She asks.

"Nothing for you to worry about." I wave off her question. "I'll see you at work, okay? I'll have your coffee waiting for you…"

"Do I get my usual smile with that coffee, or?"

"Oh, definitely." She pulls me into another kiss and I know that I'm worrying about nothing. So she needs to spend a little more time with her friend, and she may not be ready to take the next step yet. Does that really matter when I have her in my arms right now? No. No way.

 _One step at a time, Eliza. One step at a time…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Thirty-Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Settled in my seat at the coffee shop, I watch my girlfriend working and it makes me smile. She loves being here. I know she loves her weekend job just as much, but this is when she is her true self. This is when she is Eliza Minnick and nobody else. Not Adria, just Eliza. The woman I fell in love with. The woman I wake beside each morning. She's kind of adorable when she is just being herself. No front. No different personality. Just her. This will always be my favourite kind of Eliza, and she knows it. She knows I love the whole barista thing she has going on, and honestly…it's just as hot as any other job she may hold down. It really is.

I may have been coming here for a couple of years now, but I'm finding it harder each day to imagine Eliza not being here. She has consumed my world so much, my every thought, that I can't remember how I felt before her arrival in New York. I cannot remember how miserable I was or how uninspired I felt because all I see is her beautiful face each day and it erases every last thought I ever had about living my life alone. It's how I thought this would all plan out. Me. Alone. A cat. Maybe ten. Who knows. I just didn't think it would turn out like this. I didn't think I would be happy in my personal life, and in my professional life. I didn't think that any woman in this world could come on in and swoop me off of my feet…but she did. Eliza.

Watching her moving around behind the counter, she glances my way and gives me a small smile. She tries to remain professional in work, and I understand that. Work isn't a place for flaunting all that you have. She is here to do her job, and sometimes I wonder if it would be best for me to change my venue. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too distracting. _Never in a million years did I imagine myself to be a distraction for anyone else._ She makes me feel that way, though. She makes me feel confident in my abilities both as a writer and as a woman. I don't know how she does it, but I'm thankful for everyday that she makes me feel that way.

Catching her attention, I wave her over and she offers me a refill. Giving her a nod, I figure it's a way to get her over here without her getting into trouble with the boss. The staff here are encouraged to talk with the customers, but Eliza and I talk way too often for it not to be obvious. "Hey." I smile as she approaches me, my glasses removed from my eyes.

"Did you leave my place okay this morning?" She asks as she glances around.

"I did." I nod. "Posted the spare key back through."

"You should have just kept a hold of it." She states.

"No, I'm terrible at losing things." I wave off her suggestion. "I was thinking of cooking tonight…"

"Nice." She smiles.

"What do you prefer?"

"Oh, I'm not around tonight." She drops her gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." Furrowing my brow, I study her face. "Going someplace?"

"One of the girls at the club asked me to cover her shift tonight. She's helped me out in the past and I felt bad saying no."

"That's nice of you." I smile. "Will it be a late one?"

"Midnight or there about." She shrugs. "I'll just head straight home after it, though. I'm back here at nine tomorrow and I'll be done for. Weeknights at the club are weirdly busy."

"Sure." I fix my eyes on the screen in front of me. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure she has been avoiding me today. "Will you be available for dinner before you leave?"

"Sorry, I won't." She shakes her head a little. "Weeknight shifts start earlier than weekends. I'll have to be at the club by six."

"No problem." I smile. "Maybe tomorrow? The ingredients will keep."

"Yeah, tomorrow would be nice." She agrees. "I'm sure you can keep yourself busy tonight."

"Yeah, I'll get some more writing done. Grab an early night. I have to meet at the office tomorrow so an early night will do me the world of good."

"I should get back." She throws her thumb over her shoulder. "Call me over if you need anything else, okay?"

"Sure will." I throw her a wink as she turns to walk away. "Eliza…"

"Mm?" She turns back to face me.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Feeling the loss of her presence immediately, I slump back in my seat a little and I'm suddenly not feeling the motivation right now. I was hoping to cook dinner for my girlfriend tonight, but that's now no longer a part of our plans. It sucks, but she is helping out a friend so I can't complain. She's that kind of person, so I shouldn't expect anything less from her. Caring. Thoughtful. She literally would do anything for anyone. I know she would.

Glancing over at her, she looks a little lost in her thoughts but last night was a busy night so I'm not surprised. My body is feeling it, too. It was amazing, but sometimes we really should control ourselves. It only ends in pain otherwise. A good pain, but pain, nonetheless.

* * *

Standing outside the club, I probably should have told my girlfriend that I was coming by tonight. I mean, she appreciates the surprise when I show up unexpectedly, but I still always feel like she should be aware. I know the last time I was here I freaked out a little, but Eliza reassured me and I've been okay since. In fact, I've thought about her dancing for me more than once since then. Awful, I know, but it's hot. She is hot. Everything about what she does arouses me beyond belief.

Stepping inside, I make my way towards the busty blonde that always seems to be here and step up to the counter. "Hey, um…is Adria available tonight?"

"Adria works weekends, Honey."

"No, I heard she is working tonight." I furrow my brow. "Can you check."

"I know exactly who is and isn't here, sweetheart." She gives me a sad smile. "Adria isn't working tonight. Come back Friday and I'll be sure to add an offer to your account."

"Sure, thanks." I clear my throat. "Was she ever supposed to be working tonight?"

"No, sweetie." Narrowing her eyes, she studies my face. "You're the girlfriend, right?"

"Um, no." I lie. I don't know if I'm allowed to be known as her girlfriend here, so lying is the only thing I know how to do right now. I hate denying her, but I have no other choice right now. I know her boss knows about me, but that doesn't mean the rest of the staff do. I really don't want to cause any problems for her. "I'll come back Friday." Stepping away, my heart feels a little heavy and I'm not sure what to make of this. Why would she lie to me? Why would she tell me she was working if she's not? I'd planned dinner with her, and she told me she couldn't make it. _I don't understand where I've gone wrong._

Heading off down the street, I take my cell from my pocket and pull up my message tab. I don't even know what to say to her right now. Do I ask about work and see if she admits to lying, or do I call her out on it right now?

 ** _Busy tonight? Az x_**

Figuring that's the best way to go about it, I quicken my pace and head for home. That message leaves her open to being honest with me, but I'm not sure she is going to give me the truth right now. She's lied to me for a reason, and whilst she doesn't know that she has been caught out, she may continue the theme she seems to have going on right now.

 ** _Yeah, crazy busy. E x_**

Okay, so that doesn't really give me a definite answer but now I want to know where she is and what she is doing. I've never felt the need to test the trust I have for her, and she has never given me a reason to suggest that I should begin now, but something feels off. Something isn't right. She is avoiding me like she has done all day, and now she is lying about her whereabouts. I don't appreciate being lied to. I _hate_ being lied to.

 ** _Where are you? Az x_**

 ** _Working. E x_**

I know that is a lie right away. Not only have I caught her out, but she never texts me back so quickly when she is working. Especially if she is crazy busy like she claims to be. I don't like this at all.

 ** _That's a lie. I've just been to the club. Az x_**

 ** _Oh…_**

Yeah, oh. Shaking my head in disappointment, I send off one final message and decide to head straight home. I've wanted to see her all night, but right now…I don't. I don't because I don't like the idea of being lied to. I don't like the idea that she has told me something that is completely false and she has continued that until she knew she had been caught out.

 ** _I'm going home. See you around. Az_**

 ** _I'm at home. E x_**

 ** _Good for you. Have a nice night. Az_**

My cell buzzing in my hand, I glance down and find my girlfriend's name on the screen. She's calling me so she clearly wants to explain. I'm not sure I'm interested right now. "Hello?"

"Arizona, hi."

"What's up?" I ask, my voice void of any emotion.

"I'm sorry I lied." She sighs.

"Yeah, me too," I admit. "I'm headed home so I'll catch you whenever."

"Please don't be mad." She begs. The sound of another woman's voice in the background causing me to furrow my brow, I listen intently. "Can I come and see you."

"No. Don't bother." I laugh. "Sounds like you are busy with whoever you have at your place."

"Come here then." She suggests.

"I'd rather not if it's all the same." Ending the call, I round the corner and head down the street. I've never felt so deflated and hurt as I do right now. I don't know what the hell is going on right now, but I don't like it. I don't know who she has at her place, and I don't know why she has lied to me all day, but she has…she has and it's killing me inside. Slowly and surely.

Crossing the street, I have to pass by my girlfriend's place to get home. Her home illuminated, my pace slows when I watch her door open and another woman step out. Pulling Eliza into a hug, my heart sinks into my chest and I stop dead in the street. Releasing a deep breath, I watch the other woman walk away and Eliza glances my way. Staring me down, she waves me over but I pick up my pace and continue on down the street. "Arizona!" Calling me back, I close my eyes and quicken my pace. "Arizona! Come back."

"No!" I turn and give her a sad smile. "I don't think I'm needed here right now."

"Please, just come inside." Her eyes begging me for my attention, I step a little closer to her and she gives me a thankful smile. "It's not what it looks like, I promise."

"You lied to me, Eliza."

"I know, but please...just let me explain? Before you walk away, let me explain."

"Go on…" I raise an eyebrow. "Explain…"

"Not here…" She sighs. "I don't want to do this in the street."

"I don't want to do it at all, so?"

"Please, just come inside?" She takes my hand in her own and tugs me back towards the steps that lead to her home. "You can leave whenever you want to, but just please come inside?"

"Okay…" I sigh, as I tug my hand from her grip.

"Thank you." Taking the steps slowly, I make my way inside her home and she closes the door behind us. "First of all, that wasn't what it looks like."

"Looked like something to me."

"She's my friend. I promise." She gives me a knowing look and I drop my gaze. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, Arizona. You are the love of my life."

"You don't lie to the people you love, Eliza."

"I just…I was giving you space." She sighs as she shoves her hands in her back pockets. "Last night you said some stuff and it made me think. You know, about how much time we spend together."

"So, you're saying that you've had enough of me?" I scoff.

"No." She holds up her hand. "That isn't what I'm saying at all. I just worry that I'm taking this too far too quickly."

"How can you take anything too far?" I ask, my tone changing when I see the worry in her eyes. "Everything that has happened so far…I've wanted. How can you not know that?"

"There are just things I want to discuss but every time I think about bringing it up with you…it never seems like the right time, or you will make a comment about it and then it all turns to shit. I just…I'm sorry, and I didn't mean to lie to you. I wanted to spend this evening with you more than anything, but I was trying to do the right thing."

"I cannot abide a liar, Eliza. I just…I can't." I shake my head. "When you lie, it makes me wonder what else you aren't being truthful about."

"I understand that." She gives me a sad smile as she heads into the living room and I follow behind her. "Can we at least talk?" She asks.

"Why are you now ready to talk but you haven't once done it before?" I furrow my brow. "Is it because you've been caught out?" The words falling from my mouth before I even have time to process what I'm saying, I regret them immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"You did." She smiles. "But I deserve it."

"What is it that you have on your mind, Eliza? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know but this affects our relationship." She sighs as she takes a seat on her couch. "I'm not sure I'm prepared for your answer."

"But you won't ever know my answer if you don't talk to me about it…"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She nods. "I just…I wanted to know where we are headed. Like, what are our plan?"

"I don't follow…"

"Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it." She holds up her hands. "Whatever you decide, it's okay. I wouldn't hold it against you." She takes a breath. "I want you to move in with me." Her words rushed out, she is holding her breath and I can't help the smile that appears on my face. "What?" She drops her gaze.

"Y-You want me to live with you? Like, us…together?"

"Yeah, and I know it's too soon and I know I sound pathetic, but I really want you to, Arizona. I mean, I get it if you don't want to, but even just knowing that one day you will want to would be good enough for me."

"Yes…"

"Like, you probably won't even enjoy living with me, but you are always here, and I always want you here and honestly, I hate it when you leave."

"I said yes, Eliza."

"Y-You what?" She furrows her brow. "Why would you want to?"

"Because I love you." I give her a dimpled smile and she pulls me into her arms. "And I'd love nothing more than to wake up beside you every morning."

"You aren't just playing right now?"

"No." I shake my head. "I'd love to."

"God." Running her fingers through her hair, a little color returns to her face. "I thought you were going to say no." She admits. _Why would I say no?_ I mean, I know I've avoided being here when she isn't, but that was just my own choice. I only miss her more when I'm at her place and she isn't around. It's easier to be at my place concentrating on work. "I thought you would have shot me down straight away."

"You should have just talked to me…" My hand squeezing her own, she drops her gaze and gives me a sad smile. "Even if I'd have said no, it wouldn't have been forever."

"Do you think we're moving too fast?" She asks. "Do you think we are going to burn out?"

"Does this all feel right to you?"

"Yeah…" She smiles. "So right."

"Then what is there to worry about?" I raise an eyebrow. "We know what we want, and we know that this feels good…so does anything else really matter?"

"I guess not, no." A slight sigh of relief leaving the lips, she glances up at me and her eyes tell me she wants this more than anything. "I just…I haven't done this before. I wasn't sure what was an appropriate length of time before we moved in."

"I don't think there is one." I shrug. "I guess it's just when the time feels right."

"Yeah." She nods. "That sounds like the right idea." _It certainly does._ "We can do this, right?"

"You wouldn't have asked me if you thought we couldn't." I smile. "And I wouldn't have said yes if I was unsure."

"I'm so sorry I lied to you…" Her voice breaking, I pull her a little closer to me and she relaxes into my body. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Arizona."

"Just…don't do that again, okay?" Running my fingers through her hair, I place a kiss on her head and she sighs against my chest. "I love you, but I cannot be lied to."

"I know." She sniffles. "I'm so happy that you agreed."

"Me too." She pulls back and studies my face.

"You just never seemed like you wanted to." She narrows her eyes. "What was that all about?"

"I just hated being here without you." I give her a sad smile. "I love this place, but I love it because _you_ are in it more than anything."

"God I feel awful." She drops her gaze. "I just want us to be happy, Arizona, and having you here makes me so unbelievably happy. Having you in my life makes me feel incredible."

"I'm looking forward to doing this with you…" Running my thumb across her bottom lip, she gives me a genuine smile and her eyes are literally sparkling right now. Every emotion is pouring from them, and I could never tire of seeing that. I could never of anything where this woman is concerned. "And you make me unbelievably happy, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated. Have a great weekend.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Okay, so that didn't go how I expected it to go. I didn't expect Arizona to agree to move in with me, but she did. She did, and it feels kind of amazing. Weird, but amazing, nonetheless. I've never lived with a significant other. I've never even thought about asking that question to anyone else before Arizona. I guess that just shows how much I think of my girlfriend. How much I love her. I guess it just shows that we are both ready to take things further, and that's always going to be something beautiful, right? It's always going to be perfect and right. _Everything always feels that way with Arizona, though._ I mean, I've known since the first night that we spent together that I would want her around me all the time, but I didn't expect it all to feel this intense. I didn't expect to fall in love with her as soon as I did, or as hard as I did, but it happened. It happened, and everything is how it should be. Everything just feels right. I can't explain it really. I struggle to find the words to describe how she makes me feel, but she feels it, too. She knows how much love I have for her. She knows I don't ever want anyone else to take her place. She knows that above all else, she is my priority. My life.

Finishing my coffee, I have the day off work today. Even though we have both agreed that it's time to move in together, we haven't discussed when my girlfriend will bring all of her stuff over. I'm not concerned. I guess we just haven't really had time to discuss it. She is working super hard on finishing her novel, and I don't want to interrupt that flow she has going on. I don't want to slow her down. I know how she sometimes struggles to keep the pace going, so whilst she is on a roll, I'll leave her to do her thing. "Plans for the day?" I ask as I set down my coffee cup and watch my girlfriend force the remains of her pancake stack into her mouth.

"Have to head to the office and then I'll be home for dinner before you head to the club." _Ugh, the club._ I really don't want to work tonight. "You headed in at your usual time?" She raises her eyebrow before finishing off what's left in her coffee cup.

"Yeah." I sigh. "But you'll stay here, right?"

"I will be here when you get home, Eliza. Don't worry." Approaching me, she turns me on the kitchen stool and stands between my legs. "I promise, I will be here."

"Good." Placing a kiss on her lips, she smiles against my mouth. "Why don't you invite Teddy over?"

"Maybe I will." She shrugs. "I'll see how today goes. I have a feeling it's going to be a long one."

"Okay. Whatever you want to do." I nod. "Did you need me to pick anything up for dinner since I have the day off?"

"Nope. I went to the store last night before I came home." _Home…I love it when she uses that word._ "What?" She asks, sensing that I'm thinking too hard.

"Nothing." I wave her off.

"No, something is on your mind." She furrows her brow. "Talk to me."

"I just…you said _home._ " I smile. "I like hearing you say it."

"Then I will say it more often." Another kiss on my lips, my body relaxes completely. "I should go."

"I know," I whine. "Don't want you to go." Pulling her in a little closer, I pout and she gives me an adorable dimpled smile.

"Okay, so…how about when I finish at the office I come back here and work from home for the rest of the day?"

"You'd do that?" My smile widens. "You hate working from home."

"But home now includes _you_ and I suspect it's about to become my _favorite_ thing to do." Studying my face, she raises her eyebrow. "I'm going to need a few things, though."

"Anything…" I breathe out. "Name it and I'll get you it."

"Donuts." She states. "I need donuts if I'm going to be working from home."

"Donuts." I deadpan. "Of all of the things in the world that you could ever possibly want or need…you choose donuts?"

"Yep. If I'm working from home, I need my comforts. I need my sugar rush. Oh, and if you could swing by my old apartment, bring me my coffee. Some sweats, too."

"Anything else, your highness?"

"Nope." She shakes her head. "Everything else is already here." Her arms wrapping around my waist, she places soft kisses along my jawline and now I really don't want her to leave. "So long as you will be here when I get back, anyway?"

"I will." My fingers running through her hair, I place a kiss on her nose. "I'll always be here waiting for you."

"Then I should _really_ get going." She sighs. "I'll only be a few hours. Just…keep yourself busy and I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll hold you to that." Releasing me from her grip, she squeezes my thigh and steps away from me. Grabbing her bag and her cell, she heads for the door and pulls it open. "I love you." Turning back to face me, she gives me a dimpled smile and steps out onto the street.

"I love you, too." Watching the door close, I sigh and rest my elbows on the kitchen counter. What the hell am I supposed to do with my time now? Usually, I'd be working whilst she is working, but today has totally turned out to be a disaster. I mean, I'm happy that she is getting stuff going at the office with her publisher, but now I'm bored. _Maybe I'll bake?_ No, you won't bake. I don't bake. Never have. Never will. _Maybe I'll just shop instead._ It is what I'm good at after all.

* * *

So, the fire is lit. Blankets are prepared on the couch. A box of donuts is sitting on the kitchen counter. I just need my girlfriend now. I just need Arizona to walk through the door and everything will be perfect. She texted me a little while ago to tell me that she would soon be home, and now I'm growing impatient. I know she is busy, and I know she's had the meeting from hell, but I want her here with me already. I want her home, and warm, and safe. Ain't nothing wrong with that, right? I've thought about getting my shift covered tonight, but I'd already suggested that Arizona invite Teddy over, and she has. She wasn't sure she would this morning, but I guess she could use a glass of wine and some bitching with her best friend. I could hear it in her voice when she called me at lunch. _She sounded tired._

Tapping my fingers against the kitchen counter, I glance around and double check that my girlfriend has everything she needs. It's a little before two in the afternoon so I have a good few hours with her before I have to prepare myself to leave for the evening. I have enough time to sit and watch her work. _I love watching her bite down on her lip as she concentrates._ It's adorable and hot. Weird, I know, but yeah…it's totally hot. Especially when I know what her writing often contains. Especially when I know that her mind is working in overdrive to put some very hot and very sexy words into a sentence. _God, she's incredibly hot._

Pulled from my thoughts when a very flustered Arizona walks through our door, my smile widens and she kicks the door closed with her foot. "Ugh!" Dropping down her bag, she kicks off her shoes and moves into the kitchen. "Kill me now." Her head resting against my chest, she sighs and I wrap my arms around her. "I'm not sure I have the energy or the concentration for this book deal."

"You've got this, beautiful." Placing a kiss on top of her head, she pulls back and gives me a look of worry. "You do."

"I know I can do this, but right now…it doesn't feel that way." Pulling her towards the couch, I sit her down and she gives me a sad smile. "I'm okay. It's just been a long morning."

"I know you're okay." I agree. "But I'm still allowed to reassure you. I'm still allowed to stop you from not believing in yourself."

"Thanks…" She runs her fingers through her hair. "It's just going to be a lot of hard work, is all."

"And you are the most hardworking person I know, Arizona. Don't ever think that you haven't got this. You totally have. You are going to be awesome, okay?"

"Okay." She settles back against the couch and releases a deep sigh. "I've got this." She repeats to herself. "I know I have."

"Correct." I nod. "Now, can I get you some coffee before you do whatever it is you've got to do?"

"Coffee would be awesome." She gives me a thankful smile and watches me stand as I head for the kitchen. Her eyes landing on the box of donuts, her smile widens. "You got them?"

"Told you I would." Shrugging, I power up the coffee machine and turn my back on her.

"Amazing." She replies. "Want one? I mean, I know you don't usually eat this stuff…but they're so good."

"Maybe later, okay?"

"Sure." She smiles. "I'll save you one. The best one." Heading back to the couch, I watch her get comfortable and I'm beginning to wonder if she's even going to get any work done today. I mean, she knows what's best for herself and her work so I'm not going to interfere, but yeah…I don't think much in the way of work will be happening today. Placing two cups of coffee down on the table in front of her, I drop down beside my girlfriend and study her face. Frosting on her cheek, I smile and shake my head. "What?" She looks my way.

"Nothing." I hold up my hands. "You're beautiful, is all."

"Thanks." Her dimples popping, she folds her legs underneath her body and shifts a little closer to me. "This feels good."

"Which?"

"Coming home to you." She sighs as her head comes to rest on my shoulder. "Especially when you have donuts."

"Yeah, figured the donuts had a part to play in it." Rolling my eyes playfully, she raises her eyebrow and gives me the sweetest look I've ever witnessed. "You can have all the donuts you want if it makes you happy."

"It does." She shrugs. "Are you sure I can't tempt you to try one?"

"Maybe just a tiny bite of yours?" I suggest. "I don't usually eat anything too heavy before my shift. Never leaves me feeling too good."

"Okay." Straddling my legs, she gives me a small smile and waves the donut in front of my face. "Just a little piece."

"Sure." Narrowing my eyes, she looks a little mischievous right now.

"You know what's better than donuts?" She asks, her head tilted ever so slightly.

"What?"

" _You_ covered in a donut." The sugary treat being smeared all over my face, I gasp and grip my girlfriend's wrist. "Don't fight it, Eliza. I'll always win." A deep laugh erupting from her throat, she forces her body against me a little harder than before and traps me against our couch. "So much better." She smiles.

"I swear I'm going to kill you." My eyes opening, all I can smell is raspberry jam. Licking my lips, it is pretty good. That doesn't mean I want to be wearing it, though. "No matter how good that tastes, you are not getting away with this."

"Is that so?" She asks. A dirty grin on her face. "What exactly are you going to do?" Gripping her wrists, I shift my body a little and throw her down onto the couch. Now straddling her own legs, she stares up at me and those blue eyes almost make me melt. "Eliza…" She swallows hard.

"Yes, beautiful?"

"W-What are you going to do to me?" That low husky tone sending my body crazy, I have to control myself. I have to tease her like I planned to, and then end it. _It will be worth it in the end._ She knows exactly how this is going to go, but she also knows what it does to me when she begs. "Eliza?"

Silencing her when my lips connect with her own, she moans into my mouth and I have to squeeze my thighs together. If I don't, this will all unravel and I can't allow it to. I have to stick to my end goal. I have to play this a lot longer. _Tonight._ Tonight, when I return home, she will have the time of her life. "Quiet, Arizona."

"But-"

"I said quiet." Pulling back, her eyes are painfully dark and I know that she is begging me for something. Anything. "Now, you are going to get yourself set up here…and work."

"W-What?" She asks, incredulously. "Why?"

"Because you have come home for the day to work." I smile. "What kind of girlfriend would I be if I stopped you from working hard?"

"The amazing kind." She replies. "Don't you dare climb off of me."

"I have to." Giving her a sad smile, I grind my hips down against hers and she groans. "I need to go and clean up this mess and you need to work." Running my thumb across her bottom lip, she closes her eyes and gives me a slight smile. She thinks I'm going to give her what she wants right now but she couldn't be further from the truth.

"Don't." Her hands gripping my thighs, she stops me from moving off of her. "Don't go…"

"Work, Arizona." Giving her a knowing look, she pouts like a teenager and it only makes me laugh. "That pout won't work with me."

"Fine." Releasing me from her grip, she shrugs and I climb off of her. "I'll just take care of myself."

"You do that." I nod. I know she won't. She knows better than to challenge me like that. She knows that this will only turn out so much worse for her if she even thinks about touching herself. "Enjoy."

"Oh, come on." She whines. "That's it? Really?"

"I don't think I'm needed here any longer." I shrug. "You know since you're going to take care of yourself." Studying my face, she knows that I'm not backing down. _Tonight is going to be so much fun._ This will be forgotten about by the time I get home from work. She may even be in bed and sleeping. Seems I'll just have to wake up my beautiful lady, huh? And by wake up, I mean _really_ wake up.

 _Sleep is overrated anyway, right?_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Ugh, I'm dying right now. Eliza left for work a little over an hour ago, and I swear she is killing me. I know she was teasing earlier, but it really wasn't necessary. Cruel is what it was. Completely cruel. I've been thinking about her since the second she climbed off of me, and I'm beginning to wish I'd never joked around with that freaking donut now. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have been in any sort of compromising position, and I wouldn't now be feeling like I hadn't had sex in a year. I'd be fine. I'd be happy. I'd be relaxed. Right now, I'm _anything_ but relaxed and my best friend is due here any minute. I'd thought about doing exactly what I'd told Eliza I would do, but she would know. If she knew I was taking matters into my own hands, she would know the second it happened. Like, she could sense it or something. She would know, and that would only make this so much worse. _Ugh, I hate this._ Unlocking the screen of my cell, I pull up my messages and send my girlfriend a quick text.

 ** _I hope you're happy with the condition you have left me in. No sex for you FOR A WEEK! Az x_**

Locking the device, I throw it down on the couch and pace the floor. Teddy will know something is wrong but what the hell am I supposed to say to her? What the hell am I supposed to do about this? God, it's freaking killing me. I mean, I could just drop by the club and make her want me, but that would be playing right into her hands. I'm not about to do that. It's time to make _her_ want _me…_ All night.

A smirk settling on my face, a knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts and it startles me a little. Clearing my throat, I pull myself together and head for the door. Opening it, I find Teddy standing out on the street. "Hey, come on in."

"Why have you invited me here?" She asks, her brow furrowed. "Why aren't we at your place?"

"I'll explain when you get your ass inside." Tugging at her arm, I pull her over the threshold and close the door behind me. "Wine?"

"God, yes. I've had the day from hell." She groans.

"Me too." Following behind me, I can see her checking our place out, but I'm not concerned. I'm pretty sure she is in shock now that she has seen where Eliza lives. "Good week?"

"Okay, I guess." Shrugging, she pulls herself up onto a kitchen stool. "Nice place."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Giving her a smile, she nods and I hand her a glass of wine. "Mine now, too."

"What?" She laughs. "You moved in with her?"

"I did." Taking a seat opposite my best friend, she studies my face. "Still got to move my stuff in, but yeah…I live here now."

"Wow." Her eyes widen. "It's not too soon?"

"Doesn't feel too soon…" I sip on my wine and narrow my eyes. "You could at least look a little happy for me."

"I am, I just didn't expect you to tell me you'd moved in with her."

"No time like the present, right?"

"I guess not." Releasing a deep breath, she puffs out her cheeks and taps her fingers against the marble counter. "Just hope you know what you are doing."

"Im well aware of what I'm doing, Teddy. I thought we had been through this?"

"We have…but we will keep going through it until I'm satisfied that you are truly happy." She gives me a knowing look and I roll my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Arizona. You're my friend and it's my job to look out for you."

"Okay, so what's the worst that could happen?" I ask. "What's so bad about me moving in here?"

"Nothing…yet." She mumbles as she takes her wine glass between her lips. "But what happens if you two break up and you have no place to go?"

"We aren't going to break up." I laugh. "And if that's the only reason for me not to move in with Eliza, you really need to try harder to convince me."

"I'm not trying to convince you." She states. "I just don't want you to be the one who gets hurt. Couldn't you guys have moved into your place?"

"My place is a hovel compared to this, Teddy. Why would she want to move from a beautiful house to an apartment?"

"If she loved you, she wouldn't care where you lived."

"She asked me, Teddy. I'm sure if it had been the other way round, she would have agreed."

"You're sure about that?" She raises her eyebrow.

"You know what? I am. I am sure about it. Whilst you only see the fact that I could one day get hurt, I choose to focus on the here and now. The happiness. The love we have for each other."

"Well, okay then." She shrugs. "I guess there is no more for me to say."

"Exactly." I sigh. "So, if you could stop worrying about my love life...maybe we could concentrate on your own."

"My own?" She wrinkles her nose. "I don't have a live life."

"That's because you are too busy interfering with mine." Pulling her down from the stool, I motion for her to join me in the living room. "Come on, let's talk."

"About what?" She drops down onto the couch.

"Anything." I smile. "Have you checked out the scene lately?"

"What scene?"

"The ladies, Teddy. Have you checked out the ladies, lately?" _God, she is so not on the same page sometimes._ She gives me a blank look and I swear she is infuriating sometimes. "Ted's, come on…give me something."

"No, I haven't checked anyone out." She sighs. "I've been too busy."

"Okay, so that has to change." I shake my head, a little disappointed in my best friend. "You _always_ hit the town."

"Yeah, just not feeling it right now." She shrugs. "I don't really know where to begin."

"O...kay." I nod. "Just begin where you would normally begin."

"But it's women. Women are _nightmares_."

"Not if you pick the right one." I throw her a wink. "You just have to get out there and see what is on offer."

"Easy for you to say." She scoffs. "You've been doing this since forever. Me? I'm a baby in this game."

"Not for long, Ted's." Taking her hand in my own, she gives me a sad smile. "You'll find your feet. Just…make a little time for yourself. Date. Have fun. Even stop by the club. Anything that doesn't involve you working yourself into the ground and missing out on a little fun."

"Is it really that easy?" She asks, a little worry in her voice. "Is it really that easy to just put myself out there?"

"Of course, it is." I smile. "You are gorgeous, Teddy. Any woman would be lucky to have you in their life."

"Ya think?" She drops her gaze. "You really think I could have what you have?"

"For sure." I knock back the remainder of my glass and offer her a refill. Gaining a nod, I top up our glasses and my cell buzzes beside me. "One minute…"

 ** _A week? That sucks since I had plans for us tonight. E x_**

 ** _Shame, huh? You should have thought about that before you left me here soaked. Az x_**

 ** _Oh, I had no idea. I'm sorry. E x_**

 ** _Lies. It's all lies. Az x_**

Smiling to myself, Teddy clears her throat and I glance up at her. "Sorry, it's just Eliza."

"You really love her, don't you?" She asks, a smile growing on her face. "You really truly love her…"

"I do, Teddy." Giving my best friend a smile, I sigh. "I love her so much."

"I know. It's kind of adorable." She shrugs. "Maybe I will get myself out there. Maybe someone is out there waiting for me to pick them up in a bar."

"No maybe about it, Ted's." Dropping my cell to the side of me, I pull her into a hug and she wraps her arms around my waist.

"I'm happy for you, Arizona. I really am."

"Thank you."

* * *

Teddy has just left our place and I'm now climbing into bed at almost 2 am. I'd thought about waiting up for Eliza, but we drank a little more wine than expected, and bed is probably the best place for me right now. I'm not drunk, just happy. I guess I'm happy all of the time lately, though, so maybe I am drunk. Teddy and I talked a little more as the night went on, and I think she is finally beginning to see just how happy my girlfriend makes me. I mean, it's irrelevant how she feels anyway since it's my relationship and I'm the one who matters, but it still feels good to know that she may be getting on board with it all. She just needs someone to put her energy into. You know, date or whatever. Teddy has never been shy when it comes to dating but her little outburst a few weeks back makes things a whole lot different for her. I'm not entirely sure she quite knows how to feel about it all just yet, but she will get there. She will meet someone when the time is right, and nothing else will matter. No one else will matter.

Snuggling down into Eliza's pillow, a small smile settles on my face and I inhale her scent. _Amazing._ My eyes closing, my body relaxes completely, and I'm beginning to think that this may not be so bad after all. I hate sleeping without her, but she will be home soon so I just have to remember that. If I get to have her five nights a week to myself, I can cope with the loss of her for two. It's just how it is, and honestly, I don't think I'd ever change her. She is who I fell in love with, and I love everything about her. Her hot weekend job included.

Settling on my back, I fix my eyes on the ceiling above me and I hear a key turning in the lock of the front door. Eliza texted me a little while ago to say that she was finishing up at the club, and she's pretty much right on time. She knows I'm a little on edge from her antics before she left, and honestly, I plan on holding out. If I don't stick to my word...she will always think that she can get away with it. Sure, I may have started it with the whole donut saga, but I never expected her to leave me in the mess I found myself in. I never expected her to withhold from me. _But she did…and now she has to pay for that._

Turning on my side, my back to the door, a slight smirk settles on my face when I hear her creeping up the staircase. She is totally going to come in here and expect something from me, but it isn't happening. I told her she was on a ban, and that is exactly what is going to happen. The bedroom door opening slowly, I can hear her soft breathing but I don't turn around. I don't flinch. _Sleep, Arizona._ Remaining as still as possible, I can hear her stripping off her clothes and my heart rate increases a little. _Don't give in, Robbins._ I have to hold out. I have to make her pay for what she did to me earlier.

The bed dipping beside me, my girlfriend shifts a little closer to me and her front connects with my back. An arm wrapping around my waist, she pulls me against her and places a kiss below my ear. "Hey, beautiful." A smile against my skin and I simply mumble, feigning the fact that I'm actually awake. "Wake up…I missed you." _Okay, she can't say that._ Not when I'm trying to act nonchalant. "Baby?"

"Mm?"

"I thought about you all night." Her breath washing over my ear, I bite down on my bottom lip and squeeze my thighs together. I haven't come down from my high all night, and she is only making it worse right now. "Can I get a kiss?"

"Eliza, I'm sleeping," I whine.

"No, you _were_ …but now you're not." Her fingertips trailing up my naked thigh, goosebumps follow the path of her delicate touch and my body shivers. "I hoped you'd come to the club."

"Why?" I ask, clearing my throat.

"Because I wanted you in my room with me." Her hand grazing my stomach, it inches a little closer to my chest and I can't help the smile that curls on my lips. "I wanted to touch you. Feel you against me."

"Eliza…" I breathe out.

"Make you feel good." Her tongue running up the shell of my ear, she presses her body against my own and suddenly I find my body is being flipped, and I'm now face down on the bed. "Don't you want that, Arizona?" Her tone painfully low, I'm soaked right now. I'm soaked, and she is about to take me however she sees fit. I'd like to believe that I can stop this, but yeah…that isn't happening. "Don't you want me inside you?"

"Oh, god." My face pressed against the pillow, her fingers trail up my spine and my hips slowly grind down against the mattress. "Eliza, we should be sleeping."

"Really?" She smirks as she runs her tongue along my shoulder. "I guess I should just give up, huh?" One hand dipping between my legs, she moans when her fingers are met with my arousal. "But something tells me you don't want me to stop. Something tells me you've wanted me to fuck you all night."

"Fuck." My hands fisting in the sheets either side of me, my ass lifts from the bed and Eliza immediately takes advantage of that. Lifting me up onto my knees, her nails dig into my ass before a short sharp smack connects with my skin. _Jesus Christ, it's going to be that kind of night…_

"You know, I thought about you whilst I was dancing." Her teeth sinking into my ass, she runs the flat of her tongue over the bite mark and I hiss in relief. "Then to come home and find you naked in our bed…God." She groans. "It makes me soaked thinking about you."

"Yeah?" I smirk against the crisp white sheet my face is now firmly planted against. "How wet are you, Eliza?"

"Dripping." She whispers as her lips press against the skin below my ear. "I'm always dripping for you…"

Her hand dipping between my thighs from behind, my body automatically responds by spreading my legs a little wider. My breath catching in my throat as she suddenly pushes two fingers deep inside of me, my knuckles turn white as my hand is gripping the sheet tight. "Ugh, I love how good you fuck me."

"Don't ever forget it…" She states, a little cold with her words. "Next time I want you to come to the club…you come, got it?"

"You gonna make me?" I scoff.

"If that's what it takes, yeah." She laughs. "You belong to me, Arizona. If I want to fuck you at the club, I will."

"Someone thinks they can have exactly what they want, huh?" Her fingers pushing deeper, she completely pulls out before slamming back into me with a third finger. "Shit." My body jolting forward, she presses her center against my ass and adds a little strength behind her thrusts.

"I _can_ have exactly what I want. I thought you knew this by now." _Oh, she is totally right. She can have whatever she wants from me._ "Don't ever think that I won't get it, either."

"Mm…" It's all I can give her right now. She is fucking me so good, but she isn't quite giving me enough. She isn't quite pushing me to the edge like she knows I want it. She knows exactly how to work me up. It usually results in one hell of an orgasm, though, so I'm not worried. "Fuck me harder, Eliza." Bracing myself on my knees, she stills her movements and I hold my breath.

"What I'm giving you isn't good enough?" She spits. The bed dipping beside me, she leans down and breathes against my ear. "Since when did it become okay for you to demand to me?"

"Please…" I beg.

"Begging, huh?" She laughs. "Pathetic." Moving away from me, her hand slips underneath my stomach and towards exactly where she knows I want it. "You really want me to let you come?"

"Y-Yes…" I breathe out. _Please, no more teasing._ I've been thinking about her all fucking night and now I'm done with waiting. I just want her. I need her. Something, anything. "Eliza…"

"Beg…" She states. "Fucking beg for it, Arizona." Her words causing a fresh flood of arousal, her fingers are still buried deep inside of me, and every so often, she is wiggling them. She knows what she is doing and honestly…it's killing me right now.

"Maybe I'll just fix this problem myself." I smile. "Since you seem to be incapable of fucking me how I want you to."

"Oh, is that so?" I glance over my shoulder and she raises her eyebrow. "You could never live without me fucking you like I do. You know that."

"Sometimes I wonder." I groan as she slowly moves her fingers inside of me. Curling them, she hits that sweet spot and my eyes roll in my head. "Oh god."

"See…just the slightest movement and I have you trembling." She smiles as she picks up her pace. "You need me, Arizona…admit it!"

"I do." I pant as she thrusts harder and deeper with every movement.

"Say the words." She demands.

"I need you," I admit. "Only you make me feel this good."

"And next time I'm at the club?" She asks.

"I'll come." I moan as her free hand works my clit. "I-I'll, oh fuck…I'll come."

"Damn fucking right you will." Her fingers working my body in the most intense yet amazing way, she slams into me repeatedly and my stomach tightens. I need this. I'll always need this. I love the soft and sensual side of Eliza, but I love this side of her so much more. "Now, come, Arizona."

Her demands tipping me over the edge, my eyes slam shut and my knees almost buckle. "I-I…" My words cut off when my orgasm crashes through my entire body, she doesn't let up. "Fuck. Oh, god. E-Eliza."

"Ride it out." She spits. "Come hard."

"Shit." My breath nonexistent, she twists her hand a little and my world turns black. Never in my entire life have I ever felt how I feel about this woman who is making me feel absolutely incredible. Never in my life will I ever feel or experience this with anyone else. It's not possible. She was made for me. Everything about her was supposed to catch my attention and thank god it did. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. "Fuckkk…" My body falling flat on the bed beneath me, my walls force her fingers out of me and she drops down beside of me.

"Wow." She smirks as my eyes open and I'm seeing her fully for the first time all evening. "That was so worth the teasing earlier."

"Fuck you," I mumble.

"Now, now." She raises her eyebrow. "Is that any way to speak to the woman you love? The woman who has just rocked your world?"

"Mm…it is when she is fucking me like there is no tomorrow." I smile, my face still stuck to the bed. "God, how do you do it?" I pant.

"You make me feel that way." She shrugs. "I missed you tonight." Giving me a sad smile, she presses her lips against my own and my body relaxes in the position I'm in. I have no energy to move. I couldn't possibly even if I tried. Flat on my stomach is good enough for me right now.

"I missed you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

My body is aching. A good ache, but aching nonetheless. Arizona is splayed out on her stomach, and I swear to God she gets hotter every day. The crisp white sheet barely covering her gorgeous ass, I can't help but watch her instead of starting my day. Last night got all kinds of hot and dirty, and I'm not sure I have the strength to workout today. I'm really not. I guess I could take the day off, but I don't want to slip into a pattern of lessening my routine. I mean, it's no big deal, but I'll only be disappointed with myself later when I'm sharing some unhealthy food with my girlfriend. _Fuck it! I'm not getting out of bed._ If I stay here, I have an extra two hours before I have to even begin the day. If I stay here, I can watch my girlfriend for that little bit longer. She will probably wake soon anyway, but that doesn't mean I can't be here when she does. That doesn't mean I can't give her my best smile when those beautiful blue eyes open for the first time today.

Turning on my back, I glance up at the empty space above me and fix my eyes on the ceiling. I don't feel much different to how I did before Arizona agreed to move in with me, but it's nice knowing that I will wake beside her every morning. It's nice knowing that when she calls to say she is finished for the day, she will be coming home to me. To us. To dinner and a movie. A relaxing bath and some comfortable clothes. It's just nice to know that I'm the one she sees her future with. I thought about it, you know…I thought about the reasons why her ex didn't want to move in with her, and honestly…I'm stumped. I have nothing. I don't understand why anyone would want to live separately from this gorgeous woman beside me, but I guess we can't all be perfect. I guess we can't all realize what an amazing woman we have in our life's. Maybe Cheryl realized that when it was too late, but I'm not concerned. She's here with me. Lying beside me and softly breathing before she wakes to begin her day. I couldn't ask for more than that. Sure, communication may have gotten a little tangled at one point and my nerves may have gotten the better of me, but ultimately, we are doing the right thing. Ultimately, we are beginning a life together…and I'm not sure I ever see that ending right now. I'm not sure I could ever even begin to picture the day when Arizona is no longer coming home to me.

We're too good together to ever break up. Sure, we will have differences of opinions probably multiple times a year, but we are too strong to walk away because of uncertainty or our own issues. We are better than that. We are so much more than that. We both have enough honesty for each other that if something ever was on our mind, we would speak up and we would work through it. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing could ever tear me away from Arizona. She is way too good to ever lose, and god…I love her more than anything else I have in my life.

Getting myself comfortable, I turn on my side and the cool morning air hits my naked skin. I'd get up and throw some clothes on, but since I'm not working out today, Arizona and I can work out together. I'm sure she'd sooner be here in bed with me anyway. She always begs me not to leave, so this morning she won't have to. Wrapping my arms around her waist, she shifts in the bed and I pull her against my body. She's always so warm, but that doesn't surprise me. Everything about her is warm. I guess that's just who she is. "Morning beautiful." Placing a kiss below her ear, I feel her smile and it causes one of my own to settle on my face. "Are you still with me this morning?"

"Only just." She mumbles before releasing an adorable yawn. "Why are you still here?"

"Didn't want to leave you…" I admit. "You're too warm and snuggly."

"Eliza Minnick, are you using me as an excuse to not work out?" She narrows her eyes and props herself up on her elbow.

"Maybe." I shrug. "But, think of all the fun we can ha-" Cut off by the sound of a knock at the door, I glance at the clock and furrow my brow. "Who the hell is at our door at 6:15 am?"

"No idea…but, maybe if we ignore it, they will go away." She smirks as she climbs on top of me, her center forcing down against my own.

"Mm, I like your thinking." Her lips pressing against the skin of my neck, I shift my body down the bed a little and her hands work my body up just like they did last night. Another knock, I close my eyes and pull my girlfriend down against me. "We aren't here…" I whimper as her hand slips between our bodies. "Mm, we definitely aren't here." I moan. "Fuck."

"Someone is a little wet this morning." She whispers in my ear. "That's kinda hot."

"Y-You, oh god…you are kinda hot." The knocking becoming a little louder _and_ a little distracting, Arizona drops her head to my shoulder and groans.

"You should get that."

"Can a girl not get laid in her own fucking home…" I whine. "Stay here…think of me…I'll be right back." Rolling off of me, she watches my naked body climb from the bed and smirks. "Just have to go and kick someone's ass." Disappearing as I pull my robe over my body, I rush down the stairs and unlock my front door. "What?" The door opening, my eyes widen and I groan. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hey, sis!"

"Don't fucking 'hey sis' me!" I spit. "It's 6 am."

"6:20, actually." She shrugs. "Are you going to let me in, or?"

"Is that an actual question because you know my answer." I look her up and down and she releases a deep breath and pushes past me. _Fuck sake!_ "Maddie, I'm busy."

"Yeah yeah…working out or whatever. We can work out together."

"Uh, my working out _doesn't_ involve you. It never will." Closing the door, I step up behind her and place my hands on my hips. "What do you want?"

"I got fired." She sighs. "Slept with a client." _Oh, great. This is just fucking brilliant._ "Can you get me in your place?" _Can I not even have the whole 'slept with a client' thing to myself, either?_

"I've already told you I can't," I state. "You've asked me three times within the last six months and my answer is still the same…no!"

"Oh, come on…please?" She gives me a pleading look and I shake my head. "I swear I'll behave."

"Maddie, I wouldn't get you a job if it depended on you keeping a roof over your head. You know I won't work with you and you know I don't like you…please, just leave."

"I have nowhere to go." She sighs. "Can I crash?"

"Nope." I don't even have to think about it. There is no way my sister is hanging anywhere that my girlfriend is. Not a chance. "Book into a hotel. Sleep on a bench. Do what you like…but you are not staying here."

"Why?" She smirks. "Busy upstairs, huh?"

"So what if I am?" I scoff. "Even if I _didn't_ have someone here, you still wouldn't be staying with me."

"Is she hot?" She folds her arms over her chest and gives me a knowing look. "Bring her down, I wanna meet her."

"She doesn't need to bring me down anywhere." My girlfriend calls out from behind me. "Perfectly capable of doing that myself." Placing her hand on the small of my back, Arizona leans into me and lowers her tone. "Okay, it's kinda creepy how much you guys look alike."

"Don't fucking remind me." I roll my eyes. "Arizona, this is Maddie. Maddie, my _girlfriend_ Arizona."

"Hey…" She gives my girlfriend a flirty smile. "You must be special if this one has settled down."

"I'd have settled down a long time ago if you hadn't fucked Sophie." I spit. "Now, if you could leave, that would be awesome." Stepping away from Arizona, I approach my sister and stop dead in front of her. "I don't know why you are here, and I don't know what games you plan on playing, but I'm not interested. I'm not interested in anything you do. Leave."

"I don't have anywhere to go."

"There are hundreds of hotels here…find one, and get out of my life."

"You'd really let me book into a hotel when you have tons of space here?" She raises her eyebrow. "You'd kick your own sister out for your home?"

"This is _my_ space, and I don't need you to ruin it...and yeah, I would kick you out. No…" I hold up my hand. "I _am_ kicking you out. Throwing my thumb over my shoulder, she drops her head and steps past me. Giving Arizona a slight smile as she brushes past her, my girlfriend furrows her brow and attempts to speak. "Don't even say what I think you're going to say…"

"O...kay." She steps back and makes her way into the kitchen. Seeing my sister out, she steps out onto the street and turns back to face me.

"Maddie, I'm not doing this now." I sigh. "Get your shit together and change your attitude and I'll meet you for lunch through the week. You aren't staying here, though. You just…you can't."

"Fine…" She breathes out. "Call me?"

"I will." I nod. "When I've come to terms with the fact that you are even here." Watching her walk away, I do feel a little hint of guilt set in. Problem is, I know what she is like and I know that she will only cause trouble for me. I don't need that right now. I've had it with her one too many times, and I'm not prepared for the repeat. Heading back into the kitchen, Arizona leans against the counter and stares me down. "Don't look at me like that!"

"Like what?" She asks.

"Like I'm a total bitch for what I've just done." I sigh.

"You were a little harsh on her." My girlfriend admits. "But it's nothing to do with me, so I'll just mind my own business."

"I'm sorry." I step a little closer to her and pull her into my arms. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"It's okay." She smiles. "It's what I'm here for, right?"

"No." I shake my head. "It's not what you're here for. Not at all. You are here because I love you. Not to be spoken to like that."

"Eliza, I don't know the whole story where you and your sister are concerned, so it wasn't my place to make a comment. I appreciate that you guys don't get along…"

"See what I mean?" I groan. "She isn't even here right now and she is already causing trouble. God, she infuriates me."

"Causing trouble?" Arizona furrows her brow. "With who?"

"Us." A sigh falling from my lips, Arizona cups my face with her hands and gives me a sad smile.

"No trouble here, beautiful."

"Maybe not yet." I scoff. "It's only a matter of time, though."

"A matter of time until what?" Arizona pulls back a little and studies my face. "Eliza?"

"Until she sleeps with you or something…" I roll my eyes. "I mean, she's already got you feeling sorry for her."

"Excuse me." My girlfriend's eyebrow raised, I regret the words I've just spoken. "Y-You think I'd cheat on you?"

"No." I try to backtrack. "That's not what I meant."

"Oh, I didn't know there was another way that _that_ could have been meant." Moving away from me, her hands drop from my face and I brace myself against the kitchen counter. "Maybe you should work out after all."

"Arizona, wait." I sigh. "Please?"

"For what?" She asks. "For you to explain why you seem to think that I'd bang your sister? Who, by the way, is _nothing_ like you."

"I'm sorry." I give her a sad smile. "She just makes me feel on edge. I don't know how she does it, but god…she makes me crazy."

"Yeah, I can see that." My girlfriend scoffs. "I don't know what is going on in your head right now, and I don't know why you think it's okay to even think what you just have…but that was cruel. Suggesting that I would ever even do that to you was cruel."

"No, I didn't mean that you would do that. I just...ugh, I don't even know what I meant." I drop my hands. "I just…I'm sorry." Closing my eyes momentarily, I shake my head and drop my gaze. The sound of footsteps approaching the staircase, my eyes shoot open and I have to end this before it gets any worse. I didn't ever mean for Arizona to feel this way, so no…this can't continue. We can't avoid each other or the conversation. No way. We've done that before, and look how it's ended in the past. I'm not willing to even chance another fall out with her. "Arizona, stop." Rushing up the staircase behind her, I follow her into our bedroom and grip her wrist. "Please, don't do that."

"I'm taking a shower."

"Not without me you're not." I shake my head. "I'm sorry, but I didn't mean for that to sound how it did. I know that you are hurt by what I said, but it wasn't my intention. I never meant to take this out on you. You have to believe me."

"You just said that I would eventually sleep with your sister. Or she would eventually sleep with me, whatever. However you dress it up, it still means the same thing." Her voice breaking, she drops her gaze.

"Baby, please look at me?" A pleading tone in my words, she refuses to meet my eyes so I dip my head a little. "I hate her being here. It just messes everything up."

"But that wasn't her doing, Eliza. You did that all by yourself."

"I know. I understand that." I admit. "But you don't know what she is like. I just…I meant that she would try it on with you, and she will. I know she will. Sure, I could have worded it a little better than I did, but she makes me nervous. She makes me scared of what could happen."

"I wouldn't do that to you…" My girlfriend shakes her head. "I'd _never_ do that to you."

"I know you wouldn't." Her gaze lifts a little. "But she would. She would try to, and the last time she did that…she succeeded. She broke my heart, they both did."

"I know she's not you, Eliza," Arizona replies. "I'd know the second she was within a mile of me."

"I'd like to believe that, but she has her ways, Arizona. I don't know how or why she does it, but she is intent on ruining my fucking life."

"She won't." She states. "She doesn't have your eyes."

"What do you mean?"

"The first thing I noticed that was different about you both was her eyes. She doesn't have the same eyes as you. I would know your eyes in the darkest of rooms, and she doesn't have them. She could never look at me the way that _you_ look at me."

"Yeah?" My lips curl into a slight smile. "Y-You'd know the difference?"

"Of course, I would." She scoffs. "I'd know _you_ anywhere."

"You've no idea how reassuring that is to hear." I breathe out. "No idea."

"You have to trust me, okay?" She raises her eyebrow. "I don't care what she or anybody else has done to you in the past. You just have to trust _me._ "

"I've never not trusted you, beautiful." My thumb running across her bottom lip, I lean in a little closer and press my own against hers. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too." She pulls back. "Because whatever she did to you, she really hurt you. It may have been a long time ago, but I know that trust issue never goes away. You can trust me, though, Eliza. I swear I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"I know." I rest my forehead against her own. "Can I make you dinner tonight?" I ask. "Anything to try to show you how sorry I am?"

"You don't have to do that…"

"But I want to." I smile. "I want a night that is just us. Nobody else. No talk of anybody else. I just need us to be okay…"

"We are okay." My girlfriend tries to reassure me but I'm struggling to believe that right now. "Can we just do us and leave everyone else to do as they please? Nobody else interests me. I'm not concerned about them."

"Yeah." I nod in agreement. "But I'd still like to cook for you tonight."

"Okay." She shrugs her robe from her shoulders and it falls to the floor. Her naked body now on show for my eyes only. "But first, we have to shower…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	36. Chapter 36

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Thirty-Six

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Heading down the street towards home, I've felt a little unsettled all day since Maddie arrived. I mean, I don't know her and she may be nice, but from what Eliza has told me about her, I don't imagine that is true. I mean, she ruined her relationship with her sister because of something unimaginable, so I get it. I just didn't like the way she made my girlfriend feel this morning. I didn't like that her arrival made Eliza feel uncomfortable and caused her to question what we are. At least, that's how it felt to me. It felt like she was genuinely concerned that I wouldn't stick around. Instead, I'd roll around in bed with Maddie. I meant it though when I told her that I knew the difference between them both immediately. Maddie has a look in her eyes that makes me feel uneasy. A look that tells me she can't be trusted. Maybe I'm judging before I should, but I think I'm with Eliza on this one. I think her sister may actually be the bitch of the century. She isn't my concern, though. Eliza is. Eliza is my world and my love and so long as I know that we are okay, Maddie will never be any concern of mine.

Reaching home, I take my key from my purse and slip it into the lock. Something smells good, and right now, I'm kinda glad that Eliza suggested cooking tonight. I don't feel much like doing anything else other than lounging with her, so a little dinner and her arms are good enough for me. I love weeknights with my girlfriend. They're cozy and warm and just us. Once we both arrive home, the rest of the world is shut out, and we simply exist in our own little bubble. I know sometimes it isn't as easy as just shutting the world out, but she makes it possible. We both do, I guess. I spend most of my time in my own world, anyway, but the world I share with Eliza is so much better than any I could create in my head. So much better than any I could create and turn into a novel. Our world is perfect, and nothing and no one could ever change that for us.

"I'm home." Calling out throughout the two-story townhouse I've just stepped in, I hear a little light music playing in the kitchen and the sound of my girlfriend preparing dinner. I haven't spent much time with her today since she had the day off from the coffee shop, but I know that once I see her, I'll stop missing her and it will have all been worth it. She makes missing her worth it every day, because once we are together…it all disappears. It disappears and I feel like we've never been apart. "Eliza?"

"In here, beautiful." Heading in the direction of the kitchen, I find her watching me from the other side of the room and a smile instantly settles on my face. "Hey…" She approaches me. "Good day?"

"Could have been better." I shrug as drop my bag down onto the couch and she wraps her arms around my waist. "It's all okay now, though."

"Good...I'm happy to hear that." Slipping my jacket from my shoulders, my girlfriend throws it over the back of the couch and presses her lips to my own. "We're okay, right?"

"Yeah." I press my forehead to her own and give her a sad smile. "We are okay."

"Promise?" She asks, her tone a little unsure. "Promise that if you are still hurt by my words, you will tell me?"

"It's okay, Eliza." I smile. "I kinda get it, and I've been thinking about it all day…just, so long as I know that you trust me, I'll be careful around her."

"Well, I'm hoping she won't get anywhere near you, but yes…I trust you, Arizona. I trust you with my life." Pulling me in a little closer, she turns our bodies and pushes me down onto the couch. "Now, tonight is all about you, okay?"

"Well, I hoped it would be about _us,_ but okay." I furrow my brow. "What did you have in mind?"

"Figured you could use a dance." She narrows her eyes. "It's been _way_ too long and I wouldn't want you to feel neglected."

"Yeah…" I sigh and drop my gaze. "I was beginning to feel that way."

"Poor baby." She straddles my legs. "Forgive me?"

"I guess so." I shrug, playing along with her little game. My hands resting on her almost naked thighs, her hot pants ride further up and they are leaving very little to the imagination right now. "May I touch you?" I ask.

"No." She gives me a smirk and removes my hands from her body. "You may not." Lifting them above my head, one hand wraps around my wrists and she grinds her ass down against my denim-clad thighs. "You should know by now that you are not allowed to touch…"

"But I really wanna." I pout. "Not even just a little?" Her free hand working the controller for her docking station, she shakes her head and turns her attention back to me.

 ** _Not tryna be indie_**

 ** _Not tryna be cool_**

 ** _Just tryna be in this_**

 ** _Tell me are you too?_**

 ** _Can you feel where the wind is?_**

 ** _Can you feel it through_**

 ** _All of the windows_**

 ** _Inside this room?_**

"Touch, and I stop." She states as she dips her head and runs her tongue along my jawline. "Talk and I stop." She bites down on my neck. "Breathe and I stop." _Fuck!_ I love this side of my girlfriend. It's hot. It's us. It's exactly what drew me to her all those months ago when she danced for me. "Do as I say, and you will come."

 ** _'Cause I wanna touch you baby_**

 ** _And I wanna feel you too_**

 ** _I wanna see the sun rise_**

 ** _On your sins just me and you_**

Giving her a nod, it's no use even attempting to argue with her. She knows what she wants, and she knows exactly how to get it. I'm simply here for her pleasure right now. Even if I will scream her name on this couch. She knows how to work my body up perfectly, and the more her ass hits my legs, the more aroused I'm becoming. I'm not sure I'll ever tire of her dancing for me. No matter how wrong some people may think it is. The beat of the music changing around us, she grips the back of the couch and forces her center against my own. She knows what her body does to me, and she knows what her dancing does to me…it only makes all of this so much hotter than it needs to be. I mean, I'm not complaining, no. I'm just not sure I can handle all of this sometimes. I'm not sure my body can hold on when she gets herself into this kind of situation. "You've missed me dancing for you, huh?" Noting the change in the color of my eyes, I give her a small nod and she grips my jaw. "How much have you missed it?" She asks.

 ** _Light it up, on the run_**

 ** _Let's make love tonight_**

 ** _Make it up, fall in love_**

 ** _Try_**

 ** _But you'll never be alone_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

 ** _I'll hold you when things go wrong_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

"So much." I moan as her grip tightens a little. Her thumb shifting, she runs it across my bottom lip before capturing it between her teeth. "Mm…" Smiling against her mouth, she presses her body harder against my own and fresh arousal floods from my already soaked sex.

"I love this." She moans. "I love everything about you. About us." Climbing off of me, she slips my jeans from my thighs and my panties quickly follow. Forcing my blouse open, I gasp when the cool air hits the skin of my chest. "I love fucking you when you cannot do _anything_ about it." Her words sending my head into a spin, I simply sit and watch her as her tongue pokes out and trails down between my breasts. Her fingers popping the clasp on the front of my bra, it falls open and she instantly sucks a nipple into her mouth. "So fucking beautiful." She moans against my breast. "Everything about you is so beautiful."

 ** _We were shut like a jacket_**

 ** _So do your zip_**

 ** _We would roll down the rapids_**

 ** _To find a wave that fits_**

 ** _Can you feel where the wind is?_**

 ** _Can you feel it through_**

 ** _All of the windows_**

 ** _Inside this room?_**

Forcing my ass into the couch, desperate for a little friction, she raises an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look. Dropping my gaze, she places her hands on my thighs and leans down, her breath washing over my face. "You know you're not supposed to do that." Dropping to her knees, she spreads my legs impossibly wide and brings them up onto the couch, my knees now bent, leaving me totally open to my girlfriend. "Incredible." She smiles as she runs two fingers through my dripping folds. "And so fucking wet." Biting down on her own bottom lip, I study her face and it makes me want her right this second. She loves this. She loves knowing she can do whatever she pleases to me and I'll simply allow her to. "Do I make you this wet, Arizona?" She raises her eyebrow, her voice painfully low. "Only me?"

"Y-Yes." I breathe out as she dips a single finger inside my entrance. She's giving me something, but nowhere near enough what I want from her. She knows it, too. "Fuck."

"No." She slips out of me. "I asked you a question. I didn't ask for anything other than a simple reply."

"S-Sorry." I close my eyes and pray that she will continue this sooner rather than later.

"And there you go again." She sighs. "You just don't know how to keep your mouth shut, do you?" Giving her no response, she smirks and slips a finger back inside of me. Curling it a little, I try to force myself against her hand but I know better than that. If I do, she will stop again. I know she is only working me up, and god, the outcome is amazing, but I just need her to fuck me right now. "Your body is an absolute masterpiece." She smiles as she focuses on my throbbing sex. Watching as her own fingers work magic between my legs, I notice that she is struggling to control her own body right now. "You wanna be fucked?" She tilts her head a little and I nod in agreement. "Stand up!"

 ** _'Cause I wanna touch you baby_**

 ** _I wanna feel you too_**

 ** _I wanna see the sun rise_**

 ** _On your sins just me and you_**

 ** _Light it up, on the run_**

 ** _Let's make love tonight_**

 ** _Make it up, fall in love_**

 ** _Try_**

Doing as she asks, she turns my body around and nudges the back of my knees. Knowing exactly what she is going to do, I kneel down on the couch and brace myself against the back of it. Her fingertips dragging up the back of my thigh, her other hand pushes against my lower back, forcing my body down a little more. "Eliza…" I breathe out. I know I'm not doing as she has asked in terms of keeping quiet, but I need her to know how much I want her. I need her to know that she is all I can think about right now. This morning wasn't the greatest for us, but I need her to know that nobody else would ever catch my attention. "I love you."

"I know you do, baby." Placing a soft kiss on my shoulder, she smiles against my skin and dips her hands between my legs from behind. "I love you too." Pushing two fingers deep inside of me, my body jolts forward and my head drops between my shoulders. Working me as good as ever, my eyes close and a small smile creeps onto my face. I love this. I love us. I just…I love her. I love her so much that sometimes it hurts to even breath when she isn't beside me. Her strength increasing a little, I feel my walls tightening around her fingers and it only makes me more aroused. Nobody has ever made me feel like Eliza does. Nobody could ever even begin to try. We just get each other. We know what the other is thinking. That's kinda special in my opinion. She may take me like the world is about to end, and she may be all kinds of dirty hot, but I love her like that. I love her whatever mood she is in. "You feel so good around me." Her words pushing me to the edge a little more each time she speaks, each time she breathes, she weaves her other hand around my stomach and trails her fingertips down a little, connecting with my clit.

 ** _But you'll never be alone_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

 ** _I'll hold you when things go wrong_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

"Oh god." I moan. My stomach tightening like never before, this woman behind me is every kind of incredible. She is mine and she always will be. Whether I'm at home with her or whether I'm away on a book tour, she will always be all I think about. "Y-Yes…fuck." My orgasm crashing through me, my knees tremble and my body weakens. "S-Shit, O-Oh…" Her fingers still working me amazingly, I grip her wrist from behind and she slows her movements. "Fuck, Eliza."

 ** _Go give love to your body_**

 ** _It's only you that can stop it_**

 ** _Go give love to your body_**

 ** _It's only you that can stop it_**

 ** _Go give love to your body_**

 ** _It's only you that can stop it_**

 ** _Go give love to your body_**

 ** _Go give love to your body_**

"God, I love watching you like that." Pulling me up and wrapping her arm around my waist she drops soft kisses along my shoulder blade and smiles. "I can't get enough of you…"

"I love you, Eliza." I breathe out. "No one could ever compare to you. Never."

 ** _But you'll never be alone_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

 ** _I'll hold you when things go wrong_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

 ** _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_**

 ** _Baby, I'm right here_**

"I'm sorry about this morning." Her voice breaking slightly, I rest my hands over her own on my stomach and tighten my grip. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know." My head resting on her shoulder, she nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck and slips out of me. "Oh god." The loss of contact felt immediately, her other arm wraps around my waist and we mold into one. "Just…I love you, okay? I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else."

"I swear I'm going to make you happy…if you'll let me?"

"You already make me happy." I turn my head a little and give her a genuine smile. "And I know that you will only ever be the one to do that. Stop worrying, please?"

"Okay, I'm sorry." She sighs. My body shivering a little, she grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and wraps it around me. "You rest for a little while. Dinner will be ready soon." Turning in her arms, I place a soft kiss on her lips and she smiles against my mouth. "God, you are so incredibly beautiful."

"Right back atcha." I throw her a wink and drop down onto the couch. "I think I need to nap. You've killed me… _again_."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Seven

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I'm meeting with my sister in the next ten minutes and right now, I don't want to be around her. She makes me feel uneasy. She makes me worry and my anxiety levels have been through the roof since she turned up at my door. I'm a pretty confident person most of the time, but she completely zaps that from me and I hate it. I hate how she makes me feel. She knows how she makes me feel and it only makes me even more angry with her. She doesn't take other people's feelings into consideration and she never has. If it doesn't suit her, everyone else can go to hell as far as she is concerned. At least, that's the impression I've always gotten from her.

Startled when she appears behind me, I grip my coffee cup and she drops down into the seat facing me. "Hey." She gives me a genuine smile, but I'm not entirely sure that's what it is. She knows how to butter me up. It doesn't work anymore, though.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I miss you, I guess." She shrugs. "Did you grab me a coffee?"

"Uh, no." I shake my head. "I didn't. I'm sure you are capable of getting your own stuff, no?"

"Okay, I guess I deserve that." She sighs. "Can we just have a normal conversation?"

"Probably not." I roll my eyes. "There is never anything _normal_ where you are concerned, Maddie."

"Look, I'm trying to be a better person, Eliza." I'd like to believe that she is telling the truth, but I'm having a hard time with that right now. My sister has never been one to try and do the right thing or be a better person. "I just need somewhere to stay until I can find a job."

"Why does it have to be in New York that you find a job?" I furrow my brow. "Why can't you go back home or somewhere totally different to me?"

"Because New York is as good a place as any. Besides, you are here and look how well you are doing."

"There aren't many clubs around here." I shrug. "You'd be better heading out of New York and finding something elsewhere."

"I have a meeting with your boss this evening." My heart dropping into my stomach, I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. "He seems like a nice guy."

"Maddie, you can't stay here and you certainly can't work with me," I state. "It just...it wouldn't work."

"Why not?" She gives me a look of confusion. "You work weekends, right?"

"Right." I sigh. I'm pretty sure she has this all planned out, but I guess I should hear what she has to say.

"So, I'll take weeknights." She smiles. "I don't want weekends anyway. Weekends are my own. You know, for whatever I want to get up to."

"I don't want _or_ need to know what you get up to." I scoff. "I lost interest in that a long time ago."

"Oh, come on Eliza." She rolls her eyes. "It was a long time ago. Do you really still hold it against me?"

"Yeah, I do." I nod. "Who does that to their own sister? Their own twin?"

"I'm sorry." She leans over a little and tries to take my hand in her own, but I pull away. "Please give me a chance out here with you?"

"No. Not happening." I shake my head and push my coffee cup away. "Maddie, you are free to do as you please, but you are not taking over my life here. No way. It's too good to let you in on it. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it has to be."

"It's the writer, huh?"

"Excuse me?" I furrow my brow.

"The writer you're banging." She smirks. "Her work is amazing, but is she _really_ as good as she writes it in her books?"

"You know what…stay away from me. Stay away from us."

"She's living with you." She narrows her eyes. "That's why you don't want me at your place."

"Back off, Maddie." I spit.

"Oh, relax." She sits back in her seat. "Her writing leaves very little to the imagination so I don't need to get her into bed. Anyone who reads her work feels like they have her hands all over them. It's hot."

"I'm leaving." I stand, my chair screeching along the floor. "Stay away from me. Stay away from the club. Just get out of my fucking life and do what you want."

"Oo, someone's feeling a little insecure."

"No, I'm just sick of your shit." Grabbing my jacket and my purse, I head out onto the street and try to breathe through my anger. I have a bad feeling about her being here, and that feeling has only intensified since I've met with her this morning. She may be trying to be a better person, but I know my sister better than she knows herself and I know that no matter how hard she tries…she will never change. Taking my cell from my pocket, I hit my message tab and send one off to my girlfriend.

 ** _Headed home. I'll see you tonight. We need to talk x_**

I hate that I have to discuss all of this with Arizona and I know that she has reassured me where my sister is concerned, but Maddie ain't leaving. I can argue with her until my very last breath, but I know she isn't leaving. I also know my boss will give her a job. He's always looking for dancers who are willing to work the weeknight shifts, so he will have her on that pole in no time. It turns my stomach knowing that she is going to be in the same city as me, but there is nothing I can do about it. I can ask her to leave and I can encourage her to do so, but she won't. She will do whatever she wants…just like she always does.

* * *

Settled on the couch, the fire is lit and I haven't moved for the past few hours. I've spent my entire afternoon thinking about my sister and the problems she could cause here. To most people, they would just laugh it off and leave her to do as she pleases, but I can't. I can't because I know how much of a bitch she can be. I know how cruel she can be. I don't even know how we are so similar in looks, but totally different people inside. I sometimes wonder how it's even possible that we are related, let alone twins. She is nothing like me, and even though I'm happy about that, it makes me a little sad. We were so close growing up, and even though it wasn't until college when she did what she did, I could see her changes when we were in our teens. I could see the difference in her around my friends. The people I cared about. I could see how different our lives would end up being. I never imagined she would steal my girlfriend, though. I never imagined she would totally follow everything I was doing and try to outdo me, but she did. She did, and I have to accept that.

The front door opening, the familiar sound of my girlfriend's heels makes me smile and I glance up to find her approaching me with a bottle of champagne. "Hey…" I furrow my brow. "What's the occasion?"

"Finished my book. It's all signed off and it's no longer any of my concern." She leans down and crushes her lips into my own. "Thank god."

"Wow, that's amazing." I give her a genuine smile. "I'm so proud of you, Arizona."

"No, I'm proud of you." She counters. "You stuck it out and even gave me the inspiration, so…thank you."

"It was my pleasure." She kicks off her heels and straddles my legs. "I missed you today."

"Mm, I missed you too." Her lips pressing against my neck, she is trying to start something but I'm really not in the mood right now. "I know you don't drink…" She breathes out against my ear. "But I figured after dinner...we could take this to the bedroom and have a little fun with it?"

"I, uh…" Clearing my throat, she pulls back and studies my face. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" She raises her eyebrow. "You never give me a _maybe_."

"Sorry, I'm just not in a great mood right now." I sigh and she climbs off of me.

"Wow, okay." She runs her fingers through her hair and heads for the kitchen. "Maybe I'll just open it another night. It's just a book…no big deal."

"No, baby…that's not what I'm saying." I try to reassure her. "I just…"

"Eliza, it's okay." She waves me off. "You met with Maddie today and I'm assuming it didn't go so well."

"Not really." I sigh. "But I don't want you to think that I was blowing you off just then. I'm just not feeling much like doing anything today."

"That's okay." She gives me a sad smile and sets her bottle of champagne down on the counter. "Maybe some other time." _Now I feel awful._

"For sure." I stand and round the back of the couch. "I'd love to celebrate with you." Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, she brushes past me and heads for the staircase.

"I'm taking a quick shower." She turns back to face me. "Get me into some comfortable clothes and relax for the night."

"Did you want me to come and join you?" I raise an eyebrow.

"No, that's okay. You relax here." I'm pretty sure she is tired of hearing about my spat with my sister, and once again, I've dragged our relationship into it. I've _never_ turned her down when she has gotten a little handsy, and now I'm beginning to regret my decision to do so. Dropping back down onto the couch, I rest my head back and close my eyes. I'm so fucking stupid sometimes. I mean, who turns down their super hot girlfriend because her sister has pissed her off? Who does that? Who misses out on the opportunity to go to bed with their amazingly talented girlfriend when champagne is involved? I'm such an asshole and now I've ruined our evening. Arizona walked through our door with a huge smile on her face, and now she has disappeared upstairs looking and probably feeling deflated. She wanted to share her celebrations with me, and because I'm being a moody bitch, everything has turned to shit.

* * *

My girlfriend has been showering for near on an hour and honestly, I'm feeling worse the longer she is away from me. I'm sure she is okay, but I'm still feeling really crappy about how I behaved. Honestly, I'd take her right now given half the chance, but that ship has sailed. I've totally killed the mood. Maddie killed my mood when I met her, and now I've brought that home with me. I've lowered the mood in my own home when I should be showering my girlfriend with kisses and lots and lots of celebratory sex. _God, she deserves that._ She deserves the world and more. I know this will all pass and we will be okay but I'm feeling super shitty right now.

The sound of her bare feet hitting the lower levels, I glance her way and she is busy typing away on her cell phone. "Nice shower?" I ask.

"Sure." Glancing up from her cell, she gives me a small smile. "Did you want to order dinner in, or?"

"No, I want you to come here…" I sit upright and she furrows her brow.

"What's up?" She asks as she approaches me and takes a seat beside me.

"I'm sorry." I take her cell from her hand and place it down on the coffee table. Lacing our fingers together, I press my lips to her own and pull back. "I'm so proud of you, and I'm so happy for you…"

"I know you are." She gives me a look of confusion and I think I may have totally overreacted whilst she was showering. "You don't have anything to apologize for."

"When you came home…" I give her a sad smile. "I wasn't blowing you off, I swear."

"Oh, Eliza." She runs her thumb over my knuckles. "It's no big deal. Really."

"But it is to me." I shrug. "Don't ever think that I don't want that with you."

"Relax." She gives me a smile. "It's not all about sex. I just…I guess I got a little over excited and my instant reaction was to make full use of the champagne. To celebrate with you. You know, in our own way. Just wanted someone to be happy about my book completion with me…but I've fixed that. So, really…it's okay."

"You've fixed what?" I furrow my brow.

"Teddy and I will open it tomorrow before we head out to celebrate." _Oh._ "I figured since you are working at the club, I'd head out with her for drinks."

"That sounds nice." I agree. _She should be celebrating with me._ "Just be careful, okay?"

"Careful?"

"Yeah, you know." I shrug. "It's Friday night. People drink too much."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." She squeezes my hand. "Now, how about we order some dinner and then you can tell me all about your encounter with your sister?"

"She's staying." I shrug. "In New York."

"O...kay." She narrows her eyes. "And you're not happy about that, right?"

"No, I'm not happy. Not at all." I shake my head. "Maybe we should just do this another time. You were happy and excited when you returned from work, and I'm pretty sure you don't need to hear all of this right now."

"Hey…" She curls her fingers under my chin. "If it's upsetting you, I want to hear about it."

"I know, but-"

"But nothing." She gives me a knowing look.

"I just don't want her here, Arizona." I sigh. "She is even taking a job at the club."

"Your club?" She raises an eyebrow. "Wow, she really doesn't care, does she?"

"No, she doesn't." I scoff. "She knows who you are, too."

"Knows who I am?"

"Yeah. She knows you're a writer and she's read your stuff."

"Awesome." She smiles. "She will have another to read soon. Well, in like…six weeks."

"Yeah, great." I give her a half smile and drop my gaze. "Kinda wish she wasn't one of your readers, but whatever."

"I have thousands of readers, Eliza. Your sister is no different to the rest of them." She dips her head a little. "She said something, didn't she?"

"Just that your stuff is great." I clear my throat. "None of it matters, anyway." I shrug. "The fact of the matter is…she is staying and I have to share this city with her. This fucking air."

"Why are you getting so worked up?" She furrows her brow. "Why are you bothered?"

"It doesn't matter." I roll my eyes. "Just…do whatever you were doing before I interrupted you."

"Eliza?" She gives me a hard glare. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I stand but she grips my wrist. "Arizona, just forget about it. You're right. I don't know why I'm bothered. I have no reason to get worked up."

"But clearly, this is a problem for you." She states. "I know you hate her being here, but you really shouldn't let her get to you."

"I know…but it's hard not to." I sigh. "She just makes me feel this way."

"So…you pay no attention to her. You let her do her own thing. If you have to act like she doesn't exist in your life, do that. Whatever works best for you." She smiles. "Just don't let her ruin your mood. I hate seeing you like this. This isn't the Eliza I know. My Eliza is fun and flirty. Soft. Sweet. Loving. Doesn't take any crap from anyone."

"Yeah, I'm trying to do that. I really am." I admit. "But I'll try harder, okay?"

"Whatever works for you." She presses a kiss to my lips. "You know I support you, and you know that I love you. Just…give this a chance. She may even surprise you."

"Yeah." I scoff. "No chance of that happening."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Good to see that people are still enjoying this fic. Thanks**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

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I've spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing. It's been kinda nice, but now I'm bored. I'm bored beyond belief. I know I'm only taking a break from writing for a few weeks, but I'm not sure I'll last that long. I mean, I didn't even bother to shower until almost midday, and I miss my girlfriend. Since we met, I've worked from the coffee shop most days, but now I have no reason to be there. Well, I do, because she is there but still…I can't spend my life sitting in a coffee shop for the sake of it. She is due home in the next ten minutes or so, but tonight we are going to be more like passing ships. I'm headed out to celebrate with Teddy, and Eliza will be getting ready for her shift at the club. I'd thought about asking her to take the night off but she was a little weird last night when I suggested we celebrate so I figured I'd just leave it. I know she has a lot going on with her sister right now, but I won't lie…I'm feeling a little left out of our relationship since Maddie arrived in New York. Sure, it's only been a few days, but Eliza never turns down the opportunity to take things to the bedroom. _Never._ I tried not to think too much about it, but yeah…her behavior last night hurt a little.

I mean, I just wanted to come home and share my excitement with her. You know, the end of one chapter and the beginning of another so to speak. One that she will be with me for. I just wanted her enthusiasm and her support but I didn't really get that last night. I got the praise and what not, but I needed a little excitement from her and I never got a single hint of any happiness. I shouldn't be mad at her for it, and I'm not, but I do feel a little hurt. I guess it's no big deal, though. She was having an off day, and it just happened to be the same day that my happiness was supposed to take center stage. It is what it is, I guess.

Heading for the closet, I pull various dresses out and set them out on our super king size bed. Teddy plans on dressing up tonight since we are hitting a ladies bar, but I don't need to make as much of an effort. I have my lady here with me, so anyone else has no reason to look, and I have no reason to prowl. Undecided between the black dress and the deep blue dress, I hear the front door open and it tells me that my girlfriend is home. "Eliza?" I call out.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come up here please?" I ask. "It will just take a second." Hearing footsteps approaching me, she appears in the doorway and gives me a smile. "Hey…"

"What's up?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"Black or blue." Holding the dresses up, she studies them both then switches her gaze back up to my face.

"Black." She nods. "For sure."

"Definitely?" I raise an eyebrow. "Is the black not a little boring?"

"Not at all. It looks amazing on you, so?" Shrugging, she pushes off of the door frame and steps out into the hallway. "Where are you headed tonight, anyway?"

"Usual." I turn my back and hang up the dresses. "Teddy needs to find herself a lady."

"Ugh, great." She whines.

"Um…" Furrowing my brow, I turn around to find her gone. _Okay, what the hell was that about?_ Following my girlfriend downstairs, I catch up with her in the kitchen and she is preparing coffee. "What was that about?"

"It's bad enough that I can't be there with you, but you are hitting a gay bar, too?"

"Is that a problem?" I ask, totally confused.

"Apparently not." She shrugs and shakes her head, a slight scoff attached to her words. "Go and have fun."

"Well that's what I was planning on doing but you don't seem happy about it." I pull myself up onto a stool and study her every move. She's tense. Stressed, even. I can see it in her shoulders. "Is there a problem with me heading into town tonight?"

"No, none at all." She states, her mind clearly elsewhere. "Sucks that you don't want to celebrate with me, is all. You know, when I'm available to join you…"

"Crazy." I laugh. "Since I wanted to celebrate with you last night but you blew me off."

"You said we were okay about last night." She turns to face me, her brow furrowed.

"We are, but since you are being weird about me heading out, I figured I'd throw it in there." I shrug. "Can I get a coffee, or?"

"Sure." She sighs as she pours me a cup of my own and sets it down in front of me. "I just…I don't like this."

"What?" I ask, again…completely confused.

"You going out looking gorgeous and me not being there to show you off."

"When does that ever happen anyway?" I roll my eyes. "When do we _ever_ get the chance to go out and show each other off?"

"We don't." She sighs and drops her gaze. "And I know that is my fault. Just…come home to me, okay?"

"Whoa…" I hold up my hands. "We aren't doing this. No way." Climbing down from my stool, I grab my coffee and give her an incredulous look. "That's really fucking disappointing, Eliza. _Really!_ "

"Arizona, wait!" Ignoring her request, I take the stairs two at a time and slam our bedroom door shut. How dare she insinuate that I'll find someone else to keep me company tonight. How dare she even think that let alone say it. I'm so mad right now, and I don't know what her problem is. I don't know what I've done wrong. It seems like she is ready to explode at any given opportunity lately and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. _I need another shower._ I need to feel the heat against my skin to calm me. I just…I need to relax.

* * *

"Okay, yes. I'm coming, Teddy. Give me five." Slipping my heels on, I straighten myself out and grab my blazer from its hanging position over the back of a chair. "Yes, I'm coming. Yes...right now." Ending the call, I slip my cell into my purse and glance over at my girlfriend. "I'm leaving."

"Bye then." She shrugs as she lifts her feet and rests them on the coffee table.

"Are we going to do this all night?" I raise an eyebrow and she glances my way. "Because I'm not coming home to this mood. I'll crash with Teddy if you want me to."

"Whatever you want to do." She gives me a sarcastic smile.

"You know what, Eliza…you are being a real fucking ass lately and I don't like it." Shaking my head, I approach the door and rest my hand on the handle. "Maybe you should just call me when you remember why you love me. I'm outta here." Opening the door, I step out onto the street and Teddy is waiting for me in a taxi. Climbing inside, I shake my head and release a deep breath.

"What's up with you?" She furrows her brow. "Aren't you supposed to be all happy and in love in a sickly gross way?"

"Tell that to my girlfriend." I scoff.

"Oo, trouble in paradise?" She wrinkles her nose. "You need a place to live?"

"Don't even joke about that." I hold up my hands. "I just need a drink. A lot of drinks. The entire bar."

"My kinda night." She laughs. "You'll look after me, though, right?"

"Of course, I will." I rest my hand on her own and give it a reassuring squeeze. "I've got your back, Ted's." Glancing down into my purse, I check my cell and find nothing from my girlfriend. No apology. No nothing. Rolling my eyes, I rest my head back and tap my foot against the taxi floor. _She really is beginning to push it now._ Deciding to push her attitude from my mind, I focus my attention on the bright lights of New York and smile to myself. _It's been so long since I went out dancing with my best friend._ I deserve this. I deserve to be happy and relaxed. I've worked my ass off the past few months and I plan on getting totally wasted tonight. Why not, I have nowhere to be tomorrow.

The taxi coming to a stop, Teddy motions for me to climb out and as my feet hit the concrete, the fresh air is a welcome relief. I don't want to spend the evening wondering if Eliza and I are okay. Of course, we are. I mean, it's us. We are amazing together. I just need her to shift this mood before it really does become a major problem. It's only a matter of time, I know it is. I cannot and I will not let her sister come between us. I know that this is what this is about. I know she is worried her sister will hunt me down and steal me away, but it's not going to happen and the sooner she realizes that, the better. For both of us.

Heading inside the bar, I find a few familiar faces that I haven't seen in a while and I throw them a wave. Cheryl is here with a few of the guys from the office, and Teddy has invited a few old friends of ours. It should be a pleasant evening, but I'm a little mad that Eliza isn't with me right now. I know she has to work, and I understand that, but still…I wish she was here with me. I wish she was here so she could meet the people I used to hang with. I wish she was here with her arm wrapped around my waist. She's not, though, and I have to accept that.

Checking my cell once more, I finally have a message from her and it settles me a little. I don't like fighting with anyone, especially my girlfriend, but I guess we all have those days, right?

 ** _I'm sorry. I do want you to come home tonight. I'll always want you here with me. I love you. Xx_**

 ** _That's all I needed to hear. I love you, too. I wish you were here with me. Az x_**

Locking my cell, I slip it back into my purse and Teddy pulls me towards the bar. I'm going to try to enjoy my night as best as I can, but I would prefer it if Eliza was here with me. I'll always want her out on the town with me. I don't care who does or doesn't recognize her. I have never done. Receiving a shot from Teddy, I knock it back and she hands me a glass of champagne. "Congrats, Arizona. Another bestseller on the way."

"I hope so." I smile. "Wait, how do you know?"

"None of your business." She throws me a wink.

"You've read my stuff, haven't you?"

"Of course, I have." She laughs. "You're my best friend. I just couldn't tell you. You know, when I was in the closet."

"Damn." I shake my head. "My gaydar is so off."

"Yeah, it is." She agrees. "Come on, let's dance." Dragging me further into the room, she spins me around and knocks back her own glass of champagne. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Arizona Robbins."

"Thanks." I laugh. "Proud of you, too."

* * *

We've been at the bar for around two hours, and I won't lie…I need to slow down with my drinks. I don't know why I'm feeling so thirsty tonight, but word seems to have gotten around that I'm here and a few people have shown up for me. People I don't even know. People who are interested in my work and whatever else I do, and yeah…it feels kinda nice. It feels more than nice, actually. It feels amazing to have people around me who know and love what I do. So amazing.

"So, did you ever have it all set out in front of you?" Julia, a fan asks.

"Honestly, most of the time…no." Sipping on my fresh glass of champagne, I shift a little in my seat and she leans in a little closer.

"Never? Where do your scenarios even come from?"

"Past experience." I shrug. "My most recent relationship. Just…it always comes from somewhere."

"Your most recent relationship?" She furrows her brow. "So you're single?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "I'm very much in a committed relationship."

"That sucks." She groans. "I know a ton of people who want a piece of Arizona Robbins."

"Ah…" I nod. "You should probably tell them that they're wasting their time." This woman has been trying to keep the conversation way longer than appropriate so I know where this is going. "I'm very much in love with my girlfriend."

"That's good." She smiles. "And she's okay with the things that you write?"

"More than okay." I smile.

"Who's okay with what?" A familiar voice behind me pulls me from my conversation and a smile instantly settles on my face. Turning, I find my girlfriend standing behind me with her hands on her hips.

"Oh my god, you're here." Standing, I pull her into a hug and press my lips against her own. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You said you wanted me here." She shrugs. "So, here I am."

"God, I love you." I smile against her mouth. "Eliza, this is Julia. Julia, Eliza…my girlfriend."

"Great to meet you." Eliza holds out her hand and my fan takes it in her own.

"You too." She gives her an awkward smile. "I'll leave you guys to go and mingle." _Mm, thought as much._ Turning my attention back to my girlfriend, I study her face and she furrows her brow.

"How did you get the night off work?" I ask. "I mean, it's Friday. Busiest night."

"Told the boss I couldn't work." She shrugs as she glances around the venue. "Told him I had somewhere more important to be."

"Yeah?" I smile as she places her hand on the small of my back. "You are looking hot tonight." I glance her way and she guides me through the crowd and towards the bar.

"Not as good as you look." Pressing a kiss below my ear, she calls for another bottle of champagne and the bartender gives her a nod in acknowledgment. "You know, I was jealous of you coming here tonight."

"I know." I smile. "But I don't like it when your jealousy boils over like it did tonight."

"I'm sorry." Her hand slips to my ass. "I just don't like knowing that other women have their eyes on you."

"You know I only have my eyes on you, though." My hand resting on her hip, she clinks her glass against my own and smiles into a kiss. "No one could ever come close to you, Eliza."

"You know I'm proud of you, right?" Giving her a slight nod, she runs her thumb across my cheek and smiles. "And you know that I wanted nothing more than to celebrate with you last night…"

"No, you didn't," I state. "That's okay, though. I just…I need you to focus on us. Not her. Not your sister. We are the ones who matter and I can't watch you worry like you have been. It hurts me to see you like that." Her hand still placed firmly on the small of my back, I know she is letting the entire club know that I'm taken. That's fine by me. I'll only ever be taken by her. By Eliza. "You really don't need to worry about her, okay?"

"I'm trying." She gives me a nod in agreement. "I just feel like I'm constantly watching my back. I don't want it to be like that. I just want to be happy with you."

"And you are." I drop my own hand to her ass and lean in a little closer. "Dance with me?"

"Oh, I'm not sure this is the place for my dancing." She laughs and gives me a knowing look.

"So long as you don't force me into a chair and grind in my lap, I think everything will be okay." Throwing her a wink, I pull my girlfriend through the crowd and her arms wrap around my waist from behind. Her hands settling on the tops of my thighs, I force my ass back against her and she drops her head to my shoulder, turning it a little and smiling against my neck.

"You are so incredibly beautiful." Her words causing my eyes to close, she drops light kisses down my neck and lowers her tone. "Dancing with you always makes me want you even more…" She admits.

"How much?" I turn my head a little and capture the lips. "How much do you want me?"

"Like you couldn't even begin to imagine." She breathes against my ear. "I'm so wet for you, Arizona."

"Oh god." Biting down on the inside of my mouth, my own arousal pools between my legs and I know that all eyes are on us. "You love being watched, don't you?"

"Oh yeah." She agrees. "Because I want everyone to know that you belong to me. That I own this hot ass grinding against me."

"Mmhmm." Turning in her arms, I study her face and bite down on my bottom lip. "It's going to be one of those nights, huh?"

"No." She shakes her head as she rests her forehead against my own. "Tonight I'm going to make love to you...champagne included."

"Oh yeah?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Mm, I can already imagine how good it will taste to drink it from your body." Tilting her head a little, she presses her lips to my own. "God, I want you so much right now."

"Promise?" I ask. "Promise you won't change your mind when we get home?"

"I promise, beautiful." She whispers, a smile curling onto her lips. "Tonight I'm going to make you feel amazing."

"Good..." I breathe out and focus my eyes on the figure behind her. "...Because your sister has just walked in."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Thirty-Nine

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Arizona is lying. She has to be. Why would Maddie be here right now? I don't understand. _Wait, of course, I understand._ She cannot keep herself away from me, and she probably knows the kind of places that we drink at. This is a gay bar, after all. I still don't understand why she is here, though. I mean, I should be working tonight and she knows that, so why is she here? I'm lost right now. "You're lying…" I laugh.

"I'm really not." Studying my face, she glances behind me again and switches her gaze back to me. "Yep, she's here."

"Wait!" I remove my hands from her waist and step back a little. "Did you just check that I wasn't her?"

"What? No!" She snorts. "Of course, I know it's you."

"That's a lie." I give her an incredulous look. "You wasn't sure I was me…"

"Eliza, don't start." She pushes me away and heads for the bar. I don't fucking believe this. She has totally just checked that I was me and not Maddie. Turning around, I find my sister headed my way and I roll my eyes. Giving me a wave, I give her a look of total disgust and she finally reaches me through the crowd.

"Hey, sis." She pulls me into a hug.

"First of all, you look like a fucking whore…and second, why are you here?"

"Wow, that's really nice." She glances down at her body and smiles at the skirt that is barely covering anything at all. "I told you, the weekends are my own and what I do, and how I dress is totally up to me."

"Did you lose your fucking sight when you were changing, or?" Shaking my head, I know people are watching us but I don't care right now. "Go home, Maddie."

"You're supposed to be working tonight." She raises her eyebrow. "So, why are you here?"

"I'm here because I want to be, and when I do and don't work is _none_ of your business." Stepping a little closer to her, I lower my tone. "I don't know what your game is, but it stops now."

"I don't have a game." She smiles. "I just figured I'd come here and see what was on offer."

"There is _nothing_ on offer for you here," I state.

"I think I'll be the judge of that." She throws me a wink and heads for the bar. Following her, she steps up behind my girlfriend and places her hand on one side of the counter. "Arizona, hi." My girlfriend turns to face her and furrows her brow.

"Hi, Maddie." She clears her throat when she catches me watching. "Good to see you."

"Mm, it's definitely good to see you too." My sister flirts. _I swear to God I'm going to kill her. Right here. Right now. With my bare fucking hands._ "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Thanks, but I'm good." Pushing past my sister, Arizona heads my way and I give her a small smile. "Don't you dare smile at me." She spits as she pushes past me too. _Fuck!_ Watching her set her drink down, she heads off to the bathroom and my heart sinks into my chest. Leaving my own drink, I rush off after her and push through the door. Thankfully, it's empty in here but I can hear her crying and I don't like it.

"Arizona?" I make my way down the stalls and reach the one she is in. "Baby?"

"Go home, Eliza." Her voice breaking, I push the door but it's locked.

"Please, let me in?" I beg. I've let my mood get the better of me again and she has felt the full force of it. "Arizona, please?"

"I don't want to speak to you right now."

"But you're upset." _Way to go, asshole. Stating the obvious._ "I don't like seeing you upset."

"Then you should really try harder to _stop_ upsetting me." She replies. "Just go home. It's pointless being here." _Wow, good to know she thinks that._ "It's only going to cause another fight and I really don't have any fight left in me right now."

"Open the door, Arizona." My tone a little more stern, the lock clicks and I push the door open. "Come out here."

"Why? So you can insult me some more?" She scoffs as she wipes the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry." I give her a sad smile and hold my hand out to her but she declines, her head shaking.

"This was supposed to be my night." She cries. "I didn't ask for much, just some drinks with friends and the woman that I love…but I'm not sure you feel that way about me anymore."

"What?" My eyes widen. "Y-You think I don't love you?" My heart breaking at her admission, I don't even know what to say to her right now. How did I mess things up so much?

"You are so consumed with the fact that your sister is here that it's affecting us. It's affecting us way more than you realize." She releases a deep breath and finds my eyes. "You know, I was going to stay with Teddy tonight because I didn't want to come home to you. I didn't want to come home to some sort of accusation or another fight. I just…I don't know what is going on with you, but it's pushing me away. It really is."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." I drop my gaze. "I didn't realize."

"No, you never do lately." She laughs. "I just…maybe you should go home. Maybe you should take a few days to figure this out with your sister and I'll stay out of your way. I'll leave you alone."

"I-I don't want that." I furrow my brow. "I don't want to live my life without you."

"I don't know what else we are supposed to do, though." She shrugs. "This can't go on. It really can't. It's wearing me down and I don't want to be like this. I don't want this kind of relationship with you. I'm supposed to be happy right now. Happy and in love, but this feels totally one-sided."

"Please don't do this." My own emotions getting the better of me, I step a little closer to her and she doesn't move. She doesn't even make an attempt to touch me or accept _my_ touch. "Arizona, I'm so sorry." Pulling her into my body, I wrap my arms around her and she gives me some sort of half hug.

"I just wanted to celebrate." She whimpers. "I just wanted one night that we could share together and enjoy it. But I can't even get that. I can't get _anything_ where you are concerned lately."

"Let me try again…" I pull back and study her face. "Please, let me try again and make this right. If I have to beg, I will."

"You promised me you would try harder. You have just promised me the most amazing night when we get home, and now this...now you are questioning whether I knew if it was you I was dancing with. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, Eliza. I _can't_ tell you again. I'm tired of repeating myself."

"I know you know it was me." I smile as I run my thumb across her cheek. "I just…she said something and I really didn't want to bring it up. I didn't want to tell you."

"So, because she said something to you…you are taking it out on me?" She pulls back and furrows her brow. "What did she say?"

"That every woman who has read your book feels like they have your hands on them." I know it's pathetic and I know it's irrelevant, but it came from Maddie so it's been playing on my mind.

"Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now?" She pushes past me and a laugh rumbles in her throat. "You aren't serious, are you? Do you want me to stop writing? Get some shitty nine to five job because you are insecure?"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. Don't you think I know that it's stupid?" I approach her. "Don't you think that I know how fucking lucky I am to have you in my life? In my bed? Our bed."

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it." She fixes herself up in the mirror and heads for the door. "I'm not doing this with you anymore." She shakes her head. "This _is_ my night. This is _my_ celebration. Be here, or don't." Disappearing from the space we have been sharing, I drop my head on my shoulders and sigh. I can't do anything right lately and it's all my own fault. If Maddie could just get out of my life it would make things so much easier, but regardless of whether she is here or not, I shouldn't be acting this way. My behavior shouldn't be directed towards Arizona. I'm just a complete failure where my entire life is concerned right now.

* * *

I thought about heading home, but I couldn't. I don't want to go home alone with the possibility that Arizona won't return tonight. I just can't do it. So I'm sitting at the bar and giving her the space she needs and deserves. My sister is flaunting herself about with anyone who will look at her, and honestly, she makes me sick. She actually makes me feel nauseous. I don't know why I have so much hate for her, but it's becoming unbearable. It's becoming too much, and my girlfriend has just confirmed that.

Glancing around, I find her dancing with Teddy and she looks happy. She looks happy without me around her. It hurts to see her laughing with everyone other than me, but I only have myself to blame. I can't keep doing this to myself or to us. I can't keep allowing my mood to affect how amazing we are. Because we are, we are incredible together. I feel like I should take a step back from Arizona's life, but I know that it will only make us more distant than we already are. I don't want distance from her, I want to be closer. I want to be so much closer than we are right now. "Seems like someone is sleeping on the couch tonight." My sister's voice piercing through my thoughts, I clench my jaw and turn in my seat.

"Excuse me?"

"She's pissed, right?" Maddie pulls herself up on a stool beside me and crosses her legs. "Well, she seems it, anyway."

"Why are you here?" I sigh. "No more smart ass comments, just why?"

"I have the night off." She shrugs. "I'm sorry if I've ruined your night."

"No, you're not." I scoff. "When have you ever been sorry about anything?"

"Eliza, I know you hate me, but I don't know how I'm supposed to change that."

"You can't," I state. "What you can do, though, is leave me alone and get out of my life."

"Can we not ever try to be friends? I mean, you're my sister and I love you. Can we not try?"

"I'd love to try, but I can't trust you."

"I made a mistake when we were in college, and I accept that...but you can't hold it against me forever. I know you want to, but you can't."

"I don't know what you want from me," I reply, my head pounding. "I don't know why you have come to New York. I don't know why you have to make little comments about me or my relationship. I just…can you not let me get on with my life without trying to make me feel completely shit?"

"I'm sorry, Lize." She drops her gaze and I actually feel like she may feel a little guilty. "You are just so easy to piss off. I know I shouldn't, and I know I've hurt you, but I'll stop, okay?"

"You think this is funny?" I ask, incredulously. "My relationship is on the line right now because of how you make me feel and you think it's funny?"

"I'm sorry." She climbs down from her stool. "I just…I'll leave, okay?"

"Do what you want. I don't care." Grabbing my purse, I push past her and she grips my wrist. "Get off of me, Maddie."

"Eliza, I'm sorry." Unshed tears in her eyes, I furrow my brow in complete confusion. How can she feel so guilty now but only ten minutes ago she was encouraging me to hate her? I don't understand. "If you want me to leave New York, I will. I just figured maybe we could try and have some sort of relationship but I've already messed that up."

"Yeah, you have." I give her a sad smile. "Same old you, though, huh?" Leaving my sister to sit and think about her actions, I approach my girlfriend and she is looking a little happy drunk right now. "I'm leaving." I lean in and place a kiss below her ear.

"Thought you already had." She shrugs. _Okay, I deserve that._ But I'm not even going to make a comment about it.

"Enjoy the rest of your night." I sigh. "I'm sorry I ruined it."

"Are you trusting me to be in the same club as your sister?" She laughs. "That's brave of you."

"I'm not fighting with you." I hold up my hands. "If you come home, awesome…if you don't, I only have myself to blame. Just…I love you. Goodnight." Stepping out of the bar, tears slip down my face but right now I don't care. I don't care who sees me and I don't care for the rest of this night. I just want to go to bed and wake up feeling different tomorrow.

I want to wake up with Arizona by my side, but something tells me that it won't be that way. It's never been about not trusting her. It's always been about Maddie. Maybe my sister will leave like she suggested, but I'll believe that when I see it. I'll believe that when she has disappeared and I no longer have to worry about her being around. Right now, though, my relationship isn't in a good place and I'm not sure I can fix it. I'm not sure I can make this up to Arizona. She hates what we are right now, and yeah…I do, too.

* * *

Pulling a blanket over me on my cold leather couch, the fire is lit and I'm seriously thinking over the entire night. I didn't know Arizona felt that way about us. I didn't know how bad it had gotten. I should have seen it. I should have noticed how my girlfriend was feeling, and it only makes me wonder if I'm even good enough for her. I mean, who doesn't notice when their significant other isn't happy? Who tries to make things better and only ends up making it so much worse? Me…that's who. It's probably why I've never lasted in my relationships. This is different with Arizona, though. I've never felt so in love in my entire life. I've never felt so connected to another person to the point where I can't breathe when she isn't around. It's how I'm feeling right now. She is out there laughing with her friends because she cannot bear to be around me. She is undecided about coming home because she doesn't know what mood I'll be in. She deserves so much more than this. She deserves so much more than me. _We are so good together, though._

Maybe I should go to a hotel. Maybe I should give her the space I believe she needs from me and do the right thing. She shouldn't have to crash on someone else's couch. She shouldn't have to worry about coming home to me so yeah…I should leave. I should find a hotel and wait for her to decide what we are. I mean, I want to try and I want to make this better for us, but I don't know how. I don't know how to be what she needs because this isn't about her. At least, it's not supposed to be. She is perfect and she is amazing. This is about Maddie, and this is about me. Arizona should never have been brought into this. She should never have felt how she is feeling. I never meant for it to get like this. I really didn't. I don't want her to feel like she doesn't matter in our relationship or like I don't love her. I want her to know how loved she is and how incredible she is. I want to be happy and that's all there is to it. My cell buzzing on the coffee table, my tired eyes glance down at the screen and my heart breaks.

 ** _Can I come home?_**

She's actually asking me if she can come home. I mean, am I so much of a bitch that she actually has to ask me? Of course, I want her to come home. Of course, I want to sleep in her arms. If she's drunk and I have to hold her hair back, I can totally do that. So long as she is here with me, I don't care.

 ** _Of course, you can. Do you need me to come and get you? Xx_**

 ** _No, I'll walk._**

Okay so she is a little off with me but that is expected. It's expected because for the past few days, I've messed up time and time again. It's like I can't help myself. It's like I've turned into my sister. _I don't ever want to be anything like her. I can't._ It would kill me to ever be compared to her, so no…I cannot turn into her. Deciding that I need to do something about this, about us, I climb from my couch and take my laptop from the table by the window.

I don't even know what I'm doing, but I have to do something. I have to fix us before I completely push her away. I may be too late, though. I just hope that I'm not. I just hope that _that_ isn't the case. It can't be. We can't end because I'm a moody bitch who doesn't know how good she has it. Hell will freeze over before my relationship with Arizona ends.

The sound of a key turning in the lock of the front door, my heart sinks into my chest and I close the lid of my laptop. _We need to talk._ Everything else can wait until tomorrow. Hearing a slight stumbling, I think about getting to my feet but Arizona appears in the doorway and I glance her way. "I'm going to bed." She mumbles.

"Please don't." I stand, unsure of whether I should move any closer to her. "Can we talk?"

"No." She shakes her head. "What's the point?"

"Because I love you…" I tilt my head a little and give her a sad smile. "Because the thought of losing you terrifies me."

"You didn't know I was even mad at you until tonight so you clearly have things _other_ than me on your mind." Kicking off her heels, she moves into the living room before heading for the kitchen.

"But you are the most important thing on my mind, Arizona." Approaching her, she leans back against the kitchen counter and her eyes look a little glazed right now. Maybe we should wait until the morning to talk, but I won't sleep tonight if I don't apologize now. "Please? I need to fix this."

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "You will only go back on your word again…"

"I won't."

"You've said that before." She scoffs. "You know, I spoke with Maddie before and she's actually not that bad." _Great, it's back to her again._ "She kept apologizing for what she had done."

"Sure."

"I explained that I didn't need an apology. I explained that it was you who she had hurt. But then I thought about it, and I realized that she hasn't actually done anything since she arrived here. She hasn't tried to get into my pants. Your bed. Whatever it is you seem to think she is trying to do. She is simply trying to make amends with you."

"Arizona…" I breathe out. "I don't care about her right now. I only care about you. Us."

"Well, you should." She states. "You should care about her because she is your sister. Your twin. You think that she is here to try and ruin your life, but she's not. You are both just so freaking stubborn and you are both as bad as each other. You won't let her in, so she retaliates. You won't give her five minutes of your time, so instead…she pisses you off to get your attention. Don't you see that she will take anything she can get right now."

"You've no idea why she is here…"

"And neither do you!" She yells. "If you gave the girl five minutes of your fucking time, you may know. She may open up to you and apologize and try to be a better sister. I may be wrong, but don't you think you should at least try?"

"No, I don't," I state. "I don't think I should try because she has done nothing to show me that she loves me. She's done nothing to show me that she is here to be my sister. All she wants is to fuck about and mess with my head. I know that because I know her. You don't."

"No, I don't." She agrees. "I don't know what it's like for my twin to turn up at my door and fuck about with me. I don't know what it's like for my twin to try and steal the women from me. I don't know because my twin is fucking dead." Her body trembling, I instantly regret my words. "Do you have any idea what I would give for Tim to turn up here? Do you have any idea what I would give for him to try to ruin my relationships and crash on my couch? You have a chance to fix this. You have a chance to allow your sister back into your life. In my opinion, you would be a fool not to try. You would be a complete fucking moron if you continued to push her away."

"Arizona, I-"

"I know that this isn't about us. I know that deep down you love me and you trust me. I just…I can't do this whilst you are fighting with her. I'd give the absolute world to fight with Tim and push him away. I would give anything to see his smile when I open the door. You just don't realize what you have, Eliza. She may have broken your heart a million years ago, but she's still here. She's still alive. Do the right thing and be the better person. Do the right thing and give her a chance. If you don't, you will regret it one day. Whether it is when you are old in your bed, or ten years down the line, you will probably one day receive the call I did, and it will be too late. It will be too late to fix things with her and no matter how bad it got between you guys…none of it will be as bad as the pain you feel when those words are spoken to you down the phone. None of it will feel as bad as knowing you've lost someone forever."

My heart breaking with every word she says, she steps closer to me and drops her gaze. "The sooner you fix things with Maddie, the sooner we can be good again. I just can't do this mood, Eliza. Not when it is completely unnecessary."

"I don't know how to be her sister anymore," I admit.

"You'll figure it out." My girlfriend sighs. "Just try, Eliza. It may be the best decision you ever made." _Maybe she's right. Maybe I do need to make amends with Maddie._ "I'm taking myself to bed."

"Can I come, too?"

"I'll always want you beside me." She runs her fingers through her hair. "Please, fix this. If you can't do it for yourself, at least try for me?"

"Okay." I nod. "But I need to concentrate on us right now."

"Yeah, you do." Her voice breaking, she disappears from in front of me and my heart pounds in my chest. I know I need to fix us. I know I need to figure everything out in order for it all to fall into place, but I'm genuinely worried right now. I've hurt my girlfriend in more ways than one, and I'm not sure how we are supposed to get back to that good place.

Climbing the stairs, Arizona is in the bathroom going through her routine right now. I'll give her a few minutes to prepare for bed and then I'm going in there. She isn't as drunk as I thought she would be, but she's definitely not sober. Slipping under the covers, I settle down on my back and wait for my girlfriend to come to bed. The sound of the bathroom door opening, Arizona appears in nothing but her underwear and I have to remember that right now isn't an appropriate time to drag her beneath me. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine." She climbs in beside me and turns her back on me, the light switching off as she does. "I just need to sleep."

"C-Can I hold you?" I stutter.

"If you want." She breathes out as she settles down.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her back against my body and she relaxes a little. I feel like I have so much to say to her, but I don't even know where to start. I'm not sure anything I say will be good enough for her right now. "I love you." Pressing a kiss below her ear, I hear a slight sniffle from her and it breaks my heart. "Please don't cry," I whisper against her neck. "I love you, Arizona and I'm so sorry if you thought otherwise. You will always mean the world to me. I just…I'm sorry I've taken this all out on you."

"I know you are." She places her hand over my own. "Just…sleep, okay? Tomorrow is another day."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Forty

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to find my girlfriend's arms wrapped tightly around me, I glance over my shoulder and she is still sleeping. I'm feeling a little bad for how I spoke to her last night but I can't take this any longer. I can't bear the brunt of her mood anymore. I'm not the bad guy. I've done nothing wrong, but every time I open my mouth, I feel like I'm about to be told off or accused of something that would never in a million years happen. I mean, her sister offered to buy me a drink last night and I had to turn it down. I had to because I could feel Eliza's eyes burning through me the longer I stood anywhere near Maddie. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do in all of this. Do I ignore her sister and act like she doesn't exist? Because I can't. That's not who I am. I was raised to be friendly and respectful. I was raised to have manners and never judge. I know Maddie has hurt my girlfriend, but that doesn't have anything to do with me. I can't just completely ignore her and hope that she goes away. It's just not who I am. Deciding not to think about it too much just yet, I try to slip out from Eliza's arms but her grip tightens. "Please don't leave."

"I need some water," I reply. "My head is pounding." Her grip loosening, I climb from our bed and slip my robe over my shoulders. "Did you want some coffee?"

"No." She pulls the cover up her body a little more and closes her eyes. "I just want us to be okay."

"Please…" I breathe out. "Not right now." Shaking my head, I move towards the bedroom door and glance back at my girlfriend. I feel like everything is completely up in the air right now, but I need some sort of relief for this headache before I even discuss what we are doing with our relationship. I need coffee and I need to wake up before we have any sort of conversation. I don't feel as bad as I thought I would, and that's kinda lucky considering how much I drank last night, but this headache has nothing to do with alcohol. This headache is solely based on my relationship alone.

Taking the stairs slowly, I roll my head on my shoulders and I'm feeling pretty tense right now. I have so much going on in my head that I don't even know what day it is. I want us to be okay and I want things to go back to how they were, but everything I said to Eliza last night was true. I do feel like she is falling out of love with me. I don't know why, but it's how I feel. Everything revolves around her sister right now and even though I want them to work through things, I can't do this if I'm just an afterthought. I can't be in this with her if there is nothing exciting to come home to. If there is no conversation. No happiness. No laughter. I know I'm supposed to support her, but I've tried. I've tried, and it's been thrown back in my face time and time again. I know she is struggling and she is hurting, but so am I. I'm hurting for how she has treated me lately, and I don't want it to be like this. I'd understand if I'd done something wrong, but I haven't. I haven't stepped one foot out of place in our relationship. She knows that, but she still insists on bringing her sister into our relationship.

Pouring a strong coffee, I sweeten it a little and grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Pulling myself up on a kitchen stool, I take some medication to help with my headache and drop my head into my hands. "Arizona?" Eliza's voice soft, I close my eyes and rub at my temple. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"What's up?" I sigh.

"I can't lose you." Her voice breaking, I pinch the bridge of my nose and run my hand over my face before glancing up at her. "I can't."

"I don't know what you want from me, Eliza." We have to be honest with each other if we have any chance of fixing this. "I haven't done anything wrong, but you just can't stop with the comments or the accusations."

"I haven't accused you of anything…" She steps into the kitchen but keeps her distance.

"You asked me to come home to you last night." I scoff. "Then you tried to say that I didn't know who I was dancing with. You may not have actually said the words, but it's all the same however you go about it."

"Can we concentrate on us instead of my sister?" She asks.

"Your sister is the reason why we are having problems." I give her a knowing look. "Don't you see that?"

"I do, but I just need you, Arizona. I just need us to be okay." A tear slipping down her face, she wipes it away and closes her eyes. "I understand that you want me to try with her, but I have to try with you first. This isn't me. It's not who I am. I'm not a jealous person. I don't care who you hang out with. I just need to tell you that I'm sorry and be with you."

"My night was ruined…" I sigh, my eyes fixed on my coffee cup. "I don't even know what we are right now."

"I-I…" Her brow furrowed, she moves closer to me and shakes her head. "No, we are what we've always been. We are in love. We are together. You have to see that."

"It's not about what I see." I give her a sad smile. "It's about how I feel."

"And how do you feel?" She asks, settling down on a stool beside me.

"Like I'm in this alone right now," I admit. "Like we have taken a back seat."

"That's not true." She takes my hand in her own. "Please, you have to believe that I love you. I love you more now than I ever have."

"I just don't feel it, Eliza."

"So, what do we do?" She cries. "Are you just going to leave me?"

"No." I shake my head. "But I don't know what we are supposed to do. I don't want you to promise me that you will try harder because you keep breaking that promise. I just…I think maybe you need to take some time to figure all of this out. Talk to Maddie, or don't. But you need to fix yourself."

"No." She furrows her brow. "I was fine before she turned up at our door."

"I know, but look at us now?" I scoff. "We are a mess."

"Because of her." She gives me a knowing look. "I told you this would happen. I told you I was worried about her being here. You just wouldn't listen to me. You wouldn't see it from my perspective. She is bad news, Arizona."

"I don't want to hear any more about her." I hold up my hand. "I really don't. We talk about her more than we do about anything else."

"Let me make it up to you tonight?" A pleading in her eyes, I give her a sad smile.

"You're working."

"I won't go." She shrugs. "You are more important than my job."

"You can't just not go, Eliza."

"Watch me." She scoffs. "Tonight I'm taking you out. Not with anyone else. Not with the world and anyone else who wants to join. Just us. You and I. I need this with you and I need you to need it, too." _That would be nice._ I think we have shared one night out together since we met, so a night out alone would be good. It would be different. "Please?"

"Okay." I nod. "I'd like that."

"Yeah?" Her lip trembling, it breaks my heart to see us both like this. Me terrified that she no longer loves me, and her terrified that I'm going to leave her. I don't want us to be like this. We are so much better than all of this. We are so much better than the comments and the accusations. The fighting and the hurtful words. So much better. "Y-You'll come?"

"I will." I smile. "Just…stop worrying, okay?"

"I can't." She sobs. "I know I'm going to lose you and I cannot live without you, Arizona."

"You're not going to lose me." I pull her into a hug. "You just need to concentrate on what's important and be honest with me. Be honest, but don't accuse. Be honest, but don't take it out on me."

"I'm so sorry." She buries her head in the crook of my neck. "I love you and I'm so sorry."

* * *

"Dinner was amazing, thank you." Pressing a kiss below my girlfriend's ear, she smiles and places her hand on the small of my back as she guides me out of the restaurant. Tonight has been pretty amazing so far, and Eliza is really trying to make me feel special tonight. It's not something I want all of the time, but yeah…it's nice having her attention totally and completely on me. It's more than nice. It's amazing. Don't get me wrong, she makes me feel special in some way every day, but that has disappeared lately. I'd wondered if I was overreacting, but I know I'm not. I know that this feeling I have about us is real, and we have to fix it before we push each other away. Before our relationship ends around us. I love her too much to watch this crumble. I love her too much to allow distance to settle between us and before we know it, we are barely holding a conversation.

"Thank you for agreeing to this tonight." Her arm wrapping around my waist, we head off down the street and the cool evening air feels kinda good right now. It's refreshing. "Did you want to head to a club?"

"If you like." I shrug. "Just being like this right now is good enough for me."

"Maybe we could take a walk?" She suggests. "Or...I don't know." She gives me a sad smile. "I don't really usually do this kind of stuff."

"What stuff?" I furrow my brow.

"Restaurants and clubs. Wooing."

"Really?" I wrinkle my nose. "That sucks." I take her hand in my own and pull her a little closer to me. "You're doing a pretty good job." I try to reassure her. "Better than I've ever had, anyway."

"You're just saying that." She rolls her eyes playfully. "I know I'm terrible at this. I just…I'm better at other things."

"Oh yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "And what _other things_ are those?"

"You know, dinner at home. Cuddles. Snuggles. Movie nights." Yeah, she is pretty amazing at that stuff. "Fixing you a bath. Just…the boring stuff."

"It's not boring." I tighten my grip on her hand.

"Yeah…it is." She gives me a sad smile. "I could see how much fun you were having last night. I could see that spark as you danced with your friends. I don't offer that stuff to you, and you were so happy last night. You were happy before I arrived, and you were happy when I left." My heart breaking at her admission, I can feel that lump forming in my throat. _She makes me happier than any of that._ "I'm sorry if I can't be what you want, Arizona. What you need. I just figured we were doing good. You know, how we were."

"We are doing good," I reply. "We have been amazing. It's just gone wrong somewhere along the way and I want to fix it. I want us to be okay."

"I know this night is about us, and I know you don't want to hear about her…but I am sorry for putting it all on you. It won't happen again. I promise. No more talk of anything other than us."

"Eliza, that isn't what I meant." I stop across the street from our home. "I just want it to be about us a little more than it has been lately." Pulling her body against my own, my hand comes to rest on her hip. "You know that I love and support you. You know that I'll always want to help you through things. I just can't be the one who takes the full force of it, baby." A tear slipping down her face, I wipe it away and lean in, my lips pressing against her own. "Don't ever think that you can't talk to me. I'm sorry if that's how it came across…it really isn't like that. I just wanted a night that was totally about us."

"I want that, too." She gives me a small smile. "Can I take you home?" She asks. "Can I take you home and be us?"

"You can." I nod, a smile creeping onto my face. "I will always want it to be us."

"Are you sure?" She asks. "Are you sure I'm doing enough in this relationship? I don't want you to be unhappy, Arizona. I don't ever want that for you…"

"Take me home, Eliza." Giving her a knowing look, her smile widens and she pulls me across the street. Only minutes later, she is slipping her key into the lock and I'm actually happy to be inside. At home. _Thank god, nobody interrupted our night._ I'm not sure I could have taken that. Tonight has been everything I wanted, and everything we usually are. We needed this. I needed this.

* * *

We've been home for a little over an hour and there is a comfortable silence between us right now. It's nice having her here with me on a Saturday evening, but I have to remember that I cannot get used to it. This won't become a common occurrence, I know that, but I can enjoy it while it lasts. I can enjoy having my girlfriend beside me, her arm wrapped around me…just for a little while longer. Turning my body a little, I curl up beside her and her hand rests on my ass. "You tired?" She asks.

"No, I'm okay." I glance up at her and she places a kiss on my forehead. "This feels so good." I smile.

"I know." She agrees. "I love you, Arizona."

"I know you do. I love you, too."

"No, I mean I really love you." She sits up a little and glances down at me. "So much that I've unintentionally pushed you away because of my own fears. I'm so sorry, Arizona. I just want this. How we are right now. How we always spend our evenings. I just want you and that is all I will ever need."

"I know you're hurting…" I sit up and take her hands in my own. "And I'm sorry for how I spoke to you last night."

"No, I totally deserved it…and you're right." She drops her gaze. "I just need some time alone with you before I even think about tackling anything else."

"Okay."

"I've neglected you and I've pissed you off more than once these past few days, so for now…I need to concentrate on us. If you can just give me a chance to concentrate on us, the rest will fall into place, okay?"

"I want you to concentrate on us." I agree. "Regardless of what happens, we will still be us at the end of it, so yeah…we have to stick together through all of this. We have to be like this at the end of whatever decision you make."

"I could so do this more often." She sighs as she shifts my body on the couch and slips her thigh between my legs. "Saturday nights. Like this. Nobody around. No work. No sitting alone for you. No waiting for me to come home."

"It would be nice, but every other day is good enough, Eliza. I told you when we met that I was okay with your job. Your schedule. I still am…"

"I know, but weekends should be spent like this." She gives me a sad smile before pressing her lips to my own. "Weekends _should_ be like this." I'd love her to be here with me on weekends, but I'm not about to get my hopes up. She is the best the club has, and I'm proud of her for how in demand she is. I'm proud of everything she is.

"Just shut up and kiss me, Eliza." Pulling her down against me, she smiles against my mouth and a low moan rumbles in my throat. This is how I want us to be. I want us locked away with no worries. I want us to make out on the couch before we climb the stairs for a night of lovemaking. _It's all I've wanted this week._ Pulling back, she studies my face and runs her thumb across my lip.

"I want to take you to bed." Her words barely above a whisper, she slips her hand up my dress and ghosts her fingers over the sensitive skin of my thigh. "No dancing on you. No controlling you. Just you and I, Arizona." Her lips ghosting over my own, her breath washes over my face and my body responds to her for the first time in days. The stress has totally left my entire being, and yeah…we are so ready to reconnect. "No dirty hot sex…just love." She smiles as her eyes bore into my soul. "Love…and my hands worshipping your body."

"God…" I breathe out, my eyes closing and my heart pounding in my chest, I'm feeling nothing but complete love from her right now. How it's always felt. She just lost her way a little, and I'm beginning to understand that now. "It's all I want, Eliza."

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Forty-One

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ELIZA'S POV

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I hate how I've treated my girlfriend lately. I hate it so much. I'm not this person. I don't ever get scared that I'm going to lose anything. Then again, I've never had something that I love so much that I've ever worried about losing it. I mean, I've been in relationships that I've enjoyed and I've been a little pissed when they ended, but this? This is complete love. The kind of love I never imagined I'd ever have in my life. The love I didn't even dream about because I thought it couldn't possibly exist. I was so wrong, though. I was so wrong about everything my life has ever been. Arizona has given me the most perfect life imaginable, and what do I do? Speak to her like crap and accuse her of one day running off with someone else. She isn't about that. She wouldn't ever do that to me. I can see how much she loves me and I can feel it. I feel it so much that somedays I feel like my chest is being crushed. I feel like the day she disappears from my life…it will end. My life will end and I'll cease to exist.

She just consumes me. Every last part of me belongs to her, and I have her to thank for that. I've never been completely in like I am with her, and I never once thought I ever would be…but God, I'm so happy she came into my life. I'm so happy that she saw me outside of my job and my profession, and I'm so happy that she stuck it out with me. Nobody has ever done anything like that before, and nobody else ever will. Arizona Robbins is my absolute life and I have to make her happy. I have to be the one to say that she is mine forever. _I'd be a fool to allow anything else to get in the way of us._ "Are you coming?"

Her words startling me from my thoughts, I pop the cork on her bottle of champagne and approach the staircase. Tonight is all about her. Tonight is not only a celebration of her work achievements, but it's a celebration of us. Of our relationship. Our love. That heartstopping, spine-tingling love I feel whenever I look into those ocean blue eyes. Those eyes that have recently shown a world of hurt. A world of hurt caused by me.

Reaching our bedroom door, I slip inside and find my girlfriend sitting on the edge of the bed. She looks beautiful, but she also looks nervous. "Hey…" I smile. "I was just grabbing this…" Holding the bottle of champagne up between us, she gives me a small smile and drops her gaze. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah…" She clears her throat. "Just feels a little weird."

"I'm sorry I've made you feel that way." I set the bottle down and drop to my knees in front of her. "Please, look at me?"

Her eyes lifting a little, she has unshed tears in them and I furrow my brow. "I just…was it really just because of your mood when you blew me off the other night?"

"Baby, I'd never blow you off." I run my thumb across her cheek. "I was just having a bad night."

"It wasn't me?" She asks. "I didn't do anything wrong? Like, in the bedroom?"

"No." I shake my head. "You could never do anything wrong." I know she struggles with how she sees herself sometimes, and right now, I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Of course, she will think I didn't want to be with her like that. Of course, I've brought back her insecurities. "You are incredible inside and outside the bedroom, Arizona, and I'm so sorry if I led you to believe that you'd done anything wrong."

"I just figured I'd done something." She shrugs. "I mean, you are super hot and maybe you wanted that from me and I didn't deliver. I know I'm not as hot as you, but I try…I really do."

"God, no." I stand and pull her up to her feet. "You _are_ super hot and I'll always want you. Don't ever forget that."

"Promise?" She asks, her voice low and unsure. "Promise it wasn't anything I did."

"I promise." Lifting her dress up and over her head, her gorgeous blonde hair falls back around her shoulders and her eyes brighten a little. My girlfriend is the most beautiful woman I've ever come across, and I hate that she is doubting herself again. I hate that I've caused that. I feel awful right now, and I don't want this to ruin our night. I don't want her to hold back, and I don't want my own guilt to affect my concentration. I need to give her my all. I need to show her just how much I love her. "I love you, Arizona."

"I love you, too." She says with a little more certainty in her voice. Pushing her down onto the bed, she shifts back a little and I remove my own dress from my body. Smiling when she finds me totally naked underneath the material that is now on the floor, I climb onto the bed and come to rest between her legs.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Placing soft kisses along her jawline, I flick the clasp on the front of her bra and it falls from her shoulders. "You are so beautiful, Arizona. I'm not sure I even deserve you…" My knee settling between her legs, my tongue runs down between her breasts and she moans breathlessly beneath me. I've wanted this for so long with her, and it feels like it's been an entire lifetime since we were last intimate. "I'm so proud of you, and I love you." Gripping her hips, I shift back and pull her further down the bed. A gasp falling from her mouth at the unexpected change in position, I slip her panties over her thighs and she gives me an adorable smile.

"God, I've missed this…" She breathes out as her legs spread either side of my body. "I've missed you." Her fingers grazing the back of my scalp, she pulls me down against her and crushes her lips into my own. I would kiss her forever given half the chance, and right now...I never want it to end. Her tongue slipping into my mouth, she toys with my own and it sends the most intense sensations through my body. Straight to my core. Running it up the roof of my mouth, she swallows the low moan I release and I roll my hips into her. Our centers connecting, she pulls back and gasps. "Do that again." She demands. Rolling my hips once more, my clit brushes against her own and her mouth falls open, her head burying deeper into the mattress beneath us. "So good." She whispers, her eyes fluttering closed.

Grabbing the bottle of champagne from the nightstand, I tilt it a little and it splashes over her gorgeous soft skin. Hissing when the cool liquid sends a shiver down her spine, she bites down on her bottom lip and smiles when I run my tongue up between her breasts. "Amazing…" I breathe out as I tilt the bottle once again and the liquid slips over her nipple. Sucking the bud into my mouth, her back arches from the bed and my tongue rolls over it.

"Mm…" Her eyes closed, her dimples are on full view for me right now. "I thought you didn't drink?" Her voice low and sultry, I simply shrug and lap up the champagne from her body.

"I'll drink anything from your body…" Crawling back towards the edge of the bed, I smirk when she lifts her hips from the bed. "May I?" I raise an eyebrow and she gives me a nod. Lowering the bottle a little, it spills out and coats her already soaked center. "Incredible…" I moan as I dip my head and take a long firm lick. "You taste…" Sucking her clit into my mouth, I release it with a pop and smile. "...to die for."

"Take me, Eliza." Her true self coming back, it makes me smile and she can have whatever she wants right now. I hate seeing her questioning herself and her personality. I hate seeing her unsure of how good she is for me. She is more than I ever could have hoped for, and I need her to know that. I need her to be the confident and the beautiful woman that she is. I know I'm the reason for her lack of confidence tonight, but I'm going to do everything I can to make this woman happy.

Climbing up her body, I press my lips to her own and she moans when she tastes the after effects of champagne mixed with her arousal. She's stunning. Simply beautiful. I could stare into her eyes all day and never tire. I could so spend my entire life breathing her in minute after minute. "I love you…" Brushing a few stray hairs from her face, my thumb grazes her cheek and her eyes close. "Don't ever question yourself, Arizona. Don't ever think that you've done something wrong. You are beautiful and I'm going to spend my life telling you that if I have to." Shifting a little, I brace myself on my left forearm above her body and ghost my fingertips down her stomach. "You mean more to me than anything in this world." My fingers meeting her arousal, a tear slips down her face and I kiss it away. "Don't cry, baby."

"I'm sorry." She whispers as I work her folds.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." I give her a sad smile. "You are perfect. You always have been." Pushing a single finger inside of her, her eyes close and her back arches off of our bed a little. "So perfect, Arizona." Pulling out, I add a second and she smiles into our kiss. "We will still be doing this in ten years. Twenty years, even."

"God, I hope so." She breathes against my mouth. "I never want to be without you." Thrusting a little deeper, a short gasp leaves her mouth and I know I'm giving her exactly what she needs right now. Reassurance. Not just for this moment, but about us. About everything that we are. Our relationship is on fire when we are good, and that is 99% percent of the time. It's okay to have 1% when things aren't great, but that 1% cannot be because I'm accusing her. It cannot be because of my own personal issues. Not when they aren't her problem. Not when has been amazing and an absolute godsend to me and my life. "Y-Yes…" Her breathing a little labored, I curl my fingers deep inside of her and her breath catches in her throat. "P-Perfect." She laces our fingers together and I don't let up.

I meant what I said to her before when I told her that tonight was just us. When I told her I wanted to make love to her, this is exactly how I imagined it. Don't get me wrong, I love the control and the hot sex we have most nights, but this isn't about any of that. It isn't needed. I mean, I guess it's never needed, but this right now is how it's supposed to be. Soft and loving. My attention totally on her for the first time all week. This is how it always should have been, but I let my own mind get in the way. I've learned from my mistakes, and I knew that when I felt that sinking feeling settled within me at the bar last night. When she told me that she didn't feel the love between us, I knew I had to fix this before it was too late.

I just want her. I just want us to have a happy life. One that we can both enjoy. One that we are totally involved in. One that brings us complete joy when we settle down together with each other of an evening. One where Arizona and I are nothing short of amazing. "Eliza, oh god…" Her stomach tightening, I draw soft circles against her clit and never let up with my thrusts. "I-I, oh god, yes." Her walls squeezing my fingers, her nails dig into my back and I bury my head in the crook of her neck. Her scent is intoxicating and I could stay like this with her forever. "Yes…" She groans. "So good." If I could bottle this moment, I totally would. I feel like we are okay. I feel like we have reconnected and we are ready to face a new day. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that we will wake together, and relax together, and just be together. What more could I ever ask for? "T-Thank you." My girlfriend whispers as she writhes beneath me and comes down from her high. "Thank you for listening to me and making me feel like I matter."

"You do matter, beautiful." My eyes finding her own, I study her face and run my thumb across her bottom lip. "You matter more than anything else."

"I know you love me." She admits. "I know you want me in your life."

"Yeah?" I give her a small smile.

"Yes…I just didn't feel it." She sighs. "Tonight, though…tonight is all I wanted. Just us together. Alone. Concentrating on us. So, thank you for doing that."

"You shouldn't have even had to ask me or tell me, though." I graze my fingertips across her collarbone and drop my gaze. "You've got me, Arizona. I messed up and I know that you worried, but I swear…I've never not loved you. I've never even thought about ever not being with you. I couldn't think about that…"

"So long as you're happy with me, I can allow you the space to think everything else over. I mean, if that's what you need."

"No." I shake my head. "I need you here with me. I need your help, but it's not going to consume me. I can't allow it to be that way anymore. It almost ruined us, and I can't be like that. I can't ever have to worry about us, no matter what else is going on in our lives…we have to be able to switch off and share dinner. Switch off and catch a movie. Switch off and just be."

"I love you." She pulls me down into a kiss and smiles against my mouth. "I love everything about you, and whatever you need…I'm here, okay?"

"I just need you right now." I smile as she flips our bodies. "You, and your gorgeous hands."

"You know I always want my hands on you." Pressing a soft kiss below my ear, she runs her tongue down the side of my neck and glances up at me. "I've missed you so much, Eliza. Everything that we are…is in this room right now. All that we need…is here."

 _I can never lose her. Never…._

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Forty-Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

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This week has been amazing. Eliza and I have totally fallen back into our old routine and I'm pretty sure we are happier now than we were before. Sure, I know she is still feeling bad but it's in the past. Right now is what matters. Right now, the present is the only thing that will ever matter. She hasn't spoken much about her sister, but I know that she is processing in her own way. She knows she can talk to me whenever she needs to, and I'm sure when the time comes, she will do exactly that. I just hope she doesn't think that she can talk freely with me about Maddie. I hope the things I said to her don't stop her from opening up if something is on her mind. I never meant that I didn't ever want to hear about it. I just needed a break from it. A break from the constant worry that she had. The constant anxiety she was experiencing whenever her sister was around. I understand that they don't get along and I understand that this is her decision, but I really do want them to try. Even if she has to say 'I told you so' at the end of it, I can live with that. I can live with being in the wrong. The bad guy. I can live with that so long as I know she tried. It's important that family stick together. It's important to be honest with each other and find some sort of middle ground. That's all I want for my girlfriend. I want her to have her sister in her life…problem free.

Maybe I'm expecting too much, I don't know. Maybe I'm getting too involved in her relationship with her sister and over the past few days, I've tried to take a step back from it all. You know, let her come to me kind of thing? I don't want her to think that I'm pressuring her. I mean, her sister doesn't really show any signs of leaving, so I guess there is no immediate rush for them to make amends. I guess there is no way for me to know when either of them is ready to move forward. So, I'll wait it out. I'll wait it out and take it from here.

Sipping on my coffee, I read over today's newspaper and wait for my girlfriend to arrive back from her meeting at work. I don't know what it is about and she hasn't said much about it, but I'm sure she will fill me in when she gets home. She texted me a little while ago to say that she was leaving the club, so I'm expecting her back any minute. Maybe her boss wants to discuss the arrival of Maddie with her, I don't know. Maybe he wants new stuff from her. I've tried not to think about it too much, but something she said to me last week has been playing on my mind. She brought up the fact that Saturday nights should be spent together. She knows I would love nothing more than to have her at home with me every night, but I know that can never happen. She loves dancing, and I love that she enjoys her job. Not many people can say they love what they do…the career they chose, but my girlfriend can and if she is happy, so am I.

The front door opening, I find a wet and cold Eliza rushing inside and I instantly drop down from the stool I've been sitting on. "Hey…" I approach her. "Raining much?"

"Ya think?" She breathes out, her hair stuck to her face. "I just need to change and then I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sure." I smile. "Coffee?"

"Coffee would be amazing…" She presses her lips to my own before rushing off up the staircase and towards the bedroom.

Heading back to the kitchen, I prepare a fresh pot of coffee and lean back against the counter. She seems…happy? Like, weird grin kind of happy. Maybe she's been given a pay rise, I don't know. Whatever it is, it's making her smile so it makes me smile, too. Her happiness is important to me and she's looking pretty good right now in that department. Preparing her coffee just how she likes it, I set her cup down on the coffee table and light the fire. She looks like she needs a cozy day, and since she isn't working at the coffee shop today, it could be ideal. Snuggled up and doing nothing. It's become my favorite thing to do lately, and if I don't stop it soon, there will be no series of books from me anytime in the near future.

"Hey…" Leaning over the back of the couch, Eliza places a kiss on top of my head and throws herself headfirst into the seat next to me.

"What's gotten into you?" I laugh as she tumbles over the back of the couch and her feet almost send her coffee cup to the floor.

"Nothing." She breathes out as she sits upright. "Just incredibly happy."

"Good to know," I smirk. "Anyone in particular responsible for this incredible happiness?"

"Oh, some super hot blonde with an ass that is to die for." _Okay, I really hope she is talking about me right now…_

"Yeah?" I narrow my eyes. "Should I be worried about this woman?"

"Terrified…" She smiles. "When she gets going it can be a little intense, but I can handle her." Climbing into my lap, she straddles my legs and my hands rest on her ass. "You should be careful, though."

"Oh, why is that?" I roll my eyes. "I'm sure I could take her…"

"Mm…" Pressing her lips against my own, she runs her tongue along my bottom lip and it sends a rush of arousal straight to my core. "Maybe I should just keep her a secret a little while longer…"

"Fine." I shrug as she stares intently. "Good day?"

"The best." She gives me another weird grin and I need to know what is going on. "Are you free this Saturday?"

"Yeah, why?" I furrow my brow.

"You have a date…"

"With who?" I ask.

"Me." _She got Saturday night off? How?_ "Are you free next Saturday, too?"

"What's going on?" I study her face and she gives me the most adorable smile I've ever seen. "Eliza?"

"So, I changed some things up at the club…like, the days I work."

"O…kay."

"I no longer work the Saturday shift." She shrugs. "I do have to work the Wednesday shift, but it means I get to spend most of the weekend with you, so I was hoping you wouldn't mind?"

"N-Not at all…" I shake my head, my smile widening. "You changed your shifts for me?"

"I'd change anything for you, Arizona." Running her thumb across my cheek, I lean into her touch. "I loved spending last weekend with you, and I want to do it more. I want to take you out and I want to do the stuff we wouldn't usually get to do. Even just lounging around is good enough for me. I just…I knew that I wanted my Saturdays to be with you…if you'll have me?"

"God, I'd love nothing more." Realising that today is Wednesday, it means that my girlfriend is working tonight. Usually, I'd be a little depressed at that thought but knowing I have the weekend with her means that I'm feeling okay right now. "Does your shift change begin tonight?"

"Unfortunately, yes." She gives me a sad smile. "It will work out better for us, though. I promise."

"I know it will." I agree. "Can we stay like this for the rest of the afternoon, though?"

"You got it." Her hands slipping up my tee, she lifts it up and over my head and throws it to the floor. "I shouldn't be too late. I think Wednesday's are pretty quiet."

"Mm…maybe you could continue your shift when you get home?" Raising my eyebrow, she leans in a little closer and presses her body against my own. "You know, give me a free show?"

"I'd love to." Her breath washing over my ear, she takes my earlobe between her teeth and tugs a little. "Naked, or?"

"Oh, I'll let you surprise me…"

* * *

Okay, so I've never been so excited for my girlfriend to return home as I am right now. I mean, she's promised me a dance tonight and there is no way I'm about to forget about that. How could I? How could I ever forget the opportunity to have my super hot girlfriend dancing and grinding on me? No…I couldn't. _I couldn't ever forget._ "Um…hello?"

Glancing to my right, I give my best friend a smile and she rolls her eyes. "What?" I laugh. "Why are you rolling your eyes at me?"

"Because you are thinking about having sex with your girlfriend whilst you are sitting next to me." She raises her eyebrow. "Kinda creepy, really."

"No, I'm not." I scoff. "I was just thinking…"

"About?" She narrows her eyes.

"Fine." I draw out. "I was totally thinking about my girlfriend. She just…she's promised me my own show tonight."

"O-Oh." Teddy almost spits out her wine. "I should go then before she gets home."

"She isn't going to walk in off the street naked, Teddy. I'm sure you're okay for a little while longer."

"Mm, I'm not so sure about that." She wrinkles her nose. "I wouldn't want to kill the mood when she walks in and sees me sitting here."

"You won't." I give her a sad smile. "She knows you are here and she wouldn't ever just expect you to leave because she was coming home. You are my best friend, Ted's. She likes you, okay?"

"Sure she does." She laughs. "I was the ultimate bitch to your girlfriend not so long ago. Why the hell would she like me?"

"Because she is very forgiving like that." I shrug. "I did tell you months ago that she was amazing…"

"Yeah, she certainly makes you happy, Arizona." Settling back against my couch, Teddy releases a slight sigh and I glance her way. "I want what you have…"

"And one day, you will," I state. "You can't rush this stuff, Ted's. It will happen when it happens."

"I know." She sighs. "Still, it would be nice."

"Maybe I could hook you up with her sister." I shrug. _Wait, no!_ "Actually, forget I said that."

"Why?"

"She is Eliza's twin and she is a dancer, too, so that would just be all kinds of weird."

"Yeah." She laughs. "That would be weird. Especially since you know that I used to pay Eliza to dance for me."

"Adria." I give her a knowing look.

"Right, yeah…sorry." Giving me an awkward smile, we both turn our attention the front door as it opens. "And that is my cue to leave." Standing, I pull my best friend into a hug and she wraps her arms around my waist. Glancing over her shoulder, I watch my girlfriend slowly head for the staircase and my brow furrows in confusion.

"Eliza?"

"Hey…" She breathes out, her eyes anywhere but on me. "Hi, Teddy. Don't leave because I'm here."

"Oh, no it's okay." She waves off my girlfriend's comment. Studying Eliza's body language, something is off. Something isn't right.

"Have another wine…I'm taking a shower." Disappearing upstairs, Teddy turns back to face me and shrugs. Giving me a knowing look, she moves back towards the coffee table and pours a fresh glass of wine.

"Can you give me a minute, Teddy?"

"Sure…but please, no sex whilst I'm sitting down here minding my own business."

"Behave yourself." I laugh. "I'll just be a couple of minutes, okay?" Taking the stairs slowly, I can hear some movement coming from behind our bedroom door and as I approach, I can hear my girlfriend muttering to herself. Pushing the door open, I give her my best smile and she slips her tee back over her body. "Hey…"

"H-Hi."

"You good up here?" I ask, closing the distance between us.

"Sure." She nods. "Just taking a shower."

"Should I get rid of Teddy?" I raise my eyebrow and she shakes her head. "You know, maybe I could join you in the shower before that little show you promised me?" Her eyes filled with unshed tears, I furrow my brow and step a little closer to her. "Hey, what's wrong?" Reaching out to her, she steps away from me and yeah, I'm a little hurt by that.

"Don't, Arizona…I just need to shower." She moves further away from me. "Go and spend the rest of the night with your friend."

"But I want to spend it with you…" I admit.

"For the show I promised?" She scoffs. "Seems it's all I'm good for, so why wouldn't you want that?"

"Excuse me?" My mouth drops open and I back away from her. "T-That isn't what I meant. I just…I missed you, is all."

"I'm sorry." She drops her gaze. "I just…not now, okay?"

"What's going on, Eliza?" I'm a little concerned about her right now, but she is giving me nothing. "Please, talk to me…"

"Just something and nothing at the club." _I don't like the sound of that._ I don't like any of this. "I'll be okay…I just need to sleep."

"I need you to tell me what happened." Taking her hand in my own, I pull her towards the edge of the bed and she sits down beside me. Narrowing my eyes, I focus on a mark to the side of her jaw and my heart sinks into my stomach. "W-What, I mean…you have a bruise on your jaw."

"Oh." She lifts her hand and presses the spot. "Yeah…"

"Eliza…" My own emotions now getting the better of me, I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling that someone has hurt my girlfriend. The love of my life. "Baby, please talk to me…"

"He just got a little handsy. Full on." She stares at the floor, her shoulders slumped. "I didn't do or say anything that would give him the opportunity to be like that. He just…"

"No." I shake my head, tears falling freely down my face. "Please, no."

"He grabbed me a few times and said some not nice things, but I punched him." Glancing down at my girlfriend's gorgeous hands, her right one has bruising and swelling to her knuckles. "I mean, he said I wanted him. I don't even know him. I've never danced for him before."

"Eliza, did he…I mean, d-did he…" Bile rising in my throat, I cannot even bring myself to ask her the question I desperately need the answer to.

"No." She glances up at me and her eyes are breaking my heart right now. "I just…can you help me get cleaned up?"

"Cleaned up?" I ask, my brow furrowed. Her tee lifting up and over her head, she stands and turns her back on me. Crescent-shaped open wounds either side of her lower back, I have to hold back my tears. I have to hold back the complete disgust I have for the man who has just done this to my girlfriend. My Eliza. The gorgeous woman I'm going to spend my life with. The beautiful woman I would never lay a finger on. "Oh god…" Shaking my head, she turns to face me and her own tears are slipping down her face.

"Y-You don't have to." She says, her voice barely audible. "I can do it myself." Disappearing from in front of me, I've never felt so saddened in all of my life. She was happy. She was loving everything life has to offer. Now, this? Someone has done this to her and I cannot even begin to understand why. "I just…" Turning back to face me, she shakes her head and drops her gaze. "I didn't want him to do this, Arizona. He said I did, but I didn't. You have to believe me…"

Standing, I close the distance between us and curl my fingers beneath her chin. "Hey…" I lift her head a little, careful not to aggravate any area that may be hurting her right now. "Don't ever think that I would believe a word he said. I know you, and I love you…"

"But do you still love me now?" She shrugs. "I mean, he gripped me by the throat. He said I belonged to him just like I did last week."

"Last week?" I ask. "You said you hadn't ever seen him before."

"I haven't." She replies. "He said he was going to give me exactly what I wanted…just like last week. I don't even know what that means." She shakes her head. "He was okay at first, but once I told him no…he got really aggressive. Said he had paid good money for me."

"Oh, no." The realization hitting me, I have to get my girlfriend cleaned up, but I also have to get rid of my best friend. "I just…fix up a bath," I state. "Go to the bathroom and fix up a bath. I will be back in two minutes."

"You're leaving, aren't you?"

"No, baby." I run my thumb across her cheek. "I just have to get rid of Teddy. Please, just go to the bathroom and I will be in to help you in a few minutes."

"Promise?" She asks, her voice breaking.

"I love you, and I promise." Rushing off down the staircase, my heart pounds in my chest and I feel like I cant breathe. I feel like I'm about to kill someone, and I cant feel that way right now. I have to keep calm for Eliza. I have to be supportive and keep my emotions in check. That's going to be hard to do, though.

 _This is all my fault…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Hoping to get the next chapter out tonight if anyone wants it?**


	43. Chapter 43

*****TRIGGER WARNING - DISCUSSION OF ASSAULT/ATTACK*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Forty-Three

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ELIZA'S POV

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I've never felt so low in all of my life. The one place that made me feel good about myself…the one place where I felt like I belonged…the one place where I've worked my ass off, it's just…I feel nothing towards it right now. I feel nothing for anything. I'm cold and I'm aching. My entire body feels like it has been replaced by a corpse and I don't even know how to feel about anything that has just happened. Arizona was the only thing I thought of when he had his hands on me. When he dug his nails so deep into my skin that I bled, I had to focus on her. I had to focus on her face. Her warmth. Her love. If I didn't, I'd have crumbled and I'd probably be in a worse state than I am right now. I know exactly how it would have gone. I know exactly what he would have done to me. I couldn't let it happen, though. Even though I wanted to curl up into a ball…I couldn't. I had to fight him off and I had to save myself from any more hurt. He did…he hurt me. When his hand was gripping my jaw, I could feel his thumb pressing into the bone. I could feel it bending under his touch and I don't know how it didn't break. I don't know how he didn't cause more damage than he has. I know how to look after myself, but tonight? Tonight scared me. For the first time in my entire career, I genuinely feared for my life. For my body.

I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub in complete silence and Arizona is simply watching me. Every time she attempts to say something, she falls short of any words. Every time she looks at me, I feel like she is just that little bit more disgusted than the last time she glanced my way. I mean, she must be, right? She must be disgusted sitting her with me now. Dried blood down my back and bruising to my face. How can she not be completely disgusted with the person I am? I mean, I'm a dancer. A stripper. I probably deserved it. At least, that is what people will say. People will give me a false sympathetic smile and pretend like it's awful, but deep down, they will think that I brought this all on myself. They will think that I wanted it. Expected it. Wasn't bothered by it. Liked it, even. I didn't, though. I didn't like anything about the situation I was in a few hours ago. I don't like that his breath was all over me. I don't like how his hands were all over me. I didn't like any of it. "I'm sorry…" Figuring one of us has to break the silence, I glance up at her and she gives me a sad smile. "I am. I'm so sorry."

"You have no reason to be sorry." Reaching her hand out to me, I take it in my own and she runs her thumb over my bruised knuckles. "I just need to know if you are okay."

"I guess so." I shrug. "I don't really know how to feel about it right now."

"Is there anything else you need to say?" She asks. "Anything else that happened I should know about?"

"I don't think so." Standing, I slip my jeans from my legs and throw them to the corner of the room. "I guess I should get cleaned up, though." Turning back to face her, a sharp gasp falls from her mouth and I furrow my brow. Glancing down my body, I'm a little shocked myself. "I-I didn't know that was there." Deep purple fingerprints on both thighs, I trail my eyes further up my body and find scratches all over my stomach and chest. "I didn't know that had happened." I suspect the scratches may have happened seconds before I punched him, but I can't be sure. I literally went crazy on him when I knew what he was trying to do, so yeah…a lot of it is a blur.

"I-I…" Shaking her focus from my body, Arizona drops her head into her hands and her shoulders shake.

"Hey, I'm okay." Moving towards her, I place my hand on her shoulder and try to reassure her. I'd hug her, but I'm not sure she wants me anywhere near her. I couldn't blame her, though, if she didn't. I'd understand. Someone else had their hands on me tonight and not in the way that they usually do. I just...she may need time before she can be too close to me. "Arizona, you don't have to stay in here with me. I can do this myself."

"No." She lifts her gaze. "I'm here to do this with you, so come on…" Wiping the tears from her face, she tries to keep her eyes off of my body but I suspect that isn't as easy as she thought it would be. "...let's get you fixed up and into bed."

Stepping into the tub, I lower my body into the water and the heat makes the wounds on my back hurt a little. A sharp stinging sensation causing my eyes to close, I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face in them. I can hear my girlfriend grabbing whatever she needs, but her silence is making me feel a little uncomfortable right now. I don't want there to be no words between us. I don't want her to close down and go over all of this in her head alone. I need us to be okay. If we are ever going to move past this, then yeah…I need us to be okay. "Did you have a nice evening with Teddy?"

"Yeah." She replies.

"How is she doing?" I ask. "Has she met anyone yet?"

"No."

"I'm sure we can find someone between us who is good enough for her. Don't you have a friend?"

"Probably." Sponging my skin, the water feels good, but I wish this was happening for totally different reasons. I wish she wasn't in here helping me after an attack. "Does that hurt, or?"

"No, it's not so bad now." I glance over my shoulder and give her a sad smile. Her eyes focused on the marks she is cleaning, they're void. She has no emotion in her eyes whatsoever. Her jaw is clenched and I know she is mad. My girlfriend doesn't get angry very often, but I know that is one of the signs when she is. "Arizona?"

Nothing.

"Arizona?" Turning my head a little more, she has tears falling down her beautiful face and I'm not sure she is even in this room right now. I don't want to make her talk to me, but it would certainly help me to feel a little better right now. "Baby?" Her eyes shooting my way, she furrows her brow and I give her a sad smile. "Are you with me?"

"Of course. Yes." She clears her throat.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"You're asking _me_ if I'm okay?" She scoffs. "I was sitting at home drinking wine whilst you were being attacked. I think I'm the least important in all of this."

"No, don't do that." I give her a knowing look. "Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have done anything. I was at work. Why would you have been there to protect me? I spend two nights a week there and this has never happened."

"It doesn't matter." She shakes her head. "I still should have protected you."

"Please don't say that." Sitting back on her knees, she sighs and drops the sponge into the water.

"I think you're good to go." She smiles. "I'll leave you to do whatever else you need to do, okay?"

"If you want." I nod.

"I'll get you some meds…" Drying off her hands, she places a kiss on top of my head and steps out of the bathroom. I don't know why she feels bad about what happened. She could never have stopped this from happening. I still can't believe it happened myself. I'll give her a little time to let this all sink in. I'll give her a few minutes to herself to allow her anger to subside. I don't ever want her to feel bad about this.

* * *

Changed and now comfortable in some sweats, I pull my hair up into a messy bun on top of my head and approach the stairs. Arizona hasn't been back up to see me since she left me in the bathroom a little while ago and I'm worried. I'm worried about her, and I'm worried about us. I know she still loves me. She told me that. I just don't know how to be around her right now. I don't know what she does and doesn't want from me. I don't know if she even wants to share our bed with me right now. It's all things I need to ask, but I don't know how to. I mean, a few hours ago we were happy. We spent the afternoon making out on the couch and then we took it to the bedroom. Everything has changed now, though. Everything is different and I don't know where to begin with any of it.

Slowly descending the stairs, I toy with the cuff of my hoodie and head into the kitchen. A bottle of water set down beside some medication, I smile to myself and my eyes land on the large scotch siding with them. "It's to help you sleep." My girlfriend states as she glances over at me from the couch. The TV playing low, I close the distance between us and round the couch.

"Can I sit with you for a little while?"

"Of course, you can." She lifts the blanket beside her and I climb beside her.

"Arizona?" I glance her way and she is chewing on her lip. "Are we okay?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" She furrows her brow and places her hand on my own.

"I don't know." I sigh. "Just…I feel like something changed between us tonight and I don't know what. I mean, you don't even want to be around me and I get it, but I need to know what you want from me. Do you want me to back off or do you want me to stay someplace else? I just…I need you to tell me what to do."

"I don't want you to do anything." She runs her thumb over the back of my hand. "I'm just angry and I don't want you to be around that. You should be resting and I need to be alone while I work through this. My mood. My anger."

"So, you want me to go?" I sigh. "I'm sorry, I just...I'll leave you alone, okay?"

"No, that isn't what I mean." She grips my hand and I wince. "Sorry." She releases my hand from her grip. "I just mean that you need to rest. Relax. You don't need to worry about us or how I am. You are the one who was hurt tonight, Eliza. You are the only one that matters."

"But you matter too." I furrow my brow. "I need you, Arizona."

"And you have me." She gives me a genuine smile. "I just…I'm so mad right now." Gritting her teeth, she pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes. "I don't want my mood to affect you. You have enough going on right now."

"Something is on your mind." I narrow my eyes.

"Of course, something is on my mind." She agrees. "You've just been through a horrific ordeal. I'd be a heartless bitch if I didn't have things on my mind."

"Why did you blame yourself before?" I ask. "Why did you say what you did?"

"Just…it doesn't matter right now." She drops her gaze. "You are my priority and you are the only one who matters. Your health. Your wellbeing."

"The boss has given me some time off."

"Oh." She raises her eyebrow. "How kind of him. Maybe if he checked who he was allowing into his club, this wouldn't have happened."

"Arizona, this has been my job for what? Seven years…"

"So?"

"So, this has never happened before. I mean, I've had guys who literally drool watching, but I've never had anyone do what they did tonight. Not even close. This isn't anyone's fault except for that guy who hurt me tonight."

"I hate what he did." A vein in her neck becoming a little more defined, her nostrils flare and I take her hand in my own. "I just...I hate it. Knowing what he did to you. What he could have done to you…"

"I'm okay." I squeeze her hand. "I promise."

"Maybe, but I don't like it." She shakes her head. "Where is he now?"

"In a cell somewhere, I think."

"Thank god there are cameras in that room." She looks up to the sky and closes her eyes. "I just…are you okay, Eliza? I know you say you are, but it's just you and I here right now. You don't have to pretend around me. If you aren't okay, that's fine. You don't have to be okay. You can be mad and upset. Worried, or whatever."

"I just need to be with you." I smile. "I thought about sleeping in the guestroom tonight but I wanted to talk to you first. I mean, I don't know if you want to share a bed with me."

"What?" She furrows her brow. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know." I give her a slight shrug. "It's just a feeling I had."

"Come here…" She rests back on the couch and pulls me into her body gently. "I'll always want you next to me in bed. I'll always want to hold you and love you. I'm just struggling with my own decisions right now. I'm struggling with something and I know that this is all my fault."

"What is?" I glance up at her. "The attack?"

"Yeah, kind of." She gives me a slight nod. "He said he was with you last week?"

"Yeah." I agree. "Do you know him?"

"No, but someone else might…"

"Who?" I give her a look of confusion. I'm totally lost right now. I'd never seen that guy before and he definitely doesn't come to the club on weekends. I'm there every weekend and I've never seen him. Never.

"Think about it…" She wraps her arm around my shoulder and I shift my body until I'm curled up beside her. "Just think about it."

"Oh my god." I close my eyes. "No, this can't be happening. I just…"

"I know. You told me. You warned me." She holds up her hand. "I know this is my fault."

"No, this isn't your fault." I breathe out. "But yeah, I did tell you what a complete fucking bitch my sister is."

"It may not be true, but don't you think it's a little weird that she shows up and usually works the weeknight shifts? He thought you were her…"

"I was attacked because my sister is fucking her clients." It's more of a statement than a question. "And don't even dare say that we are the same because we're not." I sit up and give my girlfriend a knowing look. "She is just a whore and I'm sorry, Arizona but I'm done with her. I don't care what you have to say about it or how you feel about it…I'm more than done with her this time around." Standing, I head to the kitchen counter and grab the glass of scotch she poured for me a little while ago. Downing it in one, I shake my head and take the stairs fairly quickly. Pushing through the bedroom door, I climb into bed and wince as I lie on my back. _Fuck!_ I mean, I know my sister is one continuous fuck up, but this? Did she cause this? I don't even know how I feel about this or her right now. I know I hate her…I know that much.

Turning on my side, I stare out the window at the clear night sky and my tears fall fast and hard. I can't believe she would be so stupid. There is a reason we are not allowed a relationship with clients and my sister is that reason. The door opening, my girlfriend's scent hits me full force when she climbs into bed beside me. "Eliza?"

"I'm fine." I whimper. "You don't have to be here with me right now."

"C-Can I hold you?" She asks, worry in her voice.

"Please…" I breathe out. "Please hold me." Her arms wrapping around my waist, its a little more gentle than usual and I appreciate her consideration. She knows I'm in pain, even if I've told her that I'm not. She knows because I swear…sometimes she knows me better than I know myself. "I cant have a relationship with her now. Not after this."

"I know." She agrees. "I wouldn't expect you to." Placing a kiss on my shoulder, my body relaxes for the first time all night. "And I don't think that we are the same." She admits. "We are in love, Eliza. We always have been. She clearly enjoying sleeping around, and that is her decision, but no…we are not the same. I think she should leave New York."

"She won't." I sigh. "She doesn't care about anyone other than herself."

"I want her to come over here tomorrow…"

"Why?" I turn in her arms and her ocean blue eyes study my face. "I don't want her here."

"So, I'll meet up with her somewhere else then." She shrugs. "I'm meeting with her, Eliza. Don't even try to stop me."

"Her number is in my cell," I reply. "Just…please don't give her the benefit of the doubt."

"Oh, I won't." She scoffs. "She will be lucky if I don't kick her ass all around New York."

"I love you…"

"I love you, too." She leans in a little closer. I can see the hesitation in her eyes as to whether she should kiss me, but I need her. I need to feel her against me. I need her lips. Taking the lead, I press my own against hers and she grips my hoodie. I hate that she is worried about how to be around me, but we just have to communicate. We just have to do us and everyone else can actually go to hell. "I'm here for you, Eliza. Please…don't shut me out. I just need you to talk to me, okay? I just need you to be honest about how you are feeling. I don't want to hurt you or attempt anything you don't want right now...so, please…just be honest with me."

"Where the hell did you come from?" I smile as she runs her thumb across my cheek. "How did I ever end up with you by my side?"

"Just how it was supposed to be." She gives me her own smile. "I love you so much, Eliza. So much that it hurts. I hated seeing you like this tonight. I hated seeing what he did to you…but this isn't about me. This is about you, and whatever you need…just tell me and I'll do it, okay?"

"You are so unbelievably beautiful."

"No." She gives me a slight smile. "I just have so much love for you. You know, I'd move heaven and earth for you…don't ever think that I'm not here to support you. I'll always be by your side. I'll always be here and doing my best to make you happy. It's all you deserve. Pure happiness."

"You are my pure happiness, Arizona." I press my lips against her own. "You are all I need."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing this fic. It means a lot to me. I never expected this one to be so well received and I'm still shocked by your response whenever I upload.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Four

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to a dull New York sky, my body is still pressed firmly against my girlfriend's but my hate and anger are still there. My anger is still as strong as ever. I didn't sleep very well last night, but I think Eliza did. She hasn't moved much in her sleep, but I did enough of that for the both of us. Every hour I woke, and every hour I saw his face as he did what he did to her. I just…I'm really struggling with this right now. Maybe even more so than Eliza is. I know she is strong and I love that about her, but I fear that this will unravel at a later date and I won't know what to do when that happens. I need her to unravel now. When it's fresh. When I'm feeling the emotion, too. I need her to be honest with me and I need her to let go if she needs to. I don't care about her workouts or her dancing…I don't care about any of her routine right now. I just need her by my side. I even climbed out of bed at 4 am when I realized our alarm clock was set and switched it off. She isn't doing anything that she usually does today, and I have plans for us. I'm taking her away. I'm taking her away from the situation. I want her to unwind. I know we do that most evenings together, but my girlfriend is never truly settled. She is always working out or thinking about working out, and right now, that stops. It isn't important. Sure, if it helps to keep her mind clear then she is free to go hell for leather with her exercise, but if she is doing it for her job? No. It stops right now and it stops for the weekend away that I lay awake thinking about last night.

I think we need a break. We have both had a lot on lately and I think it would do us the world of good. Nobody but us. Nobody but our love and our attention on each other. When I imagine it in my head, it looks perfect…but I don't know if that will be the case. Eliza may not want to go away with me. She may want to get back to work and keep her routine going. I'll be hurt if she declines my offer of a break, but I guess I'll understand. It's no place special, but it would be just us. Eliza and I. Nobody around for miles. _God, I can see it now._ Us. The fire burning. Warm cozy nights. Good comfort food. Yeah, I can totally see it.

Slowly climbing from our bed, my girlfriend doesn't move and I'm kinda happy about that right now. It's already 9 am but she needs this rest. She had a shock last night, even if she doesn't realize it, so sleep is the best thing for her right now. Sleep and rest will always be the solution to most problems. We have all the time in the world to talk, and right now…this isn't that time. That time will be whilst we are away. Shrugging my robe on, I lean down and place a kiss below her ear. A slight groan from her, I smile to myself and leave her to sleep a little while longer. Pulling the cover up her body a little, she snuggles down a little better and my heart melts. She may be the super hot dancer, but here she is mine. Here, she is just Eliza...and god, I've never loved her so much. She is adorable and I'm the only one who sees her like this. I'm the only one who gets to experience this side of her. I wouldn't ever change that. Never.

Heading downstairs, I prepare some fresh coffee and take my girlfriend's cell from the kitchen counter. Making a note of Maddie's cell number, I lock the screen and set it back down in its place. Pulling the message tab up on my own cell, I hit the screen and send off a message to her sister.

 ** _Hey, it's Arizona. Can you come to our place?_**

 ** _Sure. What time? Mads x_**

 ** _Anytime. I'm free now._**

Surely she isn't going to fall for this. Surely she knows something happened to her sister at the club last night. They must be made aware of this kind of stuff.

 ** _No problem. Is Eliza home? Mads x_**

 ** _No._**

 ** _Okay, I'll be right there. Mads x_**

Really? Does she honestly think for one minute that I would go anywhere near her? Does she honestly think that I've asked her here for sex? I should have listened to my girlfriend. I should have taken what she said and gone with it.

 ** _What time is she due back? Mads x_**

My cell buzzing in my hand, I scoff and shake my head. She really is unbelievable. Like, are women really like this or am I just living in my own little bubble? Time to go along with this…

 ** _Not for a long time._**

 ** _Perfect. Xx_**

Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths, I try to calm myself because honestly, this isn't going to go well. I know I'm going to freak out, and I really don't want to. I really don't need this right now. I have to keep calm and say what I need to say. Then, she can leave and I hope to god we never see her again.

* * *

A light knocking on our front door, I approach it and unlock it. Pulling it open, I find a replica of my girlfriend standing before me and I still find it hard to believe they look so much alike. I mean, they are actually identical. I'm not sure I've ever seen two people look so alike. "Come on in." I smile and step aside. Brushing past me, she gives me a smile and it turns my stomach. I don't know how anyone can be so cruel to their own sister. Their own twin. I mean, I know I got her here under false pretenses, but I knew it would work. It speaks volumes about her really. It tells me that she is totally the person Eliza said she was, and it tells me I was a fool to ever even consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you." She turns to face me as she leans back against our kitchen counter. "I'm glad you contacted me."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah." She smiles. "I wanted to call you. Meet with you. I just…I couldn't be the one to instigate it. Eliza would have freaked if she found out about us. It's good to finally be alone with you."

"Us?" I furrow my brow.

"Yeah…I mean, you haven't asked me to come here to talk about the weather, Arizona. We both know the reason I'm here."

"And that is?"

"Well, why don't you come a little closer and I'll tell you?" Pushing off of the counter, she steps a little closer to me. "I've seen how you look at me. You can't help how you feel."

"Seriously?" A slight laugh falls from my mouth. "I just…I called you here to discuss something but you seem to have taken it the wrong way."

"You can tell yourself that, but we both know I'm not here to discuss anything. I'm not here to talk about anything whatsoever."

"I think my friend knows you…" I reply. "He was at the club last week. Got a little handsy with you and well...one thing led to another."

"Ah, John?" She asks. "He was hot."

"Yeah?" I wrinkle my nose. "Ya think?"

"Mmhmm...he got more than a little handsy." She leans in a little closer. "Don't tell Eliza, but we got very well acquainted."

"Yeah, he said." I smile. "He got a little grabby, right?"

"He did, but that's my kinda thing so I wasn't bothered." She shrugs. "You into that, Arizona? Threesomes?" _Wow, could anyone be less respectful of themselves?_

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "More of a one-woman kinda girl."

"Shame." She sighs. "That would have been kinda hot."

"Are you seeing him again this week?" I ask.

"I was supposed to see him last night. Couldn't make it, though. I had the hangover from hell."

"Mm...he got what he wanted, though." I clear my throat and step painfully close to her. "I may not look like much, Maddie, but I won't play your games. I won't take the shit you have put your sister through."

"Okay, I don't even know what you're talking about." She scoffs.

"That guy you met last week? Your client?"

"Yeah…" She draws out, her eyes rolling.

"Oh, he went to the club last night. He went to the club and thought that Eliza was you."

"Oh, I bet she freaked." A laugh erupting from her throat, I give her a look of complete disgust. "Sooo…" Stepping closer to me, she narrows her eyes. "She fucked him and now you are trying to get her back by bringing me here? I mean, I can totally work with that, I just need to know that we are on the same page…"

"You are unbelievable." I can't believe what I'm hearing. I really can't. "He assaulted her, Maddie. Your sister was assaulted by him and you make me sick. I wouldn't touch you, ever."

"He did what?" She laughs. "No, no way."

"Oh yeah. She told him no and he didn't like that, so he just tried to take what he wanted instead."

"She must have been good if he thought she was me." She shrugs.

"You don't care, do you?" I shake my head. "You don't care about Eliza at all. You know, I was the one who told her that she had to fix things with you. I was the one who told her that she should at least try and have a relationship with you…"

"Thanks." She smiles.

"Don't thank me." I scoff. "It was the biggest mistake of my fucking life."

"That's a little harsh." She rolls her eyes. "Eliza and I have always been this way. It's no big deal to either of us."

"Maybe not to you. But to her? You've hurt her, Maddie and now? Now she has been physically hurt by your actions. By your behavior." Dropping my gaze, I've never been so disappointed in another human being in all of my life. "You should leave."

"Sure." She agrees. "But you can't blame this on me. I wasn't even there. I'll see you guys around."

"No, I mean you should leave New York." I breathe out. "Because if you don't…I will remove you myself."

"Is that a threat, Arizona?"

"No, Maddie." I step towards her and give her a smile. "It's a fucking promise." Motioning towards the door, her eyes widen a little and she steps out onto the street. "You may not care about her, but I do. I care more than you ever possibly could. I don't know who you think you are and I don't know what game you think you are playing, but you're playing it alone. I wouldn't ever touch you and Eliza? She is a better person than you will ever be. Thank God I met the right one." I scoff. "You are nothing more than a disappointment and an embarrassment. Now, fuck off and take your shitty life with you." Closing the door in her face, I rest my body against the hardwood and breathe through my anger. I'm actually feeling a little better for it right now. Once I figured out it was her who was in some way to blame, it only made me feel worse about her and about myself. Now I've said what needed to be said, I can concentrate on fixing my girlfriend. She may not want or need to be fixed, but I have to be there to support her regardless of how she feels right now. I have to be by her side, and I always will.

My eyes opening, I find my girlfriend standing at the foot of the stairs and my heart drops into my stomach. "H-Hi." I stutter.

"That was some conversation." She raises her eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"I am now, yeah." Taking her hand in my own as I approach her, she tightens her grip and I guide us both into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't want her here but I had to do something."

"No, I appreciate you having my back, Arizona." She places a kiss below my ear and it settles me a little. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I reply. "Did you sleep okay? Are you in any pain? Can I get you anything?"

"I did." She smiles. "And a little…and no."

"Are you sure? Some coffee?" I raise an eyebrow. "Maybe a little breakfast?"

"Just…slow down a little." She stops me from leaving the space we are sharing. "Just…good morning." She places her hands on my hips and leans into a kiss. "Take a breath and stop worrying."

"Did you hear everything?" I ask.

"I did." She nods. "I heard her coming in here."

"I'm sorry you had to hear it." I drop my gaze as I pull myself up onto a stool. "But I had something I wanted to run by you…"

"Sure." She shrugs. "What is it?"

"Can we go away for a few days?" _Please say yes._

"You know what? I'd love that…"

"Yeah?" I smile. "You would?"

"Of course." She nods. "I think it could be good for us. Not just because of last night, but because of everything that's happened lately. Maybe it's a good idea to do it now while we both have the time. I mean, I'm going to lose you to a book tour before long and I don't want that to happen if we've never had some time away to ourselves."

"I thought you would turn me down," I admit, my eyes focusing on the kitchen counter in front of me. "I didn't think you would want to go with me…"

"I'll always want to be wherever you are…" She leans over the counter and takes my hands in her own. "Where are we headed?"

"My parents have a lake house out of town…" I raise an eyebrow and her smile widens. "It's ours if we want it?"

"We do." She nods. "We definitely want it."

"I'm so looking forward to this." I breathe out. "You know, just us…"

"It's going to be perfect." She smiles. "When do we leave?"

"Today." I shrug. "I already okayed it with mom and she is having the place sorted as we speak."

"Again…" She rounds the counter and steps between my legs. "You are incredible."

"Can we just…I mean, can you be honest with me for a tiny second?"

"About what?" She asks.

"About how you're feeling…" I give her a sad smile.

"Honestly?" She raises her eyebrow. "I'm scared." My heart breaking at her admission, I pull her in a little closer. "I'm scared that I won't be able to go back to my job. I'm scared that I won't be able to continue with my career. I'm also scared that what happened is going to hit me, and you, and we will fall apart."

"That isn't going to happen." I try to reassure her. "I'm here to stay, Eliza. You have to believe that. You've been through an awful experience and I want to be the one who sees you through it. I want to be the one who helps you figure this all out."

"You don't want me to go back to the club, do you?"

"No, I don't." I shake my head. "That isn't my decision, though. That is purely on you. Whatever you decide…I'm with you. I'll always be with you. If you decide that you want to go back…or you don't, I'll stand by you either way. Just take some time to think about it, okay?"

"Okay." She smiles, her lips pressing below my ear. "I'm sorry you never got your dance."

"Don't." I hold up my hands. "Please, don't even go there."

"What?" She furrows her brow.

"That is the least of our worries, and honestly, I'm not sure I ever want you to dance for me ever again. I just…it feels wrong right now. When the time comes…" I sigh. "...when we are intimate again, I want it to be in the comfort of a bed. Nothing but love surrounding us. Maybe even a little candlelight. I don't want or need your job to come home with you, Eliza. I just want and need you. The real you. The complete you. You are not complete right now, but our break will be nice and it will give us the chance to just be together."

"Yeah…" She agrees. "I couldn't think of anything more perfect."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	45. Chapter 45

*****TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF ASSAULT*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Five

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

My girlfriend is amazing. I've probably told her a million times since this morning, but yeah…she is. Everything about her. Every single thing. She amazes me more and more every day. I heard everything she said to my sister this morning and I'm so proud of her for keeping her cool. I'm so proud of her for being calm and not retaliating like I knew she wanted to. I could hear the disdain in her voice. The pure hatred. It hurt to hear those things from my sister, but nothing surprises me with her anymore. Nothing whatsoever. It's just who she is. It's just the way she behaves. She could never change and I've always known that. I mean, she didn't even ask if I'm okay. She didn't even ask anything about me. That hurt more than anything. Sure, we established that she doesn't care about me a long time ago, but she could have at least pretended to care. She could have at least shown some soft of remorse for her actions. Maddie is Maddie, though, and some things never change. _She_ will never change.

We arrived at Arizona's parents place a little while ago, and I'm taking five out by the lake alone. She sent me out here to relax whilst she unpacks our things, and even though I offered to help her with it all, she wouldn't listen. This is my break, apparently. This is all about me. I don't want it to be all about me, though. I hate the attention being on me. It may not seem like it at times, but yeah…I hate attention. I hate everything about it. I just want us to relax and leave the world behind for a little while. It's not much to ask for, and when Arizona told me that she had planned this for us, my heart soared. It beat just that little bit faster for her since my attack happened. She's everything I could ever want in my life, and no sisters or creepy guys could ever take that away from me. Nobody could ever tear us apart.

Looking out over the calm still lake, the air is so much clearer here. It's so much more refreshing than being in the city. Ideally, this is my kind of place. I love the quiet. I love the privacy of being out of town. It's who I am. I know I live right in the center of all of the commotion the city brings with it, but it was what was best at the time of me moving here. I didn't know anyone. I didn't know what my life was going to be like. I certainly didn't expect to meet the most incredible woman in the world. The love of my life. I didn't expect anything that I've had since I met Arizona. The late night sessions. The settling down of an evening. Movies. Dinners. Breakfasts. I didn't expect anything like that. Honestly, it still feels crazy when I think about it. It just feels like I sometimes don't belong in her life. I mean, she's sweet and honest. Adorable. I'm just a stripper. A good one with great pay, but a stripper nonetheless. I don't feel any less than her, but we are still opposite in so many aspects of our life. She's still mine, though, and I wouldn't ever change that. I wouldn't ever allow myself to mess this up between us. She's far too good to lose. "Hey…" A soft voice pulling me from my thoughts, I glance behind me and find the woman of my dreams standing behind me, leaning against the door frame with her arms folded over her chest. "You doing okay out here?"

"Yeah." I smile. "Did you want to join me, or?"

"I'd love to." She approaches me. "I just wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone."

"I never want to be alone if you're around, Arizona." I wrap my arm around her waist and she leans against the wooden railing beside me. "You keep me sane."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true." She gives me an awkward smile. "I mess things up most of the time."

"I'm not sure you have ever messed anything up in your life. Or our life, even." Resting my head against her shoulder, she releases a deep sigh and my thumb works the skin of her hip. "Thank you for doing this."

"I just wanted us to be alone together." She admits. "Maybe it's some sort of apology, too."

"Apology?" I furrow my brow.

"For how I treated you when Maddie arrived. How I tried to encourage you to build a relationship with her."

"You don't have to apologize." I lift my head from her shoulder and her eyes find mine. "You didn't know what she was like…"

"But you tried to tell me." She gives me a sad smile. "You tried to explain how awful she was, and I didn't listen. I wouldn't listen. I was too caught up in what I thought the right thing to do was, and now look at you…" Her voice breaking, she drops her gaze. "...look what he did to you." Trailing her thumb across the bruise beneath my jaw, a tear slips down her face and I brush it away. "This is my fault, Eliza."

"She took that job without your help, Arizona. This is all on her."I give her a knowing look but she isn't hearing me. She isn't willing to shift the blame. The blame that could never fall on her. "The sooner you realize this is all on her, the sooner we can move on and forget she even exists."

"Just…I'm sorry, okay?" She nuzzles her head against my chest and I know she is a little hesitant to hug me. "I'm so sorry…"

"Hug me, Arizona." I sigh as I rest my head on her own. "Please hold me…"

"Sorry, I just don't know if you are hurting or if you want to be touched." Gently placing her arms around my waist, she sobs into my chest and I hold her impossibly tight. "God, I love you." She cries. "I'd never hurt you, Eliza. Never."

"I know you wouldn't." I smile against her hair. "I know you would never hurt me."

"I'll never let anyone else hurt you ever again…"

"I'm okay." I whisper. "I'm okay because I have you."

"You'll always have me." She pulls back and her gorgeous blue eyes bore into my soul. "I don't think I could live without you, Eliza. That may be a little dramatic, but it's the truth. I just…"

"What?"

"I keep thinking about what could have happened. I mean, what he did was bad enough, but if you hadn't fought him off. If you hadn't protected yourself…I just, I can't get it out of my head and it hurts. This isn't even about me and I feel hurt."

"We are in this together, Arizona. I may have the physical marks, but you suffered too." I get that she is feeling this just as much as me, and I need her to know that it's okay to feel. I need her to know that it's okay to be mad and angry. If that helps her, it's totally fine. "If the tables were turned? I can't even begin to imagine how I'd be feeling. You matter in all of this, too, okay?"

"Can we take this inside?" She asks. "Can I hold you a little longer inside? By the fire?"

"I'd love that."

* * *

Lay flat out in front of the roaring fire my girlfriend has lit, we have blankets around us and my fingers are laced behind my head. I'm comfortable, but I wish Arizona would move a little closer to me. I wish she was in my arms. Instead, she's on her stomach and propped up on her elbows. We've just shared some of her mom's amazing home-cooked food, and now I feel like I need to thank the woman in person. If she makes food like she just has all the time, we have to move in with her. It was delicious. It's not anything I'd usually eat, but wow…I need more of that in my life. I need more of the homemade bread. _Terrible for my figure, but so good._

Arizona wants me to unwind this weekend and that is exactly what I plan on doing. I mean, I could work out if I wanted to, but I don't feel much like any sort of exercise right now. I just want to relax. Do nothing. Just be. Just be…with Arizona. She is all I need to help me through this, and she knows that. She knows they above all else, she is the only one who can keep me sane and grounded. She is the only one who makes me feel okay about all of this. Even though deep down…I know I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm scared about my future. I'm scared about the moment Arizona takes me to bed. What if she can't follow through with any plans? What if she stops us when the time comes? I'd like to think that she would push my attack to the back of her mind and just go with it, but I'm not sure she will. She has already admitted that she is scared to touch me, but I feel like I need that from her. I need her hands to erase anything he did. I need her hands on me to get the thought of his own on my body out of my head. I don't want to pressure her, though. I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do. If she cannot be intimate with me, I have to accept that. I mean, I'm damaged goods now, right?

Glancing away from her, my eyes watch the flames dance around the logs and it warms me a little inside. I've told Arizona pretty much everything that happened, but she doesn't know that he touched me. I mean, she does…the marks are clear enough for anyone to see, but certain parts of my body are for Arizona and only her…but he changed that. He changed that and I feel like I'm no longer hers. I feel like I've ruined everything for us. If she knew about the bite mark on my breast…she wouldn't want me anymore. If she knew that he had forced his hand inside my panties…god, I can't even bear to think about it. _I fought him off, and that is all that matters._ It was close, but I protected myself. I just hope that she sees that, too.

I know I'm crying right now, but I have to stop the tears before she notices them. I have to stop my emotions from making this moment any worse than it already feels. I intentionally hid the bite mark from her when she helped to clean me up yesterday. I didn't want her to see it. She is already hurting after seeing the marks on my back and my thighs. The bruising to my jaw. I don't want her to hurt any more than she already is. I don't want her to be in any pain whatsoever because of me. This isn't fair to her. What he did to me isn't fair to her. How is she ever supposed to look at me the same way again? How is she ever supposed to want to take me to bed and make love until the sun comes up? We are way past that now, but I fear if I don't tell her everything, we will be over. I know it. I hate it, but I know it.

Her thumb gently grazing my upper arm, we've been silent for way longer than I would like right now. I just don't know where to begin with any sort of conversation. I mean, I'm supposed to be the strong sexy dancer who takes no shit from anybody. I'm supposed to be the one who carries herself well and doesn't let people get her down. Right now, though, I'm more than down. I'm at my lowest. Arizona tells me that she is here and she supports me, but I know this is going to break us. I know that she would never want intimacy with me again after all of this. Like, how would she feel about me going back to work? She's already told me she doesn't want me to. She's already made that clear. It would be too much for her, I know it would. She would sit at home freaking out about who I'm with and I wouldn't do that to her. I wouldn't put her through that torment. Then, when she finds out everything about that night…she will only freak even more. She will want to know why I didn't tell her before now. She will want to know why I kept secrets from her. She will want to know if I wanted this to happen.

"Eliza?"

"Mm?" I keep my head turned away from her.

"Are you crying?" She leans over my body a little and yeah, she isn't stupid. She knows I'm upset. "Baby, look at me, please?"

"I can't." I breathe out. I can't look at her. I can't look into those beautiful blue eyes and tell her that I've kept things from her. I just…I can't.

"Sure you can." She shifts a little closer to me and her body feels so good against my own. "Eliza?"

"Arizona…"

"Talk to me, beautiful." Her voice soft, it relaxes me a little. "I need you to talk to me…"

"Do you still love me?" I ask for my own reassurance. "I know you say you do, but are you sure? Can you be sure that you will always love me…even when you realize fully what actually happened and that this isn't going to affect us."

"I love you more than anything in this world, Eliza." She brushes her thumb across the side of my face. "This cannot affect us. It may feel like it now, but you are hurting. I just need you to know that I'm here for you and you can talk to me whenever you need to."

"H-He…" Shaking my head, I turn it and find her eyes. "He did touch me, Arizona." Her facial features changing, I can't quite make out how she is feeling. The color has drained from her face, though. I know that much. "I couldn't tell you. I just…"

 _Nothing._

 _Silence._

 _Complete silence._

"I didn't intentionally keep it from you. I just didn't know how to tell you." _Nothing._ "I should leave." I attempt to sit up but she stops me. "It's fine, Arizona. I can go. I'll head back to the city. I just…I'll get my things."

"No." Her voice breaking, she closes her eyes and a tear slips down her gorgeous face. "Don't leave." I can see she is thinking about what I've just said, but I need more from her. Even if she screams at me, I just need something more.

"You don't want me here with you." I give her a sad smile as I wipe away her tears. "But I understand that."

"I do." She counters. "I just…give me a minute." She breathes out. "I just need one minute…" Studying her face, I'm not sure she is even breathing right now. "I-I…" Shaking her head, she drops her gaze and her shoulders shake. _Maybe I shouldn't have told her. Maybe I should have kept it to myself._

"Arizona, do you want me to leave you alone for a little while?"

"No." She cries. "I just…what do you mean?"

"That doesn't matter right now…" I give her a sad smile.

"It does matter." She sobs. "It matters because I need to not mess this up. I need to not do anything that is going to freak you out or scare you. I mean, does it scare you when I touch you? When I kiss you? Do _I_ now scare you?"

"No." I take her hands in my own. "You make me feel how I've always felt with you."

"I'm scared, Eliza." Her admission breaking my heart, I pull her against my chest and hold her. "I'm so scared that I'm going to mess this up."

"You won't." I place a kiss on top of her head. "We are okay, Arizona."

"How?" She pulls back and studies my face. "How are we okay?"

"Because you make me feel okay. You make me feel like I can be myself and you make me not think about what happened. You make me feel like everything is as it was. How it was before Maddie arrived. How it was before I worked the weeknight shift. You…" I place a kiss on her lips. "...You make me feel loved."

"W-What did he do?" She asks as she swallows hard. "Did he, um…"

"He didn't hurt me like you think," I state. I need her to know that even though he attacked me, he didn't actually take anything from me. My confidence and my strength, maybe, but nothing else. He didn't rape me. "He just…he tried, okay?"

"But he didn't like, you know?"

"No." I sigh. "He didn't."

"I just…I don't understand." She furrows her brow. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared, I guess." I have to be honest with her. I have to tell her everything if we are going to be okay after all of this is over. "I mean, I already feel like you won't ever want to be intimate with me again, so the idea of telling you just made me feel even worse about that possibility."

"Hey…" She gives me a knowing look. "Don't ever think that. Don't ever think that I will never make love to you again. Hell, I'd take you to bed right now given half the chance and show you just how much I love you…but I can't. I can't because you don't need that right now. You don't need to be intimate. You just need to work through this. You know I love you and you know that I will always want to make you feel good. It's just not what you need right now."

"Except it is." I breathe out, my eyes closed. "It's _all_ I need."

"Eliza…"

"No, you don't have to do anything about that. I just want you to know that I'm not damaged. I'm not fragile and unable to be around you. I love you and you are the only one who could ever make me feel good again. Just…remember that." I clear my throat and try to keep my emotions in check. I've just told her I'm not fragile, so I have to show her that I'm not. Crying would totally contradict everything I've just said. "Remember that when you see my body for the first time. Remember that when you think about pulling away because you can't possibly touch me. Just…please remember that I'm still me. That I'm still yours. Even if he has ruined me for you…I'm me, Arizona. Please just give me a chance to show you that."

"Come here…" Opening her arms to me, I shift and turn my back. Now resting between her legs and settled back against her body, she wraps her arms around my waist and we both stare into the fire in front of us. "I don't worry…" She whispers, the flames of the fire warming my skin.

"About what?"

"Our first time." She places a kiss below my ear. "You are still my girlfriend, Eliza. You are still the woman I fell in love with and cannot ever live without. He could never take that away from me. If anything, this has only made my love for you even stronger."

"Yeah?" I glance back over my shoulder. "I mean, you wouldn't be disgusted?"

"I don't ever want to hear you use that word again…" She shakes her head. "Not about yourself, or how I feel…or about our relationship. You are beautiful and I will never not want you, okay? Never." Her breath washing over the side of my face, my eyes close and my heart rate steadies a little. "And he hasn't ruined anything. Not you and not us."

"I love you…" My voice breaking, she tightens her grip around my waist and I can feel the absolute love she has for me. I can see the image of him disappearing and all that remains is my gorgeous girlfriend. She is all I will ever see. She is all I will ever need to get through this.

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Forty-Six

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My girlfriend is breaking my heart right now, she truly is. I mean, last night was spent reassuring her, and then she dropped the fact that more had happened into the conversation. I don't know how I feel about the other stuff she told me. She is struggling to tell me, and I'm struggling to ask her. Like, the words just won't come out of my mouth and I don't know what to do with the way I'm feeling. I want to hit something. I want to scream and I want to hit something. Something hard. Like a wall. I know I shouldn't, and I know I wouldn't, but it's what I want to do. It's the only thing that I feel will calm me right now. I need to speak to someone. My best friend, maybe. I need to get my feelings out and try to somehow figure this all out. _He touched her._ He touched my girlfriend. How fucking dare he put his hands on her body in the way that he did. I mean, I'm not stupid. I know they are allowed to touch a little…but what he did to her? I want to rip his fucking face off right now. I want to seriously hurt him.

I've been sitting out on the porch for the past twenty minutes and it's barely even 8 am right now. I should be sleeping. I should be by her side. I just…I can't sleep. I didn't sleep at all last night. I may have gotten around an hour overall, but my eyes are burning I'm so tired. My body is tired and aching and I don't know how to fix how I'm feeling. I don't know how to push through and leave my emotions at the door. I really don't. Grabbing my cell from the pocket of my robe, I pull up my contact list and hit a familiar number. Sending off a quick message, I set it back down and rest my head back.

 ** _Hey, are you up? Az x_**

 ** _Sure. About to head to the office. T x_**

 ** _Do you have five? Az x_**

 ** _Sure. I'll call you once I'm in my car. T x_**

Smiling when my friend gives me her time and attention, I pull my knees up to my chest and think over the past few days. Nothing in particular right now, just thinking. Thinking about anything at all. My cell buzzing beside me, I hit the accept button and bring it up to my ear. "Hey, Ted's."

"You okay, Arizona? Shouldn't you be relaxing or whatever you do when you're not writing?"

"Kinda hard to do right now…" I sigh.

"Why?" I can hear the confusion in her voice. "Is everything okay?"

"No, nothing is okay," I admit. "Something happened at the club…"

"With you or with Eliza?" She asks.

"With Eliza."

"Did she get fired or something?" My best friend asks.

"God, I wish it was as simple as being fired."

"Okay, I've no idea what you are talking about right now. Break it down for me, Arizona."

"She was attacked…" I clear my throat. "By a guy there."

"Oh, no." I can hear the disappointment and worry in my best friends voice. "Is she okay? I mean, I'm sure she's not, but I'm asking anyway…"

"She's doing okay, I think. I just don't know how to deal with anything. I don't know how she is truly feeling and it's killing me, Teddy. It's absolutely killing me."

"It must be hard for you both." She sighs. "I mean, who does that?"

"You tell me. You're the lawyer." I scoff. "I don't know why anyone would want to hurt her."

"Do you need me to represent her?" She asks. "No charge, obviously."

"To be honest, I think it's going to be pretty much cut and dry. The fact that they have footage of it will help so I'm hoping they don't put her through too much."

"Yeah, footage is always good, Arizona. It makes everyone's life easier."

"You think she will be okay?" I ask. "You think _we_ will be okay?"

"Are you joking?" She laughs. "You two will _always_ be okay. You guys love each other way too much to let some fucking creep get in between you both. Way too much."

"Thank you." I breathe out. "Just…can I call you if I need you? You know, if I need an ear?"

"I'm hurt that you have even just asked me that." She sighs. "You know I'll always be there for you, Arizona. Eliza, too."

"Thanks, Ted's." I breathe a sigh of relief. "We're at mom's lake house right now. I just wanted her to get away from it all…"

"And you aren't sleeping?" She asks. "You are worried and you are sitting out on the porch, right?"

"I am." I agree. "She just…she thinks I don't want her anymore. I can't bear this, Teddy. She thinks I won't ever want to be intimate with her again." I know I probably shouldn't be relaying my girlfriend's fears to my best friend, but I need someone right now. I need someone who I can't trust and who can give it to me straight.

"How bad was the attack, Arizona?"

"Well, to me…it was bad." I sigh. "He didn't you know…"

"You need to say the word, Zo. You need to say it for yourself."

"I can't." A tear slips down my face. "I can't say it, Teddy."

"Arizona…"

"He um, h-he didn't r-rape her." My stomach turning, I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. "She fought him off but she has cuts and bruises all over her body."

"Fucking scumbag." My best friend spits. "Want me to find out who he is and who is representing him?"

"I don't think it will achieve anything, but thank you."

"Okay." She sighs. "Just…call me if you need anything. Either of you. I know it's hard for you both right now and I know you probably feel like you're lost, but it will get better. You guys love each other so yeah…it will all work out in the end."

"I'll call you in a few days, okay?"

"Sure, bye." Our call ending, I settle back in my seat and watch as the sun begins to rise through the trees. I hate this feeling of guilt I have, but I have to push it from my mind. I have to stop feeling like I'm the cause of Eliza's attack because it's only going to make this worse. You know, the not knowing. The not understanding how to be around her. She says she wants me to just be normal and how we were, but it's easier said than done. I'm scared in case I hurt her and honestly…I cannot bear to see those marks on her body. His handprints. His reminder of what he did. _God, I hate this so much._

The clearing of a throat behind me causing me to jump a little, I glance back and find my girlfriend in the doorway. "You weren't in bed…"

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you."

"Are you sure that's all it is?" She raises her eyebrow. "Are you sure you just couldn't sleep…"

"I'm sure." I nod. "Come sit with me?" I lift the blanket beside me and Eliza approaches. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I actually did." She smiles. "I think it's the fresh air out here. Kinda knocked me, I guess."

"Yeah, it's pretty calming here. It's why I brought you." Lacing our fingers together, she glances down at our hands and gives me a small smile. "I knew you'd like it here."

"How so?"

"Because I know you like the simple life." I shrug. "I know you like to just be with your thoughts when you're not working."

"Sometimes it amazes me that another person knows me so well." She fixes her eyes on the calm waters in front of us. "I didn't think I'd ever find anyone who cared enough to know so much about me. About what I like. Who I am."

"Well, you found me." I smile as I squeeze her hand a little tighter. "And you'll always have me. I _love_ the person that you are."

"Yeah?" She wrinkles her nose as she pulls her knees up to her chest. "Even I don't like the person I am sometimes so I don't know why you find me so interesting."

"I don't find you interesting." I shake my head. "I find you incredible."

"That's sweet." She shifts a little closer to me and gives me a smile. "Do you mind if I rest here with you a little longer?"

"So long as you're not cold, you can stay with me as long as you like." Wrapping my arm around her shoulder I pull her body against my own and she relaxes a little beside me. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke."

"It's okay." She gives me a slight shrug. "Just…are you sure you are okay sleeping beside me?" Her gaze dropping to the edge of the blanket that she is toying with, I curl my finishes beneath her chin and she lifts her eyes ever so slightly.

"I'll always want to be beside you." Placing a kiss on her lips, she gives me an uncertain smile and I pull back. "Eliza?"

"Sorry, I just…I guess I miss you. Us."

"But I'm right here." I tilt my head a little and study her face. "I didn't go anywhere."

"But we're not the same as we used to be." She sighs. "I just want us to be the people we were before this happened, and we're not. I hate it."

"I'm just giving you space and time to think…"

"I don't want to think about it." She wipes away a tear that has fallen. "I just want you to take it all away." Her honesty absolutely breaking my heart, I focus on her gorgeous eyes and I find nothing but the complete truth. "I want you to erase every image I have of him in my head."

"You know I want nothing more…"

"When I was in that room with him. When I realized what was happening…I thought about you. I thought about how you hold me and kiss me and make everything feel safe and like it's supposed to feel. When he had his hands on me, I had to remember you, Arizona. I had to remember everything that you have given me since we met and how you have changed my life…"

Pressing my lips against her own, her eyes close and her unshed tears fall fast. Her emotion falls hard down her face. "I want to take it all away." I rest my forehead against her own. "I want to be the only one you remember…"

"I just need you to be okay with me. I need you to touch me and kiss me whenever you want to. I don't want you to hesitate or worry. _You_ are who I need. _You_ are the one who can make me _me_ again…" Standing, the blanket falls from my legs and I pull her up to her feet. "I just…I need you to want me."

"I always want you…" I run my thumb across her cheek. "Every minute of the day…"

"C-Can you want me now?" She stutters as she drops her gaze.

"I can." I smile. "I _do._ " Taking her hands in my own, I guide us both inside and move further into the living room. I want her like never before, but we aren't doing this right now. Sure, a little making out sounds amazing but I want her to enjoy her morning and then we will go from there. I know she wouldn't say those things if it wasn't how she truly felt, but I want to make love to her for the first time since her ordeal in front of the roaring fire. Right after we've shared a glass wine on the porch and looking up at the stars. I want her to feel the love I have for her before I've even touched her. I want her to just feel…

"I need you to listen to what I have to say." I push her down onto the couch and straddle her legs. "And I really need you to hear me, okay?"

"Okay." Her hands resting flat on my thighs, I make myself a little more comfortable and cup her face.

"Tonight is _our_ night. You may want this right now, and usually I wouldn't even think twice about it, but tonight, Eliza, okay?"

"T-Tonight." She narrows her eyes. "You aren't just trying to stall?"

"No, baby." Running my thumb across her bottom lip, my hand rests on the side of her face and she leans into my touch. "Tonight I'm going to make you feel good. Tonight my attention will be on you, and _only_ you. Not him, or anyone else…you."

"God, I love you." She breathes out as she fists her hand in my oversized tee and pulls me against her body. "I love you so much, Arizona."

"I know you do…" I want her to be sure this is what she wants. I want her to be sure that she is ready for this because I know the moment there is no going back, I'm all in. If she pushes me away, it will kill me, so I need a little while longer to prepare myself for that possibility, and I think she does, too. "I love you, too."

"I just feel like everything is messed up and it will never be the same. It will though, right?" She asks. "It will be okay…we will be okay?"

"We love each other and that is the one thing that we have to remember." I run my fingers through her gorgeous dark hair. "Whenever you are worried or you are feeling uncertain, you have to remember how much love I have for you."

"Yeah." She smiles. "I can do that."

"But I also want you to talk to me." I give her a knowing look. "When you need to talk, do it. Don't hesitate or pull away. I'm here to listen. Whatever worries you have."

"I'm so glad I have you in my life, Arizona." She fists her hand in my robe and pulls me in closer. "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you most days. You just make me feel so safe and protected. Settled."

"And don't ever think that I don't want you. You are the one thing that keeps me breathing, Eliza. You are my oxygen. You are my life. Completely." Pressing my lips against her own, she wraps her arms around my waist and I feel a lot more relaxed than I did when I woke this morning. Having her lips on my own makes everything else disappear. All of my doubts about being the perfect girlfriend. All of my doubts about messing this up. I know we will be okay and I know that no matter what, I'll always be here for her. I have to be. She is my life and I have to protect her. I have to love her. She means the absolute world to me and I couldn't ever be without her. "You know, I've thought about our future…"

"Y-You have?" She furrows her brow.

"I have." I nod. "And it looks nothing like this," I admit. "It's filled with happiness and love. A huge house. One out of the city. A dog. God, its filled with so much, Eliza, and you are who I see by my side every time I think about it. Me...writing. You...dancing. So in love that we make other people sick. I see my future with you and it's so perfect…just like you." A tear slipping down her face, I wipe it away and give her a sad smile. "Tonight is our night," I whisper against her mouth. "Tonight is our night and nobody can take that away from us. Nobody can taint anything we have. You, God…you make my heart beat out of my chest, and I love you so much."

"Tonight is our night…" She repeats my words.

"Tonight." I agree. "Tonight and for the rest of our lives…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Thanks for sticking with this one. It's one of my favorite to write….**


	47. Chapter 47

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Forty-Seven

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ELIZA'S POV

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We've been sitting out by the lake for a little while now. It's so peaceful out here and honestly, I'm not sure I ever want to leave this place. It's just perfect. Quiet. Sometimes we just need the quiet in our lives. We are both so busy back in the city, and I would take this setting over the one we have any day. I really would. Arizona seems different here, too. I don't know why, but she doesn't seem to have any sort of worry. She seems more honest here. I'm not complaining, though, because a lot of the time, I live for her honesty, but yeah…something about this place has changed our relationship. Something about it has brought us closer together. I didn't think that was possible, but it seems it is. It seems its perfectly possible to grow closer. She's been amazing since we arrived here and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to put into words how much I appreciate her. How much I love having her in my life. I know I tell her all the time, but these past few days have been hard. They've been hard and I wouldn't have coped if she wasn't here with me. If she wasn't in my life, I'd have been a complete mess. I know I would. It's my usual behavior to go insane when things aren't going right, but she has calmed me. Her presence. Her soft touch. She is everything I need right now. She is everything I'll need for the rest of my life.

I cant say I've ever imagined the possibility of being attacked at the club, and honestly…it's never even come close to happening, but now that it has, I'm seriously thinking about my future. I'm seriously thinking about the possibility of never returning. I mean, I'd love to, and I love my job, but what if I cant do it? What if I freak out at the first sign of anyone booking me for a private dance? I'd hate to ruin my reputation because of my fears. I've worked so hard to make a name for myself, and now it could all be crushed. I don't want that to happen, but I also don't know what to do about this awful situation. This awful feeling I have. I'd speak to my girlfriend about it, but she has already made it clear that she doesn't want me to return. Perfectly acceptable, I know that, but I need her to not have her own opinion on this right now. I need her to just see it from my point of view and help me out with how I feel about it.

She's been a little quiet and I don't know what to make of it. She said tonight would be our night, and right now…I'm beginning to worry that she is backing out of that. I don't want her to, but I guess if she can't do it then I cant be mad about it. She's caring. She cares about people and how they are feeling. Maybe she thinks I'm not ready. Maybe she thinks its too soon…for the both us. I can see why she would think that, and yeah…it could be too soon, but I need her touch on me. I need her hands to take away all of the pain and worry I have right now. I need her lips to kiss away anything he left. I just need her. I'll always need her, though. She knows that.

"Hey…" She leans in a little closer. "Look at that." Pointing up at the sky, it's totally clear and the stars are pretty intense tonight. "Isn't that beautiful."

Sipping on my wine, I swing my legs up and over her own and give her a nod in agreement. "That is something else…"

"Do you ever get that overwhelming sense of emotion when you look at the stars?" She asks, her eyes fixed on the sky above us. "Like, it's so unbelievably breathtaking that you could cry?"

"I do." I sigh, a small smile creeping onto my face. "I know exactly what you mean."

Glancing my way, she takes my hand in her own and runs her thumb over my knuckles. "That's exactly how I feel when I'm with you…" Placing a kiss below my ear, my eyes close and my heart skips a beat. I don't know if its because she is a writer or if she just knows the right things to say, but god…this woman makes me feel like I can't breathe without her. "It's how I always feel when I'm with you."

"I love you." Lacing our fingers together, I stare into her ocean blue eyes and she doesn't take them off of my own. "I love you so much, Arizona."

"I love you, too." Her eyes searching my face, she gives me a small smile and leans in to capture my lips. Her kisses are always so soft and right now it is exactly what I need. It is what I'm living for tonight. Her breath on my face. Her beautiful words. Her heartbeat against my own. It's all I want and it's all I've thought about all day. Her hand placed on my thigh, she pulls back and finds no signs of me not wanting this. "C-Can we take this inside?" She asks, a little hesitation in her voice.

"I'd love to take this inside." I pull her up to her feet and our bodies connect. It's going to be weird when she sees the marks on my body again, but I have to push past those thoughts for the time being. I don't want her to think that I'm overthinking anything tonight. If she senses that, she will stop. I know she will. I just want to get lost in her. I want to get lost in her eyes and her touch. Hitting play on the music system as she guides my body through the lake house, she smiles against my mouth and I push her hoody from her shoulders. Candles lit, the flames dance and her eyes shine like never before. She knows exactly how to love me and I swear she is all I'll ever need. She is all I'll ever see. "You are incredible." Lifting her tee up and over her head, her gorgeous blonde hair falls around her shoulders and she pulls me back towards the fire. Cushions and blanket scattered on the floor in front of the fireplace, her lips never leave mine and I find myself on my knees before it has even registered. Her body pressed against mine, she curls her fingers beneath the hem of my tee and pulls back waiting for my approval. Giving her a nod, she gently lifts it from my body and the heat from the fire instantly warms my skin.

"Just say the word…" She presses her lips against my own. "If it's too much, just say the word." Pushing my body down onto the blankets, her bare skin presses against my own and I feel alive. I feel like I always have. I feel like myself. Her lips trailing my neck, my back arches from the floor and my body is responding just like I hoped it would. I will always want this woman but I wasn't sure my mind wouldn't play tricks on me when this moment came. Thankfully, it isn't. Thankfully, all I'm feeling is Arizona, and I hope that is all I will ever feel from this moment on. "So beautiful." She whispers against my skin as her mouth dips to my chest. Her fingers toying with the clasp between my breasts, I give her a nod and I'm not entirely sure what is about to happen. She hasn't seen the mark on my breast and I'm beginning to wish I had told her about it. My bra falling open, her eyes focus on the bite mark before her head snaps up and her eyes find mine.

"It's okay…" I try to reassure her.

"Oh god…" Her voice breaking, she drops her head and closes her eyes. Her mouth returning to my skin, she places soft kisses between my breasts and it feels like heaven. Absolute heaven. "I love you." She breathes out, her voice a little shaky. "I just…God." Pressing her lips to the bite mark, a tear hits my skin and my heart breaks for her. This has hit her hard, and it's becoming more and more evident as the days go on. "I love you, and I'll never hurt you." The song changing, she glances up at me and I pull her up my body a little.

"Make me feel good, Arizona…" Crushing my lips into her own, she completely relaxes against my body and her heart is pounding in her chest. "You are the only one who could ever make me feel good…" Reassuring her, she gives me a nod and a small smile creeps onto her face.

 ** _Fire and ice_**

 ** _This love is like fire and ice_**

 ** _This love is like rain and blue skies_**

 ** _This love is like sun on the rise_**

 ** _This love got me rolling the dice_**

 ** _Don't let me lose_**

 ** _Still falling for you_**

 ** _Still falling for you_**

Sitting up, she curls her fingers beneath the waistband of my jeans and slips them over my thighs. Concentrating on my black lace panties instead of the handprints on my thighs, she bites down on her bottom lip and a slight moan falls from her mouth. "You have no idea how perfect you are…" My legs falling open either side of her body, she runs the back of her hand up my material covered center and my hips lift a little from the floor. "So perfect."

 ** _Beautiful mind_**

 ** _Your heart got a story with mine_**

 ** _Your heart got me hurting at times_**

 ** _Your heart gave me new kind of highs_**

 ** _Your heart got me feeling so fine_**

 ** _So what to do_**

 ** _Still falling for you_**

 ** _Still falling for you_**

 ** _It took us a while_**

 ** _With every breath a new day_**

 ** _With love on the line_**

 ** _We've had our share of mistakes_**

 ** _But all your flaws and scars are mine_**

 ** _Still falling for you_**

 ** _Still falling for you_**

Slipping my panties from my body, she trails her soft hands over the bruising to my thighs and my eyes close. I've never wanted this as much as I do right now, and the more she caresses my skin like she is, the more I need to feel her hands in other places. Some very aroused places. "Arizona…" I breathe out. "That feels so good."

"Yeah?" She smiles as my eyes find hers.

"So good." I moan as she dips her hand to the inside of my thigh. My hips lifting again, she runs a single finger through my arousal and my breath catches in my throat. "Y-Yes…" I bite down on my lip and nod, my head burying deeper into the pillow beneath me. "God, yes…"

 ** _And just like that_**

 ** _All I breathe_**

 ** _All I feel_**

 ** _You are all for me_**

 ** _I'm in_**

 ** _And just like that_**

 ** _All I breathe_**

 ** _All I feel_**

 ** _You are all for me_**

 ** _No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do_**

 ** _I'm still falling for you_**

Straddling one leg, she leans her body down against me and captures my lips. Her own center grinding down against my thigh, I bend my knee a little and force myself against her. Her fingers pressing against my clit, I moan into her mouth and she smiles against my lips. "God, I want you so much…" She breathes against my lips.

"T-Take me, Arizona…" My words causing her to slip a single finger inside of me, I force my ass into the floor and she slowly adds another. "F-Fuck…" I whisper as she pulls back and studies my face. "S-So good…"

 ** _Brighter than gold_**

 ** _This love shining brighter than gold  
This love is like letters in bold  
This love is like out of control  
This love is never growing old  
You make it new  
Still falling for you  
Still falling for you_**

 ** _It took us a while  
'Cause we were young and unsure  
With love on the line  
What if we both would need more  
But all your flaws and scars are mine  
Still falling for you  
Still falling for you  
Still falling for you_**

Her pace picking up a little, she drops her head to my shoulder and my eyes close. I need to take her in. Everything about her. How her fingers work me better than anyone else ever could. How she breathes softly against my skin. She is all I could ever want and more. She is all I could ever imagine in my life. The past few days never happened right now. We are here. We are in love. We are all that matters. She is all that matters. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life making love to you, Eliza." Her words causing my heart to almost burst out of my chest, her pace increases and that burning sensation builds in the pit of my stomach. That sensation only she can create. "All of my life…"

 ** _And just like that  
All I breathe  
All I feel  
You are all for me  
I'm in  
And just like that  
All I breathe  
All I feel  
You are all for me  
No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do  
Still falling for you_**

 ** _Falling, crash into my arms  
Love you like this  
Like a first kiss  
Never let go  
Falling, crash into my arms  
Never breaking what we got  
Still falling for you  
Still falling for_**

Feeling my orgasm approach, my walls squeeze her fingers and she sits up a little on her knees. Her movements softer than ever, she takes my nipple between her lips and rolls her tongue over the hardened bud. Softly sucking and tugging, she rolls her thumb over my clit and my breath catches in my throat. "Y-Yes…" My chest is heaving and the room we are sharing is quickly disappearing from around me. "Oh god, yes." My hands fisting in the blanket beneath me, she curls her fingers deep inside of me and my eyes slam shut.

 ** _And just like that  
All I breathe  
All I feel  
You are all for me  
I'm in  
And just like that  
All I breathe  
All I feel  
You are all for me  
All for me_**

"Let go, Eliza." Her mouth moving up my chest, she runs her tongue up the center of my neck before taking my bottom lip between her teeth. "Let go and feel good." Smiling against my mouth, my orgasm crashes through me and I'm not sure I've ever felt an intensity quite like it. We've had some incredible sex since we met, but this is magical. This is earth-shattering. It's simple and it's soft, but wow…it's everything I could have ever hoped for. "So beautiful…" She pulls back and my eyes open. "I love you."

 ** _And just like that  
All I feel is you  
All I feel is you  
You are all for me  
I'm still falling  
And just like that  
All I feel is you  
All I feel is you  
You are all for me  
No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do  
I'm still falling for you_**

"I love you, too." Lifting one hand, I wrap it around her shoulders and pull her down against me. Her fingers gently removed from my body, I groan at the loss of contact and she rests her head against my chest. "T-Thank you." I breathe out, my chest still heaving and my body still sensitive. "Thank you for being the incredible woman that you are."

"I'll always take care of you, Eliza." She glances up and her blue eyes sparkle against the flames. "Anything you ever need…I'll always be here." Pressing her lips to my own, the smile that appears on my face is probably the most genuine I've had since my attack. "I want to stay with you like this forever…"

 _Me too, baby. Me too…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Song was 'Still Falling For You' by Ellie Goulding.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Forty- Eight

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

We've been at my parent's lake house for two days, and I've honestly never felt as calm as I do right now. It's just been incredible. It really has. No one to bother us. No one to interrupt our flow. We've simply lazed around and it's been awesome. It's been perfect. I know things aren't as perfect as we would like them to be right now, but it's been so much more than I expected it to be. I wasn't sure how Eliza would be feeling after her attack, but she has taken it better than I thought she would. I mean, she's been feeling really insecure about our relationship, but I think that's normal. I mean, who would feel completely 100% after someone has violated them at their place of work? Who would just shrug it off and continue with their life? Nobody. It's an awful thing to happen to anyone, but experiencing it when it's my girlfriend who has gone through it just makes it feel so much worse. Sometimes I don't know what to say. Sometimes I don't know whether to ask how she is feeling or whether to avoid any conversation about it at all. I know things will get better but I'm concerned that it won't always be good.

Our fingers laced together, the leaves crunch beneath our feet and Eliza pulls me in a little closer. "I love you." Pressing a kiss below my ear, my eyes close and a small smile creeps onto my face. "Thank you for bringing me here. It's beautiful."

"Yeah." I agree as I wrap my arm around her waist. We've been walking around the wooded area surrounding the property for a little while and it's just been nice to have some fresh air and a moment to think. A moment to ourselves. "I never imagined you would be into this kind of place…"

"What?" She furrows her brow. "You mean the quiet and the nothing around for miles kind of thing?"

"Well…yeah." I shrug. "Just doesn't seem like your thing."

"Oh no." She shakes her head. "This is totally my thing."

"Yeah?" I wrinkle my nose. "Crazy…"

"What is?" She asks.

"Nothing." I wave off my own thoughts I somehow managed to speak out loud. "Just…never mind."

"Arizona…" She draws out. "Talk to me."

"It's just crazy that I found someone who loves this place like I do." I shrug. I have something I want to speak to her about, but I'm not sure now is the time. She's still getting over the events at home and I don't want to put any more on her right now. "I'm happy that you like it here."

"Okay, something is going on in that gorgeous head of yours and I need to know what…"

"Just...do you ever see yourself living somewhere like this?" Maybe I'll just gauge her reaction. Her thoughts. "Somewhere out of the city?"

"God, yes. Definitely somewhere outside of the city." She breathes out as our pace slows a little. "Why?"

"The lake house kinda belongs to me…"

"What do you mean…kinda?" She furrows her brow and stops in the middle of the path. "It either does or it doesn't…"

"It does." I clear my throat. "Dad built it when Tim and I were kids. We helped, actually. My parents never bothered to have ownership signed over to us, and then Tim died and this place was kind of forgotten about. You know, I didn't really want to be here without him."

"This place belongs to you?"

"And Tim." I nod. "But he would have loved you, so…" Dropping my gaze, my emotions are suddenly trying to get the better of me. "Just…I always imagined myself living here someday, but I always imagined it would be alone. Just me and a couple of dogs, maybe."

"O...kay." She has a look of total confusion going on right now.

"I just…I love being here with you, Eliza. It doesn't seem so bad when you are beside me. I stopped coming here for a long time because I couldn't face it without Tim, but having you here has brought me back. It's made me want to be here. I um...I think maybe it's time to take ownership of the place."

"Wow…" She breathes out. "I really make you feel better being here?"

"You do." I nod. "What do you think?"

"It isn't about what I think." She wraps her arms around my waist and pushes me back against the trunk of a tree. "This is your place, and whatever you want to do is your decision."

"But I want it to be _our_ decision." _God, I want to live here with her so much._

"Arizona, what exactly are you trying to ask me?" She leans in a little closer and fists her hand in my jacket.

"I'm asking you to come and live here with me…"

"H-Here?" She stutters. "Like…now?"

"Yes, here." I nod. "And whenever you want to move here." Sensing that this is way too much for her think about right now, I press a kiss to her lips and pull back. "But it's not even something to think about right now. Just figured I'd drop it into the conversation."

"Wow." She shakes her head. "I mean, this place is amazing…"

"But not what you want for us… " I give her a sad smile. "And that's okay. Just forget I even mentioned it." Waving off my own suggestion, I brush past her and resume with our walking. "Come on, let's head back for some lunch."

"Arizona." She grips my wrist. "Can we talk about it inside?"

"We really don't have to." I shake my head. "It's no big deal." Taking her hand in my own, we head back down the path we have been following and I don't really know how I feel about the idea of living here. Maybe it was a stupid suggestion. I mean, why would she want to live outside of the city? Just because she said she likes it here…it doesn't mean she wants to set up home here. _Get a grip, Arizona._

* * *

Standing at the kitchen counter, my hands are warming around my coffee cup and Eliza is taking five on the couch. I love the idea of not having to do anything whilst we are here, and maybe I just got a little carried away with my ideas earlier. I've always wanted to make this place my own but losing Tim just totally removed all thoughts of ever doing that from my mind. Even when Cheryl and I were together, it never crossed my mind. Something about being here with Eliza makes me feel totally different, though. I don't know why, but it does. She makes me want to sit out by the lake all afternoon. She makes me want to prepare for winter here. The views during winter are some of the most breathtaking views I've ever witnessed and I guess I just wanted her to experience that with me. You know, waking to a lake surrounded by snow. The fire roaring whilst we laze around on a Sunday afternoon. Yeah, I totally want that. Well, wanted. Eliza is a city girl, I know that. It's what I've always thought about her. That's okay, though. Wherever she is…I will be.

"Hey…" Strong soft arms wrapping around my waist from behind, my girlfriend presses a kiss to my ear and a smile settles on my face. "Got a minute?" She asks, her voice soft.

"I've always got a minute for you." I agree. "What's up?" Turning me in her arms, she studies my face and I furrow my brow. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is perfect…surprisingly." Brushing my hair from my face, her hand rests on my cheek and I lean into her touch. "I don't want you to think that I don't want to live here with you. That's not what I was thinking earlier…"

"Eliza, it's nothing to worry about." I give her a sad smile.

"I just…why would you want me to live here with you? This place belongs to you and Tim."

"Tim is dead, Eliza." I may be stating the obvious, but he is. "This place would have always been mine, anyway. He would have been traveling and bedding women. I know it."

"You really want me to share a life with you here?" She asks, hesitation in her voice. "Me? The stripper? In a home that your father build for you and your brother?"

"Don't talk about yourself like that." I shake my head. "Tim would have loved you and he only ever wanted me to be happy."

"You think he would have liked me?" She wrinkles her nose.

"I know he would have." I nod. "It was just an idea. I've loved every minute of being here with you and honestly…I see my future here with you. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous and expecting too much, but I figured with everything that had happened lately, we could just remove ourselves from the situation. You know, take ourselves out of the crazy busy world the city is. Just…I'm sorry if it's playing on your mind. I shouldn't have asked."

"Yes…"

"And I know that you will be alone once I start working again so it was just stupid to even suggest it. Why would you want to live here alone when I'm off on some book tour? You probably won't even want to be with me by then. Just forget it. I'm being pathet-" Cut off when she pulls me in and crushes her lips into my own, her hands settle beneath my shirt and she smiles against my mouth.

"I said yes, Arizona."

"W-What?" I furrow my brow. "When?"

"Somewhere during your ramble. Midway through, I think." Shrugging, she brushes her nose against my own and her thumb draws circles on my hip. "I'd love to live here with you…"

"You would?" I smile. "You aren't just saying this to shut me up?"

"No, baby." Her lips grazing my own, her smile widens and mine quickly follows. "You're right. Being away from the city will be good for us. It's just too much, sometimes."

"Wow…" I breathe out. "So, we're doing this?"

"Looks like we are." She raises an eyebrow. "If you're sure it's what you want? If you're sure you want me here…"

"I do," I admit. "So much."

"Then let's do it." She smirks against my mouth as she wraps her hands around my thighs and lifts me up onto the kitchen counter. "Let's make it happen."

"God, I love you so much." Wrapping my arms around her neck, she slips her tongue into my mouth and I moan as the tip connects with my own. "I love absolutely everything about you."

"This is going to be kinda beautiful." Who'd have thought eight months ago we would be here? Who'd have thought that night when I walked into the club would result in this? So in love that we cannot bear to be disconnected from each other. So in love that we want everything together. I know we have things to talk about. Mainly her job…but right now she is doing okay and I don't want to rock the boat. I don't want her to even have to worry about her job right now. We are more than comfortable financially between us, so she can take all the time she needs to decide her future. So long as it is with me, I don't care. So long as we end each and every day together…I'll stand by whatever decision she makes.

* * *

"Oh god." Sinking down onto my girlfriend's fingers, my body is experiencing her in its entirety right now. Her free hand roaming my stomach and gripping my nipple, anyone could walk through the door right now and I wouldn't even stop. Her attention is totally on me and it feels so good. My legs straddling her own, she is flat on her back on the couch and her fingers are deep inside of me. "Fuck, Eliza." Tugging a little harder at my nipple, it sends the most amazing sensation straight to my core and fresh arousal coats her hand.

"God, you're so gorgeous like this." Sitting up, she takes a nipple between her teeth and sucks a little harder. "I could take you all night…"

"Y-Yes…" Lifting a little, I drop back down on her hand and she never takes her eyes off of me. Those amazing green eyes. "Y-You, oh god…" My stomach tightening, she smiles against the skin of my breast before circling my nipple with her tongue. "M-More…I need more of you."

"You can always have more of me." She smiles as she grips the back of my neck and pulls me down into a kiss. Slipping a third finger deep inside of me, she groans as my walls squeeze them tight and tugs on my bottom lip. "So good." She moans. "You feel so fucking good."

I've wanted this moment to come for so long. It may have only been a few days, but we are so sexually active that it feels like a lifetime ago. I just thought she would need more time. Judging by the way she took me on the counter earlier, though, I'd say she's had her time and now she is ready to resume our amazing sex life. "Fuck, I'm close." My chest heaving, she pulls back and studies my face. "Shit, I-I…"

"Come for me, Arizona." Her eyes boring into my soul, she curls her fingers and hits that spot. That spot that often has me screaming her name. "I love you, and I want you to come for me." My arms wrapped around her shoulders, I desperately want to grip her back but I can't. I can't because she still has the marks from her attack on her skin and it wouldn't feel right. Gripping her tee, my hand's fist in the material and my body falls closer towards the edge. "Fuck, you are dripping…"

Her words pushing me further and further towards my orgasm, she pushes her thumb against my clit and my breath catches in my throat. "Y-Yes…" Slamming down on her hand, my body shakes and my grip on her body tightens. "Oh god, yes. Fuck. I-I, I'm coming."

"What I love to hear." She presses her lips against my own and my orgasm crashes through me. My mouth falling open against her own, all I can do is try to breathe. "Ride it out, beautiful…" My forehead pressed against her own, she doesn't take her eyes off of me and the shockwaves coursing through my body right now are as intense as they've ever been. "Making love to you is my favorite thing."

"Oh god…" I pant. "You're telling me?"

"Mm…" She smiles. "Have to make sure you know." Slowing her movements inside of me, my hips occasionally grind against her hand and wow…this woman makes me insane. "You like that, huh?"

"I always like you inside of me." I moan as my center continues to throb for her. "Always." Pushing her back down on the couch, my body slumps against her own and I feel totally spent. "Eliza…" I mumble against her skin.

"What's up, beautiful?" She runs her fingers through my hair as she slowly slips out of me.

"Living here with you is going to be incredible…" I admit. "So incredible."

"You know…I think you're totally right." She presses a kiss to my forehead. "And I cannot wait to get things going."

"I have to call my mom." I sigh as my breathing returns to normal. "Are you ready to meet them?"

"S-Sure." She clears her throat. "Just…what do I say to them?"

"Uh, about what?" I glance up and furrow my brow.

"About my job, Arizona."

"Oh...whatever you want to say to them." I shrug. "I'm not concerned."

"Well, I'm glad one of us isn't." She replies. "I can't exactly tell your parents I'm a stripper, can I?"

"Dad may have an aneurysm…but mom will be intrigued." I laugh and she gives me a look of horror. "Relax! My dad will question you for the rest of your life, anyway. That's just who he is."

"Right." She gives me an awkward smile.

"Hey!" I give her a knowing look. "I love you and they will love you."

"Promise?" She asks, her voice filled with worry. "Promise they won't hate me?"

"I'm not sure anyone could ever hate you, Eliza." She is so adorable when she gets like this. I mean, she is adorable 24/7, but when she thinks less of herself…I kind of enjoy it. I enjoy it because I'm the one who gets to reassure her. I'm the one who gets to hold her and tell her that everything will be okay. She knows she is more than good enough for anyone she comes across in life, but we all have those moments. We all have that slight insecurity when it comes to meeting the parents. Why would she be any different?

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Nine

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Oh god. Arizona's parents are coming by today and I'm not sure I'm prepared for it. I'm not sure I can even look at them. I mean, why would they be happy that their daughter is dating me? Why would they be happy for me to live in the home that they've made a lot of memories in? I don't understand. I also don't understand how Arizona is so okay with this. Surely she's worried, too. Surely she cannot even bring herself to tell her parents what I do. I mean, she says she's told them about me and that her mom can't wait to meet me, but what exactly has she told them? Did she tell her wonderful sweet mom that she met the love of her life whilst I was dancing in her lap? Did she tell them that I allow people to touch me and watch me for payment? God, this is going to go wrong, I know it is. How could it not?

"Arizona…" I yell from the lower level of the lake house.

"Yeah?" She appears at the top of the staircase in nothing but her bra and a pair of jeans.

"For god sake, put a shirt on," I whine. "Your parents will be here soon."

"So?" She furrows her brow.

"So...I cannot meet them with that vision in my head." I point at her naked body. "Please, we have to be serious about this."

"About what?" She sighs as she shrugs her shirt over her shoulders. Slowly taking the stairs, her gorgeous body moves closer to me and her dimples pop. "You're really freaking out, aren't you?"

"No." I scoff. "Why would I be freaking out?"

"Because I can hear you muttering to yourself and whilst I find it adorable, you sound like a crazy person."

"Because I am a crazy person." I laugh. "And you are even crazier for even dating me."

"Hey, lady!" She gives me a knowing look. "Don't you dare talk about my girlfriend like that."

"Arizona…" I groan as her arms wrap around my waist. "This is serious. Can you not just be serious for like thirty seconds?"

"Sure." She nods. "Go for it...thirty seconds!"

"I need you to know that once your parents figure me out…once they see that I'm not good enough for you, it's okay. I know how much they mean to you, and I'd never expect you to lose them because of me. I'd never expect them to welcome me into your family once they know about me…"

"What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that it would be okay to choose them. I'll be okay. Just…I don't want you to worry about it. Any of this. Your parents are your life, and I know that."

"You are my life, Eliza." She pulls me in a little closer, her shirt still open and her bra on show. "I know you are worried, and I know that you think this is all a bad idea, but it's not. It's really not."

"Arizona…you don't understand." I shake my head. "You are the only woman who has ever accepted me for who I am. For what I do. I know it's way too much to ask that your parents accept me too, and I should have realized that this moment would eventually come sooner than I have."

"My parents are going to love you." She gives me a hard glare. "Please, stop worrying. I love you, and you are supposed to be in my life."

"I don't want to tell them…" I admit.

"Then don't." She shrugs. "Do they really need to know what you do?" She raises her eyebrow. "I mean, I don't care if you tell them, but if you aren't comfortable doing that…it's okay."

"So, I could just tell them I'm a dancer," I ask. "They don't need to know what kind of dancing I do?"

"If _you_ would feel better doing that, then yes." She runs her thumb across my cheek. "You know I love you whatever you decide."

"Thank you." I sigh. "Just for calming me."

"Isn't that what I'm here for?" She gives me a full dimpled smile. "Huh?"

"I guess so, yeah." Pulling her against me, I squeeze her tight and give myself a moment to breathe. I know I'm probably worrying about nothing, but it doesn't feel like that. It doesn't feel like this is for nothing. If her parents ever found out what I do, I know it would mean the end of us. I wouldn't put her through her parents disowning her or being distant from her because of me. I accepted the kind of relationships I'd have with people a long time ago, and that will never change.

"You ready?" She pulls back and buttons up her shirt. "Because they've just arrived." My stomach somersaulting, I swallow hard and give her a slight nod. "Baby, you will be fine. I promise." Placing a kiss below my ear, she smiles against my skin and pulls her hair up into a messy bun. "Come on…" Taking my hand in her own, she guides me through our soon to be home and heads for the front door.

Watching as her parents climb from the car and make their way up the decked area, my heart is pounding harder than it ever has. _Ever._ Clearing my throat and releasing a deep breath, I squeeze her hand tight as she pulls the front door open and her parents approach. "Mom…" She gives her an adorable smile. "It's so good to see you."

"Oh, honey." She pulls her daughter into a hug. "I'm so happy you came here."

"Me too, mom." She gives her a nod in agreement. "Hey, dad."

"Hello, peanut." _Okay, that's freaking adorable._ "This must be Eliza?" His voice hard and a little scary, Arizona wraps her arm around my waist and gives her father a nod.

"Yes, Sir…Eliza, my father, Colonel Daniel Robbins."

"Great to meet you, Colonel Robbins." Holding out my hand, he takes it in his own and gives it a firm shake. "Wonderful house you have built, Sir."

"Thank you." He gives me a slight smile and I know that he is wary of me. Perfectly acceptable, though. I am dating his only daughter. Before I have time to even introduce myself to Arizona's mom, I'm being pulled into a bone-crushing hug by her.

"So wonderful to finally meet you, Eliza." Now I know where her daughter gets her hugs from.

"You too, Mrs. Robbins." She pulls back and switches her gaze to Arizona.

"You were right, honey." She throws her a wink. "Absolutely beautiful."

"Now now, Barb." Daniel cuts in. "You're going to make the poor girl run before we've even shared coffee with her."

"Oh hush, Daniel." She rolls her eyes and releases me from her grip. "Your father had a wonderful time traveling here." She says sarcastically to Arizona. "You know...like he always does."

"Yes, mom." She laughs as she moves into the kitchen. "I'm sure dad loved your company."

"Excellent." He mumbles. "Have you ladies had everything you needed here?" He turns to face me and I'm caught a little off guard. "Barbara sent me here a few days ago with everything she could possibly think of, but I'm sure I missed something…"

"No, Sir. Everything has been perfect." I give him a genuine smile and I can feel my girlfriend's eyes on me. "How was your trip?"

"As expected." He throws me a wink and I can't help the laugh that escapes my mouth. "Barbara can be…a little talkative when she knows she will be meeting someone new."

"Right." I smile. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Coffee would be great." He follows me into the kitchen and stands next to his wife. "So, you're back at the lake house, peanut?"

"I am, Dad." She leans back against the counter and smiles. "It's been nice. You know...getting out of the city."

"I always told you that you would rather be here than that place. You just wouldn't listen. Tim, neither."

"Yeah, well you were right." She shrugs.

"Why don't you guys get comfortable and I'll bring our coffee?" I nudge my girlfriend.

"You sure?"

"Mmhmm…" Busying myself in the kitchen, she places a kiss below my ear and takes her parents into the living room. The fire is lit and it's homely, so I'm hoping they will feel at ease whilst I'm here. This place holds a lot of memories for them as a family, and I don't want to feel like I'm in their way. I don't want to be here if it's not what they want. Glancing over my shoulder, Arizona is still watching me, so I guess I should move my ass a little. Her parents seem nice. Her mom is totally her, but I'm still unsure about her father. I get that he's all for authority and discipline, but I don't quite know how to take him just yet. Heading towards them, I set down coffee and everything they need to go with it, and take a seat beside my girlfriend.

"Thank you." She grips my hand and laces our fingers together. "I was just telling my parents how much we love it here…"

"It's beautiful." I agree.

"Do you live in the city, too?" Barbara asks. "Don't you find it a little too hectic?"

"I do, and yes…it's very fast-paced." I nod. "I live a few blocks from Arizona's old place."

"Old place?" Her father furrows his brow and I'm beginning to realize that she hasn't told her parents about our living arrangements. _Way to go, asshole._

"Yes, Dad. Eliza and I live together now." She smiles. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. I just…I've been super busy with work and other things…"

"Perfectly understandable." Her mom smiles. "You two have been getting to know each other."

"We have, mom." She glances my way and her dimples pop. "Eliza works at the coffee shop where I write."

"Oh, I was just about to ask where you two met." Barbara smiles as she leans forward and sweetens her coffee. "Do you enjoy it, Eliza?"

"I do." I shift in my seat a little. "It's one of two jobs that I have. The other is more of a hobby, though."

"Oh, and what is your hobby?" She perks up.

"I'm a dancer." Arizona squeezes my hand.

"That's fantastic." She smiles. "Isn't that fantastic, Daniel. A writer and a dancer. Very creative."

"Yeah, I'd like to think so."

"Oh, Arizona. I'm so happy for you, honey." Nudging her husband, Barbara encourages him to join in on our conversation.

"Thanks, mom." My girlfriend breathes what I believe to be a sigh of relief. "I uh, I was wondering if I could speak to you both about something?"

"What is it, peanut?" Daniel sits forward. "Are you in trouble, honey?"

"What? No!" Arizona laughs. "Just...you know you always wanted me to have this place?"

"Mmhmm." He nods.

"Well, I'd like to take it now." She clears her throat. "I'd like to live here…"

"You would?" He furrows his brow. "Are you sure?"

"I am." She nods. " _We_ are."

"Oh, thank god." He clasps his hands together. "I hate you living in the city. It's not safe. That's why I built this home for you and Tim. I just…I'll sleep better knowing you are here." Wow, that went better than I expected. "When will you be taking over this place?"

"In a few weeks?" She glances at me and raises her eyebrow. "How does that sound to you?"

"Whatever you want, Arizona." I run my thumb over the back of her hand. "Just give me the heads up and I'll be ready to go."

"Yeah?" She smiles as she leans in a little closer. "You're ready to go whenever?"

"I am. If that's what you want." I smile as she presses her lips to my mouth. A soft sigh from her mom and I know that I have her approval at least.

"I'll have the paperwork drawn up." Daniel clears his throat. "If you're sure you want this, Arizona?"

"I am, dad. I definitely want it." She agrees. My cell buzzing on the kitchen counter, I excuse myself for a moment and try to silence the device. Hitting accept, I rush out towards the lake and take my call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Girl." My best friends voice piercing through the phone, I smile to myself. "I miss you. I went to your place twice but you haven't been around."

"Sorry, I'll be home tomorrow." I try to reassure Jay. "Arizona took me away for the weekend. Is everything okay?"

"I don't know." He sighs. "There have been rumors. Rumours about you, Lize."

"What kind of rumors?" I furrow my brow.

"Did something happen at the club?" He asks. "Did someone hurt you?"

"Jay, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I just...I didn't want to worry you." I breathe out. "I'm okay and Arizona has been amazing. I just…come and see me tomorrow, okay? I have some stuff to tell you."

"Promise me, Eliza. Promise me that you are okay?"

"I am," I reply. "Maddie is in town and I'm taking a break from things. That's all. He hurt me, but I'm okay. Just some cuts and bruises."

"Just some cuts and bruises?" He scoffs. "Who is he? I'll fucking kill him!"

"Jay, calm down." I smile. "The police have him and Arizona's best friend has offered me her representation if I need it."

"I'm coming to see you tomorrow. I need to hug you."

"I'd love a hug from you." I agree. "But I really have to go. I'm in the middle of meeting the parents."

"Oh my god! You're a braver woman than I'll ever be, honey. I love you and I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye, Jay. Love you, too." Ending the call, I lock my cell and slip it into my back pocket. The cool breeze hitting my face, it reminds me that I'm here and everything is good. I mean, relationship-wise…we've never been so perfect. My own life and career may be a little up in the air right now, but Arizona is enough to keep me grounded. She is enough to keep me sane for the rest of my life. Pushing off of the wooden railing, I turn and find Daniel approaching me. "Colonel Robbins." I give him a smile.

"Do you have a couple of minutes, Eliza?"

"Sure. Of course." I agree and move back towards the lake with him.

"I love my daughter." He states. _Okay?_ "She is all Barbara and I have left. I know she knows exactly what she is doing, but I need your word, too. I need to know that you want this, too."

"I want Arizona to be happy…" I shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans.

"I know you love her." He glances out over the lake. "And I know she loves you. I can see it. That look she has right now is the only look I ever want to see on her face. Happiness."

"Me too, Sir."

"I don't allow people into our family very easily, Eliza, but something tells me that my daughter deserves this. This home. With you." He clears his throat. "You know, this is the first time she has been here since Tim died."

"R-Really?" I furrow my brow. I know she said she stopped coming here, but I didn't realize she hadn't been here at all since he passed away. Since he gave his life for our messed up country.

"She just…stopped coming." He shrugs. "I had to keep it up, though. I knew one day she would find a reason to come back here…and you are that reason, Eliza. She wants to share this place with you."

"Wow…" I breathe out. Seems this trip has been healing for the both of us. "I'm thankful that she brought me here. I needed the peacefulness of this place, too."

"You both look happy." He turns to face me. "And that is all I need to know for me to hand this place over to her. To both of you."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Daniel." He holds out his hand and gives me a firm handshake. A little less aggressive than before. "Call me Daniel."

"Thank you, Daniel." Giving him a smile, he motions for us to head back to the house. "Can, um…can I ask you something?" He stops and gives me a nod.

"Of course. What is it?"

"One day...I don't know when but I know it's what I want." I clear my throat. "I'd like to ask Arizona to marry me."

"Yes." He smiles.

"Y-Yes?" A small smile creeps onto my lips. "You give me your blessing?"

"I do, Eliza." He gives me a look that is filled with nothing but certainty. "Just...don't let me down." He gives my shoulder a squeeze. "Don't let my daughter down."

"I won't." I breathe out. "Never."

"Then I look forward to one day receiving that call from her…" Following my girlfriend's father back up towards _our_ house, a feeling has settled within me and I've never felt so sure or certain about anything in my life. I've never felt so incredibly blessed in my life. My sister may be back in the city, and the guy who attacked me may also be there…but I'm ready to go back. I'm ready to go back so we can pack up this life and move it out here. We may only be a short distance from city life, but when I'm here…I feel like I'm a million miles away from the yellow taxis and the bustling life of office workers. I feel like I belong.

 _I'll always belong with her. My Arizona…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	50. Chapter 50

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Mom and Dad have just left the lake house, and something about my girlfriend is different. I don't know what, and I'm not worried, but she is definitely different right now. She seems…happier? I don't know. I know dad followed her outside a little while ago, and yeah…I was watching them, but I don't know what their conversation involved. I mean, I'm pretty sure it involved me, but I don't know if dad was calm with Eliza or whether he was asking of her intentions. _I hate it when he does that. This isn't 1950._ I know he means well and I know he is just trying to protect me, but something tells me that isn't what happened. Something tells me that his talk with Eliza went well and I have nothing to worry about. Something tells me that he likes my girlfriend. Its just as well really, since she is here to stay. Feeling her presence behind me, I'm sitting at the counter sipping on coffee and her energy is totally different to how it was earlier today. "I love you…" She breathes against my ear.

"I love you, too." Her arms wrapping around my waist, she places a kiss on my cheek and I smile, leaning into her touch. "You doing okay?" I ask. "You seem different to this morning."

"Amazing." She sighs. "I'm feeling amazing."

"Good." I furrow my brow as I turn on my stool. "Is there a particular reason why?"

"Your parents are lovely people." She shrugs. "I mean, I figured they would be since you are so amazing, but I just feel good about everything to come."

"You sure you want to live here?" I ask. "It's totally fine if you don't want to…at least, not yet."

"I do." She nods. "And I wanted to talk to you about that, actually?"

"O…kay." I draw out. "What's up?"

"Nothing is up." She shakes her head. "Just…can we head home today?"

"You want to leave? Already?" I wrinkle my nose. "If you want to live here, you aren't doing such a good job at convincing me…"

"I want to leave so that we can go home and get things sorted." She smiles. "Why wait?"

"Y-Yeah?" I stutter. This totally isn't how I saw this day going, but she wants to move things forward and I'd be lying if I said I didn't. "You want to do this? Honestly…"

"I really do, Arizona." She agrees. "The sooner the better I think, too."

"Well, okay then." A slight laugh falls from my mouth. "Better get packed up here before you change your mind…" Jumping down from my seat, she tugs at my wrist and pulls me back into her body.

"There is zero chance of me changing my mind." Pressing a kiss to my lips, she smiles against my mouth and hums. "My life is with you, Arizona…and that life is about to be here."

"I'm so happy you didn't reject the idea." I smile.

"How could I ever reject the idea?" She furrows her brow. "You want to share this place with me, and that means the absolute world and more. This is a special place to you, and your family…and you want me to be a part of it. To me, that is incredible and I never imagined I'd be given the chance to share something so beautiful. I never imagined I'd get the chance to share my life with you…"

"It's still crazy when I think about it now," I admit. "You know, how we met. The back and forth. The uncertainty."

"Do you still feel any of those things anymore?" She asks, her grip around my waist tightening.

"No, never." I shake my head slightly. "Because I know that what we have is real. I mean, of all the relationships I've been in? This one is the only one I can safely say I know I truly belong in. It's the only one where I feel like myself."

"That's all on you, though." She gives me a knowing look. "I mean, I haven't done anything to make you feel that way."

"You are joking, right?" A scoff falling from my mouth, she furrows her brow and that is my cue to elaborate a little more. "Sure, we are just us…but you have made me feel like my true self. You have brought so much out of me and I will always be thankful for that. Don't ever think that you haven't changed my life, Eliza. You really have." A tear slipping down her cheek, she drops her gaze and I curl my fingers underneath her chin. "Hey…" I smile. "Look at me?"

"Sorry, I just…"

"You just what?" I ask, my voice soft.

"I just didn't think I'd ever find anyone. Especially not someone like you. Someone who is beautiful in every sense of the word. I mean, I know we have our moments and I know that sometimes I'm in hot stripper mode…but that is still me and you accept every single side of me."

"I always told you I loved all sides of you." Running my thumb across her bottom lip, she smiles and her eyes close. "I always told you I didn't care about anything else so long as we could meet at the end of the day and fall back into us. We did that, and look at the end result? Look how amazing this has been."

"I'm so proud of you, Arizona." Her words barely above a whisper, she presses a kiss to my lips and pulls back. "Not just your writing and how amazing it is, but everything about you makes me beam with pride. Like, I feel as though I'll never be able to tell enough people in this world that you're mine. I feel like I'll never be able to truly show you and everyone else how much I love you."

"I know how much you love me." I place a kiss on her lips. "That is all that matters…"

"I know that, but it's so intense that some days I don't know how I'm still breathing. Some days I wonder if I'll be able to function without you."

"God, I love you." I breathe out as I pull her into a strong hug. "So much, Eliza."

"I love you, too."

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Reaching home, I'm not sure I've ever felt this in love. I mean, I know how much we love each other, but the past few days have brought us closer together, for sure. They've brought us closer together in so many ways. Eliza freaked out at the prospect of meeting my parents but it was adorable. Like, she's always so strong and never phased by anything, so seeing her so vulnerable was nice in some weird sort of way. I guess it just showed me that my girlfriend isn't invincible. I know everybody has their moments, but Eliza doesn't have many of those at all. She very rarely lets that side come out for people to see, me included. Little things like that make me fall in love with her all over again. They really do. I don't know if its the idea of seeing something new from her, or whether I just like to experience the unsure side of her, but I'll take it all day long. She is right in what she said before. She does use the stripper facade more often than not, but it is still her. It's a part of her. It's who she is. Sure, it may just be a front, but it is still her to some extent. I wouldn't ever change that about her. _We do still have to discuss her job, though._

Climbing from the cab, I round the back and pull our bags from the trunk. This day has taken it out of us emotionally, but we will climb into bed together tonight and sleep peacefully. At least, I will…for the first time since her attack. She hasn't said much about it since we arrived at the lake house, but I think she is processing it in her own way. Sure, I want her to open up to me, but she already knows she can do that. She already knows that I'm here to listen anytime she needs an ear. "You got everything?" I ask as I grab some bags.

"Got everything I need right beside me…" Throwing me a wink, a slight blush creeps up my neck and she rolls her eyes. "What? I do…"

"So cheesy sometimes…" I laugh.

"But would you have me any other way?" She raises her eyebrow and leans into the side of my body. "Would you ever want me to be less cheesy?"

"Never." I shake my head. "I love you and your cheesiness."

"Good because there is plenty more where that came from." Pulling her keys from her pocket, she forces the door open with her hip and falls inside. "God, it's good to be home."

"Yeah…" I sigh, a familiar scent hitting me as I follow my girlfriend inside.

"I didn't mean this particular home." She turns to face me. "I just meant with you. You know, since my home is with you?"

"I know what you meant. Don't worry." Giving her a genuine smile, I drop our bags to the floor and head straight for the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Coffee would be good." She agrees as she takes her cell from her back pocket. "Jay has texted me again."

"Invite him over." I shrug. "He's missed you and he is worried about you…"

"I know, but we have just got back."

"So?" I furrow my brow. "We don't have any plans for the rest of the night, do we?"

"Not really." She shakes her head. "Are you sure its okay to invite him over?"

"Of course, it is." I laugh. "Maybe he could stay for dinner?"

"I'll see what he says." She moves into the living room and drops down onto the couch. Watching her as she hits the screen of her cell, a small smile creeps onto my face and I know that she is doing better than when we left here a few days ago. I know that it was just what she needed. It was what I needed, too. I felt like I couldn't breathe here. I felt like I needed to escape from the city so I could be with my thoughts. My feelings. I totally made the right choice in taking Eliza to the lake house, and honestly…it may have been the best decision I've ever made. "He's headed over now. He's only a block away."

"Good." I smile as she glances my way. "Did you want some time alone with him, or?"

"For what?" She furrows her brow.

"I don't know." I shrug as I approach her with a cup of coffee. "Wasn't sure if you wanted to talk everything out with him."

"And you need to _not_ be here for that?" She asks, a look of total confusion on her face.

"No, I just mean…if you want to talk to him about anything and you don't want me around, I can disappear for a little while."

"No, I want you here with me." She shakes her head. "Anything I have to say to him can be said with you here."

"If you're sure?" I raise my eyebrow.

"I am." The sound of a loud knocking on our front door, she attempts to stand but I hold up my hands and head for the sound. Pulling the door open, Jay comes rushing inside and wraps his arms around me.

"Is she okay?" He cries. "Is my Eliza okay?"

"She's okay." I pull back and give him a smile. "I'm not sure you are, though."

"I need to see her Arizona. Please, can I see her?" He begs.

"Of course, you can." I laugh. "She's in the living room. We've just got back."

"Thank you so much." He hugs me again and rushes off to his best friend. "Oh, Lize." Following behind him, I give her a sad smile as she is pulled into a bone-crushing hug. "I've been so worried about you…don't ever leave like that again."

"Jay, relax." She pulls back. "Arizona and I just went away for a few days."

"I know, but I thought something had happened to you." He sighs as he slumps back against the couch. "I thought they'd let him out and he'd kidnapped you…"

"A little dramatic, but okay." She laughs. "Jay, I'm fine. Look…see." She stands and holds out her arms. "I'm good. Arizona looked after me."

"Thank you so much." He turns to face me. "I love you."

"I love you too?" I furrow my brow and approach them both. Taking a seat on the edge of the coffee table, he takes my hands in his own and breathes what I can only assume is a sigh of relief. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"I am now that I've seen you guys." He nods. "Just…the drama queen in me."

"I'm sure that's not true." I smile. "I know you are worried about her, but everything is okay here."

"It is." Eliza agrees. "But I do have some news for you…"

"What?" He has a look of worry on his face.

"We are moving." She clears her throat. "Just out of the city."

"W-Why?" He furrows his brow. "Did he threaten you, Lize?"

"No, he didn't." She shakes her head and gives him a sad smile. "We just want to be out of the city. A lake house to be exact."

"Can I visit?" His voice breaks.

"Of course, you can visit." She wraps her arm around his shoulder and he buries his head in the crook of her neck. My hands still in his own. I didn't expect to be comforting her best friend tonight, but whatever. If it's what he needs…it is what he will get. "We just have some stuff to work out here and then we are gone, Jay. You know you can visit anytime you like, though."

"Is this what you both want?" He asks, his tone turning a little more serious. "You aren't doing this because of him?"

"No." We both reply in unison. "I mean, I guess it played a part in our decision, but we want the quiet life, Jay." Eliza gives him a reassuring smile. "I can still work in the city, Arizona too, but it will be nice to drive out of here at the end of the day and fall asleep beside a lake. Don't you think?"

"Mm…" He smiles. "Kinda like a retreat, I guess?"

"Exactly." She nods. "And you will have a new setting for your yoga."

"My yoga?" He scoffs. "Girl, it's _our_ yoga."

"Right, yeah." My girlfriend smiles.

"Just…don't become strangers, please?" He switches his gaze between us both. "I need you to promise me?"

"We won't," I reassure him. "You know, I'll be heading off on a book tour in the future. Maybe you could stay with Eliza? Keep her company?"

"I'd love that." He smiles. "If it would be okay with you, Arizona?"

"So long as you keep your hands to yourself." I throw him a wink and he laughs. "Then there shouldn't be any problems."

"Girl, your girl will be safe with me…don't worry."

"Oh, I'm not worried." I shrug. "I know you love her a lot."

"I do." He wraps his arms around her once more. "More than she knows sometimes."

"Mm…you and me both." I laugh. "Now, are you staying for dinner?"

"Depends…" He narrows his eyes. "Are we plotting his death?"

"That could totally happen." I stand, a laugh falling from my mouth. "But first…Maddie is the one who needs to be dealt with."

"W-Why?" He furrows his brow and turns back to his best friend. "Don't tell me she had something to do with this?"

"Yeah." Eliza sighs.

"Fucking bitch!" He spits. "I knew she would bring bad news, she always does."

Yeah…and I should have listened to Eliza when she told me exactly that." I sigh.

"Hey…no more of that." My girlfriend gives me a knowing look. "None of this was your fault."

"Oh, girl…" Jay stands and shakes his head. "That bitch pulls everyone in. You aren't the first and you certainly won't be the last."

"I know, but I still should have trusted her word." I give him an awkward smile. "When she told me about Maddie, I should have listened."

"And I should have when she told me, too." He shrugs. "Instead, I invited her into my home and she trashed the place when she had a party back in California."

"Wow." I breathe out. "Seems I'm not the only one to have fallen for her split personality, huh?"

"No, honey…you're not." He squeezes my shoulder. "She is an absolute bitch of the highest order and she spends her life trying to ruin others. Now you know, you will be better prepared next time."

"Oh…" I shake my head as I move towards the takeout menus. "There won't be a next time."

 _There will never be a next time where Maddie is concerned. Never…._

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. In case this fic isn't updated before Christmas, I hope every one of you has an amazing day.**

 **Merry Christmas, Guys. All the best. Xxx**


	51. Chapter 51

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-One

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ELIZA'S POV

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"Yes, mom…I know I haven't called in a while but I've been kinda busy." Rolling my eyes as my mom chastises me, Arizona furrows her brow and watches my interaction.

"Well, are you coming home to visit?" She asks.

"No, I can't come home to visit right now. I have a lot on."

"Is your sister still in New York? I haven't heard from her either. Seems you have both forgotten about me."

"I haven't forgotten about you, mom, and I don't know where Maddie is. I don't care, either." I sigh. "I'm sure she is fine wherever she is."

"You shouldn't speak about her like that, Eliza. She is your sister for god sake."

"Mm, and maybe when she remembers that, I won't speak about her the way I do."

"She's had a bad time…"

"Don't, mom." I spit. "Don't dare try and tell me how bad she has it. You have no idea what she has put me through."

"I'm sure it can be resolved." My mom has a pleading in her voice but I'm genuinely not interested.

"And I'm sure it can't." I laugh. "Look, I just called to tell you that I'm moving home. I'll send you the address once we are settled. You are not to give it to Maddie, though."

"Who is we?" She asks.

"Oh, uh…I meant to tell you." I clear my throat and Arizona watches me intently. "I have a girlfriend. We've been together for about eight months."

"Eight months!" She shrieks. "And you are only telling me now?"

"Like I said…I've been busy."

"Is she another dancer?" I know she worries about the people I date, but she has no reason to worry about Arizona. "Eliza?"

"No, mom. She's a writer."

"Oh, how lovely." I can hear the uncertainty in her voice but I'm not concerned. "And you are sure moving in together is the right decision? You know how your relationships generally go, honey."

"I'm more than sure, mom."

"Is she okay with your career?" She asks.

"She's perfectly fine with my career." Arizona gives me a sad smile. "And you will love her, mom."

"Well, I look forward to meeting her one day." She sighs. "I don't expect that to be anytime soon, though, since you have trouble communicating with me."

"Mom, I've told you I'm sorry." I roll my eyes. "I promise to arrange something soon. Arizona has to work soon but I'm sure we can take a few days to come out to you…or you can come here?" I raise an eyebrow and my girlfriend gives me a nod. "You will love our new place. It's beautiful."

"Beautiful?" She clears her throat. "I've never heard you refer to anything as beautiful, Eliza Minnick."

"Yeah well, I guess times change, mom." Smiling to myself, I release a slight sigh. "So, I have to go now but I'll call you once I'm settled."

"Okay, honey. Take care of yourself. I love you."

"You too, mom. Love you." Ending the call, I place my cell down on the counter and Arizona approaches me. "Sorry, I didn't expect to get twenty questions from her."

"Maybe if you called her more often, she wouldn't have so many questions." She gives me a knowing look and rests against the kitchen counter. "Why didn't you tell her about me?"

"I've barely spoken to her since I moved here." I shrug. "I also had to be sure that we would last because I know how she gets."

"I guess that's okay then." She drops her gaze and pushes off the counter. "I'm going to finish loading up the boxes, okay?"

"Sure." I watch her body language and I think she's a little annoyed that I didn't tell my mother about our relationship. It wasn't for any other reason. I love my girlfriend and I want everyone to know we are together. "I'll be out in a few."

"Don't worry about it." She waves off my comment as she heads for the front door. "I've got it." Okay, so she is mad at me. I have to talk this out with her before it gets any worse. We both know that it often escalates if we don't fix it before it's too late. We are moving to the lake house today and I really don't want or need anything to get in the way of it.

We've been home for two weeks and in those two weeks, we have been better than ever. I think meeting her parents was the next step and it's brought us even closer, and now is the time to take another step. I know we already live together, but this feels different. It feels like we've bought our first home together and honestly, that feeling is nothing short of amazing. I don't know why I'm so excited about moving, but I am. I can't wait to get out of the city and I can't wait to just relax in the quiet and the calm. I haven't heard sight nor sound of Maddie since she came here a few weeks ago, and I'm hoping it stays that way. The fact that I'm moving out of the city makes avoiding her so much easier, too. She's still here, Jay saw her last week, but thankfully, she has left me alone. She's left _us_ alone. I can't really ask for any more than that.

Heading for the front door, Arizona appears in the doorway, a little out of breath. "You're mad at me," I state, leaning against the door.

"I'm not." She shrugs as she attempts to bend down and grab another box. Stopped by my hand on her wrist, she drops her gaze. "Eliza, I really want to get the last of this stuff in the car."

"It can wait for five minutes." I keep my grip firmly on her wrist. "Please?"

"I'm fine, Eliza."

"You're not, but whatever." Turning my body a little, I'm now blocking her access to the boxes and she has no choice but to either hear me out or walk away. "I didn't not tell mom about you because I didn't want to. I just…I needed us to be good. I knew I'd have you. I knew we would be amazing together, but I needed it to be concrete."

"Still…" She shrugs. "I feel like an afterthought."

"Hey, no." I bring my hand up to her face and run my thumb across her cheek. "That's not true. You are the only thing that is constantly on my mind. I just didn't want anything to go wrong."

"Why would it have made any difference?"

"I managed to keep my sister away for seven months." I sigh. "If she'd have known earlier, she would have been here months ago."

"And once again." She shakes her head. "It all comes back to your sister."

"You can't do that anymore." I give her a sad smile. "You can't tell me that I'm obsessing anymore because you now know exactly what she is like."

"I know, I'm just sick of hearing about her." She sighs. "Everything revolves around her and her choices in life."

"Not anymore, though." I shake my head. "Now is our time and everyone else can go to hell for all I care." Wrapping my arms around her waist, she drops her gaze a little and I curl my fingers under her chin. "Arizona, I love you and I swear I wasn't hiding you away."

"Okay." She gives me a slight nod but I'm not entirely sure she is hearing me.

"Baby, I love you more than anything in this world and today we are moving to the lake house. I want my life with you, and you know that."

"Eliza, it's okay." She gives me a knowing look. "Let's just get finished up here so we can get out of this god damn city."

"You believe me, right?"

"Yeah." She gives me a small smile. "Come on, only a few boxes to go."

* * *

We've been in our new home for a couple of hours now, and it's perfect. Sure there are boxes everywhere, but it's still perfect. The fire is lit, we've shared dinner together, and now we are slowly but surely making this space ours. I'd like to believe that everything is okay, but my girlfriend has been a little quiet since the phone call I shared with my mother. Maybe my lack of conversation about her really has hit her harder than I expected, but I didn't mean anything by it. I was just keeping her to myself for as long as I could. Once everyone knew, I knew people would try to get involved. I mean, my mother has already made a comment about whether Arizona is right for me and if I'm making the right decision, and I really didn't need that a few months ago when my girlfriend and I were still getting to know each other. I didn't need anyone else meddling, and I still don't now. I'm a grown woman for god sake…if people could leave me to make up my own mind, that would be really fucking awesome.

"Hey, where do you want this box?" I pull Arizona from whatever she is doing and she turns to face me.

"What does it say?"

"Personal." I shrug. "Should I just leave it somewhere or did you want me to unpack it?"

"N-No, it's okay." She approaches me and takes it from my hand. "I'll unpack it some other time."

"Okay." I study her face. "Don't worry, I'm not about to go snooping. It says personal, and I understand that."

"It's just some stuff." She shrugs as she moves into the living room with it. "Nothing important."

"It's personal to you, so I'm sure it has some importance."

"Yeah, just…it can wait." She clears her throat. "The few boxes I have through here are for the bedroom."

"Wanna do them together, or?" Wiggling my eyebrows, she gives me a small smile and shakes her head. "What?"

"I think I'm done for the rest of the evening."

"Oh, okay." I furrow my brow. "I'm thinking maybe a bath would do me some good."

"Want me to fix that up for you?" I ask. "While you finish whatever you're doing?"

"Sure, that would be nice." Giving her a nod, I head for the staircase and take them slowly. Glancing back over my shoulder, I find her running her hand over the box I gave her a few minutes ago and I can see the heaviness in her shoulders. I'm going to assume it's a box filled with memories, but I could be wrong. _I don't think I am, though._

Deciding to leave her alone for a few minutes, I make my way down the landing and into the bathroom. It's beautiful in here, and the huge windows make me want to take many many baths. The view of the lake probably the best from in this room, I turn the taps and add some of Arizona's favorite scents. Taking a seat on the edge of the tub, I look out at the gorgeous expansive view and I've never felt so settled in my life. I loved my home in the city, but this place has it all. This place could draw anyone in. It drew me in the moment I stepped foot in here, but I didn't think it would be our new home. I didn't think I'd have the absolute pleasure of waking to this view every morning.

Sighing as I hear footsteps approaching, I glance over my shoulder and find my girlfriend watching me from the doorway. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Incredible," I reply. "I can't quite believe it's ours."

"Well, it is." She pushes off the doorframe and heads further into the room. "I always knew one day I'd live here…I just needed to take my head out of my ass and make the decision."

"I may not have met you had you decided sooner, though." I give her a sad smile. "You wouldn't spend your life in the coffee shop if you lived here before today…"

"Maybe not." She agrees. "All the more reason to believe that this place was supposed to be taken when it was."

"You think?" She drops down beside me on the edge of the tub. "You think I was always supposed to be here with you?"

"I do." She nods. "I'm sorry for being moody today." Lacing our fingers together, she brings my hand up to her mouth and places a soft kiss on my knuckles.

"So long as we are okay, I don't mind your moodiness." She gives me a smile and rests her head on my shoulder. "I'm so happy I'm here with you."

"Wanna watch the stars with me?" She lifts her head and raises her eyebrow.

"From where?" I ask. "I thought you wanted to take a bath?"

"I do, and it's the perfect place to watch them." She smiles as she stands and heads for the light switch. "If you don't mind the darkness?"

"Not at all." I turn the taps off and the room has a light sheen of steam hanging low. Grabbing two huge fluffy towels, my girlfriend sets them down close by and begins stripping her clothes from her body.

"Can you slide the doors open?" She asks as she slips her panties over her thighs and steps into the bathtub. "Oh god, that feels amazing." Moaning as she sinks her body down into the deep water, the only thing illuminating the bathroom is the full moon outside. Removing my own clothes, I join her in the tub and sit comfortably between her legs. "Feel good?" She smiles as she rests her chin on my shoulder.

"So good." Melting into her body, a low moan rumbles in my own throat and this is definitely going to be the perfect ending to an almost perfect day. "I love you…" I breathe out as my eyes close and Arizona's chest rises and falls against my back. "More than you could ever know."

"I know you do." She whispers as her arms wrap around my waist beneath the water and she presses a kiss below my ear. "I love you, too."

"What's in the box?" I ask, my voice low and soft.

"Memories." She replies. "An entire lifetime of memories."

"Maybe you'll share them with me one day…" I suggest, her grip tightening around my waist. "If you ever want to?"

"I'd love to." She agrees. "One day." Simply nodding at her reply, I glance out of the open doors, and yeah…the stars look incredible tonight. "So, this is us, huh?"

"It is." I glance over my shoulder and give her a smile. "Pretty perfect, I'd say."

"I'd say you are right." She sinks a little deeper into the water and pulls my body back against her. "I love this. Just us…no one around for miles."

"Yeah. I mean, the city is great for convenience, but who needs convenience when we can be here away from it all?"

"It's why dad built the place…" She shrugs. "He always said that one day the city would become too much and he wanted Tim and I to have somewhere we could escape to."

"Your dad is a very smart man."

"Mmhmm, and he knows it too." My girlfriend laughs. "He's always had our best interests at heart, though, and I love him for that."

"He is kinda awesome." I agree. "Even if I was terrified of meeting him at first."

"He's a good man. One who will welcome you into our family like his own."

"That means a lot." I smile as I toy with Arizona's fingertips. "All of this means so much to me."

"You deserve it." She places a kiss on top of my head. "Everything we have, we both deserve. Each other, more so than anything else."

"Wanna take an early night?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." She agrees. "Tomorrow is a new day and we can really get going with this place. Just…can we just be us tonight?"

"We can just be us every night, Arizona." Silence falling between us, I can feel the tension disappearing from her body. It makes me feel better to know that she is a little more relaxed, and that's how I always want it to be here. Calm. Loving. Nothing but happiness around us. If there is any place in the world where that is possible, it's here. It's totally here.

 _Anywhere my girlfriend is, anything is possible…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

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It's been almost a month since Eliza's attack, and she is doing so much better. I am, too. I know I didn't experience it first hand, but I was struggling. I was struggling way more than I thought I ever would in a situation like that. I'd like to believe that I'm the strong one who can help someone through something like that, but it hit me hard, and I'm not sure I was any help to my girlfriend at all. I'm sure I was, and I'm sure she appreciates me being here for her, but I could have been better. I could have handled it better. I don't know how and I hope I never have to be involved in anything like that again, but yeah…personally, I believe I could have been a better girlfriend to Eliza. Maybe even a better friend in general, too.

We've been at the lake house for just under a week and honestly, it's been amazing. I know at the moment neither of us are working, but that will have to change at some point. Eliza is back at the coffee shop, but the weekends are rolling on by and she hasn't once mentioned the club. Maybe she is just enjoying being here and away from that kind of life, but I do think we have to discuss it. It isn't as simple as just brushing it under the carpet. It isn't as simple as avoiding what we know we have to talk about. Maybe she has her reasons for avoiding the subject, or maybe she has simply forgotten…either way, I need to know how she is feeling about it all. I need to know whether she ever sees herself as a dancer again. I'll stand by her whatever she decides, but in my heart, I know what I want the outcome to be. I know I want her to leave and _never_ step foot in that place again.

Slowly taking the stairs, my feet hit the lower level and I find my girlfriend standing out at the lake. She's been taking herself off a lot since we've been here, but that's the kind of effect this place has on people. It makes them think. It makes them question their choices and decisions in life. I just hope that Eliza knows she can choose _not_ to return to the club. I hope she knows that she doesn't have to go back there to show that she isn't afraid. She doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. Heading out onto the decking, she hears me approaching and turns to face me, her smile beaming and spreading further across her gorgeous features. "Hey, did you want me to fix us some coffee?" She asks.

"No, I'm good for now." I smile. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." She shakes her head and motions for me to come a little closer. "Figured you were busy doing whatever so I left you to it."

"Oh, I was just changing a few things around." I shrug. "You got things on your mind?" Lacing our fingers together, I stand at the waters edge with my girlfriend and I know something is on her mind. "Anything you want to talk about? Work, maybe?"

"Work?" She furrows her brow. "Work has been fine."

"No, not that work." I give her a sad smile. "The _other_ work."

"You mean the club?" Glancing out over the still water, I can see the worry on her face. "What about it?"

"Have you thought about what you are going to do?"

"No." She sighs. "I mean, I have…but I don't know what my decision is yet."

"Have you spoken to the boss at all?" I ask, trying not to pressure her too much.

"He called a few days ago." Shrugging, she turns to face me with unshed tears in her eyes. "He wants me back."

"O...kay." I wait for her to give me a little more.

"What if I can't do it?" Her voice breaks a little. "What if I get in there and it all goes wrong?"

"I understand that you are worried, and you have every right to be…but I guess you won't know until you go there."

"What if people know what happened?" She drops her gaze. "Clients. They'll think I wanted it and it might happen again."

"Your regular clients know you well, Eliza. Do you really think they believe you wanted what happened to happen?" I run my thumb across her cheek and she leans into my touch. "Do you really think everyone in there thinks like that creep?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "I just…maybe."

"If you don't want to do this, you don't have to, Eliza. If you don't want to go back there, it's totally fine."

"It's not, though." She shakes her head. "I need to be bringing money in. For us."

"I don't care about the money." I pull her closer towards me and wrap my arms around her waist. "I care about you, and _only_ you."

"Still...I have to work, Arizona. I'll go insane if I don't."

"You have your job at the coffee shop," I reply. "You like it there, right?"

"I do, but it's not enough." She gives me a sad smile. "I love working there, but dancing is what I'm supposed to do." _Yeah, you are also supposed to feel safe doing what you love but look how that turned out._ "I know you probably don't understand, but it's where I feel like I belong, Arizona. It's my home."

"Okay." I sigh. "Then I guess you've already decided."

"I guess I have." She agrees. "Just…be there for me, okay?"

"I'll always be there for you…"

"I know, but I also know that you are worried, too. I can see it in your eyes."

"Of course, I'm worried." I scoff. "What kind of person would I be if I wasn't worried?"

"I'll be okay." She smiles. "It's never happened before now…"

"Yeah." I give her a nod. "Just...really think about it before you call him, okay?"

"I will." She agrees. "The detective called me, too." She clears her throat. "He, uh…the guy has been charged but he also wanted to offer me compensation. For the attack."

"He did?" I furrow my brow. "How fucking kind of him."

"I know." She laughs, her body shuddering as a cool breeze whips up around us. "Let's get inside." Pulling me towards our home, we step into the warmth and I close the doors behind me. "I didn't accept anything yet."

"How much?" I ask.

"One point five."

"One point five what?" I swallow hard.

"Million." She states. "Turns out he is a top businessman based in London but from New York."

"Take it," I respond. "Even if you don't want to, take it."

"Oh, I am." She nods. "I'll do something useful with it. I don't know what yet, but I will. I'll figure something out."

"Seems some people do have a conscience after all, huh?" Raising an eyebrow, I round the kitchen counter and pull a bottle of red out, followed by two glasses. "Want one?"

"Sure." She shrugs. "I need to get back into shape before I go back to work anyway so what's the harm in a few glasses?"

"You don't need to get into shape." I roll my eyes. "You look incredible all of the time."

"I'm looking forward to running the grounds of this place, though." She smiles. "Maybe you could join me when I get back into my routine?"

"I'd like that." Handing my girlfriend a glass of wine, we move into the living room and take the couch nearest to the roaring fire. "Just…I don't know if I can keep up with you."

"I'll go slow…" She throws me a wink. "As slow as you like." Her hand ghosting up my thigh, my eyes close and I take my wine glass between my teeth. "Sometimes slow is good…"

"Mm…" I agree.

"So good."

* * *

So, it turns out red wine makes my girlfriend a little hot under the collar. Had I known this a while ago, I'd have forced it down her throat at any given opportunity. Although, I can't say she really needs any encouragement where our sex life is concerned. It's perfect how it is. Her fingertips toying with my own as we lay breathlessly on the couch, naked, I can't help but wonder if she has used sex as a means of avoiding conversation tonight. I'd never turn her down, but the discussion we had about the club earlier ended quicker than it started in my opinion. I know I said I don't want to pressure her, but she made the decision quicker than I thought she would. "Stop thinking…" She runs her fingertips up my bare stomach and presses a kiss to my chest.

"Sorry." I glance down at her and give her a small smile. "Just…you're going back," I say, more to remind myself than a question.

"I am." She nods.

"When?"

"Probably next week." Shrugging, she shifts a little and rests her head on my chest. "Maybe Wednesday?"

"Oh, that soon?" Even I can hear the worry in my voice so I know she can, too. "I mean, are you sure you want to go back that soon?"

"It's been almost a month, Arizona."

"So? There isn't a timescale on this kind of thing…you know that, right?"

"I do, but if I don't go back right now, I'll never go back." _Mm, I'm not sure that is such a bad thing._ "You said it yourself…I don't know how I'll be until I get back in there."

"I just want you to make the right choice." I sigh. "I know what I said, but I didn't mean for you to go back next week. I figured maybe another month or so."

"Paul will look for someone else if he waits that long for me to go back, Arizona." Sitting up on her elbow, she studies my face and I can't look at her right now. "Hey…"

"I know." I shake my head. "You know what you're doing. You're making the right decision. You'll be fine. Blah blah." Sitting up, I grab my shirt from the back of the couch and shrug it over my shoulders. "It doesn't mean I can't worry about you, though." Climbing from the couch, I add another log to the fire and move into the kitchen. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Nothing." She furrows her brow. "At least, not until you tell me what that was about?"

"It doesn't matter." I breathe out. "I've already told you I'll stand by your decision, so I will. Whatever you think is best for you…" Turning my back, I brace myself against the kitchen counter and close my eyes. I know she is her own person and it's all about what she thinks is right, but knowing now that she is heading back to the club, I don't feel good. I don't like it. Honestly, I don't want her to go back. Not now. Not next week. Not ever.

Her hand coming to rest on the small of my back, I turn in her arms and she is standing in her jeans and bra. _God, she's so beautiful._ Bringing her hand up to my face, she runs her thumb across my bottom lip and gives me a sad smile. "Stop worrying about me, Arizona."

"I can't," I admit, my voice breaking. "I know I promised to go with whatever you wanted, but I'm scared, Eliza. I'm scared about all of this."

"All of what?" She furrows her brow.

"Just…everything." I sigh. "I have to go back to work soon and then the tour will begin and you will be here alone. Knowing you are working back at the club when I have to leave just doesn't sit well with me."

"But I would have always been working at the club when you were gone." She gives me a look of confusion. "We've known about this tour for a while now."

"But you hadn't been attacked at that point." I shake my head. "I just worry about you, okay?"

"I appreciate that, but I'll be okay." She gives me a look of certainty and I know she isn't going to change her mind. She's right. It is what she is supposed to do. She is a dancer and I have to remember that. It's her choice. "I know I freaked out earlier, but I know once I get back in there, it will be like I never left the place."

"God, I wish you would…" My words not supposed to be spoken, I close my eyes and wait for the discussion that is about to come.

"What?" She pulls back a little. "You don't want me to work at the club?"

"No, I don't," I admit. I have to be honest with her. I'll only drive myself crazy if I'm not.

"Like, did you _ever_ want me to work there?"

"I guess not in some way, but since the attack…I can't bear the thought of you being alone in that room with anyone. I just…I can't."

"But it's who I am, Arizona." She sighs. "That hasn't changed just because some creep put his hands on me. Sure, I'm scared about the first time back in there, but I know it's what I'm supposed to do. It's all I know. I just…what am I supposed to do with this now?"

"With what?" I furrow my brow.

"With how you feel?" She rests against the counter beside me.

"My feelings don't matter, Eliza. Just do what you've got to do." Pushing off of the hardwood, I shake myself from my impending emotional breakdown and head for the stairs. "I'm just taking a shower and then I'll fix dinner up."

"Arizona, wait." Gripping my wrist, she pulls me back and gives me a look of concern. "I need us to be okay."

"We are." I nod. "I just really need to take a shower. I just need a moment to myself, okay?"

"Sure." She sighs as she releases me from her grip. Taking the stairs two at a time, I rush off into our bedroom and drop down on the edge of the bed. I don't even know what to do with how I'm feeling right now, but I can't be the one who gets nervous when she is leaving for work. I can't be the one who tries to stop her. Her past relationships have been that way for her, and ultimately, they've walked…so no, I can't be that person. I really can't. I have to be supportive whether I like it or not. I have to show her that everything will be okay, both at home…and at the club. Sure, I'll be a nervous wreck next week when she leaves for the night, but I'll be collecting her from the club, and once she is safe in the car, I'll be able to breathe again. Once she is locked away at home…I will be okay.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Three

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ELIZA'S POV

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I hate this. The silent treatment. The uncertainty. I know Arizona is there for me whatever I decide, but I hate knowing that she has spent the past few nights lying awake thinking things over. She hasn't told me about it, but I know she has. I know she has tossed and turned and it worries me. She doesn't need this. She doesn't need the added stress, not when she is about to start her new book. She should be sleeping soundly beside me, but she's not. She's not, and I don't know how to fix this. I don't know what I can do to make this better for us. I'm not sure she realises that she has been a little quiet over the weekend or the beginning of this week, but she has...and I've noticed. I've noticed how she disappears whilst she's in the room. I've noticed how she stares at the tv but isn't actually watching it. I've noticed how she pushes her food around her plate...and that isn't her. None of those things are her. Like, do I bring it up with her? Do I call her out on her behaviour? Will it only make things worse? God, I hate this. I hate not knowing what is going on in that beautiful head of hers. I just hate everything that this guy has created between us. My girlfriend has been absolutely amazing throughout all of this, but I know she is really struggling now. Especially since I'm due back at work tonight. Especially since she doesn't want me to go.

I have to, though. I have to get back into my career and be the best I can possibly be. It's me. It's all I know. I was born to dance, and no guy is going to get in the way of that. None of them. I just want to feel like me again. I want to put on that makeup and feel how I used to feel. Desired. Wanted by those that know they can't have me. Dance. God, I love to dance. I've _always_ loved to dance. Since I was a teenager. I mean, I'm the best there is...and I have to remember that. It's important that I remember that. It's a part of me. Arizona understands that, at least…I hope she does.

She made a comment the other day about how she never really liked me being at the club, and it's been playing on my mind ever since. I mean, she told me she was okay with it. She told me she was fine with my career. I hate that she hasn't been honest with me, but I'm in too deep to back out now. I'm in too deep to let her go and do the right thing. Sure, we can fix this, but what if we can't? What if me going back to the club after what happened is a step too far for her? Am I supposed to walk away? Am I supposed to allow her to get on with her life and go on with my own? It doesn't feel that way. It doesn't feel like that is supposed to be the answer. It feels like we are supposed to talk this out. You know, understand each other's point of view? I'm just not sure she wants that right now. I can see the tiredness in her eyes. I can see the heaviness in her shoulders as she wakes each morning. I don't like seeing her like that, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I can't change who I am, and I'm not sure I can talk her round. The truth? I feel like she is going to leave me.

I feel like she is going to do what everyone before her has done, and I'm not sure I could bear it. I've never been so close to anyone else, and I've never been in love with anyone else. At least, not like I am with Arizona. I mean, I'm preparing to propose to her. I'm getting myself psyched up to spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend. How could I ever possibly walk away from her? Maybe that's what she will do, though. Maybe I will come home one night and she isn't here. Maybe I'll come home and she has changed the locks. What would I do with that? I'd probably crumble and die on the porch, but I don't know. I can't possibly say how I'd feel if she asked me to leave. It would break my heart, though. I know that much.

Straightening myself out as I take the stairs slowly, my girlfriend is sitting on the couch and once again, the TV is on, but she isn't watching it. I know she isn't when she tugs at her sleeves. When she toys with her hands. I know when she is in another world, and right now is one of those times. Approaching her from behind, I clear my throat and she doesn't move from her spot. She is so engrossed in her own thoughts that she hasn't even realized I'm here. "Arizona?" I catch her attention.

"Hey…" She gives me a small smile as she toys with a piece of her hair. "You okay?"

"Yeah, uh…I'm going to call a cab and head to the club."

"I'll drive you." She stands and fixes her sweater on her shoulders a little. "Just let me lock up and grab my keys."

"You don't have to do that." I give her a sad smile. "I'll be okay."

"I'm driving you." Her tone a little cold, I decide it's best not to argue with her right now. She's in one of those moods, and I don't feel much like fighting if I can help it. It really wasn't in my plans today. "Do you have everything you need?"

"I do." Sighing, I move towards the door and pull it open, fixing my purse on my shoulder. "Arizona, I really don't need you to drive me. It's late and you should be settling down for the night."

"If I want to drive you, I will." Motioning for me to head out to the car, I roll my eyes when she isn't looking and I'm not sure I want to be in the car with her right now. I know I'm going to feel cornered, and I don't like that idea. I don't like being unable to take myself out of the situation. "Come on…" Her car beeps and I open the door. Slipping inside, I buckle up and she fires up the engine. Pulling out of the drive, I can see her jaw is clenched and I don't want her to feel that way.

"Arizona?" I sigh. "Are we okay?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" She furrows her brow, her eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"Because you've been distant." I shrug. "And you look mad…"

"I'm not mad." She states. "I have no reason to be mad. You know what you're doing, right?"

"Well, yeah…but you still seem mad."

"Well, I'm not."

"O...kay." I draw out. "Could have fooled me."

"I don't like what you are doing, but it's none of my business." Her hands gripping the wheel tighter, I know she is having a dig. I don't know why, but she is. "I don't understand, as you said."

"That isn't what I meant." I shake my head. "I just…I need to get back into things. I _have_ to get back into things."

"Sure." She gives me a sarcastic smile. "I get that."

"But do you?" I ask. "Do you realize that this is me and you have to take me how I am?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She furrows her brow.

"Is this it for us?" I sigh. "Is this where we end? Because of what's happened? Because you've realized this is too much for you? I always knew the day would come, but I hoped it never would…" The car screeching to a halt at the side of the road, she cuts the engine and simply stares at me. "I know this isn't the life you want, Arizona, but I thought you were okay with this. You told me you were. You always have. I just…I feel like we're drifting apart and I don't know how to fix it."

"Y-You think I'd leave you?" She gives me an incredulous look. "You think I don't want to be with you anymore?"

"Honestly, I don't know…" I admit. "You've been so distant since I said I was going back to work, and you told me that you didn't like me working at the club."

"But you think I'd leave you because of it?"

"Sometimes, yeah." It's how I've felt lately. Maybe I'm just feeling a little insecure, but yeah…I feel like we're ending. "Like, you haven't wanted to be near me. Even in bed, I wake in the morning and you are as far away as possible."

"I haven't been sleeping." She admits.

"I know. I've laid awake watching you." I give her a sad smile.

"Oh." She drops her gaze, her tone painfully low. "I'm not leaving you, Eliza."

"Are you sure? Because that's how it feels this past week." I take her hand in my own. "I know this is how it always goes. I know that it becomes too much for people. Sure, this is something I didn't see coming, but if you are going to leave me, Arizona…I need to know. I need to know so I can prepare myself."

"I'm not leaving you." She squeezes my hand tight. "I'm just struggling, is all."

"But I don't want you to struggle." I run my thumb over her knuckles. "I just want us to be okay like we were before the attack. We were so good then, and I don't want the lake house to be a band-aid for our problems."

"It's not." She shakes her head. "Our new home is a new start for us."

"Then can we just be us?" I ask, my eyebrow slightly raised. "Can you please not worry and focus on the good in our lives?"

"I'm trying." She breathes out. "It's just hard, you know?"

"I know, but I'm going to be okay. _We_ are going to be amazing."

"How do you know?" She asks. "How can you be so certain that we are going to be amazing?"

"Because I love you, and that's all that matters in all of this...because we are us and we are made for each other."

"I'm sorry if I've been avoiding you." She leans in a little closer. "I'm just scared, okay?"

"I get that, but I need you to not be scared." I press my lips to her own. "I need you to just be you…because I'm coming home to you tonight in one piece, and I'm going to hold to until the sun comes up."

"Promise?" Her voice breaks. "Promise you'll come home in one piece?"

"I promise." Smiling against her mouth, she rests her forehead against my own and sighs. "Hey, look at me…" Curling my fingers beneath her chin, her eyes lift a little and she finds my own. "I love you, and I will come home perfectly fine."

"Okay." She sighs. "Then I should get you to work, I guess."

* * *

Wow, that shift went better than I imagined. It took a few hours before the boss allowed any clients to book me for private dances, and he checked them all out before doing so. I enjoyed my first night back, but it doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel as pleasant as it used to. Sure, some people see me as dancing naked for creepy guys, and sometimes, women, but it really isn't like that for me. I enjoy doing what I do. I enjoy the dancing and the thrill people get from me doing what I love. Sure, some of them get a little aroused but they know there is a limit. They know that I'm purely here for the show. Maybe that's the mystery of it all. Maybe the idea of being able to look but not touch is what they love. I know some people will never change their opinions of me, but those people don't matter. They don't matter because they only bring negativity into my life, and I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime. I really have.

Shrugging on my jacket, I head out of my private room and towards the front of the club. Paul is waiting for me near the entrance and I know he is wanting to know how my shift went. I won't lie, it wasn't how it used to feel, but he has looked after me, and I want him to know that. I want him to know that I appreciate the fact that he gave me a little time to get used to things again and he didn't overbook me like he sometimes does. "Hey…" Shrugging my purse up onto my shoulder, he pulls me into a hug and I relax my body a little. "Paul, I'm fine."

"I know, but I just wanted to check." He pulls back and gives me a small smile. "I don't want to lose you, Eliza."

"And you won't." I agree. "I just need to ease myself back in. I'll be good to go in no time at all."

"What does your girl think about all of this?" He raises his eyebrow.

"Honestly…she hates it." I sigh. "I can't blame her, though. I mean, I was attacked where I work so yeah, she has every right to hate it."

"She called." He admits. "Six times."

"She did?" I furrow my brow. "She didn't contact me."

"No, she didn't want to bother you." He smiles. "She's a good one. Don't let her go, okay?"

"What did she say when she called?"

"She was just checking in, is all." He shrugs. "Like partners do, I guess."

"She's perfect." I sigh. "I just need to fix all of this with her."

"You guys will figure it out in your own time." He squeezes my shoulder. "You should get going before she is calling again."

"Yeah, she just worries." I smile. "I'll see you at the weekend, okay?"

"No." He shakes his head. "Just the quieter midweek shifts are good enough right now, Eliza."

"Y-You're sure?" I ask. "You don't need me at the weekend?"

"I do, but I want you to take your time. Like you said, you have to ease yourself back into this. Besides, your girl will kick my ass if I keep you here too long."

"Yeah, she actually probably will." I laugh. "I'll see you next Wednesday then, Paul. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Eliza." Heading for the exit of the club, I pull my cell out and scroll through my contacts. Bringing up the number for a local cab firm, I'm about to hit call but a horn stops me. Glancing up, I find my girlfriend behind the wheel of her car across the street and it makes my heart swell.

Crossing the street, my smile widens and I open the door. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Since you went inside five hours ago." Her eyes a little heavy, I slip into my seat and turn to face her. "How was it?"

"It was fine, but you've really been here all this time?"

"Mm…" She nods, her eyes flickering slightly. "Just in case."

"In case what?" I furrow my brow.

"In case you needed me."

"You could have come inside. Paul would have fixed you up some coffee." Taking her hand in my own, her eyes close and I lean in, placing a kiss below her ear. "But thank you for doing this."

"I had to be sure you were okay." She sighs. "Are you?"

"I'm okay." I settle into my seat a little better. "But you really should be home and sleeping. It's 2 am, Arizona."

"I couldn't, so I didn't even bother to try." She laughs. "You ready to get out of here?"

"More than ready." I rest my head back against my seat. "I want to get home and snuggle with you."

"Sounds perfect." She smiles. "I'm happy you did okay tonight." Pulling away from the sidewalk, she rests her hand on the console between us and my own instantly finds it. "I love you, Eliza…and I'm not going anywhere. Not now. Not _ever._ "

"I love you, too." I bring her hand up to my mouth and place a soft kiss on her skin. "More than you could imagine."

"We just have to do us, right?" She glances my way and gives me a slight smile. "Just like you said…"

"That's exactly what we need to do." I agree. "It's the only thing that makes me feel normal. You. You are my normal, Arizona."

"Then I will try, okay?" She nods. "I'll try to get on board with this…again. I can't promise that it will always be good, but I promise to try."

"That is good enough for me." I agree. "I just want us to be happy." Rounding the corner, we take the open road and I relax in my seat. "You know…if I had to choose?"

"Choose what?" She asks.

"If I had to choose between you and dancing…"

"Oh, I wouldn't ever expect you to choose." She shakes her head a little.

"I'd totally choose you every time…"

"Yeah?" The car slows a little and she glances my way, her eyes shining against the moonlight. "You mean that?"

"Every. Single. Time." I nod. "I don't even have to think about it."

"Wow…" She breathes out. "I didn't think I was that important in all of this."

"You are the most important thing in my life, and you _always_ will be."

"God, I love you so much, Eliza." Squeezing my hand tight, a silence falls between us but that's okay. It's okay because it's normal. The quiet is sometimes good for us both. It helps us to process what has been said. Whatever truths have been revealed. It's the norm for us, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have it any other way because I'm about to sleep in this woman's arms all night long, and that is more important than any job or career I could ever have.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Four

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ARIZONA'S POV

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I cannot believe that Eliza thought I was going to leave her. I mean, I know I've been a little distant, but I thought she knew me better than that. I thought she knew that I was in this for the long run. The longest run imaginable. Maybe I went wrong with my communication somewhere along the way. Maybe I should have talked this all out with her a little better than I did. Maybe I'm just a terrible girlfriend who gives off the wrong signals. I don't know, but I hate the thought of her spending her time worrying about us. I hate the thought of her wondering where we are headed. I didn't realize she felt so scared of it all. _She said she would always choose me._ That's a nice thought, but I would never give her that kind of ultimatum. She loves me, and she loves her job. It is now up to me to accept that and allow her to love us both. I could never expect her to stop doing what she was born to do. I'm just having a hard time accepting the prospect of another weird guy coming to the club and trying it on. Who wouldn't, though? Who wouldn't worry about their girlfriend and her wellbeing? Maybe I'm just being stupid about this whole thing. Eliza isn't worried, so why am I? I feel as though I'm worrying enough for the both of us. I'm laying it all on myself and in reality, my girlfriend is fine. She is doing so good right now. I have to allow her to find her own way, and if one day…it all goes wrong, I will be there to pick up the pieces again. I have to be, its a part of who I am.

Shaking myself from my thoughts, I sit up in our super comfortable super king size bed and rub the sleep from my eyes. I slept pretty well last night, and honestly…I needed it. I needed to just shut off and allow my body to rest. Eliza admitted to watching me last night, and that means her sleep has been suffering, too. I don't want her to suffer because I have things on my mind. I don't want her to worry about me worrying about her. It makes no sense for us both to be tired and fried. I can be that person for us both if she would only let me. Climbing from our bed, I can hear movement downstairs and I'm guessing she is back into her workout routine full time now. I mean, it's barely even 9 am and she is already up and starting her day. Me? I prefer the more casual get up. The one where I slowly go about my morning. It's just who I am, and we couldn't be any more different where our routine is concerned. It's what I love about us, though. I love the small differences in our personalities. It makes things more interesting, I guess.

Glancing down at my body, I realize I'm wearing nothing at all and I grab my robe from the chair closest to the window. Slipping it on, I head out onto the small landing and glance over the viewing area that looks down on the kitchen and living room. My girlfriend is preparing breakfast right now, and I need to watch her for a few more minutes before I make my presence known. She has her workout clothes on, and yeah…her ass is looking just as fine as it always does in that tight material. It just hugs her in all the right places, and I often find myself staring way longer than I should. _How can I not stare, though?_ She is incredibly sexy, even when she isn't trying to be. _God, she makes me crazy._ Taking the stairs slowly and quietly, she is humming to herself in the kitchen and my eyes land on the gorgeous curve of her ass. "Mm, someone is looking fine this morning." I step up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

"You think?" She glances over her shoulder and wrinkles her nose. "I could certainly lose a few pounds."

"No, you couldn't." I press myself against her ass and I'm beginning to wish I'd gotten dressed before I came down here this morning. Knowing I have nothing on under my robe is making my own body crave her amazing touch. "You are perfect."

"Thanks, but I'm not." She turns in my arms and I can see in her eyes that she truly believes she isn't good enough right now. "Just have to make my workout a little more intense and then I'll be back to how I was."

"Eliza…" I run my thumb across her cheek. "You are incredibly beautiful. Don't ever think any different."

"You have to say that." She scoffs. "You're my girlfriend."

"Okay, enough." I hold up my hand. "That is the last time I hear you say such things about yourself. I love you exactly how you are…you know that."

"Thank you." She presses a soft kiss to my lips. "I missed you this morning."

"I missed you, too," I whisper against her mouth. "How about we make up for that, huh?"

"But I'm making breakfast…" She slips her hand inside my robe and wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me in closer. "You are just distracting me."

My hand tracing the curve of her ass, I pull back a little and attempt to step out of her embrace. "Okay, I'm sorry." I drop my gaze. "I'll let you get on with your morning routine."

"Oh, no." She shakes her head and fists her hand in my robe. " _You_ are my morning routine." My center throbbing for her, she turns us both and lifts me onto the kitchen counter. "I cannot survive without you as part of my routine."

"But you just sai-"

"Never mind what I just said." She tugs the belt holding my robe in place. "I'm busy right now." The material hugging my body falls open and her eyes darken. "I'm so very very busy…" Pushing my body down against the counter, I sit up on my elbows and watch her reaction to everything that she is seeing. I love having this effect on her. It feels good to know that someone cannot keep their eyes _or_ their hands off of me. "God, you're so beautiful." Her tongue tracing a path from my stomach to my breasts, she takes a nipple between her teeth and moans as it hardens in her mouth. "So good."

"Eliza…" I breathe out, her mouth working wonders right now. Gripping the back of her head as she nips and sucks, my legs wrap around her waist and I pull her in closer. "Fuck…" My entire body on fire, she knows exactly how to make me feel good. This woman knows my body better than I do and I wouldn't have it any other way. "I'm never leaving." I breathe out as her tongue trails further up and her lips attach to my neck. "You're mine, Eliza."

Pulling back, she studies my face and gives me an adorable smile. "You've no idea how much it means to hear you say that." Something in her eyes changing, I narrow my own and try to read her. I'm trying to figure out what's just changed between us, but I'm lost, and I'm too aroused to care right now. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Cupping her face in my hands, her eyes close and a slight smirk settles on her mouth. "Make love to me, Eliza." Her hands running up the sides of my thighs, my breath catches in my throat and she pushes my robe from my shoulders. "I need you." I moan against her lips. "I'll always need you."

"You'll always have me." One hand ghosting up my stomach, she squeezes my breast and dips her other between my legs. "Lie back and think of me, gorgeous." _Oh, gladly._ Falling back on my elbows, she spreads my legs impossibly wide and moans when she is met with my soaked, glistening center. "Shit…" Tugging on her bottom lip, she dips her head a little lower and separates my folds. "So beautiful." Her tongue running the length of my sex, my stomach tightens and my hips arch from the oak countertop. "Mm." The vibrations of her hum shooting to my core, my thighs try to close around her head but she has them firmly pressed against the counter. "Not yet…" She whispers against my clit. "I'm not done with you…"

"Fuck." My hands searching the area either side of me, I desperately need something to hold onto. Gripping my thighs, she pulls my ass closer to the edge of the counter and thankfully, my hands take a strong grip whilst they can.

"You're so wet for me, Arizona." She moans as she takes another long lick, gathering my arousal on the tip of her tongue. "Wanna taste?" She asks as she slips her own pants from her body, her naked center now sending me absolutely wild with want. Climbing up, she straddles one leg and leans down, running her tongue along my bottom lip. "Do you see how good you taste?"

"Oh god." Tasting myself on her tongue is only making me want to beg her to take me. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on, and I need her inside of me right now. Curling my fingers beneath her tight tank top, I lift it up and over her head, my eyes landing on her naked chest. "Fuck, I need you, Eliza."

"What do you need?" She whispers as I pull her down and take a nipple between my teeth. "That feels incredible." Rocking against my thigh, it turns me on more knowing that she worked out this morning, underwear free. _She totally had this planned._ "Where do you need me?"

"Inside." I pant. "I need you inside of me right now, Eliza."

Her fingertips teasing my clit, she pulls back and studies my face. "Just a little, or?"

"All of you." I groan as she presses her finger against my throbbing bundle. "Fuck, I need all of you and I need it now." Suddenly pushing two fingers deep inside of me, the sound of my soaked sex is all that can be heard over the gasp that leaves my throat. "Y-Yes." I smile, my eyes closing as she sinks deeper. "Don't stop."

"Never." Her pace picking up, my back arches from the counter and she knows that I'm close. She knows that I need a little more, but she isn't giving me it. "Arizona…" She breathes out against my lips. "You know I love you."

"I know, baby." My stomach tightening, she grinds down against my thigh and pulls back, her eyes finding mine. "I know you love me."

"This was supposed to be totally different…" She smiles, her fingers working me like never before. "I just…" Shaking her head, she releases a deep breath and her thumb pushes against my clit.

"Fuck." My chest heaving, I'm so close. "Right there, oh god. Yes!" Rolling my hips into her hand, she never takes her eyes off of my own. "Take me, Eliza."

"God, I love you so much that I can't breathe." Her lips pressing against my own, she moans into my mouth and I've no idea what the hell she is thinking right now. She's changed. She's changed, but god, she's fucking me so good. "You are all I think about. All I see." My breath catching in my throat as she curls her fingers inside of me, I can't hold on any longer. "I need more…"

"You can h-have anything you w-want." My orgasm approaching faster with every breath I take, she slams into me and my world begins to slow. Everything is running in slow motion right now.

"I need you to be my wife." She breathes against my mouth. "I need you to marry me."

My fingers tangling in her hair, I pull her down against me and my orgasm crashes through me like never before. Everything I'm feeling is Eliza. All I'm living on is her. Her voice. Her touch. Her incredible personality. She is all I will ever see when I close my eyes. She is all I'll ever need. All I will ever breathe. "Y-Yes." I smile, my breathing erratic. "God, yes."

"Yes?" Her smile grows. "You'll marry me."

"I'd marry you right now given half the chance," I reply, her body falling on my own. "You make me crazy in every way imaginable…"

"Oh my god." She turns her head and buries it in the crook of my neck. "You're going to be my wife."

"And you are going to be mine." I smile as I run my fingers through her hair. "And it's going to be perfect." Honestly, I never expected a proposal from my girlfriend, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't secretly hoped she would one day ask me. We've never talked about it. We've never discussed anything of the sort...but I've always seen myself living happily with her. Not anybody else. Just her. Eliza Minnick.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this." She breathes out. "I just…I couldn't wait any longer. I couldn't plan any longer. I needed to know."

"It couldn't have happened anymore beautifully…" I whisper, her arms wrapping tighter around me. "That was the perfect proposal."

"You've made me the happiest woman in the world since the day I met you, but today…today you've totally blown my mind." Her eyes finding mine, she presses a kiss to my lips and I moan into her mouth. "You've no idea how much you mean to me. I'm going to show you, though. I'm going to make us so happy, I'll knock you off of your feet."

"I don't doubt you." Her forehead resting against my own, she settles fully between my legs and everything about this moment is exactly how it should be. I don't need grand gestures or a plane to fly over us asking me to marry her. I just need this. Us. Molded into one and completely earth shatteringly in love. How we always are. How we always will be. Us. Two people. Madly in love. "I don't doubt anything that we are…"

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Happy New Year to every single one of you. You've made 2017 incredible for me, and 2018 can only blow me away. Be happy. Love fully. Kiss those who matter.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Five

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ELIZA'S POV

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 _One week later…_

She said yes. Arizona is now my fiancé...because she said yes. I don't know why or how this has happened, but I'm not complaining. I'm so fucking happy that I could scream. I mean, it's been a week…and I still cannot believe she has agreed to become my wife. Her. Arizona Robbins. Wow. It's all I've thought about since that day when she writhed beneath me and said that word as clear as anything. I know this is real, and I know this is happening, but I don't understand her reasons for agreeing. I don't understand why she would want to spend the rest of her life with me. I'm nothing special. I'm just me. I work at a coffee shop and I dance for money. How could anyone think that I'm wife material? How can anyone be happy with that future?

Just last week, I was questioning whether she even wanted to be with me anymore, and now we are engaged. Now, I have a fiancé. To say this all feels strange would be an understatement. An understatement, and then some. Don't get me wrong, I have just as much love to give as the next person, but I honestly didn't think my future would include someone I could call my wife. I've spent my entire life keeping my walls up. So much so that my wedding day isn't something I've ever thought about. It isn't something I could have ever begun to imagine. It just didn't seem possible. It didn't seem like I would ever find my happy ever after. I did, though. I did, and I could never live my life without Arizona in it.

She has meant more to me than anyone I've ever dated, and I knew that pretty soon after we'd met. I knew that I had to know her. Be with her. Build a relationship with her. I'm so thankful that she accepted me for who I am because nobody else could ever see past the dancing. No one else ever tried to see past it. All they saw was me on a pole or in someone's lap and they ran. They ran without even giving me the opportunity to prove myself. Show them the true me. I won't lie, it hurt at the time, but now? Now, I'm glad they didn't stay. I'm glad they ran and took their opinion of me with them. I may never have met Arizona if I'd been in a relationship when I first caught sight of her. I'd like to believe that I'd have been faithful in whatever relationship I was in, but Arizona would have drawn me in. She would have begged me with her eyes and I'd have given up everything I already had. I'd have given up the world for her.

No woman could ever compare to her. None. I mean, neither of us are perfect, and we have both made mistakes in the past, but to me…she is all I could ever want. I'm sure there will be times in the future when things get hard, but that's life, right? That is the ultimate test of any relationship. I know that we can withstand anything that comes our way, and the past few weeks have been proof of that. Like, she took me away from the situation when I was hurting and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. She took away my pain by just being there, and now I feel like I'm in a good place again. How couldn't I be? I have the most incredible woman by my side every morning when I wake, and I'm about to become someone's wife in the near future. We have a beautiful home out in the middle of nowhere, and nobody could ever take that from me. From us. Not now, not ever.

"What time are you finishing tonight?" Arizona pulls me from my happy thoughts and I glance to my left.

"Probably around 2 am." I give her a sad smile. "Why?"

"Figured I'd hang with Teddy until you were finished up at the club." She shrugs. "Then I can pick you up and we can go home together."

"Arizona, you don't have to do that." I shake my head. "You should be home and sleeping by the time I finish my shift, not sitting in the car outside like some John."

"I don't want you to take a cab home, Eliza."

"I'll be okay." I try to reassure her but I know she has already made her decision. "Baby?"

"Not happening." She refuses to reason with me. "I'll kick back with Teddy and when you are almost done, give me a call and I will be here ready and waiting for you."

"Bu-"

"But nothing." She cuts me off as she taps her fingers against the wheel. "If I want to get you home safely, then that is what I will do." _So adorable._ She breaks my heart sometimes with her kindness. She really does. "Maybe I will see if Teddy wants to grab dinner or something."

"I'm sure she would enjoy that." I nod. "It's been a while since you guys hung out."

"Yeah, it will be good to see her." Taking a left, the bright lights of New York City come into view and I have to squint a little. "Do you miss being here?" She asks as she dips her head a little and looks a little higher up at the skyscrapers. "At all?"

"Do you?"

"I asked first, Eliza." She laughs. "You aren't allowed to make a decision on your answer based on mine. I just want your honesty.

"No," I say with certainty in my voice. "I don't miss living here. Not at all."

"Me neither." She smiles as she laces our fingers together on the console between us. "I don't know what it is, but I feel less stressed living outside of the city."

"Uh, you've seen our home, right?" I furrow my brow. "That place is enough alone to de-stress anyone."

"I know, but I didn't think I'd feel _this_ calm."

"Maybe other things have helped with your stress levels." I wiggle my eyebrows and she smirks. "You know, like the fact that we are getting married?"

"Well, there is that." She agrees. "Oh, and the fact that you are incredible with proposals."

"Mm, proposals or my hands," I question as she tightens her grip on the wheel.

"Oh, that's easy." She smiles. "Your hands."

"Thought so." Pulling up outside of the club, I have a few minutes before I need to head inside and prepare for my shift. Turning in my seat a little, I find my fiancé's eyes and she studies my face.

"You going to be okay tonight?"

"Sure." I give her a nod in agreement. "I'm feeling good."

"I know, but this is your first weekend back. I just want you to know that I love you, and you can do this." Leaning in, she places a kiss below my ear and a smile settles on my face. "You are amazing at what you do."

"Thank you." Arizona hasn't said much about working at the club lately, but I know she still worries. She forgets that I can read her incredibly well, and her eyes always give her mood away, anyway. "I love you, okay?"

"I know you do." She replies, her body a little more relaxed than it was the last time she dropped me at the club. "If you get a little anxious, just call me, okay? I'll only be a few minutes away."

"Go and enjoy your evening with your friend, Arizona." Pressing a kiss to her lips, she smiles against my mouth and her hand comes to rest on my thigh. I'd ask her to come by a little earlier but I know how she feels about this place right now. I wouldn't put her in that kind of position. She knows she is welcome to come by whenever she likes, so I don't need to invite her inside. "I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

 _I cannot wait for this night to end._ It's almost midnight and I have a couple more hours to go before I can get out of here and out of these damn heels. They're new, and they're not as comfortable as they looked in the window of my favorite store. _Maybe I'll keep them for home activities._ I called Arizona a little while ago to tell her that everything was okay here and she sounded relieved. I know she has been sat chewing her nails at Teddy's place, but everything will fall back into place soon enough. We just have to find our groove again and it will be like nothing ever changed. At least, that's what I'm hoping for. Sure, she has every right to worry, but she knows Paul will look after me, and she knows I can look after myself, too.

A quick spray of fresh perfume and I find myself heading back out onto the floor to finish up the rest of my shift. I've been booked back to back all night, and I'm making a lot, but I miss the floor sometimes. I like seeing what is going on out here. The clientele. The newcomers. _There are always newcomers._ Maybe I'll hold off on the private dances during my midweek shift since I no longer work Saturdays. Give some clients to some of the other girls for a little while. _I'll see how I feel next week._ Stepping out from behind the curtain, my heels click on the floor and I scan the room for my next client.

My smile widening when I find my fiancé sitting in my spot, I approach her and catch Paul watching me. "Hey…" Trying to keep up my act, she gives me an adorable smile and crosses her legs. "Everything okay?"

"Sure." She nods. "Is it my turn yet?"

"Paul is watching." I turn my head a little so he can't see my face but Arizona simply runs her fingertips up my thigh. "Baby, don't."

"Paul knows I'm here." She smirks as she leans up and her lips brush my ear. "And he knows I've booked you for the rest of your shift."

"O-Oh," I smirk as I glance back at my boss. "Does he now?" My boss gives me a nod, followed by a smile, and I pull my fiancé up to her feet. "Let's get this show on the road then, huh?"

"I thought my time would never come."

"Now, all I heard just then was… _come_." I take her by the hand and we head back behind the curtain. "Is that why you're here?" I raise an eyebrow. "Because you need me?"

"I always need you…" Her breathing a little labored as I tilt the camera up, she drops down onto the couch to the left of the room and motions for me to come closer. "But I need you _a lot_ tonight."

"Poor baby." I pout. "Now, what can I do to help you?" Climbing on top of her, my legs straddle her own and a soft beat plays through my private room. "You know, I'm wet just thinking about you right now." My center grinding against her stomach, her tongue runs up between my breasts and her hands trail up my back, my bra falling from my shoulders.

"I've been wet all night thinking about you…"

"I'll bet." My lips pressing against her own, she grips the backs of my thighs and pulls me in a little closer. "I love you being here with me."

"I couldn't resist." She moans as my hand disappears under her shirt. "Your touch." She breathes out. "Your fingers…"

"You love my fingers, huh?"

"Deep inside of me, yeah." She admits. _Fuck, this is going to be my favorite night since I returned to work._ "Working me so good." She forces her hips up against my own.

"Fuck…" Taking her bottom lip between my teeth, I want to rip her clothes from her body. God, I want to do unimaginable things to her right now. "You're so fucking hot in here."

"It's that g-string." She moans into my mouth. "Does _everything_ to my body." Dipping her hand between my legs, she presses her thumb against my barely covered center and I have to control myself. I have to save this for later. "Let me touch you, Eliza…"

"Y-You can't." I stutter.

"You're my fiancé...I can do what I like…where I like." Pulling back and finding my eyes, I press my lips against her own before she dips her head, taking my nipple between her teeth. "Let me make you mine in here, Eliza. Just like you are…everywhere else."

"Oh god." I breathe out as she pushes my g-string to one side, her finger gliding through my folds. "W-We shouldn't."

"Oh, but we _really_ should." Drawing light circles against my clit, my breath catches in my throat and my body defies me by grinding against her. "You know, for someone who is so sure that we shouldn't do this…you are fucking dripping, Eliza."

"I-I…" Shaking my head, my eyes close and I take my bottom lip between my teeth. "Oh, god…I."

"You what?" She sucks a little harder on my nipple and there is no way I can prolong this.

"Just fuck me, Arizona." Shifting a little, I sit up on my knees and she sinks two fingers deep inside of me. "Shit…"

"You like that, huh?" She pulls back and watches my face. "You like me fucking you like this? In here?"

"Y-Yes." I throw my head back on my shoulders and tug my own nipple. "God, that's amazing." Bucking against her hand, she curls her fingers inside of me and the moan I release only encourages her. "You've been thinking about this, haven't you?" I smirk as my hand runs down my stomach and my fingertips connect with my clit. "You've wanted to fuck me in here since we met."

"Mm, you know it." Her eyes fixed on the hand working my clit, her mouth falls open and her eyes darken. "I could watch you touch yourself all day."

"U-Uh…" My stomach tightening, my body lifts and slams back down on her fingers. "Fuck…"

"Shit, you're squeezing me so fucking tight." Her tongue poking out as she licks her lips, she grips my hip with her free hand and forces me down harder against her. "You need me deeper." She smiles. "And harder, right?"

"So hard." I pant. Bracing myself on my knees, I give her a little more room to work with and her thrusts increase. Pushing deeper and deeper with every movement, my breath catches every time she slams into me. "Fuck, yes. Don't stop." My own fingers pushing against my clit, my fiancé is doing incredible things to my body right now. Incredible and so fucking arousing. "Oh god, yes...A-Arizona."

"You wanna come for me?" She smirks as my head drops to her shoulder. "You wanna let go?"

"Mm…" I moan against the crook of her neck, her scent sending me absolutely crazy. "Fuck."

"Do it!" She demands. "Come for me, Eliza."

"I-I, Oh." My orgasm approaching fast, she sucks on the skin of my neck and smiles as I pull her fingers impossibly deep. "I'm coming. Fuck, I'm coming." My body shuddering and writhing against my fiancé, she hums in appreciation as her movements slow. "Arizona," I whisper.

"I've got you." Her hand slips from between my thighs and I whimper at the loss of contact. "Nice heels, by the way."

A laugh rumbling in my throat, I pull back and run my thumb across Arizona's cheek. "You make me so happy, Arizona." I hope she actually knows just how perfect she is. How perfect is for me. For the rest of our lives.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Six

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Perfect. That's how everything is in our lives right now…absolutely perfect. Sometimes it doesn't seem it, and sometimes I feel like it will all one day end, but I'm over all of that. I'm over waiting for someone better to come along for my fiancé. I'm the one who should be in her life. Not the hot brunette we have just walked past on the street or the busty blonde who gave her the eye back at the last store we visited. Me. I'm the one who is going to marry her. Not anyone else. She only sees me. She only recognizes me in her life. Not the women she dances for or the clients who watch her on the pole. Just me. _Feels kinda crazy._ If I'm being totally honest, I have often worried that I'm not good enough for her or that I'm not outgoing enough for her, but she doesn't see it. She doesn't see me as anything other than equal. Equal in every sense of the word. I appreciate that. I appreciate how she makes me feel when I'm around her. Sure, she knows about the worries I've had in the past, but we have always moved forward. We've always left them where they were discussed, and she has made me feel nothing but complete love. For her, and by her.

Crossing the street, our fingers laced together…we approach a store and she stops dead outside of it. "This is the place." She nods. "Come on." My body being dragged inside, she doesn't once loosen her grip.

"What are you buying?"

"Your ring." She smiles. "My proposal was so spare of the minute that I didn't have time to get you the perfect one."

"I don't need a ring." I tug her back a little and she turns to face me. "Having you is good enough for me."

"My fiancé will not walk down the street without a ring on her finger." She shakes her head, laughing. "I want them _all_ to know that you're mine."

"Yeah?" My smile widens as we check out the glass cases in front of us. "You really want everyone to know?"

"So much, Arizona." She presses a kiss below my ear and my eyes close, a smile curling on my lips. "I have to be sure that people know you are taken."

"What people?" I laugh.

"All people." She shrugs. "Come on, I did see one I liked the last time I was in here but I don't know if it's a little too plain."

"I'm sure it was beautiful." I follow behind her, our hands still connected. "But you really don't have to do this."

"Just...look at it, okay?" She raises her eyebrow as she glances back at me over her shoulder. "Please?"

"Okay." Stopping at the ring in question, my breath catches in my throat and my eyes widen. "Wow!" The most beautiful piece of jewelry I've ever seen in front of me, I bite my lip and study the detail highlighted in white gold. It's classy and so very beautiful.

"We'll take this one." She points it out and the assistant gives her a nod, followed by a smile.

"Eliza…" I breathe out. "You are not paying THAT for a ring. No way."

"Watch me." She smirks. "A beautiful ring for my beautiful lady…" _Ugh, she's too adorable sometimes._ Pulling me into a kiss, the store assistant comes back with a selection of sizes and clears her throat. This day was already amazing to begin with, and now this? This incredibly stunning _expensive_ engagement ring? Yeah, I'm one lucky girl. "Try them." My fiancé pulls me from my thoughts. "It's going to look beautiful on your finger."

"Yeah…" I breathe out, my voice barely above a whisper. "Definitely beautiful." Finding the best fit, I glance down at it sitting on my finger and she's right, it's gorgeous. I feel like it would look just as amazing on her hand too, though.

"Why don't you try one?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Because we are here looking…for _you._ "

"But this would look kind of amazing on you?" I smirk. "Maybe…matching ones?" I narrow my eyes.

"Arizona…" She smiles. "That wasn't the plan."

"Yeah, well plans change." I press a kiss below her ear and my lips hover for a little longer than usual. "Try it, please?" Giving me a nod, followed by one of her gorgeous smiles, she sits one on her finger too and places her hand over mine. "See what I mean?"

"Yeah." Her smile grows impossibly wide. "I see exactly what you mean."

"So, we'll take them both." I nod, my gaze switching to the assistant who is just about ready to throw up from our lovesick behavior.

"They look so beautiful together…" Eliza sighs. "Kinda like us, huh?"

"Oh, speak for yourself." I laugh. "You know, we should invite Teddy and Jay over to our place. Some drinks?"

"I love the idea of that." She agrees as we both hand over our credit cards. "When?"

"Tonight." I shrug. "I mean, Teddy will be available, but what about Jay?"

"Jay is always available." She laughs. "Leave him to me, and you figure things out with Teddy."

"That I can do." I nod. "We should head to the store on the way home, too. Grab some essentials."

"Maybe I'll even enjoy a few celebratory drinks with you tonight." She leans in and places a kiss below my ear. "But you should know…alcohol makes me take off my clothes."

"I don't doubt that." I blush, unsure if the woman glaring at us has just heard our conversation. "I had first-hand experience a few nights ago."

"Well, maybe we can build on that experience." Her hand resting on my lower back, she slips it a little further south and squeezes my ass. "If you think you can handle it?"

"Oh, I can handle it." I scoff. "But…can you?"

"I guess we will find out." I know Eliza doesn't drink often, but when she does…it's kinda funny. I'm yet to see her drunk, and I'm thinking that maybe tonight could be the night for exactly that. I'll have her best friend to back me up, and honestly…I cannot wait.

* * *

"Hey, you think they will be happy for us?" Eliza leans over the kitchen counter and gives me a questioning look. "I mean, I know Jay will be happy, but will Teddy?"

"Teddy will be happy for us, Eliza," I spoke to her today, and she is coming over in a little while. Jay, too. I know it was short notice, but that just shows what good friends they are to us. Both could have blown us off, but they didn't. "All of that what happened with her is in the past."

"I know, but sometimes it just makes me wonder." She shrugs. "You know, how much she hated me being with you…I wonder sometimes if she is truly okay with it all now."

"Believe me, she would have told me if she wasn't happy about it," I reassure my fiancé. "She doesn't hold things back."

"If you're sure…" She sighs.

"I am sure." I nod. "And…even if I wasn't, does it really matter? It's nobody else's business anyway."

"I know that, but it's still nice to have other people on board."

"I get that." I round the counter and wrap my arms around her waist. "Teddy is fine, I promise." Pressing a kiss to her lips, a knock on the door pulls us apart and I smile. "That will be Jay, right?"

"Yep. He's always early." She rolls her eyes. "You know how he likes to make a grand entrance."

"Well, he _is_ very grand." I laugh.

"No, he's very _gay._ Two different things, baby." Smacking my ass as she brushes past me, she heads for the door and pulls it open. "Hey, beautiful." She pulls her best friend into a hug and he lifts her off of her feet.

"I mean, I love you both…" Holding up his hands, I love how dramatic this guy is. "But when you told me you were moving, I didn't think it would be to fucking Narnia."

"We aren't _that_ far out." Eliza rolls her eyes. "We're like twenty minutes out of the city.

"Mm…" He purses his lips together. "And that is too far. I'm not prepared for like hunting and shit." He shakes his head. "Now, where is my _other_ favorite lesbian?" He approaches me and opens his arms. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Hi, Jay." Being pulled into a hug, Eliza brushes past him and takes the alcohol from his grip. "Thanks for coming over."

"My girl knows I like a party." He pulls back and plants a kiss straight on my lips. "You know, if I wasn't gay, I'd totally fight _her_ for you…"

"Awesome." I laugh.

"And I'd totally win." He shrugs as he releases me from his grip and moves through our home. "Gorgeous place." He glances over his shoulder and throws me a wink. "Really gorgeous."

"Thanks." I give him a genuine smile. "My dad built this place."

"It's amazing, Arizona." His hips swaying as he moves into the kitchen, Eliza hands him a glass of red and he gives her a thankful smile.

"You wanna check out the lake?"

"God, yes." He nods. "Show me the way…" Heading out back with Eliza's best friend, our pace slows and I shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "You guys are happy out here, aren't you?"

"We are, Jay." We head for the water's edge. "She just seems so much more at ease here. You know?"

"She needed someone like you…" He smiles. "Better than that bitch, Heidi."

"Who?" I furrow my brow.

"You know, her ex." He rolls his eyes. "The woman I was forever warning her about." He shakes his head. "She had a lucky escape."

"Right, yeah." I clear my throat and pretend that I know about her. "Forgot all about Heidi." I smile.

"Mm, I didn't." He replies. "I hated that bitch. You know she accused Eliza of sleeping with me one time?"

"Oh, come on…" I raise an eyebrow. "In what universe?"

"That's what I told her." He shrugs. "She just wouldn't have it. Said something was off about us. She didn't understand that Eliza could have a gay best friend."

"So, what happened?" I ask, nonchalantly.

"She freaked. Wouldn't let her see me anymore." He sighs. "I wouldn't allow that, though. I let it lie for a few weeks. You know, let her believe she had won. That I'd given our friendship up."

"Sure. Seems like the sensible thing to do." I nod. "Let things settle down."

"I couldn't believe the state she was in." He drops his gaze. "That day when I went by…you know the day after she'd had a right go at her?"

"Mm…" I narrow my eyes and fist my hands in my pockets.

"She looked awful." He shakes his head. "I took her straight to the ER. She said Heidi had proposed and she had declined…that bitch didn't like that."

"No?" God, I hope he accepts our wedding.

"No, that's why she backhanded her across the face." He spits. "Because she didn't get her own way, she fractured her jaw." My heart sinking into my stomach, I can't believe I don't know any of this. I can't believe someone would hit my fiancé. To say I'm horrified is an understatement. "I wouldn't let her go back, and thankfully, she hasn't been seen since."

"Not once?" I furrow my brow.

"No, she moved to Europe as far as I know." He breathes out. "And praise the fucking lord for that."

"Yeah, thank god." I agree. "You're a good friend, Jay."

"Damn right I am." He turns to face me fully. "I'd die for that girl in there." Motioning towards our home, I pull him into a hug.

"Thank you for being there for her." I tighten my grip. "Thank you so much." My voice breaking, he pulls back and studies my face.

"Y-You didn't know, did you?"

"No." I give him a sad smile. "I guess she just didn't want to talk about it." Eliza has always maintained that she avoided relationships because of her job, but I'm not sure that is completely true. Maybe it is to an extent, but I wish she would have told me. Maybe this is the reason she didn't do relationships before she met me? Maybe she closed herself off from anyone hurt.

"Well, I messed this up, didn't I?"

"No, not at all." I grip his arms. "You are looking out for her, and I appreciate that." I smile. "Now that I know, I can work through it with her should she ever want to do that." I can't believe I didn't know this about her. She is always so nonchalant about her past. Maybe she doesn't like to think about it, I don't know. I just hate knowing this. I hate what happened to her. How could anyone, especially the person you love, ever lay a finger on you? How could anyone hurt my beautiful sweet Eliza? I don't understand. I'm way past struggling to understand this.

"Please don't go in there and bring it up." He gives me a pleading look. "At least wait until we have left later tonight."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't do that." Picking up our pace a little, he grips my wrist and stops me.

"You are the one for her, Arizona." He smiles. "I've known it since the first day she ever talked about you to me. She _never_ discussed her relationships. When she talked about you, though? God, she lit up."

"She's the one for me too, Jay." I give him a look of complete certainty. "And I'll never hurt her."

"I know you wouldn't." He presses a kiss to my cheek. "I'd have kicked your ass by now if I thought you would. She's my girl. My best friend. The sister I always wanted." Approaching the decking, I spot my own best friend in my living room and I head inside.

"Ted's, it's so good to see you…" Closing the distance between us, she pulls me into a hug and I hold her tight. I'm feeling a little strange right now, and I don't know how to feel about anything Jay has just told me. I know he means well and I'm happy that he was honest with me…I just don't know how to talk to Eliza about it. Maybe I shouldn't even bring it up, but I feel like I should tell her that I know.

"This place is incredible…" She let's go of me. "Now I know what you meant when we were growing up. I can see why you love it here."

"Pretty, isn't it?" I throw her a wink. "Before we get this drinking underway, Eliza and I have something we need to say." My fiancé approaches me and I take her hand in my own. It feels different, though. Like, I'm protecting her from any more pain. Like, I'm silently telling her that I've got her. "You wanna say anything?" I ask her as our friends look between us.

"Yeah, I do." The smiles, her arm snaking around my waist. "Just…You guys know how much Arizona and I love each other…" Tightening her grip on my waist, she glances at me and I give her a smile. "She is the most incredible woman I've ever met, and honestly, I'm not sure I could ever imagine my life without her. She just makes me smile a ridiculous amount every day."

"You're the incredible one." I lean in and place a kiss below her ear.

"She will be leaving me next year to go on her book tour, but I had to do something before that happens. I had to do whatever possible to make sure this world knows she is mine, and she is taken…" My fiancé's smile beaming, Jay narrows his eyes and gives me a smirk. "So, last week…I asked this gorgeous woman beside me to marry me." She pulls me in impossibly close. "And I don't know how I got so lucky, but she said yes."

A gasp falling from Teddy's mouth, Jay pulls his best friend into a hug and I'm surprised to find tears in my own best friends eyes. "You good, Ted's?"

"Yeah." She rolls her eyes. "Freaking allergies."

"Okay, wait! Hold up!" Jay cuts in. "Girl, I hope to god I'm going to be your maid of honor or whatever it is?"

"Of course." Eliza smiles.

"Then I guess I'm your best man since fucking Cinderella over there has bagged that role?" Teddy laughs, her eyes rolling playfully. "I'm so happy for you, Zo." Pulling me into a hug, my body relaxes and I know that she is totally fine with this.

"Girl…" Jay switches his gaze to Teddy. "This is going to be so much fun."

Leaving the two of them to discuss whatever Jay has in mind, I pull Eliza to one side and wrap my arms around her waist. Her eyes studying my face, she gives me the most incredible smile and it almost blinds me. "I love you, Eliza." I press my lips to her own. "I love you and I'd never do anything to hurt you…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	57. Chapter 57

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Seven

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

This evening has been something really beautiful. I mean, the whole day has, but having our friends here and sharing our news with them has finalized my proposal for us. I never thought I'd ever propose to anyone in my life, but Arizona is the one I see my future with. She's the one I want to share everything with. The highs and the lows. The tears of sadness and the tears of joy. Whatever it may be, I want her with me for that. Sure, we have a pretty crazy future ahead of us in terms of her work, but everything will be okay. I will be here waiting for her and I know that she will always come home to me. I know that she will always think of me whilst she is away, and when she returns, it will be like she has never left. Like we were never apart.

Teddy and Jay are getting on incredibly well, and I know that our wedding will be perfect if they are involved. I know that they will ensure everything goes to plan. They both seem that way inclined. I know none of the plans matter so long as Arizona is by my side, but they will just make the day even more special than it will already be. Whether it is my dress or my shoes, Jay will give it to me straight. He will give me nothing but his complete honesty, Teddy too. We talked for a little while earlier and she is a totally different person to who I first met when Arizona and I first started dating. She doesn't look at me like she used to. Like she held nothing but complete disgust for me. She was open and sweet about everything that is to come. She even checked on me since my attack. You know, see how everything is going for me. For us. I appreciate that, and I hope that we can grow a little closer over the months leading up to our wedding. I never wanted to fall out with her, but she was struggling with her own issues and I understand that. I get that she was trying to protect herself.

Standing in the kitchen and refilling my glass of white, Teddy and Arizona are laughing at the far side of the room. She looks happy. My fiancé has a look of complete happiness on her gorgeous face and I could watch her forever. That smile. How her eyes brighten when she looks at me. Like I'm the only woman that exists in her world. I could so watch her all day. Giving Jay a smile as he approaches me, I lean back against the counter and he comes to stand beside me. "I'm so happy for you, Eliza." He nudges my shoulder and gives me an honest smile. "Who'd have thought you would be here, though, huh?"

"I know." I sigh, a small smile curling on my lips. "Feels right, though."

"Oh, I don't doubt that for one minute." He nods. "Just...all those months ago when you cried to me and told me that she would never accept you for who you are…"

"Yeah, I'm one lucky girl, Jay."

"You think?" He wrinkles his nose. "You don't think that she is just as lucky?"

"No." I shake my head. "Arizona is perfect…she always has been. We both know that she could do so much better than me, but she chose me." I smile. "She saw me as the real person that I am, and she loves me."

"Eliza, have you any idea how amazing you two look together?" He raises his eyebrow. "I don't even mean how unbelievably gorgeous you both look. I mean the way you are together? You've barely disconnected from each other all night."

"Yeah, I like to be close to her."

"The way she looks at you." He sighs. "God, I wish someone would look at me that way."

"Someone will." I wrap my arm around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. "You'll get your happy ending, too."

"No, nobody will have anything like what you two have, Eliza. That love doesn't exist for many people. I mean, I didn't even know it existed until I saw you two together."

"Do you like her?" I ask, knowing how protective my best friend is of me. "Of all the others…is she the one for you, too?"

"Damn right she is." He states, no hesitation in his voice.

"You know, of all the women I've dated, and all the ones I've got a little attached to…she is the _only_ one I wanted to like me back. She is the only one I've ever wanted approval from."

"Why?" He watches my fiancé as she throws her head back laughing.

"Because I knew from the moment I met her that I loved her." I smile to myself. "I hadn't even spoken to her, but her eyes just drew me in and I'd never felt that before. I'd never felt that connection that people talk about. I simply handed her a fresh coffee, and I knew in that moment that I wanted her. That I loved her. She was just so sweet and honest and that is all I ever wanted."

"None of the others matter then, huh?"

"No, they never did." I shrug. "Arizona is the only woman I've ever felt safe with. Not even in terms of actual safety, but like our relationship has always felt safe. You know? Even when I had worries, she was there…loving me. She's just incredible, Jay and I don't even know what to do with any of this sometimes."

"Just go with it, honey…" He pulls me into a hug. "Just…go with it." I love talking things out with him. He always gives me his opinion. His _honest_ opinion. "I just have something I need to say to you, but not here…"

"What's up?" I furrow my brow. "Is everything okay?"

"I hope so." He gives me a nervous smile. "Can we just step outside for a minute?" Giving him a nod, I follow him out through the open patio doors and he closes it behind me. "Eliza, I said something to Arizona earlier when I arrived and I figured she already knew."

"Knew what?" I give him a look of confusion.

"About Heidi." My stomach flipping, Jay drops his gaze and I close my eyes. "I thought she knew all about her and I went and brought it up."

"Jay…" I sigh.

"I'm so sorry." His eyes still fixed on the decking between us, he shakes his head and I know he is worried about my reaction. "Eliza, I never meant to meddle, and I never meant to bring up your past…I just, we were talking and I didn't think before I spoke."

"It's okay." I give his arm a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about it."

"I asked her not to bring it up with you but I wanted you to know that I'd messed up." He admits. "I wanted you to be prepared when she does say something about it. If she ever does…"

"Jay, it's fine…honestly." His eyes find mine and I give him a smile. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who should have told her."

"She's not mad at you…" He shakes his head. "She was shocked, but she didn't seem mad."

"I'll talk to her, okay?" I take my wine glass between my teeth. "I don't know what I'll say, but I'll get it out there." I didn't intentionally keep my last relationship from Arizona, but I guess she should know. Maybe it was the embarrassment of what happened that prevented me from telling her, I don't know. I know that she would never judge me for it, though. I know that she wouldn't see it as being my own fault. Because it was. If I'd just agreed to Heidi's proposal, she wouldn't have hit me. Sometimes it's easier to just say yes and have done with it. "Come on, let's get back inside before they realize we are gone."

"You're okay, though?" He asks.

"I'm fine, Jay." Tugging on his hand, I pull him back inside our home and Arizona glances up at me, an adorable smile only for me gracing her beautiful features. "How can I not be fine when I have someone who looks at me like that?" Mouthing 'I love you' to me, my own smile grows wider, and I cannot wait to be in her arms tonight.

* * *

Our night finally over, tiredness has totally taken over my body but I don't care right now. I don't care because the people who matter most to me are here and they are all I will ever need in my life. Sure, I'm a little uncertain about the conversation I'm about to have with Arizona, but I know that everything will be okay. She clearly doesn't hate me for not telling her, but I'd understand if she questioned my reasons for keeping it to myself.

"Ladies, it's been the best night ever!" Jay pulls us both into a hug and I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you for coming." I smile as I pull back.

"Girl, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He holds up his hand. "You know where to find me if you need me, okay?"

"I know." Giving Teddy a smile, she pulls me into a hug and I feel completely at ease around her tonight. "Good to see you, Teddy."

"You too, Eliza." She turns her attention to my fiancé and gives her a smile. "Who'd have thought you'd find the girl of your dreams and you'd marry her, Robbins."

"Well, Altman…" She shrugs. "Someone out there for everyone." Giving her a knowing look, Teddy rolls her eye and steps out onto the porch. "Maybe we will find you someone at the wedding."

"Mm, maybe." She smirks. Watching our friends head off down the gravel path, Arizona wraps her arm around my waist and pulls me a little closer to her. The door closing, my fiancé locks up for the night and we both head into the living room. Dropping down onto the couch, a sigh falls from my mouth and she comes to rest beside me.

"You okay?" She asks.

"Yeah." I take her hand in my own. "Always will be with you by my side." Studying her face, I know she desperately wants to say something to me. Something about what Jay told her earlier. "What's up?"

"N-Nothing." She drops her gaze. "Just trying to figure out how I got so lucky."

"Made for each other…" I shrug. "We both know it."

"But why me?" She furrows her brow. "Why am I the one who is so blessed to have you in my life? Why did I get the happy ending?" She stares at me like I have the answers to her questions, but I don't. Why do some people get a happy ending, but others don't? Why do some people spend their lives searching for the one…only to die alone?

"I don't know…" I admit. "But I know that I'll never need anyone else, and that is all that matters to me. The reasons behind it aren't important…"

"You look so beautiful tonight, Eliza." She shifts a little and faces me fully. "I need you to know that…"

"I'm okay, Arizona." I give her a sad smile. "I know Jay said some stuff to you earlier…"

"I didn't know how to bring it up." She gives me an awkward look. "I figured you'd kept it to yourself for a reason so I wasn't sure he was supposed to tell me, you know?"

"No, I should have told you." I nod. "It's just not something I talk about, is all."

"And that's totally fine." She smiles. "I don't expect you to tell me about it if you don't want to. I mean, you obviously don't want to or I'd have known about it before now…"

"There isn't much to say really…" I shrug. "She used to get a little rough if she didn't get her own way."

"You say it likes its normal behavior." Arizona furrows her brow. "It's really not…"

"It was to me," I reply. "It was less hassle to just nod and agree with her. It certainly made my life easier." A slight laugh falling from my mouth, she sits up in her seat and studies my face. "It's okay, Arizona. It was my own fault for allowing her to be that way with me."

"You can't defend her actions, Eliza." She scoffs. "Nobody should ever hurt you."

"But I allowed her to." I sigh. "I allowed her to rule me so I only have myself to blame. If I'd taken myself out of the situation, it wouldn't have happened."

"Did you love her?" She asks.

"You know what...I did." I agree. "I loved her to a point."

"Then none of this is your fault." She shakes her head. "You don't hurt the person who loves you. You don't do that to anyone, whoever they are."

"And that is why you are so fucking perfect for me." Pulling her into my lap, she straddles my legs and my hands settle on her thighs. "That's why _you_ are the only one I've ever let in since."

"I'd never hurt you, Eliza." She runs her thumb across my cheek. "I'd never lay a hand on you."

"I know you wouldn't." I give her a genuine smile. "I know you are the softest, sweetest person in this world…and I got you. I got you and I'm never letting you go." Fisting my hand in her shirt, I pull her into a kiss and she smiles against my lips. "I wouldn't survive without you…" I whisper against her mouth. "If I lost you, I know I wouldn't ever survive."

"Good thing I ain't going anywhere, huh?"

"So good." Her forehead resting on my own, her blue eyes shine as bright as they always do and I could totally get lost in them right now.

"Did she not mind your dancing?" She asks. "You know, for someone who was so needy…how did that work?"

"So long as I danced for her every night when I returned home, she was okay," I admit. "She would be waiting for me to walk through the door every weekend…"

"So, you were more like her personal private dancer than her girlfriend?" She asks, a look of complete disgust settling on her face. "She used you, basically?"

"I guess so." I agree. "That's why I turned down her proposal…"

"And you got a fractured jaw for that." Her voice breaking, I wrap my arms around her waist and my hands slip beneath her shirt.

"Hey, look at me." I dip my head a little and meet her gaze. "I'm good, Arizona. So good. You don't need to think about this anymore. I don't."

"I just hate knowing that she did that to you." She cries. "I hate knowing that someone physically hurt you because they thought it was acceptable. I just…" Cutting her off when I press my lips to her own, my tongue slips into her mouth and a low moan rumbles in her throat. This doesn't need to become something we need to discuss. It has never been, so it doesn't need to change right now. It doesn't need to even be a part of my past anymore. Arizona erases any of my past that I don't want to think about the second she places her hands on my skin. She always has done that to me.

"How about I take you to bed…" I moan against her lips. "You know, so we can forget all of this together?"

"I don't think I can make it to the bedroom." She lifts my tee up and over my head. "I've wanted you all night."

"I think we need the bedroom," I whisper as I pop the button on her jeans. "I think we really need the bedroom."

"Yeah?" She asks, breathlessly.

"Yeah." I smile as she climbs off of me and pulls me up to my feet. "I want you to be comfortable when you're screaming my name, beautiful."

"Who says I'll be screaming your name?" My fiancé smirks.

"Well, the way I'm going to take you from behind…it's the only possible outcome."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	58. Chapter 58

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Eight

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My body thrown down onto our bed, my jeans and panties are tugged down my thighs and I cannot wait for the hours ahead of us. Right now I'm lay face down on our bed, and yeah…bring it on. I mean, it's no secret Eliza completely rocks my world, but I feel like we need this now, more than ever before. Eliza's past is playing on my mind and I need to feel her against me. I need her hands on me as we mold into one…just like we do most nights. I need her to know that we are totally in this together. I mean, I know she knows, but after the things I heard tonight...I feel like we need to be reminded of each other. What we are capable of. How in love we are. It makes sense, right? There is nothing wrong with a little reassurance. "Eliza…" I groan, my hips pushing deep into the mattress beneath me. "You've got me worked up…so, do something about it."

"Ahh…" She grips my thighs and pulls me down the bed a little. "That attitude has made an appearance…"

"Please, baby?" I glance over my shoulder and give her a pleading look.

"That won't work with me tonight." She gives me a sad smile. "But nice try…"

"Fuck!" I drop my face against the pillow and whine. "I really need you, Eliza."

"How much?" She flips me over and straddles my hips, her center grinding against my own. "How much do you need me, Arizona?"

"S-So much." I breathe out. "I've thought about you all night."

"And you're soaked, aren't you?" She smirks. She knows exactly what she does to me so I don't know why she asks me these questions. "Dripping, huh?"

"Completely…" I smile. "All for you. _Only_ for you…"

"Now, how am I supposed to refuse you?" She smiles. "That gorgeous smile. Those beautiful eyes. Eyes that only shine for me…"

"So, don't refuse me." I narrowed my eyes. "Just fuck me like you know you want to…"

"Mm, tempting." She bites down on her bottom lip, her center forcing down against my own. "But I think I need to play with you a little more first…"

"Play with me?" I raise an eyebrow. "Just how exactly do you plan to do that?"

"Oh, I have my ways." She leans down, pressing her lips to my own. "But I think I'll keep that to myself a little longer."

"Naughty." I smile against her lips. "But hot…"

"So hot, you cannot possibly handle it." Pulling back, she studies my face and my body aches for her touch. Everything about her sends me off the scale, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't want to ever be any different than this. "You need a little more, huh?"

"I just need you, Eliza." Forcing my hips up against her own, she gasps and closes her eyes. "Inside me. All over me. Fucking me good." Reaching out towards the nightstand, she opens the drawer and pulls something out. Something I haven't seen before. "W-What…"

"Just be quiet." She smirks. "I'll do what I want, and you know I will." _Fuck, that's hot._ I love this side of her. The side that is totally in control of me. It leaves me a trembling mess every single time. Climbing off of me, she spreads my legs and smiles, her teeth tugging on her bottom lip. "You want me to make you feel good, huh?" Pressing her thumb against my throbbing clit, a gasp falls from my mouth and my hips lift from the bed.

"Y-Yes…" My eyes closing, a small smile curls onto my lips and a light vibration sounds out through our bedroom. "Oh god…" My words barely audible, she removes her thumb and replaces it with the vibrator she seems to have purchased for us. "Eliza, I-I." My hand resting on my forehead, she runs the tip of it the length of my center and gathers my arousal. "Fuck." Her free hand running up the inside of my thigh, she toys with my entrance before suddenly slipping the vibrator inside of me. "Oh, w-wow." Increasing the strength a little, my walls throb around the toy buried inside of me and my mouth hangs open.

"Beautiful…" She whispers as she presses her thumb against my clit again. "And tight."

"Baby, oh god." Hitting that spot deep inside of me, my hand's fist in the sheet either side of my body and she knows she's pushing me towards the edge. She knows I need to come, but she isn't going to let me. She is going to drag this out until I'm begging her. "God, that feels good."

"Feels good to watch, too." I lift my head a little and her eyes are fixed on my dripping core. "So good that I'm soaked." She presses a kiss to my thigh before slipping out of me.

"N-No." I moan. "Don't stop."

"But I want to." She furrows her brow.

"Please, Eliza." I give her a pleading look.

"Turn over." She demands. "You know how I want you…" _Oh god!_ Slowly turning onto my stomach, my body is throbbing. I don't know how much longer I can hang on for if I'm being honest. My legs are already trembling and my breathing is labored. "Ass in the air." She taps my thigh and I lift up onto my knees. "Perfect."

"Eliza…" Groaning as she runs a single finger through my arousal, my upper body rests on the mattress and the sound of vibration is music to my ears. "Shit." The toy pushed back inside of me once again, my body falls further forward and I can't hold myself up. The sensations my fiancé is creating have got me falling closer to the edge with every breath she takes.

"Look at that…" She whispers as she sinks her teeth into my ass. "I can barely move inside of you." Gripping my ass, she opens me up to her and the moan she releases causes fresh arousal to seep from my body. Increasing the intensity, my breath catches in my throat and she slowly thrusts in and out of me, my walls begging for release. My body craving the most intense orgasm of my freaking life.

"Take me, Eliza." My voice doesn't even sound like it belongs to me right now. My body doesn't feel like my own. The sound of my soaked sex filling the air, I try to slam back against her but she has a firm grip on my hip.

"Don't move." She tightens her grip and stops any movement inside of me.

"Baby, please?" I drop my head between my shoulders. "Just…please?" The intensity once again increasing, my stomach tightens and my knees almost buckle. "Fuck!"

"Move and I stop." She states. "If you wanna come, you'll do as I say, Arizona."

"I-I…Eliza, I can't." I whimper. "I can't."

"You can, and you will." Her movements resume and I grip onto whatever I can. I have to. "That's it, beautiful…" She moans. "Take it like you want it." _Holy shit!_ She's killing me right now. She's actually killing me. "Fuck, you pull me in so deep."

"Eliza." My words more of a whine, she stops and I release a deep breath.

"Beg!" She spits. "If you wanna come…you'll beg!"

"Please…" I breathe out. "Please fuck me, Eliza." A sudden loss of contact, I could cry in frustration right now. "No!" My breath catching when she slips two fingers deep inside of me, my fiancé slams into me from behind and I'm about to crumble. Curling her fingers, she hits that spot and my eyes slam shut. Gripping the edge of the bed, she presses the tip of the vibrator against my clit and my world turns black. "Fuckkk…" No oxygen left in my body, my mouth hangs open and I come harder than I ever have. My thighs desperately trying to close around my fiancé's hand, she slows her pace and I fall flat. "Oh god…oh god."

"Mm, that was kinda beautiful." She drops down beside me, nothing but silence surrounding us. "I love you."

"I can't actually breathe." I moan, my face planted in the bed beneath me. "You killed me."

"You'd better rally because that wasn't the end of our night together." _Okay, my life officially ends tonight._

* * *

Waking to the most incredible sight, I turn on my side and study my gorgeous fiancé's sleeping form. Last night ended around 4 am this morning and my body is totally spent. There is no way I can get out of this bed today. I know Eliza is incredibly sexy and she has some amazing skills in the bedroom…but Jesus Christ, last night was breathtaking. Literally. I just don't know how she does it. I don't know how she makes me totally lose control and give in to her every demand. I'm not complaining, but it's something I haven't quite mastered yet. When the roles are reversed, I cave. Every time…I cave. Maybe I'm not supposed to be the controlling kind, though. Maybe she is supposed to be the one who takes everything from me time and time again. I'm totally okay with that. I'm okay being the weak one.

Once again, I find myself wondering where the hell my life went so right. I mean, I'm staring at her, and her beauty is enough to steal my breath. The way she sleeps, how she breathes so softly…the slight smile on her lips that she usually has before she wakes each morning. God, she is just out of this world. My world. Tracing the outline of Eliza's perfect lips with my fingertip, her smile widens but she doesn't open her beautiful eyes. She simply enjoys the sensation of me touching her, and it's kinda perfect. _She_ is kinda perfect. "You make me crazy…" I whisper as she shifts a little closer to me, her naked body pressing against my own.

"Mm...I know." She cracks one eye open and I give her a dimpled smile. "But watching you like I did last night makes me just as crazy." Her hand settling on my thigh, she draws circles on my skin and once again…I'm aroused. "Just knowing that you belong to me blows my mind."

"Oh, I belong to you, huh?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Damn right you do." She smirks as she pulls me into a kiss. "And don't ever forget it."

"Mm…" Climbing on top of her, my hands press into the bed either side of her shoulders and I narrow my eyes. "How could I ever forget it when you make me feel so good?" Trailing my lips down between her breasts, I graze my teeth over her nipple and her back arches from the bed. "Last night…" I smile against her skin. "God, you knew exactly what I wanted." Circling my tongue around her navel, she moans and shifts a little until I'm settled between her legs. "And this body…" I press a kiss to the inside of her thigh. "...it belongs to me."

"Fuck…" Separating her folds, the tip of my tongue toys with her clit and her hand grips the back of my head. "Oh god." Her moan rumbling deep in her throat, and she rocks against my mouth. "Make me come, Arizona."

"Shit, you taste just as good as you did last night." I slip a single finger inside of her. "And you're just so fucking wet for me." Gathering her arousal on my tongue, I run it the length of her center before pushing a second finger inside. Working her up, she tries to close her thighs around my head as I suck her swollen clit into my mouth, but I simply push her legs wider apart.

"Oh, fuck." Her grip in my hair tightens. "That feels incredible." Releasing her clit with a pop, I push in and out of her and her walls squeeze my fingers tight. "A-Arizona." She pants. "Baby, I-I." My thrusts increasing, she forces her ass deeper into the bed and I curl my fingers, hitting her exactly where she likes it. "O-Oh. Y-Yes." Her body trembling, I glance up at her and her teeth are tugging at her bottom lip. "I-I, oh god, I'm coming. Baby, I'm coming." Fresh arousal coating my fingers, I slip out of me and lap everything up she has to offer me.

"Good morning…" Smiling as I climb back up her body, her chest heaves and she gives me the most incredible smile. "At least, I think it is."

"Oh, it is." She agrees as she pulls me in by the back of the neck. "Every morning is a good morning with you…"

"It's a beautiful day outside." My fingertips ghost up and down her collarbone. "Can we just do us today?"

"I'd love nothing more…" She trails her thumb across my bottom lip. "Relax. Maybe not even get dressed?"

"Oh, now you're talking." I agree. Silence falling between us, this woman makes me feel everything I never thought I'd ever feel in my life. Sure, my life was good before she arrived, but now? Now it is incredible and I'm not sure I can even remember it before her. I'm not sure I want to, either. "What kind of wedding do you want?" I ask.

"One that includes you by my side." She brushes my hair from my face. "Here. Out by the lake."

"Wow, sounds kinda beautiful." I breathe out.

"It will be." She nods. "I can't believe I'm even going to be called someone's wife, so you can have whatever you want, Arizona. If you want a huge grand wedding, you've got it."

"No." I shake my head. "The one you want sounds perfect to me. For us." It's true. Becoming her wife in our own home will be amazing. I don't need grand halls or a fairytale wedding. My fairytale is lying beneath me right now so I'm good on that front. I know exactly what I've got and how happy she makes me. "Are you excited?"

"Scared." She breathes out. "But it's a good kind of scared. You know? The kind that feels crazy but everything you want at the same time? The butterflies are there…but they're the right kind of butterflies."

"You have butterflies when you think about it?" I smile.

"I do…"

"Me too." Pressing my lips to her own, she smiles against my mouth and I can't fight back this feeling of insane happiness I have going on right now. I can't stop this undeniable chemistry I feel between us. It's always there. It always has been. It's the reason I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be every time I open my eyes each morning. It's why I smile every time I wake up beside my fiancé. Things may be tough in the future, but isn't that what's supposed to happen? Doesn't that show our strength when we face times of hurt or uncertainty? Those times are the true test of any relationship and I know that I will still sleep beside Eliza in fifty years time. I know that she will still be here, holding my hand and loving me when I take my very last breath. I know it because I can feel it in every touch of hers. In how she looks at me. In how she smiles at me. I know it because I'm the only one that she sees, and I always will be. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you, too." She pulls me against her body and wraps her arms around me, holding me tight. "I love you so much that I can't even describe it." She nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck. "Just know that I'll always need you, okay? Even when you think I don't…I do. I'll always need you by my side."

"You'll always have me." I give her a knowing look. "Good times and bad, okay?" Shifting a little, I rest my head on her chest and settle down. Her heartbeat soothing me, I release a slight sigh and close my eyes. I don't know much about our future, or even what the rest of this day will bring, but I know it will be pure happiness. Happiness and love. Love so strong that words aren't even needed right now.

 _Our life is going to be so breathtakingly beautiful._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	59. Chapter 59

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Nine

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ELIZA'S POV

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 _One month later…_

I'm not sure I've ever felt so lonely. Of all the years I spent single, this beats it. Having someone in your life who you love, but can't touch right now…yeah, it's killing me. Arizona has been away for the past four days and honestly, I'm lost. So very very lost. I knew it would be hard once her writing got back underway, but I didn't imagine it would be this hard. Like, some nights I've laid awake in bed wondering what she is doing. Is she okay? Is she settled in her hotel or is she running herself into the ground? I hate not being able to see her and hold her and kiss her, but I understand that she has to work. She left for Buffalo on Sunday evening and it's now Thursday morning. She isn't due back until Sunday morning and I'm not sure I will still be breathing by then. I know it's all a little pathetic, but since we met, we have barely spent any time away from each other. Certainly not a week, anyway. We talk every day and we FaceTime whenever she isn't busy with the workshop she is attending, but it's not the same. It could never be the same as having her by my side. It works, though, I guess. It has to. I know she is worried about me heading home from the club alone tomorrow and Saturday night but I've told her everything is good here. I've told her that she doesn't have to worry about me. I'm feeling better than ever right now in terms of my confidence and I'm used to walking the streets of New York at three in the morning so everything will be okay. The problem is, since my attack…she has taken and collected me from work every weekend. Every Wednesday shift, too.

She does worry too much, but I know she cares. I know she cares more than anyone else ever has. I just don't want it to interrupt her writing or her time away. I know she wants to be here too, but I think the alone time could be good for her. So much has happened in the past few months and I think that maybe being away from me will give her time to reflect on what our lives have become. How we are evolving. How we are getting better and better together. I don't want her to be away from me, but we have no choice so it may as well be of some use to her. Me…I'm just feeling like the neediest bitch in the world right now. She has that effect on me, though, and I know that it will always be that way for us. I know that no matter what the circumstances are between us…I will always want and need her in our home with me.

I love this place, I really do…but it feels so much bigger when she isn't in it with me. Everything feels more open and that little bit colder. If I've realized anything since she left, it is that I cannot sleep without her by my side. Holding me. Breathing softly and perfectly against my skin. Her head resting on my chest and her arm wrapped around my midsection. I've realized that and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope once her book tour begins. I'm not sure I will be able to stay away from her for so long. If this is the impact she has on me just by being away for a week, then no…I cannot and I will not stay away from her for so long again.

My cell buzzing on the coffee table in front of me, my eyes light up when I find my fiancé's name on the screen. Almost falling on my face as I sit forward and grab the device, I hit accept and my heart rate settles when I hear her breathing through the phone. "Hey…"

"Hi, baby." My smile growing wider, I rest back on our couch and pull a blanket over my legs. "How is Buffalo?"

"A little cold today." She sighs. "Back home?"

"So-so." I shrug to myself. "Everything is cold and miserable without you here…"

"I'm sorry." Her voice sounds a little tired but it's only late morning so I don't have to worry about losing her to sleep anytime soon. "Just a few more days, right?"

"Yeah." I agree. "You're back Sunday morning, right?"

"There's been a change of plans." Her voice void of any excitement, I know she isn't about to tell me that she is coming home earlier than planned. "I'm sorry, but it's going to be Sunday night…quite late."

"O-Oh." I sigh. "No problem. I'll just change some stuff around."

"What stuff?" She asks, her voice laced with confusion.

"Nothing important," I reassure her. "I'd booked us a table in the city. Figured we could have a date night since I haven't seen you in forever. I'll rearrange."

"I'm so sorry, Eliza." She breathes out. "Cheryl wants me here a little longer. We just…we have a lot to get through and it's easier to get it done whilst I'm already here for this conference and workshop." _Fucking Cheryl._ "If I get this done whilst I'm here, I can take a few days off when I get back home."

"You don't have to explain." I hate that she is away with her ex, but I have to remember that she is also her boss. I have to remember that this is business. "I'll just see you when you get home, okay?"

"You will." She agrees. "Have you been okay?"

"Since I spoke to you last night?" I laugh. "Yeah, I've been fine."

"Right, yeah." She giggles. "Sorry, I just miss you."

"I miss you, too." My eyes closing, I take in the sound of her voice for the short time that I have it to myself. "I should let you get back to your crazy schedule."

"Just writing." Arizona sighs. "Spending the day in the hotel room today. You know, sweats and hair up."

"Sounds perfect." My mind taking me to all of the times I've had her like that, it settles me a little to know that she is safe in her hotel room. Away from the cold weather. Settled. Hard at work. "Call me if you take a break from your amazing work, okay? I'll be here waiting for you."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too, Arizona." Our call ending, I throw my cell down on the couch beside me and a sadness settles inside of me. I'm here alone and Cheryl is with her. I don't care if they aren't together anymore and I don't care if I do kinda trust the woman…I still hate the idea that she is spending the week with my fiancé and I'm not.

 _To hell with this. I know what I have to do…_

* * *

Stepping out of the airport, my flight was pleasant and I still cannot believe I managed to get one today. Sure, it's only a short flight but I didn't expect to bag one the same day. If I'd known this, I'd have flown out days ago. Hell, I'd have followed right behind my fiancé on Sunday if I'd known. She doesn't know I've flown to Buffalo but I know she is going to be beside herself when she sees me. I mean, we both miss each other ridiculously, so yeah…tonight should be interesting. Interesting and intense. Settling into the back of the cab I arranged, the biggest smile appears on my face and I don't know how much longer I can wait to see my gorgeous Arizona. I was so agitated on the flight and yeah, when it landed I flew off that plane as fast as I possibly could. Nobody was getting in my way. _Nobody_.

Taking my cell from my purse, I check the last conversation we had via text message and my face hurts from smiling so hard.

 ** _I could really use your hands right now…_**

 ** _Yours hurting, beautiful? E x_**

 ** _Oh, no. Not for my writing. For my body. A x_**

 ** _Well, okay then. E x_**

 ** _I have a lot of sexual tension going on right now…_**

 ** _I'll bet you do. E x_**

 ** _Not sure I can wait until Sunday. A x_**

 ** _Maybe you should call me when you really cannot wait any longer. I'd be happy to assist you long distance. E x_**

 ** _You've got it. Tonight? A x_**

 ** _Wouldn't miss that call for the world. E x_**

Clearing my throat when I realize that my sex is throbbing, I glance up and find the driver staring at me through the rearview mirror. Sitting up a little better in my seat, I release a deep breath and he pulls up outside the hotel I know Arizona is staying at. Handing him some cash, I climb from the cab and head for the trunk. I don't even have the patience to wait for him to exit the vehicle and by the time he finally joins me, my luggage is already beside me and I'm straightening myself out. "Thank you." Giving him a smile, I turn on my heel and pull my luggage behind me. _God, I need to see her._ I already know what room number my fiancé is staying in, and I plan to head straight there. She sent me all of the details when she arrived on Sunday evening…although, I'm not entirely sure why she did that. _She so knew I would show up here._

Heading for the elevator, I hit the button that will take me to the third floor and rest back against the glass wall behind me. The carriage empty, it gives me a second or two to compose myself. I don't need it, though. I'm going to rip her clothes off her body the second she opens that door. It's inevitable. The bell signaling my arrival, I step out and drag my belongings behind me. Knowing that my fiancé is just a few rooms away from me right now makes me feel all kinds and nothing at the same time. The night I know we are going to have is already leaving me completely numb. Numb, yet a total mess at the same time.

 _347…_

My eyes trailing the door numbers, I come to a stop outside her room and give myself a moment to really work myself up. _Who am I kidding…I'm soaked thinking about her._ Curling my hand into a fist, I knock loudly and glance at my watch. It's a little after seven in the evening, so I'm hoping she will be here. She could be eating out with the guys she was meeting here, I don't know. Hearing movement behind the door, I breathe a sigh of relief. The door opening, I'm met with those gorgeous blue eyes and I cannot remove the smile from my face.

"E-Eliza…" She furrows her brow. "What are you doing here? I mean, how?"

"The same way you got here, beautiful." Leaning in, I press a kiss to her lips and she pulls back. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Stepping aside, she allows me access to her room. "I didn't expect you to show up here."

"Figured I'd surprise you." I throw her a wink. "You know since our conversation earlier…about needing my hands."

"Y-Yeah." Pulling my luggage further into the room, it's a beautiful place but that isn't what I'm focusing on right now. "I-I, uh…"

"Either you expected me here tonight or you are planning on meeting with someone else…" Turning to face her, her eyes land on the two wine glasses beside the bottle of red on a nearby table.

"Arizona, do you have some lotion I could borrow?" The bathroom door opening, my mouth falls open when I find Cheryl standing in nothing but a towel. "O-Oh, uh…"

"Well?" I raise an eyebrow. "Do you have lotion for her, or?"

"Eliza…" She breathes out, her eyes finding the floor space between us. "It's not what you think."

"I'll just change and leave." Cheryl clears her throat and steps back into the bathroom.

"No." I stop her. "You stay. Enjoy your evening together. _I'll_ leave." What the hell is going on right now? Why the hell am I in a hotel room with my _supposed_ fiancé and her almost naked ex-girlfriend? I don't know what is happening right now, but I can feel the room closing in on me and I don't like it. I feel way too exposed right now. I feel like my entire life is flashing before my eyes. I need to leave. I need to breathe. I should never have come here.

"Eliza." Arizona steps closer to me and tries to take my hand in her own but I pull away. "Baby, please…"

"Don't!" I hold up my hands. "Don't you dare." Shaking my head, I grip the handle on my luggage and head for the hotel room door.

"Eliza, hear Arizona out." Cheryl tries to stop me at the door and I give her a look of complete disgust.

"Fuck. You." Pushing past her, I step out into the corridor and I can hear my fiancé crying back inside. I don't have it in me to have this conversation right now. Whatever the reasons for Cheryl being there, though, it's still not right. It's still inappropriate. She is her ex and she is wearing nothing but a towel. I fear the worst, but I honestly hope I'm wrong. _I don't think I am._ Is this what Arizona planned for when she was away from me? Does she want an open relationship? She could have just talked it out with me. Had I known that this is what she wanted, I never would have proposed to her. I cant share her…I really cant.

She may love me and she may want a life with me, but she's known Cheryl a lot longer than she's known me. Not only does she know her, she had a three-year relationship with the woman. I'd like to just be mad at Cheryl, but I cant. I cant because it takes two and Arizona has her in her room. It seems pretty self-explanatory to me.

 ** _Come back. A x_**

Scoffing at the words on my screen, I shake my head and hit the elevator call button. I can't speak to her right now. I can't even look at her. I need a large drink and I need to seriously think about what I just saw back in that room. I don't like this. I don't like any of it. I would never have another woman showering in my hotel room. Especially not one I used to sleep with. I need to take myself out of this situation right now. I have to have five minutes to myself. If I don't, I'll go crazy. I'll go crazy and I'll say some things I really don't want to say.

 ** _Please? A x_**

 ** _I can't…_**

 ** _I love you, Eliza. Where are you? A x_**

 ** _It doesn't matter where I am. I clearly interrupted your evening with her, so enjoy._**

Closing my eyes, I try to stop the tears that are threatening to fall. The people in the hotel lobby don't need to see me break down. They don't need to see the mess I'm about to become any minute now. I mean, of all the things we've been through. The attack and the way she cared for me after it…and this happens. She has her ex in her hotel room? No, I can't even begin to think about what any of this means.

 _I didn't realize we were such a mess…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	60. Chapter 60

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I don't know what is happening. I don't know what my life has just suddenly become, but I know Eliza is done with me. I mean, she has just walked out. Disappeared. _Disappointed._ I know that nothing has happened in this room but she doesn't. Why would she? Why would she think that nothing was going on between Cheryl and I? This was a mistake. Coming to Buffalo was a complete mistake. I knew it didn't feel right. I knew _I_ didn't feel right about it. I just wanted to improve myself. Better my skills. I just wanted to try hard so Eliza and I could have a comfortable life. _What life?_ She is gone. Right now, I don't have a life. I don't have love. I have nothing. At least, that's how it feels. It feels like I've just lost everything the second she walked out that door.

"Arizona?" Cheryl pulls me from my thoughts and I glance up at her.

"Will you put some fucking clothes on!" Grabbing my room key, I take a hoodie from the bed and step out into the corridor. "And get out!" I have to find my fiancé. I have to try to at least explain myself. I know I don't deserve that, but if we are done, I need her to know that I didn't cheat on her. I'd never do that to her. _I'd never do it to anyone._ Rushing down the corridor, I hit the elevator call button but it isn't coming fast enough. Eliza has only just left and I know that if I can get down to the god damn lobby in the next minute, I'll catch her. I have to. I have to see her before she leaves and guesses all kinds of scenarios. _She just has to hear me out._

The doors opening, I step inside and repeatedly hit the button for the lobby. Breathing a sigh of relief when the doors close, I wipe the tears from my jawline and shrug my hoodie over my body. _Please be here. Please be here._ She wouldn't come back when I text her no longer than a minute or so ago, but I know this is the reaction I deserve. If the tables were turned, I'd feel the same way. I'd have been out of that hotel room faster than the speed of light. I'd have probably said some not nice things to her, too. _I'd have heard her out, though._

Reaching the lobby, I rush through the huge open space and glance over at the bar. _Nothing._ She isn't there. It's where I'd be if I was in her shoes right now. I'd never be in her shoes, though, because she wouldn't have her fucking ex in her hotel room. God, I'm so stupid sometimes. I didn't expect her to show up in Buffalo, but that doesn't mean this is right. That doesn't mean I planned to lie about it. I'd have told her exactly what was happening the next time I spoke to her. I have nothing to hide. She isn't going to see it that way, though. She isn't even going to speak to me. I can feel exactly how this is going to go right now. I can feel my heart slowly tearing in two.

Heading out onto the sidewalk, I glance around and find the street pretty empty. My eyes skimming the people outside, they settle on a bench to my right and I head towards the body that is sitting on it...sobbing. _What the hell have I done?_ Realising that she is further away than I thought, I pick up my pace and suddenly the bright lights from the front of the hotel disappear. _She's sitting in the darkness._ God, I wish I was sitting in darkness right now, too. I feel like it's the only place for me. The only place I deserve to be. "Eliza…" I call her name but she doesn't respond. Her eyes are focused on a tree across the street and I'm not sure she can even hear me. "Eliza?" Placing my hand on her shoulder, she shrugs it off of her and my heart breaks.

"Take your hands off me." Her voice completely void of anything, I hang my head between my shoulders and close my eyes. I can't cry right now. Crying won't solve anything and I'll just look pathetic. "Is that what you meant when you said you had a little sexual tension going on?"

"What?"

"Was that your way of telling me that you love me but I'm not here so you'll fuck someone else instead?"

"No! No way." I shake my head. "Eliza, nothing happened."

"It all makes sense now…" A slight laugh falls from her mouth. "You not being able to make it home at the planned time on Sunday. You wanted to stay here with her, didn't you? You didn't want to come home to me when you'd been fucking her for a week."

"That isn't true." I deny her claim. I'm hurt by the things she is saying to me right now, but she walked into something that could have looked like something else. I know how the mind plays tricks, but I thought she trusted me. Hell, she dances for people and I trust her…so why am I suddenly a cheat? I thought we understood each other. Clearly, I was wrong.

"I mean, she fucked you for three years…so why stop now? Why fall in love with me _completely_ when you can have the best of both?"

"Eliza, stop." I stand in front of her and she glances up at me. Right now, her eyes hold nothing but complete disgust for me. "Nothing happened."

"She was in your room in a towel." She scoffs. "Don't treat me like I'm stupid."

"I'm not." I drop down to my knees. "But nothing happened."

"The wine glasses?" She raises an eyebrow.

"She was coming by to figure out some of the book deal stuff. It was arranged earlier. She wanted to know where I was taking things."

"And I'll bet she knew _exactly_ where you were taking things by the time you had finished, huh?" I know she is mad right now, but she isn't willing to listen to what I have to say. This is pointless, but I still have to try. I have to try to make her listen. "To think I loved you more than _anything_ in this world." She drops her gaze.

"L-Loved?" I swallow hard.

"I can't love you like this." She shakes her head. "I can't share you, Arizona."

"I don't want you to share me, Eliza." Curling my fingers under her chin, she lifts her gaze a little. "Please, look at me?"

"I should go." She finds my eyes. "I've ruined your night enough. Hell, I've ruined my own."

"Nothing happened, Eliza." I give her a knowing look but her eyes tell me that she doesn't believe me. _Of course, she doesn't believe me. Why would she?_ "Please, come inside?"

"No." She wipes the tears from her face and stands. "I have to go back to New York."

"But I don't want you to go." I furrow my brow. "I need you to stay here with me and listen to what I have to say. You have to hear me out." Watching as she hails a cab, I grip her wrist and she turns back to face me. "Eliza, please don't do this. You haven't even given me the chance to explain."

"I don't want to be here right now…" She shakes her head. "I can't talk to you right now."

"Please? The longer you leave this, the worse it will end up being. We both know that."

"It can't _be_ any worse, Arizona." Taking my hand in her own, she squeezes it tight and gives me a sad smile. "I need some time." Releasing me from her grip, I glance down and find her engagement ring in the palm of my hand. _How did it come to this?_ Everything is ending around me. I know it is. I can feel it. Climbing into the back of a cab, she closes the door and doesn't even look up at me. _She hates me._ I disgust her. I just…I didn't do anything wrong. I haven't slept with Cheryl. _I'd never go there again._

* * *

I got a flight. It's almost 3 am, but I got a flight back to New York. I couldn't let this lie any longer. If I do, it won't be repairable. Eliza will make up her own mind and we will be over. I mean, we already are over, but I don't want that. I don't want her to sit alone with her thoughts without me explaining what was actually happening. I still know that it's wrong, but I'm not wrong enough to end this relationship. Maybe I was stupid to have Cheryl in my hotel room, but that is where it ends. It really is.

Pulling up outside our home, there is a light on so I know she is home. She is safe. I don't know what I will find, or what to expect when I head inside, but I don't imagine it will be pleasant. I don't imagine this will go well at all. I mean, a few hours ago, she handed over her engagement ring. She must feel strongly about her suspicions if she did that. I went back to my room and cried knowing that she felt that way, but I had to come home. I had to try and fix this. Not via a phone conversation or through text…to her face. I need her to see that I'm still the same person who left here less than a week ago. I need her to see that I love her just as much as I did on Sunday when I couldn't pull myself away from her and almost missed my flight. I need her to understand that she is the only woman for me, and she always will be.

I don't really know how to feel about the accusation of me cheating right now, but I'm trying not to focus on it too much. I'm trying not to take it to heart so much. She is hurting and she has every right to, so no…I can't make this about me. I can't play the victim. I may have seen nothing wrong with Chery being in my hotel room, but she does and I totally understand why. I can see why she thought the worse. It's time for her to listen to me now, though. It's time for her to realize that nothing happened. Just like I told her back in Buffalo. Climbing from my car, I lock it up and figure I'll collect my bags tomorrow. Heading straight up the steps that lead to our home, I slip my key in the lock and push the door open. "Eliza!"

 _Nothing._

"Eliza, are you home?" Hearing movement upstairs, I make my way straight to the staircase and climb them two at a time. I have an idea of what is happening right now, but I refuse to let my mind wander until I see it with my own eyes. Pushing our bedroom door open, I find my fiancé on her hands and knees in our closet. "Eliza…"

"I'll be out of your way soon." She states, her tone still void of anything. "You shouldn't have come back."

"Why?" I lean against the frame of the door and fold my arms over my chest. "You think I'm just going to let you come back here so you can pack up your things and leave me?"

"That's whats happening, so yeah…" Her back still to me, I move into the room and close the bedroom door behind me. It's one more barrier to her leaving my life for good right now. "You don't need to be here with me. I can do this alone."

"You aren't doing anything." I shake my head. "You aren't packing and you aren't leaving."

"Um…I am." She counters, sarcasm in her voice. _At least that's something._

"Can you just stop for five minutes and listen to me?" I want to beg but whats the use? She has blown this totally out of proportion. "Please?"

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say to me."

"Okay, so think about this…" I take a seat on the edge of the bed. "You're in my position right now. How would you feel if I did this to you, huh? How would you feel if I didn't allow you to explain?"

"I wouldn't be in your position." She stands and faces me. "Because I'm not fucking stupid enough to have my ex-girlfriend in my hotel room."

"I know you're hurt." I sigh. "And I get why…but you have to believe that nothing happened in that room, Eliza. Nothing whatsoever. Not even a kiss. Not even a glance at her."

"I find that hard to believe." She gives me a look I don't quite recognize. "She was showering in your hotel room."

"Because hers was messed up." I breathe out, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Her shower wasn't working…" _I know she doesn't believe me._ "The hotel was full so they couldn't move her to another room. She asked and I said okay. I didn't think it would be a big deal. It was just a shower."

"Sure, and the bottle of wine just mysteriously made its way into your room?"

"I've already explained about the wine…" Stepping closer to her, she wraps her arms around herself and backs up a little. "Do you really think I'd cheat on you, Eliza?"

"I don't know." Okay, so I know she is mad but that hurts. Knowing that she doesn't trust me really hurts. "Maybe…"

"Wow, okay." I back up. "So, where do we go from here?" I ask. "Do you really want to leave? End this? Us?"

"I need some time." She shrugs. "I need to just leave for a little while."

"No." I clear my throat. "That isn't going to work for me." If she isn't willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, then I'm not willing to wait around whilst she decides if she trusts me or not. I may have been foolish, but I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be hurt back because of something that never even happened. "If you go, we are done."

"Seems pretty easy for you to say." She raises her eyebrow. "Is that how this was all supposed to work out for you? I catch you…you make me feel bad…I leave…that's the end? Then you can run off to your ex-girlfriend?"

"You know what, I'm not doing this with you." I hold up my hands. "I've told you nothing happened. I came back for you. You just…you don't believe a word I'm saying so whats the point? What is the use in me begging you when you couldn't care any less about what I have to say? You've made up your mind about me, I realize that now."

"Were you ever going to tell me?" She asks, her voice a little calmer.

"Of course, I was. It wasn't a secret. I have nothing to hide."

"When?" She clears her throat. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Whenever I spoke to you again." I wouldn't have ever kept it from her. I had no reason to. It's not like it was some secret affair. "I know you are hurt, Eliza…but so am I."

"Why are you hurt?" She furrows her brow.

"Because you have just told me that you don't trust me." I shake my head. "You know, I think I'm just going to turn in." Placing her engagement ring on the dresser, I step back and out of the room. "That ring means the world to me…and so do you, but I don't know how to feel about you not trusting me. I thought you knew me better than that. You just…you aren't giving me anything at all right now and I don't want to fight with you."

"Arizona…"

"No." I hold up my hand. "I'm done with this conversation for tonight."

"So, that's it?" She scoffs. I'm beginning to wonder if she realizes how quick she was to judge the situation. "You're just going to walk away?"

"I'd never walk away from you. I love you too much." Giving her a sad smile she studies my face. "But I won't make you stay. Your actions right now speak volumes. You're about to pack up and leave me, so it's you who is walking away, Eliza. Not me."

"I just…"

"You just assumed and you wouldn't even let me explain." I shrug as I shove my hands in my pockets. "If I hadn't come home when I did, you would have left. You seem to be super quick to make up your mind so maybe you need to think about this. Not me. Maybe you are the one who wants out of this." Walking away, I head off down the hall and into the guest bedroom. I don't care where I sleep tonight. I just need to close my eyes and wake tomorrow a little calmer. I wasn't lying when I told her that I was hurt. At first, I was too concerned about her leaving me, but that is exactly what she was about to do. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't deserve any of this. She didn't even hang around to hear me out. When I followed her, she left on a plane. When I got home, she was getting ready to go. No, I don't deserve this…I just hope she realizes that before she walks away. Because if she does, I'm done.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	61. Chapter 61

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-One

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been sitting out by the waters edge for the past hour and my head hurts. It doesn't hurt as much as my heart, though. My heart feels like it is actually breaking right now and I don't know how to shake this awful feeling I have. I don't know where to even begin with fixing all of this. I haven't slept at all. By the time I climbed into bed, it was almost 4 am. Once I lay down, my mind was working overtime. I just can't get her words out of my head. I can't understand why she wouldn't even hear me out. I mean, did she want me to fly back to New York and chase her? Because if she did, it worked. If she wanted me to apologize for something I didn't do, though…she will be waiting a long time. I'm not going to admit to a lie. I'm not going to tell her what she believes she wants to hear because it will make her feel better about her accusation of me cheating. I can't tell her anymore that nothing happened. I've told her many times and she still came back with some smart ass comment. I think she realizes that, though. I think she knows that I'm not in the wrong and now she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to apologize for the awful things she said to me. _Because they were awful._ She may not have seen it at the time because she was mad about Cheryl being in my room, but she knows she went too far. Not only did she accuse me of cheating, but she accused me of doing it over the week I'd been gone.

What do I even do with any of this? How am I supposed to go back to normal with her after all of this? Sure, we can pretend, but pretending doesn't do either of us any favors. She will never truly trust me and I'll be forever thinking that she is wondering who I'm with. I mean, how am I supposed to go on my book tour after this? She will never stick around whilst I'm away. I know she won't. She felt so strongly about it all last night that she simply cannot apologize today and forget about it. Her words came from somewhere. The anger in them. The disgust. It all came from what she believes so no, this isn't just going to disappear with a simple 'I'm sorry'. It doesn't work that way. We both know that.

Standing from my spot on the floor, I take my empty coffee cup in my hands and head back towards my home. _Our_ home. I don't even know anymore. Quietly sliding the patio door open, I'm startled when I find Eliza sitting at the kitchen island watching me. Giving her a slight glance, I drop my gaze and refill my coffee cup. I don't even know what to say to her right now. She's sucked all of my energy from me. Knowing that I'm going to need so much more of this stuff today, I prepare a fresh pot of coffee and head back towards the door I've just come through.

"Arizona…" Her voice causing me to stop, there is no longer has that emptiness in it. It's now turned to sadness. Worry, even. Glancing back, I wait for her to give me something more than simply my name. "I, uh...did you want some breakfast?"

"Not hungry." Taking myself and my coffee back outside, I close the door and head back to my spot I've been sitting in since I climbed from our guest bed a little while ago. I just couldn't lie there any longer. It just made me think more. At least out here, I think more clearly if nothing else. Something about the fresh air in my lungs makes things seem a little less awful than they really are.

"Arizona, can we talk?" Her voice soft, she comes up behind me and I glance over my shoulder.

"Now you want to talk?"

"I'm sorry." Standing, I turn and face her. "I overreacted."

"I know you did." I nod. "I'm just not sure sorry is going to cut it." Brushing past her, I head for our home and she follows behind me. "I'm not doing this out here. The lake is my happy place and I'm not fighting with you out there."

"I don't want to fight." She shifts uncomfortably from left to right. "I just…I messed up."

"Those things you said to me hurt, Eliza." My voice breaking, I take my lip between my teeth and try to hold back the intense sense of sadness I'm feeling right now. "I thought we were better than that. I thought you trusted me."

"I do."

"No, you don't." I give her a sad smile as I move further into the living room. Lighting the fire, it takes my mind off of our worries for a few minutes. _Just, not long enough._ "Please don't lie to me. I need the truth from you."

"I didn't like seeing her there…" She breathes out. "Then to walk into your hotel room and find her almost naked?"

"I understand that you didn't like what you saw, but you just left. Not even just the room, but the city."

"I didn't know what to do." She shakes her head, her own voice breaking. "All the way there I'd been so happy at the thought of seeing you but she was there."

"She was always going to be there, Eliza. Sure, the shower thing was unexpected, but you have to remember that she is my boss. I work _for_ her. She is the reason I'm so successful. When she wants to discuss business, then we do. I've been alone with her many times before. In her office. At home. Wherever. You've never been bothered before."

"I just didn't like how it looked." She shrugs.

"And because of that, you no longer trust me." I give her a nod. "I'd say I get it, but I don't. I know it was probably a little inappropriate for her to be in my room showering, but I was being a friend. A good person. Whatever you want to call it. Her shower was out, and she asked."

"I didn't like it." She grits her teeth.

"I know, you've said." I move into the kitchen. "Just like I repeatedly told you last night that nothing happened."

"I was struggling, Arizona. You have to understand that."

"I do understand it." I agree. "What I don't understand is how you can tell me you don't know if you can trust me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you realize how I'm feeling right now?"

"I didn't mean it. I was just mad at you."

"Not good enough." I sigh. "I'm getting dressed and taking myself out of this for a little while." Setting my coffee cup down, I move towards the staircase. "You remember you were about to leave last night, right?"

"Y-Yeah." She drops her gaze.

"So, you can understand why I don't believe you right now? You can see why I'm struggling to believe that you trust me?"

"I guess so." She nods.

"That time you needed? The time you said you needed last night when you handed over your engagement ring? Take it. Take all the time you need…" Heading up the stairs, I need to be alone right now. I can't marry her if she doesn't completely trust me. I can't promise myself to her if she once believed that I'd cheated. That would just be all kinds of wrong.

* * *

I've been home for a little over an hour and Eliza is nowhere to be seen. I don't know if she's left, but I'm outside on the decking with a bottle of Jack. I just need that blowout. Sure, I'll feel terrible tomorrow, but in this moment, it's what I need. I need more…but this will do right now. I've spent the entire day driving around and I'm still none the wiser as to whether Eliza and I will ever be okay. Right now, I don't feel like we will ever be okay, but maybe I'm just feeling a little hurt still. Not a little…a lot. I told Eliza to take whatever time she needs, and it looks as though she is doing exactly that. Sure, none of her stuff is gone, but she isn't here. _I haven't even bothered to look for her._ She could be upstairs for all I know but I'm not overly interested right now. She's made her feelings perfectly clear, and I have to accept that. What we do with any of it, I don't know…but I still have to accept that she thought I was cheating. _Wow, that hurts._

Pouring myself a fresh glass of Jack, I set the bottle down and take the glass in my hands. The firepit is roaring in front of me and the blanket wrapped around my shoulders makes me feel safer than I did earlier. Its just a comfort right now since we aren't in a good place. I'm not sure I've ever felt so detached in this relationship, and I don't like it. I mean, we are supposed to be engaged. We are supposed to be madly in love. We can't be that in love if Eliza is willing to freak out and call me a cheat the way she did. I don't care who was in my room, she didn't have any right to behave like that.

"Hey…" Jumping a little when her voice calls out behind me, I knock back my glass of Jack and refill it. "Do you have a minute?" She asks as she drops down into a seat beside me.

"Whatever." I shrug. "It's not like I have anywhere to be."

"I don't know what that means…" She furrows her brow.

"I canceled the lot." I laugh. "Called my publisher. Told them I couldn't commit to a series. They asked why, but don't worry, I didn't drop you in it."

"You have to call them back." She shakes her head. "You can't cancel, Arizona."

"Already did." Downing another Jack, I take the bottle from the table and Eliza grips it. "Don't, Eliza. If I want to drink, I'll drink."

"Fine." She sighs. "But you have to uncancel."

"I'm done." I give her a sad smile. "What's the point?"

"In what? In your work?"

"In everything…" I breathe out. "I can't go away again if we are ever going to work."

"You can. You have to." She states. "Your writing is your life."

"And you are my life, too." I give her a knowing look. "I had to decide which is more important and you won on that front. I'll do something else. I'll work anywhere."

"No, you can't." Her voice beaks. "I won't allow you to stop everything because of me."

"Eliza, it's too late." I sigh. "We have to decide if we can fix this and I cannot think about my writing whilst that is happening. I can't wonder what accusations will be thrown my way once I leave…so, I ended it all."

"No." She stands, tears falling from her eyes. "Just…no."

"Get a grip, Eliza." I scoff. "This is my life that has been ruined…not yours. It's not _all_ about you."

"I should just leave." She cries. "I told you I trust you but you just won't accept that, so I should leave."

"Now you know how it feels, huh?" I stand and step a little closer to her, my glass still in my hand. "You think that throwing around accusations is okay? Well, it's not. It's hurtful. It's damaging. I'm not even sure we can be fixed and all you care about is leaving. Twice in less than 24 hours, actually."

"I don't want to leave." She shakes her head. "But what's the alternative? Staying and praying that you won't come to hate me? Why would I put us both through that?"

"Because that's love, Eliza. That's _life._ "

"Then I'll stay." She nods. "I'll do better. I'll _be_ better. You will go on your book tour and I'll be here waiting for you when you finish up."

"I can't." I disagree. "I can't risk that again. She would be there the entire time and I couldn't take the questioning. I couldn't take the uncertainty from you."

"You said that nothing happened…"

"Nothing at all. I was being a friend, is all. Helping someone out. That's who I am…"

"Then I believe you." She steps a little closer to me. "I trust you, Arizona. Things just got messed up last night."

"Thanks for trying." I release a deep sigh. "Just…think about all of this before you tell me what you think I want to hear."

"I don't need to think about it, Arizona." Taking my hand in her own, it feels good. I feel like I'm a little closer to her than I was this morning. "I'm sorry, and I love you."

"I love you, too…but this is a mess." My voice breaking, she pulls me into a hug and I don't even try to get out of it. I need to feel something, anything with her. I need to feel like we can be fixed. "You dance for people, Eliza…"

"O...kay." She pulls back, her brow furrowed.

"You dance in a private room in lingerie and I accepted that. I accepted it and I moved past my insecurities I had where your career is concerned…"

"I know."

"I've never once accused you of anything, and I never would. I know you wouldn't do that to me." I drop my gaze. "You just…you've hurt me." Stepping back a little, I give her a small smile and head inside our home. "I know she is my ex, but she is my ex for a reason. We _aren't_ together for a reason. I see her as nothing more than my boss. I thought you knew that."

"I do know that." She follows me inside. "I should have stayed. I should have talked to you."

"But you didn't." I breathe out. "You got on a flight and came home so that you could leave me."

"Please don't end us, Arizona." Her voice trembling, I search her eyes but I can't figure her out right now. I can't figure any of this out. "Please…I need you." Tears falling from her eyes, I run my thumb across her cheek and her breath hitches.

"I don't think I could ever live without you." She leans into my touch. "But I also can't live _with_ you if that trust is damaged between us."

"Let me fix this." She cries. "Let me fix us…"

"I want that," I admit. "I want us to be good again."

"We can be." She laces her fingers with my own and steps closer. "I just…I need to kiss you." Her lips pressing against my own, fresh tears fall from her eyes and my body relaxes more than I thought possible. Her hand fisting in my shirt, she's holding onto me like I'm about to walk away. She's holding onto me and I never want her to let me go. She is the only one I need in my life. She is the only one I've ever felt totally head over heels in love with. I thought she knew that…

 _But I guess I thought wrong._

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	62. Chapter 62

**I think our wires may have gotten crossed somewhere. This fic IS NOT ending soon. At least, not in the near future. I've received a few reviews that suggest it is, but it's not. Enjoy.**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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Wow, I've messed up big time. So big that I'm scared of what is to come. Arizona is heartbroken because of me and I've never felt as devastated by my actions as I do right now. I mean, I'm still mad that Cheryl was there but that is irrelevant right now. What I said hurt my fiancé and I'm not sure she will ever forgive me. I'm not sure she even wants to be around me right now. Why didn't I stay and listen? Why didn't I stop for a second and hear her out? I'm an asshole, that's why. The biggest asshole ever to walk this earth. I didn't mean any of what I said, but the damage is done now. I was just angry. Mad at myself for not talking about Cheryl with Arizona. If I'd known she would be around so much during her trip, I'd have asked her to keep it all in public. I'd have simply asked her not to put herself in any kind of situation. Not because I don't trust her, but because I don't trust Cheryl. Sure, I've never really thought about the possibility of her ex trying anything on with my fiancé but in that moment, I saw red and I freaked. In that moment, all I could see was her ex almost naked in her hotel room. I didn't have time to see reason. I didn't have time to accept that nothing was going on. I freaked and now I've broken everything that we've ever built between us. I've broken Arizona.

Climbing from the guest bed, I spent the night alone again and honestly, I only have myself to blame. I cannot just expect Arizona to be okay with everything that has happened, but she is right. I was coming here to leave her. I did fly back to New York so I could pack my shit up and get out. I never wanted that, though. I was just so detached from my own body that I couldn't see a reasonable explanation for any of this. I couldn't understand why her ex was there. Yes, I do sometimes forget that she is her boss, but at the same time…it's still not appropriate. _I'll always maintain that._ I think she agrees, though. She understands that I didn't like Cheryl being there. Even if there was nothing malicious in it, I hated seeing what I saw. _If I'd just spoken to her, I'd be in her arms right now._

That's exactly where I should be. In her arms. Quietly making my way down the hall, our bedroom door is closed but I need to be in there with her. Even if she doesn't want to speak to me, I should still be with her. I mean, I love her like I've never loved anyone else, but we are sleeping in separate rooms. We are avoiding each other and we are fighting. I never want to be in this situation with Arizona. Never. I know I've created it, but now I have to fix it. Regardless of how stupid and pathetic I feel, I have to fix it. I'd be a fool not to. Slipping into our bedroom, her scent hits me and my heart sinks into my stomach. That scent means everything to me. When we are snuggling, it makes me feel safe and protected. When we are making love, it drives me insane. When she isn't here, it's the one thing that settles me if I hold her pillow close. _What the hell have I done?_

Making my way over to our bed, she has her back to me and I think she is still sleeping. If she isn't, she is ignoring me. I deserve that, though. Hearing light sniffling, I furrow my brow and move closer to the woman who totally captured my heart the day I met her. Slipping under the covers, I scoot closer to her and wrap my arm around her midsection. She doesn't turn around and she doesn't even tell me to back off. She is just sobbing instead. She's sobbing and she's breaking my heart. "Arizona…" I place a kiss below her ear, her face buried in her hands. "Please don't cry."

"Why are you here?" She asks, her voice barely audible. "Why are you in this bed with me?"

"Because I love you." Resting my chin on her shoulder, I close my eyes and give her a minute to settle down. "I love you and I want to be here."

"You didn't even come to bed last night."

"I just wanted to give you some space," I admit. "You're angry with me and I wanted to give you the space you needed."

"I hate this." She cries. "All of this. Us. What we've become."

"I'm sorry." Brushing her hair from her face, she looks awful. Her eyes are swollen and red and she doesn't look like she's slept for a month. "I'm so sorry." Pulling her back against me, she grips my hand and squeezes it tight. "Please, I need you, Arizona."

Turning in my arms, she buries her face in my chest and I simply hold her. I don't think she has many words right now, so holding her is the next best thing. I'll hold her all day if it makes things a little better for us. If it means there is even the slightest bit of hope...I'll do whatever I have to. "I love you…" My words relaxing her a little, I know she is hurting. I know I've caused this pain. She has to know that I love her. No matter what the outcome of this is, she has to know that I love her and I trust her. "Baby…" Placing a kiss on the top of her head, her cries subside and I feel like maybe I'm wanted here after all. "I love you so much, Arizona."

"Please trust me." She tightens her grip around my body and her nails almost break my skin. "I don't want anyone else, Eliza. I just want you, but I need you to trust me."

"I do," I whisper. "I trust you with my life, Arizona." Her sad eyes finding mine as she glances up at me, I press my lips to her own and she doesn't pull away. She doesn't stop me. "I'm sorry about everything that I said."

"I can't hear that stuff ever again…" She shakes her head. "I'm not that person, Eliza. I'd never do something like that to you."

"I know." I run my thumb across her cheek. "I let my anger get the better of me." Studying her face, she seems a little less mad at me. "Do you think maybe one day you can forgive me?"

"I have to." She drops her gaze. "We can't work if I don't forgive you."

"I didn't mean any of it, Arizona." I lace our fingers together. "I know I don't deserve for you to believe me, but I didn't."

"And I need you to believe that nothing happened in that room…"

"I do," I answer honestly.

"I know it was inappropriate for her to be there, but I've learned my lesson and that will never happen again. I just…I was trying to be helpful."

"That's because you're beautiful and kind." I smile. "That is one of the reasons I fell in love with you."

"But my kindness backfired." She shakes her head. "It won't happen again. None of it will happen again."

"You have to call your publishers."

"I don't. I have no reason to speak to them." Her eyes find mine. "I can't risk my relationship for my career."

"You wouldn't be." My lips inch a little closer to her own. "You have an incredible gift, and the world has to have it. I have the rest of you…"

"I don't want to talk about it right now." Her eyes flutter closed for a fraction of a second. "But…will you stay? Can we sleep?"

"Of course, we can." Settling a little better in my arms, I cover us up and her eyes are already closed. Her breathing is already evening out. _God, I made a huge huge mess._ One which I intend to clean up from this moment on.

* * *

Waking to a warmth wrapped around me, my eyes flutter open and I find Arizona tangled up with my own body. Her eyes are open, but she is thinking. She is thinking hard. I can't really blame her, though. I mean, this week has been crazy, but the past two days have been hard going for the both of us. Her more so than me after my ridiculous allegations. I want to believe that we are okay and that we can continue as we were, but that feels like a long shot right now. It feels like I'll never truly get back to that place with her and feeling that way hurts. It hurts more than anything I've ever been through in the past.

She was totally right in what she was saying last night. I go to a strip club twice a week and dance half naked for creepy guys. Hell, I was even attacked by one of them. She got it, though. She understood that I was doing what I loved and that I would never do anything to jeopardize us. Me, though? I just totally made up my own mind and threatened to leave her. End us. Not only does she support me in everything I do, but she trusts me. I may have wondered if that were true at the beginning of our relationship but any worries I had about her trust in me were put to bed before I could allow them to get the better of me. She's that kind of person, though. She is the kind of person who is honest and open, not secretive and cheating. _God, I'm such an asshole._

Arizona doesn't know I'm awake yet and I want to just take this opportunity to be with her. No fighting. No harsh words. No hate for me. I just want to lie with her like this because honestly, I'm not sure how the rest of this day is going to go. I'm not sure if it will even end with there being an us. She's asked me to trust her, and I do, but she may have woken up feeling differently. She may have woken to realize that she can do so much better than me. Who could blame her for feeling that way, though? One thing I know we need to discuss no matter how bad this day may get is her book deal. The deal _and_ the tour.

I can't allow her to cancel it. Her writing is her life…it's who she is. What kind of person would I be if I let her cancel her plans and her contract with her publisher to make me feel better about us? If I didn't talk her back into it, she would think I didn't trust her. She would think that I was keeping her here so my own mind didn't wander. That's not true, though. I want her to have every possible success in life, and in order to do that…she _has_ to make it all possible with her publishers again. I don't know what the routine is for that kind of thing but I'm sure they can come to some kind of agreement with each other. I'm sure they'd take her back in a heartbeat. _They have to…she's amazing._

"Call them…" The words falling from my mouth unexpectedly, my fiancé is a little startled by my voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Just…call them."

"Call who?" She glances up at me, her brow furrowed.

"The powers that be." I smile. "Your publisher."

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "That's done."

"No, it's not." I sit up a little and she falls from my body. "Arizona, I need you to do this."

"Why?" She sits up and rests back against the headboard with me. "Look at the mess we are in right now and I haven't even finished my book yet."

"I messed up, not you." I take her hand in my own and she drops her gaze. "I know you would never do anything to hurt me. I know how incredible you are and that you wouldn't ever look at another woman."

"I wouldn't." She agrees.

"It was just hard being away from you for so long. I know that it will be even longer once your book launches, but I can be the supportive fiancé. I can be whoever you need me to be."

"I don't want you to be anything, Eliza. I just want your trust."

"And you have that." I nod. "You totally have my trust."

"Bu-"

"But nothing." I cut her off. "I already hated that she was with you and I wasn't, and I know I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, but you have to believe that I'm sorry, I love you and I trust you so much…"

"She is just my boss, Eliza."

"I know." I sigh. "And its never been a problem. I've never even thought about her in any other capacity. Just…I missed you so much. Once I realized that I couldn't wait until Sunday to see you, I had to get a flight. I had to see you and hear your voice in the same room as me. Not through a cell phone."

"I missed you, too." She admits. "I'd even thought about coming home earlier and surprising you but I had so much to get through and I figured it was easier to miss you so then I could spend a few days with you when I got home. Just us. No interruptions."

"I'm sorry." My voice breaks. "My head just got messed up and I couldn't think of anything other than her in your room. I just…I'm sorry."

"I understand why you were hurt, Eliza." She squeezes my hand a little tighter. "Please don't think that I don't know I messed up. I get that and I can totally see why you were upset. Just…you wouldn't even hear me out."

"I know." I breathe out. "And I hate myself for that. I really do."

"Can we be okay?" She shifts a little closer to me. "Can we be us?"

"We can." I give her a small smile.

"I can't spend another night sleeping alone." She shakes her head. "I just need you."

"You've got me." I pull her into my body. "You've always got me, Arizona."

"You took off your ring." She cries.

"I shouldn't have done that." My own tears making an appearance, I wipe them from my jawline and close my eyes. "I shouldn't have done any of this, but that is the one thing I regret more than anything."

"Do you still want to marry me?" She asks, uncertainty in her voice. "Do you trust me enough to make me your wife?"

"I'd make you my wife right now given half the chance." That's the truth. I swear if I could, she would be my wife from this moment on. Hell, she would have been my wife from the second I proposed if I had my way. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Her body relaxing into my own, I thank whoever is watching over me right now. I don't know why she has forgiven me, but she has and I'm never messing up like that again. I'm never messing up again, period. It's too painful to watch the hurt in her eyes. It's too painful to hear the sadness in her voice. This woman is incredible on every level, and she's mine. We share a home together. A life. She is lying beside me right now and I have to remember that. I have to remember that she wouldn't ever hurt me.

 _She's too perfect. Too perfect for me…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	63. Chapter 63

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

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This weekend has really taken it out of me. Both mentally and physically. I mean, Eliza has apologized on more than one occasion, but I feel like we aren't in a good place right now. Sure, things are better than they were a few days ago, but something doesn't feel right. Something feels…off. Maybe it's just me and my thoughts that are getting in the way of things, but I just don't feel like myself. I don't feel that undeniable connection we had before the weekend ruined everything for us. I know I have to try harder, but I'm drained. I'm drained and I don't know how to get myself out of this rut I feel as though I'm in. I want to write, but what's the point? It won't come of anything. Eliza has asked me more than once over the past few days to call my publishers but I don't want to. I don't want to have to fight with her when I'm away on my tour. I don't want to have the uncertainty hanging over us. She says it won't, but I'm not stupid. I know that once a woman gets something in her head…it's hard to remove. It's hard to totally trust again. I know because I've felt the same at different times in my life. She can tell me until she is on her knees begging, but I know that once that accusation is thrown around…it lingers. It lingers and it never truly goes away.

I've been sitting in front of the fire for the past hour or so, and Eliza is out. She's taken herself off to the store because since I woke, I've been silent. I know this will all probably end being my fault, but I'm quite happy with my thoughts right now. I'm happy to beat myself up for being stupid enough to have Cheryl in my hotel room. I know nothing happened, but I was still stupid for being myself. For being kind. For being a friend. Honestly, I've never really seen Cheryl as my ex-girlfriend. Our relationship ended so mutually that I've never had to sit and hate her. I've never had to hold any sort of grudge. She's a busy woman and she didn't want the commitment. There is nothing else to it. So, when I offered her my shower…I didn't see my ex stripping off in the bathroom as an issue. I didn't see any of it as an issue. I feel _nothing_ for her. I haven't done since we broke it over some eighteen months ago.

She is my boss and that is all I see where our relationship is concerned. I'm not sure we have ever even held a conversation about our break up. It happened and that was it. I didn't spend my evenings thinking about it. I didn't have sleepless nights because of her. I guess in the back of my mind I always knew that we wouldn't last. Not because we didn't have a good relationship, but because I knew she was avoiding the idea of us living together. It just…it ended and I was okay. I was fine.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rest my chin on them and sigh. The flames are mesmerizing, but this isn't right. I shouldn't be sitting here worrying about my future. At least not the future of my career. I should be doing what I love _and_ loving who I love. Eliza. She is all I need. I have to stop avoiding her. We've said all that needs to be said and I should just let it go, right? I should let it go and try to get back to that place we were once at. _I have to try. I owe her that, at least._

I've never once thought that she didn't have the right to be mad, but I still don't think she reacted in the right way. I still think she could have behaved a little differently. It's important that we communicate, and when we are at our best, our communication flows freely. It has to flow freely when we are at our worst too, though. It's important to me, at least. _God, she's been trying._ She's been trying so hard to show me that she loves me. Trusts me. That she wants me. I've pushed her away, though. Hell, I even avoided intimacy with her last night because of how I'm feeling. I just…I have to stop this. I have to trust that she trusts me and get on with my life. Even if it falls apart along the way, I have to know that I tried.

Taking my cell from the coffee table, I pull up her contact information and hit a new message. I don't know what she is doing right now, but I'd like her to be here with me. I'd like us to get back to how we were.

 ** _Are you still at the store?_**

 ** _No, I'm at Central Park. E x_**

 ** _Why? A x_**

 ** _Just remembering the good times. E x_**

 ** _Come home…_**

My heart breaking at her last message, I know that I need her here with me. She thinks I'm not going to forgive her for her behavior, but I do. It's me who is struggling. I'm not struggling with her, though…I'm just struggling with my career prospects. I'm struggling with the possibility of never doing what I love anymore.

 ** _I was just giving you space. You don't like me right now, but I get that. E x_**

 ** _I do like you. I love you, Eliza. X_**

 ** _It doesn't feel that way right now…_**

 ** _I'm sorry. Please, come home? A x_**

Tears slipping down my face, I shake my head and drop my cell to the floor. I hate how I've been with her the past few days. I hate what we've become. This isn't us. None of this is what we are. What we stand for. What we believe. We are _the_ most in love couple in the world…and I'm avoiding her like the freaking plague. I have to fix this. I have to fix us. I know I'll come to regret it if I don't, and the idea of having regrets in my life doesn't sit well with me.

* * *

I haven't heard from my fiancé for almost an hour and honestly, I'm worried. I asked her to come home and she isn't here. I asked her to come back to me…but she hasn't. I know I only have myself to blame if she doesn't ever return, but I pray to God that she does. I pray to God that we can fix us. We can fix this. _I just need her here with me._ My emotions coming back tenfold, I wrap my arms around myself and sob. It's all I can do. I don't have anyone in my life who makes me feel this way, so all I can do is cry. Cry for the relationship I fear I've lost. Cry for the way I've behaved. Just…cry.

The sound of tires on gravel, my breath catches in my throat and I furrow my brow. I know it's my car, I'd recognize it anywhere. The question is, why is Eliza coming home to me? Why is she here right now? I was certain she wouldn't show. I was certain she was done with me. Pulling the door open, I watch her climb from my car and round the back. Popping the trunk, she grabs a few bags and heads towards me. "Y-You came home…"

"You asked me to." She gives me a look of confusion and stops dead in front to me.

"I thought you were done." Shaking my head, I step back and move out of her way. "I thought you wouldn't come home to me…"

"I'll always come home to you, Arizona." Setting the bags down on the counter, she turns back to face me and rests her hand on the side of my face. "I know I made a mistake in trying to run, but I love you. I'm never leaving you."

"I'm sorry." My words more of a whisper, she gives me a sad smile and steps a little closer. "I've been awful to you the last couple of days…"

"It's okay." She brushes her thumb across my cheek. "I just figured to needed a little space."

"No." I drop my gaze. "I just need you." I know I've been the most distant person in the world lately, but it's true. I just need her. "Please, just give me another chance."

"I don't need to." She leans in and places a soft kiss to my lips. "The first chance I ever gave you still stands…"

"I love you." I cry. "I love you and I'd never hurt you."

"I know." Pulling me into her arms, she holds me just like she always did. She holds me like I'm the only thing keeping her alive. The only thing providing oxygen to her gorgeous body and her beautiful mind. "I hurt you, though, and for that…I'm so sorry Arizona."

"No." I breathe out. "No more apologies." My arms squeezing her tight, I kick our front door shut and pull her back towards the staircase. "Just...you're all I want, Eliza." Taking the stairs and never losing contact, she gives me a nod followed by a genuine smile. "I hate this."

"Me too." She agrees. "But we're going to be okay. You have to believe that."

"I'm trying…" I sigh. "No more. I just need us. I need us to be okay and if you say you trust me, then I believe you."

"You should." We reach the hallway and she forces me back against the wall. "If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be here."

"I know." My voice breaking, I shake myself from my emotions and Eliza is on me faster than ever before. Her hands. Her breath. Her lips. _God, I've missed her._ "Eliza…" My words more of a moan as she unzips my hoodie and it falls from my shoulders, she steps back and a smile settles on her face.

"Wow, I've missed you." Pulling her own tee from her body, I watch on in delight as her bra falls to the floor and her body is pressing against mine once again. "I love you." Her words relaxing me a little, her thumb brushes across my nipple and all I can do is allow it. All I can do is enjoy the feeling of her hands on my body. "I need you, Arizona." Dipping her head, she nips and sucks my nipple into her mouth. "Mm, fuck." Tugging me further down the hall, my body is so aroused that I'm barely holding on. The more she touches me, the more soaked I am. "Turn around."

My body now pressed against the bedroom door, her center presses against my ass and she is the only thing keeping me upright. "Eliza, I need you to touch me."

"I know." She whispers against my neck as her hand slips past the waistband of my yoga pants. "It's all I've wanted for so long."

"So, do it." Gripping her wrist when she attempts to pull away from me, her lips trail my shoulder and her fingers connect with my sex. "F-Fuck." My hand now flat against the door, the slightest touch alone is making me crazy. _This is what I've needed._ I've needed to feel the connection. I've needed our lives to go back to what we know. "You feel so good." Gripping the door handle, I turn it and she pushes my body inside.

"On the bed, beautiful…" Smiling when my body is forced forward, I turn in her arms and press my lips to her own. "We need this, Arizona." She studies my face. "Each other…it's all we'll ever need." My body dropping down on the mattress, she slips my pants from my legs and bites down on her bottom lip when she finds me totally naked on our bed. Her own jeans and panties disappearing from her gorgeous body, she climbs on top of me and dips her head a little lower. "I trust you…"

Smirking, our lips barely touch, but my entire body ignites. Something about this woman just sets my entire being on fire, and it's a feeling I never want to lose. A connection I never want to fade. "Eliza…" I breathe out. "God…" Pulling her down on top of me, I capture her lips and slip my tongue into her mouth. Dominance coming into play, she comes to rest completely on top of me and holds my hands in place above my head. Teeth nipping and tongues dueling, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and my breath hitches at how desperately my body is responding. Slipping her leg between my own, her thigh connects with my center and it takes everything I have within me not to flip us and take her right now.

Our kiss may be heated and needy, but our bodies want pure love. Our bodies want that uncertainty. That uncertainty of not knowing when it will be touched. When it will be worshiped. Releasing my hands, our kiss separates as she trails her fingertips across my collarbone. Our lips meeting once again, her entire presence is taking over me. I can't think. I can't breathe. I can't speak. I want everything and nothing all at once. She is a drug. A powerful drug.

Never taking her eyes off of me, her fingertips run down my chest and between my breasts. Her hand placed against my heart, she pulls back from our kiss and gives me a genuine smile. "Your heart is beating so fast."

"You do that to me," I whisper. "Every single time."

"I can never get enough of you." Her lips attaching to my neck, her tongue works wonders downward and she reaches my shoulder. Nipping and gently sucking, I release a throaty moan and it encourages her to continue. Moving back to my neck, she finds that sweet spot that drives me crazy and a fresh flood of arousal spills from my core. The scent of her vanilla shampoo attacking my senses, I breathe in all that is Eliza Minnick. She's got me. My heart. My body. My life. She can take everything from me. "I want to touch you…" She whispers in my ear as her fingertips graze my hardened nipple. "God, I want to touch you so bad…"

Her legs still straddling my hips, I find myself arching up, desperate for some sort of friction. "Touch me, Eliza." Her lips capturing my own, she grinds down against me and our centers meet. It's like no other feeling in the world, and honestly, I've never felt so emotionally connected to another person before. "Beautiful." I breathe out.

"You've no idea." She smiles as she pulls back from our kiss. Her tongue running down my neck, she trails it down my chest and rolls it over my nipple. My breath catching in my throat, she palms the other and grazes her teeth against it. "I just want to love you, Arizona." Her words sending my head into a spin, I wrap my leg around her waist and force her center against my own. Her wetness catching me off guard a little, I bite down on my own bottom lip and throw my head deeper into the pillow beneath me. "I want you to always feel this way." Her head coming to rest in the crook of my neck, I spread my legs a little wider, and all I can feel is my girlfriend. Completely.

"Oh, god." My moan guttural, she thrusts her hips and my world begins to spin. Those stars people believe they see? I'm seeing them. Tenfold. Our arousal mixing, the sound of nothing but pure love fills our bedroom and I know that I can't hold on much longer.

Meeting her thrusts, my chest heaves as she breathes hard against the skin of my neck. I don't know the last time I've ever felt this way, and if I'm being totally honest, I never have, but she is doing unimaginable things to my body and I never want it to end. "Arizona, I'm so close." She whimpers. Legs tangled, she braces herself above me on her hands, and our eyes fix. "God, I need you." She writhes above me and her hips pick up the pace.

"I'm with you, Eliza." My breathing labored, that burning sensation hits the pit of my stomach and my orgasm begins to build deep from within. "Oh, God." I moan and pull her down against me. My nails digging into her back, her movements slow a little and she moans against my neck. "Y-Yes." I pant as my orgasm rips through my body. Her own following, she takes my earlobe between her teeth and releases the sexiest moan I've ever heard.

Nothing. Silence. No words are needed.

Her body still writhing against my own, she places her arm behind the back of my neck and pulls me into her. My fingers finding her hair, I gently scratch against her scalp and she groans from the sensation. "God, Arizona." Her body resting on my own, she tries to control her breathing. "T-That was intense."

"Mm…" I give her a slight nod and settle back.

"And beautiful." She smiles against my skin. That _was_ intense. The connection, the sensation, everything. Her stomach muscles still tensing against my own, I know her body is still coming down from its high. Silence filling the room once more, I close my eyes and take in her energy. Her positivity. Its all I need right now to know that we are more than okay.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	64. Chapter 64

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Four

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Today is the day. The day when I call my publisher and hope to god that they will take me back. Honestly, I don't know what to expect from the call, but I'm trying to be hopeful. I'm trying to feel good about the outcome. Maybe it will come to nothing, but Eliza and I have talked it out and she desperately wants me to call them. She wants me back doing what I do best…writing. She will always come before anything else in my life, but I need this. I need to feel like I'm doing what I love, regardless of what issues it could cause between us. I need to feel like Eliza trusts me, and I finally feel like she does. I finally feel like we are getting back to our good place and that is what counts the most. If I have her support, then I can be successful again. Taking the stairs slowly, I find my fiancé sitting at the kitchen island, coffee in her hand. She gives me a smile as she watches me approach and it settles me a little. "Hey."

"You made the call yet?" She asks as she pushes a coffee towards me.

"No, not yet." I release a deep breath. "Just…waiting."

"For what?" She raises her eyebrow. "For someone else to do it for you?"

"No." I smile. "What if they shoot me down?"

"They won't." She disagrees. "They need you more than you need them, Arizona."

"That's sweet but it's also not true." Pulling myself up onto a stool, I rest my elbows on the counter and study Eliza's face. "I'm not the only writer out there…"

"No, you're not…but you _are_ the best." She gives me a look of certainty and I appreciate that she is trying. "They _do_ need you, and we both know that."

"I just hope they need me enough to take me back, Eliza." Running my fingers through my hair, she gives me a sad smile as I sip my coffee.

"You know, this is all my fault so maybe I should be the one to call them?"

"No, you don't need to do that." I place my hand on her own. "Thank you, but it really isn't necessary."

"Why are you so sure that they don't want you back?" She asks as she turns in her seat a little.

"It's not that I'm sure they don't, but they didn't even try to get me back. They didn't try to convince me to continue or call me and try to reason with me."

"Mm, fair enough." She gives me a nod in agreement. "Just…you have to try, okay?"

"Maybe I should go there?" I suggest. "It's harder to tell people no to their face, right?"

"Could be worth a try." Eliza agrees. "You know what you've got to do and you know I support you." She squeezes my hand tight and I give her a thankful smile. "I need you back where you belong, Arizona. I really do."

"Me too." I breathe out. "Whatever happens…happens."

"Want me to come with you?" She raises her eyebrow. "I don't mind."

"N-No." I shake my head. "I need to do this alone." Gripping my coffee, I climb down from my seat and head towards my purse. Shoving my cell inside and taking my keys, I head back to my fiancé and she gives me an adorable smile. "I'll call you, okay?"

"I'll be waiting." Leaning in, I press a kiss below her ear and she hums in appreciation. "You've got this, Arizona."

"I don't feel like I have."

"Well, you have." She shrugs. "You know how amazing your writing is and you know they would be a fool to dismiss you when you walk in there."

"You're right." I nod. "I've totally got this." Curling her fingers beneath the waistband of my pants, she pulls me in between her legs and refuses to let me go.

"I love you so much, Arizona Robbins." Brushing her thumb across my bottom lip, my eyes close and a smile forms on my face. "Anything I've said or done in the past is irrelevant. You need this. You can do this. We are okay."

"Promise?" I don't need her to promise me, but I feel like I need to hear it right now. I know we are okay and this past week has been nice getting back to us, but just one final time…I need to hear it.

"I promise." Fisting her hand in my jacket, she pulls me in close and takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "Now, go and get your deal back so you can come home to me."

"I love you…"

* * *

Sitting outside Cheryl's office, my foot is tapping against the floor and I know that I want this. I didn't get to where I am by just sitting back and allowing life to happen so I'm not about to do that now. Whatever issues we have at home, they shouldn't affect my work. My job. Eliza and her choice of work have never really gotten in the way, so no…my writing is what I should be doing. It's where I'm supposed to be. In my own head. Sitting in coffee shops and getting lost in my own thoughts is exactly what I should have been doing for the past few weeks. _I could have been halfway through my book by now._

"Arizona." A familiar voice pulling me from my thoughts, I glance up to find Cheryl staring at me, her brow furrowed. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." I smile. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." She nods as she steps aside and I climb to my feet. "Come on in." Closing the door behind me, I move closer to her desk and drop down into my seat. "You and Eliza doing okay?"

"Yeah." I smile. "Just a misunderstanding."

"Mm, it was." She agrees as she takes a seat and drops her glasses over her eyes. "I can't believe how she reacted."

"She had every right to react how she did, Cheryl. We both know that." Giving her a knowing look, she shrugs and sits back in her seat. "Just…is the deal still on the table?"

"Nope." She replies, pretty adamantly. "You said you didn't want it. I didn't hear from you again so I pulled it."

"Right." I drop my gaze and run my hands down my thighs. "My own fault, I guess."

"Did she ask you to pull out of the deal?" Cheryl's tone is calm and doesn't appear to be accusing, but I'm not sure what she means by that. I'm not sure why she has just asked me that. "I mean, she seems like a nice girl, but you shouldn't allow her to dictate your life. I mean, she's hardly one to accuse you of cheating when she does what she does."

"This isn't about her." I shift in my seat. "I'm not here to discuss my relationship. I'm here to discuss the possibility of getting back my deal."

"I'm not sure it's a good idea, Arizona."

"Why?" I furrow my brow. "It was a good idea when you had me sign it…"

"But things have changed for you." She gives me a sad smile. "I can't be sure that you are totally committed like you used to be."

"That's bullshit." I laugh. "Eliza and I were together when I put my last book out. You know I can do this, Cheryl. I've never let you down before."

"You let me down when you pulled out of the deal two weeks ago, Arizona. I can't risk that again. I can't risk the time and effort I put into marketing you and advertisement."

"So that's it?" I scoff. "Even though I'm ready to go from this moment, that's it?"

"I guess it is." She nods. "You've been great for the company, but your life has changed and I can't risk the fall out if I'm ever caught in your hotel room again."

"Oh, that won't _ever_ happen again." I scoff. "You aren't worth the fallout. Trust me."

"I know you're angry, and I know you thought you could just walk back in here, but you can't. It doesn't work that way." _Fuck, she's seriously giving me nothing._

"Well, I guess that's it then." Pulling my purse up onto my shoulder, I stand and head for the door. "I'm sorry that you feel you can't trust me and my work, but I know I can do it. _I_ know I can do it better than ever before."

"Good luck, Arizona." Standing, Cheryl gives me a genuine smile and yeah, she's actually letting me go. I don't know where the hell this all went wrong, but it has and now I have to start over again. Cheryl runs the best publishing house in the US and I've just lost it. I've just lost everything I've worked for and everything I've built. "Take care."

Stepping out of her office, I don't even bother to close the door. Heading for the elevator, her receptionist gives me a small smile and the doors open. Thankful that there is nobody else around right now, I watch the heavy metal doors close and tears slowly slip down my face. _Fuck!_ I don't like the idea of going through all of this again. I don't like the idea of having to pitch myself and my ideas to some random company. I've been there and I've done that. _I'm too old for this shit._ Quickly brushing the dampness from my skin, I step out of the elevator and head for the exit. New York is as busy as ever, and right now…I cannot wait to see the back of this building. Cheryl has been everything I've needed since my career took a huge turning point, but now she isn't backing me. I don't know why, and I don't know her reasons for suddenly becoming so against my work, but it's done. She has her reasons and whatever they are, I'm out. _I didn't expect this to be the outcome._

My feet hitting the sidewalk, I stop and look up to the sky. Releasing a deep breath, I try to relieve some of the tension from my shoulders but its a waste of time. I'm beyond stressed and I just want to go home. Taking a right, I head past the main building of my old publishers and a familiar face is only seconds away from me. Furrowing my brow, Eliza gives me a full smile and I can feel my emotions coming back tenfold. "What are you doing here?" My voice breaks.

"Figured we could grab a coffee and celebrate, maybe?"

"Nothing to celebrate." I laugh, a tear falling down my face. "They let me go."

"No, no way." She shakes her head, guilt settling in those green eyes. "They can't just do that."

"They can, and they did." I give her a sad smile. "Come on, let's go home." Taking her hand in my own, she falls into step with me and I know she feels awful. This isn't her fault, though. If Cheryl no longer sees my potential, that is entirely on her. Not me and not Eliza. "Did you want to grab a coffee before we leave, or?"

"I'd love to but not if you don't feel up to it."

"I have to get on with my life, Eliza." I give her a knowing look and she drops her gaze. "I'll just start from the bottom and work my way back up."

"This is all my fault." Her voice breaks. "If I hadn't acted how I did. If I hadn't fucked all of this for us."

"Stop, Eliza." I tighten my grip on her hand. "This isn't on you."

"Except it is." She scoffs. "I thought we were good again and maybe we are, but this is just going to bite me in the ass, isn't it?"

"No, it's not." I stop us outside a coffee shop. "I love you and I know that you support me. Just…support me whilst I get myself back up and running?"

"I'll always support you, Arizona. Don't ever forget that." She pulls me in by the lapels of my blazer and her lips press against my own. "I'm so sorry this is all so messed up."

"It won't always be that way, though." I try to reassure her. "Everything will work out how it's supposed to."

"I just…I feel like this is all down to me." She breathes out. "Maybe there is something I can do? I mean, what did they say?"

"It doesn't matter." I shrug. "Come on, let's grab some coffee." It's not that I'm trying to keep things from Eliza, but she doesn't need to know Cheryl's reasons for letting me go. Not when it includes her as one of the reasons. Pushing through the door of the coffee shop, Eliza heads for a seat and I follow behind her. "Usual?"

"Sure, yeah." She gives me a half smile. Disappearing from the table, I head for the counter and place my order with the barista. Glancing back at my fiancé, I can see how worried she is just by watching how hard she is chewing on her lip. This may all be a mess, but we aren't. I also can't allow us to become a mess. It isn't necessary and it doesn't solve anything. Her eyes finding mine, I give her my best dimpled smile and she throws me a wink. I know she is trying to act okay right now, but I know she's not. Taking my drinks from the counter, I head back to our table and set them down.

"I wish you wouldn't worry…"

"Hard not to when I know I'm to blame." She shrugs. "Maybe I can talk to the powers that be. Who are they?"

"What do you mean who are they?" I furrow my brow. "Cheryl is my boss. It's her who tells me yes or no."

"So, she's the one who has just let you go?" She scoffs. "Why?"

"Just because." I sigh as I take my coffee cup between my hands. "It doesn't matter now, anyway."

"It's because of me, isn't it?" Her voice breaks and I take her hand in my own instantly. "She won't take you back because I'm around."

"That's not what she said."

"Then what did she say?" She grits her teeth. "What was her lame ass excuse for letting you go?"

"Just…that things are different in my life now." I sigh. "I guess she just means that my priorities have changed, and she wouldn't exactly be wrong."

"That's total crap and you know it is." She slams her cup down on the table a little harder than I expected. "She's doing this because of everything that has happened. She is doing this because _I'm_ in your life."

"Eliza, Cheryl and I haven't been together for a long long time. I very much doubt that this has anything to do with jealousy."

"Wanna bet?" She raises her eyebrow. "Because I know that it's exactly what this is."

"Baby, can we not do this here?" I whine. "I just want to go home and forget about it all."

"If you want to leave, yes…but I'm not letting this lie, Arizona." She shakes her head. "No way."

"We will discuss it at home." I sigh. "I'm done here." Standing, I grab my purse and try to shake the stress from my shoulders. This day hasn't been much but I'm tired. I'm tired of always fighting and I'm tired of always having to try harder than everyone else. I had a good thing going with Cheryl's company and now I have nothing.

 _I'm tired of everything…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	65. Chapter 65

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Five

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

No. This isn't happening. That fucking bitch Cheryl thinks I'm stupid but I'm far from it, actually. I mean, she knows how good Arizona's work is so why is she being a complete asshole about it? Why is she allowing my fiancé to be let go when she knows there isn't anyone better than her? I know why…because she's jealous. Arizona doesn't see it, but I do. I see right through that bitch and this isn't happening. She isn't ruining my fiancé's life because she can't have what she wants. Sure, I've never really thought about the possibility of Cheryl still being attracted to Arizona, but it makes sense now. Now that I'm in her life, I can see clearly. Maybe she figured that whilst Arizona was still single, she could take her back whenever she wanted to. Maybe she thought that she could have a single life and play around but Arizona would just fall back into her arms. I don't know…but I want an explanation. I want a reason for her ridiculous behavior where my fiancé is concerned.

I can see how broken she is right now. She's trying not to show it, but I know Arizona well enough to know that she is hurting and she is worried about her future. She doesn't need to worry, though. I've got her back. Sure, I may have created this mess in the first place, but I'm going to fix it. I don't know how…but I will. I have to. Her happiness means more to me than anything else in this world so I have to try and figure out how to fix this. Sitting at my computer screen, I glance over the other side of the room and find my fiancé napping. She just needs a break from the drama that's been happening over the past few weeks and then everything will fall into place. Logging out of a particular account, I close my screen and quietly stand. Approaching my fiancé, I drop down to my knees and brush her hair from her face. "Hey…" I whisper, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I'm just headed to the store."

"What for?"

"Just some things." I smile as her eyes flicker open. "Figured maybe we could snuggle tonight and watch a movie."

"That sounds nice." Her eyes are red and puffy and it breaks my heart. "Could you get me some chips?"

"I'll get you whatever you want." Her eyes closing again, the smallest smile settles on her face but I know she is hurting. I can feel the hurt radiating from her. "I'll see you in a little while. I love you."

"Mm, I love you too." Fixing the throw over her body better, she snuggles down into it and I stand, leaving her space as quietly as possible. Now it's time to see what Cheryl's problem truly is. Grabbing my keys from beside the door, I leave our lake house and head straight for the car. Cheryl may think that she can just do as she pleases with my fiancé, but she's about to find that she cant. Not whilst I'm around, anyway.

 _Hell will freeze over before she fucks Arizona and her life up._

* * *

Taking the elevator up to the required floor, I'm feeling more pumped than I've ever been right now. I'm generally not a violent person but Cheryl would do well to not test my patience this afternoon. I've just about had enough of this woman and honestly…if it wasn't for how upset Arizona is right now, I'd be happy she was no longer in our lives. I mean, who wants the successful ex around anyway? Not me, but this isn't about me. This is about Arizona's career. Everything she has worked hard for. Her reputation. Her name as a writer. The bell signaling my arrival, the doors open and I step out into a modern and very high end waiting area.

Glancing around, I find Cheryl's name on the door straight ahead of me and my focus is on that alone right now. Not the receptionist who is standing and approaching me, and not the other people waiting to be seen by this woman. "Excuse me, Ma'am. Can I help you?"

"Nope." I give her a sarcastic smile and head straight for her door.

"You cant go in there…" She tries to stop me. "Do you have an appointment?"

"Do I look like I have an appointment?" I roll my eyes. "Depending on how this goes…Cheryl may need a paramedic."

"Ma'am, I'm sure whatever the issue is…it can be figured out calmly." _She's right._ Giving her a smile, she drops her hand from in front of me and gives me some kind of flirty eyes. "Now, why don't you take a seat and I'll fix your problem?"

"Maybe you could just move out of my way…" Shaking my head, Cheryl's door opens and she gives me some kind of dirty smile. "Finally…" Stepping around her receptionist, the palm of my hand meets Cheryl's chest and I push her back inside her office. Kicking the door shut, the walls shake but I'm not overly concerned.

"Eliza! Take your fucking hands off of me right now."

"What's your fucking problem?" I spit as I push her down into her seat. "I mean, are you trying to ruin Arizona's career?"

"Oh, honey." She scoffs. "She did that all by herself."

"Really?" I deadpan. "You're pinning this all on her?" Raising an eyebrow, Cheryl simply nods and I rest on the edge of her desk. "Give her the contract back, Cheryl."

"There is no contract." She shrugs. "There is no deal."

"But you can make it happen. We both know that." I give her a knowing look and kick her chair. "DON'T fuck me around!"

"If I'm not mistaken, this is none of your business." She sits up in her seat and tries to look a little more dominant and in control of the situation. "I don't even know why you are here…"

"I'm here because you are really getting on my last fucking nerve." Folding my arms over my chest, she trails her eyes down my body and I swear she is going to get thrown across this room if she does that again. "The power really goes to your head, doesn't it?"

"What? Don't you like a successful woman?" She smirks. "Is that why you caused all of this? Couldn't bear to see your girlfriend doing well…"

"Fiancé!" I state. "And no, I love a strong independent woman." I smile. "But I'm beginning to wonder if you regret letting one go."

"I don't follow."

"Sure you don't." I roll my eyes. "We both know that you are still into her."

"Hard not to be." She takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "Does she still go all night long?"

"You make me sick." I spit. "You had your chance, Cheryl. You had the chance to live with her and love her, but you didn't want that. You didn't want the commitment."

"You've no idea what I want." She stands. "You don't even know me."

"And thank god for that." I smile. "Arizona said you weren't willing to risk the financial side of the deal. You know, in case she backed out again."

"Correct." She nods. "So, you being here and trying to be the macho fiancé is pointless."

"Except it's not." I take a cheque from my purse. "Take that."

"What?" She laughs.

"Take it. Put it in your drawer." I hand it over. "If Arizona walks again, it's all yours. If she doesn't, I get it back at the end of all of this."

"Mm, tempting." She smirks. "You are willing to put $1.5m on her?"

"I'd put my life on the line for her, asshole."

"Why would you allow her to come back here, though?" She narrows her eyes. "Knowing full well that I could take her from you and fuck her senseless on the book tour…I mean, you don't trust her do you?"

"Oh, I trust her." I nod as I grit my teeth. "And I _know_ that she wouldn't touch _you_."

"Can you put your money on that, too?" She steps closer to me and brings her hand up to my face. "Or do you want in on it? I'm open to experiencing your talents. There is a reason they come to see you dance, right?"

"Don't fucking push it!" Gripping her wrist, she doesn't even flinch. "You think you can ruin us…you're sadly mistaken."

"Are you sure about that?" She asks. "Can you be 100% sure that I didn't fuck her in that hotel room the night you arrived? In the shower…against the desk. Against the wall in that red lace lingerie…God, she was so hot and wet for me."

"You're bullshitting me." I laugh.

"Am I?" She steps painfully close, her body almost pressing against my own. "You should really think about this before you beg for her deal to be put back on the table."

"Why?"

"Because it's only going to end one way…" She breathes out. "Arizona…or the deal. You can't have both."

"Is that so?"

"Mm…me, though, I _can_ have both if I really want it." _Okay, this is going too far now._ "I know you will crumble. I know you will be forever wondering if she's fucking me whilst you are at home alone. To put your mind at ease, Eliza…she probably will be."

"I trust her," I say with complete certainty.

"But you don't trust me…" Her breath washes over the side of my face. "And if you know what is good for you, you will walk away from this office right now…and you will walk away from your _fiancé,_ too." _Yeah, that isn't happening._ "She will be on tour with me for months on end. You would never last."

"Why are you so bothered about having her?" I ask. "You haven't had her in a long time."

"Because I knew that she would always be truly mine." She pushes me towards the door. "And then _you_ got in the fucking way."

"Mm, and you hate that," I smirk. "You hate me!"

"Oh, you don't concern me." She shakes her head. "You are nothing but a fucking whore who believes she is something better." Shocked by her honesty and her opinion of me, I'm beginning to wish I hadn't come here. I'm beginning to wish that I had left well enough alone. "Touched a nerve, huh?"

"I may be a whore…" My hand wraps around her throat as I push her back into the wall. "But I'm _her_ whore. You?" I give her a look of disgust. "…You are fucking nothing to her. _Nothing._ " Releasing her from my grip, I step over the cheque that has somehow ended up on the floor and approach the door. "Make a decision and call her. I was never here. I never gave you that cheque. Just…do the right thing." Pulling the door open, I step out into the waiting area and all eyes are on me. I don't know what they heard but I just need to get out of this office building. I need fresh air. The elevator doors opening, I step inside and turn to find Cheryl watching me…her eyes simply burning through me as the heavy metal doors close.

 _Fuck…_

* * *

I've been home for a few hours now, and Arizona seems to have perked up a little bit. I like seeing her less sad, but I've only created more problems for myself. I've only allowed Cheryl into my head and now she is all I can think about. Her words. Her disgusting opinion of me. How she smirked as she told me she could take Arizona from me at any moment. I know it's complete lies, but my tiredness is beginning to kick in and now my mind is in overdrive. She cant know I was at her old publisher's today, though. We talked before she took a nap earlier and I agreed that I would leave it alone. I agreed that it wasn't my business to get involved in. Now I've let Arizona down, and I fear…myself, too. _God, I've messed this up._

Settled on the couch, my fiancé is in the kitchen preparing popcorn and I'm watching her as she moves around. I think a little sleep did her the world of good earlier, but I know this is going to come back on me. I can feel it. Cheryl will do anything to ruin us, so I know it's only a matter of time before she tells Arizona that I went to the office. She is a total bitch and I'm sitting here already preparing my apology. I'm sitting here already thinking up ways I can explain myself. Tugging at my fingers, I glance up to find Arizona standing in front of me, a bowl of popcorn in her hands. "Mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all." _I need to get what I can before she freaks out on me._ "Come here." Opening my arms to her, she settles in my lap, side on, and her scent relaxes me for the first time since I got back from the city. She was still sleeping when I returned so she doesn't know how long I was gone for. At least, she hasn't brought it up if she does. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah." She smiles. "It's not worth the worry." She shrugs. "I have you in my life and that is all that matters to me right now."

"That's sweet." I try to hide the fact that I feel awful right now.

"I mean, we've been through so much over the past few months. You know, the attack and moving here. Then the hotel room incident. I think it will be nice to just focus on our relationship right now."

"Y-Yeah?" I swallow hard. "You have a totally different attitude to earlier."

"My relationship is more important." She runs her thumb across my cheek. "You are more important."

"Arizona…"

"There will always be publishers looking for writers." She states. "I don't need the best deal in the world. So long as I'm writing, I don't care who it is with."

"Arizona…there is something I need to say to you." Her cell buzzing on the coffee table, she furrows her brow and my heart sinks into my chest. "Leave it!"

"No, it could be important." She shakes her head. "It's almost ten at night and nobody ever contacts me this late." Reaching out for it, she takes it in her hand and unlocks the screen. "Weird…"

"What is?"

"It's from Cheryl." _Oh god. This was all a huge mistake._ Glancing up at me when she finishes the message, she hands over her cell and my eyes focus on the writing.

 ** _Next time you send your pitbull to my office, ask her to bring less attitude. Having said that, the deal is back on. It's all yours. C x_**

"I'm sorry." My words barely above a whisper, Arizona drops the popcorn to the floor and straddles my legs. "Arizona…"

"You got the deal back for me?"

"Clearly." I sigh. "I promised I wouldn't so I'm sorry. Just…I love you, okay? Whatever happens, I love you and I need you in my life."

"You've got me." She smiles. "Thank you." _Wait, what?_ "Thank you for being amazing and perfect."

"But you asked me not to go there…" I furrow my brow.

"I know but I'm so glad that you did." She presses her lips to my own. "You stood up for me, and I find that all kinds of hot." Her hands trail up and under my tee. "And now I want to ditch the movie and take you straight to bed."

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to." She runs her tongue across my bottom lip. "All. Night. Long." Cheryl's words bringing back some awful images, I try to calm my mind and think about nothing other than Arizona. "Come on, beautiful. I have some thanking to do."

"Maybe you should text her back first?" I suggest. "You know, accept or decline?"

"Right, yeah." She nods as she takes her cell from the side of the couch and brings up their conversation.

 ** _Thank you. I'll be at the office in the morning. Az._**

 ** _I'm looking forward to getting back into this with you, Arizona. This could be amazing. C x_**

My body shuddering when I read the words on my fiancé's screen, she throws her cell behind her and stands, pulling me up to her feet as she does. I don't know what the hell our future is going to involve, but I have to keep this game up so Arizona and her career come out on top. Cheryl is my only problem, not the undeniable trust I have for my future wife. Her boss is simply trying to fuck with me, and that is all I have to remember. They're just words. Nothing more.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	66. Chapter 66

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My fiancé is amazing. Absolutely and completely amazing. I know she went against what I'd asked of her, but I'm glad she did. She got my book deal back and I don't even know how to ever thank her for it. I mean, I took her to bed last night and gave her a night to remember, but in terms of words, I don't know what to say. She's been kinda quiet about the whole thing and at one point last night, I wasn't sure if she was even in the same room as me, let alone beneath me…but she feels bad for going to the office. I've told her that it's okay and that it worked in my favor, but I guess she just needs a little time let it sink in. Maybe she was expecting me to freak out and she's just thankful that I didn't, I don't know. She's incredible, though, and that is all I have to say on the matter. Climbing from a cab, I glance up at the glass building I didn't think I'd step inside again and a small smile settles on my face. It feels so good to know that as of today, I'll be back in writing mode. Sure, it gives Eliza and I a little less time together, but in the end, it will all be worth it. For me, anyway. _She supports me and I love that about her._

After everything that's happened, she could have been totally against me working with Cheryl again, but her coming here and fighting for me tells me that it is all forgotten about now. She knows I'd never do anything to hurt her, and her actions yesterday have only strengthened that. They've only proved that she trusts me. For that, I'm forever thankful. Heading inside, I hit the elevator call button and the doors open. Breathing a sigh of relief when I find the carriage empty, it gives me a moment or two to calm myself and my mind. I don't know what today's meeting will involve, but I have to show Cheryl that she has my full attention where my book is concerned. She was worried about the financial risk of taking me back, but she has no reason to even think about it. I want this. Writing is my life.

The bell signaling my arrival, I step out and her usual receptionist greets me with a full smile. Aubrey has worked for Cheryl for as long as I can remember and she's a great girl. I thought maybe they had a thing at one point but it must have fizzled out before it got going. "Hey, should I just head straight inside?"

"Sure, she's waiting for you." Giving me a nod, I straighten myself out a little and head for the door where my dreams are waiting for me. When I have a goal in mind, I work freaking hard for it. When I know I can give my all, I give twice as much. Stepping inside, I find Cheryl behind her desk and tapping away on her cell phone.

"Hey." Catching her attention, she gives me her best smile and stands. "You ready to get to work?"

"With you…yes." She rounds her desk and motions for me to take a seat. "Eliza not with you?"

"No." I furrow my brow. "Should she be?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head, a slight laugh falling from her mouth. "Just wasn't sure what the plan was here, is all."

"The plan is for me to get back to work and give you my very best. Give my _readers_ my very best."

"Sounds like the perfect plan." She agrees. "So, did she give it up without a fight then?"

"Um…" _Okay, I'm lost._ "Who?"

"Eliza…" She rolls her eyes. "Come on, Arizona…keep up."

"Okay, I've no idea what you are talking about, Cheryl."

"You. Did she give _you_ up easily?" She takes a seat facing me and crosses her legs.

"Oh, yeah." I wave off her comment. "She wasn't bothered. She knows I love my job. My career."

"Wow…" My boss breathes out. "I didn't think it would be that simple."

"Yeah, well Eliza is a very understanding person." A smile settling on my face, it's so nice to have my fiancé completely on board. After all, this was all her doing. _God, I love her._

"Still…I thought she would never go for it." She shrugs. "I guess…once a whore, huh?"

"Excuse me?" I scoff, my brow furrowed. "Did you just call my fiancé a whore?"

"She seemed okay with my choice of words yesterday." Cheryl laughs. "I don't know why you are so offended."

"What?"

"If I remember right…she said she was _your_ whore." Nodding in agreement to herself, I can't believe what I'm hearing. "But anyway, she's gone and you're here with me so it worked out exactly like I'd hoped it would."

"Um, she hasn't _gone_ anywhere." I stand. "What the hell is going on here, Cheryl?" She stands and approaches me. "Huh?"

"Eliza was told yesterday that she couldn't have both." She gives me a sad smile. "It was either _you_ or the deal."

"Okay, you are out of your fucking mind." I hold up my hands.

"She chose the deal, clearly." Her fingertips grazing my jawline, my body shudders in disgust for this woman. "So, I get you…" _Oh, I don't think so._ Backing up, I'm running out of places to go and Cheryl knows this. I can see it in the dirty smirk she is wearing. "You were never supposed to be with someone like her, Arizona."

"I-I." Totally shocked by what I'm hearing, my eyes fill with tears when I realize that this was all a plan of hers. "I don't want you…"My voice trembling, my back hits the wall and I'm stuck. I'm trapped. "Cheryl, please don't do this."

"Do what?" She furrows her brow as she stands painfully close to me. "Take you back?"

"Take me back?" I laugh. "You _never_ wanted me. We both know that." I don't know what the hell is going on right now but I don't like any of this. Did Eliza choose the deal over me? Did she do this and accept Cheryl's idea of how it would go? I mean, are we even still together anymore?

"Arizona, I was _always_ supposed to have you." She sighs. "I mean, when we broke it off, you didn't date. I knew why and I knew you were waiting for me to take you back. Just…the timing wasn't good. I was getting my career off the ground and I couldn't commit to you."

"Yeah, I think we're done here." I shake my head and slide my body along the wall and away from her. "You're _actually_ crazy."

"No, I'm just being honest with you." She stops me from leaving by gripping my wrist. "I didn't think you would settle down and especially not with a hooker, but you did and I hate seeing you with her." My hand connecting with Cheryl's face, I give her a look of absolute horror and she's a little shocked as she stumbles back on her heels. "Wow, I didn't expect that from you."

"Don't _ever_ expect anything from me again." I spit. "I want this deal, but I don't want it bad enough to come back to you."

"Seriously?" She scoffs. "You are pulling out…again?"

"You've given me no choice." I hate that I'm about to lose this again, but I won't be _given away_ by my fiancé for this. She knows I want it, but I don't want it this bad. "You are only giving me this because you believe you can have me, too."

"That's not true." She shakes her head. "You've brought in more for my company than anyone else has."

"So why can't I just do my job and that's it?"

"You can if that's what you really want." She shrugs. "Figured I'd at least try to get you back, though."

"Cheryl…" I sigh. "We haven't been together for the best part of what…three years?"

"So?"

"So, I'm happy." I smile. "Happier than I've ever been. You just…you can't say things like this and expect everything to just be okay. How am I supposed to work for you now?"

"I don't know…" She steps away from me and heads to her desk. "I guess I just always thought the chance would be there again down the line."

"But it's not." I shrug. "And it never will be again. Eliza is my life. I'm going to marry her."

"I know." She rolls her eyes. "You really don't have to remind me."

"What did you say to her?" I ask before I head out of this door and try to figure things out. "What did you make her believe?"

"She knows the truth." She slips her glasses over her eyes and concentrates on the screen in front of her.

"And what exactly _is_ the truth?" I scoff.

"You and I together at the end of this." She smiles. "Maybe you should take a few days to figure out what you want. Or rather, _who_ you want."

"So, you're telling me I have to come back to you if I want this deal?" My voice breaking, I don't even know that I want a career in writing anymore. Cheryl has totally ruined my idea of a happy place in my head. How can I sit and write when it would have been through blackmail?

"No, I'm saying…think about this hard because once we are on the road and alone, you will want someone to comfort you when she isn't there. You know I'll be that person for you, but are you willing to risk your relationship for it? Are you willing to lose the _supposed_ love of your life…for me?"

"Why do you just assume that I'd fall into your arms?" I laugh. "I haven't touched you since the day you broke it off so why would I _need_ you now?"

"Because it gets hard." She clasps her hands under her chin and studies my body. "And if you try anything…I'm not sure I could keep my hands off of you."

"I have to leave." I shake my head and drop my gaze. "This is just wrong."

"Think about it, Arizona." What the hell does she want me to think about? I just want to write and do my job. That's all there is to it. "I'll give you a few days to decide." Glancing up at her, she is actually more than serious. _Is she out of her fucking mind?_ Gripping the door handle, I turn it and head out into the waiting area. I've never felt so out of my body as I do right now and honestly, I don't like it.

* * *

I should be at home. At home with my fiancé, but instead, I've been sitting in a bar in the city and trying to make sense of what the hell has just happened back at Cheryl's office. I feel bad for slapping her, but she was saying some pretty nasty things about Eliza and I won't allow her to do that. I won't allow her to try and get into my head. Just…none of this makes any sense. I don't understand why three years later, she wants me back. She says she always thought she could have me, but she hasn't once hinted at anything of the sort. Even before I met Eliza. This is all just too crazy to even comprehend right now and I don't know what to expect when I get home in the next ten minutes or so. Eliza has been texting me and trying to call me for the past hour, but I don't want to speak to her right now. I just need to clear my head and hold a normal conversation with her when I step inside the lake house.

 ** _Are you still with her? E x_**

Glancing down at my cell in my hand, I shake my head and try to stem the flow of tears I know are going to fall any moment now. Does that message insinuate that she doesn't trust me? Is she trying to ask if I'm spending my free time with Cheryl? God, this is so messed up and I don't even know how to fix it. I don't know where to begin sorting through the mess my mind has become since I stepped into my bosses office. _She's not my boss. She can't ever be._

It all makes sense now, though. Last night, Eliza didn't seem as interested as she usually does in the bedroom, but I put it down to her feeling bad about interfering. Clearly, she has things on her mind and this can never work unless she talks to me about it. We cant move forward if she doesn't tell me what Cheryl said. I suspect she has hurt her with her words but Eliza usually shows it when she is pissed. She hasn't given me anything to suggest that she is mad at me, though. I mean, everyone can't always be overly enthusiastic in the bedroom, and we are no different. I didn't think anything of it, but I'm really beginning to now.

Pulling up the gravel path, the car slows and I hand over some cash to the driver. Sure, I'm a little tipsy right now but I'm more than capable of figuring this out in my state. I'd like to say the drinks I've just shared with myself have made me a little less stressed, but I'd be lying. It hasn't fixed anything and I still don't know which way is up right now. Climbing out of the back, I glance up and find Eliza waiting for me on the top step of the decked area. She doesn't look happy or impressed but neither am I. _I guess that's one thing we got in common right now._ "Hey…" I clear my throat and she climbs to her feet.

"Where have you been?" She asks, her voice tired and her eyes heavy.

"Well, I haven't been getting reacquainted with Cheryl if that's what you're thinking." Giving her a knowing look, I brush past her and head inside our home. Our beautiful home where we are supposed to feel safe and happy. Right now I don't feel either of those things.

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" She closes the door and I turn back to face her, setting my purse down as I do. "Arizona?"

"First of all…you are not my _whore_. You are my fiancé and the woman I'm going to spend my life with." Stepping closer to her, I take her hand in my own and place it against my chest. "My heart belongs to you and it always will…and secondly, are you really willing to let me go so I can take this deal? I mean, I thought you loved me and knew me better than that."

"L-Let you go?" She furrows her brow.

"Cheryl is under the impression that you agreed to end things with me so I could write my series and keep this deal."

"She was serious?" Her eyes widen and a nervous laugh rumbles in her throat. "Like, she actually thinks I'd leave you so she could have you?"

"That was what it seemed like to me." I nod. "What did she say to you?"

"It doesn't matter what she said to me." She shakes her head, tears forming in those beautiful green eyes.

"It does, and I need to know, Eliza…it's important."

"Can we not do this?" Her voice breaking, she tries to pull away from me but I don't allow her the chance to end this conversation. I simply grip her hands tighter. "Arizona, please?"

"Baby, look at me…" Curling my hand under her chin, her eyes find mine and a single tear falls down her gorgeous face. "I need to know…"

"She just said some things that I'm not willing to think about." She shrugs as I guide her into the living room and pull her down on the couch beside me. "None of it matters now. You got the deal back and I'm happy for you."

"I don't want the deal if it means it's going to affect us." I know we have already discussed this, but it's much bigger now. I didn't know Cheryl felt the way that she supposedly does, so no…this is a whole new discussion now. "Eliza?"

"She asked me if I could be sure she didn't sleep with you in Buffalo." Her eyes closing as she tries to breathe through her emotions, my heart sinks into my stomach. "She said she could sleep with you time and time again whilst you guys were both away."

"You know that's lies…" I pinch the bridge of my nose. "You know nothing happened in that room."

"I know she was lying." She gives me a sad smile. "You don't own red lace lingerie."

"No, I don't." I laugh and shake my head. "But even if I did, you have to know that nothing happened. Nothing would ever happen between us, Eliza."

"I know." She agrees. "That's why I didn't tell you what she had said. It wasn't important. The only thing that matters is that you have a job and you can continue your career."

"I don't think I can," I admit. "It's going to be too hard to be away from you after the things she has said to us both."

"Why?"

"She thinks I went there today with the intention of getting back together." I sigh. "She is also under the impression that I will crumble on my book tour and fall into bed with her."

"But you wouldn't." Eliza furrows her brow. "You know you wouldn't so you just have to focus on your work. Your writing. Everything that matters to you."

"I'm scared that it's going to break us." My own voice trembling, she pulls my hands into her lap and wraps her own around them. "I'm scared that I'm going to lose you…"

"You won't." She shakes her head. "We are unbreakable, Arizona."

"I just…I think it could be a mistake." I sit back and my body melts into the couch. "She is very persistent and I don't like feeling as though I'm in any kind of potential situation with her."

"So, I'll come too?" She raises an eyebrow. "If you want me with you…you just have to say the word."

"You cant." I'd love her to be with me for the entire tour, but it isn't as simple as that. It isn't as simple as just dropping everything for me and doing what I want and need. Eliza and her career matter too. "You have your own job."

"So?" She shrugs. "If you want me to be there, I will. If my being there makes you feel better and stops all of this worry you have going on, then I'm coming too."

"Y-You would do that for me?" I brush a tear from my jawline as she pulls me into her arms.

"I'd do anything for you, Arizona."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	67. Chapter 67

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I'm back at the place where it all began for us. For our relationship. Yeah, I'm back at the coffee shop, my MacBook open and ready to be tackled. I have so much in my head that it's making me crazy and right now, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I feel like sitting here is where I'm always supposed to be. Sure, I could have worked from home today, but I miss the city in the daytime. I miss watching people and drinking insane amounts of coffee whilst I do what I love. Write. The only thing I'm missing now is my fiancé. She's at home and has no plans to join this morning. At least, none that I'm aware of. We have spent the past week figuring things out in terms of my job and my boss and I think we are okay. I think _she_ is okay. I can't blame her for worrying and being concerned about our future, but Eliza knows exactly who I want in my life. She knows exactly who I'm going to spend my life with. Cheryl isn't my concern right now. It's not that she ever has been but in this moment…she doesn't exist.

I haven't really given her much in the way of my decision to continue with my writing, but she is meeting me at the coffee shop in the next thirty minutes or so and I know she is worried. I know she is expecting me to end all of his with her the moment she sits down. She was right, though, last week when she said I'd been good for her company. I mean, I know I have but I also know that I can be good for someone else's company if it comes to it. I'm not hanging around because I believe it's the right thing to do anymore. The first sign that she is going to continue to pursue me, and I'm out of there. I'm out of her company. It really is as simple as that and I'll be sure to really make her listen when she arrives here.

I asked Eliza if she wanted to join me but she chose not to. I'm not sure Cheryl is very good for my fiancé's mental health but Eliza has insisted that I do this. She has insisted that I work my ass off and be the best I can possibly be regardless of who is my boss. She trusts me and I know that. I don't like the things Cheryl said to her, though. _She did give her just as good back._ Smiling when I'm reminded of the moment that Eliza had my boss pinned against the wall, I take my bottom lip between my teeth and close my eyes. _God, she's so good for me._ Something about Eliza effectively dominating in Cheryl's office has left me feeling a little hot all week. I know my girl can hold her own, but I've never seen that side of her. I never imagined she would go to bat for me like she did. She took no games from Cheryl and my boss would do well to remember that _neither_ of us is into any sort of games right now. I just want to do my job and be successful. There really is no more to it. Unlocking my cell beside me, I take it in my hands and send off a quick message.

 ** _So, I hate not seeing you in the coffee shop. Az x_**

 ** _Poor baby. Now you have nobody's ass to check out. E x_**

 ** _Mm, and you're working tonight so I'm barely going to see you at all. Az x_**

 ** _Maybe I should ask for my job back just so you have something to look at. You know, inspiration? E x_**

 ** _Ugh! That would be amazing. I don't like you not being here at all. Az x_**

 ** _I have tomorrow off with you, though. E x_**

 ** _You do. I'll call you later. I love you…_**

 ** _I love you, too. X_**

Smiling at our interaction, the clearing of a throat pulls me from my thoughts. Glancing up, I find my boss standing in front of me and suddenly my mood has totally changed. Giving her the slightest of smiles, I motion for her to sit down facing me and she pulls out a chair. "Hey, Arizona."

"Cheryl." I clear my throat. "Glad you could make it."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I wanted to meet you." She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. "You're not continuing, are you?"

"Oh, I am." I laugh. "This is my life, Cheryl. I'm not about to let someone like you ruin it for me because you don't seem to be able to keep your hands to yourself."

"I will." She nods. "I swear."

"I know you will." I agree. "That _pitbull_ I sent to your office last week?" I give her a harsh glare and she swallows a little harder than usual. "She will be the one you have to face if you don't."

"She's okay with you continuing this?" Cheryl furrows her brow. "Seriously?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" I ask. "She trusts me and she knows that I wouldn't _ever_ fall into bed with you." I've decided to keep the knowledge of Eliza joining me on my book tour to myself. I don't want anything to jeopardize this deal and if Cheryl finds out, she wouldn't think twice about cutting me loose. "We have nothing to worry about."

"Well, okay then." She breathes a sigh of relief. I'd like to believe that I can trust my boss, but she's made it really hard to do so the past week or so. If I keep my distance, all will be okay. "I think it's best if you work from my offices."

"Not happening." I open up my MacBook and focus my eyes on the screen. "Here will be perfectly fine."

"Arizona, you're a number one best seller…"

"And?"

"And I don't want anything getting in the way of your next success." She gives me a sad smile. "Everything you need will be at the office for you."

"Everything I need is right here," I state. "My laptop and my mind. Its all I need."

"I get that, but you need the quiet. You need to not be bothered by anything or anyone."

"Cheryl…" I sigh. "I'll be working from here or from home. That's the end of the discussion."

"Fine." She breathes out. "I just want what is best for you."

"And _this_ …here is best for me." I give her a fake smile. "This is the place I wrote my last book and this is the place where I'll write my next. My best."

"If you're sure?" She raises her eyebrow and I simply nod. "Is there anything else before I leave you alone for the rest of the day?"

"Nope. I'll have my first draft to you in the next couple of weeks. I've been working from home before this meeting happened and I'm progressing pretty well."

"Amazing." She gives me a genuine smile. "I'll look forward to finding it on my desk."

"Yup." I nod. "Now, I have a book to write." Motioning for her to leave and giving her a knowing look, she stands and pulls her purse up onto her shoulder.

"I'm glad you reconsidered." She backs away a little. "And I'm sorry for what happened in my office."

"Sure." Watching my ex-girlfriend _and_ my boss leave, that conversation went better than I imagined it would. I don't believe a single word she says and I certainly don't believe her apologies are genuine, but I have a job to do and I'll be damned if she thinks she can do as she pleases with my life. It doesn't work that way. Sighing as I sit back in my seat, I grab my cell and send off a quick message.

 ** _I'm taking you out tonight. Be ready for 9. Az x_**

* * *

Relaxing back in my seat, Teddy drops down beside me and studies my face. She knows something isn't right in my life at the moment, but I'm not sure I want to get into it with her. I know how much she hates Cheryl and honestly, this will tip her over the edge. She's been looking for a reason to take off on her since the day we broke it off, but none of it matters. I'm happy in my relationship and my work life is beginning to pick up. I had some crazy energy as the day went on and even I surprised myself by how much writing I managed to get done. It won't always be that way, but whilst it's happening, I have to stay on the roll I seem to be on. _I just have so much in my head._ It's been driving me crazy not knowing if I'd have a writing career at the end of the whole disagreement with Cheryl, but now my mind is settled and I feel like I can truly breathe now.

"Are you just going to pretend you didn't have a catfight with your ex-girlfriend, or?"

"What?" I furrow my brow. "How do you even know about that?"

"I may or may not have bumped into Jay a few days ago downtown." She shrugs. "Eliza told him."

"Of course, she did." I roll my eyes. "It really doesn't matter, Teddy. It's not important anymore."

"Uh, I'll be the judge of that." She scoffs as she takes her glass in her hands. "What happened?"

"She's just trying to play games." I shrug. "It's no big deal."

"Games?" She waits for me to elaborate.

"Just…promise you won't hit the roof?" I whine. "I really don't need any more to do with it, Ted's."

"Okay." She agrees. "But I want to know what happened."

"You know everything that happened in Buffalo?" She nods. "Well, I called off the deal with my publishers. I just didn't want the headache of the book tour and being away from Eliza. I figured we needed to fix us before I could even think about writing again."

"I get that." She sips her drink.

"I went there last week to try and get the deal back on the table. We were doing good and Eliza begged me to take it back. I guess it made sense. I mean, it's what I love and deep down, I knew we would be okay."

"I'm glad she wanted you to go back…" She narrows her eyes. "But something tells me it didn't go so well."

"Cheryl told me no." I shrug. "She said she couldn't trust that I wouldn't let her down again."

"Fucking bitch." My best friend scoffs.

"I was so pissed at myself for ever telling her I didn't want it and Eliza went to see her herself." A smile creeps onto my face. "She went there to effectively beg Cheryl to give me back the deal. She just…she was a total bitch to her, Teddy. To the point where she called Eliza a whore."

"She what?" Her eyes widen and my hand settles over her own.

"It's okay. Eliza totally held her own." I laugh. "She had her up against the wall."

"Damn, I'd have paid to see that." She smirks. "You know I hate her, Zo."

"I know, but anyway…she left me a message to say the deal was back on but little did I know, she had told Eliza she could only have the deal…or me."

"Okay, you've lost me."

"Cheryl _supposedly_ wants me back. Like, as her girlfriend."

"Oh, god." Teddy drops her gaze. "Please tell me that isn't about to happen."

"No way." I shake my head. "I went to the office to get started and she was under the impression that Eliza had left me. I swear she is batshit crazy."

"What planet is that woman on?" Teddy rolls her eyes. "Like you would leave Eliza for _her._ Ugh, she makes me sick."

"She called Eliza a hooker and I lost it." I shrug. "She won't fuck around with me, Ted's. No way. I'll give everything up before I lose my fiancé."

"I know you would." She gives me a sad smile. "Just remember how hard you have worked to get to where you are. Don't let her play games and just do your thing. _Both_ of you." Giving her a nod in agreement, I settle back in my seat and sip my scotch. It feels like forever since I came here, but I'm enjoying myself. Eliza and I are stronger than ever before and I know that this night will end amazingly. It always does when we are both happy and drama free. _Just...how long will that last, though?_

"What do I owe the pleasure?" A familiar voice sending a shiver down my spine, I glance up to find my fiancé standing to the side of me, her gorgeous black lace lingerie covering her body.

"Hi, beautiful." Desperately trying to hold back any kind of public display of affection, Eliza recognizes this and pulls me up to my feet.

"Can you excuse us for a little while, Teddy?"

"Oh!" She holds up her hands. "Knock yourself out." Throwing my best friend a wink, Eliza almost pulls me off of my feet as she drags me towards her private room. Stepping inside, the curtain closes and her lips are immediately on my own. I don't know what's gotten into her, but fuck…it's more than fine by me.

"H-Hey…" I pull back and she presses my body up against the wall. "Slow down, tiger."

"Sorry." Her forehead rests against my own. "I've just been thinking about you all night." Her eyes close as she tugs on her bottom lip. "I know I shouldn't but I've barely seen you today and it just made me a little crazy for you…"

"You need me, huh?" Her eyes opening, they're darker than before and it gives me all the answers I need. "What have you been thinking about, beautiful?" My words low, my lips reach her ear and I take her earlobe between my teeth. "Me…inside of you?"

"Oh god." She tightens her grip on my waist and gives me a slight nod. "Y-Yeah…"

"Well, that won't do." Working the skin of her neck, she presses her body harder against me and a low moan falls from her mouth. "My fiancé should _always_ get what she needs. What she thinks about. What she _wants._ " Glancing up, I spot the camera above my head and I swiftly tilt it up. _Whoever is watching is seeing nothing but ceiling right now._ Paul knows I'm here so he wouldn't intrude. I know that much. Smirking when she swallows hard, I can't believe I still have this effect on her. "Why don't you take a seat and I'll make you feel a little better…"

"Y-You don't have to do this." She stops me from pushing her towards the couch she has taken me on before today. "I know how much you hate this place."

"Mm, but my fiancé is here…and I want to make her feel incredible." I've never really done this in here before, but for Eliza, I'll always make an exception. She has been thinking about me and I have to give her what I know she wants. Cupping her sex through her panties, I can feel just how wet she is for me…so yeah, this is totally happening. "Just do as you are told, Eliza."

"Okay, that's hot." She groans as I guide her back towards the cool black leather. "You've no idea how crazy I've been for you tonight…"

"Oh, I think I do," I smirk as I push her down and her back connects with the soft material. "I know exactly how crazy I make you…and not just tonight, either."

"F-Fuck." Her back arching when I trail my fingertips up the inside of her thigh, her eyes close and a smile curls onto her lips. Straddling her legs, I lean in and press a soft kiss to her lips. My hips rolling into her own, Eliza's hands trail up my back and set my skin on fire. Her playlist has been playing since I walked in here and honestly, it's only making all of this so much hotter. Sure, I'd rather be at home with her and in our bed, but this? Yeah, it's fucking hot. Popping the clasp on the front of her bra, it falls open and I'm met with the most delicious view. A view I will never tire of seeing. "Oh, god…A-Arizona." Rolling my tongue over her hardening nipple, she hisses in delight. "God, yes."

 ** _These lips can't wait to taste your skin, baby, no, no_**

 ** _And these eyes, yeah, can't wait to see your grin, ooh ooh baby_**

 ** _Just let my love_**

 ** _Just let my love adorn you_**

 ** _Please baby, yeah_**

 ** _You gotta know_**

 ** _You gotta know_**

 ** _You know that I adore you_**

 ** _Yeah baby_**

Smiling against her skin, my tongue trails down between her breasts and straight towards exactly where I know she wants me. Exactly where I know she is throbbing. "I missed you today…" My breath tickling her skin, her hands find my hair and I slowly shift down her body, my mouth never leaving her gorgeous body. The body that will _always_ belong to me. "I missed this…" Slipping her panties over her thighs, I settle between them and moan in appreciation when I find her center absolutely soaked. "Mm, all for me?" I ask.

"Y-Yeah." Running my fingertip through her dripping folds, her back arches and her hand instantly finds her nipple. "Mm, that feels amazing."

"You feel amazing," I smirk as my tongue rolls over her throbbing clit. "And you taste incredible."

 ** _Baby these fists will always protect ya, lady_**

 ** _And this mind, oh, will never neglect you, yeah, baby, oh, baby_**

 ** _And if they try to break us down don't let that affect us, no, baby_**

 ** _You just gotta let my love_**

 ** _Let my love_**

 ** _Let my love adorn you_**

 ** _Ah, le-le-le-let it dress you down_**

Her breath catching as I suck her clit into my mouth, my fingers toy with her entrance and her grip on my hair tightens. "F-Fuck, Arizona." I can feel just how much she needs me right now. How much she needs release. If we had more time, I'd drag this out as long as possible, but this is where she works and I wouldn't ever cause any issues here for her. "I-Inside…" She pants. "Please, fuck me…"

"Yeah?" I smile as I pull back and find her eyes. "You want to come for me?"

"So bad." She whispers, her head buried in the couch beneath us. "Please?"

 ** _You got to know_**

 ** _You gotta know_**

 ** _Know that I adore you_**

 ** _Just that babe_**

Pushing two fingers deep inside of her, my tongue gives her clit a world of attention and I can feel her gripping the couch either side of her body. "Mm…" The vibrations of my hum adding to the sensations I'm creating, it's only a matter of time before she comes hard for me. It's been a few days since we were intimate but that wasn't a concern. We've just both had a lot on. "God…"I pull back. "I could worship you forever, Eliza."

 ** _I... oh oh_**

 ** _Let my love adorn you baby_**

 ** _Don't you ever_**

 ** _Don't you let nobody tell you different baby_**

 ** _I'll always adore you_**

 ** _You gotta know know_**

 ** _You got to know know know_**

 ** _Now yeah_**

"S-So close." Her hips meet my every movement. "Yes…"

"Let me taste you, beautiful." My words causing her walls and her thighs to tighten around me, she pulls me in deeper and I know her orgasm is about to crash through her. "Take it and let me taste you."

 ** _Ooh, yeah_**

 ** _The same way that the stars adorn the skies yeah_**

 ** _Oh, look up suga_**

 ** _Now, hey, hey, hey_**

 ** _The same way that my whole world's in your eyes_**

 ** _Ooh, and this time now_**

"O-Oh…Shit, yes." Her body shaking against the leather couch, her thighs close around my head and she's so tight that I'm barely moving inside of her right now. "Fuck, don't stop." Pumping in and out of her, her breathing is ragged but fuck, it's the hottest thing in the world. I'm simply lapping up everything she has to offer me.

 ** _Just let_**

 ** _Let my love adorn you baby, hey_**

 ** _Le-le-le-let it dress you down_**

 ** _You gotta know, baby_**

 ** _Oh, you gotta know_**

 ** _Know that I adore you_**

 ** _Oh, love ain't never looked so good on ya_**

 ** _Ooh, put it on baby_**

 ** _Let my love adorn you_**

"Oh fuck." Her body trembling, I slow my pace and she pulls me up her body. "Jesus…" Her chest heaving, I press my lips below her ear and a low moan falls from her mouth as I slowly slip out of her. "God, I love you."

"I love you, too." I smile against her skin. "And you look so hot tonight."

"Mm, maybe I knew you would drop by." Her arms wrapping around me, my body is covering her own but I can't stay like this for too long. It's bad enough that people can look at my fiancé all night but to have her totally naked is just a complete no if someone walks in here.

"I'm sorry." I brush my thumb across the underside of her breast. "I just couldn't help myself."

"Don't ever be sorry." She turns her head to face me a little better. "I'll always want you with me."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **The song was 'Adorn' by Miguel.**


	68. Chapter 68

**Characters belong to Shonda (unfortunately). The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Eight

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Eight weeks later…_

"F-Fuck." Slamming back against my fiancé's hand, she hits deeper with every thrust and I'm desperately trying to hold on to what little oxygen I have left inside of me. My breath catching every time she pounds into me, my thighs are trembling and I know that I need this. We need this. I feel like I haven't had five minutes to myself with her and I know she feels the same way. Every chance we've had to just be together has ended in us sleeping. Arizona is fried from working late nights and early mornings on her book and whenever she is free, I'm working. Whenever I'm free, she is tired. I'm not sure I've ever seen her looking so done at the end of each day and the thought of even suggesting sex has probably been the last thing on her mind. She is working to strict deadlines but she is doing so good. Anything she does with those hands is incredible.

"I've missed you." She presses a kiss to my lower back. "I've missed feeling you." Her tongue works wonders on my skin. "Fucking you…" Curling her fingers, her center presses against me and my head drops between my shoulders. "Have you thought about me?"

"Every minute of every day," I reply, breathlessly. "You're all I've thought about."

"God, I wish I could fuck you like this forever." She moans, fresh arousal pooling between my legs. Coating her slender fingers. "I touched myself in the shower last night."

"Shit!" My heart pounding in my ears, the thought of that alone is enough to send me over the edge.

"I couldn't stop myself." She pulls me up and against her body. Her front now pressing against my back, both on our knees. Panting. Squirming. Loving each other. "Just thinking about you made me throb with want."

"I wish I'd been here to take care of you." My head falls back on her shoulder and her tongue runs up the side of my neck. "I wish I'd fucked you just how you needed it."

"I'm sure you can make up for that." Her voice low, she sinks deeper inside of me and my eyes slam shut, my mouth hanging open. "Do you have any idea how wet I am for you right now?"

"F-Fuck." My stomach tightening when her free hand tugs at my nipple, I take my bottom lip between my teeth and she smirks against my ear.

"God, I'm so wet for you, Eliza." She whispers. "Wet…and aching for your touch." Ghosting her fingers down my stomach, a gasp falls from my mouth when her fingertips reach my throbbing clit. "I just need to be fucked hard…"

"Y-Yes…" I hiss, my orgasm approaching and my world slowly fading to black. "I-I, fuck…oh shit!" My hand finding her own, I writhe against Arizona and she laces our fingers together, my clit receiving the desperate relief it needs. "S-So close." I moan as I turn my head and capture her lips.

"Come for me, beautiful." Mumbling against my mouth, she presses our fingers harder against my clit and thrusts harder than before inside of me. "Come for me so you can see exactly what you've done to me."

"Yes, fuck!" Sinking down onto her fingers, my orgasm rips through me and my fiancé holds me close, taking everything I have. "Don't stop." I groan as she wiggles her fingers inside of me. "Please, don't stop."

"Would I ever stop making you feel good, baby?"

"N-No…" Sucking on the skin of my neck, she is creating all kinds of intense sensations right now. My body doesn't know what to do with itself. "Fuck, that feels good." Slowing her pace, her teeth sink into the skin of my neck and pure electricity courses through my veins. Slowly slipping out of me, her hand reaches my mouth and she slips her fingers past my lips.

"Fucking beautiful." She whispers as I taste myself. "And like nothing else in this world."

"ON YOUR BACK!" I grip her wrist. Turning, I pull her down onto our bed and flip us both. Now straddling her legs, her eyes are darker than I've seen them in a long time. "God, I've missed this."

"Mm, you and me both." She smirks as my fingertips graze her stomach. Her muscles tightening as they move further down, I can feel how wet she is before I've even touched her. "Baby, please?" Arching her back, she takes her nipple between her fingers and moans as I lean forward and off of her, my hand dipping between her legs. "Y-Yes." She nods, her eyes closed. "Touch me, Eliza."

My lips enveloping her nipple, I suck and roll my tongue over the painfully hard bud. Without warning, I sink two fingers inside of her and the gasp that falls from her mouth is simply beautiful. Her chest heaving in anticipation, I slowly thrust and tease her a little. I know she loves it, and she knows I love it, too. "Mm, tight." I struggle to move inside of her. "What I love about you most."

"M-More." She groans as her hips match my movements. "It's been two weeks and I need more of you." Adding a third finger, Arizona takes her bottom lip between her teeth and my mouth finds her ear.

"What did you imagine when you were fucking yourself in the shower?" I whisper, my tongue poking out and running up the shell of her ear. "Tell me…"

"T-This." I slam into her harder than before. "Fuck…and that." She smirks.

"Yeah?" I narrow my eyes as I come face to face with my fiancé. "I was fucking you hard, huh?"

"So hard." She breathes out. "Harder than ever before." I feel like she is challenging me right now but she knows better than to do that. She knows if she wants something…she gets it. She gets it, and then some. "So hard that I was begging you to stop."

"Now, I like the sound of that," I smirk. Trailing my lips down between the skin of her gorgeous breasts, I reach her lower stomach and she knows I'm about to taste her for the first time in forever. "I thought about this moment all week." It's true. Arizona had agreed that she would finish up whatever she had to do so we could spend Saturday evening together. Little did I know, she was ready to pounce on me the moment I walked through the door some three hours ago. Dinner had been the plan and a little wine…but we didn't make it. She dragged me up the stairs and I haven't seen the outside of our bedroom since then. "Tasting you on the tip of my tongue."

"Y-Yeah?" She lifts her head and smiles as I settle between her legs. Using my free hand to separate her soaked folds, I blow gently against her clit and her head falls back on the pillow beneath it. "Fuck…" Gripping my head, she forces my mouth against her and I suck the swollen bud into my mouth. My tongue rolling and my lips sucking a little harder, fresh arousal coats my fingers and she is squeezing me harder than she ever has. "Shit, that feels…" Gasping when I pound into her, her lack of words makes me smile. "Oh god." Her voice barely audible, I know I can take care of Arizona better than anyone else in this world. I'm more than sure of that. "Fuck, yes." Her nails digging into my scalp, she is effectively fucking my mouth right now. Everything about this moment is all I've been thinking of and I know neither of us would let one another down. I mean, how can I not give her exactly what she wants when she has been taking care of herself alone in the shower. That just won't do. Never.

"Fuck, you taste better than ever." I pull back and glance up at her. Her thighs are trembling as I watch myself push in and out of her and honestly, it's nothing short of mesmerizing. "You are so beautiful." My fingers glistening, I push deep inside of her and her walls clench. "You wanna come, huh?"

"Please…" She begs. "I need you."

"Mm, you've got me." I tug on my bottom lip as I continue to watch on in pure delight. "You never fail me with this incredible body of yours," I whisper as I place a kiss to her inner thigh. "And I'm going to give it exactly what it wants."

"Y-Yes." She moans as my lips return to their previous movements. "I'm so close, Eliza."

"I wanna taste you," I mumble against her center. "And I want to taste you now." Curling my fingers as I suck harder, her hand's fist in the sheets and her hips lift from the bed. "Mm…"

"F-Fuck." She gasps. "Yes, don't stop." Thrusting a little harder and a little deeper, she bucks against my mouth and I can feel her entire body shaking. "I-I, Oh god…I'm coming. Fuck, I'm coming." Her thighs clamping around my head, Arizona writhes and moans as her body drops back down onto the bed. "Shit." Gripping my head and stopping my movements, I know she needs a minute before we continue our night together. Just enough time to catch her breath should do the trick. "S-Stop." She pleads. "I-I…" Pulling back a little before pleasure turns to pain, her hand is flat against her forehead and her chest is heaving like never before. "FUCK. ME."

"Just did, baby." I slowly move up her body and smirk. "I just did…"

* * *

Settled on my back, Arizona is partially laying on top of me and I'm not sure if she is even awake right now. It's a little before eight in the evening and we haven't gone round after round quite like that in a long time. Work gets in the way, I understand that, but I refuse to deprive our relationship like this anymore. Sure, the sex is hot at the end of it, but I've missed touching her. I've missed feeling her skin against my own. I can't allow that to happen again. Even if I have to meet her at the coffee shop and drag her into the bathroom, I will. Whatever it takes, I will be intimate with her whenever possible. My fingertips ghosting up her naked toned back, she shudders and smiles against my chest. "That feels nice…"

"I can't wait so long next time."

"I'm sorry." She glances up at me, her eyes soft and holding nothing but love. "I didn't mean to take less time for us."

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I give her a genuine smile. "Just…when I need you, I need you." I shrug, a smirk forming on my fiancé's lips. "You know what I mean?"

"I do." She nods. "Take what we can get…when we can get it, right?"

"Good to know we are on the same page." Pressing her lips to my own, I pull her up my body a little and the scent of her perfume makes my head spin. "I'm so proud of how hard you have been working."

"It's been tough, but I feel like I'm right in the thick of it now." She toys with the skin of my collarbone. "I just see less of you and I hate that."

"Me too, but it will all be worth it in the end, right?" I give her a knowing look. "When the world has their hands on your books, everything will be good for you."

"Everything is already good for me, with or without my book deal." She wraps her arm around my waist and nuzzles into the side of my neck. "You are all I need in life."

"Still…I'm super proud of you." My fingers running through Arizona's hair, goosebumps travel down her neck and she releases the smallest of sighs. "Everything been okay at the office?" I've tried to avoid any talk of Cheryl, but now and then, I like to check up on things. I know Arizona would tell me the moment something happened, but I still like to make sure nobody is interfering with my relationship. My fiancé.

"Everything has been fine." She pulls back and studies my face. "You know you have nothing to worry about."

"I know I don't." My lips press against her nose. "But I don't want anyone taking advantage of you."

"And if they did?" She raises an eyebrow.

"My inner badass would come out." I shrug. "Hell hath no fury, baby." Throwing her a wink, a giggle erupts in her throat and its the most adorable sound I've ever heard. "You're way too cute." I shake my head, my own laugh making itself known.

"Cute?" She scoffs. "Fucking cute?" Suddenly straddling my legs, I chew on my lip and watch her naked body sitting on my own. I live for nights like this with Arizona. Laughing. Not a single care in the world. I love how any tension she's had over the week just totally disappears and it's nothing but us in the room. Our love. Our life together. It really is something beautiful.

"You _are_ cute." I pull her down against me and brush my thumb across her bottom lip. Leaning in, I capture her incredible mouth and a low moan rumbles in her throat. "Don't let anyone ever tell you any different."

"Do you have any idea how happy you make me?" She sits up on her elbow, her head resting in the palm of her hand. "How perfect I feel when I'm locked away here with you?"

"If it's the same way I feel…then yeah, I totally know." My fingers running through her hair, Arizona's eyes close and I study her beautiful face. The innocence of it. The happiness. Nothing and no one can touch us when we are like this. I don't care who tries to involve themselves in our relationship, I know I was only ever made for one woman. Arizona. If I had to fight every bitch in New York City, I would. She knows that. Cheryl does, too. "You back to it all tomorrow?" I ask, sadness settling in my eyes.

"Sunday?" She asks. "Nope. I've told Cheryl I'm not working Sunday anymore. It's too much and it doesn't really make any difference to the flow of my writing."

"So, I get tonight _and_ tomorrow with you?" My smile grows ridiculously wide. "Really?"

"Mmhmm…" She nods, her eyes studying my face. "Anything you wanna do?"

"Keep you all to myself," I state. "And don't even fight me on that."

"Would I ever?" She feigns shock. "Couldn't think of anything better…"

"God, this weekend may just be even better than I thought it would be." Sensing that we need this more often, Arizona presses a soft kiss to my lips and smiles against my mouth.

"I promise to make more time for you, okay?"

"I'll take whatever I can get," I say honestly. "I know your writing is important to you so I'm okay with the lack of time we spend together. It won't be forever, right?"

"I've made it clear that I'd drop it all for you, Eliza." She gives me a knowing look. "That hasn't changed."

"Just shut up and hold me." I roll my eyes playfully. "I need to get as much of you as I can whilst it's on offer." Settling down comfortably, it's nice to have my fiancé here with me and not asleep. Sure, we may fall into each other's arms every night, but once her head hits that pillow, she is gone. She doesn't flinch. She doesn't move. She barely breathes.

 _I love this time we get…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	69. Chapter 69

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Nine

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Three months later…_

"You have everything you need?" I head into our bedroom and find Eliza packing the last of her things. "We have to leave in thirty minutes."

"Yup." She nods. "Just double checking everything." Leaning against the frame of the door, I watch her as she chews on her lip, her eyes taking in her belongings strewn all over our bed. "I think I have everything…"

"Well, if you've forgotten anything, I'm sure we can pick it up while we are away." I smile as she finds my eyes. "You sure you want to do this?"

"There is no way I'm not coming on this tour with you." She gives me a knowing look. "I wouldn't survive here without you."

"I'm sure you would manage." Pushing off the frame, I approach my fiancé and she holds out her arms. "I'm not that hard to be away from…"

"Come here and kiss me before I have to keep my hands to myself for the foreseeable." Wrapping her arms around my waist, she pulls me in close and I moan into her mouth. "You don't mind me coming along, do you?"

"How could I?" I furrow my brow. "I'm going to wake up next to you every morning…" She gives me a genuine smile and releases me from her grip. "Now, get your ass down those stairs in the next twenty or I _will_ leave without you."

"You wouldn't." She feigns shock before actually thinking about it. "W-Would you?"

"Are you willing to test me on it?" I raise an eyebrow as I add a little sway to my hips.

"God, no." She shakes her head. "But, can you walk a little slower so I can watch your ass in those jeans a little longer?" Rolling my eyes playfully, I throw her a wink and shake my ass before I disappear out of our bedroom. "YOU'RE KILLING ME!" Eliza yells and I can't help but smile. This trip could be good for us. I know I brought us out to the lake house after her attack, but other than that, we haven't really taken any trips anywhere. Traveling around the US is sure to bring all kinds of fun for us, and so long as Cheryl keeps herself to herself and her nose out of our business, this could be amazing.

Dragging my last bag down the staircase, I drop to my knees and push it towards the door. _God help whoever lifts that into the plane._ Climbing back to my feet, I go about our home and check that everything is secure whilst I wait for my fiancé to finish packing up her life upstairs. I'm sure she has her entire closet coming along with us but she has so much good stuff that I couldn't help her to decide what she should leave behind. _I know she has her ENTIRE lingerie draw._ I'd have been a fool to discount any of that. Rounding the kitchen counter, I pour myself a small glass of wine and settle back on a stool. It's a little before five in the evening and as of this moment, I'm officially on some kind of vacation. I know that ultimately it is work, but I'm getting out of town with my Eliza and that to me screams vacation. Sipping on my wine, I watch my fiancé descend the stairs and give her a soft smile. "Do you have one of those poured for me, or?"

"You don't drink." I furrow my brow, laughing.

"But this is the beginning of our trip and for the next however many weeks…I can do what I want." She shrugs. "No work. No training. No having to keep my body in shape."

"I like the sound of that." I narrow my eyes. "Besides, I can keep you in shape if that's what you really want."

"Oh yeah?" She closes the distance between us and traps my body between herself and the counter. "And how exactly are you going to do that?"

Motioning for her to come a little closer, she leans in and my lips ghost over her ear. "By fucking your brains out at every given opportunity." Her body pressing against my own, a low moan rumbles in her throat and she grips my ass.

"Starting now, or?" She pulls back and narrows her eyes. "Because I could really use some training right now."

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "When you least expect it."

"Damn." She closes her eyes and breathes deep through her nose. "Just when I thought I was going to get me some." Shaking her head, she steps back and pours herself a small wine. We don't have long before we leave for the airport but being like this right now is good enough for us. As much as I want to take her clothes off, we have plenty of beautiful hotel rooms to do that in. "So, you looking forward to all of this?" She asks as she licks the red wine from her lips.

"I am." I nod. "I don't quite know what to expect, but it should be enjoyable."

"And what do I do while you are doing your thing with your fans?" She asks, her eyebrow raised. "I mean, you know how much I love your work…it's what brought us together."

"Yeah…" That memory of the first time I spoke to Eliza comes back and causes a dimpled smile. "You, my beautiful fiancé, can do whatever you like…"

"So, if I wanted to be there in the background, I could?"

"Of course." I smile. "You can be wherever you want to be." Cheryl won't like it, but she can kiss my ass as far as I'm concerned. She may be my boss, but without me, she wouldn't have this tour. Without me, she wouldn't have another best seller on her hands. She may hate me and Eliza being together, but we come as a pair…and I'll make sure she understands that. "You ready to hit the road?"

"You know it." Setting our glasses down, Eliza takes my hand in her own and pulls me towards the door. "Let's take some much needed time to ourselves…"

 _God, that sounds perfect right now…_

* * *

Our luggage stacked high, Eliza wheels it all through the terminal and I kinda guide her towards where we need to be. She always tells me how strong and in control she is, so I decided to test that theory with our bags. She didn't approve of the suggestion but she loves me and I know she wouldn't leave me to struggle alone. I can hear her huffing and puffing behind me, but I can't turn around. If I do, I'll laugh. If I do, she will stop what she is doing and leave all of our crap in the middle of the airport. _It's mostly her stuff, anyway._ Catching sight of Cheryl, she waves me towards her and we head in her direction. She has already checked in by the looks of it, so I don't know why she is hanging out here. She could be waiting at the gate by now. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm incapable of looking after myself sometimes.

"Arizona…" She attempts to pull me into a hug but I hold out my hand instead. "Right, um…good to see you." She takes it in her own and gives it a firm shake. "Your journey here okay?"

"Yeah, um…why are you here?" I furrow my brow. "You didn't have to wait for me."

"Figured we could head through together." She shrugs. "Didn't want you to be unsure of where you were going…"

"I've flown from this airport many times." I give her a knowing look. "I know exactly where I'm going."

"Of course." She smiles. "You have a lot of bags…" Glancing behind me, Cheryl hasn't even acknowledged my fiancé yet but I wouldn't expect anything less. This is what she does and I knew it would be this kind of atmosphere. Eliza doesn't have the patience for her anyway, though, so it's probably best if they just avoid conversation with each other. "Eliza, I can take care of Arizona from here." My boss gives my fiancé a smile. One that I know is fake. "Thanks for helping her out with her stuff.

"You think I'm her butler?" She scoffs. "Wow…"

"N-No." Cheryl backtracks. "But we are good here and you can't go any further than check-in, so?"

"I can't?" Eliza furrows her brow. "Crazy…"

"No, you don't have a ticket…" Cheryl rolls her eyes. "I'm sure my superstar will call you once she's settled at her hotel. I'm not sure when that will be, though."

"Y-You're superstar?" Eliza drops one of the bags to the floor and approaches my boss. "Did you just refer to Arizona as _yours?_ " Squaring up to Cheryl, I'd cut in but angry Eliza is hot. Very hot. "I'm pretty certain that my fiancé doesn't belong to you…"

"Chill out, Rambo." Cheryl backs away. "She will call you when she has settled, now back up!" She scoffs.

"She has no reason to call me." Eliza steps back and takes my hand in her own. "Right, baby?"

"Right." She presses a kiss below my ear and Cheryl simply stares, unaware of what is going on here. "You have our tickets?" I ask.

"Sure." Eliza nods. "Let's get us both checked in." Motioning for me to head towards the desk, Cheryl steps in front of me and blocks me from going any further. "Move out of my way." She spits.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Um…on tour with my fiancé." Eliza deadpans. "Okay, mother?"

"Oh, I don't think so." I can see my boss's anger building but she really cannot stop Eliza from traveling with me. She also can't stop her from staying with me. I've called all of the hotels we are due at and I've added her name to each and every one of them. "You aren't coming on this tour, Eliza. If you cannot trust her, that is your own problem…but you aren't traveling with us."

"Watch me." She pushes past Cheryl and we make our way to check in. I swear if Cheryl causes a scene in this airport I'll freak. I don't know why she is so bothered about Eliza coming along. She has told me she will back off and she knows I want nothing with her. I wish she would let it go already. Standing back whilst we get checked in, Eliza seems a little tense but it's understandable. Even I didn't expect this reaction from Cheryl so I don't imagine she did either. Turning back to face me and handing over my ticket, I take her hand in my own and pull her into my body a little. "Sorry about that." She whispers. "I don't know what her fucking problem is…"

"She is her own problem." I smile. "You aren't doing anything wrong and you are with me, okay?"

"I hope she doesn't think she is going to speak to me like that every time she sees me during this trip." She shakes her head. "I'll end up fucking punching her."

"That won't be necessary but I know…I'll talk to her." Squeezing her hand tight, we head back towards my boss and her face is red. She is angry and she is pissed. I don't know why, though. "What now?" I whine as she approaches us both. "What aren't you happy about, Cheryl?"

"This." She motions between Eliza and I. "This wasn't a part of the deal, Arizona."

"I wasn't aware that it had to be on paper…" I laugh. "I'm also sure it doesn't _need_ to be."

"You can't just bring your fiancé along because she is scared of losing you." She gives Eliza a knowing look. "You should have figured this out way before now. This isn't acceptable."

"What isn't acceptable?" I ask, incredulously. "Your fucking attitude isn't acceptable."

"Watch it!" She points in my face.

"All right." Eliza steps between us and stares Cheryl down. "Back the fuck up." Motioning for my boss to step away, she stands her ground and Eliza grips her by the arm. "Listen to me and listen good. Arizona and I are doing this together because we want to. It has zero to do with you, so get on that fucking plane and mind your own business."

"I'm not happy about this…" She shakes her head. "Not happy at all."

"Yeah, well I ain't happy that we having fucking Trump as President but what can I do about it, huh?" Eliza shrugs and I have to hold back my laughter. If I know one thing is for sure, it is that she always has my back. Always. "I'm grabbing us some coffee." She breathes out. "You want your usual?"

"Yeah, that would be great." Chewing on my lip as I watch her walk away, Cheryl moves a little closer and shakes her head. "Don't Cheryl." I hold up my hand.

"Why have you brought her with you?"

"Because I wanted to." I turn to face her fully. "I mean, what is your problem?"

"I just…I don't think it's a good idea." She sighs. "You guys will fall out and one thing will lead to another. You will leave the book tour and I'll be left explaining everything to your fans."

"Why would we fight?" I laugh. "You may think that your little scheme pushed us apart, but it only made us stronger. You keep your mouth shut and nothing will go wrong."

"You realize I'm your boss, right?" She raises her eyebrow. "I don't know where you get off on talking to me like that…"

"Yeah, well you want to try acting like my boss and not my fucking ex." I roll my eyes. "I don't know what you have against Eliza but she isn't here to cause trouble, Cheryl. She's here because I asked her to be and she said yes." I give her a knowing look. "Whatever ideas or plans you had in your head for this trip…remove them."

"I didn't have any plans." She swallows hard.

"We both know that is bullshit." I smile. Watching as my fiancé approaches me with two coffees, she hands one over to me and places her hand on the small of my back. "We should get to the gate." I sigh.

"Yeah, come on." Giving Cheryl a hard glare, my boss drops her gaze and backs away a little. "You good?" Eliza lowers her tone. "She didn't say anything hurtful to you while I was gone?"

"No, I'm okay." I give her a genuine smile. "I think you scared the hell out of her, anyway."

"I didn't want that to happen but she cannot spend her life talking to people like that." Eliza shakes her head. "Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that."

"Hey, _Boss_ …" Remembering our exchange only minutes ago, I turn back to Cheryl and she glances up at me. "Point in my face again and it will be the last time you do."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	70. Chapter 70

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I love this. I love watching Arizona interact with her fans and hearing how much they appreciate her writing. I know she's awesome, but I'm not sure she feels that way sometimes. I've noticed that she doesn't take compliments too easily but her fans are here and they're loving every minute they can get with her. I could honestly watch this all day. I get every single piece of her, her writer mode included, but these people are genuinely excited to see her. To speak to her. To get even a glance from her. A while ago, I'd have been jealous of all the hot women begging for pictures with her, but this isn't what that is. Sure, they may have some kind of lust filled moment for her because of what she does, but this is her job. Her career. Her life. She doesn't see it how they do. She's a writer, but first and foremost…she's just a person. Another human being amongst the billions already walking the earth. She is Arizona Robbins and yeah…she is fucking incredible. In every way imaginable. I'm not sure I've ever been so proud of another person in my entire life, but that's how she makes me feel. Proud to have her in my life. Proud to be apart of hers. Just…proud. Everything about her and everything that she is just makes my heart pound in my chest and I know I'll never experience that feeling with anyone else. It's just not possible.

Leaning back again the far wall in the bookstore we are visiting, her eyes are shining brighter than they ever have and her smile is so wide, I'm worried her face is hurting. She just looks at home here. She looks like she belongs. I know she is happy with me and our home, but this is where I see her in her entirety. This is where I see her true love for her career. I'm not sure she has ever been so happy. _To think that this could have all been impossible to achieve._ I stand by my decision to go against her wishes in terms of approaching Cheryl about the deal. I always will. I know Arizona asked me to leave it alone and I know that in the end she was happy that I didn't, but I do wonder if she was a little mad at me. I wouldn't have blamed her if she was. I promised her that I wouldn't get involved and I broke that promise within twenty-four hours. I just couldn't allow Cheryl to take this all from her. Not when I knew it was because I'm in the picture. I'm not a bad person and I'd never do anything to hurt anyone, but Cheryl had it in for me and she was taking it out on my fiancé. I may not look like much, but I'm not stupid. I could see her intentions a mile off.

Watching her boss from the other side of the room, I can see the protective streak in her eyes. In her body language. I can see how she is guarding Arizona like she is her own. I'm not intimidated by this woman and the sooner she realizes that the sooner she can stop with the silly games she seems to be playing. I don't have time for games with her. I'm too old for that shit and honestly, I've been there and done it. It's boring. It's not my thing at all. I don't have to fight for Arizona because I know how much she loves me. I know how much love we have for each other. If Cheryl could recognize that, she would see that she is wasting her time with all of this. _She's watching me…_ Just like she has been since we arrived. I don't know what she is expecting me to do or whether she is waiting for me to go hell for leather in front of everyone, but she will be waiting a long time. _The longest time imaginable._

I don't need to insert my dominance. I have Arizona. We _all_ know that. I've had her since the moment my eyes landed on her in the coffee shop, so no…I don't need to worry or be seen as the jealous type. It's not who I am. It's not who I've ever been. I know Cheryl is trying to get a rise out of me, but it won't happen. I've learned my lesson from recent months, and Arizona and I are good. Better than ever before, in my opinion. Realising that I'm thinking too hard, I glance around and find no sign of Cheryl. _She was there seconds ago._

Feeling a presence close to me, I turn my head to the right and find the woman in question beside me, a little too close for comfort. "Can I help you?" My eyes focusing back on my fiancé, she is talking with a fan and signing a copy of her book. "Shouldn't you be over there being the weird protective boss?"

"Why are you here?" She sighs. "I mean, it's kinda pathetic how needy you are coming across…"

"Needy?" I furrow my brow. "I seem needy to you?"

"Uh, yeah." Cheryl scoffs.

"Well, if you were doing your job properly, you would know that I'm here because Arizona is nervous."

"Nervous?"

"It's her first day, Cheryl." I give her a knowing look. "She's never done this before. She asked me to be here until she settles into it."

"She has no reason to be nervous." She shakes her head. "She has me here with her…"

"Have you thought that maybe she doesn't _want_ you here with her?" I raise an eyebrow. "I mean, you haven't done anything to show that you are a supportive boss."

"I've been nothing _but_ supportive." She tries to defend herself but honestly, it's laughable. Her entire existence lately is laughable. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're pathetic." I roll my eyes. "And you stink of desperation."

"You aren't needed here." She folds her arms over her chest. "Why don't you just leave? You're making her feel uncomfortable…"

"Really?" I step a little closer to her. "Are you sure I'm not just making _you_ feel uncomfortable?"

"You think I'm intimidated by you?" She scoffs.

"Yeah, I do." I smile as I tilt my head a little. "I know you don't like me, Cheryl. You should know, though…that the feeling is mutual." Her eyes boring into me, she's going to burn a hole right through me if she isn't careful. "You know, I've never done anything to offend you. Actually, I quite liked the idea of you being so good for Arizona. Professionally, that is."

"So?"

"So, I'd love to know where you get off on behaving how you do?" I laugh. "I mean, we are just trying to make a living. We are just trying to get on with our lives. You are intent on messing that up though, right?"

"I don't need to mess it up." She disagrees. "You do that all by yourself."

"How so?" I ask.

"You get too defensive." She shrugs as she glances at Arizona. "Too hot-headed and jealous. It isn't good for either of you. It's why I didn't want you on this tour."

"That's bullshit and we both know it." I stare her down. "You didn't want me here because you wanted Arizona to yourself."

"We both know that is perfectly possible without you traveling the US with her, Eliza." She smirks before something flickers in her eyes and her body language changes. Sadness, maybe? Realisation? "But no, I know I don't have her and I know I never will."

"So, why are you in my face?"

"Just…be here but in the background, okay?" She sighs. "Let her do her thing and back off."

"That's what I'm doing." I furrow my brow. "I'm only here because she asked me to be…"

"Sure." She snorts. "You keep telling yourself that." Watching Arizona's boss walk away, I furrow my brow and glance over at my fiancé. She seems happy and content right now. She seems like she's on a roll. _I don't need to be here._ Clearing my throat, I step away from the spot I've spent the past hour or so in and head for the exit of the bookstore. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, I release a deep breath and head in the direction of the hotel. _I wasn't being needy._ I was just doing what Arizona asked of me. Maybe I'll just hang back at the hotel for the foreseeable. Arizona doesn't need me watching her, Cheryl is right.

 _I hate to say it, but yeah…Cheryl is totally right._

* * *

Relaxed on the bed in our hotel room, my eyes are flickering closed but it feels good. That moment where you cannot decide if you want to sleep or not but your body defies you…yeah, it feels good. Arizona is due back at any moment but she will arrive when she arrives. Knowing my fiancé, some of her fans have arrived late and she is making time for them. That's just who she is. Smiling when her face is the only image on my mind, I turn on my side and nuzzle into her pillow. _It smells so good._ Everything she comes into contact with smells good. It always has. Shifting her pillow a little, I curl my body around it and release a deep sigh. _God, I miss her._ I've only been away from her for a few hours but yeah, I miss her. I always do. _Do I really come across as needy?_ I've never thought about that possibility but I have to back off like Cheryl suggested.

Startled when our hotel room door beeps, I glance over my shoulder and find my fiancé heading inside. _She looks tired._ Motioning for her to come and join me, she kicks off her heels and throws herself down onto the bed, my arms wrapping around her waist as her back settles against my front. "You finish up okay?"

"Yeah." She sighs. "You left…"

"I did." I agree, my eyes closing. "You didn't need me there. Figured I'd leave you alone for a while."

"What did she say to you?" Her question catching me off guard, Arizona turns in my arms and studies my face. "I saw you both talking…"

"She just…" Smiling, I try to push all thoughts of Cheryl from my mind. "She just spoke the truth, is all."

"What the hell does that even mean?" I open my eyes to find Arizona giving me a questioning look. "Eliza?"

"It's not important." My thumb trails across her bottom lip. "You look like you could use a nap, though."

"Uh, no." Arizona sits up on her elbow. "I want to know what she said, Eliza."

"She was just being Cheryl, is all." I smile. "You know, the usual." Shrugging, I pull her in a little closer and breathe her in. "You looked super happy today."

"I was." She gives me a small smile as she tries to hide a yawn. "It felt good."

"I'm so happy for you, Arizona." I press a kiss to her lips. "You've been incredible and worked your ass off for this. Just...enjoy it, okay? You deserve every moment of happiness from this."

"Thank you." She presses her lips to my forehead. "Just for being what I needed and supporting me."

"My pleasure," I smirk. "Your happiness is important to me, you know that."

"I know, but _our_ happiness is more important."

"I'm unbelievably happy…" I give her a knowing look. "So, you don't have to worry about that." I'm not sure I've ever been this happy in my life. I know our relationship is pretty damn good right now but seeing Arizona how she was today is all I can think about. If I have to wait around at home for her for the rest of my life, that is what I'll do. If this book deal thrusts her further into the public eye then so be it. I can love her in the background, it's not a problem. "I think maybe I'll hang out here when you go do your thing tomorrow."

"Why?" She asks, confusion on her gorgeous face. "I want you with me…"

"I know but you don't _need_ me with you, Arizona." My eyes study her face and I give her a sad smile. "I think you should do this bit alone, okay?"

"She said something about you being there, didn't she?" I'd lie but Arizona sees through me. She knows I have a terrible poker face and that's how it's always been. "Eliza, stop all of this and just tell me what she said."

"It doesn't matter." I give her my best smile. "Cheryl is right. I have no reason to stand around watching you…"

"But I wanted you there with me." She looks at me like she is reassuring me but I don't need that. I don't need reassurance because I'm not worried about this. About us. "Please come with me tomorrow?"

"I'll meet you when it's over and we will go out to dinner, yeah?"

"Why are you doing what she asks?" Arizona gives me an incredulous look. "If you're worried about her, I can speak to her…"

"Worried about her?" I scoff. "Do I look worried about her?"

"Well, no." Arizona shrugs. "But I'll speak to her."

"No, you won't." I disagree. "Leave it, Arizona." Pulling her into my arms, I press a kiss to her lips and pull back. "There is no reason to speak to her. What she said made sense and I'm trying to be as least problematic as possible. You going to her is only going to get her back up again and I don't have the energy to fight with her."

"I don't know who she thinks she is…"

"Do you think I'm needy?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"What? No!" She laughs. "Why would I think that?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "Just a feeling I have…" I know I'm not needy, but I need to hear it from her. I need to know what my fiancé thinks. _She wouldn't tell me even if she thought I was._ "You'll be honest though if this becomes too much?"

"If what becomes too much?" Arizona gives me a look of total confusion.

"My being here." I smile as my thumb trails her bottom lip. "You know I love you and you know I'll do anything for you, but if my being here causes any problems for you, I need you to tell me…"

"You couldn't ever cause problems for me." She gives me a heartbreaking smile. "You are all that matters to me and I need you here with me, Eliza. _I'm_ the needy one."

"Mm, that's not true." I shake my head. "You've got this whether I'm her here or not." Giving her a knowing look, she pulls back a little and studies my face. "What?"

"You don't want to be here, do you?"

"I do." I counter. "You know I do."

"Then why all of this?" Arizona asks. "Why are you asking me these things…"

"I just wanted to get a feel for what you thought." I breathe out. "You are so awesome and you've totally got this. Just…I don't think you need me at the bookstores with you, is all."

"This is Cheryl." She sits up and runs her fingers through her hair. "I swear I'm going to fucking kill her one of these days."

"No, you're not." I pull her back down and her body connects with the mattress. "You are going to get on with this and be amazing. Because you deserve it. You deserve all of the congratulations and all of the attention from your fans. We're good, and that is all that matters."

"Promise?" She gives me a look of desperation. "Promise you aren't going to head home and leave me to do this thing alone?"

"That's not going to happen." Her body rests on my own. "I promise…that isn't going to happen."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	71. Chapter 71

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-One

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

This tour has been amazing for me so far. I never imagined it would ever happen, but it has and it's been everything I could have wanted. Fans discussing my book with me. How they are so engrossed in the detail and how they inadvertently suggest new storylines. I love it, I really do. There is just one thing missing...my fiancé. Eliza seems to have taken a back seat of late, but I think she's okay. I mean, we seem okay…amazing actually, but I don't know why she has backed off. She knows I want her with me for all of this. The experience and what not. She just doesn't seem as interested as I thought she would be. The first few days, yeah…but since then I'm barely seeing her throughout the day. I hate it and I don't know how to fix it. I know Cheryl has held a conversation with her, but it doesn't seem to be affecting our relationship so it can't have been too bad. If my boss had pissed off my fiancé, I would know. I'd know because Eliza cannot keep her anger inside where Cheryl is concerned. Not that I would ever expect her to, though. She knows I'm done with Cheryl interfering so she knows she can tell me if something is bothering her. Glancing around the store, it looks like I'm pretty much done for the day and now I can finally breathe. The coming and going of fans do tire me out, but I don't mind. It's all a part of the job, right? It all comes with writing bestselling novels.

"I'm outta here, okay?" Glancing up when I find Cheryl peering over me, she gives me a nod and backs away a little. "You'll contact me tonight with the details for Friday?" I have tomorrow off and I plan to do nothing whatsoever. Well, nothing other than being with Eliza. If she wants to take a look around the city or if she wants to hang at the hotel…both are perfectly fine with me.

"Sure." She agrees. "Wanna grab a drink before you head off?"

"I'd love to but I need to get back." I know she is trying to be my boss again but I don't feel like I can trust her anymore. I don't feel like we are back at that stage yet.

"Right, yeah." She shoves her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and shrugs. "Eliza is waiting, right?"

"Yeah." I smile. "She's just been a little weird lately…"

"How so?" My boss furrows her brow.

"Just…not getting involved in anything that includes the tour or my book." I grab my purse and pull it up onto my shoulder. "Maybe the hopping from city to city has taken it out of her, I don't know."

"Maybe we should all meet for drinks tomorrow night?" She suggests. "You know, forget all about work for the evening?"

"I'm not sure." I give her an awkward glance. "I'll run it by her, okay?"

"That's all I ask." She nods. "Did you want me to walk with you, or?" We are all staying at the same hotel but we usually head back separately. It's just easier that way. Nobody can accuse or suggest or cause problems if we don't walk together. I know Cheryl struggles to keep her thoughts to herself but I feel like she may be in a good mood this afternoon so I'll try it. "Arizona?"

"Yeah, okay." I agree. "If you're headed back now?"

"I am." Heading for the exit of the bookstore I've spent most of the afternoon at, we both step out onto the sidewalk and fall into a steady pace. "You know, uh…I'd like to apologize to Eliza if you think she will go for it?"

"Apologise for what?" I ask.

"My behavior." Cheryl clears her throat. "In the past few months."

"I appreciate that but don't do it if you don't mean it, Cheryl." I give her a knowing look. "She doesn't need or want your apologies so it would be wasted on her…"

"I do mean it." She gives me a sad smile. "I know I've never given her a reason to like me but I can see how much you guys love each other and I guess it's time for me to make more of an effort if I'm ever going to keep you…"

"Keep me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"At the company." She quickly replies. "For the foreseeable…future projects."

"Right." I narrow my eyes before focusing back on the sidewalk in front of me. "Then I guess apologizing would be okay." _I don't know why she is behaving this way but it certainly makes me feel a little more comfortable. A little less anxious about what each day may bring._ "Just…don't expect her to be friendly with you right away. She has no reason to trust you, Cheryl."

"I know and I get that." She sighs. "Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me lately."

"Me neither." I breathe out. "I'll bring up your plans with Eliza this evening and we will go from there, okay?" Rounding the corner, our hotel is in sight and I cannot wait to get back and see my fiancé. I swear she is like my oxygen. When she isn't with me, I feel helpless. I feel less safe and secure.

"That would be great." She smiles. "You go on ahead, I'm headed to the bar across the street for a little while."

"Sure, enjoy your evening." Throwing her a wave, she crosses the street and I find myself alone and with my own thoughts. Maybe Eliza will go for Cheryl's suggestion but I'm not holding my breath. I also wouldn't blame her if she refused to meet with my boss tomorrow night. Eliza doesn't owe her a single thing and I think we all know that. Whatever my fiancé decides, I'll be right behind her. Just like I always am. So long as we are okay, that is all I care about. Cheryl is simply my boss and no amount of groveling will truly get us back to the relationship we had before Eliza arrived. A simple business relationship. One where I felt valued and looked after. Now, I just feel like I'm caught in the middle of whatever the hell has gone on between them.

 _I guess time will tell…_

* * *

I've been back at our hotel room for a little over thirty minutes and Eliza isn't here. I've just taken a quick shower with the hope that she would have arrived by now, but she hasn't. She hasn't and I'm only missing her more than I was as I headed up the street a little while ago. I really don't know what is going on with her, but it's been two weeks since she stopped joining me at the bookstore and I'm over it now. I'm over it and I want to know what is going on. I'm not mad or pissed at her for choosing not to join me but I at least expect an explanation. I at least deserve something to put my mind at ease. My cell in my hands, I toy with it a moment longer before pulling up a new message.

 ** _Where are you? Az x_**

 ** _Just leaving a bar a few blocks away. E x_**

 ** _You've been out drinking? You don't even drink…._**

 ** _Hey, I'm on vacation. E x_**

 ** _Sure, yeah. See you whenever. Az x_**

Dropping my cell on the bed, I take a seat on the edge and furrow my brow. Why the hell has she been out drinking before dinner when she doesn't usually allow a drop past her lips? In the time I've known her, she has probably enjoyed an entire bottle overall. She doesn't drink, it's as simple as that. Shaking my head, I stand and approach the window. It looks like it's going to be a pleasant evening but I'm not sure the same can be said for inside this hotel room. I'm really not. Realising that I'm beginning to let my thoughts get away with me, I pace the floor and try to think up anything that I could have done wrong. I know I haven't but I'm still trying to figure something out. Anything that will explain my fiancé's behavior.

The sound of a key card sliding down the lock, the door beeps and Eliza heads inside. She has one of her best smiles on her face and honestly, I don't even know how to take her mood anymore. One minute she is being weird about my tour and not spending time with me during it, and the next she is out drinking in the middle of the day and coming back crazy happy. I can handle both moods…just not at the same time. "Good day?" I ask.

"The best." She nods as she drops her purse to the floor. "You?"

"Same as usual." I shrug. "Although, I'm sure you don't need to hear about it."

"Of course, I do." She drops down onto the bed before sitting up on her elbows. "Tell me…"

"No, that's okay." I wave her off. "If you wanted to know how my day had been, you would have contacted me at some point. Better yet…you would have been there with me."

"Okay, what does that even mean?" She furrows her brow and she genuinely looks lost right now. _How can she not see her behavior?_ "Arizona?"

"Do you want to be here with me?" I ask. "This tour. This hotel room. Just…do you want it or do you want to go home to New York and I'll see you in a few months?"

"Uh…"

"Eliza, stop fucking around and tell me." Sitting up, she gives me an incredulous look and scoffs. "What?"

"Why are you speaking to me like that?" She raises her eyebrow. "What's your problem?"

"My problem is that I don't feel like you want to be here." I sigh. "You aren't interested in any of this and I don't know what I've done wrong."

"Why do you assume you've done something wrong?" She furrows her brow.

"Because I have no other explanation for the lack of time we are spending together," I say honestly. "I barely see you. You never stop by the stores to check on things. You just…you're nonexistent in my life right now and I don't like it."

"Come here…" She holds out her hand to me and I think about it for a moment. "Please?" Taking her hand in my own, I can feel my emotions getting the better of me but I don't want to do this. I don't want to get upset and have her reassure me for it to come to nothing. I'm tired of that right now. "You haven't done anything wrong." She pulls me down into her lap. "You are perfect and beautiful and just amazing…"

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not." She shrugs. "I'm just allowing you to get on with your job. Just…doing your thing."

"Why can't you be there whilst I do that?" I ask. "I don't expect you to stand around all day, every day…but once in a while would be nice. You know, a little support from you?"

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Her thumb runs over my knuckles. "It wasn't my intention to make you feel that way."

"Well, you have." I sigh. "I feel like I'm going to come back here one day and you've left."

"That isn't going to happen." She gives me a sad smile. "I want to be here with you. I just don't want to suffocate you. You need space to be awesome and that is what I'm trying to do."

"And if I told you I didn't want that?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Then I would try harder…" She smiles as she presses a kiss to the back of my hand.

"Then please…try harder. I'm going out of my freaking mind most days."

"I'm sorry." She pulls me into a hug. "I really was just doing my own thing."

"But _I'm_ supposed to be your thing, Eliza." I know she has apologized but I still believe there is more to it than this. "I'm the woman you are going to marry and I need you to try harder."

"I will, I promise." She gives me a look of determination and a small smile curls on my mouth. "I'm sorry and I love you…"

"I love you, too." Pulling me tighter against her, she lies us both down on the bed and I feel a little more settled. "I don't want you to leave me to do my own thing…"

"Okay." She turns her head and presses her lips to my own. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, but I need you to be here with me, Eliza…for all of it." I study her face. "You are the reason I'm even doing this tour, so I need you to be all in with me."

"I am." She nods. "I've kinda missed you these past two weeks when you've been working."

"So, why didn't you just come along and see me?" I furrow my brow. "You know I wanted you with me."

"Cheryl thought it would be best if I gave you some space to work." _I knew it._ She cannot help herself. That fucking woman infuriates me. "We spoke last week and she just asked that I supported you from afar, so that is what I was doing."

"You did what she asked?"

"She's your boss, Arizona. She was already pissed at me even being here."

"And when has that ever stopped you from doing anything?" I ask. "You don't usually care what she has to say…"

"I know but I was trying to create as little problems as possible." She admits. "I wasn't offended or mad at her for what she said…I kinda got it."

"What exactly did you get?"

"That you need to do this alone." She shrugs. "You know, all of the praise and all of the congratulations."

"But I wanted you with me…and you let her get in the way of that." I'm so mad at Cheryl but I'm mad at Eliza for doing what my boss asked. She isn't that person. She doesn't usually take shit from anyone. "Don't ever do that again, Eliza."

"I won't." She sighs. "I just thought I was doing what was best for you…"

"It all makes sense now…" I sit up and run my fingers through my hair. "She wants us to go for drinks with her tomorrow night."

"Why?" Eliza snorts. "So she can complain about something else that she doesn't like?"

"N-No." I shake my head. "She said she wanted to apologize to you for her behavior over the past few months."

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to believe that?" She laughs. "I wouldn't trust that woman…ever."

"I know and I told her that." I agree. "I said I'd run it by you anyway."

"You know what?" She sits up and stands. "We will meet her for drinks. We will meet her and I'll show her exactly the person that I am."

"Y-Yeah?" My smile widens. "You wanna do that?"

"Damn fucking right I do." She nods. "I'll show her exactly how good we are for each other. How she could never make you feel how I do…"

"Well, you don't need to do that." I furrow my brow. "But if you want to meet her, then we will."

"Tell her it's on." She demands. "Tell that lonely and desperate bitch that we want to share drinks with her."

"Wow, okay." I laugh. "So long as you don't plan on ripping her head off?"

"I don't need to." She smirks as she pushes me back down on the bed and straddles my legs. "I'll kill her with kindness." Not only do I love my fiancé simply for the person that she is, but I love her for this side, too. The protective side. The hot and feisty side. It always leaves me a little hot under the collar and I'm not sure that will ever change. I'm not sure Eliza will ever _not_ have this effect on me.

 _Yeah, she makes me crazy…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	72. Chapter 72

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Two

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Ugh, I look freaking hot._ Cheryl may think that she can fuck me over but I'm not stupid. I know tonight is going to involve those looks from her. The look of disgust. The look of not being good enough. The look that says 'you couldn't love Arizona like I can'. All the usual behavior from her, but this time…I don't care. This time…I'm not interested and I'm not worried. Arizona has made it more than clear about how she feels for her boss and I don't have one single worry where our relationship is concerned. I haven't done for a long long time. I know I messed up by giving my fiancé space, but I genuinely thought it was for the best. Best for her career and best for her image. She doesn't need the woman in her life watching her from the other side of the room. She doesn't need it…but she _wants_ it. She wants me by her side. I understand that now. I understand that by giving her space, she thought I didn't want to be here. That couldn't be further from the truth and I think she knows that. I think she knows that I was just backing away a little, but it wasn't because of how I felt about her or her career. I'm so proud of everything she has achieved and I thought she knew that. I thought she knew how head over heels in love I am with both her _and_ her writing. It's no secret and I've never claimed it to be. I guess I just allowed my own behavior to get away in the moment and before long, I didn't realize what I was doing. She knows I love and support her and I hope tonight she can see that. _So long as that whore doesn't fuck this up for us, anyway._

Fixing my tight deep green dress around my body, it hugs my figure in every place imaginable. I may not have been working out lately, but yeah…I still look better than Cheryl ever could. I still look incredible and I'm not even going to deny that. I may have to pick Arizona's eyes up off of the floor when I step out of this bathroom, but I'm prepared to take that risk. My woman knows what she likes, and that is me…dressed like this and for her eyes only. I mean, since I met Arizona, I've never checked another woman out. I don't need to and I never will. My gorgeous blonde makes my world spin and that is all I'll ever need in my life. She is the only woman I could ever imagine in my bed. Our bed. Our life. _God, I'm so crazy in love that I'm not sure it's real._

Checking myself one final time, I'm more than satisfied with what I see and I pull the bathroom door open. Arizona has her back to me but I can already see how amazing she looks. My favorite black dress tight around her body, I can feel myself salivating just watching her fix her bracelet to her wrist. "How do I look?" I ask, deciding to break our silence.

"H-Holy mother…" Her eyes widening as she turns to face me, my hair falls perfectly around my shoulders and down my back. "Wow, uh…" Shaking her head, she closes her eyes and breathes deep through her nose. "Eliza…"

"Mm?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Are you sure we can't just stay h-here tonight?" She is struggling to even look at me right now but that is the reaction I was aiming for. The reaction that tells me she won't be able to keep her hands off of me all night. "I mean, I'm not sure I want anyone else to see you looking so freaking incredible."

"So, it looks okay then?" I smile.

"Okay?" She chokes on her words. "Baby, okay is not a word I would use to describe you right now."

"Oh." I take my bottom lip between my teeth as I watch her shift uncomfortably, evidently squeezing her thighs together. "Should we head out?"

"Mm, just give me a minute." She looks up to the heavens and shakes her head ever so slightly.

"You good over there?"

"No." She approaches me. "Something tells me I'm about to have an aneurysm."

"Now…" I wrap my arm around her waist. "That wouldn't be a good start to our night, would it?"

"N-No." She stutters and I know my perfume is just about knocking her off of her feet right now.

"Maybe I should kiss you and make it all better?" I suggest.

"Mm, I think that could work." She clears her throat, her eyes switching from my own to my lips. "Yeah, that could definitely work…fuck."

Pressing my lips to her own, she moans into my mouth and it sends a bolt of electricity straight to my core. I mean, I don't know what to expect from this evening, but I know that Arizona will be coming hard beneath me by the end of it. I've never been more certain of anything in my life as I am of that right now. "You think maybe you can control yourself?"

"No, I can't say I can control myself." Her hand trailing down my back and gripping my ass, she pulls me in closer and her hips grind against my own. "Sorry, I just…shit."

"Come on, pretty lady…" I take her bottom lip between my teeth. "Time to show this city who you belong to…" We've arranged to meet Cheryl at one of the local ladies bars and with any luck, I'll have her leaving with someone who can help take her mind off of my fiancé. She may be meeting us with an apology in mind, but I'm not overly hopeful of that. I certainly don't expect it from her, whether she has suggested it or not. She isn't that kind of woman. She isn't someone who is genuine and honest. Basically, she's full of shit and I see right through her time and time again. She may have tried to ruin us in the past…more than once, but she won't fool me again. She won't even get close. I have a woman…a fiancé, to protect. I have a life and a love that I need to secure once and for all. The sooner that desperate bitch sees it, the better for everyone concerned. Arizona doesn't need her and her scheming...her games. She needs love. Complete earth-shattering, heart-pounding love. A love I know only _I_ can give her. A love that totally belongs to us. "You ready?" I smirk against her mouth.

"Ready to scream your name…yes." She presses her forehead against my own. "Anything else…I'm not so sure."

* * *

"There she is." Pointing in the direction of Arizona's boss, my fiancé tightens her grip on my hand and moves through the crowd on the dance floor. I won't lie, I don't really want to be here right now but that has nothing to do with the fact that Cheryl is joining us. I just want to be back at the hotel with Arizona. My plan to look hot for her may have backfired since she hasn't kept her hands off of me. I mean, I'm all for a little teasing, but she's driving me crazy and I only have myself to blame for that. _Idiot!_

"You okay?" Arizona turns back to face me and her baby blues shine brighter than ever. "You're sure you want to be here?"

"I'm fine." I give her a reassuring smile. "This could be a great evening…"

"For us, yeah." She agrees. "I'm not so sure about Cheryl, though."

"Well, if she keeps her opinions to herself and she doesn't piss me off, she could have a great night too." I shrug. "Maybe if she knew that politeness wasn't a bad thing, she wouldn't have enemies."

"Mm, she isn't that kind of person." We slow our pace as we reach our table. "I think she thrives off of having enemies."

"Yeah, well if she keeps it up…she will thrive off of my foot being so far up her ass that she's choking on it."

"You have such a way with words." My fiancé laughs. "But I wouldn't have you any other way." Pulling me into her body, her arm wraps around my waist and Cheryl watching us as we approach her. "Let's get this over and done with." Arizona sighs.

"Ladies…" Cheryl stands and pulls Arizona into a hug, followed by one for me. _Okay, not what I expected._ Clearing my throat as we both create a little distance between us, I glance at Arizona and she shrugs. "I wasn't sure what you were drinking so just picked a few bottles of wine out."

"Sounds good to me." I smile as I take a seat facing my fiancé's boss. "I'll take a glass of red."

"Sure." Cheryl gives me a full smile. "Same for you, Arizona?"

"Yes, thank you." She nods. "Busy day?"

"Nope." Cheryl shakes her head. "And it's been pretty good doing nothing. It's been a long time…"

"You know, you should take time off more often." I cut in. "Amazing what a little relaxation can do for you." I hate this woman, but my kindness is going to slowly but surely end her. End this. She wants me to have something smart to say. She wants me to retaliate. If I don't give her anything, she has nothing to complain about. "We relax whenever we can, right baby?" I lean in and press a kiss below Arizona's ear and I can feel her smiling.

"We do." She agrees as she leans into my kiss, a low hum of appreciation rumbling in her throat. "Always."

"Maybe I should take time out more often." Cheryl agrees as she clears her throat. "The office gets crazy busy. As you know, Arizona…"

"I do know, but there is nothing stopping you from taking a week off. Vacation or whatever." My fiancé shrugs as she takes her wine glass between her lips. My eyes focusing on them, my body is aching to feel them on my skin. Against my own. "And since I don't have another signing until mid next week after tomorrow, you have plenty of time to do something for yourself."

"Anything you guys can recommend?" Cheryl switches her gaze between us both. _Oh, I don't think she wants to hear my suggestions. They're either pure filth or sarcasm._ "Maybe a spa day?"

"Sounds perfect." I give her a fake smile. "Where are we headed next?" I furrow my brow.

"California." She states.

"Well, I'm sure there is plenty to do and see in California." I nod. "It's my hometown."

"Really?" Cheryl perks up, suddenly seeming overly interested. "I didn't know that."

"Why would you?" I furrow my brow, my hand slipping to Arizona's thigh. "We haven't exactly held a conversation with each other, have we?"

"No." She drops her gaze and toys with the stem of her wine glass. "And that is my fault." She sighs. "I'm sorry…"

"That's okay." I sit back in my seat, my fingertips ghosting up and down Arizona's silky smooth skin. _Fuck, I can feel her squeezing her thighs together._ "We can't all get along, right?"

"I guess not, but I'd like to." She lifts her head a little and I study her face. I hate this. I hate not knowing if she is being honest or not. I hate that I have to watch my back with her. If I let her in, she could hurt me. Hurt us. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk it all for her. I'm really not. "If you think that could happen?"

"Sure, why not." I clear my throat. "I guess we all deserve _another_ chance."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens a little. "I just think we got off on the wrong foot." _I don't._ I've never given this woman a reason to hate me but she did. She did that all by herself and I'm not prepared for her to see this as a mutual thing. I have nothing to apologize for so if she's waiting, she will be waiting one hell of a long time. "Don't you think?"

"Oh, I'm not so sure." Arizona places her hand over my own and gives it a squeeze. "I mean, I'm not aware of anything I've done wrong, so?"

"N-No, I guess not." She gives me a sad smile, a blush creeping up her neck. "This was all on me." She holds up her hands. _Yeah, it was totally on you. Fucking bitch._ Arizona can sense my anger building but her hand on my own is keeping me grounded right now. Given half the chance I'd climb this table right now but that isn't going to help anyone. "I am sorry, Eliza."

"Yeah." I nod. "Okay."

"I really need to use the bathroom…" Arizona leans over and lowers her tone. "But I don't want to leave you two alone."

"I'll be fine." I press a kiss below her ear. "I won't do anything stupid."

"Promise?" She gives me a knowing look.

"I promise." Excusing herself from the table, Arizona disappears towards the back of the club and I'm left sitting with the one woman I cannot bear to even look at some days. I know she wants to say something, but I don't really want to hear it. I don't believe her apology for one second and I think she knows that. "What?" I focus my eyes on her.

"You make her happy…"

"Damn right I do." I scoff. "Did you really think she would leave me and go back to _you?_ " Sure, she is trying to put it all in the past, or that is what she wants me to believe, but she isn't getting off lightly with this. If we become friends in the future, whatever…but I'm not about to bend over backward to make her happy. No way.

"Eliza, I want us to forget all about this." She gives me a look that tells me she's being honest but my guard is up high where Cheryl is concerned. "I know I don't deserve for you to forgive me, but I am sorry for the things I said to you."

"Which time?" I raise an eyebrow. "The time you tried to tell me you'd slept with my fiancé or the time you called me a whore?"

"Both." She sighs. "I just…I'm having a bad time right now. I don't expect you to care, and I'd never ask you to, but I'm not in a good place. I'm trying to be better and I'm so sorry for how I've behaved, Eliza."

"Sure you are." I sip my wine and study her face. "Look, let's just cut the bullshit, yeah?"

"O-Okay…" Cheryl furrows her brow.

"You don't like me and that is fine." I shrug. "You are of _zero_ interest to me and you never will be, Cheryl. I appreciate you are trying to do whatever it is you are trying to do right now, but I won't be made to look a fool ." I sit forward, my elbows resting on the table. "Arizona is my priority. She is my life. You will never ruin us again and I can promise you that right now. Whatever games you are trying to play, you're wasting your time."

"I'm not playing games…I'm apologizing."

"Maybe, but I'm warning you…you fuck around again and I swear I'll come at you like one hell of a fucking hurricane." The skin of my face beginning to heat a little, I release a breath and try to calm myself. I don't need to get angry but this woman makes it painfully hard not to. "You do your job and I'll do mine. If you can do that, we will get along perfectly."

"I know you hate me but I'm trying, Eliza." She doesn't once lose my eyes. "Arizona deserves better than us fighting. Surely we both agree on that."

"She does deserve better." I agree. "But my conscience is clear. I'm not the one who hurt her, you are."

"Right, yeah." She sighs. "I'm her boss and that is where it ends."

"Mm, damn right it does." I give her my best fake smile. "Thanks for the apology, but you've got one hell of a way to go before I can even imagine trusting you."

"I get that." She agrees.

"Now, my _fiancé_ is heading back this way and I don't think she needs to know anything about the conversation we have just had, do you?"

"N-No." She shakes her head, her body language mirroring that of a child who has been told off. "She doesn't need to know about it."

"Good." I put on my best smile for my fiancé. "Hey, beautiful." Arizona looks relieved to find Cheryl still in one piece but I wouldn't ever do anything to make her look bad. She has a reputation on the line and she doesn't need my behavior interfering with her brilliance. I'd never forgive myself. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She is about to drop down into her seat but I stop her.

"How about a dance, huh?" Narrowing her eyes, she leans down and brings her lips up to my ear.

"That usually involves you wearing very little and in my lap…" Her words and her voice are killing me right now but I have patience. A quality Arizona doesn't often possess when we're teasing.

"Mm, all in good time…" I pull back and smirk. "All in good time."

 _Time to tease her like never before…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	73. Chapter 73

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Three

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

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Eliza is looking hotter than ever before tonight and right now, I have her ass grinding back against me. I'm trying to control myself but it's not happening. No matter what I do or what I think about…I'm still seeing myself beneath her. I'm still seeing her naked body pressed against my own as she moans against my lips. Yeah, she's killing me but it's totally worth it. It will _always_ be worth it. She can work me up like nobody else in this world and she knows exactly what she is doing to me right now. She knows I'm going out of my mind but she's giving me nothing. At least, nothing I can work with in this moment. Do I want to take her in front of this entire club? Of course, I do. I want to drag her to the floor right now and strip her gorgeous dress from her body. I can't do that, though…and she knows it. She knows that I have no self control but I think she suspects I'd have caved by now. I think she suspects I'd have dragged her from this club a long time ago. Problem is, I'm enjoying myself too much. I'm enjoying myself way more than I care to admit. To both Eliza _and_ myself. She thinks that teasing and playing games will get her what she wants, but that isn't happening. At least, not yet. If she wants to work me up like this, then I can play that game, too. I can play it right back.

Shifting her hair from one shoulder to the other, she glances back at me and gives me one of her adorable smiles. My hands working her thighs, she drops her head back against my shoulder and her eyes close. I've noticed many women checking out my fiancé tonight and yeah…I am making sure they know she is taken. If I have to behave this way, that is fine by me. My woman is taken and she always will be. "You have any idea how hot you look tonight?" I drop my head a little and take her earlobe between my teeth. "That dress looks amazing on you…"

"Mm, all for you." She moans as I suck on her pulse point. "And you are welcome to remove it whenever you like…"

"Oh, I know," I smirk against her neck. "All in good time, if I remember right?"

"I think that time has come." She tilts her head a little, allowing me better access to her neck. "Don't you?"

"Not yet…" I whisper. "I'm not sure you're wet enough for me."

"Wanna test that out?" She turns in my arms and slips her thigh between my legs. It's taking everything within me not to grind down against her but she knows that. Of course, she does. "You wanna know just how wet I am for you, Arizona?"

"Maybe in a little while…" I give her a sweet smile. "I'm enjoying dancing with you right now."

"Ugh…" She drops her head to my shoulder. "You're giving me nothing…"

"I know, but you love it." My breath washes over her ear. "You love everything about this."

"But I need you…" She moans as my fingertips work the back of her neck. "You know I do…"

"Tell me what you need." Her eyes find mine and they're dark. Really dark. "I wanna know all about the things going on inside your head right now…"

"You know exactly what is going on inside my head…" She takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "How hard I want to take you…" Her lips are just millimeters from my own. "How deep I want to be inside of you."

"Mm, I do want that." I close my eyes. "I want to shake beneath you, over and over again."

"Yeah?" She takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "I'll bet you taste fucking amazing right now."

"Only for you…" I moan as she grips my ass and pulls me in closer, my sex brushing her naked thigh. "F-Fuck…"

"You need more, huh?" Her smirk telling me that she planned this all along, she is once again winning and I'm a complete failure when it comes to games with her. "Maybe I should take you to the bathroom right now…"

"F-For what?" I ask, breathlessly.

"You know…clean you up a little." Narrowing her eyes, I'm trying to decide if she is being serious right now. I don't believe our relationship requires us to use public restrooms but I'm not sure I can hang on for much longer. I'm so wet that I'm not sure I can even move right now. "Take away a little of that desperation…"

"Mm, I'd like that." I smile into a kiss.

"And you can do it silently?" She raises her eyebrow. "I need silence from you if I'm going to fuck you good, Arizona."

"I-I can try." I moan as her hand slips to my thigh. "F-For you…I can try."

"Trying isn't good enough, beautiful." She gives me a sad smile. "If I have to gag you, I will."

"Fuck, Eliza." My breath catching as she dips her hand beneath my dress, she glances around and is satisfied to find everyone else involved in their own business. "What the hell are you doing to me?"

"You want it from behind?" Her words swirling around in my head, I'm barely breathing right now. "You want me to sink deep inside of you while you brace yourself against the door?"

"Y-Yes…" _Fuck, I could come right now._

"Mm, you'd like that, huh?" She tugs on her lip. "Filling you and fucking you good…"

"W-We shouldn't." My eyes close.

"Oh, but we really should." Her voice low and drawing me closer, I find myself grinding against her thigh and no matter how much we should stop this, we can't. _I_ can't. "You know you want me inside of you, Arizona…" Her breath washes over my ear and my body shudders.

"So much…" My mouth falling open a little, she brushes her thumb across my bottom lip and it sends a bolt of electricity straight to my core. Straight to the place I'm trying to _not_ think about right now. "Eliza…"

"What do you need?" She leans in painfully close. "Huh?"

"Y-You…" _I can't take this any longer._ "I need you now." Pulling her through the crowd, I almost lose my footing but I save myself with a nearby wall. This totally isn't how I saw this evening going, but I'm way past being ready for my fiancé. I was ready for her the moment she stepped out of the hotel room this evening. "In here…" Pushing her into an empty stall, I kick the door shut with my foot and she smirks as she turns to face me.

"I knew I'd get you in here eventually…" Turning me and pressing my body against the door, her hands are all over me but I'm loving it. Every movement, every breath…she's making me insane and I wouldn't have this with anyone else. I know that with complete certainty. "I knew you couldn't control yourself…"

"Seems like you're the one with no control, Eliza…" I know I'm the one pressed against the door, but she is just as bad as me. She could have stopped this. She could have told me no…but she didn't. She didn't and it tells me that she desperately needs my body. After all, it does belong to her.

"Is that so?" My panties disappear from my body. Her fingertips connect with pure arousal and I think she is a little surprised by it. "F-Fuck…" Her lips working my shoulder, she sinks her teeth into my skin and suddenly pushes two fingers inside of me. "Oh god, that's fucking hot." She moans as she pushes deeper. "Shit…"

"Y-You like that?" My eyes close and I allow the sensations she is creating to take over my body completely.

"Quiet." She demands as she adds a third finger. "Quiet while I fuck you, Arizona." _Okay, that's hot._ This is my favorite side of my fiancé. Demanding. Controlling. Soaked for me. I know she is, I can feel how she is squirming against me. "Fuck, this is all for me…"

"Mm…" A smirk settles on my lips and she tugs on my earlobe.

"Spread a little more." Doing as she asks, she bends my body slightly and her pace picks up. "You've no idea how fucking good you feel…" Her own breath catching as she watches her fingers disappear deep inside of me, I'm not sure my fiancé can hold on. _Fuck, I haven't even touched her._ That only shows exactly what I do to her. She is close to the edge and my hands haven't done anything. Nothing. "I-I need…" Suddenly slipping out of me, I glance over my shoulder and watch as she sucks her fingers into her mouth. "Mm, fuck I needed to taste you."

"Oh, god." My eyes closed as I listen to her low moans, she slips back inside of me and my body jolts forward. My palms now flat on the back of the door, she curls her fingers and sends my body into overdrive. "Fuck, I-I…Eliza, I'm s-so close…" Her hand suddenly covering my mouth, it only heightens my arousal and her pace picks up. Fucking me hard and fast, she knows I love this. She knows that she is the only woman in the world who could get this reaction from me.

"You can come now, beautiful." Her permission sending me over the edge, my legs shake and my body is on fire. Every nerve. Every single piece of me. All of it feels like it's about to go up in flames. "Mm, just like that." She sinks her teeth into my shoulder. "Fuck, I love it when you come hard for me." My eyes slamming shut, I can feel my arousal coating my thighs. "I could watch you like this forever." Slowing her pace, she drops her hand from my mouth and it grazes the front of my thigh before I suddenly feel two fingers pressing against my swollen clit.

"Shit…" Trembling, I don't know how I'm still standing. I feel like I have nothing left inside of me but I know that given half the chance, we will be going all night. When Eliza is in this kind of mood, that's how it usually goes. She takes me over and over and over again and she knows I'll give that to her whenever she wants it. Nobody has ever wanted me the way she does, so yeah…anything she wants from me, she has. She knows that. It is all hers.

"Stand up, baby." Her arms wrapping around my waist, my body relaxes against the wall of the stall and my eyes are still closed. If I open them, this will all be over and I just need this feeling to last that little bit longer. "You with me?" She presses kisses down my neck.

"Mm…" I give her the slightest nod. "Holy shit."

"You know there is plenty more where that came from." She smirks against my ear. "Another couple of hours and I'll have you begging me to stop back at the hotel."

"I-I don't doubt that…"

* * *

Okay, I'm a mess. Everything about me right now is a mess and I'm not sure I'll ever be the same again. Eliza has us sitting back with Cheryl and I know she is doing this for fun and games. I know, because I can see that look in my eyes every time I catch her staring. I know, because I can hear it in her voice as she leans over and whispers in my ear. Even the sound of 'can I get you another drink' is highly arousing coming from her mouth right now. I suggested heading back to the hotel but tonight she is really playing the game. Tonight…she is in control. _Damn it._ I couldn't control a situation like this if my life depended on it and she knows that is the case. She knows that no matter how hard I try, I crumble time and time again. I wish I wasn't so easy to read but Eliza knows me better than I know myself. She knows exactly how to get me going and exactly how to keep me on that edge. Just waiting…wondering.

"Do you guys have anything planned when we reach California?" Cheryl pulls me from my intense stare.

"N-No." I clear my throat. "Not yet, anyway."

"Figured we could stop by and visit my mom if we have time." Eliza shrugs. "I know it's last minute but she would love for me to just show up."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "Then we should totally make that happen."

"Awesome." My fiancé sits back in her seat, her gorgeous thighs now on display to me beneath the table. _I cant take this much longer._ "Can I get you another drink, Cheryl?" Eliza asks.

"Su-" Cut off when I clear my throat, I give my fiancé a knowing look and she furrows her brow.

"I figured we would head back soon…"

"Oh, uh…the night is only young, Arizona," Eliza smirks, her eyes telling me that this game isn't over. "We can stay for another bottle…or two."

"C-Can we?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah." She nods. "Cheryl could use the company, right?" She switches her gaze to my boss.

"I mean, I'm enjoying myself but if you need to get back, that's totally fine."

"No, we don't need to get back." Eliza shrugs before standing. "So, another what? Three bottles of red?"

"T-Three?" I almost screech. "I mean, that's a little much, don't you think?" _I may have to head back and take matters into my own hands soon._

"Nope." She disappears from the table and adds a little sway to her hips. My eyes burning through her back, Cheryl clears her throat and I can feel a blush creeping up my neck.

"Everything okay, Arizona?"

"S-Sure, yeah." I smile. "Just…a little tired."

"Yeah, it's been a busy couple of weeks for you." She sits back in her seat and toys with her wine glass. "You know, I am proud of everything you've achieved."

"Thanks."

"You worked your ass off and look at the end result…"

"Yeah, it's been hard but I think it's been worth it." I nod. "I wasn't sure it would ever actually happen but well, it did."

"I would never have kept that deal from you, I hope you know that." She studies my face and for once, I'm sensing some honesty from my boss. "I know what I did was wrong, but it always would have been there."

"Did you really want me to come back to you?" I ask, unsure of whether I want the answer.

"I guess in some way…yes." I appreciate her honesty. "But I know that I could never give you what Eliza does."

"And what is that?" I turn in my seat a little.

"Happiness." She smiles. "I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone looking at another woman the way you look at her."

"Thank you for backing off." I breathe out. "I didn't expect you to."

"I had to." She sips her wine. "I would have lost you in every way imaginable if I hadn't. I know your writing means the world to you, and I had to focus on that."

"And now?" I raise an eyebrow.

"And now I have to concentrate on myself…" She gives me a full smile. "Things are…happening in my life."

"Yeah?" I ask. "You've met someone?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "I don't have time for a relationship right now."

"O…kay." I wait for her to give me a little more but she doesn't speak. "So, these things that are happening?"

"I'm sick." She clears her throat. "The day before we left New York, I had some results back."

"Results?" I furrow my brow. "For what?"

"I have a tumor on my kidney…" I can see she is trying to be nonchalant but inside I know she is hurting. I may have had a bad time with Cheryl of late, but my heart hurts for her. No matter what we've been through, I wouldn't like to see her go through this alone.

"Y-You shouldn't be here." I shake my head. "You should be back home and seeking treatment."

"I leave next week." She smiles. "After California."

"Cheryl, you should leave now. You shouldn't be here when you have things going on…"

"You're my star, Arizona." She takes my hand in her own. "I had to be sure you were settled before I agreed to any treatment. I leave next week and I return home two days before everything starts."

"Um…" Eliza interrupts us and I find her glancing at our hands. _Okay, it's really not how it looks._ "Maybe you could take your hands off of my fiancé."

"Eliza, it's okay." Cheryl releases her grip and I stand. "We were just talking…"

"Didn't know talking involved touching." She scoffs as she sets the bottles of wine down on the table between us. "Crazy…"

"Just…sit down, please?" She gives me a look of uncertainty but I round the table and pull her body against my own. "We were just talking. She is leaving next week. She's sick."

"Mm, I know." She narrows her eyes. "Anyone that can't leave well enough alone is sick in my book."

"She has a tumor." I lower my tone. "Please, can we not do this right now?"

"S-She what?" My fiancé's eyes widen.

"Yeah…" I give her a sad smile. "Just give her five minutes and then we are leaving, okay?" I may have just received some pretty sad news from my boss, but my night is staying on track. I may be upset by her news, but she isn't the only thing in my life. She isn't my business. I can be her friend, but I need my own life too. I need my fiancé with her hands all over my body.

"Sure, yeah." Eliza agrees as she drops down into her seat. "Cheryl, I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what it is yet so I don't plan on dwelling on it." She sits up in her seat and pours a fresh glass of wine. "I just have to wait and whatever happens, I will deal with it then."

"Right, yeah." Eliza agrees.

"I was just explaining to Arizona that I had to see her right here before I left but I think she's got this, don't you?"

"For sure." My fiancé gives me a full smile. "I'll take care of her." I don't doubt that Eliza will take care of me for the rest of our tour, but I know Cheryl wants to be here. It's what she does. It's who she is. The amount of time we spent apart while she traveled with other writers hurt at the time, but now that I'm one of those writers, I get it. She is committed. She may have a terrible attitude and a questionable personality, but she does her job incredibly well and that is what I have to remember. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be in this position. If it wasn't for her…I'd be nothing.

"You'll be okay…" I give her a reassuring smile. "You've got this…whatever it is."

"Yeah, I have." She nods. "I'll drink to that." Reaching into her purse, she pulls out an envelope and slides it across the table to Eliza. "I believe this is yours…"

"What is it?" She furrows her brow.

"Just…it belongs to you and I should have given it back a long time ago." She runs her fingers through her hair. "Well, I never should have taken it from you…"

"What's going on?" I switch my gaze between them both.

"I'm sure Eliza can explain…" Cheryl stands. "I believe you ladies wanted to get back to the hotel so I will see you tomorrow, okay?"

"S-Sure." I nod. "And if you need anything, you know where I am…"

"Thanks." She squeezes my shoulder as she brushes past me. "Goodnight, Eliza."

"Goodnight." My gorgeous brunette gives my boss a genuine smile.

"Thanks for agreeing to this tonight." She replies. "I know I don't deserve anything from either of you, but it means a lot." Watching Cheryl walk away, I'm not sure what the hell has even happened tonight. It's been long though, I know that much.

"So, the envelope?" I turn my attention back to Eliza. "What is it?"

"It's the cheque I gave her when I went to her office that day." She shrugs. "You know...when she called me a whore?"

"Cheque?" I give her a look of confusion. "What cheque?"

"Can we not do this right now?" She asks, a pleading in her eyes. "I just want to take you back and worship you for the rest of the night."

"Mm, now you want to leave?" I smirk. "Figured you'd forgotten…"

"Forgotten?" She laughs. "How could I ever forget about you and that gorgeous body that is just begging to be taken by me…"

"Okay, enough." I squeeze my thighs together. "Get your ass back to the hotel before I fuck you in front of all these people…"

"You wouldn't." She feigns shock.

"No?" I stand. "I'm really not sure you should even test me on that…I don't know what could happen."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	74. Chapter 74

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Seventy-Four

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ELIZA'S POV

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We've just arrived back at our hotel room and honestly, I don't know how to feel about the evening we've just had. I mean, I went there with all intentions of giving it to Cheryl straight and in a way, I guess I did. Then she drops the bombshell that she has a tumor. Yeah, now I feel like a total bitch for calling her out on her shit. Now I feel like I could've handled it better. I still stand by my decision to claim what is mine, but had I known she was sick, I probably wouldn't have been so harsh. At least, not when we spent some time alone and I told her straight. I didn't know, though. I didn't and I guess I was right in what I said. Sure, she's ill but that doesn't excuse the fact that she's a bitch and she tried to ruin Arizona and I. She hasn't always been sick so she kinda can't use that as an excuse. It does make sense, though. When I first met Arizona, she didn't interfere. She wasn't really around. Then all of a sudden, she was there and she was creating problems for us. Maybe her body was in a bad place then, too. I don't know. I just feel a little bad right now and I'm not sure I can lie here with Arizona and pretend that everything is okay. I know we had all kinds of plans to come back here and make love until the early morning, but I know she is thinking hard right now, too. She's barely spoken two words to me and I'm beginning to wonder if she's mad at me. I'm beginning to wonder if she is angry at my behavior tonight. _I haven't done anything wrong, though._ I simply stood my ground and refused to be made a fool. I should probably explain the cheque, at least.

"Dress off." Her voice sending a shiver down my spine, Arizona's lips press against my shoulder blade. "Now!"

"Arizona…" I sigh. "I think we need to talk."

"Talk?" She scoffs. "If this is a part of the little game you've been playing all night…it won't work."

"It's not." I turn in her arms and she furrows her brow. "Are we just going to ignore what Cheryl said tonight?"

"I don't follow…"

"She's sick, Arizona. She's sick and I was a bitch to her."

"Hey…" She gives me a knowing look. "She may be sick but she's made our lives hell in the past."

"I know that but she is your ex. Your friend. Your boss."

"So?"

"So, did you want to talk about it?" I ask, a soft smile curling on my mouth. "I mean, you must feel something about it, no?"

"I do, but this is our night." She sighs as she drops down on the edge of the bed. "At least, it was supposed to be."

"I know that, but this is serious."

"For who?" She asks. "Us? Just an hour ago, you hated her. Why the change of heart?"

"I do still hate her," I say with certainty. "And I always will."

"So take off your dress and let me make love to you…" I know she is trying to continue what we started hours ago, but I'm not sure now is an appropriate time. I mean, I still have to explain the cheque to her. "Eliza?"

"Can we just sit for five minutes?" I ask, a pleading in my eyes. "You know I love you and you know I want you, but just five minutes…please?"

"Fine." She sighs. "You know, this isn't how I expect our night to go. Not at all."

"Me neither." I take her hand in my own. "The cheque." I clear my throat. "Before it comes back to bite me in the ass, I need to explain myself. I need to explain why she had it."

"Yeah, the cheque." Arizona furrows her brow. "What is _that_ about?"

"When she took the deal from you, you went to the office and she said she couldn't trust you. That she wasn't prepared to risk it financially…"

"Yeah…" She nods.

"I offered her the one point five," I admit. "From my attack."

"Why?" She gives me a look of confusion.

"Because if she knew that it was financially secure, she didn't have a reason to blow you off. She didn't have a reason to not go ahead with the deal."

"Y-You put your money behind me?" Her voice breaks. "You gave her money in return for the deal?"

"Well, in a way…yes." _Okay, this was a bad idea._ She's about to freak and it's my own fault. I just thought I was doing the right thing. "But I wasn't paying her off. I told her if you didn't back out again, she was to return the cheque. If you did disappear…she had my money to cover anything she had already risked for you."

"You put your money behind me…" She repeats her words.

"Arizona, I know you are mad but I did it because I needed to get that deal back for you." I tighten my grip on her hands. "I did it because I knew how much your writing means to you and I couldn't see it being torn away. Not after I'd watched you work your ass off for it." Shaking her hand from my grip, she stands and I drop my head. "Please don't hate me…"

"You did that for me." Gripping my jaw, she lifts my head and my eyes find her own. "You knew I wouldn't let you down…"

"It wasn't about you not letting me down," I say. "I don't care about the money. I knew Cheryl couldn't be trusted so I gave it to her hoping that she would stop being an asshole and we could just get on with our lives…and your career."

"Yeah…" She breathes out.

"I always knew you could do it and I always knew that you wouldn't let her come between us, or between you and your job." I give her a small smile, unsure of her mood right now. "I knew that cheque would be returned to me because I knew you could do this. I knew you _would_ do this."

"I love you…" She straddles my legs and pushes my body down on the bed. "I love you and you are amazing."

"Y-You're not mad?" I stutter as she pulls her dress up and over her body. "I mean, how can you not be mad?"

"Because you were doing what you thought was best." Her bra falling off her shoulders, my throat is suddenly dry and my center is completely soaked for her. "You had my back, and that means the world to me, Eliza…" Dipping her head, she captures my lips as her hips slowly but surely grind against my own. "Now, where were we?" She smirks against my mouth.

"Mm, I'm pretty sure you were threatening to fuck me back at the club…" Her lips trail my neck as I grip her back.

"Threatening?" She pulls back, her eyes darker than before. "Oh, that was a promise, beautiful…"

* * *

"S-Shit…" Feeling my fiancé slam deep inside of me, my body is spent. My mind is dying. Everything about this evening has me completely done for. It's four in the morning and yeah, I've worked Arizona up so bad tonight that she hasn't let up once. She has returned the favor over and over and _over_. "Fuck, right there." Curling her fingers inside of me, my upper body drops to the mattress and my knees tremble.

"You love this, huh?" She drops light kisses along my lower back. "Being fucked hard…"

"Y-Yes." I gasp as she rolls her fingers over my clit. I swear I'm about to die, but I'm not concerned. If I know that Arizona was the last person to ever make me feel this way, I could die happy. Right here. Right now. "Oh god…" Her fingers working their magic, I sink back against them and a low moan rumbles in my fiancé's throat. "You love watching me…" I groan as my walls squeeze her tight. "I know you do…"

"Mm, I definitely do." She slips another finger inside of me and fills me incredibly well. "It's my favorite view…"

"You've been desperate for this all night, huh?" Massaging my walls, my thighs tremble but it feels too good to let go. Her working my body feels incredible.

"I'm desperate for you from the moment I wake, Eliza."

"Yeah?" I glance back over my shoulder and her eyes find mine. "So, why don't you fuck me how you know I want to be fucked?"

"God, you've no idea what I want to do to you…" Her own breathing labored, she slips a third finger inside of me and all breath leaves my body. "Mm, that's fucking hot." She forces herself deeper. "How you just take me completely."

"Baby, I need to come…" My head dropping between my shoulders, my own hand grazes my thigh and my breath catches in my throat as I press my fingertips against my aching clit. "Fuck, I really need to come."

"Yeah?" Her voice low and raspy, I simply nod and apply a little more pressure to the throbbing bud. "You wanna come for me?"

"Oh, fuck." Her words pushing me closer to the edge, she slams into me deep and my body falls forward. "Y-Yes, fuck…right there." Her thrusts never lessening, Arizona's own moans are only adding to the intense arousal between my legs. "D-Don't stop." My mouth falling open, I roll my fingertips over my clit and my hand stills, my body stiffening. _I can't take anymore. I can't go again…_

"Fuck, that feels good." Her lips pressing against my ass, a low moan rumbles in her throat and my upper body falls onto the bed beneath me. "You feel so fucking good, Eliza."

"Best you ever had…" It's not a question but more of a statement. "And I always will be."

"Y-Yes…" Arizona's breathing begins to slow a little. "You will always be my only one, Eliza." Pulling my body up and against her, my back relaxes against my fiancé and her hands settle on my stomach, my chest still heaving. "Never worry about that."

"I don't." My eyes close as her fingertips work the skin of my stomach. "I know I've got you."

"Every minute of the day." She whispers as her lips hover over my ear. "Every minute…"

"I love you." A smile settling on my face, my head drops back on Arizona's shoulder and everything feels incredibly perfect right now. I know things happened tonight that we didn't expect, but we've handled it. The cheque and my reasons…I figured she would hit the roof. She didn't, though. She didn't and that shows how far we have come in our relationship. It was never about the money. I just wanted her deal back for her and if that was how it had to be done, then so be it.

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Wake up, beautiful…" My lips pressing below my fiancé's ear, a small smile curls on her mouth and she wraps her arms around me tighter. "I need to see your eyes…" Watching as they flutter open, the most beautiful blue I've ever seen is staring back at me and yeah, I'm feeling so in love this morning that I'm not sure it's real. "That's better…"

"You woke me just so I could look at you?" She groans. "Eliza, I need to sleep."

"We have to leave soon." My lips press against her own. "I'm sorry you didn't get much sleep last night."

"Mm, I'm not." She smirks as she is reminded of the night we've just had. Literally just a few hours ago. _Ugh_. "I'm not sorry at all."

"No?" I raise an eyebrow. "Then you can get your ass out of this bed and stop whining."

"Now, that's just rude." She pouts. "Is that any way to speak to the woman who rocked your world last night?" Pushing me down on the bed, she partially rests her body on top of my own and gazes down at me, her dimples popping. "Because I did…" She has a look of complete pride on her face."…I _totally_ rocked your world."

"Oh, I'm not disputing that." I hold up my hands. "We still have to leave soon, though. Regardless of what you did to me last night."

"Ugh, I know." She drops her head to my shoulder. "Could I at least get a kiss first?" She gives me those puppy dog eyes. "You know I can't function without your kisses."

"You can have my kisses any time you like." Wrapping my hand around the back of her neck, I pull her in close and take her bottom lip between my teeth before sucking it into my mouth. "And you know that if you need to talk, I'm here."

"About what?" She pulls back, her brow furrowed.

"The small matter of your boss being sick?" I raise an eyebrow. "I don't expect you to feel nothing about it, Arizona. I'm also not worried about the fact that you probably do feel helpless because of your past relationship."

"I haven't thought about it." She rolls off of me. "I mean, there isn't a lot that I can do about it, so?"

"She has people, right?" I turn on my side, propping myself up on my elbow. "Family…friends, whatever?"

"No." Arizona clasps her hands together and settles them on her naked stomach. "Cheryl doesn't have anyone. She never has."

"Why so?" I ask. _Maybe because she's a bitch and people don't hang around long enough._

"She grew up being moved around with anyone who would have her." Arizona sighs. "Her parents died when she was six. Freak accident. The rest of her family didn't want to know. Nobody would take her on."

"Wow, it's no surprise she's a bitch." I breathe out. "Sorry…"

"Don't be." She holds up her hands. "Whatever is happening with her right now, it doesn't excuse the fact that she has been awful to you and tried on more than one occasion to ruin what we have."

"I know that." I nod. "It still kinda explains why she is the woman she is today."

"It does?" My fiancé turns her head and faces me a little better.

"Well, yeah," I reply. "She's grown up with no one and had to survive. She has a strong work ethic but she doesn't know how to leave that at the office. I could see it last night when we were at the club. She doesn't relax. Like, ever."

"That isn't our problem." Arizona shrugs before climbing from the bed. "And we aren't here to help her through this. She is my boss and it stays that way."

"I know…" I sigh. "Look, all I'm saying is that if you need to be there for her as a friend, it's okay. I wouldn't be worried or hurt or offended."

"Yeah, I'm not doing that." She scoffs, a laugh falling from her mouth. "I couldn't take the worry I would have myself."

"But she has no one." I climb from the bed and close the distance between us. Our bodies flush together, Arizona gives me one of her gorgeous smiles and my hand settles against her face. "You are a beautiful person, Arizona. It's your nature to help people when they need it most."

"I know…" Her eyes close and she breathes a slight sigh. "I'm not sure I can be that for Cheryl, though."

"And that is completely understandable." I nod, her eyes opening. "But if you do decide that she could use your friendship, I'm right behind you…okay?"

"That's sweet." She leans in and presses a kiss to my lips. "It's sweet…but it cant happen."

"Okay." I shrug. "Whatever you want to do."

"I don't trust her." Her admission causing me to furrow my brow, she gives me a knowing look and rolls her eyes. "Oh, come on. Are you saying you trust her?"

"No, but I didn't know you felt so unsure about her." I back up and drop down on the edge of the bed. "I mean, you think she's lying?"

"No." Arizona disagrees. "But if I'm back in her life…I can't be sure that she wouldn't try anything. Especially if she is feeling low or whatever."

"I get that." I swallow hard. "So, I should still watch my back, huh?"

"Suddenly you aren't feeling so confident about me being that awesome supportive friend I am…" She laughs. "Now, do you see why I can't get too involved?"

"I can, but I still believe you could help her." I sigh. "This isn't about me watching my back. It's about someone being in need when they have no one."

"You have any idea how adorable you are?" Arizona raises her eyebrow as she straddles my legs. "Any at all?"

"Mm…maybe," I say, nonchalantly. "Just trying to do the right thing, you know?"

"I do, but Cheryl doesn't really deserve anything from either of us, Eliza." I completely agree with her, but this can't be easy. She may be a complete bitch but the woman has just discovered that she has a tumor. What kind of people would we be if we just left her to go it alone? We would be no better than her. "Stop thinking about it." She smiles into a kiss. "She doesn't even know what is happening yet so there is no use working yourself up about it…"

"Yeah…you're right." I smile. "Maybe I should just shut up so you can kiss me?"

"You know…" Her eyes narrow. "That sounds like an _amazing_ idea…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	75. Chapter 75

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Seventy-Five

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Three weeks later…_

It feels so good to be back home in New York. Sure, we may only be here for six days, but it's home and being back at our lake house is just what I need right now. Eliza has been incredible since Cheryl left and she hasn't once disappeared on me like she was doing back when my book tour began. My next signing is just out of town so since I have a few days either side free, we figured coming home was a good option. Just to recharge. Refresh. Have a little normality in our lives. Eliza didn't mind what I decided with regards to where we slept each night, but home is home and it's where I want to be with her. Cheryl left a few days after our evening at the bar and it's been a little over two weeks since I've met with her. She's at the hospital right now recovering from surgery and I'm planning on visiting whilst I have a few hours free. My fiancé is going to the club to see her friends, so I'll do the 'friendly' thing and visit Cheryl. I don't know what her plans are or what her treatment will be but I guess I'm about to find out. I don't expect her to rejoin me on my book tour but that's okay. I'm actually enjoying her _not_ being there. I feel more at ease. If I'm being totally honest, I was waiting for something to creep up. I was waiting for her to say something or do something that would piss Eliza off but her being in a different state makes me feel less unnerved by her behavior.

I appreciate Eliza reassuring me where my boss is concerned but it's no use. I don't want to get too close. I know Cheryl and I know that she will play on her illness given half the chance. She will expect me to be there. She will expect me to drop everything and be what she needs. I've known her long enough to be sure of how this will go. Eliza is right, though. I will help those in need. That doesn't mean I have to get too involved. Getting involved only takes me away from my duties at home. My duties within my own relationship. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk anything ever again for Eliza. She means too much and I honestly can't put my life on Cheryl not interfering. I've been in this game with her long enough, I really have.

Taking the staircase, I find Eliza at the kitchen island. Coffee in her hand and the newspaper set out in front of her. "Good morning, beautiful." She gives me a full smile as I approach her. "Sleep well?" She asks.

"Incredibly well." I press a kiss to her lips and a low moan rumbles in her throat. "Missed you this morning."

"I'm still here." She smiles against my mouth. "What time are you headed out?"

"Haven't decided yet." I shrug as I pull back. "Any coffee for me?" I settle on a stool.

"Of course." She nods. "Let me get it for you…" Rounding the island, she pours me a steaming hot cup and sets it down in front of me. "Are you sure you don't want me to come visit Cheryl with you today?"

"No, you have your own stuff to do." I run my fingers through my hair. "You're sure it's okay for me to head there, though?"

"Arizona, I trust you…" She gives me a knowing look. "I'm not worried."

"At least one of us isn't." I sigh. "I won't stay too long, okay?"

"Take all the time you need." She gives me one of her full smiles and I know it's genuine. I can see how her eyes shine. "Maybe we could meet for dinner or something?"

"I'd like that." _God, I'd really like that._ "Just call me when you're leaving the club and I'll head out myself."

"For sure." She sips her coffee. "Feels good being back here…"

"It does." I agree. "Not long to go on the tour now."

"Oh, I'm not complaining." She holds up her hands. "Just feels good to come back for a little while, is all."

"You know, if you didn't want to head back out on it with me, that would be okay." I study her face. "You know I want you with me but it must be boring."

"Seeing you reap the rewards of your hard work?" She raises her eyebrow. "No, that's not boring. Far from it, actually."

"Really?" I wrinkle my nose. "I know you love what I do and you support me but even I'm beginning to find it a little boring."

"It will all be over soon…"

"Yeah." I smile. "Just…we have _other_ things to be doing."

"Like?"

"Planning our wedding?" I quiz. "I know we agreed to wait until this was all over but I want to get going soon."

"Me too." She shifts in her seat and her hand settles over my own. "You know that."

"Maybe we can begin discussions?"

"Tonight at dinner." She gives me a smile. "Sound good to you?"

"Mm, it does." I finish my coffee and climb down from my stool before settling between my fiancé's legs. "Sounds perfect to me." Wrapping her up in my arms, her face nuzzles in the crook of my neck and she inhales deeply.

"You smell so good…" She smiles against my skin. "And now I don't want you to leave."

"I can stay…" I pull back. "You only have to say the word and my plans can change."

"No, you should go and visit Cheryl." My fiancé brushes her thumb across my cheek. "She could use a friend…even if just for five minutes."

"You're a good person, Eliza." I press my lips to her own. "And I'm lucky enough to call you mine."

"Damn right." She scoffs. "And you make sure nobody ever forgets that."

"I make it my mission." Throwing Eliza a wink, I glance at the clock and figure there is no time like the present to get out of here and do what I've got to do. "I'll see you this evening, okay?"

"I'll make reservations in the city." She says as I head for the door and take my purse in my grasp. "Our usual?"

"Beautiful." I smile as I study her soft features from afar. "You are so freaking beautiful…"

"T-Thank you." She blushes, her forehead slightly creased.

"And yes, our usual place sounds good to me." Pulling the door open, I give my fiancé one final smile and head out onto the porch. The sooner I see Cheryl, the sooner I can get back to us. After all, Eliza is all that matters to me.

* * *

I've been at the hospital for a little while now but Cheryl is pretty quiet. Of course, I don't expect much from her since she has just had major surgery but I'm not sure I should be here. I mean, I feel uncomfortable and I honestly don't even know how to begin a conversation with her. We have spent so much time being simply boss and employee that I've kinda forgotten how to hold a discussion with her. At least, one that doesn't include smart ass comments from her. _Come on, Arizona. She's only human._ Clearing my throat, I shift in my seat a little and Cheryl glances my way, a small smile on her face.

"You know, you don't have to be here…"

"I know, but I figured you could use some company…" I give her a slight shrug. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now that I know that poison is out of me." She makes herself a little more comfortable. "You?"

"Good." I smile. "Nice to be home for a few days…"

"Yeah, the tour can take it out of you." She agrees. "Eliza been keeping you company on your signings?"

"Yeah, she's been great." I nod. "She's been at every one."

"That's good." She breathes out. "Maybe I'll be fit for your next tour."

"What next tour?" I furrow my brow.

"Your readers want more, Arizona." She gives me a knowing look. "They're completely in love with anything you write."

"Oh, I don't plan to write anything for a while now, Cheryl." I give her an awkward look. "I have other stuff I need to concentrate on."

"You're wedding?" She raises an eyebrow. "You haven't begun planning?"

"No, not yet." I sigh. "Planning to discuss some things this evening over dinner. I guess I'll know more once we've got some ideas."

"Why the wait?" She asks, genuinely intrigued. "One or both of you unsure?"

"No, not at all." I shake my head. "I've had a lot on and Eliza understands that. She's supportive like that."

"She does seem to be very supportive." She nods as though I'm seeking some kind of approval from her but I'm not. Not at all. "You think it will work out between you guys? I mean, is she your _one?_ "

"She is." A soft smile settles on my mouth and my mind instantly takes me to the woman in question. "She is completely _my one_ , Cheryl."

"Then you should be with her and not here." She turns her head and fixes her gaze on the window. "I've taken up far too much of your time, Arizona."

"I'm good for a while." I rest back. "Have they given you any more information?"

"Tumor was removed. Successfully." She shrugs. "Awaiting more results."

"That's good, right?" I shift my seat a little closer to her. "I mean, they got it all so that's good?"

"Yeah, of course." She gives me a side glance and smiles. "Just have to get back to myself, I hope."

"Sure, yeah." I nod. "When are you able to leave?"

"I'm waiting to hear from one of the girls at the office…"

"For?" I give her a look of confusion.

"I'm hoping she is able to stay with me for a while." She says. "I'm not able to do much right now."

"Right, yeah." I clear my throat. _Should I invite her to stay with us?_ No, I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. I also can't just suggest it without speaking to Eliza first. I'd never put her in that kind of position, or myself. "So, you can leave then?"

"Yeah, I'm good to go." She shrugs. "Well, as good as I'm going to be until I recover." Ugh, I feel terrible but it isn't my place to take care of her. She's my boss and I have to keep it like that. We can't be friends and that has been proven in the past. As much as I wish I could help her, I can't. It isn't as simple as just helping her out of here and bringing her home. It's anything but as simple as that. _The lake house would be the ideal area for her recovery, though._ No, I can't.

"So, you'll call me when you've heard from her?" I stand and grab my purse. "Or if you need to talk. You know I'm a good listener."

"I'm sure Eliza wouldn't like that." She gives me a thankful smile. "But I appreciate it."

"Eliza is fine with me being here, Cheryl." I head for the door. "She's actually the one who encouraged me to come here…"

"Sure she is."

"I should head off." I slide the door to her room open. "Call me, okay?"

"Goodbye, Arizona." Giving her a smile, I head out into the corridor and give myself a moment. I know Cheryl has hurt me on more than one occasion but I can see how lonely she is. I can see how much she is going to need support. I really want to be that person for her, but it's not a good idea. None of this is a good idea. _Why isn't anything just simple for me?_

* * *

"Hey…" Dropping down into my seat, my hand slips across the table and takes Eliza's. Squeezing it tight, she gives me one of her heart stopping smiles and I feel relaxed for the first time since I left her a few hours ago. "How're the guys at the club?"

"All good. Same old. I'm really not missing that place." She pours me a glass of wine. "How was Cheryl?"

"Quiet." I sigh. "And very alone."

"What can we do, Arizona?" My fiancé gives me a look of worry but I don't understand why. I figured she wouldn't want either of us anywhere near my boss. Seems I got her completely wrong, though. "There must be something…"

"There's not." I sip my wine. "We can't be her people, you know that."

"But if she can keep her hands and her comments to herself, I can live with helping her out."

"Eliza…" I drop my gaze. "I really need you to agree with me that we can't help her out."

"Why?"

"Because I almost asked her to come and stay with us back at the hospital and honestly, I don't want her in our home. I don't want her in my space. I cannot get past what she did to me…to us. Just, please understand that." I give her a desperate look and she simply nods.

"Hey…" She stands and takes a seat closer to me. "I get it, okay?"

"But do you?" I give her a sad smile. "I know we should do something, but I can't risk it. I can't risk _you_."

"You don't need to worry about me." She presses a kiss below my ear. "I'm not going anywhere and you know that."

"It doesn't mean she won't try to disrupt things again."

"I kinda threatened her at the club the other week so I'm hoping she got the message…"

"My hero," I smirk. "She asked me if you were _the one_ …"

"Fucking hell." My fiancé lowers her tone. "Hasn't she figured that out by now?"

"Apparently not." I scoff. "I think she's just testing it. Testing me."

"Well, she may be sick but if she is worrying you…say the word and I'll kick her ass."

"No, I'm sure I can handle it." I squeeze her hand. "Just…can we share this bottle of wine before we eat?" I took a cab into the city with Eliza earlier so we don't have to worry about either of us drinking or driving home. She is a light drinker anyway but sometimes it's nice to enjoy a bottle together while we just talk our crap out.

"Whatever you want to do…" Resting my head on her shoulder, I'm thankful that Eliza managed to grab us a booth. It just adds a little more privacy to our conversation. "You know, I was thinking about our wedding today?"

"Yeah?" I lift my head and my eyes brighten. "What were you thinking?"

"About you…looking incredible and taking my breath away."

"That's sweet." I smile. "Pretty sure you will look unbelievably beautiful, though."

"Well, yeah…we both will." She laughs. "But I'm ready for this whenever you are."

"You're sure?" I raise an eyebrow. "I mean, if you want to back out…now is the time to do it. Once the planning begins, you're stuck with me forever."

"Wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else and you know that." She captures my lips and it feels so good to just be with her right now. Her lips always tell me how she's feeling and in this moment…they're telling me she is madly in love with me. "I want this with you sooner rather than later…"

"So, let's do it." I smile against her mouth. "Let's do this so I can make you my wife…"

"Sounds like a perfect plan to me." She nods. "But…I want to make you my wife just as much so let's move it along a little, huh?"

"You've got it."

"How much longer on your tour?" She asks.

"Four weeks." I refill our glasses and settle back in my seat, Eliza's hand coming to rest on my thigh. "Four weeks and it's all over…until next time."

"There's going to be a next time?" She gives me a full smile.

"According to Cheryl, yeah." I roll my eyes. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, though."

"Whatever you want to do, I'm behind you and you know that."

"I know but I want some time with you when this is all over." I give her a knowing look. "I'm not about to marry you and then disappear into my own head again. I want to feel married life. I want to live it _with_ you and not separate from you."

"Sounds good enough to me…" Eliza agrees. "You know, we could go big for our honeymoon."

"What were you thinking?" I narrow my eyes.

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Maybe like the best accommodation in the middle of an expensive island in the Caribbean? Or…Mauritius. The Maldives."

"I don't know…"

"My treat." She nudges my shoulder. "I mean, so long as you provide the view, I'll provide the rest."

"The view?" I furrow my brow.

"I'm yet to see you in a bikini, Arizona." She takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "And honestly, I'm not sure I'll survive it."

"I'm sure you will." I laugh. "It's nothing special, trust me."

"Oh, I'll be the judge of that." She gives me a look that tells me she means exactly what she says. "Mm, I can see it right now."

"Oh, you can, huh?" My own hand settles on her thigh. "And what exactly is it that you're seeing?"

"You, in very little." She breathes out, her eyes closing. "Me, soaked just watching you as the sun hits your skin…"

"O…kay, back in the room, Minnick."

"S-Sorry…" She stutters, a blush creeping up her neck.

"Oh, don't apologize." I hold up my hands. "The thought of you fantasizing about me makes me feel all kinds of amazing…we do, however, have to plan the day before any of that can _actually_ happen."

"Yeah…" She whines. "I hate planning _anything_."

"Just…think of the end result." I squeeze her thigh. "Just think about us, in very little…sipping cocktails and making love over…and over."

"And over…" She's thinking about it again but I can't help the smile that creeps onto my mouth.

"You with me?" I nudge her.

"Right, yeah…planning." She clears her throat. "Maybe we should get us some dinner so I can take you home and reacquaint you with our bedroom."

"Now that…" I nod. "I can definitely work with."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


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